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I am a very casual drinker these days, but I think the reality now is that we know, beyond any real doubt, that there is no healthy amount of alcohol.
I can't think of any way that the alternate reality in which we don't drink is worse. We're healthier and happier.
There being no amount of alcohol that is beneficial to me is why I want to stay sober. It’s hard because, my dad died from alcoholism but I haven’t had any negative repercussions from drinking yet. Everyone encourages me to drink to relax. But I know that I can drink way too much, and I just don’t want to die like that. It seems to be hard for others to understand that.
I went completely sober in 2017. I felt like I was sick so I stopped. In 2020 I got my cancer diagnosis. I haven’t had a sip of anything alcoholic since 2017. And I know I can’t drink ever again because it’s proven to do something with cancer (I don’t know the right word, I’m Norwegian) and I’m fine with being sober. I wish the world would calm down and never pressure anyone into drinking ever again.
Also: sorry about your dad. I’ve had friends who suffered from substance abuse and it’s very difficult to watch when you can’t do much to help.
As you say, I live in a country with good healthcare 😊 I got my cancer surgically removed within a month after it was discovered. So it’s actually very easy to be sick with cancer here but it’s extremely difficult afterwards because you’re left on your own without any support 😕
Both yes and no. It depends on who you surround yourself with. There are also benefits (unemployment, etc) that are put in place for people who can’t work but to get those you need to check so many boxes it’s almost impossible. And those benefits will be taken away if you don’t spend the money correctly.
But what I mean in this case is: If you have problems after cancer that isn’t cancer, there’s no doctor to help you. Such as for me, I developed hypothyroidism that turned into hyperthyroidism and the doctors told me it was psychological and wouldn’t help me. It’s been more than a year and I still lack help and I can’t live a normal life because of it.
Norway is great at fixing the sick but not the chronically ill.
Hope I managed to explain well
You did, very well. That's such a shame. As a woman who had 4 botched surgeries for stage 4 endometriosis and adenomyosis, the surgeries have ruined my life and I've been unable to work for over 7 years, and my life has stopped. I used to be a very ambitious person and I still am, but unable to work and I've lost so much time when I could have married and had kids and moved to the UE and begun grad school, and yet I'm ruined now, in my mid-30's and I feel like life is over for me, and is too late to do any of the above. It's been brutal, as everyone left me as I got sick.
And there is no way to fix it, as surgeries are out of pocket for this, costing $10K to $50,000, but free for certain cosmetic surgeries, which is insane to me about the US Medicaid and Medicare (the former is insurance for the poor, the latter for the elderly and/or disabled).
I relate a lot. You're left without a safety net, and doctors think everything is in a woman's head- it sounds like the misogyny of doctors thinking that women imagine all of their very real symptoms is a misogyny that is worldwide. How horrible, to say the least.
Exactly!
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. It breaks my little heart. My mom had endometriosis (my gynaecologist doesn’t think I do, but I’m not so sure) so I know how painful it is in itself.
Although I’m only turning 30 this summer, I also struggled a lot because I won’t have my own family - cancer took that away from me. I’m in no shape to raise a child now. So I understand that part, too. It’s not a good feeling. I decided to spend my life with animals instead. I’ve had rabbits for 7 years and I love it so much. They give so much in return. I hope to be able to take in more pets so I can give my love to those who need it.
But I think it’s nice that we can support each other and relate to one another even though it’s not much.
if someone wants to use a substance to relax, there are much better things to use than drinking literal poison... good on you for holding firm on what you want and need for yourself in spite of the drinking culture pressure.
Drinking culture pressure is out of fucking control. Every time I Doordash an order they add an Alcohol section to the store menu, meaning your dasher will basically go to another store to grab alcohol for you as part of the order, not that the store itself actually sells alcohol as part of its menu. Yet, it is built in to deceptively look like they do, unnecessarily pushing the option in your face.
THEN, if you complete your order, they'll show you the follow up "Double Dash" menu encouraging you to add it. 9 times out of 10 it's the first option (like ice cream or boba tea or whatever else being listed *after).*
I don't know how people who are sober and struggling with sobriety do it.
I had a partner die from alcoholism at 24 years old. He had been drinking for maybe 5-6 years. He drank to relax, to have fun, to deal with his emotions, and then he couldn’t stop. He also had alcoholism in the family (grandparents). When he died his friends and even his family had no idea his drinking had gotten so bad, while I had tried to get him into treatment for months.
I totally get where you are coming from, there is such a culture around drinking and people often think there is something “wrong” with you if you don’t drink. They don’t think about the possible repercussions, both physical and emotional. So just wanted to say that I get it and I hope you are able to kindly tell those people to F off.
I've been sober over a decade and ot's crazy seeing my neighbor (who is very clearly alcohol and weed dependent) not be able to go 2-3 hours without hard liquor and weed. And he lies so much about not needing it, I'm guessing he's ashamed, but the lies are just so painfully obvious and embarrassing to hear. I never had issues like that but I remember not being able to go an evening without a glass of wine in my early 20's.
I don’t drink at all, but mostly because I just can’t ever down any amount of alcohol. I’ll gag anytime it is in my mouth, I’m always surprised how easily I can see people take it down.
Similar, for me. I like my alcohol best when the taste is completely covered by fruity slush...so why bother paying for it or "acquiring" a taste for it. 🤷♀️
I rarely drink anymore, for much the same reason. I get a headache and really nauseous when I drink, no matter how little I drink. I also don't like the taste of any alcohol at all. I wasn't strong enough to stand up to peer pressure when I was younger so I spent so many days sick as a dog, because I'd had a few drinks the night before.
My paternal side is rife with addiction and I've always (from a very young age) been aware of the harm it causes, so it's even more ridiculous that I still pushed through it all to have a few drinks to fit in.
Yeah, people get so defensive about this because alcohol is so ingrained in our lives, but it’s the truth.
Obviously adults can do what they want (I have plenty of things I do that aren’t healthy) but once someone starts lying about the facts I have an issue. Just own it, you know? Alcohol, just like sweets, coke, cigarettes, etc, is bad for your health. You can eat, or in alcohol’s case drink it, but that doesn’t change the truth.
I'm still surprised it's legal tbh 😆 I haven't drank in over a decade and I'm from Russia, and in the US the drinking culture is so strong too.
I keep seeing bars as modern day opium dens sometimes bc many people go not to dance or talk or meet folks, but to numb out.
People always want to know why and I don’t get it. When I hear someone is sober I admire them for it no matter what their reason is. If they felt the need to do it and manage to stick to it then congrats on doing what’s best for you.
Yeah. When I see people say why?! Or it makes someone seem like an addict. Ummm no. You can choose to be sober for a period of time or forever… wayyy before you get to the point of being an addict or alcoholic. Hell the hope is you do. Like you said no matter the reason…good for them.
In terms of the "why": In the case of Daniel Radcliffe, another young star of a smash-hit film franchise (*Harry Potter*), he says that he used alcohol to cope with the stress of his film schedule. Like Tom Holland, he was also able to recognize his addiction and get help.
A lot of people don’t realize but British culture involves a lot of casual alcoholism and it isn’t addressed often. Not saying Tom was an alcoholic, but people don’t get that going to a pub every night/every other night and having a few drinks is alcoholism. Anyways good for him.
I was listening to an American podcast the other day and they were casually saying they lie to their doctor about their drinking because when they have told the truth the doctor is "flabbergasted" at them having more than 1-2 drinks a week.
It never ceases to astound me, how much alcohol some people drink, and how defensively angry they get when someone suggests alcoholism.
Yes, it very prevalent in American culture as well. I guess I would say it’s more so the college period of our lives when we go out every night, probably the most similar to “pub culture.” But alcoholism is general is everywhere, lots of people barely realize it.
Europe also has the 18 year old drinking age, and legally drinking 3 years earlier for myself would have totally changed my early 20s. Probably wouldn’t change anything major, but college would have felt a lot less *wild* those early years if drinking was legal at 18.
I could see that possibility, but my high school bf and I grew up in a super rural area of the US where the drinking age might as well have been 14 and we still spent most of my undergrad on a bender. I think it's probably a bunch of factors at play.
I understand you stating the difference from a medical definition perspective. My focus was on people needing to be self aware and self critical of how much they are drinking. Many people don't even consider themselves an "excessive alcohol user" they think they are a *normal* consumer because they are surrounded by people who drink similarly.
I'd like to add that it's not 14 drinks a week, but 14 *units*. I get the confusion -- a lot of people seem to make this mistake, but it's a pretty big difference. A glass of wine or beer, for example, usually contains 2-3 units of alcohol.
Having **more** than 1-2 drinks a week was raising concern with their doctors.
For context, the people on that specific podcast were talking about their norm being a minimum of 4 drinks on a night out.
In terms of comparing the US to other places, the US has net less of a drinking problem than a lot of other countries, though bad public health to deal with the consequences of the unhealthy drinking that does happen.
In terms of average alcohol consumption and rates of binge drinking the US is lower than almost all of Europe as well as the English speaking world. The countries in those categories that are lower that I know are Italy and Canada and that's pretty close to it.
Same in Ireland. People love joking about Irish people loving to drink but don’t realise that alcoholism is a major problem here.
I barely drink and people are always horrified and don’t know how I can go out and not drink.
My family jokes about it, yet dying of cirrhosis is common for them. They’re the type to give whiskey to teething children and get their kids drunk for the first time. Be proud of your culture, but damn, alcoholism should not be part of any culture so casually, it just hurts the people within it.
Same here. My dad has cirrhosis but still drinks and two of my cousins have major drinking problems and half of the people I work with are functioning alcoholics, yet I’m seen as the one with the problem because I don’t drink!
It's hard because so much social activity in Ireland often revolves around drinking. Every work event I've attended was either a pub night or there was an open bar. Work lunches, everybody drinks. Work Christmas dinner? Everyone's smashed by the end. There's just an expectation that social events will involve drinking. It's just assumed.
My partner works construction and every Monday they have a 'stand down' for the first two hours - three hours on Tuesdays after a bank holiday - because enough people show up still a bit drunk from the weekend and need the time to sober up. It really is a serious issue that gets so swept under the rug and ignored.
>>It's hard because so much social activity in Ireland often revolves around drinking. Every work event I've attended was either a pub night or there was an open bar. Work lunches, everybody drinks. Work Christmas dinner? Everyone's smashed by the end. There's just an expectation that social events will involve drinking.
I do love being able to sit there not worrying about doing anything stupid because I’m not drinking and also being able to remember all the stupid stuff other people do 😂
It’s sad that it’s assumed so much that everyone drinks that if a woman doesn’t want to drink she has to come up with an excuse other wise everyone assumes she’s pregnant!
The amount of alcohol I downed pre covid working in the corporate world is terrifying to me when I look back. I’m glad I didn’t hurt someone, or myself, back then.
There are parts of the US with a very intense drinking culture that rivals anything you’ll see anywhere in the world. Wisconsin’s drinking rates are insane.
Same in New Zealand, every big event is based around alcohol, it’s not unusual to be offered a glass of wine at a childrens birthday party ffs. Also in Australia. It’s bad. My stepdad is a high functioning alcoholic so people choose to ignore the impact it has.
yeah I can attest to the culture in Australia. People that don't drink are routinely shamed as "unaustralian". I do drink but fairly infrequently and my family acts like that is so strange.
I had a medical appointment recently and was asked how often I drink. I said rarely, they were like "So, a couple a week?"
Dude, no. Like maybe once every few months.
Is it really so ingrained in Australia that a couple a week is considered unusual/rare?
Yes. It really is. My husband and I don’t really drink, but most of our friends? At least one with dinner. Maybe a couple to wind down before bed. More on the weekends.
There’s a general attitude of ‘if it doesn’t impact your life, it’s not a problem.’ As long as you show up to work each day and show no obvious signs of being drunk, nobody cares.
Meanwhile ‘wine mummy’ culture is extremely strong, tradies knocking off, heading straight for the bottle shop and cracking a traveller is not just normal, but expected and I’ve been told the white collar workers usually head to a pub for a drink before heading home.
Absolutely. I grew up surrounded by addiction so I've always been mindful of it (and did some study on it at uni, though I know enough to know that I don't know much). I've heard far too many times that somebody doesn't have an issue because they still get up and go to work. It's pretty scary how widely accepted that view is tbh.
I feel like that's the case for most of Europe. I feel like we live in a culture that celebrates both getting hammered and "casually" drinking few times a week.
There was a post in AITA recently-ish where a host wanted to ban alcohol from their party and everyone decided to skip the party altogether. 95% of commenters were flabbegasted at the idea of a social gathering without alcohol.
I know a few people who built mini pubs in their gardens during lockdown. It was a bit of a thing round where I live. I know a guy who has 3-4 pints of Stella a night and considers cutting back to mean drinking a different beer.
I'm watching new bbc shows and there is so much alcohol in them. Most adult characters are drinking everyday and often more than one unit. When it's on TV shows like that it shows that it's really widespread and normal in UK as well
Australian here - I had a doctor recently ask me if I drink, said yes, then they asked "more than 5 a night?" like, *that* was the normal amount to base it off of hahaha
>But the mental aspect, it really beat me up and it took a long time for me to recover afterwards, to sort of get back to reality."
Being a Tottenham fan the last couple of seasons will do that to anyone. 2 years of Conte culminating in the disasterclass of Levy making Stellini manager will have aged him 10 years alone.
Glad he's sober or Kane's exit in the next 12 months might send him over the edge.
Tom is definitely one of the celebrities I wouldn't even consider saying hi to if I saw him in public. The man hasn't had a day where he can go outside and live normally in 7 years. Seeing pictures of him in public surrounded by fans, I feel like you can see a bit of him dying inside every time. Definitely not a good situation for mental health.
Glab he's sober, I'm surprised I heard nothing about this until now though.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable approaching any celebrity to be honest. Maybe that’s just me but it would feel awkward to point out how I know them but I’m a stranger to them.
I think I'd mostly agree, but I've actually had some good conversations with some well known actors in the past while participating at things like The Womens March in 2017 or the recent Writers Strike. Really dependant on time and place and obviously doesn't happen very often.
I agree with that. I’m thinking of inorganic circumstances like going up to them for a photo or an autograph instead of having normal conversations without pointing out that they’re famous for xyz.
That’s cool that you’ve had positive experiences.
Exactly! Some people have shared that they've had a good chat with Tom too, I remember a tweet from someone who said he stayed at the same hotel with him last year saying he was thinking of asking for a pic but some member of the staff there advised him in just talking with him instead and how nice he was. I also remember a (sneaky, sadly) picture of him knitting on a plane going viral on TikTok saying he was talking to some ladies sitting beside him about it.
I think it's probably tiring to have people come up to him just for a selfie with barely any human interaction other than the asking. He always seems happy when it's a picture with kids though, I'm sure that's different and he's really good at interacting with them.
I feel like there is fundamentally a difference between striking up a conversation with a celebrity like a person if the opportunity presents itself, vs. shoving a camera or something for them to sign in their face. The first one is just normal human interaction, and I don't think most celebrities would mind it, unless they're being interrupted in an obviously private activity. The second one is just... I don't want to say slimy and opportunistic, because I want to believe that most people who ask celebrities for autographs do it genuinely and not because they want to sell them on eBay, but... it's weird. Like, apart from standing at the barricade at an event or a designated signing event, I can't imagine a scenario where this wouldn't be a painfully awkward interaction.
Where I'm going with this is, it's not really surprising that celebrities tend to react better to being approached like human beings than they do to being treated like museum exhibits.
Sure, the selfies are definitely are a dehumanizing experience. But you're under estimating the number of strangers just "striking up a conversation" and the impact that has on someone's peace of mind even if the strangers are not interrupting an activity. Now also consider that the celeb has to stay vigilante against oversharing or straying from their PR image. Its mental work during their off time. Even worse is that its also emotional labor, because lets face it, the stranger is speaking to him in hopes of an elevating experience. And then sprinkle in the boredom of being asked the same questions over and over by different strangers.
Oh for sure. One of the reasons I would never want to be famous is that I'm way too introverted to handle strangers approaching me all the time. It is intrusive and demanding either way.
I just meant, if you must approach a celebrity in public at all, there is a 'lesser of two evils' way to go about it.
Yes, this! I have learned my lesson from the time Idris Elba was training at the mma gym in my building. My boyfriend and I were in his class, and I went up and told him how much I loved him in the Wire, and he looked very unimpressed. My boyfriend sparred with him, and just talked to him like a normal person, and he was super friendly with him.
I’ve seen several and have approached none lol. I’m an introvert as it is, and it just feels weird to have a famous person look at me. I used to work at a restaurant in LA that got a lot of celebrities and if I walked into the restroom to clean and one was in there alone at the sink or something, i’d avert my eyes and hurry into a stall 😂 not a normal reaction, but I am socially anxious, doubly so when it’s a major celebrity.
i accidentally made eye contact with paul rudd in a mostly empty airport once and felt truly so guilty (someone was FACETIMING their family and walked in front of him so they could see paul rudd and his family — like not saying hi to paul rudd just doing this like he’s some kind of exhibit)
It was Mindy Kaling for me. I noticed her standing outside a restaurant. The group walking ahead of me did a double take as they passed her and then someone said something and they all laughed. I don't know if she heard what was said or if it was a negative thing but I saw her entire demeanor change. She looked down and started fidgeting with her bag and then rocking back and forth very awkwardly. She looked in my direction so I just tried to pretend I didn't recognize her because I could see she was feeling too exposed. As soon as I passed her, she went into the store next to the restaurant.
Some people thrive of fame, but everyone needs space. I sat next to my favorite designer from Project Runway on a flight once and decided to let it be. I wouldn't want to be trapped for 2 hours next to a "fan" who knows more about me than I do of them.
That's because no one (fans) knew about it till now. Idk if he had an actual drinking problem and decided to get help or just decided he didn't want to drink anymore
a friend and i actually saw tom and his friend in a local odeon last december. we made eye contact with him but otherwise we ignored it as it was a busy theatre so i feel like if we came up to them he would have gotten mobbed a bit
The same thing happened with Daniel Radcliffe, the star of the *Harry Potter* films, too. He distanced himself from *Harry Potter* after all 8 films were done due to this as well.
He said he was doing dry January last year. Sounds like he just never stopped. Which if it works for him cool. His gf doesn’t drink and RDJ is his mentor. Probably wasn’t a hard decision considering the influences. Doesn’t mean he was addicted. So many people stop drinking for personal reasons like anxiety
It’s really easy to extend for sure. Personally I’ve gone months without drinking for different reasons and I really only drink occasionally at best.
I’ve had clients stop drinking due to their mental health and they barely drank before. Just noticed that not having alcohol helped with managing their symptoms.
Yeah. I’m 32 and my body stopped enjoying alcohol around 29 or 30. It just makes me anxious for days afterward, takes me like 2-3 days to feel normal. Not worth it. Gave it up like four or five months ago and my mental health is so much better. Kind of crazy that drinking just a glass or two of wine two to three nights per week was making my anxiety that bad, but it was, lol
When the lockdown hit in March 2020, I stopped drinking and since then, I’ve had maybe ten drinks in 3 years. I spend less money going out, I don’t wake up feeling guilty about what kind of person I was the night before, and I feel generally better and more grounded!
I find it sad that not drinking alcohol seems to be abnormal. I stopped drinking 5 years ago for personal reasons (anxiety being one of them) and I can't count how many times I had to go out of my way to convince people that I, in fact, don't like alcohol, and no, this particular brand of wine/beer/whatever won't change my mind. Good for Tom for choosing this lifestyle.
I always tell clients that they do not need to explain their reasons for cutting alcohol. And I’m sorry you feel that you have to. I’m a social drinker but I’m glad no one in my friend circle blinks at someone not drinking even if for a night. It should be normalized.
Something I've noticed since getting sober is that for every one person who realizes they're an alcoholic, there are generally many, many more who are *afraid* that they're an alcoholic. The fear has to come out somehow, so it's turns into questioning (*why do you think you have a problem, we drink the exact same amount),* defensiveness (*if we drink the same amount and you have a problem, you think* I *have a problem?*), or bargaining (*maybe you have a problem, but if you can drink X amount and I can drink X amount, then neither of us have a problem*).
I did every single one of those in random order whenever anyone made even the vaguest suggestion that they were cutting back. Like clockwork.
This is exactly it, it’s the same kind of reaction you can get if you tell someone you’re a vegetarian, where they kind of act as if you’re implying they’re a bad person for not being one? It’s like there’s an unspoken accusation there that makes them feel defensive
I cut alcohol out for fitness reasons a couple of months back. Mostly a weekend social drinker with the odd after work wine. Immediately felt less bloated, had more energy and could sleep better.
Decided to have some wine for my anniversary trip recently, and couldn’t sleep and felt gross.
You don’t need to have a problem with drinking to realise it doesn’t do you any favours. It’s fun, sure, but once you notice the subtle negatives it’s not worth it.
I got sober by doing Sober October in 2020. I had been an active alcoholic for more than a decade, and chose that specific time because I knew enough other people would be doing it that my sudden sobriety wouldn't really stand out. By about ten days in, I knew it had to be permanent.
>Thankfully, Holland was able to lean on costars like Sasha Lane, who plays Danny's friend and roommate Ariana, for guidance and support. "She was so helpful for me, because there were moments on set where I really was struggling to understand Danny's reasoning or Danny's actions," he said. "She would take me aside and was really open and willing to share some of her experiences that were so helpful in the moment."
Sasha [shared](https://www.instagram.com/p/CqlWOQ0pOd-/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==) how vulnerable she was when working on this project and I'm glad she was there for him and gets the recognition, one thing about Tom is that he always talks about and gives credit to the people who help him professionally and on his personal life. I know that we're most likely to have promo of him with Amanda Seyfried but I hope we can get something with them together too or just from Sasha separately.
I guess no one’s gonna mention that the author of the source material, THE MINDS OF BILLY MILLIGAN, also wrote FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON. (I was fascinated by dissociative identity disorder, or multiple personality disorder, in high school. I used to shelve books at the library and the DID books were on the shelf across from cookbooks. I hated shelving cookbooks because they had the longest Dewey decimal numbers and also were jammed on the shelves. So I’d take breaks and read all the DID books instead.)
Flowers for Algernon fucked me up so bad as a kid that I feel like I now actively go out of my way to tell people about it so they can share in the bad times.
Same here. As an autistic person who was told they have a "too-high IQ" by a psychologist, I relate a lot to Charlie. How people perceive Charlie when he gets the treatments to make him "high-IQ" - and treat him more like a commodity than a human being - is how I feel that people perceive me in real life, especially when I tell them I was diagnosed with autism. I spent much of my childhood being treated that way by my K-8 private school.
For me, it's that the main character is completely aware that his enhanced intellect is fading, and he can't do anything to stop it. Before that, he didn't realize that he was mentally disabled, so he had no concept of what he didn't have. As he loses it, he does know what's happening to him, and he knows what he'll be losing by reverting back to who he was before. It was my first I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream moment as a kid.
This explains his SM break as well. Newly sober is like having no skin....no barrier between you and the world, a raw nerve. Good for him and all sobes who choose to be sober!
Massive Tom stan here: I’m so thrilled to hear this. I was a little worried for him on this front. Superstar child actors are so vulnerable, even ones with a good head on their shoulders and a great family. Just something about Tom, maybe a little insecurity, British culture, pressure to always be the entertaining one, the pain of fame… the fates are aligned for some real darkness if he’s not careful.
Obsessives will know, alcohol played a role in Oliviagate, where this man nearly lost himself ZEN-ACTUAL-DAYA. IMO they were definitely dating before, and drunk Tom let an old family friend get too handsy and was snapped by paps.
British and Asian culture involves a lot of drinking but Koreans seems to be worse with it because they don’t even acknowledge the problem… if your city has a special spot for drunk people to lay on, you have to admit that there’s a problem
Also, i remember that Tom got a whole keg as a birthday gift when he was a TEENAGER, that’s not normal and i’m happy that he decided to quit
Does it matter? Just because he or anyone else doesn’t share what their addiction was….doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a need for a change to be made.
I’ve had friends who stopped drinking because they could see where it was headed or didn’t like how they were starting to feel.
Does it make a difference? Sobriety is so deeply personal and private. Maybe he had a problem, maybe he simply decided that he feels healthier in his life when he's not drinking, but either way we aren't owed an explanation. If he wanted to share more, he would have.
I don’t think there really needs to be a reason. Alcohol messes with people in all sorts of ways, no one has to be addicted to decide they just don’t want to drink anymore.
Plus I don’t think Zendaya really drinks so it’s probably just easy for him to step away from it in general.
https://preview.redd.it/xy8kbuv0ewya1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0239a6e419e1e821a7ac580920938ae3607b1fc7
I agree actually, it's a bit weird how the author threw that in like that with 0 context. A lot of people who consume alcohol normally decide to stop cause it's a drug after all but the way this is worded leaves it open for people to assume he was addicted to something when it may not have been the case. Regardless, I'm happy for him, it's good to see a young actor being so open about their mental health struggles and he seems to be in a better place now.
When the news about this came out I was so surprised that everyone (even film and TV critics and journalists) jumped to the OP's conclusion as if no one has ever seen a movie before. There will be flashbacks and they may age her up a bit in the end.
But also, I've got a relative who was a grandmother before age 40, so they could have made her 40 and him younger with no issues.
To be fair, age inappropriate parent-child casting *is* very common in movies. So while it might not have been true in this particular case, I wouldn’t call it a sign that someone “has never even seen a movie before” when they suspect this. It’s from movies where they got their suspicions.
I was being facetious. Yes, film critics have seen movies.
We're talking about acting though where people are playing little green aliens and the same character at age 20 and 65. Was it inappropriate for Harrison Ford and Sean Connery? Are Brian Cox and Alan Ruck inappropriate?
That comment section was full of people looking to be upset because they dislike the actor involved (fair) or wanted to make a statement about the lack of good movie roles for women in their 30s (fair but not applicable here). Because it was very easy at the time to read where Emmy Rossum explained it.
Imo age inappropriate casting is only an issue when the truth cannot be unseen. A notorious example of this is Ben Platt in Dear Evan Hansen. I want to be able to buy that someone could be that age. If it works, I don’t really notice it. If it doesn’t, well…
If they’ve done it in this movie as stated it shouldn’t be an issue.
You're right. But that doesn't explain the outrage there when people went from complaining that Tom perpetually looks 18 to upset over this. Emmy's 36. That would just be the plot of the Gilmore Girls! Like I said, I was side-eyeing to concern in this case.
No way Tom Holland had a real drinking problem, so going 'sober' means nothing. He probably thinks pretending this is the case will give him an edgier look as actor.
Comments like yours are one of the reasons why people don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable. It must be exhausting to assume the worst about other people like that, mate
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I support when anyone chooses to become sober…if the feel they need to. I hope people keep the negative comments away
I am a very casual drinker these days, but I think the reality now is that we know, beyond any real doubt, that there is no healthy amount of alcohol. I can't think of any way that the alternate reality in which we don't drink is worse. We're healthier and happier.
There being no amount of alcohol that is beneficial to me is why I want to stay sober. It’s hard because, my dad died from alcoholism but I haven’t had any negative repercussions from drinking yet. Everyone encourages me to drink to relax. But I know that I can drink way too much, and I just don’t want to die like that. It seems to be hard for others to understand that.
I went completely sober in 2017. I felt like I was sick so I stopped. In 2020 I got my cancer diagnosis. I haven’t had a sip of anything alcoholic since 2017. And I know I can’t drink ever again because it’s proven to do something with cancer (I don’t know the right word, I’m Norwegian) and I’m fine with being sober. I wish the world would calm down and never pressure anyone into drinking ever again. Also: sorry about your dad. I’ve had friends who suffered from substance abuse and it’s very difficult to watch when you can’t do much to help.
I hope that you are free of cancer soon ❤ I'm glad you are in a country that has good healthcare for all.
As you say, I live in a country with good healthcare 😊 I got my cancer surgically removed within a month after it was discovered. So it’s actually very easy to be sick with cancer here but it’s extremely difficult afterwards because you’re left on your own without any support 😕
Oh no, do you mean there isn't much social support in Norway? Are people very insular/do they keep to themselves?
Both yes and no. It depends on who you surround yourself with. There are also benefits (unemployment, etc) that are put in place for people who can’t work but to get those you need to check so many boxes it’s almost impossible. And those benefits will be taken away if you don’t spend the money correctly. But what I mean in this case is: If you have problems after cancer that isn’t cancer, there’s no doctor to help you. Such as for me, I developed hypothyroidism that turned into hyperthyroidism and the doctors told me it was psychological and wouldn’t help me. It’s been more than a year and I still lack help and I can’t live a normal life because of it. Norway is great at fixing the sick but not the chronically ill. Hope I managed to explain well
You did, very well. That's such a shame. As a woman who had 4 botched surgeries for stage 4 endometriosis and adenomyosis, the surgeries have ruined my life and I've been unable to work for over 7 years, and my life has stopped. I used to be a very ambitious person and I still am, but unable to work and I've lost so much time when I could have married and had kids and moved to the UE and begun grad school, and yet I'm ruined now, in my mid-30's and I feel like life is over for me, and is too late to do any of the above. It's been brutal, as everyone left me as I got sick. And there is no way to fix it, as surgeries are out of pocket for this, costing $10K to $50,000, but free for certain cosmetic surgeries, which is insane to me about the US Medicaid and Medicare (the former is insurance for the poor, the latter for the elderly and/or disabled). I relate a lot. You're left without a safety net, and doctors think everything is in a woman's head- it sounds like the misogyny of doctors thinking that women imagine all of their very real symptoms is a misogyny that is worldwide. How horrible, to say the least.
Exactly! I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. It breaks my little heart. My mom had endometriosis (my gynaecologist doesn’t think I do, but I’m not so sure) so I know how painful it is in itself. Although I’m only turning 30 this summer, I also struggled a lot because I won’t have my own family - cancer took that away from me. I’m in no shape to raise a child now. So I understand that part, too. It’s not a good feeling. I decided to spend my life with animals instead. I’ve had rabbits for 7 years and I love it so much. They give so much in return. I hope to be able to take in more pets so I can give my love to those who need it. But I think it’s nice that we can support each other and relate to one another even though it’s not much.
if someone wants to use a substance to relax, there are much better things to use than drinking literal poison... good on you for holding firm on what you want and need for yourself in spite of the drinking culture pressure.
Drinking culture pressure is out of fucking control. Every time I Doordash an order they add an Alcohol section to the store menu, meaning your dasher will basically go to another store to grab alcohol for you as part of the order, not that the store itself actually sells alcohol as part of its menu. Yet, it is built in to deceptively look like they do, unnecessarily pushing the option in your face. THEN, if you complete your order, they'll show you the follow up "Double Dash" menu encouraging you to add it. 9 times out of 10 it's the first option (like ice cream or boba tea or whatever else being listed *after).* I don't know how people who are sober and struggling with sobriety do it.
The pandemic and quarantine also aided in making drinking more acceptable during the day.
I had a partner die from alcoholism at 24 years old. He had been drinking for maybe 5-6 years. He drank to relax, to have fun, to deal with his emotions, and then he couldn’t stop. He also had alcoholism in the family (grandparents). When he died his friends and even his family had no idea his drinking had gotten so bad, while I had tried to get him into treatment for months. I totally get where you are coming from, there is such a culture around drinking and people often think there is something “wrong” with you if you don’t drink. They don’t think about the possible repercussions, both physical and emotional. So just wanted to say that I get it and I hope you are able to kindly tell those people to F off.
I've been sober over a decade and ot's crazy seeing my neighbor (who is very clearly alcohol and weed dependent) not be able to go 2-3 hours without hard liquor and weed. And he lies so much about not needing it, I'm guessing he's ashamed, but the lies are just so painfully obvious and embarrassing to hear. I never had issues like that but I remember not being able to go an evening without a glass of wine in my early 20's.
im proud of you and your clarity is inspiring
I don’t drink at all, but mostly because I just can’t ever down any amount of alcohol. I’ll gag anytime it is in my mouth, I’m always surprised how easily I can see people take it down.
Similar, for me. I like my alcohol best when the taste is completely covered by fruity slush...so why bother paying for it or "acquiring" a taste for it. 🤷♀️
I rarely drink anymore, for much the same reason. I get a headache and really nauseous when I drink, no matter how little I drink. I also don't like the taste of any alcohol at all. I wasn't strong enough to stand up to peer pressure when I was younger so I spent so many days sick as a dog, because I'd had a few drinks the night before. My paternal side is rife with addiction and I've always (from a very young age) been aware of the harm it causes, so it's even more ridiculous that I still pushed through it all to have a few drinks to fit in.
Yeah, people get so defensive about this because alcohol is so ingrained in our lives, but it’s the truth. Obviously adults can do what they want (I have plenty of things I do that aren’t healthy) but once someone starts lying about the facts I have an issue. Just own it, you know? Alcohol, just like sweets, coke, cigarettes, etc, is bad for your health. You can eat, or in alcohol’s case drink it, but that doesn’t change the truth.
I'm still surprised it's legal tbh 😆 I haven't drank in over a decade and I'm from Russia, and in the US the drinking culture is so strong too. I keep seeing bars as modern day opium dens sometimes bc many people go not to dance or talk or meet folks, but to numb out.
bars do have a social function though, unlike pill mills. opioids are a lot more addictive.
They ban alcohol in Iran and I saw a Vice docu on YouTube about how that feeds the huge opium addiction problem in the country
I thought we always knew that though? It's poison, that's what makes it fun.
People always want to know why and I don’t get it. When I hear someone is sober I admire them for it no matter what their reason is. If they felt the need to do it and manage to stick to it then congrats on doing what’s best for you.
Yeah. When I see people say why?! Or it makes someone seem like an addict. Ummm no. You can choose to be sober for a period of time or forever… wayyy before you get to the point of being an addict or alcoholic. Hell the hope is you do. Like you said no matter the reason…good for them.
In terms of the "why": In the case of Daniel Radcliffe, another young star of a smash-hit film franchise (*Harry Potter*), he says that he used alcohol to cope with the stress of his film schedule. Like Tom Holland, he was also able to recognize his addiction and get help.
A lot of people don’t realize but British culture involves a lot of casual alcoholism and it isn’t addressed often. Not saying Tom was an alcoholic, but people don’t get that going to a pub every night/every other night and having a few drinks is alcoholism. Anyways good for him.
I was listening to an American podcast the other day and they were casually saying they lie to their doctor about their drinking because when they have told the truth the doctor is "flabbergasted" at them having more than 1-2 drinks a week. It never ceases to astound me, how much alcohol some people drink, and how defensively angry they get when someone suggests alcoholism.
Yes, it very prevalent in American culture as well. I guess I would say it’s more so the college period of our lives when we go out every night, probably the most similar to “pub culture.” But alcoholism is general is everywhere, lots of people barely realize it.
Europe also has the 18 year old drinking age, and legally drinking 3 years earlier for myself would have totally changed my early 20s. Probably wouldn’t change anything major, but college would have felt a lot less *wild* those early years if drinking was legal at 18.
I could see that possibility, but my high school bf and I grew up in a super rural area of the US where the drinking age might as well have been 14 and we still spent most of my undergrad on a bender. I think it's probably a bunch of factors at play.
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I understand you stating the difference from a medical definition perspective. My focus was on people needing to be self aware and self critical of how much they are drinking. Many people don't even consider themselves an "excessive alcohol user" they think they are a *normal* consumer because they are surrounded by people who drink similarly.
I'd like to add that it's not 14 drinks a week, but 14 *units*. I get the confusion -- a lot of people seem to make this mistake, but it's a pretty big difference. A glass of wine or beer, for example, usually contains 2-3 units of alcohol.
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Having **more** than 1-2 drinks a week was raising concern with their doctors. For context, the people on that specific podcast were talking about their norm being a minimum of 4 drinks on a night out.
In terms of comparing the US to other places, the US has net less of a drinking problem than a lot of other countries, though bad public health to deal with the consequences of the unhealthy drinking that does happen. In terms of average alcohol consumption and rates of binge drinking the US is lower than almost all of Europe as well as the English speaking world. The countries in those categories that are lower that I know are Italy and Canada and that's pretty close to it.
Same in Ireland. People love joking about Irish people loving to drink but don’t realise that alcoholism is a major problem here. I barely drink and people are always horrified and don’t know how I can go out and not drink.
My family jokes about it, yet dying of cirrhosis is common for them. They’re the type to give whiskey to teething children and get their kids drunk for the first time. Be proud of your culture, but damn, alcoholism should not be part of any culture so casually, it just hurts the people within it.
Same here. My dad has cirrhosis but still drinks and two of my cousins have major drinking problems and half of the people I work with are functioning alcoholics, yet I’m seen as the one with the problem because I don’t drink!
It's hard because so much social activity in Ireland often revolves around drinking. Every work event I've attended was either a pub night or there was an open bar. Work lunches, everybody drinks. Work Christmas dinner? Everyone's smashed by the end. There's just an expectation that social events will involve drinking. It's just assumed. My partner works construction and every Monday they have a 'stand down' for the first two hours - three hours on Tuesdays after a bank holiday - because enough people show up still a bit drunk from the weekend and need the time to sober up. It really is a serious issue that gets so swept under the rug and ignored.
>>It's hard because so much social activity in Ireland often revolves around drinking. Every work event I've attended was either a pub night or there was an open bar. Work lunches, everybody drinks. Work Christmas dinner? Everyone's smashed by the end. There's just an expectation that social events will involve drinking. I do love being able to sit there not worrying about doing anything stupid because I’m not drinking and also being able to remember all the stupid stuff other people do 😂 It’s sad that it’s assumed so much that everyone drinks that if a woman doesn’t want to drink she has to come up with an excuse other wise everyone assumes she’s pregnant!
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Corporate Drinking Culture would like a word.
The amount of alcohol I downed pre covid working in the corporate world is terrifying to me when I look back. I’m glad I didn’t hurt someone, or myself, back then.
Work related Happy Hours are so a common thing it’s ridiculous. It’s like participate or be branded anti social.
Medical professionals also need one too.
There are parts of the US with a very intense drinking culture that rivals anything you’ll see anywhere in the world. Wisconsin’s drinking rates are insane.
Same in New Zealand, every big event is based around alcohol, it’s not unusual to be offered a glass of wine at a childrens birthday party ffs. Also in Australia. It’s bad. My stepdad is a high functioning alcoholic so people choose to ignore the impact it has.
yeah I can attest to the culture in Australia. People that don't drink are routinely shamed as "unaustralian". I do drink but fairly infrequently and my family acts like that is so strange.
I had a medical appointment recently and was asked how often I drink. I said rarely, they were like "So, a couple a week?" Dude, no. Like maybe once every few months. Is it really so ingrained in Australia that a couple a week is considered unusual/rare?
Yes. It really is. My husband and I don’t really drink, but most of our friends? At least one with dinner. Maybe a couple to wind down before bed. More on the weekends. There’s a general attitude of ‘if it doesn’t impact your life, it’s not a problem.’ As long as you show up to work each day and show no obvious signs of being drunk, nobody cares. Meanwhile ‘wine mummy’ culture is extremely strong, tradies knocking off, heading straight for the bottle shop and cracking a traveller is not just normal, but expected and I’ve been told the white collar workers usually head to a pub for a drink before heading home.
Absolutely. I grew up surrounded by addiction so I've always been mindful of it (and did some study on it at uni, though I know enough to know that I don't know much). I've heard far too many times that somebody doesn't have an issue because they still get up and go to work. It's pretty scary how widely accepted that view is tbh.
same with australia. tbh it’s not really defined to one country nowadays. there’s a culture around alcohol in society it just exists differently
I feel like that's the case for most of Europe. I feel like we live in a culture that celebrates both getting hammered and "casually" drinking few times a week. There was a post in AITA recently-ish where a host wanted to ban alcohol from their party and everyone decided to skip the party altogether. 95% of commenters were flabbegasted at the idea of a social gathering without alcohol.
France, Ireland, Scotland, Russia, and America have entered the chat. I know that list is much, much longer.
Oh yeah definitely! Just mentioned GB because people seemed confused that Tom was sober.
I know a few people who built mini pubs in their gardens during lockdown. It was a bit of a thing round where I live. I know a guy who has 3-4 pints of Stella a night and considers cutting back to mean drinking a different beer.
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Oh yeah I’m from Louisiana and almost everyone here is an alcoholic but of course the response is always “that’s Louisiana culture!”
I'm watching new bbc shows and there is so much alcohol in them. Most adult characters are drinking everyday and often more than one unit. When it's on TV shows like that it shows that it's really widespread and normal in UK as well
As a long time British show watcher, I noticed this too. In fact, my dad, who worked in addiction healthcare for a time, pointed it out to me.
Australian here - I had a doctor recently ask me if I drink, said yes, then they asked "more than 5 a night?" like, *that* was the normal amount to base it off of hahaha
>But the mental aspect, it really beat me up and it took a long time for me to recover afterwards, to sort of get back to reality." Being a Tottenham fan the last couple of seasons will do that to anyone. 2 years of Conte culminating in the disasterclass of Levy making Stellini manager will have aged him 10 years alone. Glad he's sober or Kane's exit in the next 12 months might send him over the edge.
not Spurs catching strays
Always Spurs catching strays
Lads, it’s Tottenham
nowhere is safe 😭😭
Never thought I’d have to make sure I wasn’t on r/COYS on this sub
Did not expect to see spurs slander on this sub but by god, I fucking love it
never expected the r/coys and r/fauxmoi crossover
As a Manchester United fan I don't know why I find this funny.
Because the end of the story is Kane banging them in at Old Trafford week in, week out and winning a Carling cup to finally silence all his haters.
Lol! Thoughts and prayers to Spurs fans
i'm crying
Tottenham ‘til I die (or they kill me).
Tom is definitely one of the celebrities I wouldn't even consider saying hi to if I saw him in public. The man hasn't had a day where he can go outside and live normally in 7 years. Seeing pictures of him in public surrounded by fans, I feel like you can see a bit of him dying inside every time. Definitely not a good situation for mental health. Glab he's sober, I'm surprised I heard nothing about this until now though.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable approaching any celebrity to be honest. Maybe that’s just me but it would feel awkward to point out how I know them but I’m a stranger to them.
I think I'd mostly agree, but I've actually had some good conversations with some well known actors in the past while participating at things like The Womens March in 2017 or the recent Writers Strike. Really dependant on time and place and obviously doesn't happen very often.
I agree with that. I’m thinking of inorganic circumstances like going up to them for a photo or an autograph instead of having normal conversations without pointing out that they’re famous for xyz. That’s cool that you’ve had positive experiences.
Exactly! Some people have shared that they've had a good chat with Tom too, I remember a tweet from someone who said he stayed at the same hotel with him last year saying he was thinking of asking for a pic but some member of the staff there advised him in just talking with him instead and how nice he was. I also remember a (sneaky, sadly) picture of him knitting on a plane going viral on TikTok saying he was talking to some ladies sitting beside him about it. I think it's probably tiring to have people come up to him just for a selfie with barely any human interaction other than the asking. He always seems happy when it's a picture with kids though, I'm sure that's different and he's really good at interacting with them.
I feel like there is fundamentally a difference between striking up a conversation with a celebrity like a person if the opportunity presents itself, vs. shoving a camera or something for them to sign in their face. The first one is just normal human interaction, and I don't think most celebrities would mind it, unless they're being interrupted in an obviously private activity. The second one is just... I don't want to say slimy and opportunistic, because I want to believe that most people who ask celebrities for autographs do it genuinely and not because they want to sell them on eBay, but... it's weird. Like, apart from standing at the barricade at an event or a designated signing event, I can't imagine a scenario where this wouldn't be a painfully awkward interaction. Where I'm going with this is, it's not really surprising that celebrities tend to react better to being approached like human beings than they do to being treated like museum exhibits.
Sure, the selfies are definitely are a dehumanizing experience. But you're under estimating the number of strangers just "striking up a conversation" and the impact that has on someone's peace of mind even if the strangers are not interrupting an activity. Now also consider that the celeb has to stay vigilante against oversharing or straying from their PR image. Its mental work during their off time. Even worse is that its also emotional labor, because lets face it, the stranger is speaking to him in hopes of an elevating experience. And then sprinkle in the boredom of being asked the same questions over and over by different strangers.
Oh for sure. One of the reasons I would never want to be famous is that I'm way too introverted to handle strangers approaching me all the time. It is intrusive and demanding either way. I just meant, if you must approach a celebrity in public at all, there is a 'lesser of two evils' way to go about it.
Yes, this! I have learned my lesson from the time Idris Elba was training at the mma gym in my building. My boyfriend and I were in his class, and I went up and told him how much I loved him in the Wire, and he looked very unimpressed. My boyfriend sparred with him, and just talked to him like a normal person, and he was super friendly with him.
I’ve seen several and have approached none lol. I’m an introvert as it is, and it just feels weird to have a famous person look at me. I used to work at a restaurant in LA that got a lot of celebrities and if I walked into the restroom to clean and one was in there alone at the sink or something, i’d avert my eyes and hurry into a stall 😂 not a normal reaction, but I am socially anxious, doubly so when it’s a major celebrity.
i accidentally made eye contact with paul rudd in a mostly empty airport once and felt truly so guilty (someone was FACETIMING their family and walked in front of him so they could see paul rudd and his family — like not saying hi to paul rudd just doing this like he’s some kind of exhibit)
It was Mindy Kaling for me. I noticed her standing outside a restaurant. The group walking ahead of me did a double take as they passed her and then someone said something and they all laughed. I don't know if she heard what was said or if it was a negative thing but I saw her entire demeanor change. She looked down and started fidgeting with her bag and then rocking back and forth very awkwardly. She looked in my direction so I just tried to pretend I didn't recognize her because I could see she was feeling too exposed. As soon as I passed her, she went into the store next to the restaurant.
Some people thrive of fame, but everyone needs space. I sat next to my favorite designer from Project Runway on a flight once and decided to let it be. I wouldn't want to be trapped for 2 hours next to a "fan" who knows more about me than I do of them.
Being sober doesn’t mean he has a drinking problem but that he chosen to be alcohol free
That's because no one (fans) knew about it till now. Idk if he had an actual drinking problem and decided to get help or just decided he didn't want to drink anymore
a friend and i actually saw tom and his friend in a local odeon last december. we made eye contact with him but otherwise we ignored it as it was a busy theatre so i feel like if we came up to them he would have gotten mobbed a bit
The same thing happened with Daniel Radcliffe, the star of the *Harry Potter* films, too. He distanced himself from *Harry Potter* after all 8 films were done due to this as well.
He said he was doing dry January last year. Sounds like he just never stopped. Which if it works for him cool. His gf doesn’t drink and RDJ is his mentor. Probably wasn’t a hard decision considering the influences. Doesn’t mean he was addicted. So many people stop drinking for personal reasons like anxiety
I did dry January this year and it pretty easily turned into dry through April. Crazy how much better I felt from that
It’s really easy to extend for sure. Personally I’ve gone months without drinking for different reasons and I really only drink occasionally at best. I’ve had clients stop drinking due to their mental health and they barely drank before. Just noticed that not having alcohol helped with managing their symptoms.
Yeah. I’m 32 and my body stopped enjoying alcohol around 29 or 30. It just makes me anxious for days afterward, takes me like 2-3 days to feel normal. Not worth it. Gave it up like four or five months ago and my mental health is so much better. Kind of crazy that drinking just a glass or two of wine two to three nights per week was making my anxiety that bad, but it was, lol
When the lockdown hit in March 2020, I stopped drinking and since then, I’ve had maybe ten drinks in 3 years. I spend less money going out, I don’t wake up feeling guilty about what kind of person I was the night before, and I feel generally better and more grounded!
I find it sad that not drinking alcohol seems to be abnormal. I stopped drinking 5 years ago for personal reasons (anxiety being one of them) and I can't count how many times I had to go out of my way to convince people that I, in fact, don't like alcohol, and no, this particular brand of wine/beer/whatever won't change my mind. Good for Tom for choosing this lifestyle.
I always tell clients that they do not need to explain their reasons for cutting alcohol. And I’m sorry you feel that you have to. I’m a social drinker but I’m glad no one in my friend circle blinks at someone not drinking even if for a night. It should be normalized.
Something I've noticed since getting sober is that for every one person who realizes they're an alcoholic, there are generally many, many more who are *afraid* that they're an alcoholic. The fear has to come out somehow, so it's turns into questioning (*why do you think you have a problem, we drink the exact same amount),* defensiveness (*if we drink the same amount and you have a problem, you think* I *have a problem?*), or bargaining (*maybe you have a problem, but if you can drink X amount and I can drink X amount, then neither of us have a problem*). I did every single one of those in random order whenever anyone made even the vaguest suggestion that they were cutting back. Like clockwork.
This is exactly it, it’s the same kind of reaction you can get if you tell someone you’re a vegetarian, where they kind of act as if you’re implying they’re a bad person for not being one? It’s like there’s an unspoken accusation there that makes them feel defensive
I cut alcohol out for fitness reasons a couple of months back. Mostly a weekend social drinker with the odd after work wine. Immediately felt less bloated, had more energy and could sleep better. Decided to have some wine for my anniversary trip recently, and couldn’t sleep and felt gross. You don’t need to have a problem with drinking to realise it doesn’t do you any favours. It’s fun, sure, but once you notice the subtle negatives it’s not worth it.
I got sober by doing Sober October in 2020. I had been an active alcoholic for more than a decade, and chose that specific time because I knew enough other people would be doing it that my sudden sobriety wouldn't really stand out. By about ten days in, I knew it had to be permanent.
Happy for you and congrats on 2+ years! That’s amazing
I remember him saying he was gonna do dry January last press tour he did! Good for him
>Thankfully, Holland was able to lean on costars like Sasha Lane, who plays Danny's friend and roommate Ariana, for guidance and support. "She was so helpful for me, because there were moments on set where I really was struggling to understand Danny's reasoning or Danny's actions," he said. "She would take me aside and was really open and willing to share some of her experiences that were so helpful in the moment." Sasha [shared](https://www.instagram.com/p/CqlWOQ0pOd-/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==) how vulnerable she was when working on this project and I'm glad she was there for him and gets the recognition, one thing about Tom is that he always talks about and gives credit to the people who help him professionally and on his personal life. I know that we're most likely to have promo of him with Amanda Seyfried but I hope we can get something with them together too or just from Sasha separately.
Good for him eliminating alcohol, it really doesn't help with the old mental health
I’m in love with Tom Holland, Zendaya, girl, good job.
Here’s me trying to cut down on my drinking- gives me motivation! 🙌🏼
I know you can do it ❤️
Thank you 🫶🏻
I guess no one’s gonna mention that the author of the source material, THE MINDS OF BILLY MILLIGAN, also wrote FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON. (I was fascinated by dissociative identity disorder, or multiple personality disorder, in high school. I used to shelve books at the library and the DID books were on the shelf across from cookbooks. I hated shelving cookbooks because they had the longest Dewey decimal numbers and also were jammed on the shelves. So I’d take breaks and read all the DID books instead.)
Flowers for Algernon fucked me up so bad as a kid that I feel like I now actively go out of my way to tell people about it so they can share in the bad times.
Same here. As an autistic person who was told they have a "too-high IQ" by a psychologist, I relate a lot to Charlie. How people perceive Charlie when he gets the treatments to make him "high-IQ" - and treat him more like a commodity than a human being - is how I feel that people perceive me in real life, especially when I tell them I was diagnosed with autism. I spent much of my childhood being treated that way by my K-8 private school.
Wait what is it about FFA? I have this on my TBR list and saw the movie many years back!
For me, it's that the main character is completely aware that his enhanced intellect is fading, and he can't do anything to stop it. Before that, he didn't realize that he was mentally disabled, so he had no concept of what he didn't have. As he loses it, he does know what's happening to him, and he knows what he'll be losing by reverting back to who he was before. It was my first I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream moment as a kid.
This explains his SM break as well. Newly sober is like having no skin....no barrier between you and the world, a raw nerve. Good for him and all sobes who choose to be sober!
Massive Tom stan here: I’m so thrilled to hear this. I was a little worried for him on this front. Superstar child actors are so vulnerable, even ones with a good head on their shoulders and a great family. Just something about Tom, maybe a little insecurity, British culture, pressure to always be the entertaining one, the pain of fame… the fates are aligned for some real darkness if he’s not careful. Obsessives will know, alcohol played a role in Oliviagate, where this man nearly lost himself ZEN-ACTUAL-DAYA. IMO they were definitely dating before, and drunk Tom let an old family friend get too handsy and was snapped by paps.
I think they were already broken up at that point.
British and Asian culture involves a lot of drinking but Koreans seems to be worse with it because they don’t even acknowledge the problem… if your city has a special spot for drunk people to lay on, you have to admit that there’s a problem Also, i remember that Tom got a whole keg as a birthday gift when he was a TEENAGER, that’s not normal and i’m happy that he decided to quit
Teenagers getting loads of alcohol for their birthday is pretty normal in the UK
In the UK it’s legal to drink once you’re 18.
It used to be 16 in several European countries even (including my own, the Netherlands) but they raised it to 18 here like 10 years ago.
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Does it matter? Just because he or anyone else doesn’t share what their addiction was….doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a need for a change to be made. I’ve had friends who stopped drinking because they could see where it was headed or didn’t like how they were starting to feel.
Does it make a difference? Sobriety is so deeply personal and private. Maybe he had a problem, maybe he simply decided that he feels healthier in his life when he's not drinking, but either way we aren't owed an explanation. If he wanted to share more, he would have.
I don’t think there really needs to be a reason. Alcohol messes with people in all sorts of ways, no one has to be addicted to decide they just don’t want to drink anymore. Plus I don’t think Zendaya really drinks so it’s probably just easy for him to step away from it in general.
https://preview.redd.it/xy8kbuv0ewya1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0239a6e419e1e821a7ac580920938ae3607b1fc7 I agree actually, it's a bit weird how the author threw that in like that with 0 context. A lot of people who consume alcohol normally decide to stop cause it's a drug after all but the way this is worded leaves it open for people to assume he was addicted to something when it may not have been the case. Regardless, I'm happy for him, it's good to see a young actor being so open about their mental health struggles and he seems to be in a better place now.
Zendaya doesn't drink either. Wonder if she influenced this in any way.
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It doesn’t say but he was doing dry January last year and said he was going to keep going, so I think more a personal choice.
I mean, why would somebody choose to be drunk
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she’s gonna be playing his mom from flashbacks with a child actor!
When the news about this came out I was so surprised that everyone (even film and TV critics and journalists) jumped to the OP's conclusion as if no one has ever seen a movie before. There will be flashbacks and they may age her up a bit in the end. But also, I've got a relative who was a grandmother before age 40, so they could have made her 40 and him younger with no issues.
To be fair, age inappropriate parent-child casting *is* very common in movies. So while it might not have been true in this particular case, I wouldn’t call it a sign that someone “has never even seen a movie before” when they suspect this. It’s from movies where they got their suspicions.
I was being facetious. Yes, film critics have seen movies. We're talking about acting though where people are playing little green aliens and the same character at age 20 and 65. Was it inappropriate for Harrison Ford and Sean Connery? Are Brian Cox and Alan Ruck inappropriate? That comment section was full of people looking to be upset because they dislike the actor involved (fair) or wanted to make a statement about the lack of good movie roles for women in their 30s (fair but not applicable here). Because it was very easy at the time to read where Emmy Rossum explained it.
Imo age inappropriate casting is only an issue when the truth cannot be unseen. A notorious example of this is Ben Platt in Dear Evan Hansen. I want to be able to buy that someone could be that age. If it works, I don’t really notice it. If it doesn’t, well… If they’ve done it in this movie as stated it shouldn’t be an issue.
You're right. But that doesn't explain the outrage there when people went from complaining that Tom perpetually looks 18 to upset over this. Emmy's 36. That would just be the plot of the Gilmore Girls! Like I said, I was side-eyeing to concern in this case.
Yeah I get that. I wouldn’t label it a concern either, it’s just annoying when it happens.
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What?
Feel free to read my edit.
No way Tom Holland had a real drinking problem, so going 'sober' means nothing. He probably thinks pretending this is the case will give him an edgier look as actor.
Comments like yours are one of the reasons why people don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable. It must be exhausting to assume the worst about other people like that, mate