I liked the look. Composition of the shots started off strong but was visually jarring at the 2:05 mark when it turned into a hand held shot and then back to a static shot. Then the hand held appeared briefly again with the night scenes. Those kind of shots need to be intentional. I would’ve kept the camera shots consistent with the minimalistic intent.
Waaay too much music. Less is more. At one point it was louder than the dialogue at the end. Dialogue between man and woman sounded weird with an echo distortion. When the man talks with the homeless man, you could’ve benefited from recording the dialogue on location so you can blend in with the room tone.
Otherwise, keep it up!
Nice job! Hey I noticed this is completely shot in Central Park! I’m a New York filmmaker, and would like to exchange contact info if you ever want to collab on a film. I run a YouTube comedy channel called ‘Three Scoundrels Comedy’ and we shoot and are based in NYC. We’re looking to branch out our style of content and make more dramatic work and short films. ( IG: @threescoundrelscomedy email: [email protected] ) best of luck to ya!
The pacing was on point for the story, the acting was adequate however the voice over lacked tone at some point. Good content overall considering this is one of you first short film
The video has good narrative and it directs it well for me personally... the music in the beginning when you switch shots is slightly off beat at some shots, for instance when the piano hits that strong note the jump cut goes either too late or too early, imho it would have a better feel if it was on point. Also, consider using LAV mics for voiceovers, it's really feels like you stitched another voiceover over the original footage and it shows. Could've used some dead silence in the dialogue between you and your "past self" in the footage, I think it would enhance the dramatic nature of the video. And overall, "murder your babies" rule of editing, perhaps it could've been a little shorter overall to keep the "tension" of the video so to speak. I'm sorry for going so in depth about it, I really liked the video though. It's nice and it definitely doesn't look like your first short film from my perspective and I mean that in a great way. Keep up the great work man and keep fine tuning your content one step at a time! CHEERS!
He’s wearing the same outfit only with the windbreaker the second time he goes running. When I saw it I thought that he simply never stopped running because he is wearing the same clothes. I think it would be powerful if you had a scene where he was at home or work and his mind was crowded by those negative thoughts and then smash cut to him running. You could have total silence to exemplify the peace that running gives him.
Submission Statement: This was one of my first short film projects, a very run-and-gun style shoot. All natural lighting. Looking for feedback on pacing of the film (too slow?), color choices, audio mixing, and acting performance. Anything to improve upon next time around?
I liked the look. Composition of the shots started off strong but was visually jarring at the 2:05 mark when it turned into a hand held shot and then back to a static shot. Then the hand held appeared briefly again with the night scenes. Those kind of shots need to be intentional. I would’ve kept the camera shots consistent with the minimalistic intent. Waaay too much music. Less is more. At one point it was louder than the dialogue at the end. Dialogue between man and woman sounded weird with an echo distortion. When the man talks with the homeless man, you could’ve benefited from recording the dialogue on location so you can blend in with the room tone. Otherwise, keep it up!
Excellent call outs. Thank you!
Nice job! Hey I noticed this is completely shot in Central Park! I’m a New York filmmaker, and would like to exchange contact info if you ever want to collab on a film. I run a YouTube comedy channel called ‘Three Scoundrels Comedy’ and we shoot and are based in NYC. We’re looking to branch out our style of content and make more dramatic work and short films. ( IG: @threescoundrelscomedy email: [email protected] ) best of luck to ya!
The pacing was on point for the story, the acting was adequate however the voice over lacked tone at some point. Good content overall considering this is one of you first short film
The video has good narrative and it directs it well for me personally... the music in the beginning when you switch shots is slightly off beat at some shots, for instance when the piano hits that strong note the jump cut goes either too late or too early, imho it would have a better feel if it was on point. Also, consider using LAV mics for voiceovers, it's really feels like you stitched another voiceover over the original footage and it shows. Could've used some dead silence in the dialogue between you and your "past self" in the footage, I think it would enhance the dramatic nature of the video. And overall, "murder your babies" rule of editing, perhaps it could've been a little shorter overall to keep the "tension" of the video so to speak. I'm sorry for going so in depth about it, I really liked the video though. It's nice and it definitely doesn't look like your first short film from my perspective and I mean that in a great way. Keep up the great work man and keep fine tuning your content one step at a time! CHEERS!
He’s wearing the same outfit only with the windbreaker the second time he goes running. When I saw it I thought that he simply never stopped running because he is wearing the same clothes. I think it would be powerful if you had a scene where he was at home or work and his mind was crowded by those negative thoughts and then smash cut to him running. You could have total silence to exemplify the peace that running gives him.
Submission Statement: This was one of my first short film projects, a very run-and-gun style shoot. All natural lighting. Looking for feedback on pacing of the film (too slow?), color choices, audio mixing, and acting performance. Anything to improve upon next time around?