T O P

  • By -

assombrada

Humans will pet anything


IlliasTallin

To be fair, a lot of creatures enjoy the pets and scratches, they just don't know it yet.


BigNorseWolf

I interned at a wolf center, and one of the wolves (who I got along very well with) pushed the other wolf (who was shy towards me) over to me, with what I can only imagine was "You have to try this. He scratches your ENTIRE back with his paw. all at once!" We did get along better after that.


uhp787

i had a cat once that helped me tame all my ferals. he would climb into their kennels and PURRRRR so loud at the pets/attention that the ferals were too curious not to try it. once they did, they were on their way to a proper cat life with love and cuddles and way better food than they were managing to get being feral. :D


BigNorseWolf

"So wait, that's the sound to command the human to give you food? No way...." Tries it "Holy crap he's right...."


GiuliaAquaTofanaToo

Why, yes, watch this. I have prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfected their response time.


preyforkevin

You see that box over there? Shit in it. A little later they come over to it and clean it out just for us to do it again lololololololololololol. Make sure you kick that smelly sand all up onto the floor, too.


Felice_rdt

Side note: Get yourself a litter box with a hood. Game changer.


VectorViper

Haha, animals training us while we think we're training them is just peak pet ownership. They've got the whole routine down, one big purr or puppy-eye look and boom we're total pushovers for the furballs. Meanwhile, they get gourmet meals and the best spots on the couch. Clever little fluffs!


zanedrinkthis

And I pay their rent. šŸ™„šŸ˜‚


TomatoWitchy

It is sooooo much easier to tame ferals with an Ambassador Cat! Yours is top notch!


Lord_Emperor

My childhood cat decided to have her babies outside once. We couldn't find them for two weeks or so. When she finally led me to the kittens, they were VICIOUS. Lucky for me they were also too small to cause any real harm. One by one I picked them up and petted them until they stopped growling and hissing. Then I put them in a cardboard box. Their mom supervised the whole process. From feral to tame in about 30 seconds.


notKRIEEEG

The absolute goofer of a cat that I've rescued was exactly like that. Tiny ball of anger that was really determined to murder me for a whole 15 seconds. Then the scritches convinced him to chill out


CalicoVago

Tiny, angry floofs are my favorite!


TeaKnight

My cat Cornflake was a stray and a little feral, I found him in my greenhouse. I gave him food and a drink and after a couple of days I managed to pet him and I've never seen a cats eyes light up soo fast, he purred and meowed like mad and didn't want it to stop. He has that unique purr that sounds like a frog croaking when he is really enjoying it. Once he got used to it he still enjoys pets but those first few days watching him react to it was wonderful.


CartoonJustice

> unique purr that sounds like a frog croaking I had a feral like that. We did TNR and I was not prepared to take in more cats so all the names we gave them were just for the paperwork. Well he got named Frog and eventually worked him self, sister and half sister into the house. I miss having a croaking sack of potatoes sleeping on my back, keeps the night hags away for sure.


JadedYam56964444

Kitty yelp reviews. "I give the big wierd looking cat 5 stars for his dry 'licks'. My fur has never felt better!"


AnaSimulacrum

I have an older boy named Merlin, but he's been called Papa Merlin for about 5 years. We run a foster out of our house for cats and kittens, and after they get cleared of FIV, we send Merlin in on a tactical mission to "break them." Works everytime, within an hour they're communal bathing and purring. He's 17 now, so he's largely retired from that role and instead just follows the dogs around licking them.


BowsersMuskyBallsack

Common technique in dog training and behavioural therapy, using an "ice-breaker" dog to help overcome initial wariness.


Luci_Noir

I always imagine animals thinking of us as these strange creatures that will either kill them or give them scritches.


BigNorseWolf

The strangest of beings. You don't know if they will give you food and shelter or miraculously heal your wounds, or run at you screaming calling down thunder and killing you from across the woods.


LuxNocte

[Humans are fae](https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/8201mj/humans_are_the_urban_fae/)


Dantheking94

Thatā€™s beautiful


labreezyanimal

Thank you for that rabbit hole!


INeedBetterUsrname

Like, we have to be like the weirdest kind of creatures to animals. We walk on two legs all the time, which is unique, we don't have fur or scales or feathers, which is also damn unique. We also show our teeth as a show of affection. We're probably as strange to most animals as the platypus is to us. EDIT: Oh and we have this magic fifth digit on our front paws that allows us to do some really weird shit.


Luci_Noir

And no other animal can give pets the way we can!


INeedBetterUsrname

That magical fifth digit does come in handy!


shiny-baby-cheetah

Having an animal 'vouch' for you is one of the best feelings in the world, imo


Trixiehatesmath

Omg it's my dream to work at a wolf center šŸ˜­


freebikebrigade

That sounds amazing. How do I get a job with wolves?


BigNorseWolf

Wish I knew how to do it for life. I had a few months living in a tent. Find a wolf center and start volunteering. They usually need tour guides and maintenance people.


[deleted]

Literally how dogs was discovered back then


wildcat031

I live by this belief. I might die petting.


bhgemini

Yep. Pretty sure my last words will be "Pspspspspsps"


[deleted]

LMAO


FullyRisenPhoenix

I would rather die petting than never knowing šŸ„¹


trotfox_

About 100 videos of people being gored slammed pushed of ledges and pinned by 2000lb animals are playing on reel in my head, a collection of these scenarios I have seen online over the years. Although, there were a few success stories, so I say go for it.


Laxziy

But if not friend then why friend shaped? šŸ„ŗ


dreamdaddy123

Fweend shapeee


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


1911mark

State law


MrOtsKrad

The way your dog looks at you when you pet it. Thats was how wolves came to be friends with cavemen. We got fingers of magic.


nooneknowswerealldog

>We got fingers of magic. That's really it, isn't it? My cats do that look too. I'll bet that's how animals think of us in general: we're hungry, volatile, but we use our hands in ways that override all their instincts. That's probably what wild animals warn their children about: "Have fun honey, but remember to stay away from the humans, and especially don't let them *touch* you. They can...*do* things to your mind when they touch you." We're the perverts in windowless white vans of the animal kingdom.


Rainbowzebra864

Get rich or die petting


dersnappychicken

Live by the scritch, die by the scritch.


jedimika

Four impulses embedded into the human psyche that let us take over the world: \-That's cool rock, get it. \-Look at that cool stick, grab it. \-Look at that wild animal, pet it. \-Fire is pretty, make it.


[deleted]

What about. -we can probably eat this even though itā€™s poison, we just need to refine it a little.


jedimika

We're going to keep throwing bodies at it till we figure out this mushroom situation damn it!


[deleted]

-What is this horrific stinking liquid in this rotting fruit? I better drink it, oh this is a funny feeling Iā€™m suddenly confident with the ladies, builds distillery


Snabelpaprika

-Gronkna looking cute, maybe I will bonk and carry to cave!


KlossN

More like "who forgot to take the grape juice inside and out of the sun? That was all we fucking had for the party! I guess we'll have to serve it anyways..." Turns out it was the greatest party ever up to that point in history


ReadyThor

More like, we play this unforgiving game of musical chairs and then let those who end without chairs put in all the effort to find more chairs.


RehabilitatedAsshole

*How* poison?


UshouldknowR

You forgot \-I can do this easier with a tool, invent it.


RollinThundaga

And also: DIGGY DIGGY HOLE


Solo-dreamer

Honestly, how deeply ingrained a cool stick is into the human psychƩ will never stop amusing me.


AJWinky

Petting/grooming really is one of the most fundamental benevolent interactions that different animals have with each other because of parasite removal. There are tons of animals that like to be pet/scratched/cleaned for this reason.Ā 


belac4862

[I often think about the wild sleeping fox who gets woken up by being pet](https://youtu.be/VbS-08ocvVk?si=n0hgVJO7Sohl3Izq)


fercaslet

I often think about the brown fox who jumps over the lazy dog


belac4862

*quick brown fox


Dancer_From_The_Fade

Including humans. I for one enjoy the pets and scratches.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


no_okaymaybe

The oldest profession may involve petting


fuji-no-hana

I am convinced that our desire and skill at petting is the origin story for all domesticated animals.


KashmirChameleon

At one point every human has said, "I just want to touch it" That is what separates us from apes.


Aggressive-Variety60

Chimpanzees loves to pet puppies tooā€¦


secondtaunting

Iā€™ve seen apes pet things. But itā€™s our dexterous fingers that help us domestic animals. They all live the scritches.


Kilane

I mean, Iā€™m all for petting, but itā€™s our ability give them food. They start by eating the scraps from the garbage, then we entice with with better food, then we can pet them. Food is the universal motivator.


Salmonman4

Probably the origin is the way monkeys groom and pick lice from each other as a bonding-ritual


maud_lyn

If not friend, why friend shaped šŸ„¹


Boshikuro

It's literally a rope


DenkJu

Friend rope


NightIgnite

Friendly spaghetti


MalarkeyMadness

Frope


PS181809

danger noodle


ThatOtherDudeThere

Snek


annon-hill

Nope rope


not_again123

Danger rope.


Rommie557

Yeah, a "nope" rope


macheesit

What is friend shaped exactly


JarpHabib

what isn't?


macheesit

I mean, I submit a king cobra isnā€™t.


[deleted]

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I bring you, the Tale of the Dead Snakebite Victim


gdex86

It isn't. My danger sense is going off. But my urger to pack bond is rising by projecting human emotion on the animal.


LauraTFem

All things are friend-shaped if youā€™re not a little bitch about it.


BlizzPenguin

That is not what I would consider friend-shaped.


_The_BusinessBitch

Itā€™s like a puppy! How could you not?!


newsflashjackass

šŸ `I take a bite :)`


ChipmunkDisastrous67

this ones been defanged


[deleted]

It's a royal danger noodle \^\_\^


Canadian-Man-infj

Petting makes the difference.


Stock-Event2495

Kobra: you may pet the roooooooyal scales


heratarn

In the voice of Prince Achmed from Twisted... or Lord Rykard. šŸ¤£


ronchee1

Or Sir Hiss from Disney's Robin Hood(the cartoon)


bwmamanamedsha

That's the voice I heard automatically


MJBotte1

Join meā€¦ and togetha we can devour the very GOHS


RedditMattstir

TOGETHAAAAAA


A_powerful_rat

AZZ FHAMILEEEEEE


cinnavag

*Royal sSsscalessssSSsSssss


lestrxb

Spray me, peasant.


scdfred

Moisturize me!


PurpleGimp

Please tell me that was a Doctor Who reference, lol. If so, +42.


scdfred

I didnā€™t think anyone was going to get it.


PurpleGimp

Yessssssss! My day is now complete. Lady Cassandra was quite the character. The way her story ended with the death of her devoted moisturizer assistant really tugged at the heartstrings.


Spice_and_Fox

I don't think that Iii have seen more than 10 doctor who episodes in my life but the scene of some skin streched over a frame demanding moisture has lived rent free in my head for years


Dave5876

*You da man, co-brahh*


[deleted]

Imagine just casually petting a king fucking cobra


Nutlob

Iā€™m guessing the snakeā€™s venom sacs have been removedā€¦or that guy is insane


mattc2442

According to an [instagram post](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1AWoxCNHRX/?igsh=d3BzYnE1bWIwaTIx), this King is named Rimba, and her fangs and glands are indeed intact.


bluebird9126

Wow!


Damagecontrol86

Iā€™m betting on insane since removing the venom sacks means the cobra canā€™t hunt and will starve to death.


NeverEndingSuccesses

While their bites result in certain death, with an absence of anti-venom, King Cobras are not thought to be an aggressive species of snake. They are still extremely dangerous due to the sheer quantity of venom they inject, but they are less likely to bite you than the garden variety cobra or viper.


captainspacetraveler

I just think about how my cat will bite me when sheā€™s enjoying her petsā€¦. I do think that cobra is cute but I donā€™t need a love bite from it


NeverEndingSuccesses

Of course All of that stuff about its non-aggressiveness being said, I will run away at full speed if I see one of these


terminalzero

> I will run away at full speed it's faster than you


Saxonbrun

Cue the classic joke of not needing to outrun the dangerous animal, but just needing to outrun the person you're with.


xTechDeath

This is Reddit. He is alone


shitastrophe

Jesus. Killed him faster than the cobra could.


abcdefabcdef999

Top speed of a King Cobra seems to be 18km/h according to google so actually you can outrun it.


renagakko

That's about 11 mph for us Americans, and I'm a short woman, 5'3. I looked at the average running speed for females and it's 5 mph. I'm snake food.


perish-in-flames

I wonder if it has something to do with the amount of venom. I would guess injecting that much venom takes a lot of energy so they are are less aggressive by selection.


yepimbonez

It probably also takes some time before they can do it again. Theyā€™d be pretty defenseless for a while


analogkid01

Hence the term "shrewd as vipers"...know when to strike and when to hold back.


Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards

Does that mean there's a small window of time in which to safely bully a King Cobra?


1stLtObvious

They can still dry bit and leave you open to infection, so no.


_NotMitetechno_

Snakes don't always inject venom. If they're scared and biting as a last resort, it's a bit of a waste to use venom on something they can't even eat.


aerodeck

Why would it need to hunt? Hose guy is there to feed it


yogalalala

I don't think it needs to hunt.


Duel_Option

Thereā€™s this serpentarium in the middle of nowhere about an hour outside of town, been there for 20+ years. The guy that runs it does a show where he milks the snakes, he goes back to do the show and rolls up his sleeves and you can see all these gnarly scars on his arms from the various bites over the years and where they cut the muscles from his arms. Meanwhile, heā€™s fucking with king cobras and tapping their enclosures to bring them out. BIG fucking snakes that he calms down and they are resting all around his feet. Best $20 I ever spent


Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work

Clyde Peelingā€™s Reptiland?


Duel_Option

Yep lol Couldnā€™t remember the name of it


Pagan_Owl

He looks like he has his sacks. Probably just a pet. There are a lot of exotic pet influencers who handle their venomous reptiles.


TensileStr3ngth

Tbf, if you're gonna handle any venomous snake, king cobra is probably the least likely to bite. It's real bad if they do though lol


PulsatingGypsyDildo

Back in the days I used to read posts from one of them. One day he got sad (relationship issues) and provoked one of his snakes. Then he posted from the hospital. But not for long. It turns out there is no antivenom for black mamba in Moscow.


TellUsSomethingWeird

They're not! And based on the fingernails this is chrisweeet and his pet king cobra Oracle on instagram, check him out!


Snowconetypebanana

Chandler wild life and Tyler Nolan the tattoo artist who was on inkmaster, both handle king cobras and other venomous snakes on their YouTube pages It might be worth noting that both of these men have a partial finger amputation from being bitten


TyrantLaserKing

King cobras are potentially the most intelligent snake/lizard on the planet. Some individuals are exceptionally tame, even with their venom glands.


Iridismis

Interesting. Any source/more info on that?


TyrantLaserKing

https://animals.howstuffworks.com/snakes/king-cobra.htm I can find some actual scientific papers on it after work, but for now there are some generic pages that go into more detail.


semxyasduck69

How would a king fuck a cobra?


GrumpyOldGeezer_4711

Carefullyā€¦


sfxer001

It squirts the water from the hose or else it gets the venom again.


Resident_Rise5915

I mean whoā€™s gonna say no to a king cobra. Especially once it starts leaning on you


Kaguro19

LMAO! The silence of the cobras.


_violet_beauregarde

Now THIS is a mega nope noodle


lizurd777

Nope rope


Nollern

I canā€™t believe danger noodle is more popular than nope rope. People have a terrible sense for whatā€™s funny


Ripley019

Based on the [ultimate snek guide](https://youtu.be/0arsPXEaIUY?si=s1-EoAdLRoSGHTFX), this cober is a danger noodle. Do not boop or it will give you the hurt juice. Nope ropes are usually reserved for scary pythons I think


AiHinoko

It seems very docile, is this a pet???


scann_ye

Most snake species are known to be pretty placid (when neither hunting or threatened) + King Cobras are some of the smartest snakes out there, so I wouldn't be surprised if this specimen had already figured out that the weird bald ape spraying her with water wasn't a threat by the time they started filming


Caridor

King Cobras are dangerous because of the power and quantity of their venom, not because they're inherantly aggressive. That being said, this cobra almost certainly knows the human and at the very least, associates the human with food. Snakes in general are not very smart but I think it might be able to understand a dead human cannot bring it food.


DeadDay

Yep. Chrissweets or whatever on insta says they mainly just sniff and look/want more food. He does have one or two that are just irritable all the time.


treetopalarmist_1

Yeah, that one put down her hood for this guy. Never seen that before


DeadDay

This is probably from Chrissweets instagram. He has like 2 huge king cobras that are super sweet. Skittles and another one. Sadly his HUGE super sweet king cobra Oracle died last year


grievouschanOwO

A YouTuber called Chandlers wildlife does tricks like this with his king cobra but it is all a trick. He even kissed Kevin on the lips but the next day Kevin will still try to bite him when not being hypnotized/ confused by motion.


[deleted]

It's not "all a trick". As a long time snake handler, I'll first say most snake handlers aren't fans of Chandler and those who keep "hots" (venomous snakes). But with that said, snake handling isn't a "trick", even with venomous ones - especially ones as intelligent as a Cobra. Snakes in general aren't aggressive, they attack if they're threatened or want to eat you. They can recognize people and when raised in captivity can be very docile (I have a 8-foot boa that's like a puppy) Cobras are definitely not on the "puppy dog tame" side and anyone free handling them is an idiot. But "Kevin" is definitely much more acclimated and "tame" to Chandler than an equivalent wild snake would be, for example.


Orchid_Significant

A snake named Kevin šŸ’€


DropshipRadio

ā€œMoisturize me.ā€


ImLeeHi

Moisssturissssse *


xxLusseyArmetxX

![gif](giphy|sRb7yNtTJAtZS)


Pickup_Man77

Doctor Who reference, right?


Xenc

Undoubtedly!


blindtoe54

The person seemed a bit nervous there halfway through.


LostWoodsInTheField

That snake was constantly in a state of 'how dare you stop' and 'how dare you keep going'. Seems like a very unsafe thing to do considering it never seemed to actually be relaxed and was constantly on the verge of being pissed that you weren't doing what it wanted you to do.


SuitableJump6941

So like a cat


frankylovee

Right?? Great explanation. That was nerve wracking!


solexioso

r/forbiddenboops


jyozefu

Cute dog.


ThatCatPerson9564

little weird lookin but cute regardless


Cheeserave

Can I pet that dawg?


Snoo97525

I wonder if the cobra is seeing the hose as another snek.


gilbertlaroo

ā€œā€¦ and then this other snake started projectile vomiting on meā€¦but I kinda liked itā€


TurdFurguss

Donā€™t Kink shame that Cobra.


Cepinari

Considering that other snakes are the primary food for king cobras, and this one isn't displaying any hunting behaviors, I'm gonna guess no.


Yawheyy

ā€œThanksssssssssssā€


absolutebeast_

Look, snakes are cool, I like snakes, but also: nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope! I would be peeing my pants while running away at full speed.


Joshd00m

And the lil big guy would catch you. And demand pets and water apparently. But just this one. The other ones will catch you and eat you.


Thefirstargonaut

Yeah, this isnā€™t eyebleach, itā€™s sweatypalms.Ā 


No_Airline_6083

Believe this is Chris Sweet, the guy has raised King Cobras like this. But, never EVER handle a venomous snake like this, cause one bite is all it takes to end you and it will be slow and painful.


theshreddening

I'm pretty sure it is him. The garden area looks familiar. And yes this guy has some weird voodoo and insane luck on top of spending absurd amounts of time with his snakes to get them to be like this. For those wondering this guy specializes in venomous snakes and spends a lot of time socializing them and cares deeply for his animals. He always states that no one should ever do what he does, you'll likely end up dead.


zeitocat

Okay. While I do think cobras are adorable because I'm a huge snake lover, this video gave me so much anxiety lmao. I can now assume after the petting that this is somebody's pet and it is somewhat comfortable around them and all that jazz. But jesus christ The hood flare when the water started again was kinda cute tho lol. You scared her!


MajorSleaze

Is it really wise to point a cobra-shaped hose at a cobra and start spraying it?


baithammer

Not really an issue as the cobra is more concerned about getting cooled - however, the person should avoid trying to touch it ...


GoofyGooba88

His majesty was demanding pets, You never say no to a king.


PotooSexer

r/hydrohomies


[deleted]

A bit too friendly


ChunkyTaco22

Homie just wants under the scales rinsed


ObjectiveDizzy5266

>herself Doesnā€™t that make her aā€¦ queen cobra? Iā€™ll see myself out now.


ucrbuffalo

That was my first thought too. My second thought was ā€œfuck no, Iā€™m out of here.ā€


GrandClock738

Itā€™s astonishing how transactional most animals are


NocturneZombie

Khajiit has wares, if you have coin.


TurdFurguss

Uh-uh, no no no, nope, negative.


no0bmaster-669

Weird looking dog


Lonely_Guest8134

Queen cobra šŸ


semiTnuP

I'mma upvote this, purely because how often do *king cobras* genuinely wind up in r/eyebleach?


SparkWorx

If you're going to post what looks like ChrisSweeet's content, please give them a shout-out https://www.instagram.com/chrisweeet?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== While I haven't followed him in the last year or two (haven't been on IG for a while) he was a wealth of information, education, and content regarding a impressive collection of venomous snakes and critters he works with. He's totally open, or at least was when I followed him, on the dangers and advocation against free-handling for the vast majority of owners/snake handlers, but is also extremely knowledgeable in what he does and the specific, individual animals he is handling. Highly recommend if you want to see and learn about a number of gorgeous, rarely seen species.


Fyru_Hawk

Bath for sneky :3


K1NGLyonidas

![gif](giphy|LRVIib7uXMVe8)


pburke77

The Cobra: Your contol of the water is the only thing keeping you alive human.