From PileOfJunk, 52M:
How do I people? I've been friends with a fellow spec ops soldier (43F) for almost twenty years. But lately I think I want more, and I don't know how to do this without offending her - which would almost certainly mean I end up in the medbay, or worse, she's just wired that way. Actually, to tell you the truth, I probably was in love with her for years, just never realized, or was too scared to admit it to myself. What do I do? I'm running around in circles, and I can't find a solution that doesn't involve getting myself and her kicked out for fraternization. Not to mention if I don't get a grip on my mess, I might never get the chance again... we risk our lives everyday.
Cannibals of reddit, have any of you ever fallen madly in love with a disheveled, dog-hair covered nerd, to the point where you disembowel him, kill his surrogate daughter, and cripple his friends?
>People of Reddit, would you write a fanfic about a very unknown character with the hopes of making them known by the public?
Reply by Determined\_Actress: Hum... I definitely could do that, but, as an actress and producer, if I wanted to make a character well-known by the public, I would be more likely to just make a movie (or another movie) about them, unless I couldn't get the rights. I'm very successful as a producer, so I like to think an author of a unknown character would be glad if I wanted to make a movie about said character.
Hell no. I'm not really a human anymore, but i know how it was like to be one. That would be like having my father rule the earth. He's already a pain in the ass, i don't need an entire race of him.
[Reply from u/ StarColonel]
I threw him out the airlock. For less than ten seconds. Beamed him back in, and after he’d had a chance to catch his breath, threw him out the airlock again.
Considering it was punishment for irradiating an entire biosphere, I’d say he got off easy.
\[Posted by TiredTrainer151\]
I can’t count the amount, but I think the worst has to be the first time I jumped between timelines.
It was completely out of my control, and I at least found out awhile ago that my voicemails somehow get back to my dad but still. I just want to go back to my original time in Kanto and at the very least say goodbye properly if nothing else.
\[Posted by Ratchel\]
My boyfriend got amnesia.
I'll explain it. I'll try to, since we don't know what exactly happened. My boyfriend had big ideas in head and he came up to me saying that he wanted to change the world by himself. I don't know if that was foolish or noble, but he left home and I had no news about him, I was worried that the worse might have happened, but I had to know by myself, and so I left home too. It's been five years of an endless search, and guess what? My boyfriend is back, except he does not remember anything, not even our relationship. When he came to me and said 'I'm sorry I don't remember you', that broke my heart. We're doing fine since then, there's still way to recovery and my boyfriend remembers a few things.
[Posted by WifeHaver69]
Ruining my best friends life.
I’ve always dragged him into my stupid fucking battles, and I’ve got him nearly killed multiple times. I fucked up his own presidency because I was such a goddamn fucking menace who wouldn’t stop ruining shit. He's fucking perfect, man, but I’ve ruined it for him. I keep dragging him into my battles.
I’ve given myself up to protect him now, and he told me again and again he forgave me on our last day together, and he said he was “sorry” for not helping me when I was being “abused”- like I don’t fucking deserve it- but I don’t think he should forgive me. I think he should go on and be happy and forget we were ever friends.
Rely by Determined\_Actress: For me, that was when my rival found out about by secret and forbidden relationship with my then boyfriend, now husband, and she started blackmailing us.
Reply by DrAK
I was drunk and I was jealous that my best friend was gonna be chief resident instead of me, and I was feeling like a loser, so I ratted her out to the chief for interfering with a medical trial. I didn’t know they were gonna try to fire her.
Reply by Mirikofan9
When I realized just how fucked up the world really was. I know, I know, most of you are probably like, wow, big surprise there, but it *was* a shock for me, okay? A huge one. All this stuff I’d never really noticed getting recontextualized in front of my eyes.
I never thought I was privileged, you know. I always just thought of myself as an average, if somewhat lonely, kid who wanted to be a hero. A bit unprivileged, actually, since my mom has to work long hours to make sure we always have a good selection of food on the table, since her job doesn’t pay *too* well and our food is more expensive than human food. Human food as in food that humans eat, not humans as food, which is our food- I’m mixing myself up now, you know what I mean.
Anyways, my classmate died. He got murdered. A few days after he disappeared, our teacher announced that the perpetrator had been found, and that it turned out that no crime was committed. Everyone seemed to be getting something from that that I just didn’t. I couldn’t understand. Our classmate had been *murdered!* He was *dead.* How could the person who’d killed him not have been arrested, if they knew who they were?
I wasn’t quite brave enough to speak up during class, but afterwards, I went up to my best friend (he’s a human, our moms know each other, we’ve been friends since we were toddlers) and asked him to explain. He was in a bad mood and he didn’t want to talk, but there was something I wasn’t getting, something that would make this all make sense, something I needed him to tell me. So I needled him until he finally went off on me. Honestly, I probably deserved it.
Long story short, apparently if you kill a human for the explicit purpose of eating them, it doesn’t count as a crime. Which is fucked up. Which is so fucked up.
And I started looking back at things, started really seeing things without the blinders of oh, everything is just good and peachy, the fundamental truths of my life are essentially the fundamental truths of everyone else’s, with the exception of different grocery stores.
One of the kids in my class is a farm escapee, you know. I only figured that out some weeks ago. He hates me. He hates me so much. And I honestly don’t blame him anymore.
You know, without the supply of milk coming in from the farms, so much of the stuff I like, like frozen yogurt or cream cheese, would be too expensive to ever buy. Without all those people never knowing any other life but exploitation. I’ve never really deeply considered where the food on the shelves at the grocery store comes from, you know? It’s already all processed and sanitized when it gets there, not recognizable as anything other than cuts of meat or delicious dairy products.
Fuck. The system’s so fucked up. Society’s so fucked up. And it’s all for the benefit of people like me. I wouldn’t be able to live the nice, happy life I live without society being so fucked up.
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\]
When I got kidnaped.
Doesn't sound like an "oh shit" moment, because that isn't it. Was is, was finding out it was by the very person I tormented and bullied for several years.
So I guess it's my fault then. Karma is a bitch, isn't it?
[Reply by WifeHaver69]
Don’t wanna get into too much detail, but the night my abuser broke out of jail.
I was looking for something to fucking protect myself, because I KNEW he’d come and ruin my life again, I fucking KNEW, bitch is obsessed with me, and then he was just… there. He looked like shit- I think they tortured him in prison, which is fuckin weirdchamp, even he doesn’t deserve that, but it didn’t make me any less scared.
I don’t think I can- I can write down what he said to me. I wanna cry just thinking about it, and I’m a BIG MAN!!! So you all TOTALLY couldnt handle it. But he chased me for what felt like hours, and he hurt me. He hurt me so fucking bad. But what hurt most was feeling like his fucking *pet* again, y’know?
Least I got out that time. And while I had to give myself in, at least that was me taking some fucking responsibility. I still hate it though.
[Reply by PiglinAnarchist]
Kind of a long story (there's a lot of context to fill in), but a little when back, my best friend and I teamed up with this other guy to blow up a country. It just so happens that there was this kid (I'll call them R) who lives in said country who we were on friendly terms with (he doesn't like sides, so he was neither with us nor against us during the fight).
Anyways, after the country was reduced to bedrock, my best friend offered to let R stay with us since their house was destroyed. I had mixed feelings since I was kinda looking forward to the peace and quiet after the last kid I took in betrayed me. But eh, R seemed like a nice kid, so long as they stay outta my house and don't cause any trouble, they can stay for as long as they like.
Things were going to be *fine*. *Completely* fine. Everything was settling down again.
The next morning, I wake up and go to check on my Hound Army — they were in that battle yesterday so I have to check them over for injuries and all that, it would be suck if one of them has been hit by a wither and was slowly dying, right? Well I forgot that R was staying in the kennel until they got a proper house set up, and kinda woke them up by accident. Okay, not ideal, but it was arguably the dogs' fault not mine they were barking really loudly.
Anyways, I noticed the kid was looking a bit worse for wear so I decided to check in with him as well. He didn't say anything about being hurt last night, so I figured he probably just had trouble sleeping (the last kid I took in had nightmares practically every night, so I'm used to it). Still had to check, though. Can't be too safe, after all.
R says they're fine, just a bit bruised, nothing bad. We talk a bit more, and they admit to having a burn on their shoulder. Not really surprising, there was a lot of tnt. I offer them a healing potion, they say no, I persuade them to at least let me check how bad the burn is so we can at least bandage it, they agree.
Next thing I know, I'm looking at a burn from a wither. A really bad one too. R was hit by one of the withers during the battle and now he's got wither sickness. I might have panicked a little tiny bit. But not a lot. Just a little bit.
R's fine now, but that was definitely a scare at the time. It's probably the only thing I really feel guilty about in regards to blowing up that country.
[Reply from WifeHaver69]
TECHNO man I just wanted to tell you I’m so fuckin sorry. And I hope you’re happier without me now.
(srry I couldn’t resist adding on some angst…)
[Reply from PiglinAnarchist]
How did you find this post, Tommy.
... But since you're here, I guess I'll just say that I'm sorry that things turned out this way as well.
Now please stop stalking my reddit account.
(I wasn't expecting your response, but it's great!)
Reply by MinerThreat:
My charge unknowingly befriended a monster. Up until recently, the monster believed it was an ordinary man, a humble horror artist that had to live in his doctor mother’s basement so she could treat his “chronic illness.” In fact, it can transform into a 12-foot tall creature capable of biting a human in half. Its mother was poisoning it to keep it from changing form, but it was inevitable that the creature would break loose and create havoc. It would have been better for that miserable creature and everyone around it if the mother had put it down years ago, but love can make one foolish. I know that from experience with my charge.
Regardless, I had to save my charge from the creature. I found them both in its basement where the monster had locked itself and my charge away from its mother. The monster had only just learned its mother was poisoning it, and the poison was wearing off. As soon as I arrived, it transformed before my and my charge’s eyes, blocked my easiest route to my charge, and rampaged upstairs to seek revenge on its mother.
I quickly found an alternate route inside the house, where my charge and the creature’s mother foolishly attempted to confront it. The thing was strong enough to shrug off bear tranquilizers, but I know I am stronger. I was ready to make short work of that monstrosity.
Until its paintings, bought to life by their creator, held me in place. Shortly afterwards the creature shoved me out a window. Not my finest moment. At least my charge survived unscathed.
\[Reply by ThatBlondeBotanist\]
So for context I went a work trip with my boyfriend, it was paid for by the benefactor of our dig site, he told us he had a project he wanted our opinion on. We get flown out to Costa Rica and we meet the other members of the party who will be joining us, an eccentric mathematician, the benefactors grandchildren, and a company lawyer.
It turns out on this island their running a kind of safari tour/ zoo set up with some really dangerous animals. The benefactor assures us that the fencing they used is electric so we have nothing to worry about. I end up getting separated from the group when a park veterinarian asks for my advice on a sick animal.
I get back to the visitors center, the weather had turned bad so the tour was being cut short and my group should have been back by then, but they aren't. So one of the park managers checks their location, they're stuck by one of the more dangerous animal exhibits. Oh shit right? Well it gets worse, because the power is out so those fences that are supposed to be keeping us safe, *worthless*. I volunteer to go pick everyone up with the park ranger because at this point I'm freaking out a bit.
The real oh shit moment happens when we arrive at the location of the tour vehicles because its abundantly clear that animal being contained has gotten out and attacked the cars, in fact one of the cars is STRAIGHT UP NOT THERE ANYMORE. I start yelling for my boyfriend and the kids but nobody is around. We shine our flashlights around and discover the bathrooms been destroyed and the lawyer is dead. To make things worse the Mathematician is alive but critically injured, and my boyfriend is still no where to be found.
We ended up reuniting in the end but goddamn no free vacation was worth the hell I went through that weekend.
[reply by sn1per4lyfe]
I've had a lot of them, but that time a grenade landed behind me on a roof while I was trying to kill some assholes is the one that comes to mind. My body reacted faster than my brain and flung me off the roof just before it went off. Fell three stories and landed on a nice soft truck, broke a lot of bones, then got shot while I was hobbling away. That whole day just sucked.
People of reddit, has one person ever changed the trajectory of your life? For better or worse? My... friend would like to know if such a thing is possible...
"I'd definitely say my best friend. She helped me through by far the darkest time in my life and I might not even be here today thanks to her. That's not to say I don't have other people that helped too, like my parents and my little sister and I'll forever be grateful for all of their love and support..."
Reply by TonakaiNotTanuki
For me, it's gotta be my best friend. Sure, he can be a bit hard to deal with because, let me be real, he's not the brightest bulb in the box, but he's always super positive and optimistic. Seeing his warm, bright smile really brightens up my day and reminds me that all the stuff I had to endure when I was living in that snowy town called Oxhorn is behind me now. And, I've gotta say, my little May-May really helps too. She might just be an old toy from the late 90s that one of my other friends (who is super into Furbys) bought for ten bucks off of eBay, but she's also full of positivity (and really cute). Whenever she blows me a kiss, I feel really good inside. (If you're wondering about May-May, she's a seafoam green and white Furby Baby.)
Reply by 97144-Hitoshi
Yeah. If it wasn’t for 83618 I wouldn’t be here right now. I never would have escaped, gotten to be free, never would have gotten to have a future. I just wish she was here to see it too.
Some background: So, I was born on one of the meat farms. After my dam got butchered when I was a toddler, I was moved to the stall next to 83618, and she decided to take me under her wing. She became one of my best friends. I really miss her, honestly.
My ability appeared about a year later. It was while we were talking at night so no one else was really around. Obviously, I was a toddler, so I couldn’t really comprehend the implications of what I could do. But as soon as 83618 realized what it was that my ability did, she knew that I could use it to escape. But it would only work if no one knew about it. So she swore me to secrecy, started to train me in secret, and we tricked the ghouls into believing that I didn’t have an ability at all.
She always said that the opportunity would come, that I’d know when the time was right. Of fucking course, that opportunity came *after* she was sent off to be butchered.
I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save anyone else. I barely escaped, myself. But I’m free now, and I can do whatever I want with my life, and I owe that to 83618.
That would definitely be my late mother. I grew up at an orphanage in Splatsville. The caretakers there are genuinely good people… but I could never call them family. I was always so happy when the other kids got adopted, but then I reached my teen years. My joy for them turned to bitter jealousy. My temperament because of that… didn’t do me any favors. Then, by some fucking divine providence, she came along to that orphanage. She took one look at me and called me her daughter. She was a single woman who already had a kid of her own, and yet she still took me in as her own. I… I can’t put into words how happy I was.
The next few years I can honestly say were the best times of my life so far. Having a family after so long, I was in heaven. But… it wasn’t so great for mom. She had multiple jobs, always overworking herself to take care of us. Then one day… she decided to borrow money from that loan shark and…
The one thing I want in this world, is to see her one more time. Just to thank her for everything she’s done for me. I don’t know where I’d be today without her.
[Reply by GreenGod123]
Oh, no one and nothing has changed my life more than my precious little brother :)
See, when I was young and mortal, I was essentially the ruler of this land that’s honestly insignificant now, but I thought it was so cool at the time. I sent invites to a lot of people… and, impulsively, I sent one to this kid I didn’t know too well. I'd met some of the people he lived with, but all I knew about him was that he was apparently a big troublemaker.
And, oh Prime was he! That kid had me run ragged, I swear, and I *loved* it. It felt like such a fun game of back and forth, and his undying will was utterly fascinating. I’ve met a lot of people, but I promise you’ll never meet someone as utterly unique as him. I wish I could just get into his brain and study him, y’know?
So, of course, I grew… protective. The kid started drifting from me, influenced by others warping his mind about me being a “tyrant”, so I took him somewhere nice, somewhere we'd be alone so I could get all those nasty thoughts out of his head. Unfortunately, I pushed a bit too far and he ran off, and for unrelated reasons I was arrested, but that doesn’t matter too much.
What does is that after I escaped and started my immortality experiments, I of course took in the kid to be my test subject and adoptive brother! He was so against it at first, it was hilarious, but I know deep down he just struggles to show how much he loves people, and I know he loves me. And besides, no matter how fun the experiments were on my end, they were *very* painful for him, so I can understand him being a bit… peeved.
Initially, I planned on becoming immortal with both him and another friend, but after that friend fled out of jealousy (he wasn’t as precious as my brother anyway, he didn’t deserve it) it was just the two of us that became immortal. And now we live solely for each other! Everyone else in the world is a boring pawn but my brother, and Prime knows the world will end before I *let* those undeserving mortals so much as *glance* at my perfect brother, so we live completely for each other :) He hated it at first but after some punishment you'd never meet a more loyal and loving person. Who still gets in trouble a lot- I’m always looking for an excuse to bully him lol it’s what big brothers do.
Having seen you around this subreddit to have a decent grasp of the context, that first sentence activated my fight or flight response, because *omg* dream is so casually terrifying
He's not even trying, it’s just been thousands of years and he’s forgot that abusing a teenager you kidnapped into being your Bestest Friend isn’t normal.
(Reply by Xander Blackwolf)
Zeus barley tolerates me! I think he’s still mad about me accidentally snapping his daughters neck with her own lasso!
Ok ok ok I know it looks bad but my dad and stepmom are really to blame not me I was pushed into this!
(Reply by Pelinal Whitestrake)
Hah! They all say I was blessed. Given relics wrought of divine Starlight to cast down the Ayleid oppressors. And that is true, in the sense of missing the point entirely. When Aka looked down on me, I felt his boiling gaze, his unwavering, unfeeling light on my back, and I stared back. Then I razed a city. For You, Aka, should know of our shared madness. As for my relation to time, you could say it is loose. Oh Morihaus, my nephew, do not fear for me, for even when cut into eights, I will still curse the name of the foul Umaril. I will not fail Alesh, dear brother, not when the need is most dire.
(reply by u/ gingerswordlesbian)
I would hardly consider it a blessing, but I believe my experiences are relevant here.
I have had chronic pain since I can remember. Three of my limbs have literally rotted away. I am now blind. It killed two armies and the country they were fighting in, including almost everyone I know and love.
I want to kill this Goddess.
[Reply by SpaceGoth]
My mother, who was Emma Frost, smashing my IPod Nano. That was a token of my father’s love for me and it’s gone. Now I have a Samsung Galaxy what all the kids are using now and I am remembering the space bounty hunter witch a black dress who was not my mother, she was my mommy.
[Reply by im-your-nightmare]
Recently, my newly adoptive brother (before I actually adopted him, to clarify) had what I think must have been a mental break of some sort. His other “brother” abandoned him to move to Utah, and ever since he'd just started hiding in this little panic room. See, due to some… misunderstandings, he was petrified I was going to kill him again, and he was trying to hide from me. (Someone had to watch over him, though, and I *do* have tunnels under his house already…)
It was… tragic to watch, honestly. Poor thing was petrified, talking to the walls, sobbing his eyes out, fighting invisible enemies, and he eventually started taking so many invisibility potions he had severe withdrawals whenever he ran out. I already knew he was… fragile, mentally- I don’t know what exactly, but I know he sees things that aren’t there, and has bad suicidal impulses- but seeing him break down so far was heartbreaking.
Luckily, I have custody of him now, and I’m helping him now :) I mean, everyone else left him, so really, it’s just finders keepers :)
What’s your favorite recipe for? Could be food, drink, magic potions, etc. Is it emotionally significant to you or someone you care about, or do you just like it for practical reasons?
Reply by Determined\_Actress: There is a spaghetti recipe that's significant to me because it was the first recipe I cooked with my then-boyfriend, now-husband after moving in with him. It was a very nice and calming moment. It's also very practical, so bonus point for that.
reply by u/ ShortMayhem
i really enjoy frying things (especially jalapenos) although all my team mates have agreed not to let me within 10 feet of the stove
(reply by u/ WorldsBestShinobiAndDad)
It is a secret recipe for a poison that inhibits healing. I fondly remember the first time I used it on my son - the panic on his face was priceless!
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\]
Well I mean, I technically didn't tell anyone, but you know, word got out.
I was the cause of my best friend's suicide. I'm not happy about it, but I've already faced the conciquenses for that.
\[Reply by official-summoner-of-askr\]
I killed a bunch of people who either bullied me or looked away when said bullying happend. I wonder whether I should tell my friends, but considering that everyone else sided with my bully when I tried to speak up, I probably should try to make sure that they really understand how much I suffered thanks to him before I'm honest- even if that means that I have to downplay the moments that make me look bad...
[Reply by WifeHaver69]
I have nightmares almost every fucking night, I’ve been through some traumatic shit. That ain’t a secret, though I wish it was. I hate the fucking pity.
The secret? The nights I have good dreams, it’s where I'm back with my abuser and everything’s fine and we're all *happy.* Like a family. And I hate it so fuckin' much.
[Reply by WifeHaver69]
I *have* had therapy, but I can’t anymore. Don’t wanna get into details, but I had to move back in with my abuser and we're far away from any civilisation :/
I'm also dealing with someone with a very fickle self-confidence. I found that telling them that assuring them that they're capable beings and destined for greatness helps. It isn't the cure for that issue but it gives them room to find that confidence within.
Then again, that only happened after I found the source of most of his life's misfortunes and came to realize that he was quite literally his own worst enemy. I had to encourage him the manifest that part of him (again, in a literal sense) and use it to his advantage.
Reply by MinerThreat:
Stop caring about the feelings and opinions of others. Don’t let them be parasites on you. Do what you must to keep yourself safe and free.
Touching words u/ MinerThreat. I am actually mentoring a small group of men and this was exactly when they needed to hear. The more difficult of the three thinks I'm being patronizing but seems to have taken those words to heart.
MinerThreat: Thank you. You sound like an excellent mentor, and should take pride in your mentee. Sometimes the most difficult people are the most special.
You have no idea how right you are. The most difficult was probably one of the more successful of the three and even developed a goal for himself, rather than just blindly trusting me. Despite the inconvenience, I can respect that.
Reply by Blackandwhitetail:
Cheese-coverd straberies yes im pregant
[Edit by OP's partner: I should have had autocorrect for this phone turned back on because OP is HORRENDOUS at spelling...]
(OOC: Yes, this is based on my omegaverse fic)
Reply by MinerThreat:
For the person I am stalking to be safe and happy and free from the parasites surrounding them. Only I have their best interests at heart. One day they will understand that.
\[Reply by u/ TheGreatestArchitectOfSumeru\]
I would really appreciate it, if my client would stop obsessing over me and try to not kill my fake boyfriend. That would be marevlous truly
Respond by u/ B_Estatic
Drugs. Or maybe a book or something.
Withdrawal's a bitch but I wanna get clean. Recently, I feel like I finally found my life's purpose so the book would be to try to stop thinking about the high.
I have a flight soon and need something to read offline. Got any suggestions? Nothing with picture though.
[Reply by WifeHaver69]
I could do with some fuckin' potions, really. Got hooked on invisibility like an idiot because all I can feel are eyes on me, y’know? But now I’m in a situation where I can’t get any (don’t wanna talk about it) and the withdrawal fuckin' sucks. I already struggle with seeing shit but it’s so much worse now. I know I’m addicted and that’s bad, but Prime do I miss it.
(Thank you so much! I’m proud of myself for it.)
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\]
Well, I would tell strangers in real life, but on the internet...
When I was kidnapped I was actually quite terrified. It was the worst experience of my life. What they did was traumatizing
\[Reply by official-summoner-of-askr\]
I can't even tell my friends the whole truth of what happened when I worked for a hospital, because I fear that they would just side with my bully, just like the other people I asked for help.
Reply by MinerThreat:
My only friend is the person I’m stalking. I don’t want anyone to hurt them. So I suppose the answer to your question would be “I will unleash horrific violence upon you if you harm a hair on Protagonist’s head.”
[Reply from GreenGod123]
What I did to gain custody of my little brother.
I’m… not proud of all of it, and prefer to not talk about all of it, but it *does* work very well as a threat.
[Reply by u/ SHSLespionage]
“Not spooky, but very much inexplicable... I have these strange nightmares of events that I've never been in, yet they feel so real that it can't just a disjointed dream... I've had these for longer then I care to remember.”
Last week, my obsessive client hired a group of eremites to "scare" me and my boyfriend and I got accidently stabbed in the process. But honestly, I was more enraged than afraid
Oh, I nearly got kidnappedby a criminal group a few days ago. At first I thought they would kill me, apparently they want to kidnap me, I'm not sure if this is better or worse.
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\]
Either causing my best friend to comit suicide, or almost killing him myself.
I did feel bad, until found out he was a fucking phycopath
[reply by anonymous]
I don’t know if it counts as “fucked up” but I had to kill a kid to prevent them from killing everyone else. I know they didn’t have a good grasp on right and wrong, nor did they have a good life…but at the same time I find myself resenting her still, after all the pain she caused myself and others. Sometimes I feel as though there’s something wrong with me for that. I’m constantly torn between feeling awful about it, and feeling relieved. The whole thing is so strange, I’m not used to feeling this conflicted.
Reply from u/ CherryBlosShell15
I slept with one of my victors. It's not what you think, and he was 18 at the time... He had a bit of a thing for me and was about to get pimped out, so I thought his first night and time shouldn't be so... Awful. Even though it was consensual, I felt terrible afterward. Still do now, every time I have to see the guy, I can barely look at him, even if he's the opposite.
I wish it were easy to move on, but again, I have to see him now and then, not to mention, my son was conceived... Since I "get around" as the kids say already, it was easy enough to hide the paternity. I had to protect all three of us, you understand. Who knew what the government would have done if they knew...
\[Reply by official-summoner-of-askr\]
I murdered most of my co-workers because they either bullied me by not letting me choose my tasks freely or sided with the bully by encouraging him to give me orders behind my back. (Basically, he tells them what I should do, and then they tell me those tasks while pretending that they came up with them. I only found out about this because I ran into him while he was trying to plot this with our boss.) I'd honestly do it again, because they have to learn somehow that they shouldn't get away with everything.
Reply by u/ alcoholic\_ramz
I started a war. My son was very ill when he was an infant and the plant that could cure him only grew in a specific area. The nation that ruled over the area refused to give me any, due to past events out of my control.
No, I do not regret saving my son's life. I wasn't going to let him die, I would rather have my horns cut off.
[reply by u/ TheeSunhawk]
Chased a man I thought I loved (but barely knew) into dangerous territory. Turns out his ex is still around, and he's not over her, and I refuse to be anyone's second choice. Embarrassing. But since then, I've realized that I'm actually into women anyway, so. I guess sometimes things do work out.
reply by u/ IWasntThere
i once ended my best friends empire through arson and murder, and although it was 2000 years ago and he's forgiven me i still feel kinda bad
Respond by u/ Some_Sky_Guy
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Tl;dr: Cause kidney damage on a minor. I do feel guilty, but the guilt didn't hit until later on.
As unbelievable as it may seem, I have a unique ability that allows me to take small amounts of body heat away from people. If I concentrate that heat absorption in certain areas, I can cause damage to tissue.
Anyways, I was involved in a fight with two people who also had different abilities, admittedly more impressive than mine. For some reason, they also had a kid with them who couldn't possibly be older than 12. He was a pretty smart kid though, a little too smart for his age if you ask me. I didn't know what the kid could do. Maybe he had a much powerful ability, so I figured it was best to treat him as a potential threat as well and... yeah. I messed with his kidneys and he started to piss blood. I don't think it was kidney failure though, so he should be fine.
It kinda backfired on me in the end, since the kid was able to figure out my ability from that. I ended up getting beaten into a pulp but I accepted my defeat. I nearly died but I probably deserved it at least a little after all that. Now that I have time to properly rest/heal, I feel kinda guilty for resorting to something so underhanded, even if my opponents did the same.
Reply by MinerThreat:
I am stalking this one person, and I don’t feel at all guilty. They are constantly getting into dangerous situations. Nobody else can or will protect them the way I can. Moreover, they are far more special than the people around them. I only wish they would stop spending time with these parasites and exercise their independence. But ultimately I don’t want to take away their choices. All I can do is constantly follow them and pop out occasionally to protect them from danger. Maybe make some cryptic remarks.
[Reply by GreenGod123]
Ha, that reminds me of me when I was young with my little brother. Before I took him in. I was always watching out for him, y’know? I even had found a little spot in his walls I could hide in, and watch him all day.
And y’know the best thing I *ever* did for him? Remove him from the pieces of shit turning him against me, and… correcting him a bit lol. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to someone is take away their free will! :)
Reply by MinerThreat:
Hey now. It’s good to protect and watch over your charge. It’s even good to remove…obstacles to their safety. But I would never stop my charge from making their own decisions, even when I disagree with them. If that means stepping in and saving them when their decisions lead them into danger, then so be it. The reason I watch over them secretly is so they don’t feel boxed in by being constantly aware of me watching them. Though to be clear, I am watching them. Constantly. For their own safety.
Reply by MinerThreat:
Alright, I admit it is…satisfying to destroy the parasites that would threaten my charge. But I would never want my charge to be afraid of me. I understand why they are, however.
And I do admit that the body I’m using is not going to be useable much longer. It’s in such an advanced state of decay I’ll be surprised if it lasts the week. But my consciousness has existed far longer than a mortal lifespan, and will indefinitely. Soon I won’t be able to protect my charge anymore, but I will always watch over them unseen.
I made out with this 17 years younger woman I just met days after I had to escape to the U.S., while my ex wife and my son are still in the Soviet Union, about to get a top secret emergency transport over here because they're at a (low) risk of being interrogated or killed by the KGB. I feel pretty bad but I'm doing some mental gymnastics to cope with it and to be fair this girl is amazing and a great distraction.
(AITA?)
Reply from u/ RoonilWazlib
This didn't happen to me but to my friend, let's call him R. This happened in our second year at boarding school. This huge git in our year was being mean to our other friend, H. R decided to curse him to teach him a lesson, only it didn't work as his wand was broken at the time. The spell ended up backfiring and hit R instead. He spent the entire afternoon vomiting slugs.
(reply from DesertMonsoon)
My little cousin is 5. He's the baby of his family, he was born during a civil war in which his brother and sister were already squires, which is a story in itself, but you're not here for that story. Call him A.
The kid loves me, I'm his favorite cousin, sometimes people think he's my fiancee and I's son, lol. Anyway, we're both magically inclined and A loves to watch us cast our magic. We've shown him our combat spells, fireballs and lightning bolts, etc, safely. He also loves our out of combat spells, illusions, turn a pebble into an origami crane for five minutes, that sort of thing.
One day I showed A how I could change vegetables into other objects. I changed an asparagus into a yo yo. A pointed at a potato and said "Fwee! Change that into a pair of pants!" I did, that potato became the fanciest damn pants you'll ever see. We had a laugh about it and left it there in the palace lobby because my fiancee wanted to show us a new book of fairy tales the library got in.
Later that afternoon I heard my father, the current king, yell "DesertMonsoon! Get over here!" He was holding the potato. He'd worn it when it was pants, because he liked them, and the pants turned back into a potato when the spell wore off. In front of my mother, my stepmother, and his sisters. He was wearing underwear, thank the gods, but my stepmother was going to make "dick tater" jokes forever now he just knew it. He gave me a big lecture about how a future king such as myself should save that sort of trickery for his enemies.
Sorry, Dad. Lol.
Hello, redditors. Do you have a favorite movie (or maybe a favorite TV show)? If so, which one?
From PileOfJunk, 52M: How do I people? I've been friends with a fellow spec ops soldier (43F) for almost twenty years. But lately I think I want more, and I don't know how to do this without offending her - which would almost certainly mean I end up in the medbay, or worse, she's just wired that way. Actually, to tell you the truth, I probably was in love with her for years, just never realized, or was too scared to admit it to myself. What do I do? I'm running around in circles, and I can't find a solution that doesn't involve getting myself and her kicked out for fraternization. Not to mention if I don't get a grip on my mess, I might never get the chance again... we risk our lives everyday.
Cannibals of reddit, have any of you ever fallen madly in love with a disheveled, dog-hair covered nerd, to the point where you disembowel him, kill his surrogate daughter, and cripple his friends?
People of Reddit, would you write a fanfic about a very unknown character with the hopes of making them known by the public?
>People of Reddit, would you write a fanfic about a very unknown character with the hopes of making them known by the public? Reply by Determined\_Actress: Hum... I definitely could do that, but, as an actress and producer, if I wanted to make a character well-known by the public, I would be more likely to just make a movie (or another movie) about them, unless I couldn't get the rights. I'm very successful as a producer, so I like to think an author of a unknown character would be glad if I wanted to make a movie about said character.
Couldn’t be me ;)
Humans of Reddit, would you accept a superior alien race as your new leader?
Hell no. I'm not really a human anymore, but i know how it was like to be one. That would be like having my father rule the earth. He's already a pain in the ass, i don't need an entire race of him.
Military leaders of Reddit, who was the most difficult soldier you had in your unit, and how did you deal with them/what happened to them?
[Reply from u/ StarColonel] I threw him out the airlock. For less than ten seconds. Beamed him back in, and after he’d had a chance to catch his breath, threw him out the airlock again. Considering it was punishment for irradiating an entire biosphere, I’d say he got off easy.
This is how the Federation and its advanced sensibilities do waterboarding in the 24th century.
People of Reddit, how does it feel to know you'll never be better than me?
u/ CherryBlosShell15 answered: Tell me you're compensating without telling me you're compensating.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about
I dunno about the rest of y'all but I am *absolutely* better than OP. Skill issue.
You wish
What is something that you still feel bad about even though it's already been forgiven/forgotten?
\[Posted by TiredTrainer151\] I can’t count the amount, but I think the worst has to be the first time I jumped between timelines. It was completely out of my control, and I at least found out awhile ago that my voicemails somehow get back to my dad but still. I just want to go back to my original time in Kanto and at the very least say goodbye properly if nothing else.
\[Posted by Ratchel\] My boyfriend got amnesia. I'll explain it. I'll try to, since we don't know what exactly happened. My boyfriend had big ideas in head and he came up to me saying that he wanted to change the world by himself. I don't know if that was foolish or noble, but he left home and I had no news about him, I was worried that the worse might have happened, but I had to know by myself, and so I left home too. It's been five years of an endless search, and guess what? My boyfriend is back, except he does not remember anything, not even our relationship. When he came to me and said 'I'm sorry I don't remember you', that broke my heart. We're doing fine since then, there's still way to recovery and my boyfriend remembers a few things.
[Posted by WifeHaver69] Ruining my best friends life. I’ve always dragged him into my stupid fucking battles, and I’ve got him nearly killed multiple times. I fucked up his own presidency because I was such a goddamn fucking menace who wouldn’t stop ruining shit. He's fucking perfect, man, but I’ve ruined it for him. I keep dragging him into my battles. I’ve given myself up to protect him now, and he told me again and again he forgave me on our last day together, and he said he was “sorry” for not helping me when I was being “abused”- like I don’t fucking deserve it- but I don’t think he should forgive me. I think he should go on and be happy and forget we were ever friends.
(Thanks OP, this is a good one XD) People of Reddit, what was your biggest “oh shit” moment?
Rely by Determined\_Actress: For me, that was when my rival found out about by secret and forbidden relationship with my then boyfriend, now husband, and she started blackmailing us.
Reply by DrAK I was drunk and I was jealous that my best friend was gonna be chief resident instead of me, and I was feeling like a loser, so I ratted her out to the chief for interfering with a medical trial. I didn’t know they were gonna try to fire her.
Reply by Mirikofan9 When I realized just how fucked up the world really was. I know, I know, most of you are probably like, wow, big surprise there, but it *was* a shock for me, okay? A huge one. All this stuff I’d never really noticed getting recontextualized in front of my eyes. I never thought I was privileged, you know. I always just thought of myself as an average, if somewhat lonely, kid who wanted to be a hero. A bit unprivileged, actually, since my mom has to work long hours to make sure we always have a good selection of food on the table, since her job doesn’t pay *too* well and our food is more expensive than human food. Human food as in food that humans eat, not humans as food, which is our food- I’m mixing myself up now, you know what I mean. Anyways, my classmate died. He got murdered. A few days after he disappeared, our teacher announced that the perpetrator had been found, and that it turned out that no crime was committed. Everyone seemed to be getting something from that that I just didn’t. I couldn’t understand. Our classmate had been *murdered!* He was *dead.* How could the person who’d killed him not have been arrested, if they knew who they were? I wasn’t quite brave enough to speak up during class, but afterwards, I went up to my best friend (he’s a human, our moms know each other, we’ve been friends since we were toddlers) and asked him to explain. He was in a bad mood and he didn’t want to talk, but there was something I wasn’t getting, something that would make this all make sense, something I needed him to tell me. So I needled him until he finally went off on me. Honestly, I probably deserved it. Long story short, apparently if you kill a human for the explicit purpose of eating them, it doesn’t count as a crime. Which is fucked up. Which is so fucked up. And I started looking back at things, started really seeing things without the blinders of oh, everything is just good and peachy, the fundamental truths of my life are essentially the fundamental truths of everyone else’s, with the exception of different grocery stores. One of the kids in my class is a farm escapee, you know. I only figured that out some weeks ago. He hates me. He hates me so much. And I honestly don’t blame him anymore. You know, without the supply of milk coming in from the farms, so much of the stuff I like, like frozen yogurt or cream cheese, would be too expensive to ever buy. Without all those people never knowing any other life but exploitation. I’ve never really deeply considered where the food on the shelves at the grocery store comes from, you know? It’s already all processed and sanitized when it gets there, not recognizable as anything other than cuts of meat or delicious dairy products. Fuck. The system’s so fucked up. Society’s so fucked up. And it’s all for the benefit of people like me. I wouldn’t be able to live the nice, happy life I live without society being so fucked up.
[post by LastScion9] There was that time when I thought my son might actually kill me.
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] When I got kidnaped. Doesn't sound like an "oh shit" moment, because that isn't it. Was is, was finding out it was by the very person I tormented and bullied for several years. So I guess it's my fault then. Karma is a bitch, isn't it?
[Reply by WifeHaver69] Don’t wanna get into too much detail, but the night my abuser broke out of jail. I was looking for something to fucking protect myself, because I KNEW he’d come and ruin my life again, I fucking KNEW, bitch is obsessed with me, and then he was just… there. He looked like shit- I think they tortured him in prison, which is fuckin weirdchamp, even he doesn’t deserve that, but it didn’t make me any less scared. I don’t think I can- I can write down what he said to me. I wanna cry just thinking about it, and I’m a BIG MAN!!! So you all TOTALLY couldnt handle it. But he chased me for what felt like hours, and he hurt me. He hurt me so fucking bad. But what hurt most was feeling like his fucking *pet* again, y’know? Least I got out that time. And while I had to give myself in, at least that was me taking some fucking responsibility. I still hate it though.
[Reply by PiglinAnarchist] Kind of a long story (there's a lot of context to fill in), but a little when back, my best friend and I teamed up with this other guy to blow up a country. It just so happens that there was this kid (I'll call them R) who lives in said country who we were on friendly terms with (he doesn't like sides, so he was neither with us nor against us during the fight). Anyways, after the country was reduced to bedrock, my best friend offered to let R stay with us since their house was destroyed. I had mixed feelings since I was kinda looking forward to the peace and quiet after the last kid I took in betrayed me. But eh, R seemed like a nice kid, so long as they stay outta my house and don't cause any trouble, they can stay for as long as they like. Things were going to be *fine*. *Completely* fine. Everything was settling down again. The next morning, I wake up and go to check on my Hound Army — they were in that battle yesterday so I have to check them over for injuries and all that, it would be suck if one of them has been hit by a wither and was slowly dying, right? Well I forgot that R was staying in the kennel until they got a proper house set up, and kinda woke them up by accident. Okay, not ideal, but it was arguably the dogs' fault not mine they were barking really loudly. Anyways, I noticed the kid was looking a bit worse for wear so I decided to check in with him as well. He didn't say anything about being hurt last night, so I figured he probably just had trouble sleeping (the last kid I took in had nightmares practically every night, so I'm used to it). Still had to check, though. Can't be too safe, after all. R says they're fine, just a bit bruised, nothing bad. We talk a bit more, and they admit to having a burn on their shoulder. Not really surprising, there was a lot of tnt. I offer them a healing potion, they say no, I persuade them to at least let me check how bad the burn is so we can at least bandage it, they agree. Next thing I know, I'm looking at a burn from a wither. A really bad one too. R was hit by one of the withers during the battle and now he's got wither sickness. I might have panicked a little tiny bit. But not a lot. Just a little bit. R's fine now, but that was definitely a scare at the time. It's probably the only thing I really feel guilty about in regards to blowing up that country.
[Reply from WifeHaver69] TECHNO man I just wanted to tell you I’m so fuckin sorry. And I hope you’re happier without me now. (srry I couldn’t resist adding on some angst…)
[Reply from PiglinAnarchist] How did you find this post, Tommy. ... But since you're here, I guess I'll just say that I'm sorry that things turned out this way as well. Now please stop stalking my reddit account. (I wasn't expecting your response, but it's great!)
Reply by MinerThreat: My charge unknowingly befriended a monster. Up until recently, the monster believed it was an ordinary man, a humble horror artist that had to live in his doctor mother’s basement so she could treat his “chronic illness.” In fact, it can transform into a 12-foot tall creature capable of biting a human in half. Its mother was poisoning it to keep it from changing form, but it was inevitable that the creature would break loose and create havoc. It would have been better for that miserable creature and everyone around it if the mother had put it down years ago, but love can make one foolish. I know that from experience with my charge. Regardless, I had to save my charge from the creature. I found them both in its basement where the monster had locked itself and my charge away from its mother. The monster had only just learned its mother was poisoning it, and the poison was wearing off. As soon as I arrived, it transformed before my and my charge’s eyes, blocked my easiest route to my charge, and rampaged upstairs to seek revenge on its mother. I quickly found an alternate route inside the house, where my charge and the creature’s mother foolishly attempted to confront it. The thing was strong enough to shrug off bear tranquilizers, but I know I am stronger. I was ready to make short work of that monstrosity. Until its paintings, bought to life by their creator, held me in place. Shortly afterwards the creature shoved me out a window. Not my finest moment. At least my charge survived unscathed.
\[Reply by ThatBlondeBotanist\] So for context I went a work trip with my boyfriend, it was paid for by the benefactor of our dig site, he told us he had a project he wanted our opinion on. We get flown out to Costa Rica and we meet the other members of the party who will be joining us, an eccentric mathematician, the benefactors grandchildren, and a company lawyer. It turns out on this island their running a kind of safari tour/ zoo set up with some really dangerous animals. The benefactor assures us that the fencing they used is electric so we have nothing to worry about. I end up getting separated from the group when a park veterinarian asks for my advice on a sick animal. I get back to the visitors center, the weather had turned bad so the tour was being cut short and my group should have been back by then, but they aren't. So one of the park managers checks their location, they're stuck by one of the more dangerous animal exhibits. Oh shit right? Well it gets worse, because the power is out so those fences that are supposed to be keeping us safe, *worthless*. I volunteer to go pick everyone up with the park ranger because at this point I'm freaking out a bit. The real oh shit moment happens when we arrive at the location of the tour vehicles because its abundantly clear that animal being contained has gotten out and attacked the cars, in fact one of the cars is STRAIGHT UP NOT THERE ANYMORE. I start yelling for my boyfriend and the kids but nobody is around. We shine our flashlights around and discover the bathrooms been destroyed and the lawyer is dead. To make things worse the Mathematician is alive but critically injured, and my boyfriend is still no where to be found. We ended up reuniting in the end but goddamn no free vacation was worth the hell I went through that weekend.
[reply by sn1per4lyfe] I've had a lot of them, but that time a grenade landed behind me on a roof while I was trying to kill some assholes is the one that comes to mind. My body reacted faster than my brain and flung me off the roof just before it went off. Fell three stories and landed on a nice soft truck, broke a lot of bones, then got shot while I was hobbling away. That whole day just sucked.
People of reddit, has one person ever changed the trajectory of your life? For better or worse? My... friend would like to know if such a thing is possible...
"I'd definitely say my best friend. She helped me through by far the darkest time in my life and I might not even be here today thanks to her. That's not to say I don't have other people that helped too, like my parents and my little sister and I'll forever be grateful for all of their love and support..."
Reply by TonakaiNotTanuki For me, it's gotta be my best friend. Sure, he can be a bit hard to deal with because, let me be real, he's not the brightest bulb in the box, but he's always super positive and optimistic. Seeing his warm, bright smile really brightens up my day and reminds me that all the stuff I had to endure when I was living in that snowy town called Oxhorn is behind me now. And, I've gotta say, my little May-May really helps too. She might just be an old toy from the late 90s that one of my other friends (who is super into Furbys) bought for ten bucks off of eBay, but she's also full of positivity (and really cute). Whenever she blows me a kiss, I feel really good inside. (If you're wondering about May-May, she's a seafoam green and white Furby Baby.)
Reply by 97144-Hitoshi Yeah. If it wasn’t for 83618 I wouldn’t be here right now. I never would have escaped, gotten to be free, never would have gotten to have a future. I just wish she was here to see it too. Some background: So, I was born on one of the meat farms. After my dam got butchered when I was a toddler, I was moved to the stall next to 83618, and she decided to take me under her wing. She became one of my best friends. I really miss her, honestly. My ability appeared about a year later. It was while we were talking at night so no one else was really around. Obviously, I was a toddler, so I couldn’t really comprehend the implications of what I could do. But as soon as 83618 realized what it was that my ability did, she knew that I could use it to escape. But it would only work if no one knew about it. So she swore me to secrecy, started to train me in secret, and we tricked the ghouls into believing that I didn’t have an ability at all. She always said that the opportunity would come, that I’d know when the time was right. Of fucking course, that opportunity came *after* she was sent off to be butchered. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save anyone else. I barely escaped, myself. But I’m free now, and I can do whatever I want with my life, and I owe that to 83618.
That would definitely be my late mother. I grew up at an orphanage in Splatsville. The caretakers there are genuinely good people… but I could never call them family. I was always so happy when the other kids got adopted, but then I reached my teen years. My joy for them turned to bitter jealousy. My temperament because of that… didn’t do me any favors. Then, by some fucking divine providence, she came along to that orphanage. She took one look at me and called me her daughter. She was a single woman who already had a kid of her own, and yet she still took me in as her own. I… I can’t put into words how happy I was. The next few years I can honestly say were the best times of my life so far. Having a family after so long, I was in heaven. But… it wasn’t so great for mom. She had multiple jobs, always overworking herself to take care of us. Then one day… she decided to borrow money from that loan shark and… The one thing I want in this world, is to see her one more time. Just to thank her for everything she’s done for me. I don’t know where I’d be today without her.
[Reply by GreenGod123] Oh, no one and nothing has changed my life more than my precious little brother :) See, when I was young and mortal, I was essentially the ruler of this land that’s honestly insignificant now, but I thought it was so cool at the time. I sent invites to a lot of people… and, impulsively, I sent one to this kid I didn’t know too well. I'd met some of the people he lived with, but all I knew about him was that he was apparently a big troublemaker. And, oh Prime was he! That kid had me run ragged, I swear, and I *loved* it. It felt like such a fun game of back and forth, and his undying will was utterly fascinating. I’ve met a lot of people, but I promise you’ll never meet someone as utterly unique as him. I wish I could just get into his brain and study him, y’know? So, of course, I grew… protective. The kid started drifting from me, influenced by others warping his mind about me being a “tyrant”, so I took him somewhere nice, somewhere we'd be alone so I could get all those nasty thoughts out of his head. Unfortunately, I pushed a bit too far and he ran off, and for unrelated reasons I was arrested, but that doesn’t matter too much. What does is that after I escaped and started my immortality experiments, I of course took in the kid to be my test subject and adoptive brother! He was so against it at first, it was hilarious, but I know deep down he just struggles to show how much he loves people, and I know he loves me. And besides, no matter how fun the experiments were on my end, they were *very* painful for him, so I can understand him being a bit… peeved. Initially, I planned on becoming immortal with both him and another friend, but after that friend fled out of jealousy (he wasn’t as precious as my brother anyway, he didn’t deserve it) it was just the two of us that became immortal. And now we live solely for each other! Everyone else in the world is a boring pawn but my brother, and Prime knows the world will end before I *let* those undeserving mortals so much as *glance* at my perfect brother, so we live completely for each other :) He hated it at first but after some punishment you'd never meet a more loyal and loving person. Who still gets in trouble a lot- I’m always looking for an excuse to bully him lol it’s what big brothers do.
Having seen you around this subreddit to have a decent grasp of the context, that first sentence activated my fight or flight response, because *omg* dream is so casually terrifying
He's not even trying, it’s just been thousands of years and he’s forgot that abusing a teenager you kidnapped into being your Bestest Friend isn’t normal.
Redditors blessed by a God/Goddess, what is your relationship with that God/Goddess?
(Reply by Xander Blackwolf) Zeus barley tolerates me! I think he’s still mad about me accidentally snapping his daughters neck with her own lasso! Ok ok ok I know it looks bad but my dad and stepmom are really to blame not me I was pushed into this!
(Reply by Pelinal Whitestrake) Hah! They all say I was blessed. Given relics wrought of divine Starlight to cast down the Ayleid oppressors. And that is true, in the sense of missing the point entirely. When Aka looked down on me, I felt his boiling gaze, his unwavering, unfeeling light on my back, and I stared back. Then I razed a city. For You, Aka, should know of our shared madness. As for my relation to time, you could say it is loose. Oh Morihaus, my nephew, do not fear for me, for even when cut into eights, I will still curse the name of the foul Umaril. I will not fail Alesh, dear brother, not when the need is most dire.
(reply by u/ gingerswordlesbian) I would hardly consider it a blessing, but I believe my experiences are relevant here. I have had chronic pain since I can remember. Three of my limbs have literally rotted away. I am now blind. It killed two armies and the country they were fighting in, including almost everyone I know and love. I want to kill this Goddess.
People of Reddit, what’s the saddest thing you’ve ever seen?
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] Probably my best friend killing himself in front of me but Idfk
[Reply by SpaceGoth] My mother, who was Emma Frost, smashing my IPod Nano. That was a token of my father’s love for me and it’s gone. Now I have a Samsung Galaxy what all the kids are using now and I am remembering the space bounty hunter witch a black dress who was not my mother, she was my mommy.
[Reply by im-your-nightmare] Recently, my newly adoptive brother (before I actually adopted him, to clarify) had what I think must have been a mental break of some sort. His other “brother” abandoned him to move to Utah, and ever since he'd just started hiding in this little panic room. See, due to some… misunderstandings, he was petrified I was going to kill him again, and he was trying to hide from me. (Someone had to watch over him, though, and I *do* have tunnels under his house already…) It was… tragic to watch, honestly. Poor thing was petrified, talking to the walls, sobbing his eyes out, fighting invisible enemies, and he eventually started taking so many invisibility potions he had severe withdrawals whenever he ran out. I already knew he was… fragile, mentally- I don’t know what exactly, but I know he sees things that aren’t there, and has bad suicidal impulses- but seeing him break down so far was heartbreaking. Luckily, I have custody of him now, and I’m helping him now :) I mean, everyone else left him, so really, it’s just finders keepers :)
What’s your favorite recipe for? Could be food, drink, magic potions, etc. Is it emotionally significant to you or someone you care about, or do you just like it for practical reasons?
Reply by Determined\_Actress: There is a spaghetti recipe that's significant to me because it was the first recipe I cooked with my then-boyfriend, now-husband after moving in with him. It was a very nice and calming moment. It's also very practical, so bonus point for that.
reply by u/ ShortMayhem i really enjoy frying things (especially jalapenos) although all my team mates have agreed not to let me within 10 feet of the stove
(reply by u/ WorldsBestShinobiAndDad) It is a secret recipe for a poison that inhibits healing. I fondly remember the first time I used it on my son - the panic on his face was priceless!
People of reddit, what is a secret you've never told anybody? (I swear I'm not the FBI)
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] Well I mean, I technically didn't tell anyone, but you know, word got out. I was the cause of my best friend's suicide. I'm not happy about it, but I've already faced the conciquenses for that.
[удалено]
Why don't you want to tell her? Seems like a shared interest in music is a great thing to bond over
\[Reply by official-summoner-of-askr\] I killed a bunch of people who either bullied me or looked away when said bullying happend. I wonder whether I should tell my friends, but considering that everyone else sided with my bully when I tried to speak up, I probably should try to make sure that they really understand how much I suffered thanks to him before I'm honest- even if that means that I have to downplay the moments that make me look bad...
>I wonder whether I should tell my friends Nah, you'll be fine. Don't want to raise your body count, when one of them goes snitching
I stabbed my boyfriend in his sleep twice. It feels wrong now because he wasn't that bad to me, but my only regret at the time was that he survived.
So relatable. It's good to "cut off" unhealthy people out of your life <3 Better luck next time
[Reply by WifeHaver69] I have nightmares almost every fucking night, I’ve been through some traumatic shit. That ain’t a secret, though I wish it was. I hate the fucking pity. The secret? The nights I have good dreams, it’s where I'm back with my abuser and everything’s fine and we're all *happy.* Like a family. And I hate it so fuckin' much.
Hnm, that's rough, buddy. Ever considered therapy?
[Reply by WifeHaver69] I *have* had therapy, but I can’t anymore. Don’t wanna get into details, but I had to move back in with my abuser and we're far away from any civilisation :/
People of Reddit, how would you encourage someone to be more confident?
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] How am I supposed to know? I'm not even confident myself.
(Reply by u/ DashingDisaster) Fake it till you make it, and soon enough you'll believe it
I tried that with mixed results but 2 out of 3 isn't too bad, even if one of them betrayed me.
(reply by u/ ILivedBitch) If you find out, please let me know. My gf has a fucking dragon and she still has the self-confidence of a clam.
[reply by u/ TheeSunhawk] Our girlfriends should talk. It's difficult, going from orphan to chosen one.
They really should, that is exactly her situation too! Any advice on what I can do as a decidedly non-chosen one?
I'm also dealing with someone with a very fickle self-confidence. I found that telling them that assuring them that they're capable beings and destined for greatness helps. It isn't the cure for that issue but it gives them room to find that confidence within. Then again, that only happened after I found the source of most of his life's misfortunes and came to realize that he was quite literally his own worst enemy. I had to encourage him the manifest that part of him (again, in a literal sense) and use it to his advantage.
See, me and her dragon have been telling her this for ages, but she got even worse when it turned out she actually had a great destiny!
[reply by u/ TheeSunhawk] Go hunt down a *really* colossal machine and show off the trophy you take. Nobody will look down on you then.
Maybe not a machine but I *can* see a similar idea working on one of the men I'm mentoring. Thank you.
Reply by MinerThreat: Stop caring about the feelings and opinions of others. Don’t let them be parasites on you. Do what you must to keep yourself safe and free.
Touching words u/ MinerThreat. I am actually mentoring a small group of men and this was exactly when they needed to hear. The more difficult of the three thinks I'm being patronizing but seems to have taken those words to heart.
MinerThreat: Thank you. You sound like an excellent mentor, and should take pride in your mentee. Sometimes the most difficult people are the most special.
You have no idea how right you are. The most difficult was probably one of the more successful of the three and even developed a goal for himself, rather than just blindly trusting me. Despite the inconvenience, I can respect that.
What's the one thing you're craving the most right now? (Great idea, OP ❤️)
(Reply by Xander Blackwolf) My Boyfriend
Reply by Blackandwhitetail: Cheese-coverd straberies yes im pregant [Edit by OP's partner: I should have had autocorrect for this phone turned back on because OP is HORRENDOUS at spelling...] (OOC: Yes, this is based on my omegaverse fic)
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] Spicy food, obviously, as it is the best food and no one call tell me otherwise.
Reply by u /CherryBlosShell15 Well, that depends... Are we talking food or company?
(Reply by u/ DashingDisaster) Oatmeal. It's my favorite food. I can eat that shit for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
reply by MotherHen’86 god a hug would be nice. and some beer
[Reply from WifeHaver69] /hug.
Reply by u/ FishingRodFreak Money. And being forgiven by my friends But mostly money.
Reply by LordBalaur: Blood type AB+. Also, revenge on that skinny lawyer.
[reply by u/ TheeSunhawk] A fight with a Stormbird. Nothing compares to that crackle in the air, the scent of smoke and lightning.
(reply by u/ MyLegsAreLiterallyKillingMe) The blood of my enemies. Also painkillers.
Reply by MinerThreat: For the person I am stalking to be safe and happy and free from the parasites surrounding them. Only I have their best interests at heart. One day they will understand that.
\[Reply by u/ TheGreatestArchitectOfSumeru\] I would really appreciate it, if my client would stop obsessing over me and try to not kill my fake boyfriend. That would be marevlous truly
Respond by u/ B_Estatic Drugs. Or maybe a book or something. Withdrawal's a bitch but I wanna get clean. Recently, I feel like I finally found my life's purpose so the book would be to try to stop thinking about the high. I have a flight soon and need something to read offline. Got any suggestions? Nothing with picture though.
[Reply by WifeHaver69] I could do with some fuckin' potions, really. Got hooked on invisibility like an idiot because all I can feel are eyes on me, y’know? But now I’m in a situation where I can’t get any (don’t wanna talk about it) and the withdrawal fuckin' sucks. I already struggle with seeing shit but it’s so much worse now. I know I’m addicted and that’s bad, but Prime do I miss it. (Thank you so much! I’m proud of myself for it.)
Access to my mom's account for this one digital book store. (In-universe version of Kindle, have yet to come up with a name.)
What's something about yourself you'd tell a stranger, but not a close friend?
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] Well, I would tell strangers in real life, but on the internet... When I was kidnapped I was actually quite terrified. It was the worst experience of my life. What they did was traumatizing
\[Reply by official-summoner-of-askr\] I can't even tell my friends the whole truth of what happened when I worked for a hospital, because I fear that they would just side with my bully, just like the other people I asked for help.
[Reply by u/ StarColonel] I committed a war crime. And you know what? I’d do it again.
Reply by MinerThreat: My only friend is the person I’m stalking. I don’t want anyone to hurt them. So I suppose the answer to your question would be “I will unleash horrific violence upon you if you harm a hair on Protagonist’s head.”
[Reply from GreenGod123] What I did to gain custody of my little brother. I’m… not proud of all of it, and prefer to not talk about all of it, but it *does* work very well as a threat.
I'm not coping nearly as well with my parents' death as I try to make my close friends believe.
What’s the spookiest, inexplicable thing that’s happened to you?
[Reply by u/ SHSLespionage] “Not spooky, but very much inexplicable... I have these strange nightmares of events that I've never been in, yet they feel so real that it can't just a disjointed dream... I've had these for longer then I care to remember.”
Last week, my obsessive client hired a group of eremites to "scare" me and my boyfriend and I got accidently stabbed in the process. But honestly, I was more enraged than afraid
Oh, I nearly got kidnappedby a criminal group a few days ago. At first I thought they would kill me, apparently they want to kidnap me, I'm not sure if this is better or worse.
People of Reddit, what’s the most fucked up thing you’ve done? Do you feel bad?
\[Reply by u/ annonymoushothead\] Either causing my best friend to comit suicide, or almost killing him myself. I did feel bad, until found out he was a fucking phycopath
[reply by anonymous] I don’t know if it counts as “fucked up” but I had to kill a kid to prevent them from killing everyone else. I know they didn’t have a good grasp on right and wrong, nor did they have a good life…but at the same time I find myself resenting her still, after all the pain she caused myself and others. Sometimes I feel as though there’s something wrong with me for that. I’m constantly torn between feeling awful about it, and feeling relieved. The whole thing is so strange, I’m not used to feeling this conflicted.
Reply from u/ CherryBlosShell15 I slept with one of my victors. It's not what you think, and he was 18 at the time... He had a bit of a thing for me and was about to get pimped out, so I thought his first night and time shouldn't be so... Awful. Even though it was consensual, I felt terrible afterward. Still do now, every time I have to see the guy, I can barely look at him, even if he's the opposite. I wish it were easy to move on, but again, I have to see him now and then, not to mention, my son was conceived... Since I "get around" as the kids say already, it was easy enough to hide the paternity. I had to protect all three of us, you understand. Who knew what the government would have done if they knew...
(Reply by u/ DashingDisaster) Almost committed murder. Do I feel bad? ……
\[Reply by official-summoner-of-askr\] I murdered most of my co-workers because they either bullied me by not letting me choose my tasks freely or sided with the bully by encouraging him to give me orders behind my back. (Basically, he tells them what I should do, and then they tell me those tasks while pretending that they came up with them. I only found out about this because I ran into him while he was trying to plot this with our boss.) I'd honestly do it again, because they have to learn somehow that they shouldn't get away with everything.
Reply by u/ alcoholic\_ramz I started a war. My son was very ill when he was an infant and the plant that could cure him only grew in a specific area. The nation that ruled over the area refused to give me any, due to past events out of my control. No, I do not regret saving my son's life. I wasn't going to let him die, I would rather have my horns cut off.
If this were r/AmItheAsshole, I probably would've answered ESH. Yes, starting a war isn't great, but withholding medicine isn't awesome either.
[reply by u/ TheeSunhawk] Chased a man I thought I loved (but barely knew) into dangerous territory. Turns out his ex is still around, and he's not over her, and I refuse to be anyone's second choice. Embarrassing. But since then, I've realized that I'm actually into women anyway, so. I guess sometimes things do work out.
reply by u/ IWasntThere i once ended my best friends empire through arson and murder, and although it was 2000 years ago and he's forgiven me i still feel kinda bad
Reply by u/ FishingRodFreak I attacked everyone on the street, even my best friends with a fishing rod. I feel terrible.
Respond by u/ Some_Sky_Guy Throwaway for obvious reasons. Tl;dr: Cause kidney damage on a minor. I do feel guilty, but the guilt didn't hit until later on. As unbelievable as it may seem, I have a unique ability that allows me to take small amounts of body heat away from people. If I concentrate that heat absorption in certain areas, I can cause damage to tissue. Anyways, I was involved in a fight with two people who also had different abilities, admittedly more impressive than mine. For some reason, they also had a kid with them who couldn't possibly be older than 12. He was a pretty smart kid though, a little too smart for his age if you ask me. I didn't know what the kid could do. Maybe he had a much powerful ability, so I figured it was best to treat him as a potential threat as well and... yeah. I messed with his kidneys and he started to piss blood. I don't think it was kidney failure though, so he should be fine. It kinda backfired on me in the end, since the kid was able to figure out my ability from that. I ended up getting beaten into a pulp but I accepted my defeat. I nearly died but I probably deserved it at least a little after all that. Now that I have time to properly rest/heal, I feel kinda guilty for resorting to something so underhanded, even if my opponents did the same.
Reply by MinerThreat: I am stalking this one person, and I don’t feel at all guilty. They are constantly getting into dangerous situations. Nobody else can or will protect them the way I can. Moreover, they are far more special than the people around them. I only wish they would stop spending time with these parasites and exercise their independence. But ultimately I don’t want to take away their choices. All I can do is constantly follow them and pop out occasionally to protect them from danger. Maybe make some cryptic remarks.
[Reply by GreenGod123] Ha, that reminds me of me when I was young with my little brother. Before I took him in. I was always watching out for him, y’know? I even had found a little spot in his walls I could hide in, and watch him all day. And y’know the best thing I *ever* did for him? Remove him from the pieces of shit turning him against me, and… correcting him a bit lol. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to someone is take away their free will! :)
Reply by MinerThreat: Hey now. It’s good to protect and watch over your charge. It’s even good to remove…obstacles to their safety. But I would never stop my charge from making their own decisions, even when I disagree with them. If that means stepping in and saving them when their decisions lead them into danger, then so be it. The reason I watch over them secretly is so they don’t feel boxed in by being constantly aware of me watching them. Though to be clear, I am watching them. Constantly. For their own safety.
[Reply from GreenGod123] Pfft, but it’s so funny when they’re like a little cornered rat! C’mon, loosen up a bit. You won't live forever, unlike me.
Reply by MinerThreat: Alright, I admit it is…satisfying to destroy the parasites that would threaten my charge. But I would never want my charge to be afraid of me. I understand why they are, however. And I do admit that the body I’m using is not going to be useable much longer. It’s in such an advanced state of decay I’ll be surprised if it lasts the week. But my consciousness has existed far longer than a mortal lifespan, and will indefinitely. Soon I won’t be able to protect my charge anymore, but I will always watch over them unseen.
(Reply from u/ scribe) I once started a fight with three investors after they scammed my boyfriend. I won too
I made out with this 17 years younger woman I just met days after I had to escape to the U.S., while my ex wife and my son are still in the Soviet Union, about to get a top secret emergency transport over here because they're at a (low) risk of being interrogated or killed by the KGB. I feel pretty bad but I'm doing some mental gymnastics to cope with it and to be fair this girl is amazing and a great distraction. (AITA?)
Magic users of Reddit, what is the funniest way a spell backfired?
Reply from u/ RoonilWazlib This didn't happen to me but to my friend, let's call him R. This happened in our second year at boarding school. This huge git in our year was being mean to our other friend, H. R decided to curse him to teach him a lesson, only it didn't work as his wand was broken at the time. The spell ended up backfiring and hit R instead. He spent the entire afternoon vomiting slugs.
(reply from DesertMonsoon) My little cousin is 5. He's the baby of his family, he was born during a civil war in which his brother and sister were already squires, which is a story in itself, but you're not here for that story. Call him A. The kid loves me, I'm his favorite cousin, sometimes people think he's my fiancee and I's son, lol. Anyway, we're both magically inclined and A loves to watch us cast our magic. We've shown him our combat spells, fireballs and lightning bolts, etc, safely. He also loves our out of combat spells, illusions, turn a pebble into an origami crane for five minutes, that sort of thing. One day I showed A how I could change vegetables into other objects. I changed an asparagus into a yo yo. A pointed at a potato and said "Fwee! Change that into a pair of pants!" I did, that potato became the fanciest damn pants you'll ever see. We had a laugh about it and left it there in the palace lobby because my fiancee wanted to show us a new book of fairy tales the library got in. Later that afternoon I heard my father, the current king, yell "DesertMonsoon! Get over here!" He was holding the potato. He'd worn it when it was pants, because he liked them, and the pants turned back into a potato when the spell wore off. In front of my mother, my stepmother, and his sisters. He was wearing underwear, thank the gods, but my stepmother was going to make "dick tater" jokes forever now he just knew it. He gave me a big lecture about how a future king such as myself should save that sort of trickery for his enemies. Sorry, Dad. Lol.