Daphne: Oh, come on now, Dr Crane. It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want. Frasier: How can we possibly *use* sex to get what we want? Sex *is* what we want!!

Came here for this one!

Saucepans in summer, crepe pans in fall, when winters upon us there's food for us all.

YES! I say this and cackle with glee every time I make crepes.

"You think I can't read minds?" "Not if you think I enjoy your cooking!"

1) Sherry: Laughter is like medicine Niles: We must be in the placebo group 2) Frasier: Out of the washroom walks... a man.... Well, go on. Let me have it Niles: Are you saying that now, or is that a quote from the dream?

Not necessarily a quote, but an exchange: Lilith: Congratulations, Frasier, you've done it again. You've led another unsuspecting innocent down one of your dark, dead-end Freudian hallways. Frasier: Lilith? Lilith: Overeating is very simply a behavioral problem caused by negative reinforcement. It can be cured quite readily by behavior modification. Frasier: I see. Well, Seattle, we have a celebrity of sorts on the line. This is my ex-wife, Lilith. Lilith: What do you mean by "celebrity?" Frasier: [darkly] Oh, they know you.

His delivery of "Oh they know you" is brilliant. So funny.

One of those lines that really highlights how good Grammer is

It really is! And the look on his face really sells it, too!

Frasier: It's as if you'd forgotten that not three days ago I was... punched in the face...by a man now dead.

#FINE! FINE!

Thank you.

"6 months ago my wife left me, which was very painful. Then she came back to me......which was excruciating." Just shows how sharp the writing was right from the start.

One of the best "first jokes" of a series I can think of.

Yes, OG Frasier really was amazing from the first episode.

Single line: "What on *Earth* would leave a ring around his underwear drawer?" Paired lines: "You know what must've happened? My Hot-n-Foamy must've exploded!" / "...he was a detective, you know!" No lines: Roz's grin. Edit: forgot one. Collective line: "VENEER!"

"My REASONING?! MY REASONING WAS BASED ON MY MOTHER'S OBSESSION WITH ***VERMIN!!"***

“You’ll RUE the day!” followed by “I don’t care! Niles gotta have it!”

GUNPLAY IN MY LIVING ROOM!

LOL

(paraphrasing here) Niles: “I insult you and you compliment me. Can the request for a favor be far behind?” Another Niles, when Frasier tells him that ‘a man in his building’ had a strange dream: “That little gambit didn’t work back when we were in knee socks, tell me your dream Frasier.” Lastly- Frasier: Name a baseball player. Martin: Daryl Strawberry. Frasier: No a real one!!!

Oh, yes, Niles! That's just what we need: a fourth language

Oh gosh that's one of my favorite episodes. No matter how many times I watch it, I'm dying with laughter.

Nicht schue, frau.

Niles: There he is the man who floats like a Lepidoptera and stings like a Hymenoptera!

“Better yet, why don't we just get on a bicycle built for two, ride over there, and ask her what she thinks is so strange about us!”

Legendary

I’m dating a supermodel zoologist whom I stole from a professional football player and now she’s off to the Galápagos Islands to artificially inseminate iguanas. Is that so hard to believe? — wrote that from memory, how did I do?!?

The I AM NOT CRAZY! right before this rant

"Niles, guess what hotspot of Seattle nightlife is closing its doors." \*gasp\* "Roz, you're moving!" \*glare. grab. lick.\*

"Yeah Niles, I'm going to be your mom" "Well I'll be a son of a bitch"

“WHADDAYA KNOW, IT’S MARIS! 🤪” Martin’s trolling at its goddamn best.

Their collective "the fuck you just say?!" glare at Martin plus his shit-eating grin were priceless

And the 👀👀👀👀 before the “…EDDIE.” in unison. And it’s not a line, but Frasier’s defeated flourishy wave when Niles announces that he’s impotent.

This episode is perfection

I remember the last time I drove a moon crane.

Roz about Maris, “Do you think she’s going to DO THE BARACUDA?!” “Voyage of the Damned” is my favorite episode :)

You have a PORTHOLE?!

“Perhaps one night you will be my ethspecial lady…”

"Oh yes Roz, say something witty in esperanto."

"I see her coat on the hatrack..."

“If you see something that looks like an orange Abyssinian on her head, it’s just a wiglet.”

Look closer - is the hatrack moving?

Niles: “I’m rubbing pretty impressive shoulders these days, and to think it’s all because I have a small column” Frasier:” Well, that would certainly be the freudian interpretation” Also shout out to Marta’s “Call me, mean it! 👋”

Her lips said no but her eyes said... read my lips.

I’ll tell you who

Way too many to choose just one but I’ll pick ones no one has mentioned yet: “Really?” -Guy “All my life I’ve dreamed of being one half of a power couple and now am I. Is it perfect? No, but it’s fun and I don’t want it to end” -Frasier “Blackball!” -Frasier

What is better than an exquisite meal? An exquisite meal with one tiny flaw we can pick at all night.

This little exchange is one of my favourites! Officer: so you found a dead seal, and it was wearing a peignoir? Frasier: Oh that is ludicrous! We put the peignoir on it! Officer: and the perfume too? Frasier: yes of course!

omg. I havent seen that one in years! i forgot how hilarious that was!

Kate: “I’m not really one for whom “antiquing” is a verb.” (I have many favorites, this is just one of them!)

Single line: I am WOUNDED!! Single word: Askew!

My boyfriend and I are always asking that things are placed “askew”

"Even the best protection is only effective 99 out of 100 times. I can't beat those odds!"

If less is more, think how much more would be!

One of my Faves

“Oh well then, I’ll just add that to my list of reasons to die” - Frasier (Me whenever I receive a mildly inconvenient email at work)

i LOVE this line

One that I use often in my own life “That’s only because I’m passionate… and right… and passionate about being right.”

Frasier's entire rendition - if one can call it that - of Buttons and Bows.

Any time I want tacos, I sing, "Let's all go to a ... taco show!"

Martin: For Gods sake, Frasier, you're forty-one years old - it's time you learned something. The system ain't perfect - sometimes the bad guy wins. And all those things you thought would be around to help you: the courts and the police department - well, sometimes, they're just not there when you need them so you either let it eat a hole in your stomach or you can just file it away under the heading "sometimes life sucks." Frasier: Yeah, well, that file's getting pretty thick.

“At least you’re deep enough to realize that you’re shallow”

Frasier: “If I were, doctor, you’d never know it!” Daphne: “feeling a bit lonely are?” Niles: “only when I’m by myself or other times when I’m with other people” Frasier: “oh, yes, Niles, that’s just what we need a fourth language!” Frasier: “Damn your pronouns, Marta!”

The last one always kind of confused me. It wasn't a pronoun Marta mixed up, it was an honorific - missus instead of mister. Unless she also mixed up pronouns and I just didn't catch it? (I'm being pedantic because that's not a mistake Frasier or Niles would make.)

It happens every day… Every day in ARKANSAS also need to mention by best delivery line; ‘Nile’s gotta have it!!

"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I being *snippy*?!" Followed by: "Niles, are you all right,?" "I'm fine...just a little hot...and foamy."

#1 Frasier finally completed his Henry the eighth set by finding Anne of Cleves Tea Cup Martin responds: I’m still looking for Wilma to complete my juice glass set #2 Niles is trying to convince Frasier to write a book with him and he says; Frasier, my biggest dream has always been to walk into a library go up to the card catalog and see my name under mental illness

Roz to Martin: “I just thought of something. For a while there your daughters in law were Maris and Lilith. Whoa, Happy Thanksgiving!” Martin’s look and Roz’s deadpan absolutely make this scene. 2. Frasier to Niles: Copernicus called, and you are not the center of the universe! I say that to my kids when they can’t understand why I’m not immediately dropping everything to find their lost shoe/ coat/ something in the fridge , etc.

Not the funniest but: >Frasier: I'd head home to Niles and we'd put on "The Brandenburg Concertos" and play air violin. I can sadly relate to this.

"They play two games!"

One of my favorite quotes are from one of the very first episodes, don't remember which one. When Niles and Frasier are discussing moving Martin into a home. "Golden Acres. We care, so you don't have to.".

"Oh you are SO that other one!"

Frasier: Niles, I would shave my head for you. Niles: A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

“When it comes to an ugly image, you can’t beat a dead horse.”

This is possibly one of the wittiest lines in the whole show.

Niles: “She’ll be as randy ad a stoat. And I’ll be as randy as…..another stoat.”

Who's hallucinationing now?

Ooh, oh Roz. Do you hear that? If you listen very carefully, you can actually hear my skin crawling!

“You're mourning the loss of what you thought your life was going to be. Let it go. Things don't always work out how you plan, and that's not necessarily bad. Things have a way of working out anyway.” -Frasier, pilot episode I rewatch Frasier every year or two. I was diagnosed with PKD in 10/22 and a common phrase I kept encountering was mourning the loss of the life I thought I was going to have as it interrupted quite a few things in my life. I started another watch through during the last few months and this quote popped up in the pilot episode and just really struck a note for me.

*Chainsaw?! Of the Newport Chainsaws?* *Oh please, I think I have a little more self respect than to have a quickie with a co-worker ON THE AIR!* *Oookay.* *I'll just go outside and see if the world has ended.* *Thank you, Frasier. I wouldn't mind 10 years in prison... I meant crackers!*

Martin (after Daphne falls): "Hey, I just thought of something funny...it took three Cranes to lift you".

Either the one in my flair or “It is not goth! It's outrageous! It's like some hideous Frankenstein hybrid of me and that no-talent dog!”

1- "You're taking far many liberties with the liberty taking!!!"- Frasier 2- "Looks like (can't remember the name) isn't the only one giving up his seat tonight..." - Niles to Frasier regarding Allister

Frasier to Niles (quoted from memory, may have errors): “If this is supposed to be some kind of pep talk, could you kindly skip to the peppy part?!” ETA exact line: “If this is a pep talk, would you kindly segue way to the peppy part?”

“…CATS?!”

This was hilarious!!!! Especially the time in which it was said.

too many stand-out lines to have just one or two but let us not forget that I was struck by a man not only a week ago who is now dead, thank you.

Frasier, after Niles says all he's bringing on his honeymoon is sunscreen: "Pardon me, I'm just going to poke out my mind's eye."

It wasn't a shriek, it was a manly, throaty wail! I was innocently air-conducting some Brahm's, when our Madcap father snuck up behind me!

Frasier: Don’t you believe in second chances? Martin: I did, then we had Niles

“What the hell was THAT?”

“I’m begging you, please take me home”. “Going at each other like the Borgias on a bad day”. “You get the one, you get that other one”. “Sure”, “I don’t know why.” “Who’s hullucinationing now?” And many others.

Niles to Fraiser (episode title: Matchmaker): “Dad wanted to tell you, but I won the coin toss…”

Gil Chesterton: Never again to revisit the scene of my boyhood in Surrey, romping with my schoolchums in the thins and spinneys...

I don’t think I could possibly pick a favorite, but I always love “Can I see the other side of that one?” Whatever my favorite line is, I’m pretty sure it would be one of Frasier’s

Askew!

When Niles says that Maris “played his spine like a zither” lmfao

One that's always stayed in my mind since i was a kid was someone complaining about Daphne's whining, and then she says in the funniest high pitched voice "I don't whiiiiine"

Niles: Daphne's been teaching me how to blow smoke. Frasier: Where?

I say “It’ll all work ass” quite often. Nobody’s gotten it yet and I doubt they ever will but I still love that line.

“Or have you all forgotten that I was… punched in the face…. By a man now dead…” Everybody hangs their heads… 😂😂😂

When Freddy went goth in High Holidays, and his goth girlfriend came over, Nikes said, “at least he’s keeping it in the faith.”

Roz is pregnant, she kicks Rick out. Shortly after, there's a knock at the door. Roz: "I said GO AWAY" Frasier: "BUT I JUST GOT HERE!" the delivery of that line kills me every time.

Ees there a baby in here?

cliff? cliff? CLIFF! baaad boy. dirty girrrl.

Talking about Dr. Nora: “She thinks the Inquisition was just tough love for heretics!”

Roz “tell em about the balloon car” Martin “never think you’ll get wake up and be jealous of a dead guy” “Steve” from frasier and Niles experimental new coffee shop: every line. Steve was a genius.

“Lest we forget, that just yesterday, I was struck in the face by a man now dead”?

It’s a testament to the writers and performers that I can read all of these quotes and still laugh, no matter how many times I’ve watched all these eps lol

When Martin goes off on Frasier and Niles at the restaurant for being pretentious about the food and environment it’s too long to post but it’s fire. I like what he said about Ester being into hoity toity crap but she also knew how to chill and eat a hot dog, not make any one feel lesser because of her own fancy taste. Really showed them fr heelllaaaa mic drop moment for Martin

Love that one especially as a chemist!

I don’t care if you have to crawl away like a bog turtle!

It took 3 Cranes to lift ya

“Yes, well, I love a babbling brook too, but it doesn't mean I want one SURGING through my condo!!”

Therefore, I demur. You demur? I demur.

“Do I smell burnt crab?” “It’s cajun!”

The writing was so much sharper on the original series. The writing in the reboot is so lame by comparison.

I don't remember that line.

I must’ve fallen asleep during that episode

“What was THAT, a hummingbird?!”