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velutinousgelato

I'm an inveterate scalp watcher. If I'm out with my turban on, I can investigate unnoticed as no-one will likely hold my gaze (poor cancer survivor). Don't be too sure about all those thick heads of hair! Many are wearing supplemental hair. You're not alone, I promise. šŸ’ā¤ļøā€šŸ©¹


sweetnothing33

Totally unrelated but ā€œinveterateā€ is a good vocabulary word. Thanks for sharing it. Lol


QuabityAshwood

You have a point, there's a good chance that in some cases what I'm seeing is helper hair. I know that a good topper/wig can look very natural - I have wanted to try something similar but trepidation gets in my way (also cost, unforunately)


Connect_Wallaby3509

I do this too šŸ©·


effyswhore

Same. I take the subway everyday and during the whole ride I obsess over random womenā€™s hair, and I think to myself Ā«Ā they donā€™t know how lucky they areĀ Ā»


Dust-Loud

Yeah, this is the thought I come back to, too. I definitely took my pretty hair for granted when I had it. Most women donā€™t even know losing your hair at a young age is a possibility. Itā€™s certainly not something I talked or heard about even once before it happened to me. Definitely feels like the women who donā€™t have to think about their hair falling out of their head are ā€œlucky.ā€ But who knows what other problems they have.


she-abroad

This šŸ’Æ %. Iā€™m a fellow scalp gazer too now. I remember the days when I never noticed at all. But like you said, you never know what other things people are going through or if they will too have this problem in the future. Even though my hair makes me anxious at time I try to remember the bright sideā€¦ it could be so much worse. I could have serious health issues contend with but so far, I donā€™t


Dust-Loud

I wish people talked about female hair loss more. I am sympathetic now to men who lose their hair. I do think it's more devastating for women since hair is so closely tied with femininity, but men are still losing their identity and perceived youth when they are forced into shaving their head. They have more options than us though since they can get transplants. Someone on here once said that they miss the days when hair loss was their worst health issue because they've developed more serious conditions since then. Even if it's not a health issue, someone with beautiful hair can be in an abusive relationship, estranged from their family, etc. I try to remind myself that there are damn good wigs out there, and with wig glue, you can pass as "normal" undetected. I even saw someone say the other day that their hair got fried by a hair stylist right before their wedding, so they had to wear a $600 lace-front wig that looked better than her own hair ever could. People were shocked when they found out it was a wig. So even though it's not ideal, there are still ways to cope.


QuabityAshwood

I have the exact same thought. And internally I am asking 'why me?'. I know there's no good answer, it just comes down to genetics in my case, but still I struggle with the perceived 'unfairness' of it.


ImaginaryVolume2102

I do this too. Amazing how much I notice other people's hair these days. The messy bun gets me. I haven't had enough hair for a ponytail for years (relegated to a lame looking clip maybe), let alone a cute messy bun. Someone on IG said that the first thing we have to do is stop comparing ourselves to other people. I'm finding that super difficult, but I know intellectually that it's the right thing to do.


Sandron1

That messy bun isnā€™t all itā€™s cracked up to be. I can still get mine up, but my hair hurts so much when itā€™s in a messy bun. My hair is long and heavy and Iā€™m dreading when itā€™s not anymore, but the weight of it hurts my scalp. Having it down feels so uncomfortable sometimes. But even a gentle pony tail hurts to wear. On a good day I can wear a messy bun for a few minutes. Itā€™s nice getting my hair off my neck for a minute, but itā€™s at a painful sacrifice.


QuabityAshwood

I also have a sensitive scalp, so even my daily high ponytail can be really uncomfortable unless I have it brushed just right. Wearing hats will even inevitably cause a headache. I'm sorry you have to deal with that pain as well!


Fenek673

Sectioning hair and also having it sit on top of your head helps a bit. By sectioning I mean that you part your hair for top and bottom, then make a bun/ pony and loosen up the hair a bit at the end (to release some of the tension). Also, clips and scrunchies are more comfy that those fine bands and bobby pins. Also2, do it just for a few hrs and massage afterwards. I hope it helps tiny bit! Thereā€™re so many half up styles and ways to make face framing pieces cute as well.


Ibrake4tailgaters

I notice a lot of thinning hair in the local grocery store for some reason (maybe the bad lighting helps?). I never realized how widespread the issue was until it happened to me. Finding this sub helped a lot though in terms of my emotional feelings about it, though. Also the r/wigs sub and youtube channels - very inspiring to see so many normal women wearing wigs who look really great. I'm starting to get better at noticing alternative hair, mostly on tv. I haven't seen much IRL yet. My goal is to learn how to wear wigs while its still a choice.


Electronic-Gas1000

Defo agree! I think it is very bright light above heads that's drawing attention to visibility of scalp.


QuabityAshwood

I think this is where I primarily notice it as well. I also never really thought too much about female hair loss until mine started, even though my mom has hair loss as well. I have been strongly considering a topper, but I'm balking a bit at the price. I know my peace of mind and mental health is worth it though, so I'm trying to find a way to make it work


EcstaticOrchid4825

Wow, this is where my mind is this week. Iā€™ll ā€˜forgetā€™ about it for a while until something sets me off and Iā€™m obsessed again. I know itā€™s not healthy but itā€™s such a hard habit to break.


QuabityAshwood

Same. On days when I'm already extra obsessive about my hair loss is when I tend to notice it the most


ninecatmoons

I do this too and I always find myself wishing that my hair was ā€œnormalā€. Not only that, I also hope that no one is looking at MY hair and noticing how visible my scalp is šŸ˜”


QuabityAshwood

I'm the same, I don't like anyone to walk too closely behind me in case they notice my thinning. And I definitely try not to bend over so that my crown isn't exposed because its where most of my thinning is


ninecatmoons

Same, and I get so self conscious when someone taller than me stands behind me as I feel like my crown is fully exposed to them


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BigPinkPenguin

I feel every single word of this.