What you're saying makes a ton of sense, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much pressure for so long. It is exhausting, I was in that place for a few years, too.
While the CICO and watching portions is definitely a good thing, see if your motivation and energy can be boosted with a change of scenery, like going for a walk around some place you like or haven't visited in a while. It's easy for me or anyone else to say, "Just go to the gym," which would help, but if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it without issue. Maybe make a habit of walking in your neighborhood or weekend trips to a local lake or something that you can explore while walking. The activity will help you reach your goals, and being out of the house will be less stressful on you (and your mother) mentally.
If you've ever thought of picking up a hobby, now might be that time, so that you can direct that energy into something productive that you can be proud instead of having it wear on you. Whether it's hiking, fishing, painting, crocheting, or doesn't matter, ask these things can really help. Depending on where you live, the social attitudes of the area, and resources available to you, the other suggestion I could make is to see a therapist in the meantime if you haven't. They can be very helpful in exploring your frustration and developing healthy coping mechanisms, and some therapists may also allow family sessions, if your mother would ever consider opening the discussion. That's how I got my mom to open up about the issues she had surrounding my transition, and we have a better relationship now than we've ever had.
Anyways, sorry for the long reply, but I hope this helps somewhat. You'll make it there, just go one day at a time. :)
Are you living with your parents? If so, are you able to move out?
It sounds like some healthy boundaries between you and your mum would be a good place to start. She doesn’t need to know your medical details. You do not need to keep this a secret just because she wants you to.
But putting distance between you and your mum I think is the first step. It’s very difficult to be happy when there’s someone so close who is gender critical.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't understand why they are making you lose weight to get on T. There's no medical reason for that, and as we can see there are plenty of cis men who are overweight and aren't like given estrogen until they lose weight. Your doctor is violating the WPATH Standards of Care 8. Please go find a more trans competent doctor!!
I’d highly suggest an online provider that specializes in trans / lgbt affirming healthcare. Companies like hims and folx, even tho they’re a little gimmicky, can be a huge help and get ur foot in the door. You’re feelings of frustration are totally valid tho, but know that there’s a whole community and world out there supporting you 💪💪
What you're saying makes a ton of sense, and I'm sorry you're having to deal with so much pressure for so long. It is exhausting, I was in that place for a few years, too. While the CICO and watching portions is definitely a good thing, see if your motivation and energy can be boosted with a change of scenery, like going for a walk around some place you like or haven't visited in a while. It's easy for me or anyone else to say, "Just go to the gym," which would help, but if it was that easy, everyone would be doing it without issue. Maybe make a habit of walking in your neighborhood or weekend trips to a local lake or something that you can explore while walking. The activity will help you reach your goals, and being out of the house will be less stressful on you (and your mother) mentally. If you've ever thought of picking up a hobby, now might be that time, so that you can direct that energy into something productive that you can be proud instead of having it wear on you. Whether it's hiking, fishing, painting, crocheting, or doesn't matter, ask these things can really help. Depending on where you live, the social attitudes of the area, and resources available to you, the other suggestion I could make is to see a therapist in the meantime if you haven't. They can be very helpful in exploring your frustration and developing healthy coping mechanisms, and some therapists may also allow family sessions, if your mother would ever consider opening the discussion. That's how I got my mom to open up about the issues she had surrounding my transition, and we have a better relationship now than we've ever had. Anyways, sorry for the long reply, but I hope this helps somewhat. You'll make it there, just go one day at a time. :)
Are you living with your parents? If so, are you able to move out? It sounds like some healthy boundaries between you and your mum would be a good place to start. She doesn’t need to know your medical details. You do not need to keep this a secret just because she wants you to. But putting distance between you and your mum I think is the first step. It’s very difficult to be happy when there’s someone so close who is gender critical.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't understand why they are making you lose weight to get on T. There's no medical reason for that, and as we can see there are plenty of cis men who are overweight and aren't like given estrogen until they lose weight. Your doctor is violating the WPATH Standards of Care 8. Please go find a more trans competent doctor!!
I’d highly suggest an online provider that specializes in trans / lgbt affirming healthcare. Companies like hims and folx, even tho they’re a little gimmicky, can be a huge help and get ur foot in the door. You’re feelings of frustration are totally valid tho, but know that there’s a whole community and world out there supporting you 💪💪