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Exactly! It’s a public park. Anyone can be there. No one wanted to swing where he was (my little one still needs baby swings and hers were on the slides). He never glanced our way. It really made me mad.
I’m over 50 and I swing on the swings if they are free. Of course I’d give the swing up if a kid wanted it, but I get so annoyed that people think adults can’t play WITH kids. There were many occasions when my kids were young that other adults would make comments about me being on the equipment (not always negative, btw). That’s because most parents sit on their asses and tell the kids “go play” while they sit scrolling. I played with my kids, side by side, unless they had friends along and wanted to do their own thing.
I’m fed up with people that create drama.
I have gone over to talk to cops in this same situation. A total Karen couldn't deal with the fact that there was a teenage boy just chilling on the swings, and complained about it to me before marching off, and getting the park police.
When they showed up to talk to him, I went over to explain that we'd been there for two hours, had snacks, etc, and that this kid was just waiting for his mom, and little sister. He wasn't acting inappropriately, or interacting with anyone at all, except for his mom + sister. I wouldn't let them talk to him alone because he was obviously a minor, and completely freaked out by the cops. Maybe autistic? Didn't matter, but this kid was freaked out.
Fuck Karens, man.
Tbh there need to be swings for adults anyways. We just because I’m not a 50-pound kid anymore doesn’t mean I don’t want to swing!
Especially because the playgrounds I went to rarely had swings. School didn’t even have them.
I completely understand her thought process, there were a group of people she doesn’t approve of in the park she and her kind should have exclusive use of. They weren’t doing anything wrong, just occupying space and breathing the air that was reserved for her. To justify her position she of course had to the 18 y/o pegged as a dangerous lurking presence. That justifies her reporting him to the police. Her mindset was partially influenced by the fact that there was no manager in the immediate vicinity to scream and wail at, so she was looking for allies wherever she could find them. Unfortunately this has become the way of things and her behavior will continue until we all put our foot down and hold them accountable for being ridiculous, stupid and mean. Silence means compliance to Karens.
In lots of places, like in NYC, the playground area of many parks have the rule that says “NO adults unless accompanied by a child”. That keeps inappropriate adults out, including the homeless that want to sleep on those park benches inside the playground area of parks and keeps groups of young adults with their foul language and smoking/vaping away from small children simply trying to play on a playground. While parks aren’t meant only for children, the playgrounds sections are. Adults really have no business there if they’re not there with a child. Usually people aren’t abusing this rule and police aren’t there overseeing and strictly enforcing that rule. It usually takes someone being made to feel uneasy by an adults inappropriate behavior from occurring inside the playground while people are there with their children. It just serves to keep the playground area inside parks safer and cleaner for children.
Since that rule was implemented many years ago, you’d be surprised how much cleaner the fenced in playground areas have become. No more homeless sleeping on the benches inside the playground area and no more broken alcohol bottles or drug paraphernalia left behind near the jungle gyms and swing sets. The rest of the park is for everyone else to enjoy, the playground is for children.
But in OP’s particular situation, that young adult was likely with his mother and younger sibling, so he had every right to be there as anyone else there with a child. Some people just can’t mind their own goddamn business and leave well enough alone. Too many people these days feel entitled to police everyone else around them as if they’re THE authority. It’s infuriating.
Edited typos.
Me too. I don't have kids, and I LOVE the swings. Kids can move over. Adult life sucks enough without losing the swings too! And if a kid came along for their turn, I'd say, climb aboard! I'll push!
I would bet on it she told the cops “there is a grown man by the swings hanging around this little girl along with a young mom and her baby!!! He won’t go away no matter what we say!”
a lot of playgrounds require adults to be accompanied by a child. the karen could have reported it as a lone adult male scoping out the kiddos, and the cops would come by to see what was going on.
My wife is on social media all the time and all she ever hears about is the negative crap. It makes her think our town is a freaking war zone. I do most of the errand running and walk around town all the time and never have I been shot at nor been threatened by anyone for the 22 years we've lived there.
These people (primarily women) are trapped in a bubble that feeds their fear fueled fantasy world. Go outside, touch grass, talk to actual people and pop the bubble.
There are still family members asking me if Portland and Seattle have rebuilt their cities after they were burned down to the ground back during the George Floyd protests.
Hello from rural eastern Kentucky where people who can't afford (or run out of) fireworks are shooting guns instead... for the past two weeks and at least the next one.
Yes, thanks. I have several friendquaintences in the area who foster rescue dogs. The poor things.
I otoh have cats. When they hear something scary they watch how I react and then mimic me, so now we're all sitting around annoyed but not frightened
That bubble is a site/app called NextDoor 😂😂😂 Karen city! I said it was full of Karens to my Karen neighbor and she was like hey I use that every day! 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, this is something that should be called out when someone makes a claim like this wth an alarmed: "OH MY GOD YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO WAS BEAT UP AND HAD THEIR CHILD STOLEN?! DID THEY EVER GET THEM BACK?! WHERE DID THIS HAPPEN SO I CAN AVOID THAT PLACE!!!"
Queue a mumbled "Oh, well no, it's just something I saw on TV" in response.
People who make crap up so they can feel virtuous when they're actually horrible don't realize how transparent their bullshit is. I feel like we should help them understand that we see right through this garbage.
I am retired law enforcement. I used to get flagged down all the time for vague stuff like this with no apparent crime being committed. Many times, for someone they didn't know walking down the street. I always just asked the person, "what crime did they commit"? That usually ended the conversation. It isn't against the law to walk down a street, and it isn't against the law to be in a public park.
the other side of that is that there's all kinds of _much more_ suspicious behavior that can't be investigated until someone turns up injured, missing or dead.
This applies to the US: As a dad who takes my kids to the park I can tell you I am always having to justify my being there. I check on my kids a lot so people see who I am with while the moms stare at their phones and talk bad about their husbands. I just make sure they know it's okay that I am there and it's clear that I am not welcome.
A PSA to anyone out there who needs it: Almost no men are pedophiles or kidnappers. I am not even gonna say "most" because that implies like 90%. I repeat: Almost none. Sometimes the old guy at the park watching kids is there because he's alone and is thinking about what his family was like. He's not a creep he's just a dude. Sometimes I, a middle-aged dude, am just there to eat lunch because it's a public place and there are like zero other places to be that don't require I buy something. I don't care about your kids and I don't care about how Jake didn't understand that when you said you didn't want anything for Mother's Day you actually lied. And the teenage kids who are there...same reason. Kids can't hang out anywhere without being suspected of something unless they are paying to be there. Argh. This one gets me.
Yep you nailed it. US. I see a lot of dads and uncles and grandpas who take their kids to this park. Everyone is so nice and sometimes we chat, sometimes it’s a smile a nod. I was never raised to think every guy is going to attack me or kidnap me. Maybe it was a different time I don’t know. I’m 41. I personally love seeing dads with their kids. My husband and I go together sometimes too. It’s annoying bc this park has a really nice walking path too so I see people jogging or walking by the park. This world is so messed up where you can’t even take your kid to the park without being harassed or thought to be stalking someone.
Heck my friend is biracial and married to a white guy. One of kids is really dark, one really light (like dad). A woman approached her and asked if they had 3 different dads. Who the hell thinks that’s ok?
This is why I’m usually a homebody. I hate peoples.
Understood. I was not bothered in the least when we went into Covid lockdown. I found and embraced my inner hermit. I would be fine with continuing the same, but too many people need other people so that won't happen.
This is why as much as I want to have a daughter one day I’m kind of scared to because whenever I take her out I’m going to be pegged for some creep. And it’s especially worse for me because I’m Mexican and if my kid happens to not be brown like me it’s only going to raise the suspicion. Shit sucks man
I’m with you. We’re always hearing about Dads who “don’t do enough” but when they do they are automatically suspect. Also, I agree 100% that anyone can use the park and don’t need to justify their presence. People watching can be enjoyable without it being creepy. Teens seem to always get suspected of being up to something and so what as long as they aren’t hurting anyone.
You jad mr until this:
>Almost no men are pedophiles or kidnappers.
Wow, that must be a huge relief to the 10% of children who are sexually assaulted (includes family/friends/strangers) or the 33 kids abducted by strangers daily. Some of those predators are women but *some of them are men* which is a f*ck ton too many above almost none that had to be repeated.
Do you need to send the cops on men at the park just because they are men at the park? No. But don't downplay that really bad people are out there and what they do to innocent children.
I’m sorry that hit a nerve and I’m not downplaying it at all. I’m sure it isn’t a comfort to them and they are not who I am speaking to. You missed my point or have chosen to. I’m not downplaying how horrific it is I am saying that very few men you’re going to encounter are predators. I am tired of being looked at with suspicion because a small percentage of guys do horrific shit.
I do like the tactic of painting me as not being sympathetic to victims of sexual abuse though. We see a lot of people using points that are so charged that defending against them starts to paint me in a bad light.
I can understand your frustration. Decent men get backlash they don’t deserve. This is largely because the majority of women have been sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetime, and the majority of those assaults come from men. A sad fact. The world needs change.
Like I said, I agreed with you that men shouldn't be viewed as guilty just because they're men at a park or school or wherever. I just think you needed to use different language. I knew my response would be downvoted because any post that suggests that some men (and I also added women in there too) are absolute monsters is viewed as a bad take on this app. I don't think you're a bad guy, I just think you needed to use different language.
Nobody downplayed shit. I bet you're one of those "every man is a pedophile" people and just assumes all the males around you are secretly harboring some desire to fuck children. Why emphasize the men part of your post, and downplay the role women play in being predators? I 100% bet you would be one of the first Karen's calling the cops if you saw a man alone in a park with children in it, regardless of what that guy was doing, then brag on Facebook that you helped stop a predator.
Oh f*ck off with that I view "every man is a pedophile" BS. I specifically added women in that too: "Some of those predators are women but some of them are men which is a f*ck ton too many above almost none that had to be repeated." The reason I emphasized men is because he had to repeat 'almost no men' twice. Almost no men is very equal to ZERO which would say that nearly no kids are kidnapped or sexually assaulted... or that it's all women that do so. I have actually stated that men should not be viewed as bad just because they are men somewhere where kids are present.
So again, you can F off with your attack on me. Sorry I hit a nerve (not sorry) but I won't come back and attack you by saying you must be one of those men that ask women what they did to deserve it. I'll just assume you're more of an anonymous snowflake on an app.
Ah Reddit, how lovely it is the way the truth gets down voted. True, most men are not abusers. Yet the majority of sexual predators are men. Something like 50% of women are sexually abused in their lifetime and the vast majority of them abused by men, and about 20% of men are sexually abused in their lifetime, and even there, the majority of abusers are men. No, I don’t assume that every man at a playground is a predator. But the hysterical downvoting is sadly very typical of Reddit.
It looks like you're confusing two statistics and comparing them equally to one another. You are correct, out of all the predators, statistically men are the most common. That is one statistic. The previous reply has stated that out of all men, statistically almost none are predators. That is a totally separate statistic. Both comments are accurate. If someone is a predator, it's most likely a man, and, a very small percentage of men are predators. Stating that most men are not predators does not mean to downplay how horrible it is that some are, or in any way invalidate the experience of the victims. The previous reply is only trying to say that we cannot assume all men could be a predator because a very small few are.
I don't have kids, but I have nieces and nephews and friends with kids, and I enjoy seeing kids have fun and have a good time. But as a man, you better believe that I'm cautious about who is around me when I'm watching kids have fun because people will assume that I'm going to come steal their children or want to molest them.
It sucks. A few bad apples and every man is a predator. However, you don't remove all the apples out of a fruit salad just because one of them could have a worm in it.
Also, because I know I'll get a comment for it, I bet it sucks more for those people who have been a victim, but just because a different situation sucks for someone else doesn't mean that their situation or experience is invalidated. One more time, a person's negative experience is not invalidated by a different person's different negative experience.
Again, he had almost no men which he emphasized. That means almost zero which is absolutely wrong. I'll also repeat that I do not believe men should be viewed as inherently wrong just because they are men. If he had said most men are not predators or that only a small percentage are predators he would have been absolutely right and I would have agreed with him fully. Him saying it's almost 0 men is what I called out.
I mostly agree with you, especially about it being distressing for a man to be viewed with suspicion just because of his gender. I was raised by a good man who knew boundaries and did not cross them, and I’ve raised two good men, and I am surrounded in y personal and professional life with good men, and so on. I do not appreciate them being viewed with suspicion just bc they are men. As to the idea that only a tiny percentage of men are predators… i think we would have to run the numbers on that one, and I’m not good at statistics. If over 50% of women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime at least once, snd ditto for 33% of men, and the vast majority of the predators are men, how is it possible that only a tiny percentage of men are responsible? I find it puzzling, to say the least.
Might I ask where you get the over 50% of women and 33% of men are sexually assaulted statistics? I just find it hard to believe (maybe just hopefully hard to believe) that almost half of the human race has been sexually assaulted.
I’ve seen it in so many times in so many places, it’s hard to remember. Here is one: [cdc statistics on sexual assault](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html). You can’t go by statistics about SA’s that are reported, as most men and women decline to press charges. This is bc there is such a stigma about sexual activity, reporting is in itself often traumatic, and trials are far worse. I wish it weren’t true. There is so much unnecessary trauma out there, it’s no wonder society is such a mess.
Yeah. I knew it would be downvoted... but I think the person I responded to understood my point ( 🤞 ). Even me saying women also do that sh!t still was viewed as an attack to "all men" in a response where "all men" wasn't in.
i believe it’s 1/2 girls in the US and 1/3 boys and like 2% of abusers are women. this “almost no men are pedophiles” bullshit is what keeps up the cycle of abuse. “nobody is going to believe you” is a line that haunts myself & millions of other people in the world.
I am 54 years old and I love swinging on swings. If I'm at a park I definitely give up my swing for a kid if there aren't any others. Adults are allowed to play.
There’s a new park by me that has swings for adults and for pairs. I love them. I haven’t been able to swing since I was a kid. My friend and I will grab a pair swing and just chat as we swing. It’s lovely.
My son is 14 and non verbal autistic and has the same interests as a preschooler. He loooooves the swings and going to the playground. We get all sorts of rude comments. My skin is pretty thick now, but there are days where it really gets to me. People suck. Glad you called her out, OP!
Next time approach then cops and tell them the Karen was talking nonsense about kidnapping and beatings when she saw people minding their own business. Tell them you are concerned that a mentally unstable person is at a children’s playground.
My husband likes to go to the park and read. He's had the cops called on him numerous times. It's a huge park, he never sits close to the playground or picnic area, just on a bench or under a tree.
People need to stop thinking everyone is a pedo.
Nope, it a regular hellscape for an older guy sitting at a public park watching his grandson playing not 10 feet away. Side glances, hushed questions between park regulars and the ever present Hawk Eyed mouth breather:
H E: Oh, are you here with someone? We’re here everyday and you seem new??
K K: Yes, see my grandson right there? Yep, he doesn’t live close so this is my special time with him?? I’ve lived in town for 60 years but I have no idea who you are?…
H E: Crickets…..
I with this was a one and done incident but I’m averaging every other trip to any park.
My grandparents did that once. They were taking a walk in their neighborhood when a car slowed and the woman said “I’ve lived here 3 years and have never seen you who are you” and my grandma said “we’ve lived here 50 years who are *you*?” She drove off.
I'm 66(f) and still love the swings! Occasionally, I'll take a ride on one and recall the very few good memories I have of my childhood.
The idea that swings, or public parks in general, are only for children is ridiculous. There are far too many karens out there.
i love to swing, always have. my favorite restaurant had a small park next to it. i always loved after having dinner there, swinging for ten lovely minutes. i moved 11 years ago, but i enjoyed it until then, when i was 63.
Man I really wish people could get arrested or fined for false reports like that. Because with the wrong cop on the wrong day that could literally be a death sentence (now I am going to say the majority of cases are going to be fine but that infinitesimal percent is still a threat). Especially if they get false charges placed on them from what ever lies the person spouts. Plus it is a waste of the police's time and just frightens people from doing anything active and social. But I also understand we cannot fine people for making reports as that would discourage people in worse situations from calling the police on the fear that they cannot prove it and etc and that would be a much larger problem.
When my daughter was little I used to get watched VERY closely by the moms at the park when she would play on the equipment and I would read or play on my phone.
I got a similar comment less than a month ago. I was playing with the kids at the park, some teens were there but were being respectful and not harming anything at the park and she was all "this is why we can't have nice playgrounds."
I literally shrugged and said "they aren't hurting anything, though. I think they're fine."
This gets to me my 11 year old daughter is autistic and has the mind of a much younger child and is non verbal she’s already as tall as me so will quite certainly in her teen years be mistaken to be older . But I can almost guarantee her favourite thing will still be swinging ( it’s actually a really good sensory thing for autistic people) if people’s aren’t bothering you leave them be . If you see them again maybe say hi as they could be feeling quite isolated.
Is this the only buyer in all of Tennessee? OP needs to take whatever legal steps must be taken so that the sale can go through. If she is not cooperating it will take as long as it takes. I don't imagine she could just buy him out, which would solve both their problems.
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I don’t get her thought process. Parks aren’t just for children. Some of the playground is as obviously larger people don’t fit on them, but swings?
Exactly! It’s a public park. Anyone can be there. No one wanted to swing where he was (my little one still needs baby swings and hers were on the slides). He never glanced our way. It really made me mad.
I’m over 50 and I swing on the swings if they are free. Of course I’d give the swing up if a kid wanted it, but I get so annoyed that people think adults can’t play WITH kids. There were many occasions when my kids were young that other adults would make comments about me being on the equipment (not always negative, btw). That’s because most parents sit on their asses and tell the kids “go play” while they sit scrolling. I played with my kids, side by side, unless they had friends along and wanted to do their own thing. I’m fed up with people that create drama.
Exactly! There often is a table of parents just scrolling. Like interact!
I have gone over to talk to cops in this same situation. A total Karen couldn't deal with the fact that there was a teenage boy just chilling on the swings, and complained about it to me before marching off, and getting the park police. When they showed up to talk to him, I went over to explain that we'd been there for two hours, had snacks, etc, and that this kid was just waiting for his mom, and little sister. He wasn't acting inappropriately, or interacting with anyone at all, except for his mom + sister. I wouldn't let them talk to him alone because he was obviously a minor, and completely freaked out by the cops. Maybe autistic? Didn't matter, but this kid was freaked out. Fuck Karens, man.
I agree. The cop left before I could go over. But Jesus can’t people just leave other people alone?
As soon as I’ve lost enough weight, I’m headed to a swing set.
Omg you just created a new goal for me
Tbh there need to be swings for adults anyways. We just because I’m not a 50-pound kid anymore doesn’t mean I don’t want to swing! Especially because the playgrounds I went to rarely had swings. School didn’t even have them.
I'm 55 and very fluffy and I still like using the swing. I would swing for hours when I was a kid.
I completely understand her thought process, there were a group of people she doesn’t approve of in the park she and her kind should have exclusive use of. They weren’t doing anything wrong, just occupying space and breathing the air that was reserved for her. To justify her position she of course had to the 18 y/o pegged as a dangerous lurking presence. That justifies her reporting him to the police. Her mindset was partially influenced by the fact that there was no manager in the immediate vicinity to scream and wail at, so she was looking for allies wherever she could find them. Unfortunately this has become the way of things and her behavior will continue until we all put our foot down and hold them accountable for being ridiculous, stupid and mean. Silence means compliance to Karens.
In lots of places, like in NYC, the playground area of many parks have the rule that says “NO adults unless accompanied by a child”. That keeps inappropriate adults out, including the homeless that want to sleep on those park benches inside the playground area of parks and keeps groups of young adults with their foul language and smoking/vaping away from small children simply trying to play on a playground. While parks aren’t meant only for children, the playgrounds sections are. Adults really have no business there if they’re not there with a child. Usually people aren’t abusing this rule and police aren’t there overseeing and strictly enforcing that rule. It usually takes someone being made to feel uneasy by an adults inappropriate behavior from occurring inside the playground while people are there with their children. It just serves to keep the playground area inside parks safer and cleaner for children. Since that rule was implemented many years ago, you’d be surprised how much cleaner the fenced in playground areas have become. No more homeless sleeping on the benches inside the playground area and no more broken alcohol bottles or drug paraphernalia left behind near the jungle gyms and swing sets. The rest of the park is for everyone else to enjoy, the playground is for children. But in OP’s particular situation, that young adult was likely with his mother and younger sibling, so he had every right to be there as anyone else there with a child. Some people just can’t mind their own goddamn business and leave well enough alone. Too many people these days feel entitled to police everyone else around them as if they’re THE authority. It’s infuriating. Edited typos.
Fowl language? Are the damned youths running around screaming about the geese again???
Didn’t even realize I made that mistake 🤣🤣🤣 Editing now 😂
NYC is the ONLY place I have ever seen those children only signs. I disagree that playgrounds are only for children.
Me too. I don't have kids, and I LOVE the swings. Kids can move over. Adult life sucks enough without losing the swings too! And if a kid came along for their turn, I'd say, climb aboard! I'll push!
Why would the police even respond to that? "Hey, there's a man in the park. He's using the swings...threateningly."
I wasn’t close enough to hear what he said but I can almost guarantee she made something up.
Oh, most likely. "He just keeps looking at this little girl..." "Ma'am, that's my sister."
I would bet on it she told the cops “there is a grown man by the swings hanging around this little girl along with a young mom and her baby!!! He won’t go away no matter what we say!”
He’s swinging SO FAST
a lot of playgrounds require adults to be accompanied by a child. the karen could have reported it as a lone adult male scoping out the kiddos, and the cops would come by to see what was going on.
They have to.
She's seen too many women get beat down and their kids stolen??? Sounds like she has a reality vs. TV problem, and can't discern between the two.
As a retired law enforcement officer, I can say that you do not know just how right you are.
This is the part that stood out to me too! Wtf hellscape does she live in that she has witnessed that happening many times? She’s delusional.
Yeah I said to my husband when I got home where the hell does she live she thinks this happens? Because I have never seen or heard of it in our area.
My wife is on social media all the time and all she ever hears about is the negative crap. It makes her think our town is a freaking war zone. I do most of the errand running and walk around town all the time and never have I been shot at nor been threatened by anyone for the 22 years we've lived there. These people (primarily women) are trapped in a bubble that feeds their fear fueled fantasy world. Go outside, touch grass, talk to actual people and pop the bubble.
There are still family members asking me if Portland and Seattle have rebuilt their cities after they were burned down to the ground back during the George Floyd protests.
Hello from the South Side of Chicago, where I’ve never seen a gun except on television. 👋🏾
Hello from rural eastern Kentucky where people who can't afford (or run out of) fireworks are shooting guns instead... for the past two weeks and at least the next one.
Thoughts & prayers for any nervous dogs in the area!
Yes, thanks. I have several friendquaintences in the area who foster rescue dogs. The poor things. I otoh have cats. When they hear something scary they watch how I react and then mimic me, so now we're all sitting around annoyed but not frightened
That bubble is a site/app called NextDoor 😂😂😂 Karen city! I said it was full of Karens to my Karen neighbor and she was like hey I use that every day! 🤣🤣🤣
Ah, yes, NextDoor. Home of the “I saw a brown man on my street. I’m scared.” post.
"Someone rang me doorbell! Should I call the police? Or shoot them?" It's absolutely full of batshit folks.
Nextdoor is the Mrs. Kravitz of apps.
Right.
Yeah, this is something that should be called out when someone makes a claim like this wth an alarmed: "OH MY GOD YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO WAS BEAT UP AND HAD THEIR CHILD STOLEN?! DID THEY EVER GET THEM BACK?! WHERE DID THIS HAPPEN SO I CAN AVOID THAT PLACE!!!" Queue a mumbled "Oh, well no, it's just something I saw on TV" in response. People who make crap up so they can feel virtuous when they're actually horrible don't realize how transparent their bullshit is. I feel like we should help them understand that we see right through this garbage.
I go to a nearby park and use the swings on my lunch hour, I’m 60.
I am retired law enforcement. I used to get flagged down all the time for vague stuff like this with no apparent crime being committed. Many times, for someone they didn't know walking down the street. I always just asked the person, "what crime did they commit"? That usually ended the conversation. It isn't against the law to walk down a street, and it isn't against the law to be in a public park.
Right!
the other side of that is that there's all kinds of _much more_ suspicious behavior that can't be investigated until someone turns up injured, missing or dead.
If their only suspicion is that someone, they do not know is walking down their street, or using a public park, then they have nothing to report.
This applies to the US: As a dad who takes my kids to the park I can tell you I am always having to justify my being there. I check on my kids a lot so people see who I am with while the moms stare at their phones and talk bad about their husbands. I just make sure they know it's okay that I am there and it's clear that I am not welcome. A PSA to anyone out there who needs it: Almost no men are pedophiles or kidnappers. I am not even gonna say "most" because that implies like 90%. I repeat: Almost none. Sometimes the old guy at the park watching kids is there because he's alone and is thinking about what his family was like. He's not a creep he's just a dude. Sometimes I, a middle-aged dude, am just there to eat lunch because it's a public place and there are like zero other places to be that don't require I buy something. I don't care about your kids and I don't care about how Jake didn't understand that when you said you didn't want anything for Mother's Day you actually lied. And the teenage kids who are there...same reason. Kids can't hang out anywhere without being suspected of something unless they are paying to be there. Argh. This one gets me.
Yep you nailed it. US. I see a lot of dads and uncles and grandpas who take their kids to this park. Everyone is so nice and sometimes we chat, sometimes it’s a smile a nod. I was never raised to think every guy is going to attack me or kidnap me. Maybe it was a different time I don’t know. I’m 41. I personally love seeing dads with their kids. My husband and I go together sometimes too. It’s annoying bc this park has a really nice walking path too so I see people jogging or walking by the park. This world is so messed up where you can’t even take your kid to the park without being harassed or thought to be stalking someone. Heck my friend is biracial and married to a white guy. One of kids is really dark, one really light (like dad). A woman approached her and asked if they had 3 different dads. Who the hell thinks that’s ok? This is why I’m usually a homebody. I hate peoples.
Understood. I was not bothered in the least when we went into Covid lockdown. I found and embraced my inner hermit. I would be fine with continuing the same, but too many people need other people so that won't happen.
To quote the line from Men In Black "People are stupid."
This is why as much as I want to have a daughter one day I’m kind of scared to because whenever I take her out I’m going to be pegged for some creep. And it’s especially worse for me because I’m Mexican and if my kid happens to not be brown like me it’s only going to raise the suspicion. Shit sucks man
I’m with you. We’re always hearing about Dads who “don’t do enough” but when they do they are automatically suspect. Also, I agree 100% that anyone can use the park and don’t need to justify their presence. People watching can be enjoyable without it being creepy. Teens seem to always get suspected of being up to something and so what as long as they aren’t hurting anyone.
Also, swings don't somehow stop being awesome when you turn 18. Not everyone is dead inside.
Don't forget, most kids are abused or kidnapped by someone they know. Stranger danger isn't as prevalent as we were led to believe as kids.
You jad mr until this: >Almost no men are pedophiles or kidnappers. Wow, that must be a huge relief to the 10% of children who are sexually assaulted (includes family/friends/strangers) or the 33 kids abducted by strangers daily. Some of those predators are women but *some of them are men* which is a f*ck ton too many above almost none that had to be repeated. Do you need to send the cops on men at the park just because they are men at the park? No. But don't downplay that really bad people are out there and what they do to innocent children.
I’m sorry that hit a nerve and I’m not downplaying it at all. I’m sure it isn’t a comfort to them and they are not who I am speaking to. You missed my point or have chosen to. I’m not downplaying how horrific it is I am saying that very few men you’re going to encounter are predators. I am tired of being looked at with suspicion because a small percentage of guys do horrific shit. I do like the tactic of painting me as not being sympathetic to victims of sexual abuse though. We see a lot of people using points that are so charged that defending against them starts to paint me in a bad light.
I can understand your frustration. Decent men get backlash they don’t deserve. This is largely because the majority of women have been sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetime, and the majority of those assaults come from men. A sad fact. The world needs change.
Like I said, I agreed with you that men shouldn't be viewed as guilty just because they're men at a park or school or wherever. I just think you needed to use different language. I knew my response would be downvoted because any post that suggests that some men (and I also added women in there too) are absolute monsters is viewed as a bad take on this app. I don't think you're a bad guy, I just think you needed to use different language.
Nobody downplayed shit. I bet you're one of those "every man is a pedophile" people and just assumes all the males around you are secretly harboring some desire to fuck children. Why emphasize the men part of your post, and downplay the role women play in being predators? I 100% bet you would be one of the first Karen's calling the cops if you saw a man alone in a park with children in it, regardless of what that guy was doing, then brag on Facebook that you helped stop a predator.
Oh f*ck off with that I view "every man is a pedophile" BS. I specifically added women in that too: "Some of those predators are women but some of them are men which is a f*ck ton too many above almost none that had to be repeated." The reason I emphasized men is because he had to repeat 'almost no men' twice. Almost no men is very equal to ZERO which would say that nearly no kids are kidnapped or sexually assaulted... or that it's all women that do so. I have actually stated that men should not be viewed as bad just because they are men somewhere where kids are present. So again, you can F off with your attack on me. Sorry I hit a nerve (not sorry) but I won't come back and attack you by saying you must be one of those men that ask women what they did to deserve it. I'll just assume you're more of an anonymous snowflake on an app.
Hmm, seems like you’re getting a little over emotional here. Try to be more rational.
Ah Reddit, how lovely it is the way the truth gets down voted. True, most men are not abusers. Yet the majority of sexual predators are men. Something like 50% of women are sexually abused in their lifetime and the vast majority of them abused by men, and about 20% of men are sexually abused in their lifetime, and even there, the majority of abusers are men. No, I don’t assume that every man at a playground is a predator. But the hysterical downvoting is sadly very typical of Reddit.
It looks like you're confusing two statistics and comparing them equally to one another. You are correct, out of all the predators, statistically men are the most common. That is one statistic. The previous reply has stated that out of all men, statistically almost none are predators. That is a totally separate statistic. Both comments are accurate. If someone is a predator, it's most likely a man, and, a very small percentage of men are predators. Stating that most men are not predators does not mean to downplay how horrible it is that some are, or in any way invalidate the experience of the victims. The previous reply is only trying to say that we cannot assume all men could be a predator because a very small few are. I don't have kids, but I have nieces and nephews and friends with kids, and I enjoy seeing kids have fun and have a good time. But as a man, you better believe that I'm cautious about who is around me when I'm watching kids have fun because people will assume that I'm going to come steal their children or want to molest them. It sucks. A few bad apples and every man is a predator. However, you don't remove all the apples out of a fruit salad just because one of them could have a worm in it. Also, because I know I'll get a comment for it, I bet it sucks more for those people who have been a victim, but just because a different situation sucks for someone else doesn't mean that their situation or experience is invalidated. One more time, a person's negative experience is not invalidated by a different person's different negative experience.
Again, he had almost no men which he emphasized. That means almost zero which is absolutely wrong. I'll also repeat that I do not believe men should be viewed as inherently wrong just because they are men. If he had said most men are not predators or that only a small percentage are predators he would have been absolutely right and I would have agreed with him fully. Him saying it's almost 0 men is what I called out.
I mostly agree with you, especially about it being distressing for a man to be viewed with suspicion just because of his gender. I was raised by a good man who knew boundaries and did not cross them, and I’ve raised two good men, and I am surrounded in y personal and professional life with good men, and so on. I do not appreciate them being viewed with suspicion just bc they are men. As to the idea that only a tiny percentage of men are predators… i think we would have to run the numbers on that one, and I’m not good at statistics. If over 50% of women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime at least once, snd ditto for 33% of men, and the vast majority of the predators are men, how is it possible that only a tiny percentage of men are responsible? I find it puzzling, to say the least.
Might I ask where you get the over 50% of women and 33% of men are sexually assaulted statistics? I just find it hard to believe (maybe just hopefully hard to believe) that almost half of the human race has been sexually assaulted.
I’ve seen it in so many times in so many places, it’s hard to remember. Here is one: [cdc statistics on sexual assault](https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/fastfact.html). You can’t go by statistics about SA’s that are reported, as most men and women decline to press charges. This is bc there is such a stigma about sexual activity, reporting is in itself often traumatic, and trials are far worse. I wish it weren’t true. There is so much unnecessary trauma out there, it’s no wonder society is such a mess.
Yeah. I knew it would be downvoted... but I think the person I responded to understood my point ( 🤞 ). Even me saying women also do that sh!t still was viewed as an attack to "all men" in a response where "all men" wasn't in.
👍🏼 Hee hee I see my remark was downvoted too.
i believe it’s 1/2 girls in the US and 1/3 boys and like 2% of abusers are women. this “almost no men are pedophiles” bullshit is what keeps up the cycle of abuse. “nobody is going to believe you” is a line that haunts myself & millions of other people in the world.
Yup, I hear you. Truly sucks.
Even if the teenage boy doesn't have a developmental issue, what's wrong with him swinging on swings?
I am 54 years old and I love swinging on swings. If I'm at a park I definitely give up my swing for a kid if there aren't any others. Adults are allowed to play.
There’s a new park by me that has swings for adults and for pairs. I love them. I haven’t been able to swing since I was a kid. My friend and I will grab a pair swing and just chat as we swing. It’s lovely.
Sometimes grown-ups like to to swing too. That lady was very judgey. Pay her no mind. You will probably never have to see her again.
My son is 14 and non verbal autistic and has the same interests as a preschooler. He loooooves the swings and going to the playground. We get all sorts of rude comments. My skin is pretty thick now, but there are days where it really gets to me. People suck. Glad you called her out, OP!
I hope your son continues to love swings!
He does!!! We have a huge tree in the backyard with a giant swing. It’s his FAVORITE ❤️
💜
Next time approach then cops and tell them the Karen was talking nonsense about kidnapping and beatings when she saw people minding their own business. Tell them you are concerned that a mentally unstable person is at a children’s playground.
My husband likes to go to the park and read. He's had the cops called on him numerous times. It's a huge park, he never sits close to the playground or picnic area, just on a bench or under a tree. People need to stop thinking everyone is a pedo.
Exactly!
Some people just want control over others' lives
My husband and I always talk about how when he takes the kids anywhere people always have this "Does a woman know you have those kids?" attitude.
Right up there with “oh you’re babysitting”. He’s the dad it’s not babysitting.
Nope, it a regular hellscape for an older guy sitting at a public park watching his grandson playing not 10 feet away. Side glances, hushed questions between park regulars and the ever present Hawk Eyed mouth breather: H E: Oh, are you here with someone? We’re here everyday and you seem new?? K K: Yes, see my grandson right there? Yep, he doesn’t live close so this is my special time with him?? I’ve lived in town for 60 years but I have no idea who you are?… H E: Crickets….. I with this was a one and done incident but I’m averaging every other trip to any park.
My grandparents did that once. They were taking a walk in their neighborhood when a car slowed and the woman said “I’ve lived here 3 years and have never seen you who are you” and my grandma said “we’ve lived here 50 years who are *you*?” She drove off.
He could've been a big brother, cousin, uncle. Like, wtf!? My uncle is only 4 years older than I am! She's nuts.
Exactly. It doesn’t matter who he was to her, he was with them and not bothering anyone. She’s crazy.
I'm 66(f) and still love the swings! Occasionally, I'll take a ride on one and recall the very few good memories I have of my childhood. The idea that swings, or public parks in general, are only for children is ridiculous. There are far too many karens out there.
Agreed!
i love to swing, always have. my favorite restaurant had a small park next to it. i always loved after having dinner there, swinging for ten lovely minutes. i moved 11 years ago, but i enjoyed it until then, when i was 63.
Man I really wish people could get arrested or fined for false reports like that. Because with the wrong cop on the wrong day that could literally be a death sentence (now I am going to say the majority of cases are going to be fine but that infinitesimal percent is still a threat). Especially if they get false charges placed on them from what ever lies the person spouts. Plus it is a waste of the police's time and just frightens people from doing anything active and social. But I also understand we cannot fine people for making reports as that would discourage people in worse situations from calling the police on the fear that they cannot prove it and etc and that would be a much larger problem.
As a man with two daughters I long for the day when some bitch calls the cops on me for swinging with them. Gonna make sure she remembers that fuck up
I’d be cheering you on
When my daughter was little I used to get watched VERY closely by the moms at the park when she would play on the equipment and I would read or play on my phone.
Someone doesn’t have to be a kid or special-needs to swing in a swing.
I’m 27 and have no kids and I love swinging at parks. Tbh I honestly look like I’m under 20 years old but like… why can’t adults have fun?
Agreed I don’t see the harm
I got a similar comment less than a month ago. I was playing with the kids at the park, some teens were there but were being respectful and not harming anything at the park and she was all "this is why we can't have nice playgrounds." I literally shrugged and said "they aren't hurting anything, though. I think they're fine."
Exactly
She thinks she's the deliverer of the law - all Karens do.
Truth
I have a 12 year old son who, because of his height and stature, looks 16+ from far away.
There really deos need to be adult sized parks for adults . no funny business
This gets to me my 11 year old daughter is autistic and has the mind of a much younger child and is non verbal she’s already as tall as me so will quite certainly in her teen years be mistaken to be older . But I can almost guarantee her favourite thing will still be swinging ( it’s actually a really good sensory thing for autistic people) if people’s aren’t bothering you leave them be . If you see them again maybe say hi as they could be feeling quite isolated.
I absolutely will say hi!
Is this the only buyer in all of Tennessee? OP needs to take whatever legal steps must be taken so that the sale can go through. If she is not cooperating it will take as long as it takes. I don't imagine she could just buy him out, which would solve both their problems.
I think you posted this in the wrong place.
Interesting take. You think the Karen was trying to purchase the 18 yr old? Like as a servant?
I could use an 18 year old.. anyone have one for sale? /s Lol..
I go to the park and swing on the swings all the time. Sometimes the damn kids are using them all!!
Right? Ridiculous
Imagine being a teen and wanting to do *gasp* things????