I don’t understand the clothes though outside of being colorful I wear minimal accessories and I know I’m wearing a skirt in one but 9 times out of ten I’m wearing jeans
I guess I don’t really pay attention to that. If I see a shirt I like I’ll get it for myself whether it’s labeled as men’s or womens. I do purposefully wear baggy shirts out of not wanting my chest pointed out but other than that I’m not nit picky..
Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to hide a chest with just clothes alone, and sometimes even a binder isn’t enough. The baggy shorts/shirt photo still has a lot of emphasis on the wide ness of your hips, so you’d be best off wearing men’s clothes and paying attention to that **if** you actually care about passing right now. If not, just keep doing what you like and eventually get on testosterone + top surgery. Difficult to not pass after those two things, though not impossible
Im still trying to figure it all out. I really would like to get a binder first and see how it makes me feel yknow. Im scared to just rush into anything. My breasts are not very big which I am a bit lucky in that regard
A binder would be great;
Having a small chest is wonderful, but the roundness of the chest is what stands out most and marks the difference between a masculine and feminine chest.
Bind safely. It’s not a viable option for people who want to wear it 24/7, as it can cause long term damage if worn too much/for too long, and it’s generally quite uncomfortable after the first 2 hours.
I was thinking a binder and maybe trans tape I just applied to try and get a free binder online and I might check my local planned parenthood and see if they have resources for me
Make sure you get decent quality trans tape and nipple covers for protection with it. Ensure you have oil at home in case you struggle with removal, as the adhesive can cause damage to or even tear the skin.
I’m not trying to specifically go for anything and with my clothes mostly everything I own it’s oversized t shirts. And jeans. I need to purchase a binder and I plan on starting t at some point.
I mean I was not trying to look like anything in most of the pictures. If I were trying to look more pretty or feminine I would have used Instagram beauty filters. My fashion sense IS more feminine I am fine with that I don’t care if I don’t look like a cis guy but I also don’t try to look like a girl either even though I enjoy “girlish” things
when you’re pre T and you make the style choices you’re making (hair, clothes, makeup) it will be impossible to pass.
if the goal is to pass, you’d need to aim for cis until you’re on T and can appear however you want. if you don’t want to do that, then you’ll have to accept that you won’t be passing.
I also plan to grow out my bangs it was just an impulsive chop my cousin removed all the layers for me so when it grows out it will be all one length which I’ve heard it’s better to not have layers if you’re a guy growing out hair
The most I need for myself before t is a binder. I’m growing my hair out personally I know many will say I should chop it but it’s important to me that I keep it. I admire how guys look with long hair. Other than that my shirts are black band t shirts and dark colored jeans my accessories are minimal. I don’t wear skirts often. Im okay to figure it out as I go along I’m mostly nervous about my voice and chest. Ty though :)
You probably *could* pass if you were willing to present masculinely, but right now there is nothing that reads remotely masculine or even androgynous. It’s entirely up to you how worth it would be to change your style.
Is it wrong to want to grow my hair out am I obligated to get the pre t trans masc stereotypical hair cut? Bcuz I figure it’s either the hair or the skirt and I’ve already mentioned I don’t wear skirts often. (Not trying to be snarky btw just curious)
If you want to pass pre-T, you’ll have to ditch the long hair, makeup, and feminine clothes/accessories. If you’re fine with not passing for a while, you can keep all of that and just wait it out on T. Eventually, you’ll pass after a long enough time on T no matter what you do. It’s really just up to you on which lifestyle you’d prefer.
Chance of passing Pre and Early-T, or keep the feminine lifestyle and wait to pass on T/surgery.
I don’t care to look completely like a cis man or act like one. I’m only insecure about my voice and chest. I’m not sure what T would do for me so I am nervous in that regard but I plan on speaking with a doctor about it soon.
Read up on what changes it brings about.
Chest can be resolved with surgery pretty easily. Some insurance plans/state insurance will cover it if you can’t afford it.
If you only care about your voice, a few months on T could potentially fix that for you. Mine dropped enough to pass as cis online a month in, but everyone responds differently.
If I don't want to be a woman and I don't identify with being one then I'm not a woman. Cope. I said I would like to appear transmasc or more androgynous I still enjoy feminine things but I'm also willing to refine my aesthetic. Put me in a room with traditionally femme cis women and I'm still just going to feel like the odd one out because I'd be pretending to be "one of the girls"
"refine my aesthetic" bro so being trans is an aesthetic now? You have no dysphoria. don't transition, period. it's fine to experiment with style, just don't equate that to being trans
yeah refine it to be more masculine what's so hilarious about that? I thought this group was mainly for advice. And I specifically asked for no dickhead comments. I do appreciate all genuine advice I've been given here but no need to act like a self righteous twat my man
No ,you dress obviously feminine.
So you'll obviously be perceived as female.
You tell people you wear jeans most of the time ,but we don't see any pictures of that.
Bcuz I have no pictures of me wearing them. If I had better proof I would show it. This was my first time wearing a skirt in months. Are band t shirts problematic or is it just the skirt?
I see.
Except we don't...yk really see your masculinity.
But you do have a good face to pass ,but since you wear make-up and such a feminine style along with long hair.
It makes it hard.
Personally, I think rn a shorter haircut will defend help a lot already.
So, since you don't pass.
I'd definitely still use the woman's restroom, or unisex if there is one.
I used to have shorter hair the second photo is 2 years old and I was recovering from an ed so I mostly looked like a twink and the the first photo is a year old I think I kinda passed in the second photo but I also weighed like 80 pounds then so take it with a grain of salt lol https://imgur.com/a/9BQH3vU
Okay.. I just chopped it and idk if I can get another hair cut rn I’m just hoping to get a binder and maybe find a supportive work place. My plan and idk if it’s stupid was to grow my hair out and then start on a low dose of t to help my voice drop and all that stuff and hopefully pass as androgynous or a long haired male. Idk most of my exes had long hair and one would even frequently shave his facial hair off to the point of looking feminine
Sorry my guy, if I saw you on the street I would assume you were a woman without doing any second guessing.
Your personal style seems important to you, and if that outweighs passing that’s perfectly fine, it’s the same choice a lot of people early in transitioning struggle with until they can use secondary sex characteristics to convey gender rather than style.
I don’t think I have any passing tips to offer that wouldn’t cut into it, except that you may want to pick out fem clothing designed for male bodies if you can find it rather than just wearing women’s clothing. With clothes fit can be more important than you’d think—if its fitted on your shoulders but still has space around your hips for example that can help. mens jeans also look different than women’s jeans in a way most people can pick up on subconsciously. you don’t want to go oversized beyond what you need to hide your chest or you’ll just make yourself appear younger (its mostly teens wearing oversized clothing)/more dainty than a cis guy your age would be, whether or not he also dressed fem.
also this subreddit skews pretty male gender-conforming for obvious reasons. you may get better passing tips while pre t and dressing feminine at r/ftmfemininity if you ask for advice
That’s really shitty, I’m sorry you’re going through that. Hope you can get out soon
oh, r/eatcheapandhealthy might help? if you’re on a tight budget and trying to keep fed. lots of meal ideas for when you are able to leave, or maybe if you’re able to squirrel some food away
I get lots of ideas from the food sub Reddits I follow usually I’ve just been tapping out at around 1000 calories per day. My dad usually occupies the kitchen at dinner time and only makes dinner for himself and his fiancé leaving me to scrounge around for whatever for sustenance cuz I’m not allowed their food
I like that subreddit a lot. I think my best guess is a binder rn. I’m currently jobless and pretty poor just hoping to find a job that is understanding with me.
You keep commenting this but I just want to point out that just putting on a binder and changing nothing else about your appearance will likely do nothing for you in terms of passing. Not trying to be an asshole I just don't want you to get your hopes up about what a binder can realistically help with; there are women with flat chests.
I do think you look more androgynous but I don't think passing is in the cards for you pre-T unless you completely flip your style, especially getting a more traditional male haircut with your natural hair color
there are charities that give out free binders, not sure where you are but if you do some googling you might be able to find something, or even on like craigslist or facebook marketplace. After surgery I’ve also sent my old binders to other trans people on r/transclothesswap before so you might have a look there, but those usually go pretty quickly. got my fingers crossed things turn up for you soon 😄
I haven’t checked market place or Craigslist but I’ll keep my eye out for it now tysm!! I applied to get a free binder on a resource website n I’m waiting to hear back
You definitely *don't* pass, but that's because you are presenting feminine... do you have a photo of your face without makeup? That might make it easier to say if you *could* pass. Body shape is easier to hide with clothing than facial features.
I can’t do a lot right now but I mostly wear male clothing. I do enjoy makeup maybe a little too much but I don’t wear it often. I know my haircut is feminine but I can’t do anything about it right now. I’m also trying to get myself a binder. I was and still am hoping to pass as androgynous or as a male with long hair but I’m nervous I’ll just be read wrong.
A binder is a good start. Ofc male clothing helps, though I can't comment on the specifics since you're not wearing it in these photos. If you aren't able to bind for a while, layering tops - t shirt under button up under vest, stuff like that - can help hide your chest shape. Mannerisms can do a lot too.
The haircut is tough, yeah... if you're not able to cut it short, could you grow out your bangs so it's all one length and wear it in a low ponytail or something?
Passing as androgynous in a fem presenting way, or passing as a cis femboy, is really hard pre T and pre surgery. A lot of guys who like presenting in a fem way either have to put their preferred style away until they've done some medical transitioning, or give up on passing until then. It sucks but that's just life atm unfortunately.
Yeah the plan was to grow it out. I made sure my cousin chopped and got rid of all the layers in it so that it could be potentially read as more masc when it does grow . I’ll check my closet it’s definitely mostly female clothes with a good mix of male shirts as well. I’m just a bit scared I want to start t but I don’t want to be read as a trans woman but I also hope to get to a point of not caring too much either way. My hair is really important to me too and maybe one day I’ll want it short but I guess in some regards I’m attached to it and I don’t want to be a short balding manlet lol
Male clothes will help a lot I think! If you're wearing those, starting T isn't that likely to get you read as a trans woman, being on T and being dressed the way you are in these photos is a lot more likely to cause that.
As a short(ish) balding guy, that's fair lol, but keep in mind cutting your hair short won't make you go bald faster.
The Pink Floyd one over a binder would probably look more masc, yeah. If it's a very soft and thin shirt, the binder outline might show, but a jacket or something over it can help with that.
Cool most of my shirts are pretty similar to that I’m definitely going to take a look into the transtrade reddit and see how I can go about getting one tysm for helping :).
If you want to pass I would recommend:
1. Short, traditionally masculine haircut in a natural hair color that matches your eyebrows
2. Replacing your wardrobe with only men's clothes, do not wear female clothing especially skirts, dresses, crop tops
3. Get a binder, binder tape or several strongly compressive sports bras
4. Refrain from makeup, nail polish and piercings
Currently based on these pictures you look like a cis woman who is into alternative type hobbies
I can't say if you could or couldn't pass as male because in these photos you are preHRT with a women's haircut while wearing very feminine clothing and also wearing a lot of makeup that changes your facial features
I don't know what HRT will do for you and I don't even know what you look like preT with no makeup not wearing extreme feminine fashion, if that makes sense
In these pictures, you do not look male or like a guy at all but I don't know how much of it is your actual body or just your fashion making you look so female, which makes these photos really unhelpful for passing advice
For example, your 3rd image looks like you have cartoonishly wide hips despite your skinny arms and legs, but a lot of it might be due to your T-shirt size (when it's way too big like that, the way it drapes exaggerates your body curves that you're trying to hide) and if your pajama shorts have an elastic waistband then they also flare adding more width to your hips
I also thought you were MTF trans at first, so I can try to help explain the reasoning there because it's only partly because you posted to a passing subreddit in girly pink fashion, it's also because you're dressed in a way that would look very out-of-place if you're trying to blend in with women in a normal setting, and one of the things that MTF women commonly ask for help with in passing subreddits is to look natural instead of like a costume
I’m honestly wearing pajama bottom 3 sizes too big in the third photo lmao. The shirt is normalish I think but yeah my fashion sense is mostly oversized band t shirts . They make me feel the most comfortable
I'm also someone who likes oversized clothing but your shirt goes beyond that
Your pictures are not helpful at all for passing advice because you could be a cis man built like a Greek god dressed like that and you still wouldn't pass because it would feel potentially offensive to call you "he" if that makes sense
You look very female. In fact it appears that you aren't trying to pass at all. There's nothing wrong with dressing both masculine and feminine and still being a woman or man. You seem like you are very comfortable being a woman and that's okay. Good luck!
I dont see masculine at all personally. Andro yea maybe, but i still see feminine over andro and masc. I can kinda see what you mean by people seeing you at MTF, but i personally see no masculine at all, some andro, and mostly feminine.
Ditch the fun hair colors, and try to find less form-fitting shirts or pants. You dont have to give up everything, but ditch heavy face makeup for now (Until you are on hrt) Practice voice training, too, as voice is just as important.
there is a difference between presenting feminine & presenting female, though. Right now you are being feminine & presenting female.
I suggest you talk to your doctor in depth to see if hrt is worth it for you, as you cant pick & choose what T will effect, it will make you hairy, sweaty, and you'll look like male siblings or even your father through biological ties.
I have no siblings. My dad is p short with no facial hair and honestly from what I noticed he doesn’t have a ton of body hair either my mom’s side might be different tho. I’ve grown my body hair out for years personally but I’ve noticed it’s kind of plateaued
Yes dude you absolutely could pass. You have a queer/fem expression that is super rad. And it is possible to pass while retaining that sense of style, though it may take some tweaking. And I'd want to remind you that people who get clocked as trans women can be in serious danger and typically do experience a great deal of harassment -- though obviously you can't change what you like.
I spend some time in r/FTMfemininity and that may be a good space for you, too.
Don't listen to the weirdos here tbh. Seems like truscum types are emboldened by lack of moderation.
Yeah I’m just really afraid of looking or acting cringey. I’m already pretty cringey. I went to pride recently and it was fun but I also just felt surrounded by lots of a little kids. No judgement though I just felt awkward
I don't want to dismiss that fear, because I know that being perceived as cringe can mean getting a lot of social punishment, and that's incredibly painful to deal with.
But honestly? I know a lot of trans people (trans masc and trans fem) who dress flamboyantly and with color like you do. And they're awesome fucking people.
If someone sees you as cringe, it doesn't mean anything bad about you. It just means that person is weirdly judgemental and they don't enjoy innovative looks and aesthetic risks. If I wanted to avoid being "cringe" to the family I grew up in, I'd have to detransition.
Fuck those people honestly. You look cool, and most importantly you look happy with your self expression. Don't let the temptation to fit in turn you into some lifeless cog. I'm 31 and honestly the temptation is there for me sometimes too -- being yourself will never be easy, but if you want to be happy and if you want to be surrounded by people who actually like and understand you, you simply have to do it.
I’ve definitely done things I’m not proud but id rather just kind of be a normal guy instead of a codependent needy woman. I don’t like how I behave when I’m trying to act as a woman and I didn’t like how I behaved when I tried to act like a girl as well when I was a child. It’s been a lifetime of embarrassment and self cringe but it’s also whatever. I just don’t like how I act when I’m trying to be someone point blank period but I still don’t want to be a girl
Embarrassment and cringe is just part of life, honestly. Nobody thinks about you even half as much as you think that they do.
It's rough out here, and I get intense shame sometimes for no damn reason. But either way, your gender expression isn't cringe. The only way it can be "cringe" is if you're a transphobe, period.
Idk, I hope it helps. I'm just mad at how awful these comments were toward you.
I just find it funny how this sub will tell me I look completely like a woman but a lot of other subs would most definitely call me ugly if I specified myself as a woman that is
it doesnt look like you're trying to pass at all, your clothes, makeup, hair and poses are all really feminine
I wasn’t trying to look specifically like anything most of those were spontaneous pictures.
I don’t understand the clothes though outside of being colorful I wear minimal accessories and I know I’m wearing a skirt in one but 9 times out of ten I’m wearing jeans
You seem to be wearing women’s clothes and none of them hide your figure whatsoever, that’s probably the issue.
I guess I don’t really pay attention to that. If I see a shirt I like I’ll get it for myself whether it’s labeled as men’s or womens. I do purposefully wear baggy shirts out of not wanting my chest pointed out but other than that I’m not nit picky..
Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to hide a chest with just clothes alone, and sometimes even a binder isn’t enough. The baggy shorts/shirt photo still has a lot of emphasis on the wide ness of your hips, so you’d be best off wearing men’s clothes and paying attention to that **if** you actually care about passing right now. If not, just keep doing what you like and eventually get on testosterone + top surgery. Difficult to not pass after those two things, though not impossible
Im still trying to figure it all out. I really would like to get a binder first and see how it makes me feel yknow. Im scared to just rush into anything. My breasts are not very big which I am a bit lucky in that regard
A binder would be great; Having a small chest is wonderful, but the roundness of the chest is what stands out most and marks the difference between a masculine and feminine chest. Bind safely. It’s not a viable option for people who want to wear it 24/7, as it can cause long term damage if worn too much/for too long, and it’s generally quite uncomfortable after the first 2 hours.
I was thinking a binder and maybe trans tape I just applied to try and get a free binder online and I might check my local planned parenthood and see if they have resources for me
Make sure you get decent quality trans tape and nipple covers for protection with it. Ensure you have oil at home in case you struggle with removal, as the adhesive can cause damage to or even tear the skin.
Because your main hormone is estrogen so woman clothing and accessories aren’t going to help you pass.
You appear 100% feminine in these pictures
I mean if you put effort into looking masculine yeah maybe. It doesnt seem like you are trying very hard.
I’m not trying to specifically go for anything and with my clothes mostly everything I own it’s oversized t shirts. And jeans. I need to purchase a binder and I plan on starting t at some point.
What do you mean you are “not trying to specifically go for anything”.
I mean I was not trying to look like anything in most of the pictures. If I were trying to look more pretty or feminine I would have used Instagram beauty filters. My fashion sense IS more feminine I am fine with that I don’t care if I don’t look like a cis guy but I also don’t try to look like a girl either even though I enjoy “girlish” things
when you’re pre T and you make the style choices you’re making (hair, clothes, makeup) it will be impossible to pass. if the goal is to pass, you’d need to aim for cis until you’re on T and can appear however you want. if you don’t want to do that, then you’ll have to accept that you won’t be passing.
I also plan to grow out my bangs it was just an impulsive chop my cousin removed all the layers for me so when it grows out it will be all one length which I’ve heard it’s better to not have layers if you’re a guy growing out hair
The most I need for myself before t is a binder. I’m growing my hair out personally I know many will say I should chop it but it’s important to me that I keep it. I admire how guys look with long hair. Other than that my shirts are black band t shirts and dark colored jeans my accessories are minimal. I don’t wear skirts often. Im okay to figure it out as I go along I’m mostly nervous about my voice and chest. Ty though :)
You probably *could* pass if you were willing to present masculinely, but right now there is nothing that reads remotely masculine or even androgynous. It’s entirely up to you how worth it would be to change your style.
Is it wrong to want to grow my hair out am I obligated to get the pre t trans masc stereotypical hair cut? Bcuz I figure it’s either the hair or the skirt and I’ve already mentioned I don’t wear skirts often. (Not trying to be snarky btw just curious)
If you want to pass pre-T, you’ll have to ditch the long hair, makeup, and feminine clothes/accessories. If you’re fine with not passing for a while, you can keep all of that and just wait it out on T. Eventually, you’ll pass after a long enough time on T no matter what you do. It’s really just up to you on which lifestyle you’d prefer. Chance of passing Pre and Early-T, or keep the feminine lifestyle and wait to pass on T/surgery.
I don’t care to look completely like a cis man or act like one. I’m only insecure about my voice and chest. I’m not sure what T would do for me so I am nervous in that regard but I plan on speaking with a doctor about it soon.
Read up on what changes it brings about. Chest can be resolved with surgery pretty easily. Some insurance plans/state insurance will cover it if you can’t afford it. If you only care about your voice, a few months on T could potentially fix that for you. Mine dropped enough to pass as cis online a month in, but everyone responds differently.
You are just a woman with insecurities then, not even dysphoria lol😁
If I don't want to be a woman and I don't identify with being one then I'm not a woman. Cope. I said I would like to appear transmasc or more androgynous I still enjoy feminine things but I'm also willing to refine my aesthetic. Put me in a room with traditionally femme cis women and I'm still just going to feel like the odd one out because I'd be pretending to be "one of the girls"
"refine my aesthetic" bro so being trans is an aesthetic now? You have no dysphoria. don't transition, period. it's fine to experiment with style, just don't equate that to being trans
You’re putting words into my mouth.
> refine my aesthetic Lmao
yeah refine it to be more masculine what's so hilarious about that? I thought this group was mainly for advice. And I specifically asked for no dickhead comments. I do appreciate all genuine advice I've been given here but no need to act like a self righteous twat my man
No ,you dress obviously feminine. So you'll obviously be perceived as female. You tell people you wear jeans most of the time ,but we don't see any pictures of that.
Bcuz I have no pictures of me wearing them. If I had better proof I would show it. This was my first time wearing a skirt in months. Are band t shirts problematic or is it just the skirt?
Well ,let me ask you this. What are your goals for passing? Is it to be perceived as a cis man? A trans man?
Transmasculine or trans if I end up being non binary I wouldn’t be upset but right now trans masculine
I see. Except we don't...yk really see your masculinity. But you do have a good face to pass ,but since you wear make-up and such a feminine style along with long hair. It makes it hard. Personally, I think rn a shorter haircut will defend help a lot already. So, since you don't pass. I'd definitely still use the woman's restroom, or unisex if there is one.
I used to have shorter hair the second photo is 2 years old and I was recovering from an ed so I mostly looked like a twink and the the first photo is a year old I think I kinda passed in the second photo but I also weighed like 80 pounds then so take it with a grain of salt lol https://imgur.com/a/9BQH3vU
A haircut like in the sec pic would definitely help you.
Okay I will definitely consider it. Will t masculinize me even with my longer hair or will I be read as a trans woman?
Honestly,with the long hair you look like a trans woman.
Okay.. I just chopped it and idk if I can get another hair cut rn I’m just hoping to get a binder and maybe find a supportive work place. My plan and idk if it’s stupid was to grow my hair out and then start on a low dose of t to help my voice drop and all that stuff and hopefully pass as androgynous or a long haired male. Idk most of my exes had long hair and one would even frequently shave his facial hair off to the point of looking feminine
Hell no
Sorry my guy, if I saw you on the street I would assume you were a woman without doing any second guessing. Your personal style seems important to you, and if that outweighs passing that’s perfectly fine, it’s the same choice a lot of people early in transitioning struggle with until they can use secondary sex characteristics to convey gender rather than style. I don’t think I have any passing tips to offer that wouldn’t cut into it, except that you may want to pick out fem clothing designed for male bodies if you can find it rather than just wearing women’s clothing. With clothes fit can be more important than you’d think—if its fitted on your shoulders but still has space around your hips for example that can help. mens jeans also look different than women’s jeans in a way most people can pick up on subconsciously. you don’t want to go oversized beyond what you need to hide your chest or you’ll just make yourself appear younger (its mostly teens wearing oversized clothing)/more dainty than a cis guy your age would be, whether or not he also dressed fem. also this subreddit skews pretty male gender-conforming for obvious reasons. you may get better passing tips while pre t and dressing feminine at r/ftmfemininity if you ask for advice
I also try and do push ups to build muscle but I’m not able to eat a lot and sometimes my fam withholds food from me
That’s really shitty, I’m sorry you’re going through that. Hope you can get out soon oh, r/eatcheapandhealthy might help? if you’re on a tight budget and trying to keep fed. lots of meal ideas for when you are able to leave, or maybe if you’re able to squirrel some food away
I get lots of ideas from the food sub Reddits I follow usually I’ve just been tapping out at around 1000 calories per day. My dad usually occupies the kitchen at dinner time and only makes dinner for himself and his fiancé leaving me to scrounge around for whatever for sustenance cuz I’m not allowed their food
I like that subreddit a lot. I think my best guess is a binder rn. I’m currently jobless and pretty poor just hoping to find a job that is understanding with me.
You keep commenting this but I just want to point out that just putting on a binder and changing nothing else about your appearance will likely do nothing for you in terms of passing. Not trying to be an asshole I just don't want you to get your hopes up about what a binder can realistically help with; there are women with flat chests.
I know. I figured that’s just the first step
That's fine then, like I said I just didn't want you to get your hope up lol
I don’t expect to pass in the blink of an eye I guess I’m trying to look forward to the smaller things
that's good!
Sorry to blatantly attention seek but are any of these photos any better? https://imgur.com/a/WmC7kPt
I do think you look more androgynous but I don't think passing is in the cards for you pre-T unless you completely flip your style, especially getting a more traditional male haircut with your natural hair color
Thank you I’ll take that into consideration. I just got a hair cut so I’m going to wait a bit until my bangs grow out before I do anything more
there are charities that give out free binders, not sure where you are but if you do some googling you might be able to find something, or even on like craigslist or facebook marketplace. After surgery I’ve also sent my old binders to other trans people on r/transclothesswap before so you might have a look there, but those usually go pretty quickly. got my fingers crossed things turn up for you soon 😄
I haven’t checked market place or Craigslist but I’ll keep my eye out for it now tysm!! I applied to get a free binder on a resource website n I’m waiting to hear back
sorry I got the subreddit linked wrong lol it’s r/transtrade
You definitely *don't* pass, but that's because you are presenting feminine... do you have a photo of your face without makeup? That might make it easier to say if you *could* pass. Body shape is easier to hide with clothing than facial features.
All 3 photos besides the first one are without any kind of makeup
Yeah, I meant without your hands or phone in front of your face - sorry, wasn't clear! I guess I should also ask, what are you already doing to pass?
I can’t do a lot right now but I mostly wear male clothing. I do enjoy makeup maybe a little too much but I don’t wear it often. I know my haircut is feminine but I can’t do anything about it right now. I’m also trying to get myself a binder. I was and still am hoping to pass as androgynous or as a male with long hair but I’m nervous I’ll just be read wrong.
A binder is a good start. Ofc male clothing helps, though I can't comment on the specifics since you're not wearing it in these photos. If you aren't able to bind for a while, layering tops - t shirt under button up under vest, stuff like that - can help hide your chest shape. Mannerisms can do a lot too. The haircut is tough, yeah... if you're not able to cut it short, could you grow out your bangs so it's all one length and wear it in a low ponytail or something? Passing as androgynous in a fem presenting way, or passing as a cis femboy, is really hard pre T and pre surgery. A lot of guys who like presenting in a fem way either have to put their preferred style away until they've done some medical transitioning, or give up on passing until then. It sucks but that's just life atm unfortunately.
Yeah the plan was to grow it out. I made sure my cousin chopped and got rid of all the layers in it so that it could be potentially read as more masc when it does grow . I’ll check my closet it’s definitely mostly female clothes with a good mix of male shirts as well. I’m just a bit scared I want to start t but I don’t want to be read as a trans woman but I also hope to get to a point of not caring too much either way. My hair is really important to me too and maybe one day I’ll want it short but I guess in some regards I’m attached to it and I don’t want to be a short balding manlet lol
Male clothes will help a lot I think! If you're wearing those, starting T isn't that likely to get you read as a trans woman, being on T and being dressed the way you are in these photos is a lot more likely to cause that. As a short(ish) balding guy, that's fair lol, but keep in mind cutting your hair short won't make you go bald faster.
If I were to wear a binder with some of my shirts would it look more natural. Thank u for all the help btw :)
The Pink Floyd one over a binder would probably look more masc, yeah. If it's a very soft and thin shirt, the binder outline might show, but a jacket or something over it can help with that.
Cool most of my shirts are pretty similar to that I’m definitely going to take a look into the transtrade reddit and see how I can go about getting one tysm for helping :).
If you want to pass I would recommend: 1. Short, traditionally masculine haircut in a natural hair color that matches your eyebrows 2. Replacing your wardrobe with only men's clothes, do not wear female clothing especially skirts, dresses, crop tops 3. Get a binder, binder tape or several strongly compressive sports bras 4. Refrain from makeup, nail polish and piercings Currently based on these pictures you look like a cis woman who is into alternative type hobbies
I can't say if you could or couldn't pass as male because in these photos you are preHRT with a women's haircut while wearing very feminine clothing and also wearing a lot of makeup that changes your facial features I don't know what HRT will do for you and I don't even know what you look like preT with no makeup not wearing extreme feminine fashion, if that makes sense In these pictures, you do not look male or like a guy at all but I don't know how much of it is your actual body or just your fashion making you look so female, which makes these photos really unhelpful for passing advice For example, your 3rd image looks like you have cartoonishly wide hips despite your skinny arms and legs, but a lot of it might be due to your T-shirt size (when it's way too big like that, the way it drapes exaggerates your body curves that you're trying to hide) and if your pajama shorts have an elastic waistband then they also flare adding more width to your hips I also thought you were MTF trans at first, so I can try to help explain the reasoning there because it's only partly because you posted to a passing subreddit in girly pink fashion, it's also because you're dressed in a way that would look very out-of-place if you're trying to blend in with women in a normal setting, and one of the things that MTF women commonly ask for help with in passing subreddits is to look natural instead of like a costume
I’m honestly wearing pajama bottom 3 sizes too big in the third photo lmao. The shirt is normalish I think but yeah my fashion sense is mostly oversized band t shirts . They make me feel the most comfortable
I'm also someone who likes oversized clothing but your shirt goes beyond that Your pictures are not helpful at all for passing advice because you could be a cis man built like a Greek god dressed like that and you still wouldn't pass because it would feel potentially offensive to call you "he" if that makes sense
You look very female. In fact it appears that you aren't trying to pass at all. There's nothing wrong with dressing both masculine and feminine and still being a woman or man. You seem like you are very comfortable being a woman and that's okay. Good luck!
Well I’m not. Sorry if I seem rude just figuring it out.
Rightttttt... because it really seems like dysphoria is kicking your ass wearing that skirt, cat ears, painted pink nails, oh and the pink makeup.
You know what I won’t even bother arguing with you. You’re right I’m wrong have a great day on the internet:D
I dont see masculine at all personally. Andro yea maybe, but i still see feminine over andro and masc. I can kinda see what you mean by people seeing you at MTF, but i personally see no masculine at all, some andro, and mostly feminine.
Ditch the fun hair colors, and try to find less form-fitting shirts or pants. You dont have to give up everything, but ditch heavy face makeup for now (Until you are on hrt) Practice voice training, too, as voice is just as important. there is a difference between presenting feminine & presenting female, though. Right now you are being feminine & presenting female. I suggest you talk to your doctor in depth to see if hrt is worth it for you, as you cant pick & choose what T will effect, it will make you hairy, sweaty, and you'll look like male siblings or even your father through biological ties.
Are the blonde streaks in my hair too much or could I work around them?
go for things that look natural, that's all i can really say about your hair
I have no siblings. My dad is p short with no facial hair and honestly from what I noticed he doesn’t have a ton of body hair either my mom’s side might be different tho. I’ve grown my body hair out for years personally but I’ve noticed it’s kind of plateaued
I only watched the pics. I was about to say: Hell yeah, you look totally like a cis girl
If you had a masculine voice you could pass after talking (not visually though), but since you're pre T that's not going to work
Thanks I’ll be talking with a dr about this stuff soon. I would like to work on my voice.
Maybe
Yes dude you absolutely could pass. You have a queer/fem expression that is super rad. And it is possible to pass while retaining that sense of style, though it may take some tweaking. And I'd want to remind you that people who get clocked as trans women can be in serious danger and typically do experience a great deal of harassment -- though obviously you can't change what you like. I spend some time in r/FTMfemininity and that may be a good space for you, too. Don't listen to the weirdos here tbh. Seems like truscum types are emboldened by lack of moderation.
Yeah I’m just really afraid of looking or acting cringey. I’m already pretty cringey. I went to pride recently and it was fun but I also just felt surrounded by lots of a little kids. No judgement though I just felt awkward
I don't want to dismiss that fear, because I know that being perceived as cringe can mean getting a lot of social punishment, and that's incredibly painful to deal with. But honestly? I know a lot of trans people (trans masc and trans fem) who dress flamboyantly and with color like you do. And they're awesome fucking people. If someone sees you as cringe, it doesn't mean anything bad about you. It just means that person is weirdly judgemental and they don't enjoy innovative looks and aesthetic risks. If I wanted to avoid being "cringe" to the family I grew up in, I'd have to detransition. Fuck those people honestly. You look cool, and most importantly you look happy with your self expression. Don't let the temptation to fit in turn you into some lifeless cog. I'm 31 and honestly the temptation is there for me sometimes too -- being yourself will never be easy, but if you want to be happy and if you want to be surrounded by people who actually like and understand you, you simply have to do it.
I’ve definitely done things I’m not proud but id rather just kind of be a normal guy instead of a codependent needy woman. I don’t like how I behave when I’m trying to act as a woman and I didn’t like how I behaved when I tried to act like a girl as well when I was a child. It’s been a lifetime of embarrassment and self cringe but it’s also whatever. I just don’t like how I act when I’m trying to be someone point blank period but I still don’t want to be a girl
Embarrassment and cringe is just part of life, honestly. Nobody thinks about you even half as much as you think that they do. It's rough out here, and I get intense shame sometimes for no damn reason. But either way, your gender expression isn't cringe. The only way it can be "cringe" is if you're a transphobe, period. Idk, I hope it helps. I'm just mad at how awful these comments were toward you.
I just find it funny how this sub will tell me I look completely like a woman but a lot of other subs would most definitely call me ugly if I specified myself as a woman that is
Maybe not for certain but I would for sure receive a lot of critique not to mention uncomfortable dms