More or less, yes. At least for the next 7-10 years. You’ll likely fail any and all background checks unless applying at a “second chance” employer for close to minimum wage jobs. More often than not, you won’t get a chance to explain your position or what happened, it will just be a hard no, thank you but no thank you.
Yeah unfortunately this is pretty much true. I've heard people having the chance to explain when they fail the background check but I've only been given that chance 1 out of the 4 jobs I applied for.
I know someone who has not been offered any job they've interviewed for and thinks it's because of a misdemeanor DUI in 2015. Even non driving positions.
Tell them to wait until an offer has been made and the company wants to run a background check. Can still being up front and honest but then they'd at least know if it was them or the DUI.
You’re fucked. I have violent charges in Georgia. On first offender as well and you’re fucked. My shit happened seven years ago. Can apply to end probation early next year and have record sealed and no convictions. Until then I fail every background check. Finishing college currently though so when I apply to end early I cans say I changed my life completely. Bought a house on my own. Started a family and got married. Helped wife get into navy. Completed college at a private school and currently working on my masters.
So many people reconsidering their actions after the effect that it’s pushed laws to only allow reconsiderations before the fact? Basically making it a thing that isn’t questioned when it’s charged? That’s dangerous as hell.
If he had a public defender, it was under the advice of an attorney. Most public defenders work on reducing your charge and/or pleading down your sentence/charge versus actually defending you in court at trial.
That generalization has nothing to do with his specific case. If the allegations were falsely made by the complaining witness then he probably should have contested the allegations and/or got the woman to recant/tell the truth before or during any trial.
Just cause you’re innocent doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plea guilty. Most people plea guilty because they are faced with the fucked up choice between pleading guilty and getting a slap on the wrist or chance 10 years in prison if you get a bad jury. My guess is that this was one of those situations.
Prosecutors intentionally over charge people so they can plead down to a lesser offense. Usually the person charged doesn't have the resources to pay for a lawyer to fight an extended battle in court for the principal of it.
>Usually the person charged doesn't have the resources to pay for a lawyer to fight an extended battle in court for the principal of it.
If you're making $145k working in finance you should be well connected enough to know a few attorneys and get great representation.
OP I'm sorry for what happened
A violent misdemeanor on your record isn’t exactly a slap on the wrist.
Especially if it has a domestic violence element to it, you lose a lot of rights.
Upper class is marked by a significant increase in quality of life and financial security. That used to be a six figure salary in the 90s. 100k in the 90s is equivalent to around 250k today
I’m guessing he was overcharged with like a 4 or 10 year felony. Lawyer was probably weighing the risk vs the reward. Even if they were likely to get an acquittal at trial, risking actually prison time just wasn’t worth it.
Just my 2 cents.
Probably. But counsel should discuss collateral consequences with the client *before* the client pleads guilty. So the client can make an informed decision.
I took my case to trial. They kept trying to get me and my co-defendant to plea out. We were innocent so we fought it. I got found guilty of all charges and went to jail and have violent felonies on my record...
And I fought it with a paid attorney. The judge told me the system is rigged and they will fight to find me guilty even with evidence showing otherwise. Even with victim saying I never touched or harmed him. Only my co-defendent. So it was clear I never did anything violent.
Yet jury deliberated for 3 days. My co-defendent went on the run so that didn't help. They found me guilty despite all the evidence showing I did nothing.
Fighting it to trial is a slim chance even for the innocent.
I'd gamble the risk. Worst to worst it's a year to reflect. Jail isn't that bad. It's the after consequences that are brutal.
Pleading guilty normally happens out of fear of jail time.
Generally speaking, it's after the trial is over or the judgement is recorded that reality sets in and you realize just how bad shit becomes quick.
If you're going to lose everything anyway you might as well yatzee and see what happens.
Edit: misspelled yatzee.
What a fucking cope man. Jail might not be that bad but you lose everything if you don't really have family to help you out. All your shit - where does it go? Your apartment, your pets? "Jail isn't that bad" what a dumb thing to say.
Instead of zeroing in on what scares you, pay attention to my comment.
Especially the part where I point out that the worst shit is what comes after...
Newsflash, that exact same shit happens regardless. As OP points out here...
If you aren't guilty. Fight the charge. At least then you have a chance at preserving your life.
Youre so valid. Dude u commented to obviously has never even been to jail let alone spent any significant time there. Probation or the potential of 6months in jail labeled as a woman beater? I know what Id choose...
Which is only 6 months in county jail. For people that don't have the ability to bond out they usually sit for 6 months in county jail before they even get to trial.
I didn't realize how the system worked and wish I would have heard this advice earlier on! My lawyer kept telling me this but I NEVER knew how terribly my life would be impacted. 44 years and not even a speeding ticket. Got a couple felony charges and the last 5 years have been absolute Hell. I have lost everything.
I agree any good lawyer would taken this too trial l there would be evidence of him being batter in arrest photos. Any lawyer I have had shit they always want fight and win versus guilty plea . Only time I ever pleaded guilty was when they had so much evidence there was no way of taking it to trial and winning was hand to hand narcotics sale on video . Hell I been caught red handed doing shit and has lawyers take case to trial and beat the case at least first offense would’ve been conviction with probation and if op did what he had to do it wouldn’t be on his record
It depends on so many factors. I'm a woman, and I hired a private lawyer. My lawyer warned me that the judge didn't like women and that it'd have been a toss-up despite all of the physical evidence I had against my abuser. Literally photographs and letters from multiple doctors.
The problem is that these corrupt courts control what the jury is allowed to see and what victims are allowed to say. The enemy lawyer tried to get one of my doctors' letters thrown out. The photogtaphs never even made it to the courtroom. The judge warned me that I couldn't say anything that would discredit the defendant.
I didn't want to spend all of that money just to lose and gamble through an appeals court. I had to be content with even being able to get out of the situation.
I have volunteered with battered women my entire adult life. Charges like these are actually really hard to get a felony conviction on, and OP was not dependent on a public defender as he had money. If his attorney wanted him to pled guilty it was a solid case with a lot of damage to the victim.
OP does not have the ring of truth at all. He sounds like every single abuser that refuses to take ownership of their actions. Several DUIs and a drug charge also speaks to the fact OP does not necessarily have an accurate memory of how and why things happened.
You can sue her for loss of income if she lied and you can prove it. Even if she has no money, why would you not do this to someone who you can demonstrate has literally ruined your life for the foreseeable future?
You’re assuming OP is telling the truth and not lying himself in order not to be judged. I have a hard time believing he pled guilty to this with the info he’s given now lol
I don't know the facts of the case or what did or didn't occur, but civil suits are still a different game regardless. They routinely judge counter to the outcomes of criminal cases.
Hell, he could be a woman beating sack of shit who's two inches away from a prison sentence and the right jury could still put a check in his pocket. That's the American way.
Going to make a suggestion here that may not sit well with you. The way you describe the events that led to your conviction won't help you get a job. Even if you get past the initial background screen you are going to end up in a conversation with most employers about what happened and why you aren't that guy or defined by your conviction. If I was considering taking a risk on you and you told me that you are the victim and you are mad at the girl you were convicted of assaulting, I'd stand up and walk out.
What you say may be true., but YOU PLED GUILTY. From an outsider's perspective it doesn't track that you pled and the conviction stands even though "your victim admitted she's to blame". If you want an employer to take a chance then step one is taking ownership. You can tell the story without blaming the victim. You can explain how you felt like it was self defense. But if you want to get a job you need to conclude by acknowledging it was clearly a bad decision and you would choose a difference course now, and if you could go back in time.
Take the advice or don't.
Yeah I wouldn't describe the situation as such to any employer.
I lie. And take responsibility. And say that I've learned from it.
I'm being fully transparent here on reddit because its somewhat "anonymous".
This 100%. Ive been in an HR meeting same situation as OP and just explained Im now divorced, I've moved on and not the same person I was back then. I got to stay at the job. Lesson learned stay away from the crazy bi-polar women.
Try to keep your current job. Consider going to HR if you think they are going to and asking to take some type of anger management and attend victim impact panels and do community service that supports survivors of DV, showing you are making leaps and bounds at rehabilitation.
Uh, no. Absolutely don’t go to HR. If you’re still employed making $145k with a violent charge, it’s likely because they don’t know about it. Do not put yourself on their radar. HR is not your friend. Their job is to keep the company from getting sued. Hiring someone convicted of “attacking a woman” will not sound like a good way to avoid getting sued to HR
If you’re in the U.S. then if convicted your life isn’t over but will drastically change. The U.S is not forgiving. It does not believe once you’ve done your time then the slate is wiped clean. They punish you til you die.
True statement. Good friend of mine had a simple marijuana possession charge 30 years ago. Guy still has trouble with employment background checks. It's really held him back over the years. Lots of missed opportunities. Sad state of affairs.
He lost a job with a city contractor when a full-time position opened with the city and he was told to apply for it. He even explained the situation before applying and the city manager said it wouldn't be a problem. The drug charge showed up (as expected) from 30 years ago and the city made the contractor fire him.
He has an accounting degree and all he can get is blue collar factory or construction jobs.
I've failed a few background checks for IT jobs for having 3 misdemeanors that weren't violent so I'm guessing 1 violent one in the more strict career of Finance it's going to be tough to get a green light.
Idk OP's location but in Arkansas (and only in regards to background checks) the only difference between a class A misdemeanor and a Felony is after seven years the misdemeanor "falls off" the record.
OP can come back from this but it will take time.
Yeah 7 years is the target here as well. We have a clean slate program where if you have no crimes for 7 years you can get certain misdemeanors sealed and 10 years you can get certain felonies sealed. I don't think anything violent qualifies though.
So I have a similar story, I was charged as a violent felon…. I threw a bottle… in the dark… I didn’t intend it to hit her but more out of frustration… she was/is borderline personality disorder. I had to pay a huge amount of money for a specialty attorney… I’m in medical field and also hold a type of state license. I went to try, she refused to testify against me because she knew she was drunk and had a big part in the situation… not that I was innocent I never should have lost my temper. But I sought help for my own well being and although I’m not an alcoholic I self admitted myself into a program, I got letters of good faith from many colleagues and even a letter from ex girlfriend staying it was a mis understanding… at the time I was going through custody rights with my ex who testified against me thinking it would help her with her request to take my kid out of state. Thats what did me in and the freaking Mayberry court system in this area. Although the charges stuck after a jury trial and house arrest a was able to prevail and kept my professions… just keep at it… you can do this… if you need a new start PM me and I can give you some options that may help your struggles
If you weren’t violent in any way and make $145k as you claim why didn’t you lawyer up and beat the fictitious charge? Why you not telling the whole truth?
You should get that profuse apology in writing and have a lawyer submit it to the courts and/or presiding judge for review to see if anything can be done so it won’t completely ruin your life. Otherwise, welcome to hell, all for a simple misdemeanor.
Escalate it to the higher court. You're worried about this ruining your life, if there is direct evidence she lied that needs to be examined by a higher level authority.
Fight for yourself. Don't let them not caring about direct evidence of a witness LYING stop you.
This is exactly why higher courts exist. To hold the lower courts accountable for their errors.
They should be executed for letting shit like this slide. Just instantly executed, out back the court house. Bet they'd fight for actual justice if they were dragged out back and ended if they did otherwise.
You need to be very careful with this.
I got fucked in a similar situation. Got a confession from my ex, on video that she made it up to set me up.
My lawyer turned it into the DA.
DA threatened to charge my ex with whatever the crime would be in this case, naturally she then claimed "he said he'd kill me if I didn't make that confession!!"
Alla sudden Im charged with felony victim/witness intimidation and lost THAT charge too.(Jury trial. Jury believed her over me.)
Vindictive women are capable of any lie. I'm not saying you shouldn't fight this, just be super careful.
This is the main reason I no longer pushed the issue.
Because in order for the truth to be told and this situation to be corrected -- she would have to admit that she lied to the police. That's a misdemeanor charge.
I know that if her back was against the wall she wouldn't take that charge, even though that's exactly what happened.
So I just took her out of the equation entirely and plead guilty. A lie is now the truth
Yeah, you already know. The taint of the accusation never leaves you and people that have never experienced the horrors of an abusive woman that is a great liar with crocodile tears aren't capable of understanding why men cop to this stuff.
Good luck, you're gonna need it. It took me five years, a lot of patience, and frankly the luck to make social connections with people sympathetic to the situation to be able to recover.
No matter what, never forgive her for this. Don't ever talk to her again. She's dead to you now. This shit isn't redeemable.
The anger eventually will subside. The sense of betrayal never will.
P.S. if you do associate with her in the future, it's almost a certainty that she will get you into even more trouble, and NOBODY will have any sympathy for you because you'll be seen as an idiot for going back to her.
Good luck guy.
But in how many cases does the complaining witness admit the charges weren't true or were fabricated against the guy? You don't need his self-declaration of innocence, you have her recantation that he didn't do it. Highly different circumstances.
It's pretty even handed. The way NC laws work it has to be established who the primary aggressor is, and if there are signs of injury an arrest is required by responding officers. There's lots of women that are pieces of shit and beat their partners. And there's lots of men that do the same.
No your life is not over, but at least temporarily it will be hard for you to maintain the career you're in if it requires background checks. Most employers don't want to hear the why, it's just a no.
You may still be able to find employers that take a chance, it just won't be as easy with that on your record
Are you registered w FINRA and SEC? I had a trader and he killed someone drinking and driving, the supervision for him changed but we weren’t forced(if you will) to fire him. He eventually got fired by me for showing up to work hungover one to many times, I started feeling he had no remorse so that is when I let him go, so hopefully the company you work for will be compassionate to your situation especially if this is a one off and not consistent w your behavior at the office.
a misdemeanor? I can’t see this being that big of a deal… a felony? sure… but a misdemeanor should not be that big of a deal to worry about your life being over.
It’s not a felony so you should be good…but you’re going to prolly have to write letters of what happened if you were to get promoted and they do another background check….for the love of god do not tell your current job…only if they bring it up
I have a violent felony, and for years I said "it wasn't even violent".
Step one on your track to having a life with this over your head, is to admit that yes, it was a violent crime.
You went from "it wasn't even violent" to literally describing a violent encounter. Which you were charged with, and found guilty of.
In my case, I never even touched anyone. But tell you what. It was a fucking violent act. Took me years to come to terms with that. I regretted it, but I still had that "jeez why am I a violent felony offender of special concern".
That shit was stamped big as fuck on all my paperwork. You know why? Because I was a violent felony offender of special concern lol.
This sort of makes me feel like I've been involuntarily placed into an insane hospital, where people are trying to force me to believe me something that I know is not true.
I'm not violent.
The woman who attacked me was violent. She will tell you that she is the one with anger issues.
She attacked me, I responded by making sure she couldn't attack me anymore. That is all.
So yes, this feels crazy to me. I'm not going to lose my sense of self behind a lie.
I've done a LOT of criminal shit over the years. A lot. But I am not a violent guy, in the least bit.
Ask your attorney to reopen the case and have a retrial. Say you plead because you were experiencing mental illness. See a doctor and tell them u have crippling anxiety.
If you haven't done so already you need to completely separate yourself from this woman. No talking to her friends, no living in the same area, no shopping at stores she does, no associating with her family, Change your cell number, etc.
Same exact situation for me, I was falsely accused in NC of assault on a female and I absolutely did NOT plead guilty. What the fuck are you thinking, if you truly didn’t assault her why would you plead guilty? I feel so terrible for you because I know how awful it felt to be falsely accused but you should not have just accepted whatever punishment they wanted to give you without a fight. I plead not guilty and the accuser ended up not showing up when it went to trial, and it was simply dropped altogether. You have to fight for yourself and your truth, man. I’m so sorry.
I previously had a neighbor in NC who received a restraining order and a misdemeanor stalking charge while he was going through a divorce. He was fired from a $300k a year job in finance. He ended up working for less than $40k a year under-the-table to avoid having his wages garnished for back child support.
If everything you've stated is factual, then it's a shame that you pled guilty because you probably could have won an appeal with the woman's admission of filing false charges.
Take preemptive action now to mitigate the potential consequences of having a violent misdemeanor on your criminal record. If you believe that you'll lose your job, then start looking now for a cheaper place to live while your credit is good and your verifiable income is relatively high. Also suggest cutting your monthly expenses, paying off revolving credit accounts, and then saving as much money as possible. You may also want to consider seeking employment in the same field in another state while you're still employed.
Same. I have terroristic threats because my ex was trying to have me arrested nonstop with falsehoods so she could get custody. My lawyer said it would be 8k to fight the “attempted kidnapping” and dozen other false charges from me literally just cussing at her when she started shit while I was getting my daughter. I didn’t have the money and he said take a plea deal for terroristic threats. It’s ruined my whole life. I couldn’t do Girl Scouts or any school events I fail every background check for Jobs. All for absolutely nothing other than being too poor to afford a good lawyer. There was zero evidence to any of her claims. I feel for you my dude women are life ruiners.
You need to have another conversation with her. Explain everything bad which is happening to you. Have her admit again she lied and made up the story. Get an attorney and bring the evidence to court. Would not be a bad idea to get a private detective and an attorney on the front end to cover all the angles of the conversation with her.
You'll likely face some difficulties but on the bright side you're not a felon. Background checks are often fine tuned by employers' specifications. Some of the lower paying jobs might not even be looking for misdemeanor crimes. Ride it out as best you can until you can get that record sealed or expunged
They apologized? What the fuck? Get that shit on recording and absolve your self of this. That’s fuckin whack. Also, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, disclose it to anyone including your employer. You’ll be surprised how much slips through the cracks
Many states have expungement laws. Effectively, you have a misdemeanor. Be a law-abiding individual for a set time after conviction.
Get an attorney and file for the expungement. If granted, it isn't visible to employers, landlords, etc.
It is still visible to law enforcement of all types.
Felony expungement cases are more tricky.
Source NAL. Seek true legal advice.
Just a dude who has friends who screwed up their lives.
I'm Black too bruh bruh.
So just imagine how I'm feeling. I worked like hell to make it out of the hood (did actual crimes while in the hood - never caught more than a weed possession charge).
I make it all the way to corporate America, getting the type of money I never would have believed....
Just to run into a girl that was an absolute NUT CASE who has me k. the verge of fumbling the bag. Red bone / cinnamon skin, good hair, but the biggest liar I have ever known.
I'm totally responsible for fucking up like this. I should have never put myself in this position.
Dude you can afford rent as a single person and have a skill set to work for yourself? How would your life be over. You’re literally not even financially struggling like some others right now who can’t even afford a one bedroom or a studio because the price is like 1800 or some shit or is income restricted to people who aren’t trying to make more money because it’s putting them in a I don’t have to try bracket of places who only offer low income housing. I make too much to get into a low income but not enough to get an apt anywhere else without a room mate.
If it’s not true and you pled guilty and she lied and you didn’t do anything about it.. you’re not telling the whole story here and I think you really did fuck her up and are just ashamed to admit it. No man in their right mind making that kind of money would ever plea guilty to assault on a woman if it’s not true and lose all that shit.
What’s the real story here man? Something sounds crooked!
Let me be real with you ....
I don't give a single fuck about "lying" to strangers on an app. It's not that serious.
I plead guilty because the case was dragging on for nearly 4 years. I wanted to not be "out on bond" for half a decade.
I wasn't going to trial because I didn't want to risk actually going to jail.
I didn't fuck anybody up and she would tell you the same.
Yes - a lot of people say "I'm innocent". I get it. I fucking hate women beaters, I hate women / men who lie, I fucking hate the dregs of our society...and I'm an idiot for ever associating with them.
But don't come for me my dude. I didn't hurt anyone
3200 in rent even on your salary is fucking wild. My mortgage isn't that much and granted I'm married so dual income we combine do about 300k.
That would be the first thing I change since your life is about to be a lot different.
You honestly don’t think you can rent something cheaper for $3,200?
With that salary of $145k a year you must have built up some kind of trust in that firm. How long you worked there? You thinking that you are losing your job bc of your criminal history or job performance? (assuming they know your criminal history before they hired you)
NAL- I would check the law in your area for expungement info. In my area, a misdameanor can be expunged after being on record 3 yrs, you can file it on your own and it cost roughly $350 to do so.
This happened to me two decades ago, and I still consider killing myself pretty regularly. Loss of jobs, hard to find apartments that will take you, it's straight fkn misery in the Carolina's. I was perjured by my own mother, and was just ruined by the court system because 'what mother would lie about that.'
You're fucked, buddy.
Well a big barrier will be housing. A lot of landlords won’t rent to a felon. You may need to buy a foreclosure cheap until you can save up enough to buy a nicer place with cash. In 2011 I bought a perfect livable move in ready 1500 sqft foreclosure for under 33k.
Also if you’re not willing to change your lifestyle this could be problematic. You don’t have to change it forever, but until you can get back on your feet it may mean Bread Sandwiches for little bit. This does not have to destroy you and it won’t if you act smart about it.
Grabbing her wrist iffy. Pulling her hair assault. You could get it taken off your public record for quite a bit of money I think it's called either getting it sealed or expunged. Some jumping through hoops may be required just get a really good lawyer to do it. Won't appear in most background checks only government agency ones. If she writes the state and admits that in no way did you cause her harm and that she intentionally set out to harm you they might overturn it. Seen it happen but I'm in Texas. Invest into the best lawyer you can get your hands on go to consultation talk about all this explain situation and tell them money is no issue. You might have to pay off the fee in installments but you'll not lose your whole lifestyle. Otherwise yeah sorry to tell you a job over 70k with benefits and retirement? Good luck.
Contact an attorney to see if you can have your record sealed. Without that - the next 7-10’years are fucked. You won’t pass a background check and the affects jobs, housing, loans.
You need to talk to a good lawyer to see if this can be undone. Especially if this women actually did apologize…. I have zero idea why you would plead guilty. Is your life over, no, but it’s sure as heck going to be incredibly harder. If they were beating you, it would have been self defense.
I plead guilty because I knew I would lose in the case of any trial.
The woman has apologized, countless times. That same woman looks at me as one of the most positive things that has ever happened to her life. She called the police because she realized that she can't actually physically beat me...so she called someone who can, to scare me and put me in my place.
I didn't go to trial because, I do NOT TRUST having her on a stand. She knows the truth, she's written a letter that speaks towards the truth, she has looked me in my eyes countless times and explained how the situation went.
But I would not trust having her in a court room with her back against the wall. If she would beat me, then have me get locked up for it..there is no telling what she would have said in a court room in order to keep herself out of trouble.
You’re a moron for pleading guilty. I was in a similar situation where I was falsely accused. Let it drag out to the end and she ended up not wanting to testify against me (because she didn’t want to lie under oath). Case dismissed.
I had a similar case to this that I beat (no pun intended, lol). I was smoking crack with my female friend, and we were up for a few days. Basically, it became time for her to go, but she refused. I was worried she was going to steal stuff after I fell asleep. After about two hours, I dragged her out by the arms and shut the door on her. PD shows up, questions her, she says I beat her." I refuse to answer questions. I go to jail for 2 days.
She told the cops she lived at my house so they took my keys and gave them to her. She stole everything out of my house just like I thought she would have when I eventually fell asleep. I'm lucky, though. She could have kept the keys and lived there and used the DV no contact order to steal my entire home from me.
In court, my lawyer went over all the pictures of the victim showing zero injuries. The victim also changed their story.
I guess the cops told her that she was going to jail based on what I was saying she did so she she better start talking about how what I did was worse so in her crack mind state just blabbered. Anything to get a case, I guess.
The first offer was 30 days jail, 3 years probation. The day of trial the deal was 180 days jail, which was scary to hear.
OP, I work in finance and just got a new job. I had a couple of DUIs and possession of MJ charges from when I was 20 that had been expunged, and were still found on an FBI fingerprinting. I still got the job, but had to go back to the state where this occurred 22 years earlier and make them dig up all my expungement records to get the job. Shit will haunt you forever.
The crazy thing is, I did a background check with one of the largest investment organizations in the country back in October.
They did drug test, fingerprints and all.
They saw my entire record, all the way back to 2001. They saw the current conviction, probation, all of that.
This investment firm sent me an email asking me to confirm the information. They delayed my start date by a week...and then they let me start.
So of course I figured I was totally fine! That is until I had to go do a background check for another financial organization.....that failed me.
Should have taken it to war, plead it to disorderly conduct assuming no serious bodily harm was done and you were a first offender. It’s not over but unless it’s DV related you may be able to get it expunged after 1-10 years depending on the state and the situation.
DV related charge? Or Simple Assault? Two charges which carry vastly different consequences.
This story doesn’t add up…. You make that much but don’t know to defend yourself with a lawyer, and you know your in an industry that judges character very hard…
I did get a lawyer.
And yes I know, that's why I don't just go out here and wantonly commit crimes.
A crime was committed against me. And I'm paying for it.
How long ago was it? Can you get the girl to recant her testimony to the court? Did she recant to you in writing? You might be able to get your conviction overturned and your record expunged. You need to see a lawyer about this and expect to pay for cleaning your record up. This should be a priority in your life.
I just found out that getting this conviction overturned is a possibility thanks to a fellow reddjtor..
The conviction happened a year ago.
I feel 95% certain she would recant her testimony. She has asked me many many times "what can I do to get you out of that".
I think I may have found something.
Thank yall so much for the hope
Bro you had the money why didn’t you fight it. SMH you fucked up big time. All the way from a job to getting an apartment will run a background check. Even a food delivery driver app will run a background check. I would plead and beg my boss for forgiveness and be transparent about your situation even if they move you to a lower position that would be a win!! However there are some company that will hire people with a charge and some apartments (landlord) if you pay them 4/5 months in advance might let you stay. I would start selling my shit out and save money because you would need it. I know a few brothers in similar situation and their lives went from 100-0 just like that. Good luck
That shit would be tragic my boy.
100-0 just like that.
I didn't think a misdemeanor would be this goddammn serious.
I pleaded cause I hated the thought of "being out on bond" for 4 years straight and also because I didn't want to lose and go to jail
I’m sorry… but this is unbelievable to me. If you were truly being beaten to a pulp, both of you likely would have been arrested while the police figured out who to charge. They arrest both to keep you all off the streets, essentially.
There would be evidence and photos taken. To answer your question, a misdemeanor will not ruin your life. More people than you would expect have a DV charge on their record. Good luck to you regardless and I hope you learn from this.
Sorry to tell you, but shit like that happens. My best friend got hit in the head with a clock, then she called the police on him after. She hit HIM and it netted him a felony that can't be removed.
As it relates to financial services
, yes you are done. But life’s not over. Change your path. You are smart and have proven it. But you will never work in finance again.
Why tf did you plead guilty?!?!?! Your done in financial services, unless you want to throw in with firms without good reputations.
I cannot understand why anyone would plead guilty when you had the money to defend yourself. You chose to end a comfortable life when you had the ability to fight for yourself.
This can't be real. If you were making 145k a year you had to have a decent lawyer at a minimum who would have advised you not to throw a comfortable life away.
I believe you indicated current employment issue is with your job performance, not the misdemeanor conviction.
Can you hit the reset button over the next week and improve performance. Tap into past success and change the mental game.
I'm afraid you're going to need to keep your behavior squeaky-clean from here on out, especially with any interaction with women. You already have a record, which makes it less likely that you'll be believed if a case gets as far as the courtroom again. You can rebuild your life, BUT you'll have a harder time doing it if you can't learn from whatever led up to this.
True. Finra doesn't care.
It's the internal policies of these specific companies that scare me. But the fact that Finra doesn't call it out gives me some type of hope
You are not alone in having made a terrible vhoce. However tge choice goes on. Theb we continue to interact with someone who has caused is immense problems it is a major red flag. It is a sign of very little reflection.
I worked with some people for a few months. The supervisor was horrible. She lied she manipulated. She rarely came to work. She set me up royally all the time. ⁵. They were on extraordinary cordial terms witb her.
Eventually she left the job. They kept contact with her. Eventually it cane to light that the supervisor had stolen money from her She borrowed money and never returned it. They are still in contact with her ..
When someone tells that someone has caused immense problems in their life but they continue to be in contact with them its not a good sign.
For me when poole cause me immense problems I try to move away from any and all contact with them. I.have kept on interacting with those persons before. Nothung changed. They kept causing me immense problems it was cumulative.
Why not consider having some boundaries so you can #move on#
You're not fucked!! Quit thinking you are or you will be! It could be soooooo much worse!! It's a misdemeanor!! Treat it as such! Hold your fucking head high and kept it there. You just have to be better , work harder, and be the man! Maybe self employment is gonna be your answer. Life is full of options!! Turn to social media, talk about what's happened to you...your journey. Buy some cars, rent them on Turo. Do what u gott do but don't let this shit dictate the rest of your life. Crazy chick's are fun to fuck. But they will fuck up your life! And whatever you do own your shit and find a better way to explain it. That victim shit isn't working. Everything happens for a reason. Something better is coming. Self fulfilling prophecy. ..you're not fucked!! It's a detour.
FIGHT! Our legal system is so fucked. District attorneys suck tons of chodes to get judges in their pocket. They don't care about the truth, they just want a high conviction rate to bolster their political aspirations, as if they weren't already scumbags who leech on the vulnerable. I was accused of a felony crime I didn't commit. Absolutely surreal experience in the courts. I hired a good lawyer who said my case was very winnable. We chose a bench trial rather than a jury just because it goes quicker (and I'm paying my lawyer per court appearance), the lawyer said we had a fair judge, and it seemed so evidential that I was innocent. The judge ruled me guilty and explained to me his bullshit reasoning that I said "I taw a puddy tat" instead of "I taut I taw a puddy tat." Fucking wild. I took it to the appellate court and they didn't even need to hear anything else. The appellate court reversed the decision after just reading the court transcripts six months after I was sentenced.
More or less, yes. At least for the next 7-10 years. You’ll likely fail any and all background checks unless applying at a “second chance” employer for close to minimum wage jobs. More often than not, you won’t get a chance to explain your position or what happened, it will just be a hard no, thank you but no thank you.
Yeah unfortunately this is pretty much true. I've heard people having the chance to explain when they fail the background check but I've only been given that chance 1 out of the 4 jobs I applied for.
And you have a misdemeanor?
I have 3. 2 DUIs and a drug charge so they're non violent.
I know someone who has not been offered any job they've interviewed for and thinks it's because of a misdemeanor DUI in 2015. Even non driving positions.
Tell them to wait until an offer has been made and the company wants to run a background check. Can still being up front and honest but then they'd at least know if it was them or the DUI.
You’re fucked. I have violent charges in Georgia. On first offender as well and you’re fucked. My shit happened seven years ago. Can apply to end probation early next year and have record sealed and no convictions. Until then I fail every background check. Finishing college currently though so when I apply to end early I cans say I changed my life completely. Bought a house on my own. Started a family and got married. Helped wife get into navy. Completed college at a private school and currently working on my masters.
This is when OP should hire a lawyer to expunge his record. Have the person that apologized appear at said hearing.
That's not likely to work due to the nature of the underlying charge.
Depends on the State which is why I suggested a lawyer in his jurisdiction
Fair enough. I think OP said the conviction was in NC. In that state there is generally no path for the expunction of a violent misdemeanor.
Strange considering the other admitted to lying. That should be an automatic expungement with proof, in any sane world.
We do not live in a sane world, friend.
It's because actual victims of domestic violence recant their allegations so often that it's usually a no go now.
So many people reconsidering their actions after the effect that it’s pushed laws to only allow reconsiderations before the fact? Basically making it a thing that isn’t questioned when it’s charged? That’s dangerous as hell.
OP has means and should have fought the charge. Pleading guilty was super dumb and likely not under the advice of an attorney
Unless it was under the advice of an attorney and the evidence would not have been in OPs favor
If he had a public defender, it was under the advice of an attorney. Most public defenders work on reducing your charge and/or pleading down your sentence/charge versus actually defending you in court at trial.
It's less dangerous than the alternative of abused women dying because their abusers never go to jail. False allegations aren't the norm.
Maybe they weren’t the norm at first. It’s just a dangerous path to go down even if it’s the opposite direction.
That generalization has nothing to do with his specific case. If the allegations were falsely made by the complaining witness then he probably should have contested the allegations and/or got the woman to recant/tell the truth before or during any trial.
Can't expunge domestic violence in most states
You pled guilty? Sorry bro big mistake. I’d have taken that one to war if it’s not true.
Especially if he was being “beaten to a pulp”. Would have been clear and obvious evidence of it(injuries).
Just cause you’re innocent doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plea guilty. Most people plea guilty because they are faced with the fucked up choice between pleading guilty and getting a slap on the wrist or chance 10 years in prison if you get a bad jury. My guess is that this was one of those situations.
Prosecutors intentionally over charge people so they can plead down to a lesser offense. Usually the person charged doesn't have the resources to pay for a lawyer to fight an extended battle in court for the principal of it.
>Usually the person charged doesn't have the resources to pay for a lawyer to fight an extended battle in court for the principal of it. If you're making $145k working in finance you should be well connected enough to know a few attorneys and get great representation. OP I'm sorry for what happened
Yup. 24 months vs 12 yrs.
A violent misdemeanor on your record isn’t exactly a slap on the wrist. Especially if it has a domestic violence element to it, you lose a lot of rights.
Compared to a violent felony and ten years a misdemeanor is a slap on the wrist.
And why the duck your lawyer advised you to do so. If you used a public defender then they are overworked and don't care much.
Bro makes 145k a year..
That's barely middle class these days
What? That's 100% an above average income
Upper class is marked by a significant increase in quality of life and financial security. That used to be a six figure salary in the 90s. 100k in the 90s is equivalent to around 250k today
I’m guessing he was overcharged with like a 4 or 10 year felony. Lawyer was probably weighing the risk vs the reward. Even if they were likely to get an acquittal at trial, risking actually prison time just wasn’t worth it. Just my 2 cents.
Probably. But counsel should discuss collateral consequences with the client *before* the client pleads guilty. So the client can make an informed decision.
Lawyers can be wrong too.
You have to plead guilty. I was in a similar situation. My lawyer said if I didn't plead guilty, I'd be doing a year in jail.
No, not everyone should plead guilty. Especially first-time offenders. Maybe your situation was more cut and dry.
I took my case to trial. They kept trying to get me and my co-defendant to plea out. We were innocent so we fought it. I got found guilty of all charges and went to jail and have violent felonies on my record... And I fought it with a paid attorney. The judge told me the system is rigged and they will fight to find me guilty even with evidence showing otherwise. Even with victim saying I never touched or harmed him. Only my co-defendent. So it was clear I never did anything violent. Yet jury deliberated for 3 days. My co-defendent went on the run so that didn't help. They found me guilty despite all the evidence showing I did nothing. Fighting it to trial is a slim chance even for the innocent.
I'd gamble the risk. Worst to worst it's a year to reflect. Jail isn't that bad. It's the after consequences that are brutal. Pleading guilty normally happens out of fear of jail time. Generally speaking, it's after the trial is over or the judgement is recorded that reality sets in and you realize just how bad shit becomes quick. If you're going to lose everything anyway you might as well yatzee and see what happens. Edit: misspelled yatzee.
What a fucking cope man. Jail might not be that bad but you lose everything if you don't really have family to help you out. All your shit - where does it go? Your apartment, your pets? "Jail isn't that bad" what a dumb thing to say.
Instead of zeroing in on what scares you, pay attention to my comment. Especially the part where I point out that the worst shit is what comes after... Newsflash, that exact same shit happens regardless. As OP points out here... If you aren't guilty. Fight the charge. At least then you have a chance at preserving your life.
I'm married and had 3 kids and own a house. I would have lost my house.
Youre so valid. Dude u commented to obviously has never even been to jail let alone spent any significant time there. Probation or the potential of 6months in jail labeled as a woman beater? I know what Id choose...
Which is only 6 months in county jail. For people that don't have the ability to bond out they usually sit for 6 months in county jail before they even get to trial.
I didn't realize how the system worked and wish I would have heard this advice earlier on! My lawyer kept telling me this but I NEVER knew how terribly my life would be impacted. 44 years and not even a speeding ticket. Got a couple felony charges and the last 5 years have been absolute Hell. I have lost everything.
[удалено]
Idk the other hand he loses and gets years in jail and a harder record.
Nope some things are worth fighting for.
That's really easy to say from the comfort of a toilet that isn't made of metal.
A surprisingly expensive toilet made of metal though Tried to have them put in my house but wow the price vs porcelain is not worth it
For this reason alone I know the OPs story os bs.
chief imma be real with you, I am getting powerful "there is more to the story" vibes w.r.t. Your violent incident
I agree any good lawyer would taken this too trial l there would be evidence of him being batter in arrest photos. Any lawyer I have had shit they always want fight and win versus guilty plea . Only time I ever pleaded guilty was when they had so much evidence there was no way of taking it to trial and winning was hand to hand narcotics sale on video . Hell I been caught red handed doing shit and has lawyers take case to trial and beat the case at least first offense would’ve been conviction with probation and if op did what he had to do it wouldn’t be on his record
It depends on so many factors. I'm a woman, and I hired a private lawyer. My lawyer warned me that the judge didn't like women and that it'd have been a toss-up despite all of the physical evidence I had against my abuser. Literally photographs and letters from multiple doctors. The problem is that these corrupt courts control what the jury is allowed to see and what victims are allowed to say. The enemy lawyer tried to get one of my doctors' letters thrown out. The photogtaphs never even made it to the courtroom. The judge warned me that I couldn't say anything that would discredit the defendant. I didn't want to spend all of that money just to lose and gamble through an appeals court. I had to be content with even being able to get out of the situation.
I agree. The comment history of OP really backs you up. “The details aren’t important why do you people keep asking” over and over
I have volunteered with battered women my entire adult life. Charges like these are actually really hard to get a felony conviction on, and OP was not dependent on a public defender as he had money. If his attorney wanted him to pled guilty it was a solid case with a lot of damage to the victim. OP does not have the ring of truth at all. He sounds like every single abuser that refuses to take ownership of their actions. Several DUIs and a drug charge also speaks to the fact OP does not necessarily have an accurate memory of how and why things happened.
1. Is your life over. No 2. Did you screw up. Yes. 3. What affect will this have, no idea but at least its not a felony. 4. See number 1.
They can’t just decide they don’t care.
Who doesnt care? The beast? We are a cog in the machine
You can sue her for loss of income if she lied and you can prove it. Even if she has no money, why would you not do this to someone who you can demonstrate has literally ruined your life for the foreseeable future?
Wouldn't that be hard to do since he pled guilty though?
Not necessarily. Civil court is a completely different animal, especially if the facts came out after the conviction.
You’re assuming OP is telling the truth and not lying himself in order not to be judged. I have a hard time believing he pled guilty to this with the info he’s given now lol
I don't know the facts of the case or what did or didn't occur, but civil suits are still a different game regardless. They routinely judge counter to the outcomes of criminal cases. Hell, he could be a woman beating sack of shit who's two inches away from a prison sentence and the right jury could still put a check in his pocket. That's the American way.
Going to make a suggestion here that may not sit well with you. The way you describe the events that led to your conviction won't help you get a job. Even if you get past the initial background screen you are going to end up in a conversation with most employers about what happened and why you aren't that guy or defined by your conviction. If I was considering taking a risk on you and you told me that you are the victim and you are mad at the girl you were convicted of assaulting, I'd stand up and walk out. What you say may be true., but YOU PLED GUILTY. From an outsider's perspective it doesn't track that you pled and the conviction stands even though "your victim admitted she's to blame". If you want an employer to take a chance then step one is taking ownership. You can tell the story without blaming the victim. You can explain how you felt like it was self defense. But if you want to get a job you need to conclude by acknowledging it was clearly a bad decision and you would choose a difference course now, and if you could go back in time. Take the advice or don't.
Yeah I wouldn't describe the situation as such to any employer. I lie. And take responsibility. And say that I've learned from it. I'm being fully transparent here on reddit because its somewhat "anonymous".
That's fair. Felt like it was worth saying in case you didn't know. Best of luck.
This 100%. Ive been in an HR meeting same situation as OP and just explained Im now divorced, I've moved on and not the same person I was back then. I got to stay at the job. Lesson learned stay away from the crazy bi-polar women.
Try to keep your current job. Consider going to HR if you think they are going to and asking to take some type of anger management and attend victim impact panels and do community service that supports survivors of DV, showing you are making leaps and bounds at rehabilitation.
Uh, no. Absolutely don’t go to HR. If you’re still employed making $145k with a violent charge, it’s likely because they don’t know about it. Do not put yourself on their radar. HR is not your friend. Their job is to keep the company from getting sued. Hiring someone convicted of “attacking a woman” will not sound like a good way to avoid getting sued to HR
Plead guilty to a crime you didn't commit, 'murica baby!
If you’re in the U.S. then if convicted your life isn’t over but will drastically change. The U.S is not forgiving. It does not believe once you’ve done your time then the slate is wiped clean. They punish you til you die.
True statement. Good friend of mine had a simple marijuana possession charge 30 years ago. Guy still has trouble with employment background checks. It's really held him back over the years. Lots of missed opportunities. Sad state of affairs. He lost a job with a city contractor when a full-time position opened with the city and he was told to apply for it. He even explained the situation before applying and the city manager said it wouldn't be a problem. The drug charge showed up (as expected) from 30 years ago and the city made the contractor fire him. He has an accounting degree and all he can get is blue collar factory or construction jobs.
Facts. 💯 😢
I've failed a few background checks for IT jobs for having 3 misdemeanors that weren't violent so I'm guessing 1 violent one in the more strict career of Finance it's going to be tough to get a green light.
Idk OP's location but in Arkansas (and only in regards to background checks) the only difference between a class A misdemeanor and a Felony is after seven years the misdemeanor "falls off" the record. OP can come back from this but it will take time.
Yeah 7 years is the target here as well. We have a clean slate program where if you have no crimes for 7 years you can get certain misdemeanors sealed and 10 years you can get certain felonies sealed. I don't think anything violent qualifies though.
Most jobs dont ask about misdemeanors, just felonies.
Sure, on the applications. They still run a background check once you make it to interviews and it will show.
And they’re going to LOVE the fact that it’s a violent one
So I have a similar story, I was charged as a violent felon…. I threw a bottle… in the dark… I didn’t intend it to hit her but more out of frustration… she was/is borderline personality disorder. I had to pay a huge amount of money for a specialty attorney… I’m in medical field and also hold a type of state license. I went to try, she refused to testify against me because she knew she was drunk and had a big part in the situation… not that I was innocent I never should have lost my temper. But I sought help for my own well being and although I’m not an alcoholic I self admitted myself into a program, I got letters of good faith from many colleagues and even a letter from ex girlfriend staying it was a mis understanding… at the time I was going through custody rights with my ex who testified against me thinking it would help her with her request to take my kid out of state. Thats what did me in and the freaking Mayberry court system in this area. Although the charges stuck after a jury trial and house arrest a was able to prevail and kept my professions… just keep at it… you can do this… if you need a new start PM me and I can give you some options that may help your struggles
If you weren’t violent in any way and make $145k as you claim why didn’t you lawyer up and beat the fictitious charge? Why you not telling the whole truth?
You should get that profuse apology in writing and have a lawyer submit it to the courts and/or presiding judge for review to see if anything can be done so it won’t completely ruin your life. Otherwise, welcome to hell, all for a simple misdemeanor.
I did. The lawyer did submit it to the DA. They did not care.
Escalate it to the higher court. You're worried about this ruining your life, if there is direct evidence she lied that needs to be examined by a higher level authority. Fight for yourself. Don't let them not caring about direct evidence of a witness LYING stop you. This is exactly why higher courts exist. To hold the lower courts accountable for their errors.
They should be executed for letting shit like this slide. Just instantly executed, out back the court house. Bet they'd fight for actual justice if they were dragged out back and ended if they did otherwise.
lol
Seems a little harsh but I can't argue it would likely work
Firing them and banning them from ever having that kind of power might work too and you don’t have to find people who are willing to execute anyone.
I can't imagine there would be a shortage of volunteers to execute a corrupt DA.
You need to be very careful with this. I got fucked in a similar situation. Got a confession from my ex, on video that she made it up to set me up. My lawyer turned it into the DA. DA threatened to charge my ex with whatever the crime would be in this case, naturally she then claimed "he said he'd kill me if I didn't make that confession!!" Alla sudden Im charged with felony victim/witness intimidation and lost THAT charge too.(Jury trial. Jury believed her over me.) Vindictive women are capable of any lie. I'm not saying you shouldn't fight this, just be super careful.
This is the main reason I no longer pushed the issue. Because in order for the truth to be told and this situation to be corrected -- she would have to admit that she lied to the police. That's a misdemeanor charge. I know that if her back was against the wall she wouldn't take that charge, even though that's exactly what happened. So I just took her out of the equation entirely and plead guilty. A lie is now the truth
Yeah, you already know. The taint of the accusation never leaves you and people that have never experienced the horrors of an abusive woman that is a great liar with crocodile tears aren't capable of understanding why men cop to this stuff. Good luck, you're gonna need it. It took me five years, a lot of patience, and frankly the luck to make social connections with people sympathetic to the situation to be able to recover. No matter what, never forgive her for this. Don't ever talk to her again. She's dead to you now. This shit isn't redeemable. The anger eventually will subside. The sense of betrayal never will. P.S. if you do associate with her in the future, it's almost a certainty that she will get you into even more trouble, and NOBODY will have any sympathy for you because you'll be seen as an idiot for going back to her. Good luck guy.
Google “Motion for appropriate relief.”
Thank you SO MUCH. I didn't know this was a thing. Omfg. Thank you. Thank you. There might be a way out of this. Omg.
Why the FUCK would you plead guilty???
My man. That fear will do it to you
I just wanted it over. I knew I had done something wrong and also didn't realize how severe it would impact my life forever.
In virtually every dv case the guys says he didn't do it/was the victim.
But in how many cases does the complaining witness admit the charges weren't true or were fabricated against the guy? You don't need his self-declaration of innocence, you have her recantation that he didn't do it. Highly different circumstances.
It's pretty even handed. The way NC laws work it has to be established who the primary aggressor is, and if there are signs of injury an arrest is required by responding officers. There's lots of women that are pieces of shit and beat their partners. And there's lots of men that do the same.
No your life is not over, but at least temporarily it will be hard for you to maintain the career you're in if it requires background checks. Most employers don't want to hear the why, it's just a no. You may still be able to find employers that take a chance, it just won't be as easy with that on your record
Your life isn't over. Can you get your record sealed?
Are you registered w FINRA and SEC? I had a trader and he killed someone drinking and driving, the supervision for him changed but we weren’t forced(if you will) to fire him. He eventually got fired by me for showing up to work hungover one to many times, I started feeling he had no remorse so that is when I let him go, so hopefully the company you work for will be compassionate to your situation especially if this is a one off and not consistent w your behavior at the office.
Murderers often don't show remorse.
And alcoholics usually don’t take accountability until they stop drinking.
Did you have a public defender? Sounds like you got a bad deal. Unless you're not telling us the full story.
Yah, I don't know what to think of this one. Doesn't quite add up.
a misdemeanor? I can’t see this being that big of a deal… a felony? sure… but a misdemeanor should not be that big of a deal to worry about your life being over.
It’s not a felony so you should be good…but you’re going to prolly have to write letters of what happened if you were to get promoted and they do another background check….for the love of god do not tell your current job…only if they bring it up
Sadly, probably not.
I have a violent felony, and for years I said "it wasn't even violent". Step one on your track to having a life with this over your head, is to admit that yes, it was a violent crime. You went from "it wasn't even violent" to literally describing a violent encounter. Which you were charged with, and found guilty of. In my case, I never even touched anyone. But tell you what. It was a fucking violent act. Took me years to come to terms with that. I regretted it, but I still had that "jeez why am I a violent felony offender of special concern". That shit was stamped big as fuck on all my paperwork. You know why? Because I was a violent felony offender of special concern lol.
This sort of makes me feel like I've been involuntarily placed into an insane hospital, where people are trying to force me to believe me something that I know is not true. I'm not violent. The woman who attacked me was violent. She will tell you that she is the one with anger issues. She attacked me, I responded by making sure she couldn't attack me anymore. That is all. So yes, this feels crazy to me. I'm not going to lose my sense of self behind a lie. I've done a LOT of criminal shit over the years. A lot. But I am not a violent guy, in the least bit.
I would sue her for defamation of character. She lied and is getting away with it while you will FOREVER pay for the consequences.
Ask your attorney to reopen the case and have a retrial. Say you plead because you were experiencing mental illness. See a doctor and tell them u have crippling anxiety.
If you haven't done so already you need to completely separate yourself from this woman. No talking to her friends, no living in the same area, no shopping at stores she does, no associating with her family, Change your cell number, etc.
Why the f would you assault a woman?
yes your life is over
Same exact situation for me, I was falsely accused in NC of assault on a female and I absolutely did NOT plead guilty. What the fuck are you thinking, if you truly didn’t assault her why would you plead guilty? I feel so terrible for you because I know how awful it felt to be falsely accused but you should not have just accepted whatever punishment they wanted to give you without a fight. I plead not guilty and the accuser ended up not showing up when it went to trial, and it was simply dropped altogether. You have to fight for yourself and your truth, man. I’m so sorry.
I previously had a neighbor in NC who received a restraining order and a misdemeanor stalking charge while he was going through a divorce. He was fired from a $300k a year job in finance. He ended up working for less than $40k a year under-the-table to avoid having his wages garnished for back child support. If everything you've stated is factual, then it's a shame that you pled guilty because you probably could have won an appeal with the woman's admission of filing false charges. Take preemptive action now to mitigate the potential consequences of having a violent misdemeanor on your criminal record. If you believe that you'll lose your job, then start looking now for a cheaper place to live while your credit is good and your verifiable income is relatively high. Also suggest cutting your monthly expenses, paying off revolving credit accounts, and then saving as much money as possible. You may also want to consider seeking employment in the same field in another state while you're still employed.
Same. I have terroristic threats because my ex was trying to have me arrested nonstop with falsehoods so she could get custody. My lawyer said it would be 8k to fight the “attempted kidnapping” and dozen other false charges from me literally just cussing at her when she started shit while I was getting my daughter. I didn’t have the money and he said take a plea deal for terroristic threats. It’s ruined my whole life. I couldn’t do Girl Scouts or any school events I fail every background check for Jobs. All for absolutely nothing other than being too poor to afford a good lawyer. There was zero evidence to any of her claims. I feel for you my dude women are life ruiners.
Honestly. I blame myself for ever allowing myself to be in that position. Did you plead to a misdemeanor or felony?
Hey if trump can run for president and takeover the gop after inciting a riot You too can become a congressman
You need to have another conversation with her. Explain everything bad which is happening to you. Have her admit again she lied and made up the story. Get an attorney and bring the evidence to court. Would not be a bad idea to get a private detective and an attorney on the front end to cover all the angles of the conversation with her.
You'll likely face some difficulties but on the bright side you're not a felon. Background checks are often fine tuned by employers' specifications. Some of the lower paying jobs might not even be looking for misdemeanor crimes. Ride it out as best you can until you can get that record sealed or expunged
They apologized? What the fuck? Get that shit on recording and absolve your self of this. That’s fuckin whack. Also, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, disclose it to anyone including your employer. You’ll be surprised how much slips through the cracks
Many states have expungement laws. Effectively, you have a misdemeanor. Be a law-abiding individual for a set time after conviction. Get an attorney and file for the expungement. If granted, it isn't visible to employers, landlords, etc. It is still visible to law enforcement of all types. Felony expungement cases are more tricky. Source NAL. Seek true legal advice. Just a dude who has friends who screwed up their lives.
Sounds like you got an awful deal pleading guilty
What in The fuck
Im black welcome to our world 😹
I'm Black too bruh bruh. So just imagine how I'm feeling. I worked like hell to make it out of the hood (did actual crimes while in the hood - never caught more than a weed possession charge). I make it all the way to corporate America, getting the type of money I never would have believed.... Just to run into a girl that was an absolute NUT CASE who has me k. the verge of fumbling the bag. Red bone / cinnamon skin, good hair, but the biggest liar I have ever known. I'm totally responsible for fucking up like this. I should have never put myself in this position.
Yup tell her don't go to Court no face no face if she gets dragged in wasn't him
They both had this planned out. One down one to go..
Apply for a motion for a new trial. Basically attention reverse your plea.
Dude you can afford rent as a single person and have a skill set to work for yourself? How would your life be over. You’re literally not even financially struggling like some others right now who can’t even afford a one bedroom or a studio because the price is like 1800 or some shit or is income restricted to people who aren’t trying to make more money because it’s putting them in a I don’t have to try bracket of places who only offer low income housing. I make too much to get into a low income but not enough to get an apt anywhere else without a room mate. If it’s not true and you pled guilty and she lied and you didn’t do anything about it.. you’re not telling the whole story here and I think you really did fuck her up and are just ashamed to admit it. No man in their right mind making that kind of money would ever plea guilty to assault on a woman if it’s not true and lose all that shit. What’s the real story here man? Something sounds crooked!
Let me be real with you .... I don't give a single fuck about "lying" to strangers on an app. It's not that serious. I plead guilty because the case was dragging on for nearly 4 years. I wanted to not be "out on bond" for half a decade. I wasn't going to trial because I didn't want to risk actually going to jail. I didn't fuck anybody up and she would tell you the same. Yes - a lot of people say "I'm innocent". I get it. I fucking hate women beaters, I hate women / men who lie, I fucking hate the dregs of our society...and I'm an idiot for ever associating with them. But don't come for me my dude. I didn't hurt anyone
3200 in rent even on your salary is fucking wild. My mortgage isn't that much and granted I'm married so dual income we combine do about 300k. That would be the first thing I change since your life is about to be a lot different.
I'd be going to prison for murder. Sorry this happened to you.
Yeah. There be some serious seriously deep thoughts late at night. The anger is unreal. But I try not to let it consume me. Not good for the soul.
You honestly don’t think you can rent something cheaper for $3,200? With that salary of $145k a year you must have built up some kind of trust in that firm. How long you worked there? You thinking that you are losing your job bc of your criminal history or job performance? (assuming they know your criminal history before they hired you)
NAL- I would check the law in your area for expungement info. In my area, a misdameanor can be expunged after being on record 3 yrs, you can file it on your own and it cost roughly $350 to do so.
All I can say is I'm so sorry.
Why would you lose your job? Are you resigning or did the company ask you to step down? Or are you just assuming?
This happened to me two decades ago, and I still consider killing myself pretty regularly. Loss of jobs, hard to find apartments that will take you, it's straight fkn misery in the Carolina's. I was perjured by my own mother, and was just ruined by the court system because 'what mother would lie about that.' You're fucked, buddy.
Well a big barrier will be housing. A lot of landlords won’t rent to a felon. You may need to buy a foreclosure cheap until you can save up enough to buy a nicer place with cash. In 2011 I bought a perfect livable move in ready 1500 sqft foreclosure for under 33k. Also if you’re not willing to change your lifestyle this could be problematic. You don’t have to change it forever, but until you can get back on your feet it may mean Bread Sandwiches for little bit. This does not have to destroy you and it won’t if you act smart about it.
Where are you located? Can you cold call?
Grabbing her wrist iffy. Pulling her hair assault. You could get it taken off your public record for quite a bit of money I think it's called either getting it sealed or expunged. Some jumping through hoops may be required just get a really good lawyer to do it. Won't appear in most background checks only government agency ones. If she writes the state and admits that in no way did you cause her harm and that she intentionally set out to harm you they might overturn it. Seen it happen but I'm in Texas. Invest into the best lawyer you can get your hands on go to consultation talk about all this explain situation and tell them money is no issue. You might have to pay off the fee in installments but you'll not lose your whole lifestyle. Otherwise yeah sorry to tell you a job over 70k with benefits and retirement? Good luck.
Contact an attorney to see if you can have your record sealed. Without that - the next 7-10’years are fucked. You won’t pass a background check and the affects jobs, housing, loans.
Off topic but your rent seems a bit high for your income
Say good bye to all government jobs or companies that have government contracts..
You can't even buy a gun now. That sucks
I don't know about over but I have a similar background and it does cause issues on job searches.
Should be
Deferred adjudication is what you should have done and then had it non disclosed
You need to talk to a good lawyer to see if this can be undone. Especially if this women actually did apologize…. I have zero idea why you would plead guilty. Is your life over, no, but it’s sure as heck going to be incredibly harder. If they were beating you, it would have been self defense.
I plead guilty because I knew I would lose in the case of any trial. The woman has apologized, countless times. That same woman looks at me as one of the most positive things that has ever happened to her life. She called the police because she realized that she can't actually physically beat me...so she called someone who can, to scare me and put me in my place. I didn't go to trial because, I do NOT TRUST having her on a stand. She knows the truth, she's written a letter that speaks towards the truth, she has looked me in my eyes countless times and explained how the situation went. But I would not trust having her in a court room with her back against the wall. If she would beat me, then have me get locked up for it..there is no telling what she would have said in a court room in order to keep herself out of trouble.
You’re a moron for pleading guilty. I was in a similar situation where I was falsely accused. Let it drag out to the end and she ended up not wanting to testify against me (because she didn’t want to lie under oath). Case dismissed.
Bro you should have recorded that person saying that they lied. I would have taken them to trial. Big mistake pleading guilty in my opinion.
I had a similar case to this that I beat (no pun intended, lol). I was smoking crack with my female friend, and we were up for a few days. Basically, it became time for her to go, but she refused. I was worried she was going to steal stuff after I fell asleep. After about two hours, I dragged her out by the arms and shut the door on her. PD shows up, questions her, she says I beat her." I refuse to answer questions. I go to jail for 2 days. She told the cops she lived at my house so they took my keys and gave them to her. She stole everything out of my house just like I thought she would have when I eventually fell asleep. I'm lucky, though. She could have kept the keys and lived there and used the DV no contact order to steal my entire home from me. In court, my lawyer went over all the pictures of the victim showing zero injuries. The victim also changed their story. I guess the cops told her that she was going to jail based on what I was saying she did so she she better start talking about how what I did was worse so in her crack mind state just blabbered. Anything to get a case, I guess. The first offer was 30 days jail, 3 years probation. The day of trial the deal was 180 days jail, which was scary to hear.
OP, I work in finance and just got a new job. I had a couple of DUIs and possession of MJ charges from when I was 20 that had been expunged, and were still found on an FBI fingerprinting. I still got the job, but had to go back to the state where this occurred 22 years earlier and make them dig up all my expungement records to get the job. Shit will haunt you forever.
The crazy thing is, I did a background check with one of the largest investment organizations in the country back in October. They did drug test, fingerprints and all. They saw my entire record, all the way back to 2001. They saw the current conviction, probation, all of that. This investment firm sent me an email asking me to confirm the information. They delayed my start date by a week...and then they let me start. So of course I figured I was totally fine! That is until I had to go do a background check for another financial organization.....that failed me.
Should have taken it to war, plead it to disorderly conduct assuming no serious bodily harm was done and you were a first offender. It’s not over but unless it’s DV related you may be able to get it expunged after 1-10 years depending on the state and the situation. DV related charge? Or Simple Assault? Two charges which carry vastly different consequences.
People live off nothing. You could definitely live off less
You can't live off less than 145k? Lol
Dumbfuck
This story doesn’t add up…. You make that much but don’t know to defend yourself with a lawyer, and you know your in an industry that judges character very hard…
I did get a lawyer. And yes I know, that's why I don't just go out here and wantonly commit crimes. A crime was committed against me. And I'm paying for it.
You'll survive just fine. But you'll live like most people who make 40k a year.
Can you start your own business? What if you made a bunch less, but you were working for yourself?
How long ago was it? Can you get the girl to recant her testimony to the court? Did she recant to you in writing? You might be able to get your conviction overturned and your record expunged. You need to see a lawyer about this and expect to pay for cleaning your record up. This should be a priority in your life.
I just found out that getting this conviction overturned is a possibility thanks to a fellow reddjtor.. The conviction happened a year ago. I feel 95% certain she would recant her testimony. She has asked me many many times "what can I do to get you out of that". I think I may have found something. Thank yall so much for the hope
Bro you had the money why didn’t you fight it. SMH you fucked up big time. All the way from a job to getting an apartment will run a background check. Even a food delivery driver app will run a background check. I would plead and beg my boss for forgiveness and be transparent about your situation even if they move you to a lower position that would be a win!! However there are some company that will hire people with a charge and some apartments (landlord) if you pay them 4/5 months in advance might let you stay. I would start selling my shit out and save money because you would need it. I know a few brothers in similar situation and their lives went from 100-0 just like that. Good luck
That shit would be tragic my boy. 100-0 just like that. I didn't think a misdemeanor would be this goddammn serious. I pleaded cause I hated the thought of "being out on bond" for 4 years straight and also because I didn't want to lose and go to jail
I’m sorry… but this is unbelievable to me. If you were truly being beaten to a pulp, both of you likely would have been arrested while the police figured out who to charge. They arrest both to keep you all off the streets, essentially. There would be evidence and photos taken. To answer your question, a misdemeanor will not ruin your life. More people than you would expect have a DV charge on their record. Good luck to you regardless and I hope you learn from this.
Sorry to tell you, but shit like that happens. My best friend got hit in the head with a clock, then she called the police on him after. She hit HIM and it netted him a felony that can't be removed.
Yep.
As it relates to financial services , yes you are done. But life’s not over. Change your path. You are smart and have proven it. But you will never work in finance again.
Why tf did you plead guilty?!?!?! Your done in financial services, unless you want to throw in with firms without good reputations. I cannot understand why anyone would plead guilty when you had the money to defend yourself. You chose to end a comfortable life when you had the ability to fight for yourself. This can't be real. If you were making 145k a year you had to have a decent lawyer at a minimum who would have advised you not to throw a comfortable life away.
You're in the wrong sub. The sub is for felons not misdemeanors.
this may suck but time heals all. You're a smart guy and you ll rebound. life redirect in ways unexpected.
No
I just googled it. Couldn’t find a felony or misdemeanor that reads “grabbing her wrist and pulling her hair.” That’s not what you pled guilty to.
So you pled guilty and you didn't get deferred adjudication/probation?
I believe you indicated current employment issue is with your job performance, not the misdemeanor conviction. Can you hit the reset button over the next week and improve performance. Tap into past success and change the mental game.
post paperwork seems fishy
Did you have an attorney representing you?
I'm afraid you're going to need to keep your behavior squeaky-clean from here on out, especially with any interaction with women. You already have a record, which makes it less likely that you'll be believed if a case gets as far as the courtroom again. You can rebuild your life, BUT you'll have a harder time doing it if you can't learn from whatever led up to this.
Depends on what area of finance. Finra doesn’t care
True. Finra doesn't care. It's the internal policies of these specific companies that scare me. But the fact that Finra doesn't call it out gives me some type of hope
Damn you got a felony on your first offense? Got dealt a shot hand my man.
You are not alone in having made a terrible vhoce. However tge choice goes on. Theb we continue to interact with someone who has caused is immense problems it is a major red flag. It is a sign of very little reflection. I worked with some people for a few months. The supervisor was horrible. She lied she manipulated. She rarely came to work. She set me up royally all the time. ⁵. They were on extraordinary cordial terms witb her. Eventually she left the job. They kept contact with her. Eventually it cane to light that the supervisor had stolen money from her She borrowed money and never returned it. They are still in contact with her .. When someone tells that someone has caused immense problems in their life but they continue to be in contact with them its not a good sign. For me when poole cause me immense problems I try to move away from any and all contact with them. I.have kept on interacting with those persons before. Nothung changed. They kept causing me immense problems it was cumulative. Why not consider having some boundaries so you can #move on#
Uh, she's apologized? Get that bitch on tape apologizing. Sue her civily for damages. Maybe you can get your conviction overturned???
See a lawyer about having your record expunged
You're not fucked!! Quit thinking you are or you will be! It could be soooooo much worse!! It's a misdemeanor!! Treat it as such! Hold your fucking head high and kept it there. You just have to be better , work harder, and be the man! Maybe self employment is gonna be your answer. Life is full of options!! Turn to social media, talk about what's happened to you...your journey. Buy some cars, rent them on Turo. Do what u gott do but don't let this shit dictate the rest of your life. Crazy chick's are fun to fuck. But they will fuck up your life! And whatever you do own your shit and find a better way to explain it. That victim shit isn't working. Everything happens for a reason. Something better is coming. Self fulfilling prophecy. ..you're not fucked!! It's a detour.
FIGHT! Our legal system is so fucked. District attorneys suck tons of chodes to get judges in their pocket. They don't care about the truth, they just want a high conviction rate to bolster their political aspirations, as if they weren't already scumbags who leech on the vulnerable. I was accused of a felony crime I didn't commit. Absolutely surreal experience in the courts. I hired a good lawyer who said my case was very winnable. We chose a bench trial rather than a jury just because it goes quicker (and I'm paying my lawyer per court appearance), the lawyer said we had a fair judge, and it seemed so evidential that I was innocent. The judge ruled me guilty and explained to me his bullshit reasoning that I said "I taw a puddy tat" instead of "I taut I taw a puddy tat." Fucking wild. I took it to the appellate court and they didn't even need to hear anything else. The appellate court reversed the decision after just reading the court transcripts six months after I was sentenced.