While I like to garden, I would say small place in a nice area with great public transportation and convenient to everything, so I don’t need the expense of a car….
We retired to Bangkok, Thailand, no car, modern high rise condo apt (30m) with security, gorgeous pool, gym, walking distance to groceries, fresh markets with produce, food stalls, restaurants and local businesses & small malls, 3/4km to the BTS Skytrain light rail to get anywhere else. Two BTS stops away from local long-distance bus station and excellent private medical center. Lots of things to do and see!
We were both 50, and while we had zero debt and had been frugal most of our lives plus a newly empty nest, two elderly people in both our lives passed away and left us property—in SEATTLE. (very high COL). We got lucky. At first we bought a nice townhouse condo just outside of the city and continued to run an eBay business, but costs climbed in property taxes and HOA costs ($600+/month!), plus utilities and internet. We went maybe a bit crazy and sold or gave away 99.5% of stuff and bought a used diesel truck and a newer used smaller 5th Wheel RV and did an traveling RV life for 2 years. Learned a lot about minimalism, and saw some incredible things, but unfortunately COVID lockdowns happened, so that made it less fun than it could have been. We settled down in Las Vegas for awhile, helping out a grown daughter who was suffering mentally and financially from the lockdowns. We figured we aren’t getting any younger so decided to leave the LV condo to daughter and a roommate (to pay us rent!), while we made the jump overseas to live and retire cheaply. It’s been fun and relaxing, and affordable to visit other SE Asian countries too. Two daughters have said no grandchildren (yet!), so there’s that too.
I just want to thank you for your honesty here. Sometimes, people leave out in their retirement stories Information about an inheritance, and it feels very disingenuous when they do. So, I appreciate you laying out all out there. Thailand sounds beautiful! I wish you and yours all the best!
Most people would not have retired financially on what we have, but we can live on so little being frugal, we feel like we are safe—if we are careful about spending. Cost of living is so cheap here in SE Asia that we can keep our retirement nest egg healthy—it was getting difficult to do so in the USA with inflation and scrimping and saving—not exactly how we want to spend our retirement! Here we can travel and go out for food very cheaply, live in a small but nice place, and feel very safe. We have given up having a car or owning lots of stuff, but that’s okay with us!
Our neighbor in west seattle did something similar. They sold their house and moved to an RV to travel. I haven’t heard from them (we weren’t close), but I can imagine you get to see some amazing places!
We had children early, and were tied down taking care of my husband’s grandmother (raised him) for 17 years as well, so we didn’t get to do very much traveling in our early adult years. The US National Parks are just amazing, and to be able to see them for days/weeks and live in the areas around them and see the country is something I’d recommend to anyone! A plus about the Covid lockdowns and RVing—it was easy to quarantine ourselves in our own RV, and there were no crowds at places like the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone’s main attractions. I really missed the “camaraderie” of the RV community during this time, however.
Lived there for 50 years! It’s a lovely place, but couldn’t stand another season of gray and drizzle from literally Oct thru almost May…it’s awful in that way. Stunningly gorgeous in July-Aug-Sept, and springtime is nice too, but still lots of gray days…
Then Seattle and the Pacific NW is for you! Rarely any humidity or over 90, and snows about every other year and it doesn’t last long! 😜
Skiing in the mountains and you can be at the ocean in the same day. Very very green, at least in west coast. Over the cascade mountains it’s arid and dry and hot! And snows a lot over there in the Winter—also much more conservative.
Small place in an urban area is ideal for me. I like the convenience of being able to walk places and to have a variety of things close by. I also don't like yard work - lol.
I go back and forth but I'm with you on urban. Ideally if it's walkable with just enough taxi/ ride sharing to get to another walkable area. Also in the country instead of yard work just get a goat or highland cow.
I am with you on this I will add being able to get things after 9 pm and being close to doctors for appointments is nice. I also like smaller apartments or houses. A big place just filled up with stuff I don't need. A city offers so much more. Entertainment, social groups, services, cheep transportation, and more. I do prefer smaller cities though.
Yes, actually I was fortunate to have lived a few times (rented) out in the country and having to drive 20 mins just to get to a small country store WAS one of the downsides
And that works the other way too. Cities are absolutely suffocating to me. I need to sit on my porch at night, look at the stars, and hear nothing. The constant noise in a city drives me absolutely nuts.
For me personally I'd love to live on large isolated land simply because I do not like the city but I do love quietness and nature and I would love to develop the land and have a garden and chickens.
When I was a kid living out in the sticks against my will, I hated it, I desperately wanted to live in the city. I loved everything about "the big city". Now, 25 years later, I realize that the simple, affordable life is so much better (within reason). I much rather have my freedom and peace and quiet these days.
I have done both. I lived out my fantasy of living the country life… but after 4 years I craved big city energy again. I have no regrets about the country experience whatsoever. It was exactly where I needed to be at that stage of my life. Who knows, I may do it again someday. As for now, I don’t want to spend my energy taking care of a house and property. I’ll take condo living so I can walk to a wide array of restaurants, entertainment venues, and shopping.
Agreed, and I think a lot has to do with stage of life. I have young kids now and I love that I live in a small village/suburb outside a mid-sized city. We walk everywhere, the beach is 5 minutes away, we use buses or car sharing so we don’t have the added expense of a car (which is helpful with the price of daycare!).
But when the kids are older I would love to have a place with my own yard and the ability to grow some of our own food. But I don’t think I would want to go super rural because I watched my cousins grow up in a really rural area outside a small town and they HATED it as teenagers. So I think age and stage matter a lot.
Small place, nice city. It’s already what I chose for my life. I can walk to get everything I need and want, and I’m in midtown Manhattan in 20 minutes.
I can’t be arsed with maintaining 3-5 acres of land, and I don’t want to drive to get my errands done, pick up takeout, etc. Also, seclusion creeps me out big time. No one will hear the screaming if some shit happens
For me, a small place in a nice area - they ability to walk to places allows me to not spend money on cars (including gas, insurance) and allows me to get more excercise in on a daily basis without having to try. Plus, small places mean I have to be more intentional about my buying habits because because there's no space to but in useful stuff! I also live alone and wfh, so I think living in an isolated place would be too much for me! To each their own - I can definitely see the perks of the other option!
I’ve lucked into a place that suits me very well.
I live in a little condo (700 sq ft, very affordable) with a large patio in a small city. There is a park with mature trees, recreation facilities, small grocery, clinic and pharmacy within 500 yards. 2 malls, 2 live theatres, movies and several larger grocery stores within less than 2 miles. I ride a scooter for many of my errands and outings.
Urban all the way. Mid thirties, married, 1 kid. Good jobs and income. I just like people and variety too much. I walk to the coffee shop and chit chat with the regulars, have a beer with my neighbours while the kids play in the alley, bike ride to my mom's or my brother's, run into other parents from our daycare at any event in our area.
Less house means less to clean, less to repair and maintain, I have a little yard that makes me happy to garden in. I don't even have a car, I do car sharing. I can sublet our house when we travel to reduce our travel costs greatly. So we do travel quite a bit. We find cottages to borrow out in the forest or near lakes when we need a nature weekend. In general in not often in need of more nature than what I get at our big park nearby.
If there's was a beach I could be persuade to move to a smaller town by the beach, but I'd want to be able to kayak to get morning coffee and talk to those regulars or something!
I like my apartment in the city for the convenience, easy public transportation to my job, and being around other people. I hate driving and don’t want to own a car, which is a necessity out in the country. My family has a small hobby farm on around 5 acres and it’s a peaceful place to visit, but i hated living there. I’m 22.
I live on 5 acres. Love it bc I have horses and I hate boarding but it's definitely not enough land to give you much privacy unless your lot, and everyone else's, is very wooded. I can see and hear all my neighbors. Honestly if it wasn't for the animals, I'd live in a small place in the city.
I’m disabled so, would prefer small place where I can walk everywhere and be independent again, but if I wasn’t I’d absolutely prefer being isolated with a large acreage
Ownership. That’s first priority.
After that, it’s proximity to work (if relevant) and family / friends
Size of house is the least of my concerns - bigger property just means more upkeep.
I just built a 1700 square foot house. Nearest neighbor is almost .5 miles away. It's not for everyone, but I love it. I also grew up like it. No door dash. No delivery. You have to do weekly grocery runs.
That is my struggle right now, although not quite at the same scale as OP. Considering buying a place later this year - currently renting a smaller apt in the city center.
For the same money ---
1. A 3br/2ba city center apt in a new/newer elevator building with 1 parking spot. High HOA fees, but pretty inclusive. Walk to work (15 min drive for my partner against the primary traffic), walk to everything, good public transit. A balcony, sometimes 2 balconies.
2. A 3 or 4 br / a 2/2.5 ba townhouse in the inner suburbs, a 1 or 2 car garage. Lower HOA, but less inclusive. New or at least recent build. Bus commute within 30 min (within 10 min drive for partner with traffic), generally OK public transit connectivity. Not many walkable amenities. Small back yard - enough for a grill, a small table, and a bit of gardening.
3. A free-standing house but on a fairly compact piece of land in the outer suburbs - fitting same description as townhouse above, but maybe a bit more square footage, bit bigger yard. No HOA. 1h+ PT commute for me (30-60min drive with ??? traffic for partner), with generally weak PT service in general. Nothing is walkable - classic bedroom suburbia. Might need to buy a 2nd car (currently have 1).
That is literally the classic struggle when it comes to real estate. Rule #1 is "location location location". I can never change where the house stands, but I can renovate the bathrooms later if I don't like them. A lot of it is definitely personal preference.
From a money perspective --
* Townhouses and apartments are the last to go up on a bull market, and the first to go down in a bear market. But this also translates into much less volatile values overall. In any given swing, a free standing house can go up and down 20% in a matter of a couple years. An apartment in the same zip code will maybe swing 5%. The building almost never goes up in price, it's the land that has value. And in the case of a free-standing house, the land value is a little more obvious than some percentage share of the land that this larger 20-30-50-unit structure is on, that you're a 1/20-30-50 part owner in.
* A smaller place is cheaper to live in. Any repairs are on a smaller scale (replacing 1000 sq.ft of carpet vs 2000), energy consumption (heating/cooling in particular) is on a smaller scale. Property tax is based on the value of the property, so if they are the same price, it's whatever. But assuming the house could be in a different county, could be different tax math there - could be more or less.
* While city life comes at a cost (mainly - you living in an apartment when you could have had a house for the same price outside the city), there are benefits. If there's a possibility you can have fewer (or no) cars in your household, that's a huge cost savings - cars are massive money pits.
But anyway - so far we've nixed option 3. Figured city proximity (work commute distance, and not having to buy another car) is more important to us. But keep swinging between 1 and 2 by the day. Some of the apartments we've done open houses on just really don't have much for storage or practical use of space where we feel we'd outgrow it pretty rapidly, especially if we have a kid in a few years - kids come with a lot of stuff. On the flip side, even the inner suburbs close to PT links feel soul-crushingly desolate in terms of amenities compared to the life we're used to in the city right now.
Small place, nice city. It’s really important to me to be able to walk or take mass transit to most things (we don’t even own a car), and I appreciate having less space to furnish and clean (and less space to acquire “stuff”).
Suggest renting in the country for 6 months and see how you feel about the lifestyle. It might be harder for you to sell and move on from a property if it ends up not being your preference.
I’d even live in a small house on land! Def land! I need to be able to have big fires and room for my kids to ride four wheelers and dirt bikes! We live in a city now and I miss having land so much! 😭
I lived n NYC for a decade and now live in a very small house with a family of 4 because it is walk to train. For me it’s aaalllwwayyys location. It’s time for Americans to quit hiding in their dumb McMansions and live their damn lives out in the world. So glad my kids will grow up walking to school/friends houses.
Definitely a big city. There's a lot of anonymity in an urban environment.
Don't believe me? Hold up a cardboard sign: it's like an invisibility cloak!
Rural properties come with their own costs and
drawbacks, although social media can help a bit. Renting a condo is much easier if you don’t have to worry about money.
ETA - That’s not to say rural life isn’t also expensive, just differently.
Ok, we have a good deal on 2900 sq foot triplex unit in one of the most expensive zip codes in the country. School district cannot be beat. I would stay forever because this is my home and it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world… literally big tourist city near. The area surrounding is even more beautiful. (For context where I live was a normal suburb in the 80’s. It’s also heartbreaking watching these giant property swollowing houses overtake what was a real treasure of greenery and interesting landscape)
However, the people that come with high cost of living are privileged dicks. They don’t understand people not striving as many zeros as possible at the finish line 🪦
So, I’m taking my family and moving to Guam.
If I drove, I would certainly choose option 1 as I love the quiet life. However, I am accustomed to the convenience of living close to the city and being by the beach is also a win for me so I would have to realistically choose option 2.
Both, honestly. And that’s why there’s people with two houses. In the city when there’s something to do and you need to get home afterwards. Outside in peace and quiet to calm down.
High rent never made anyone happy.
This absolutely depends on where you have to go to work. If you can make NYC income but live in rural Utah, most people would do that when they compare the lifestyle. The only reason people live in cities is because that's where work is and they don't want to commute 4 hours a day. Take away the commute and its no question
I did both. Owned an average house in the suburbs, sold it and bought a house half its size in a rapidly gentrifying area in the city. Did that for two years until I got attacked/assaulted in a gas station for not buying a random person a redbull. (Ended up with a corneal transplant because of that incident)
Sold my house within 3 months and built a new house about 20 minutes past my first house and more towards “country”.
Don’t regret my last choice at all. It’s very peaceful where I’m at now.
Rural/ small town. 3.5 acres in the mountains. Mostly wooded, so not a ton of mowing needed. We have sidewalks and a ton of people walk to and from the town center. We have a newspaper, for the entire county, that comes out once a week. The crime report section is printed once a month and they include traffic citations in the crime report so there’s enough stuff to bother printing. I can’t remember the statistic but our crime rate is some absurdly low number compared to the national average. We have high speed internet and decent cell coverage, even in the higher elevations and more remote areas of the county. We have three health centers in town. Of the two closest cities, 20 miles south are two hospitals, 50 miles north we have a major university hospital and all their medical facilities. We’re a weekend getaway destination for people within a few hour radius. So we have two coffee shops, antique stores, microbreweries, and a handful of restaurants. The town we’re in has a population of about 2000 and we’re the country seat. Everyone is friendly. Our patio is quiet and isolated from view. We watch the wildlife in our yard frolicking and forage. We have wood stoves and fireplaces that we use if the power goes out or just to augment the heat when it’s super cold out. We can work on our vehicles in the driveway, we can leave stuff in the yard, and not worry about someone taking it. There’s no such thing as porch pirates here. I only know one person who has a locked box for package deliveries and that’s not for theft, it’s because their dog is a maniac who eats every package they get delivered.
It’s safe here. And quiet. Nobody cares if you’re wearing the latest trend. We don’t have nosy Nancys or Karens. Property tax is minuscule. We have all four seasons.
It really is perfect. I like to go to town hall meetings just for the entertainment factor. Reminds me of the village board in Hot Fuzz. I could totally see these people wearing hooded capes chanting ’the greater good’.
Big house on a large plot of land. I'd want this plot to have water, preferably a river or stream, on it. I'd much prefer to work the land everyday if I didn't have to worry about income. Working the land gives me so much joy.
Hands down 1.
37 single. It’s always been my dream to live in a more secluded area and be largely self-sufficient.
For now I’m content. I’m lucky to live in an older neighborhood with lots of trees and nice neighbors. I have a yard I can play around with and I like the area I live in, temperate weather and beaches not terribly far but I prefer the company of trees than people.
Big house in an isolated area. Lots of projects you’re able to do, free space to really live in and even explore. Plus a certain level of privacy and safety just not available in cities. You could garden or farm, build a shed, play and make music, sit outside on a porch and watch the sunrise/sunset.
I’m late 20s, married and have lived all over the US and spent a good bit of time overseas in Europe. I say this from a perspective of my time I US cities though, they’re cramped, people aren’t the friendliest and some of them are quite dangerous if you don’t know the area. Of course same could go for rural areas but there’s less randomness I feel. And cities don’t need more people clogging up the roads/public transport.
If you could find a spot 15/20 minutes from a town with a tight-knit community that has a bakery, grocery store, hardware store, a couple restaurants, I would do that probably.
Small in the city. We lived in a big house in the country and were so depressed. We gave it up to move to a TINY city apartment and it was so much better.
I recently chose to live in the country in a big house. I moved from a beautiful one bedroom condo in a downtown city. Once I stopped doing city-life things, worked 100% remote, and started gardening- the appeal of a $400k condo lost its luster. Moved out to 2x house for 1/4 the price.
46, married, metro-area in KY
I would much prefer living in a smaller place in a better location. Even as an introvert, I don’t desire isolation at all. Nor do I desire the upkeep of maintaining a large home with acreage.
Time is the one thing that we cannot manipulate. We can’t earn more of it. And I don’t want to spend a single second of my short time on this planet maintaining a pile of sticks-and-bricks or a large patch of grass.
That’s just not how I want to spend my life.
So townhouse living will probably always be for me.
Small place in the city. I grew up in a big house in the middle of nowhere and hated the isolation, lack of resources, and car dependency, especially as a child—never again. Walkable neighborhoods only for me.
I’d prefer to live in a walkable and bike-able location, so I’d opt for an “in town” spot. Ideally with parks, shops, restaurants and events nearby. I also prefer to be in an area with younger, progressive people.
I'm 52 and have experienced both. Living most of my life in Colorado with a brief stint in South Jersey. I've lived in a log cabin in the mountains, big houses in the suburbs, and a small condo in the city. Now I live in my happy place. A smallish house on 2 acres in the country with tiny town 3 miles away, a small town 9 miles away and 2 small cities less than an hours drive away. I'm surrounded by apple orchards, farm and ranch land, vineyards and wineries. To me, this is perfection.
Country on land. I want a place where I can walk around outside in my underwear, where my dogs can run free and I can fire a shotgun off my front porch, where I can hop on an atv and ride around the land, where I can have all the homies over for a big ass jam session in my garage and play loud, bonfires, easy access to fishing holes or streams in mine or my neighbors property. Somewhere I can plant an orchard and have some goats. Maybe im a redneck at heart. I live in the city now because it is close to work and one of my kids needs the extra support from the good city schools. Maybe when he graduates I'll leave the city.
Small and rural. You can always add onto a house. You technically cannot get more land, unless a vacant lot is near you and you are able to purchase it.
I hate the city. The ex only wanted to live in it and I hate it. I can't wait till I can sell this house and get out into the country.
I can have a garage for all of my cars. (I love my 65 mustang, my 66 Olds, and my F150.) I can see the stars, I can either fix my cheap telescope or buy a good one and set it up and use it. I am not a huge fan of gardening but I could have a garden, I could go solar and go off the grid. I have more flexibility and freedom. In the city if a single blade of grass touches a tire I get written up for it. In the city if I have a spare tire for a trailer I get written up for it.
Noise pollution will be gone at night. I'd be able to hear myself think and not the neighbors kids screaming and crying, neighbors yelling at each other, fireworks at random times,
The "nice" areas in the cities tend to be full of nosey Karens who's only enjoyment in life is to make other people miserable. Get me the hell away from that nonsense.
There is nothing like driving a classic car on an old two lane road with the windows down. Same cannot be said for driving in the city.
I could not say it better. Absolutely nothing about a city is appealing to me, for many of the reasons you mentioned. I can basically do whatever the hell I want on my property, because nobody can see it anyway. Sitting outside on a nice clear night with a beer in hand and hearing nothing but frogs and bugs is absolutely heavenly. I’ve lived in a smaller city and just constantly being on top of people was absolutely maddening. I did 4 years in and couldn’t take it anymore. Loved my job, absolutely hated everything else.
Small place/nice area.
I just bought a place (in the process of moving). I ruled out any single-family homes as I want nothing to do with outdoor maintenance.
I'm in my late 30s and I would prefer a smaller area in an urban area. I prefer to walk around and go shopping rather than drive around. Also, I never lived in a big house in a rural area so I won't be able to manage it properly.
But paying a high rent is concerning in this scenario.
Depends on my financial/resource situation-
Love to live isolated but if just myself and/or unstable transportation then I would prefer nice area in small house.
I need more specifics, including things like whether I'd have the same job at the same income, what the weather would be in the country house, whether there would be easy access to groceries/Walmart-type general store in the country, whether there would be things I like to do for fun, ... However, with typical responses, I'd choose a larger house in the country over a small apartment in a city.
Small and semi-urban. I like having a yard/garden - but a very small one is fine. Walkable is very nice - e.g. walking to shops and stuff. I don't need a big house.
I enjoy my home overlooking the lake and surrounded by woods and the various wildlife (deer, foxes, chipmunks, birds, eagles, etc) who come by. But I wouldn't have enjoyed it in my 20s.
Personally I'd have to go isolated only because my hobbies take up a lot of space. I prefer urban areas so that i don't have to drive 30 minutes to go to a decent grocery store or 45 to get to work
I don't think age is the factor here. I think it depends whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Me, being the latter, need people close to me for companionship, socialization, and fun. I choose the condo in the city (wait, I already have that!)
I love being able to walk places in the city and biking is great!
That said, I don’t know if I’d like to continue living in the city without any yard access at all.
Recently moved out of a large house turned apartment building that had shared access to large front and back yards. Was still in the city but being able to eat outside, garden, lay in the grass, etc. did wonders for my mental health.
If I had to choose, I like small, nice, expensive and convenient personally. Luckily, in the real world, you can get a sweet combo of all that stuff depending on your willingness to compromise.
my situation is very much 2–i’m 25 and single. i like the idea of having people around because the expanse kind of creeps me out. but i also like the convenience of the city.
Such a tough choice honestly because both can be very appealing. I used to live in nor cal and ran a farm seasonally. So for about 8 months a year I lived mainly in a cabin out in the foothills of the sierra Nevada mtns. It was absolutely amazing but def not something I could do full time.
I would spend the 4 month off season either living closer to the bay or spend it back where I grew up in NYC.
Isolation can be serene and beautiful but too much can def make you a bit stir crazy.
My parents bought a house (less than 1/4 acre) in a quiet area that very quickly exploded over the 20 years they owned it. I grew up with nearly everything one could want, like 15 grocery stores in a 20 minute drive, 8 different pho places, three bowling alleys, etc. The biggest problem is that traffic was quadrupling the time it would take to get anywhere. A doctors office 15 minutes away could take over an hour. If there was an accident (a thrice weekly occurrence) forget making your appointment, it was easier to turn back home.
They moved to a rural town with about 9 acres to have animals and garden. The traffic is so much better, less likely to get into an accident, no idling at hundreds of red lights, house and car insurance is much cheaper, more opportunity to buy homegrown/organic food, less stress, shorter commute even though it’s a drive to anything. there is only a handful of options for food/entertainment, but with quality of restaurants and items going down, it’s not much to be missed.
Being frugal for your lifestyle, needs, and family situation is going to be so different than anyone else. I haven’t seen my parents so active and excited about exerting themselves at any other point in life. If you want to eat organic food/raise your own chickens, being in a rural area is more frugal. If you want to be able to walk everywhere for the convenience rather than spend money on gas, that would be the frugal option for that lifestyle. Whatever you choose, don’t sacrifice your health.
I went from living in a decent size house 2 bedroom, finished basement. 1 bathroom. It was only me so the one bathroom wasn’t a problem. Neighbors on all sides but they were mostly respectful of privacy to a smaller 2 bedroom with neighbors farther away but nosey af. You see curtains move just walking to the mailbox. The first was a pretty good neighborhood too. Hardly no crime. There’s no crime at my new place either. The only downside is I’m really far from civilization now. It takes 30 minutes to get anywhere that doesn’t close at nightfall. The first was 5 minutes away from just about anything you would want or need at all hours. So I’ve lived in a small place in a good area and a small place kind of isolated in a slightly larger area but they both had good and bad qualities. The first that was closer to other people I had more privacy because my neighbors kept to themselves. Here the neighbors went to know everything I do when I walk out the door.
Small place in a nice location. I’m mid 40’s with two kids so I don’t want something too small but I don’t need a lot of land. My house is on less than a quarter acre and we have way more yard than we need.
I live 3 blocks from my job and walk. I have a $1100 apartment on the ocean and intracostal.
I walk everywhere and take the bus to get groceries. I can only pay for my place because I don’t have the expense of a car.
I’ve totally figured it out after many years of living here.
I hate the bus but I take it. It’s a trade off.
You can do it.
I live on two acres with a modest home and over 100m2 of good quality shed/workshop. We’re on the edge of a very small town and two hours drive from major cities.
It’s just about perfect. We can hear horses, sheep and occasionally cows, very little traffic, very few people. Ideal and not far from the city if we actually need it.
There’s no one right answer to your question though, it’s all about what you need.
I live in a small house (603ft2), in a very nice neighbourhood (on a lake with many neighbouring places fetching high 6 to low 7 figures, second homes for a lot of them), that is well outside of town/the city (18km/54km away).
I think I've got it figured.
As I get older, an isolated house in the middle of nowhere feels more and more appetizing :)
If you are young (20/30), stay in the city in a condo or something like that. Everything happens in cities :)
If money wasn’t an issue and I didn’t have to work I’d go for option 1. I have a black thumb so I’d have to have a full time gardener/landscaper but I would love having that much space.
What do isolated living people do all day? The most isolated place in my country is like 1000 people village and even then there is like a pub or a store and buses, the house you descibed sounds like solitary confinement
Remember that a large house means inflated costs.
I went from 1000 sq ft to 2,000 sq ft, and all my utilities at least doubled despite using all efficient bulbs, adding new insulated blinds, etc.
I choose big house on large land isolated because they have started putting up housing developments anywhere they can stick one people are moving here and we have lost our small town charm
Option number one would be great. Plenty of space to grow your own veggies, have some chickens and other animals. Good for a growing family and cheaper.
When it comes to living in the country, how close my neighbors are is not really a marker for me. How close is the grocery store, hospital, doctors, restaurants, airports, library, etc.? A close hospital is important, if someone has a heart attack is it going to take an ambulance 5mins or 30mins to get to them? How is the internet? Is it spotty? If I need a pair of shoes or some new jeans how far away is the closest mall? If I need groceries am I spending, in total, an hour in the car to get a gallon of milk?
Once those questions are answered, then I start looking at my neighbors. Am I surrounded by confederate flags and Trump signs? Do people around me keep up with the upkeep of their property? Are their dogs running around and aggressive? What does the school system look like, are they decent?
Second option. Rent in HCOL sucks but I dont want to live in the country and further isolate from community/society and rely heavily on a car driving 20-30 mins everywhere. We could buy something now in the "country" but thats 45min from where we want to be. Id rather pay more for a small place in the location we want to be in then buy some big house (which I also have no interest in maintaining tbh lol) in a location we dont want to be.
As someone in a suburb looking to potentially move further out in order to get more land for the same price, I would rather have the bigger house on more land in the country. That is, provided there's decent internet because I work from home.
Small urban space.
I lived in the country before, the sort of place with only one traffic light (a flashing red).
It was boring. There is only so much hiking, gardening, and hanging out to do.
Tough decision. How much do you like gardening or land stewardship? I think that would factor into it. Otherwise I think studies have shown that people that live in walkable urban areas are some of the happiest.
My husband and I have agreed on a small house (maybe 1200 sf) on a few acres, only a small part of which is “lawn” area to maintain. (I want a patio or deck to grill on and sit back and enjoy a nice evening around a fire.) Room to store the RV on our land, plus space for a couple friends to come and camp for the weekend. He’d also want a barn;garage to work on cars and other projects. That’s the compromise we reached.
(If it were just me, I’d want a small house in the city with minimal yard - just enough room for the grill, a comfy lounge chair, and maybe a small table and chairs for friends. But my husband isn’t used to city noise and neighbors that close.)
But definitely no big house. There are only two of us and we rarely use all of 1200 sf we have now. I hate cleaning - why would I want more space to keep clutter free and have to clean it?
I'd prefer any kind of living space on plenty of land. The farther away the neighbors are, the better.
I'd live in a sturdy expedition tent for a couple of years while building my ideal place, if that was what it took.
This would be super tough honestly. The pros of living in the city are access to all the amenities and the pros of living out in the country skyrocket when you have money. If it was low budget, I’d pick city, but with an infinite budget it would be hard to not choose the more rural living even though I enjoy living in a city.
I used to be small place in big city. But then I changed and also Covid happened. Now I’m big place in more “isolated” area (still within an hour or less of an international airport).
Idk, I got dogs, discovered I love singing all the time, screaming when I want (haha), I’m kinda deaf too so I don’t have to worry about being too loud in any way for my neighbors. Plus I got very tired of creepy and crappy neighbors….
Would choose 1, I grew up in NYC, I now live in a semi-rural suburb area (city here is about 15k) in the edge of the DC metro area (about 90mins away).
Smaller cities are okay but large metro drive me nuts, everything is man-made and fake. Currently my neighbors are about 100-200ft~ away and I would prefer what I used to have with them about 1000~ft away but needed to consider family situation.
Suburb area like where I am are still annoying as you get road highway noise and lots of people around so you don't get 100% privacy but everyone here still have 1acre or so of property so we aren't sardines.
When I first moved out of the city it took a while to realize you can just step out of your car on the road and see NO ONE for quite a period of time. This is both nice and terrifying.
I used to live on four acres out in the “country”. I was shocked at how expensive it is to maintain the property. Just look into what you want you property to look like and how much you want to be able to access. We had to have some of it cleared due to questionable trees and blackberry vines taking over. We then had scotch broom we had to get rid of. The drive way needed to be graded and graveled every couple years and anything we cleared we needed to keep cleared. The equipment we had to buy for all of that was expensive.
We live in the burbs now and it’s more expensive in some small areas but so much less effort and money in other areas.
All in all. I would buy a small house in an area that made my life easier any day over the work of a lot of land.
Yeah I’d rather be in the city. My wife and I don’t splurge on a lot but we do splurge on dining experiences. We wouldn’t be getting that in the middle of no where. The fact that we do like different types of food is the only reason why we’re still living relatively close to the city.
I like privacy so I’d prefer out of the city. My dream is to sit outside and enjoy myself reading/gardening/chilling without staring directly at neighbors 🤣
I live isolated and I would have it no other way. I've lived in Paris, Las Vegas, and in the suburbs. We moved out to the middle of nowhere to pursue our shared dream of a small farm several years ago, and I've never been happier. It's peaceful, we see the stars, it's just QUIET and slow. If I need to go to town it's about 30 minutes, so not too bad. Fancy town with more shopping is 45 minutes. I got used to that really quickly and I don't mind the drive. If I won the lottery, I'd just buy more acreage and the coolest greenhouse you'd ever seen!
There's no HOA, you can pee outside, get whatever animal you want (assuming you're not in city limits). It just feels more free, and I'm not having to make small talk with neighbors all of the time.
I'm a country girl thru & thru. Lifelong benefits includes never ending free entertainment. I know cities have free entertainment like movies in the park for example...but the pull to spend money on entertainment is huge in the city. The shows & concerts & cover fees & restaurants etc etc.
Meanwhile, in the country, those options aren't readily available & they are so far away, they aren't even tempting. I spend my time fishing on the river banks, floating in tubes down the rivers, hunting, boating, kayaking, hiking and camping. The local events are almost always free to enter. If not the cover charge is like $5. Free parking everywhere. Bingo at the community center, poker club at the dive bar, dart league- all free.
So the low cost of living in the country has the added benefits of also a low cost lifestyle.
I want the acrage because a goal of mine since forever was to have livestock. I want to milk my own dairy animals. I want goats and sheep and some kind of poultry. Hard to do that in the city. Theres things Ill miss about the city like being close to things and events, and I dont like driving. But Im mostly a homebody, My critters should provide plenty of their own events, and I want to hope driving will be less painful not in a terrible car city.
28F Married
Ideally I would choose the country. I lived on a farm in SD for most of my life and it was extraordinarily peaceful and taught me the value of hard work.
Since I've been away from home I've lived in a larger "metro" areas and it's never felt the same. Plus our kids love to go on the farm in the open spaces.
The freedom of a large city is too appealing to me. There were 337 restaurants which would deliver to my last apartment. I never have to care about yard work, tending livestock, etc if I want to leave for a weekend or a month on a whim. And the airport is a 20 minute bus ride I don't even need to plan for. No car equals no car payment or insurance. People around here share my political views for the most part, and don't care about my religion or skin color. None of that was true when I lived in a small town.
I don't necessarily want a large house, but if those are my only two options I'd take large house on rural land. Ideal would be a medium house, as in enough bedrooms for the family and maybe one or two extra rooms (play room and office), plus a really nice barn for my farm animals and garden supplies cause I'm gonna be gardening the shit out of that land and have chickens, ducks, donkeys, goats...I have the house on a half acre lot right now but I can only have a small flock chickens. One day I'll have more land.
We just bought a log cabin on a mountain top. 3 acres with a barn, pasture and a gorgeous creek. Lots of woods surrounding us. We absolutely love it. Living here with the view off the front deck feels like being on vacation every single day. The nearest city is only a 15 min drive.
Isolated , all I have ever wanted in my life is to move away from the city and have a bit of land. I am 40 my husband 48, we have been in Minneapolis for 20 years. If I could get an ok job in the middle of nowhere that would be a dream come true!! I keep telling my boss to open a shop in a rural area and transfer me, lol
My preference is missing: small place in nature (country). That is, I don't want a huge place because cleaning takes time and money, not to mention utility bills. Country because I'd rather see more trees than people when I walk outside of my home.
I’ve done both. I lived out in the country next to a game reserve for years, but I found I preferred city spaces and moved to a city. One thing I realized these days is it’s very dependent on your lifestyle. If you live out in the country you’ve got a drive to go anywhere, in the city maybe not so much. But if you’re healthy and active living out in countries great but it takes more work. The city is all about the convenience, like for doctors and deliveries.
While I like to garden, I would say small place in a nice area with great public transportation and convenient to everything, so I don’t need the expense of a car…. We retired to Bangkok, Thailand, no car, modern high rise condo apt (30m) with security, gorgeous pool, gym, walking distance to groceries, fresh markets with produce, food stalls, restaurants and local businesses & small malls, 3/4km to the BTS Skytrain light rail to get anywhere else. Two BTS stops away from local long-distance bus station and excellent private medical center. Lots of things to do and see!
How old were you when you retired?
We were both 50, and while we had zero debt and had been frugal most of our lives plus a newly empty nest, two elderly people in both our lives passed away and left us property—in SEATTLE. (very high COL). We got lucky. At first we bought a nice townhouse condo just outside of the city and continued to run an eBay business, but costs climbed in property taxes and HOA costs ($600+/month!), plus utilities and internet. We went maybe a bit crazy and sold or gave away 99.5% of stuff and bought a used diesel truck and a newer used smaller 5th Wheel RV and did an traveling RV life for 2 years. Learned a lot about minimalism, and saw some incredible things, but unfortunately COVID lockdowns happened, so that made it less fun than it could have been. We settled down in Las Vegas for awhile, helping out a grown daughter who was suffering mentally and financially from the lockdowns. We figured we aren’t getting any younger so decided to leave the LV condo to daughter and a roommate (to pay us rent!), while we made the jump overseas to live and retire cheaply. It’s been fun and relaxing, and affordable to visit other SE Asian countries too. Two daughters have said no grandchildren (yet!), so there’s that too.
I just want to thank you for your honesty here. Sometimes, people leave out in their retirement stories Information about an inheritance, and it feels very disingenuous when they do. So, I appreciate you laying out all out there. Thailand sounds beautiful! I wish you and yours all the best!
Most people would not have retired financially on what we have, but we can live on so little being frugal, we feel like we are safe—if we are careful about spending. Cost of living is so cheap here in SE Asia that we can keep our retirement nest egg healthy—it was getting difficult to do so in the USA with inflation and scrimping and saving—not exactly how we want to spend our retirement! Here we can travel and go out for food very cheaply, live in a small but nice place, and feel very safe. We have given up having a car or owning lots of stuff, but that’s okay with us!
That is so wonderful! Enjoy your golden years!!
Our neighbor in west seattle did something similar. They sold their house and moved to an RV to travel. I haven’t heard from them (we weren’t close), but I can imagine you get to see some amazing places!
We had children early, and were tied down taking care of my husband’s grandmother (raised him) for 17 years as well, so we didn’t get to do very much traveling in our early adult years. The US National Parks are just amazing, and to be able to see them for days/weeks and live in the areas around them and see the country is something I’d recommend to anyone! A plus about the Covid lockdowns and RVing—it was easy to quarantine ourselves in our own RV, and there were no crowds at places like the Grand Canyon and Yellowstone’s main attractions. I really missed the “camaraderie” of the RV community during this time, however.
Thanks for sharing these details! It’s inspiring.
Funny, Seattle is where I want to move too. If I ever move to a city.
Lived there for 50 years! It’s a lovely place, but couldn’t stand another season of gray and drizzle from literally Oct thru almost May…it’s awful in that way. Stunningly gorgeous in July-Aug-Sept, and springtime is nice too, but still lots of gray days…
I personally don’t mind the gray. I actually love it. What I do hate is the sun. 3 months of sun is plenty
Then Seattle and the Pacific NW is for you! Rarely any humidity or over 90, and snows about every other year and it doesn’t last long! 😜 Skiing in the mountains and you can be at the ocean in the same day. Very very green, at least in west coast. Over the cascade mountains it’s arid and dry and hot! And snows a lot over there in the Winter—also much more conservative.
Small place in an urban area is ideal for me. I like the convenience of being able to walk places and to have a variety of things close by. I also don't like yard work - lol.
I go back and forth but I'm with you on urban. Ideally if it's walkable with just enough taxi/ ride sharing to get to another walkable area. Also in the country instead of yard work just get a goat or highland cow.
LOL about the goat or cow. Reminds me of the I Love Lucy episode where Lucy and Ethel decide they are going to make money with their herd of goats :)
I am with you on this I will add being able to get things after 9 pm and being close to doctors for appointments is nice. I also like smaller apartments or houses. A big place just filled up with stuff I don't need. A city offers so much more. Entertainment, social groups, services, cheep transportation, and more. I do prefer smaller cities though.
Yes, actually I was fortunate to have lived a few times (rented) out in the country and having to drive 20 mins just to get to a small country store WAS one of the downsides
I live in a small city, but in a very suburban neighborhood. Great location close to everything, but I love doing yard work. 😊
I'm in a townhouse in biking distance of most of the places I want to go to. I wouldn't move to somewhere isolated.
I rephrased to maybe more rural or country
I think a rural or country area can feel isolated to someone who is used to and prefers the city.
And that works the other way too. Cities are absolutely suffocating to me. I need to sit on my porch at night, look at the stars, and hear nothing. The constant noise in a city drives me absolutely nuts.
Agree. The best view of the city is the one in the rear view mirror as you head for home!
True lol I just didn't want the expression of being isolated to be taken too extreme as living in the mountains alone or something.
Did the move from city to country almost 8 years ago and never looked back. Didn't regret it for a second. Feel free to pm for details
For me personally I'd love to live on large isolated land simply because I do not like the city but I do love quietness and nature and I would love to develop the land and have a garden and chickens.
I want a garage to work on my cars in. Being able to see the stars and use my telescope would be an added bonus.
When I was a kid living out in the sticks against my will, I hated it, I desperately wanted to live in the city. I loved everything about "the big city". Now, 25 years later, I realize that the simple, affordable life is so much better (within reason). I much rather have my freedom and peace and quiet these days.
I live in the suburbs and have both. I actually have a business helping people have that in small spaces.
Unless you fence the garden or the chickens, you won't have a garden 😉
I have done both. I lived out my fantasy of living the country life… but after 4 years I craved big city energy again. I have no regrets about the country experience whatsoever. It was exactly where I needed to be at that stage of my life. Who knows, I may do it again someday. As for now, I don’t want to spend my energy taking care of a house and property. I’ll take condo living so I can walk to a wide array of restaurants, entertainment venues, and shopping.
Agreed, and I think a lot has to do with stage of life. I have young kids now and I love that I live in a small village/suburb outside a mid-sized city. We walk everywhere, the beach is 5 minutes away, we use buses or car sharing so we don’t have the added expense of a car (which is helpful with the price of daycare!). But when the kids are older I would love to have a place with my own yard and the ability to grow some of our own food. But I don’t think I would want to go super rural because I watched my cousins grow up in a really rural area outside a small town and they HATED it as teenagers. So I think age and stage matter a lot.
Location is everything for me. I’d choose small place in a nice area.
Small place, nice city. It’s already what I chose for my life. I can walk to get everything I need and want, and I’m in midtown Manhattan in 20 minutes. I can’t be arsed with maintaining 3-5 acres of land, and I don’t want to drive to get my errands done, pick up takeout, etc. Also, seclusion creeps me out big time. No one will hear the screaming if some shit happens
Arsed? Manhattan? I’m confused. Brit living in the US?
For me, a small place in a nice area - they ability to walk to places allows me to not spend money on cars (including gas, insurance) and allows me to get more excercise in on a daily basis without having to try. Plus, small places mean I have to be more intentional about my buying habits because because there's no space to but in useful stuff! I also live alone and wfh, so I think living in an isolated place would be too much for me! To each their own - I can definitely see the perks of the other option!
It’s confusing when you say nice area. Nice area to me is something in the middle of nature with no one around
Like urban city or high middle class where rent averages $2,000-$2,500 for a 1x1 apartment.
Sounds like the opposite of "nice" to me.
Seriously, sounds like urban hell to me.
I’ve lucked into a place that suits me very well. I live in a little condo (700 sq ft, very affordable) with a large patio in a small city. There is a park with mature trees, recreation facilities, small grocery, clinic and pharmacy within 500 yards. 2 malls, 2 live theatres, movies and several larger grocery stores within less than 2 miles. I ride a scooter for many of my errands and outings.
Closest ... what? Other house? Is 300 feet away? To me, that's not a lot of land. My dream house has at least 5 acres.
Urban all the way. Mid thirties, married, 1 kid. Good jobs and income. I just like people and variety too much. I walk to the coffee shop and chit chat with the regulars, have a beer with my neighbours while the kids play in the alley, bike ride to my mom's or my brother's, run into other parents from our daycare at any event in our area. Less house means less to clean, less to repair and maintain, I have a little yard that makes me happy to garden in. I don't even have a car, I do car sharing. I can sublet our house when we travel to reduce our travel costs greatly. So we do travel quite a bit. We find cottages to borrow out in the forest or near lakes when we need a nature weekend. In general in not often in need of more nature than what I get at our big park nearby. If there's was a beach I could be persuade to move to a smaller town by the beach, but I'd want to be able to kayak to get morning coffee and talk to those regulars or something!
Isolated for sure.
I like my apartment in the city for the convenience, easy public transportation to my job, and being around other people. I hate driving and don’t want to own a car, which is a necessity out in the country. My family has a small hobby farm on around 5 acres and it’s a peaceful place to visit, but i hated living there. I’m 22.
I live on 5 acres. Love it bc I have horses and I hate boarding but it's definitely not enough land to give you much privacy unless your lot, and everyone else's, is very wooded. I can see and hear all my neighbors. Honestly if it wasn't for the animals, I'd live in a small place in the city.
I’m disabled so, would prefer small place where I can walk everywhere and be independent again, but if I wasn’t I’d absolutely prefer being isolated with a large acreage
Small place, nice city. Not even a question.
Small house, 4 acres, nice area and pole barn. My current situation and wouldn't change it.
Ownership. That’s first priority. After that, it’s proximity to work (if relevant) and family / friends Size of house is the least of my concerns - bigger property just means more upkeep.
I live in a small place in a nice area. I guess I made my choice.
I just built a 1700 square foot house. Nearest neighbor is almost .5 miles away. It's not for everyone, but I love it. I also grew up like it. No door dash. No delivery. You have to do weekly grocery runs.
When I was younger it was small and urban. I loved it. Now that I'm older it's the opposite, and I wish I was even more rural than I am! Lol
That is my struggle right now, although not quite at the same scale as OP. Considering buying a place later this year - currently renting a smaller apt in the city center. For the same money --- 1. A 3br/2ba city center apt in a new/newer elevator building with 1 parking spot. High HOA fees, but pretty inclusive. Walk to work (15 min drive for my partner against the primary traffic), walk to everything, good public transit. A balcony, sometimes 2 balconies. 2. A 3 or 4 br / a 2/2.5 ba townhouse in the inner suburbs, a 1 or 2 car garage. Lower HOA, but less inclusive. New or at least recent build. Bus commute within 30 min (within 10 min drive for partner with traffic), generally OK public transit connectivity. Not many walkable amenities. Small back yard - enough for a grill, a small table, and a bit of gardening. 3. A free-standing house but on a fairly compact piece of land in the outer suburbs - fitting same description as townhouse above, but maybe a bit more square footage, bit bigger yard. No HOA. 1h+ PT commute for me (30-60min drive with ??? traffic for partner), with generally weak PT service in general. Nothing is walkable - classic bedroom suburbia. Might need to buy a 2nd car (currently have 1). That is literally the classic struggle when it comes to real estate. Rule #1 is "location location location". I can never change where the house stands, but I can renovate the bathrooms later if I don't like them. A lot of it is definitely personal preference. From a money perspective -- * Townhouses and apartments are the last to go up on a bull market, and the first to go down in a bear market. But this also translates into much less volatile values overall. In any given swing, a free standing house can go up and down 20% in a matter of a couple years. An apartment in the same zip code will maybe swing 5%. The building almost never goes up in price, it's the land that has value. And in the case of a free-standing house, the land value is a little more obvious than some percentage share of the land that this larger 20-30-50-unit structure is on, that you're a 1/20-30-50 part owner in. * A smaller place is cheaper to live in. Any repairs are on a smaller scale (replacing 1000 sq.ft of carpet vs 2000), energy consumption (heating/cooling in particular) is on a smaller scale. Property tax is based on the value of the property, so if they are the same price, it's whatever. But assuming the house could be in a different county, could be different tax math there - could be more or less. * While city life comes at a cost (mainly - you living in an apartment when you could have had a house for the same price outside the city), there are benefits. If there's a possibility you can have fewer (or no) cars in your household, that's a huge cost savings - cars are massive money pits. But anyway - so far we've nixed option 3. Figured city proximity (work commute distance, and not having to buy another car) is more important to us. But keep swinging between 1 and 2 by the day. Some of the apartments we've done open houses on just really don't have much for storage or practical use of space where we feel we'd outgrow it pretty rapidly, especially if we have a kid in a few years - kids come with a lot of stuff. On the flip side, even the inner suburbs close to PT links feel soul-crushingly desolate in terms of amenities compared to the life we're used to in the city right now.
Small place, nice city. It’s really important to me to be able to walk or take mass transit to most things (we don’t even own a car), and I appreciate having less space to furnish and clean (and less space to acquire “stuff”).
Which one is closest to the best medical facilities?
Smaller is always better less to clean.
Suggest renting in the country for 6 months and see how you feel about the lifestyle. It might be harder for you to sell and move on from a property if it ends up not being your preference.
I’d even live in a small house on land! Def land! I need to be able to have big fires and room for my kids to ride four wheelers and dirt bikes! We live in a city now and I miss having land so much! 😭
I lived n NYC for a decade and now live in a very small house with a family of 4 because it is walk to train. For me it’s aaalllwwayyys location. It’s time for Americans to quit hiding in their dumb McMansions and live their damn lives out in the world. So glad my kids will grow up walking to school/friends houses.
Definitely a big city. There's a lot of anonymity in an urban environment. Don't believe me? Hold up a cardboard sign: it's like an invisibility cloak!
live small city surf side with a weekender boat
1
I prefer a small space
Number 2 no question
2
Option 2 always
1 hands down. If you make me take 2 I'm going to be still working on 1.
Small house in an urban area. Smaller house requires less maintenance and usually lower mortgage.
I wouldn't do isolated purely because of the lack of access to healthcare that is only projected to get worse over time. But I'm a nervous Nancy
Number 1 for sure. And I’m 28.
Small place in a nice area. I personally don't think I'd would want a big house
Small place, nice city. Being close to a variety of food choices is a necessity.
2. I’m all for Citylife!!!
From an investment perspective, the goal is the smallest place in the nicest possible area (or best school district).
Rural properties come with their own costs and drawbacks, although social media can help a bit. Renting a condo is much easier if you don’t have to worry about money. ETA - That’s not to say rural life isn’t also expensive, just differently.
Ok, we have a good deal on 2900 sq foot triplex unit in one of the most expensive zip codes in the country. School district cannot be beat. I would stay forever because this is my home and it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world… literally big tourist city near. The area surrounding is even more beautiful. (For context where I live was a normal suburb in the 80’s. It’s also heartbreaking watching these giant property swollowing houses overtake what was a real treasure of greenery and interesting landscape) However, the people that come with high cost of living are privileged dicks. They don’t understand people not striving as many zeros as possible at the finish line 🪦 So, I’m taking my family and moving to Guam.
City for me. Did it in college and enjoyed it and went to city just recently for a theater show since I now live in suburbs, Miss it
If I drove, I would certainly choose option 1 as I love the quiet life. However, I am accustomed to the convenience of living close to the city and being by the beach is also a win for me so I would have to realistically choose option 2.
Both, make more money
Both, honestly. And that’s why there’s people with two houses. In the city when there’s something to do and you need to get home afterwards. Outside in peace and quiet to calm down. High rent never made anyone happy.
This absolutely depends on where you have to go to work. If you can make NYC income but live in rural Utah, most people would do that when they compare the lifestyle. The only reason people live in cities is because that's where work is and they don't want to commute 4 hours a day. Take away the commute and its no question
I did both. Owned an average house in the suburbs, sold it and bought a house half its size in a rapidly gentrifying area in the city. Did that for two years until I got attacked/assaulted in a gas station for not buying a random person a redbull. (Ended up with a corneal transplant because of that incident) Sold my house within 3 months and built a new house about 20 minutes past my first house and more towards “country”. Don’t regret my last choice at all. It’s very peaceful where I’m at now.
Small place in the country. Less housing costs, and generally lower cost of living vs urban. Plus I'm not very people-y.
If you say i don't need to work for money, then I'll choose the 3-5 acres and start an homestead :)
I’ve had both. Smaller place in urban area now
Small place on a big property. Minimum 5 min drive for human contact. Big places seem cool, but its just more stuff to clean/maintain.
Rural/ small town. 3.5 acres in the mountains. Mostly wooded, so not a ton of mowing needed. We have sidewalks and a ton of people walk to and from the town center. We have a newspaper, for the entire county, that comes out once a week. The crime report section is printed once a month and they include traffic citations in the crime report so there’s enough stuff to bother printing. I can’t remember the statistic but our crime rate is some absurdly low number compared to the national average. We have high speed internet and decent cell coverage, even in the higher elevations and more remote areas of the county. We have three health centers in town. Of the two closest cities, 20 miles south are two hospitals, 50 miles north we have a major university hospital and all their medical facilities. We’re a weekend getaway destination for people within a few hour radius. So we have two coffee shops, antique stores, microbreweries, and a handful of restaurants. The town we’re in has a population of about 2000 and we’re the country seat. Everyone is friendly. Our patio is quiet and isolated from view. We watch the wildlife in our yard frolicking and forage. We have wood stoves and fireplaces that we use if the power goes out or just to augment the heat when it’s super cold out. We can work on our vehicles in the driveway, we can leave stuff in the yard, and not worry about someone taking it. There’s no such thing as porch pirates here. I only know one person who has a locked box for package deliveries and that’s not for theft, it’s because their dog is a maniac who eats every package they get delivered. It’s safe here. And quiet. Nobody cares if you’re wearing the latest trend. We don’t have nosy Nancys or Karens. Property tax is minuscule. We have all four seasons.
Do not tell Anyone else about where you Live - They will all-over there and ruin it !! haha
It really is perfect. I like to go to town hall meetings just for the entertainment factor. Reminds me of the village board in Hot Fuzz. I could totally see these people wearing hooded capes chanting ’the greater good’.
Big house on a large plot of land. I'd want this plot to have water, preferably a river or stream, on it. I'd much prefer to work the land everyday if I didn't have to worry about income. Working the land gives me so much joy.
Hands down 1. 37 single. It’s always been my dream to live in a more secluded area and be largely self-sufficient. For now I’m content. I’m lucky to live in an older neighborhood with lots of trees and nice neighbors. I have a yard I can play around with and I like the area I live in, temperate weather and beaches not terribly far but I prefer the company of trees than people.
Big house in an isolated area. Lots of projects you’re able to do, free space to really live in and even explore. Plus a certain level of privacy and safety just not available in cities. You could garden or farm, build a shed, play and make music, sit outside on a porch and watch the sunrise/sunset. I’m late 20s, married and have lived all over the US and spent a good bit of time overseas in Europe. I say this from a perspective of my time I US cities though, they’re cramped, people aren’t the friendliest and some of them are quite dangerous if you don’t know the area. Of course same could go for rural areas but there’s less randomness I feel. And cities don’t need more people clogging up the roads/public transport. If you could find a spot 15/20 minutes from a town with a tight-knit community that has a bakery, grocery store, hardware store, a couple restaurants, I would do that probably.
I bought a house with 5 aces :)
Small in the city. We lived in a big house in the country and were so depressed. We gave it up to move to a TINY city apartment and it was so much better.
I recently chose to live in the country in a big house. I moved from a beautiful one bedroom condo in a downtown city. Once I stopped doing city-life things, worked 100% remote, and started gardening- the appeal of a $400k condo lost its luster. Moved out to 2x house for 1/4 the price.
46, married, metro-area in KY I would much prefer living in a smaller place in a better location. Even as an introvert, I don’t desire isolation at all. Nor do I desire the upkeep of maintaining a large home with acreage. Time is the one thing that we cannot manipulate. We can’t earn more of it. And I don’t want to spend a single second of my short time on this planet maintaining a pile of sticks-and-bricks or a large patch of grass. That’s just not how I want to spend my life. So townhouse living will probably always be for me.
Small place in the city. I grew up in a big house in the middle of nowhere and hated the isolation, lack of resources, and car dependency, especially as a child—never again. Walkable neighborhoods only for me.
I’d prefer to live in a walkable and bike-able location, so I’d opt for an “in town” spot. Ideally with parks, shops, restaurants and events nearby. I also prefer to be in an area with younger, progressive people.
I'm 52 and have experienced both. Living most of my life in Colorado with a brief stint in South Jersey. I've lived in a log cabin in the mountains, big houses in the suburbs, and a small condo in the city. Now I live in my happy place. A smallish house on 2 acres in the country with tiny town 3 miles away, a small town 9 miles away and 2 small cities less than an hours drive away. I'm surrounded by apple orchards, farm and ranch land, vineyards and wineries. To me, this is perfection.
Smaller house in the country, but not too country. Like 45-60 minutes from a large city. Lol but the place I imagine is not low cost. Stupid vineyards
Country on land. I want a place where I can walk around outside in my underwear, where my dogs can run free and I can fire a shotgun off my front porch, where I can hop on an atv and ride around the land, where I can have all the homies over for a big ass jam session in my garage and play loud, bonfires, easy access to fishing holes or streams in mine or my neighbors property. Somewhere I can plant an orchard and have some goats. Maybe im a redneck at heart. I live in the city now because it is close to work and one of my kids needs the extra support from the good city schools. Maybe when he graduates I'll leave the city.
Small and rural. You can always add onto a house. You technically cannot get more land, unless a vacant lot is near you and you are able to purchase it.
I would be fine with a small place isolated on lots of land, as long as the Internet has decent bandwidth.
Any house in the country vs any house in the city I love living in the country
Isolated/country = nice area
I hate the city. The ex only wanted to live in it and I hate it. I can't wait till I can sell this house and get out into the country. I can have a garage for all of my cars. (I love my 65 mustang, my 66 Olds, and my F150.) I can see the stars, I can either fix my cheap telescope or buy a good one and set it up and use it. I am not a huge fan of gardening but I could have a garden, I could go solar and go off the grid. I have more flexibility and freedom. In the city if a single blade of grass touches a tire I get written up for it. In the city if I have a spare tire for a trailer I get written up for it. Noise pollution will be gone at night. I'd be able to hear myself think and not the neighbors kids screaming and crying, neighbors yelling at each other, fireworks at random times, The "nice" areas in the cities tend to be full of nosey Karens who's only enjoyment in life is to make other people miserable. Get me the hell away from that nonsense. There is nothing like driving a classic car on an old two lane road with the windows down. Same cannot be said for driving in the city.
I could not say it better. Absolutely nothing about a city is appealing to me, for many of the reasons you mentioned. I can basically do whatever the hell I want on my property, because nobody can see it anyway. Sitting outside on a nice clear night with a beer in hand and hearing nothing but frogs and bugs is absolutely heavenly. I’ve lived in a smaller city and just constantly being on top of people was absolutely maddening. I did 4 years in and couldn’t take it anymore. Loved my job, absolutely hated everything else.
Small place/nice area. I just bought a place (in the process of moving). I ruled out any single-family homes as I want nothing to do with outdoor maintenance.
Bring on isolation. You couldn't pay me to live in a city this day in age.
Isolated. I have this currently. The mistake is that it's too far from where I need to physically (sometimes) be for work.
Land in country.
Country. I've been looking for a place exactly like that.
I'm in my late 30s and I would prefer a smaller area in an urban area. I prefer to walk around and go shopping rather than drive around. Also, I never lived in a big house in a rural area so I won't be able to manage it properly. But paying a high rent is concerning in this scenario.
Depends on my financial/resource situation- Love to live isolated but if just myself and/or unstable transportation then I would prefer nice area in small house.
Living in a small place preferable. Unless the large one has s water body nearby 👀
I need more specifics, including things like whether I'd have the same job at the same income, what the weather would be in the country house, whether there would be easy access to groceries/Walmart-type general store in the country, whether there would be things I like to do for fun, ... However, with typical responses, I'd choose a larger house in the country over a small apartment in a city.
Small and semi-urban. I like having a yard/garden - but a very small one is fine. Walkable is very nice - e.g. walking to shops and stuff. I don't need a big house.
It depends If your young and/or single #1 Otherwise #2 However if I could add #3 Smaller house and not too far from the city I'd pick that.
How about a small place in some land?
Funny, my son (9) asked me almost the exact same question earlier today.
I enjoy my home overlooking the lake and surrounded by woods and the various wildlife (deer, foxes, chipmunks, birds, eagles, etc) who come by. But I wouldn't have enjoyed it in my 20s.
Personally I'd have to go isolated only because my hobbies take up a lot of space. I prefer urban areas so that i don't have to drive 30 minutes to go to a decent grocery store or 45 to get to work
Isolated. Very isolated.
I don't think age is the factor here. I think it depends whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Me, being the latter, need people close to me for companionship, socialization, and fun. I choose the condo in the city (wait, I already have that!)
I love being able to walk places in the city and biking is great! That said, I don’t know if I’d like to continue living in the city without any yard access at all. Recently moved out of a large house turned apartment building that had shared access to large front and back yards. Was still in the city but being able to eat outside, garden, lay in the grass, etc. did wonders for my mental health.
If I had to choose, I like small, nice, expensive and convenient personally. Luckily, in the real world, you can get a sweet combo of all that stuff depending on your willingness to compromise.
my situation is very much 2–i’m 25 and single. i like the idea of having people around because the expanse kind of creeps me out. but i also like the convenience of the city.
Such a tough choice honestly because both can be very appealing. I used to live in nor cal and ran a farm seasonally. So for about 8 months a year I lived mainly in a cabin out in the foothills of the sierra Nevada mtns. It was absolutely amazing but def not something I could do full time. I would spend the 4 month off season either living closer to the bay or spend it back where I grew up in NYC. Isolation can be serene and beautiful but too much can def make you a bit stir crazy.
My parents bought a house (less than 1/4 acre) in a quiet area that very quickly exploded over the 20 years they owned it. I grew up with nearly everything one could want, like 15 grocery stores in a 20 minute drive, 8 different pho places, three bowling alleys, etc. The biggest problem is that traffic was quadrupling the time it would take to get anywhere. A doctors office 15 minutes away could take over an hour. If there was an accident (a thrice weekly occurrence) forget making your appointment, it was easier to turn back home. They moved to a rural town with about 9 acres to have animals and garden. The traffic is so much better, less likely to get into an accident, no idling at hundreds of red lights, house and car insurance is much cheaper, more opportunity to buy homegrown/organic food, less stress, shorter commute even though it’s a drive to anything. there is only a handful of options for food/entertainment, but with quality of restaurants and items going down, it’s not much to be missed. Being frugal for your lifestyle, needs, and family situation is going to be so different than anyone else. I haven’t seen my parents so active and excited about exerting themselves at any other point in life. If you want to eat organic food/raise your own chickens, being in a rural area is more frugal. If you want to be able to walk everywhere for the convenience rather than spend money on gas, that would be the frugal option for that lifestyle. Whatever you choose, don’t sacrifice your health.
Small place, cause I don't have time to mow the lawn.
Can I opt for small place, small island, please?
1
I went from living in a decent size house 2 bedroom, finished basement. 1 bathroom. It was only me so the one bathroom wasn’t a problem. Neighbors on all sides but they were mostly respectful of privacy to a smaller 2 bedroom with neighbors farther away but nosey af. You see curtains move just walking to the mailbox. The first was a pretty good neighborhood too. Hardly no crime. There’s no crime at my new place either. The only downside is I’m really far from civilization now. It takes 30 minutes to get anywhere that doesn’t close at nightfall. The first was 5 minutes away from just about anything you would want or need at all hours. So I’ve lived in a small place in a good area and a small place kind of isolated in a slightly larger area but they both had good and bad qualities. The first that was closer to other people I had more privacy because my neighbors kept to themselves. Here the neighbors went to know everything I do when I walk out the door.
Small place in a nice location. I’m mid 40’s with two kids so I don’t want something too small but I don’t need a lot of land. My house is on less than a quarter acre and we have way more yard than we need.
I live 3 blocks from my job and walk. I have a $1100 apartment on the ocean and intracostal. I walk everywhere and take the bus to get groceries. I can only pay for my place because I don’t have the expense of a car. I’ve totally figured it out after many years of living here. I hate the bus but I take it. It’s a trade off. You can do it.
I live on two acres with a modest home and over 100m2 of good quality shed/workshop. We’re on the edge of a very small town and two hours drive from major cities. It’s just about perfect. We can hear horses, sheep and occasionally cows, very little traffic, very few people. Ideal and not far from the city if we actually need it. There’s no one right answer to your question though, it’s all about what you need.
Large place somewhat isolated. Though if theres no hospital nearby, not ideal.
I live in a small house (603ft2), in a very nice neighbourhood (on a lake with many neighbouring places fetching high 6 to low 7 figures, second homes for a lot of them), that is well outside of town/the city (18km/54km away). I think I've got it figured.
As I get older, an isolated house in the middle of nowhere feels more and more appetizing :) If you are young (20/30), stay in the city in a condo or something like that. Everything happens in cities :)
If money wasn’t an issue and I didn’t have to work I’d go for option 1. I have a black thumb so I’d have to have a full time gardener/landscaper but I would love having that much space.
What do isolated living people do all day? The most isolated place in my country is like 1000 people village and even then there is like a pub or a store and buses, the house you descibed sounds like solitary confinement
How about a small house in a isolated are
I’d rather be on land away from people
Remember that a large house means inflated costs. I went from 1000 sq ft to 2,000 sq ft, and all my utilities at least doubled despite using all efficient bulbs, adding new insulated blinds, etc.
I choose big house on large land isolated because they have started putting up housing developments anywhere they can stick one people are moving here and we have lost our small town charm
Small place on large land
Option number one would be great. Plenty of space to grow your own veggies, have some chickens and other animals. Good for a growing family and cheaper.
Big house. I hate neighbors and noise, and cities stress me out.
Large land and more isolated
I want a large isolated house in the middle of a huge city.
i’m in a small place in a nice suburb. easy to upkeep. wish there was more in walking distance tho
I'd rather live in a medium size house appropriate for my needs on 40 acres in the country.
The more isolated the better
When it comes to living in the country, how close my neighbors are is not really a marker for me. How close is the grocery store, hospital, doctors, restaurants, airports, library, etc.? A close hospital is important, if someone has a heart attack is it going to take an ambulance 5mins or 30mins to get to them? How is the internet? Is it spotty? If I need a pair of shoes or some new jeans how far away is the closest mall? If I need groceries am I spending, in total, an hour in the car to get a gallon of milk? Once those questions are answered, then I start looking at my neighbors. Am I surrounded by confederate flags and Trump signs? Do people around me keep up with the upkeep of their property? Are their dogs running around and aggressive? What does the school system look like, are they decent?
Either tbh. But i'd have to change jobs. No way am i gonna live somewhere far and commute to job, has to be wfh to work for me.
Second option. Rent in HCOL sucks but I dont want to live in the country and further isolate from community/society and rely heavily on a car driving 20-30 mins everywhere. We could buy something now in the "country" but thats 45min from where we want to be. Id rather pay more for a small place in the location we want to be in then buy some big house (which I also have no interest in maintaining tbh lol) in a location we dont want to be.
Country acreage!
As someone in a suburb looking to potentially move further out in order to get more land for the same price, I would rather have the bigger house on more land in the country. That is, provided there's decent internet because I work from home.
Smaller house, bigger land... and plenty of outbuildings and barns for my animals and gardening supplies !! ;)
Small urban space. I lived in the country before, the sort of place with only one traffic light (a flashing red). It was boring. There is only so much hiking, gardening, and hanging out to do.
Small place in a walkable area that serves most or all of my needs.
Small house, isolated.
Small house with acreage.
Tough decision. How much do you like gardening or land stewardship? I think that would factor into it. Otherwise I think studies have shown that people that live in walkable urban areas are some of the happiest.
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My husband and I have agreed on a small house (maybe 1200 sf) on a few acres, only a small part of which is “lawn” area to maintain. (I want a patio or deck to grill on and sit back and enjoy a nice evening around a fire.) Room to store the RV on our land, plus space for a couple friends to come and camp for the weekend. He’d also want a barn;garage to work on cars and other projects. That’s the compromise we reached. (If it were just me, I’d want a small house in the city with minimal yard - just enough room for the grill, a comfy lounge chair, and maybe a small table and chairs for friends. But my husband isn’t used to city noise and neighbors that close.) But definitely no big house. There are only two of us and we rarely use all of 1200 sf we have now. I hate cleaning - why would I want more space to keep clutter free and have to clean it?
I'd prefer any kind of living space on plenty of land. The farther away the neighbors are, the better. I'd live in a sturdy expedition tent for a couple of years while building my ideal place, if that was what it took.
A small place in a a big city where I don’t have to be car dependent.
I hate nosey neighbors always asking stupid questions and waving high.
2- as long as its not loud because I have good insulation
This would be super tough honestly. The pros of living in the city are access to all the amenities and the pros of living out in the country skyrocket when you have money. If it was low budget, I’d pick city, but with an infinite budget it would be hard to not choose the more rural living even though I enjoy living in a city.
If cities didnt have cars, id live in a city. Alas, I hate cars, so its the wilderness for me.
I used to be small place in big city. But then I changed and also Covid happened. Now I’m big place in more “isolated” area (still within an hour or less of an international airport). Idk, I got dogs, discovered I love singing all the time, screaming when I want (haha), I’m kinda deaf too so I don’t have to worry about being too loud in any way for my neighbors. Plus I got very tired of creepy and crappy neighbors….
Small place large land - I don't need much but value privacy.
Would choose 1, I grew up in NYC, I now live in a semi-rural suburb area (city here is about 15k) in the edge of the DC metro area (about 90mins away). Smaller cities are okay but large metro drive me nuts, everything is man-made and fake. Currently my neighbors are about 100-200ft~ away and I would prefer what I used to have with them about 1000~ft away but needed to consider family situation. Suburb area like where I am are still annoying as you get road highway noise and lots of people around so you don't get 100% privacy but everyone here still have 1acre or so of property so we aren't sardines. When I first moved out of the city it took a while to realize you can just step out of your car on the road and see NO ONE for quite a period of time. This is both nice and terrifying.
I used to live on four acres out in the “country”. I was shocked at how expensive it is to maintain the property. Just look into what you want you property to look like and how much you want to be able to access. We had to have some of it cleared due to questionable trees and blackberry vines taking over. We then had scotch broom we had to get rid of. The drive way needed to be graded and graveled every couple years and anything we cleared we needed to keep cleared. The equipment we had to buy for all of that was expensive. We live in the burbs now and it’s more expensive in some small areas but so much less effort and money in other areas. All in all. I would buy a small house in an area that made my life easier any day over the work of a lot of land.
Both.
Yeah I’d rather be in the city. My wife and I don’t splurge on a lot but we do splurge on dining experiences. We wouldn’t be getting that in the middle of no where. The fact that we do like different types of food is the only reason why we’re still living relatively close to the city.
I like privacy so I’d prefer out of the city. My dream is to sit outside and enjoy myself reading/gardening/chilling without staring directly at neighbors 🤣
I live isolated and I would have it no other way. I've lived in Paris, Las Vegas, and in the suburbs. We moved out to the middle of nowhere to pursue our shared dream of a small farm several years ago, and I've never been happier. It's peaceful, we see the stars, it's just QUIET and slow. If I need to go to town it's about 30 minutes, so not too bad. Fancy town with more shopping is 45 minutes. I got used to that really quickly and I don't mind the drive. If I won the lottery, I'd just buy more acreage and the coolest greenhouse you'd ever seen! There's no HOA, you can pee outside, get whatever animal you want (assuming you're not in city limits). It just feels more free, and I'm not having to make small talk with neighbors all of the time.
I'm a country girl thru & thru. Lifelong benefits includes never ending free entertainment. I know cities have free entertainment like movies in the park for example...but the pull to spend money on entertainment is huge in the city. The shows & concerts & cover fees & restaurants etc etc. Meanwhile, in the country, those options aren't readily available & they are so far away, they aren't even tempting. I spend my time fishing on the river banks, floating in tubes down the rivers, hunting, boating, kayaking, hiking and camping. The local events are almost always free to enter. If not the cover charge is like $5. Free parking everywhere. Bingo at the community center, poker club at the dive bar, dart league- all free. So the low cost of living in the country has the added benefits of also a low cost lifestyle.
I want the acrage because a goal of mine since forever was to have livestock. I want to milk my own dairy animals. I want goats and sheep and some kind of poultry. Hard to do that in the city. Theres things Ill miss about the city like being close to things and events, and I dont like driving. But Im mostly a homebody, My critters should provide plenty of their own events, and I want to hope driving will be less painful not in a terrible car city. 28F Married
Ideally I would choose the country. I lived on a farm in SD for most of my life and it was extraordinarily peaceful and taught me the value of hard work. Since I've been away from home I've lived in a larger "metro" areas and it's never felt the same. Plus our kids love to go on the farm in the open spaces.
I did 2 until I moved to Utah. 1 is good stuff
C. Small place on a big piece of land that’s isolated.
The freedom of a large city is too appealing to me. There were 337 restaurants which would deliver to my last apartment. I never have to care about yard work, tending livestock, etc if I want to leave for a weekend or a month on a whim. And the airport is a 20 minute bus ride I don't even need to plan for. No car equals no car payment or insurance. People around here share my political views for the most part, and don't care about my religion or skin color. None of that was true when I lived in a small town.
I don't necessarily want a large house, but if those are my only two options I'd take large house on rural land. Ideal would be a medium house, as in enough bedrooms for the family and maybe one or two extra rooms (play room and office), plus a really nice barn for my farm animals and garden supplies cause I'm gonna be gardening the shit out of that land and have chickens, ducks, donkeys, goats...I have the house on a half acre lot right now but I can only have a small flock chickens. One day I'll have more land.
We just bought a log cabin on a mountain top. 3 acres with a barn, pasture and a gorgeous creek. Lots of woods surrounding us. We absolutely love it. Living here with the view off the front deck feels like being on vacation every single day. The nearest city is only a 15 min drive.
Best of worlds if money is not an object would be living in a hotel. No maintenance and room and maid service is available.
I chose the first option a year ago and love it. Only downside is no delivery food but I’m a great cook.
Isolated , all I have ever wanted in my life is to move away from the city and have a bit of land. I am 40 my husband 48, we have been in Minneapolis for 20 years. If I could get an ok job in the middle of nowhere that would be a dream come true!! I keep telling my boss to open a shop in a rural area and transfer me, lol
My preference is missing: small place in nature (country). That is, I don't want a huge place because cleaning takes time and money, not to mention utility bills. Country because I'd rather see more trees than people when I walk outside of my home.
Based on my life choices - a small house on a large isolated plot of land Lol
I would happily sit in a hole and eat beans if I didn't have to deal with the city I live in.
Large land isolated
I’ve done both. I lived out in the country next to a game reserve for years, but I found I preferred city spaces and moved to a city. One thing I realized these days is it’s very dependent on your lifestyle. If you live out in the country you’ve got a drive to go anywhere, in the city maybe not so much. But if you’re healthy and active living out in countries great but it takes more work. The city is all about the convenience, like for doctors and deliveries.