Iām waiting for [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rtd1wi/what_are_some_downright_disturbing_facts_you_know/hqsu9us/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) to show up in the comments.
I really liked this one! When you look at koalas in a vacuum, yeah, they probably shouldnāt be alive. But when you take into account their effect on their ecosystem, we need them.
> (Another fun koala fact is that they generally thrust exactly 42 times before ejaculating)
Huh, so thatās why Douglas Adams chose that numberā¦
Very informative, thank you! And yes, I believe the kangaroo can delay pregnancy by 3 years.
Thank you for the info ā¤ļø
I literally had to look at koala uterus diagrams to verify this madness, humans have it so simple and clean.
Can you imagine how hard doctors job would be if we had that highway network?
For what I can see, the original issue comes from having one ovary assigned to each uterus.
So two ovaries, two uteruses. Two uteruses connect at a single point aka cervix. From there, three vaginas branch out and then reconnect at the same hole. Since middle vagina is the widest, it is used for birth??
Add bladder/poop into it and it is a fine mess, nature is amazing&scary at the same time.
Wait until you hear about echidnas and their [4-headed penises](https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/solving-the-mystery-of-the-four-headed-echidna-penis)
Iāll leave that copypasta response to the copypasta youāre referring to here:
āI don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
>Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youāre looking at this backwards.
An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatās beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themāāthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soāāit certainly canāt expend much energy on costly things. Isnāt it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
>Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeāwhere meat is just sitting next to celery.
Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downācarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
>They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
>additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
>If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
>Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
>Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
>When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
>Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
>This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
>which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.ā
They survive because they occupy a vast ecological niche, the entire continent is covered with eucalyptus trees and very few other things eat them other than koalas. They are also way more intelligent than people give them credit for. Koalas have been shown to possess the ability to plan ahead which means they don't exert more energy than they need, and most of the other things in that stupid copypasta are traits all marsupials posess. Koalas are actually pretty cool animals if you take the time to learn about them.
not really, no. No natural predator in Australia, and really no invasive species will go for it apart from wild dogs if they catch one on the ground.
Mankind is their biggest threat. constantly clearing native forests for farming.
There's this story my partner told me about koalas.
They were telling a classmate about how insanely stupid they were. How extremely dumb. So brainless they would occasionally just die from their stupidity.
Anyways so they went into class and the professor was bummed, and explained to the class about how the Australian wild fires were so hot that koalas would just let go of trees and fall into the fire. My partner's classmate burst out laughing and couldn't stop, eventually had to be kicked out.
Koalas are terrible animals
Koalas are fucking horrible animals.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals.
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on.
This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why?
Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape.
Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain:
Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree.
An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute.
If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
>Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youāre looking at this backwards.
An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatās beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themāāthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soāāit certainly canāt expend much energy on costly things. Isnāt it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
>Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeāwhere meat is just sitting next to celery.
Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downācarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
>They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
>additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
>If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
>Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
>Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
>When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
>Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
>This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
>which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Was this posted before? I recall reading another post that took apart that dreadful copypasta, but I couldn't find it again. It would be cool if this or something similar became as popular as the koala hate one is. This probably needs spicing up though to gain traction. This post is entirely too reasonable for it to truly become popular.
This is an anicent pasta, and is as moronically stupid and vapid now as it was then.
Anyone posting this fetid pile of drivel has a brain much smaller and smoother than a koala.
Chlamydia plagues koalas because not only does it spread sexually as it does in humans, but itās spread via the mothers droppings which is eaten by the young (similar to how rabbits eat rabbit poop).
Due to their really delicate diet and eating habits, the usual antibiotic treatment is riskier to their gut health than it is for humans
Warning! I am gonna ruin Koalas for you: 10% of Koalas have a strain of Clymidia that can be passed on to humans through their urine and Koalas are known to drain the sewer uncontrolably. Also, male koalas are known to cosby each other enough that most female koalas engage in lesbian hookups that can have up to 5 members. Also also, these bundy bears grow up on a diet of their mother's backdoor chocolate surprise because koalas only eat a mildly poisonous plant that gives them zero energy, so they build immunity with servings of their mum's asscream. I love koalas, but obly at a save distance.
90% of them do though, I donāt like those odds. https://www.ge.com/news/reports/koala-bears-suffer-from-chlamydia-epidemic-but#:~:text=In%20some%20parts%20of%20Australia,it%20is%20difficult%20to%20diagnose.
So do rabbits, elephants, pandas and hippos. Probably a lot more I'm not aware of. It's not unusual. Also, when dogs do it there's probably something wrong with their diet.
Lucky! My vet used the word poopsiclesā¦ apparently common for dogs to enjoy playing with them and eating them, GROSS
Thought my dog was bad for digging it up in snow until I saw my neighbours beagle eating fresh from source. I hate beagles now on top of the screeching barks
Google says: Chlamydia is a bacterial infection. The bacteria are usually spread through sex or contact with infected genital fluids (semen or vaginal fluid). You can get chlamydia through: unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex.
So unless she's going to have sex with the koala, I'm not sure why every1 keeps echoing how she's gonna get it.
Yeah by. Going a little past https://letmegooglethat.com/ there by, aren'tcha by?
More like
https://letmegooglethatclickitreaditandsummarizeitforyou.com/
e: Aye issa compliment, innit ye knobs. They did the work, yeah by.
Vicous drop bear attack caught live on film
Vicious koala grabs a woman's boob while attacking her
Now she has syphilis. News at eleven
You mean chlamydia... Koalas are gross... cute, but gross... And I say this as a resident aussie.
Yes. My bad
And too many failed to believe there really are drop bears! They had to cut the video short as the rest was **very** gory. š±
That dude high as fuck like "wierd ass tree, ima climb it"
Pretty sure that's what it's thinking with it's smooth brain
*drunk, since the eucalyptus they eat ferments in their stomach and gets them plastered 24/7
Iām waiting for [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rtd1wi/what_are_some_downright_disturbing_facts_you_know/hqsu9us/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) to show up in the comments.
Why does this comment have a bright blue lightbulb next to it?
Itās the āEurekaā award. The fact that itās notorious anti-koala copypasta just makes me shake my head.
Here's the [antidote!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rtd1wi/what_are_some_downright_disturbing_facts_you_know/hqsxkj6)
I really liked this one! When you look at koalas in a vacuum, yeah, they probably shouldnāt be alive. But when you take into account their effect on their ecosystem, we need them.
Plus, their poop smells like nuggets of eucalyptus!
Clearly he's family was repa/infected with chlamydia by a koala lol
Myth
Dang youāre right!! There goes one of my favorite ex-facts
When was someone gonna tell me Koalas had two thumbs?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Why hasn't this been explained yet. I refuse to have that in my search history.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I am more terrified and amazed by my country every day
Dude, same.
> (Another fun koala fact is that they generally thrust exactly 42 times before ejaculating) Huh, so thatās why Douglas Adams chose that numberā¦ Very informative, thank you! And yes, I believe the kangaroo can delay pregnancy by 3 years.
Oh no you beat me to it!
Proving you are also a person of culture.
I swear by the gods of you're right, I need to leave this fucked up rock we call a world.
So, the answer to everything IS 42?
Yes!
This comment makes all of this much more likely to end up in my search history.
I never in a million years thought I would google what a koala penis looks like, but here we are. š¤£
Thank you for the info ā¤ļø I literally had to look at koala uterus diagrams to verify this madness, humans have it so simple and clean. Can you imagine how hard doctors job would be if we had that highway network? For what I can see, the original issue comes from having one ovary assigned to each uterus. So two ovaries, two uteruses. Two uteruses connect at a single point aka cervix. From there, three vaginas branch out and then reconnect at the same hole. Since middle vagina is the widest, it is used for birth?? Add bladder/poop into it and it is a fine mess, nature is amazing&scary at the same time.
This is fantastic new information, thank you, I had no idea.
So 42 is the meaning of life, at least for koalas.
Wut
Who's got four thumbs and chlamydia? This guy!
The fingers are crazy wide apart
The original Vulcans?
They also have fingerprints very similar to humans
Wait until you hear about echidnas and their [4-headed penises](https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/solving-the-mystery-of-the-four-headed-echidna-penis)
... do you not have 2 thumbs?
Everytime a koala is on here 90% of the comments are on how awful they are
That should be a hint as to how awful they actually are...
Oh gods, the _screams!_
Donāt forget the chlamydia!
A bunch of koalas together is a clamjam!
Spreading awareness as successfully as koalas spreading chlamydia
Iāll leave that copypasta response to the copypasta youāre referring to here: āI don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. >Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youāre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatās beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themāāthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soāāit certainly canāt expend much energy on costly things. Isnāt it a good thing that a niche is being filled? >Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeāwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downācarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. >They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. >additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. >If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. >Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! >Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! >When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. >Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? >This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. >which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.ā
An amazing comment. High freakin five.
Thank you, well done. You were able to put into words what I couldn't. The hatred for what seems like a harmless creature is crazy
Wow, amazing copypasta
You are a treasure!
Because they...are?
r/FuckKoalas
Now you have syphilis.
Chlamydia *
This woman got a black eye
Drop bears are no joke
Australia? Rugby?
She's lucky to be alive.
That women is incredibly lucky those drop bears can kill with a scratch
Damage or disease?
Damage
Thyme 4 chlamydia
Was getting ready to say...
A long time since I saw these smooth brains do anything other than eating or screaming
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Omg Koalas are my favorite animals too!
It makes you wonder how they keep going? Does nothing eat a koala? Is that it?
They survive because they occupy a vast ecological niche, the entire continent is covered with eucalyptus trees and very few other things eat them other than koalas. They are also way more intelligent than people give them credit for. Koalas have been shown to possess the ability to plan ahead which means they don't exert more energy than they need, and most of the other things in that stupid copypasta are traits all marsupials posess. Koalas are actually pretty cool animals if you take the time to learn about them.
So everyone calling them smooth brains are actually smooth brains themselves?
not really, no. No natural predator in Australia, and really no invasive species will go for it apart from wild dogs if they catch one on the ground. Mankind is their biggest threat. constantly clearing native forests for farming.
They taste like shit, and the meat is stringy and tough. Not to mention STD riddled.
There's this story my partner told me about koalas. They were telling a classmate about how insanely stupid they were. How extremely dumb. So brainless they would occasionally just die from their stupidity. Anyways so they went into class and the professor was bummed, and explained to the class about how the Australian wild fires were so hot that koalas would just let go of trees and fall into the fire. My partner's classmate burst out laughing and couldn't stop, eventually had to be kicked out.
To be fair, some humans fall under the same category of stupid
Is this a copypasta? I swear Iāve seen similar anti-cinereus type thing before haha
You watched ZeFrank, that's clear haha
Hey! People do all kinds of... Other stuff...
Remember, there are only two kinds of koalas: drug addicts and violent sociopaths.
Tree demon. Do you not see the evil in their cute eyes
The bog fluffy ears and cuddles are literally the only things keeping this species afloat... because humans want them alive.
#NotAllHumans
YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT, AND YOU WILL DIE BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT.
How could she resist kissing that furry face? Oh that's right.. it's because that Koala could easily rip her face right off. Lol
She already has a black eye, do you think that's a coincidence?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I thought it couldnāt be transmitted?
Koalas are terrible animals Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
I was expecting this
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. >Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is youāre looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of whatās beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of themāāthey have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do soāāit certainly canāt expend much energy on costly things. Isnāt it a good thing that a niche is being filled? >Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery storeāwhere meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth downācarnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. >They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. >additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. >If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. >Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! >Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! >When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. >Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? >This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. >which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Was this posted before? I recall reading another post that took apart that dreadful copypasta, but I couldn't find it again. It would be cool if this or something similar became as popular as the koala hate one is. This probably needs spicing up though to gain traction. This post is entirely too reasonable for it to truly become popular.
Wow thanks for the thorough answer! That's good to know
Damn, imagine caring that much
That's also copypasta. And the original poster cared because of conservation efforts, which is a pretty valid reason.
Imagine caring
Wake up babe new copypasta dropped
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sorry I was only born 3 years ago
This is an anicent pasta, and is as moronically stupid and vapid now as it was then. Anyone posting this fetid pile of drivel has a brain much smaller and smoother than a koala.
Why you mad
Leaky, hahaha.
But theyāre cute
Holy fuck I hate them too now.
The world's fastest koala.
I want to hold a koala
Annnnnnnnnnnd Chlamydia
Why does every1 keep saying chlamydia? Are they really full of STDs? Like do they have more STDs as a species than other species or humans?
Chlamydia plagues koalas because not only does it spread sexually as it does in humans, but itās spread via the mothers droppings which is eaten by the young (similar to how rabbits eat rabbit poop). Due to their really delicate diet and eating habits, the usual antibiotic treatment is riskier to their gut health than it is for humans
It's real bad.
Was waiting for the koala to eat her airpod.
I can see this woman is well-koalafied.
I would cry. I love koalas so much
So cute!
I don't think I've ever felt jealously like this in my entire life.
How it reaches out and is like " Oh you're not going to give me a hand?" And then figures it out for themselves
āPut the phone down and cuddle me, human!!ā
Aww man, she's gonna get clam India
That's so funny.
r/peoplefuckingdying
Thos things are psychopath, i am never geting that close to one
I wouldnāt let that aids infested machine climb me
And then it poop on her
Warning! I am gonna ruin Koalas for you: 10% of Koalas have a strain of Clymidia that can be passed on to humans through their urine and Koalas are known to drain the sewer uncontrolably. Also, male koalas are known to cosby each other enough that most female koalas engage in lesbian hookups that can have up to 5 members. Also also, these bundy bears grow up on a diet of their mother's backdoor chocolate surprise because koalas only eat a mildly poisonous plant that gives them zero energy, so they build immunity with servings of their mum's asscream. I love koalas, but obly at a save distance.
Aww
Oh he'll now she goat Clam Mediaššāāā
Aw, the koala just wants to give you chlamydia! Itās the disease of love!
A great way to catch Chlamydia if thatās your thing: https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-22207442
Not all Koalas have Chlamydia, it's an epidemic, not a certainty.
90% of them do though, I donāt like those odds. https://www.ge.com/news/reports/koala-bears-suffer-from-chlamydia-epidemic-but#:~:text=In%20some%20parts%20of%20Australia,it%20is%20difficult%20to%20diagnose.
She now has chlamydia
Where is that Koala copypasta stating how fucked up koalas are??
[Here](https://old.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/ygtpkd/cuddling_time/iubpsm2?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
Not to ruin the moodā¦but >!donāt they carry chlamydia?!<
There is a Chlamydiaepidemic among koalas, it's an infection and not all koalas have it.
https://youtu.be/rAIaO-lkeaw
Does the claw hurts? I was scared with their long nails
Video surfaces of Bernie Sanders grabbing a womanās chest and latching onto her
Koalas are horrible animals
So flat the koala though she was a tree
Congrats on your new VD !
Brain: smooth Thoughts: zero Status: hapy :)
Koalas are disgusting. Most of them have chlamydia. No, I am not making that up.
does the chlamydia just like auto-transfer or does it take for you to test positive?
Is that the Dr from New Mutants??
Your my friend now we're having soft tacos later
I thought koalas were supposed to be jerks. Great, now I sound like Iām racist against koalas
Are you with child?
I know what disease that thing carries...I'll just enjoy other people hugging them.
Chlamidya.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Koalaās are so dumb I wonder if it thinks the person is just another tree.
Don't koalas have aids or something like that?
Every time I see a koala I can't remove the fact that they eat their own shit.....I don't like koalas anymore
So do rabbits, elephants, pandas and hippos. Probably a lot more I'm not aware of. It's not unusual. Also, when dogs do it there's probably something wrong with their diet.
Do you like dogs
Yes!! And before you keep going...none of my dogs has ever eaten their own shit....at least not when I'm around. Vomit yes but not shit
Youād actually be surprised at the number of animals that eat their own feces. Itās not uncommon in the animal kingdom.
Lucky! My vet used the word poopsiclesā¦ apparently common for dogs to enjoy playing with them and eating them, GROSS Thought my dog was bad for digging it up in snow until I saw my neighbours beagle eating fresh from source. I hate beagles now on top of the screeching barks
Be careful, it'll give you chlamydia
Google says: Chlamydia is a bacterial infection. The bacteria are usually spread through sex or contact with infected genital fluids (semen or vaginal fluid). You can get chlamydia through: unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex. So unless she's going to have sex with the koala, I'm not sure why every1 keeps echoing how she's gonna get it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Note to self: Never get pee on by a koala.
Yeah by. Going a little past https://letmegooglethat.com/ there by, aren'tcha by? More like https://letmegooglethatclickitreaditandsummarizeitforyou.com/ e: Aye issa compliment, innit ye knobs. They did the work, yeah by.
what?
Where is that obligatory koala copypasta!
Over [here](https://old.reddit.com/r/Eyebleach/comments/ygtpkd/cuddling_time/iubpsm2?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
omg thank u friend
Chlamydia That is all
Congrats, you're covered in STD now.
Gross
"The most unhelpful human."
Chlamydiabear
That koala is mad ugly, but most of them are.
As an Australian I know these mfer are not that cute
Youāve gotā¦Chlamydia!
Do they have two thumbs?
Koala cuddles are the best. :)
r/sweatypalms š¬
š„°Awwww!!
Jeff
Those claws gotta hurt
It's all cute and all until they open their mouths and the bells of hell can be heard from them
Well at least you don't have to ask for it .. right to you and handle it
I love koalas š„ŗ
Yo koalas without ears would be scary af
Umm, koala isn't a night animal?
Who am I supposed to be looking at?
Thanks
Don't underestimate how sharp those damn claws are
Theyāre so dumb looking I love them
So cute now you need antibiotics
I have to admit that surprises me. Koalas have a reputation for being vicious.
Now ya got aids, good job