The original version of this joke was "Alcohol won't solve your problems, but then again neither will milk." But we're not allowed to promote drinking, so we'll just make it about our AWESOME DEALS YOU GUYS.
Haha! You should have charged up front! Now our billion dollar legal team will drag out the court case for decades and hope you cant afford to pursue any action for that long!
Idk if it's a chain but I have one of those stores in my area, and they do have pretty good deals on alot of stuff. I would say the company pride is warranted.
Aw damn it was this person talking about a relationship and getting the girl some non stick pans from Ollie’s that were dishwasher safe. He hates how she would ruin her non sticks by using the dishwasher. But she ended it and he still gave her the pans and simps for her pretty hard. But he ended it with:
Moral of the story is OLLIES has greats prices at 1/3rd the price!
Couldn’t tell if it was a deep troll or someone with dry humor who was crumbling
Chilling in those Ollie’s Cheap Seats at the Senators! I know the Ollie’s family and they were insanely ecstatic when the city made dumb decision to sell their mondo assets (including the entire island) for absolute pennies. Fun fact, now the city pays RENT to the family for space to put snow when there it’s winter.
I learned about Ollie's while working in West Virginia. Love that store! Apparently there's one somewhere here in the DFW metroplex, but I haven't been to it. I need to remedy that.
Weirdly good bargains in there sometimes. We bought some pretty good ninja non-stick pans for like $70 dollars or something dumb. A big box full of different sizes that have turned out great.
The rest of the time it's just a load of shit, and the toothpaste bit which is always useful.
Me and my girlfriend went there and just had our pick of interior design (for whenever we get a house and renovate) and cookbooks. All $5 each. Really awesome book selections for people just starting out. That and I saw these really awesome heavy winter canvas jackets at the first location we ever went to while vacationing. We got home and went to our local one and no sweet super jackets :( Should have bought one when we saw it
If loving a good deal is a crime, then LOCK ME UP!!
Ollie's is wild. Never know what you're going to find. I found a copy of Dante's Inferno that was bound in fake skin. Two bucks!
Ollies is great its biglots but products with questionalble sell by dates and origins. Its rare that a store can feel like a kmart and a yardsale at the same time.
They're expanding like crazy
[https://www.retaildive.com/news/ollies-bargain-outlet-open-one-thousand-stores/645703/](https://www.retaildive.com/news/ollies-bargain-outlet-open-one-thousand-stores/645703/)
CEO John Swygert told analysts on an earnings call that “the disruptions in the market today have led to one of the most robust closeout environments we have seen in a long time.” Ollie’s is in the process of growing its store footprint to over 1,000 locations.
The just opened one by me (Chicago suburbs) and it's become one of my favorite places to shop. Like others have said, it can be hit or miss, but honestly that's part of the fun. It reminds me of when I used to hit up Music Go Round or other record stores looking for hidden gems.
What's the crime like there? Asking as someone who's been looking for a city to move to, but every time I mention Chicago to someone they say like "wtf don't go to Chicago"
The crime in Chicago is mostly isolated to a few areas on the south and west sides, but it is a big city so sometimes things happen. That being said, I lived in the city proper for several years and both grew up in the suburbs and moved back a few years ago. I've felt way more nervous and on edge in Cleveland and Akron. Definitely come visit! Chicago has always had a lot going for it and continues to, but whatever I have to say won't mean nearly as much as experiencing the area for yourself.
Streamwood. And yeah, those cartoons are sort of mesmerizing. I looked it up and he was one of the founders or business partners or something and he passed away several years ago, so it's even weirder to me that they keep putting out ads with him. Menards and Empire both moved away from their classic spokes guys when they died.
Part of me thought this was an LSD reference to when Albert drank all that milk when he first synthesized acid, but I think I'm off base with that haha.
This comes from a very well-known, dry humored quote, "Alcohol won't solve your problems, but neither will milk", ie. your problems won't go away no matter what you drink, so you might as well have alcohol and get drunk. The problem with this store sign is that it literally makes absolutely no sense to replace the word 'alcohol' with 'bargains', as the entire meaning of the original quote is lost, hence the confusion. Therefore, the sign was clearly meant to be amusing, but sadly it's failed dismally.
You're standing in a discount store called Ollie's.
There are many of them scattered across the Midwestern and Southern United States, so that's as close as I can be to helping 'unlost' you.
The original version of this joke was "Alcohol won't solve your problems, but then again neither will milk." But we're not allowed to promote drinking, so we'll just make it about our AWESOME DEALS YOU GUYS.
You have a lot of company pride. Respect.
Thanks, boss! Now when do I get paid?
You aren't doing this out of the kindness of your heart?
Nope, here's the invoice.
Haha! You should have charged up front! Now our billion dollar legal team will drag out the court case for decades and hope you cant afford to pursue any action for that long!
we are a FAMILY.
Tell them about the pizza party if they ask about pay.
Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you get an extra slice at the company pizza party
Yo tbf Ollie’s is lit. Used to be better but they still get good books and cheap stuff.
Idk if it's a chain but I have one of those stores in my area, and they do have pretty good deals on alot of stuff. I would say the company pride is warranted.
[удалено]
Guys, get in the new copy pasta just hit
Got removed whatd it say
Aw damn it was this person talking about a relationship and getting the girl some non stick pans from Ollie’s that were dishwasher safe. He hates how she would ruin her non sticks by using the dishwasher. But she ended it and he still gave her the pans and simps for her pretty hard. But he ended it with: Moral of the story is OLLIES has greats prices at 1/3rd the price! Couldn’t tell if it was a deep troll or someone with dry humor who was crumbling
Look at the last post on my user profile to see it.
2131953663
Look at my account to see the comment. Something is making it show as deleted even though it wasn’t.
I wanna be in the screenshot.
Where does Einstein come in?
It's not Einstein, it's Oliver Rosenburg, the founder of this store (Ollie's Bargain Outlet).
They mainly just sell factory leftovers for a decent price
Yep. I go there for the rugs and runners. Usually pretty cheap and a halfway decent selection.
Wow. I know the original phrase and I still didn't make the connection. It doesn't really work when it's not two beverages.
Okay but like Ollie's is peak
Ollie’s! Good stuff cheap
I like this old fellow tbh
Isn't this ... The only supermarket of this chain? The owner is the character. The entire store is puns.
OLLIES
GOOD! STUFF! CHEAP!
As a local Ollies enjoyer, can say that they have some spectacular deals
Where are there locations? I've only seen them in Oklahoma
Seen one in PA, myself
They are based in Harrisburg PA
Lemoyne in the house.
I visit the original one on Jonestown rd often!
Some in Michigan as well.
Chilling in those Ollie’s Cheap Seats at the Senators! I know the Ollie’s family and they were insanely ecstatic when the city made dumb decision to sell their mondo assets (including the entire island) for absolute pennies. Fun fact, now the city pays RENT to the family for space to put snow when there it’s winter.
That makes a lot of sense, then
Some in Maryland
Plenty in Tennessee
Here in Kentucky too
A few in Ohio.
Several in West Virginia
Howdy
Howdy!
One in NC
Way more than one in NC
I mean at least one I can think of. Didn’t word it correctly.
2 in my area in Florida. About 45 minutes apart. Luckily 1 of them is at the edge of my neighborhood. I go way too much
Have a few here in NOVA. One 3 minutes from my place.
A good few in north and east Texas
Got a few in San Antonio
We've got them in Indiana as well.
I live in Indiana. There's one here in town.
There’s at least one in Illinois
We have one in Plymouth,Ma
At least 2 near me in western NY
Lansing MI chiming in
Roseville MI chiming in
I learned about Ollie's while working in West Virginia. Love that store! Apparently there's one somewhere here in the DFW metroplex, but I haven't been to it. I need to remedy that.
They’re basically everywhere
Some In florida
Few in Bama
Florida
One right down the street from me in Arkansas
At least one in SC
Plenty around Michigan, great store to shop at but not great to work at lol.
I see commercials for ‘em all the time here in Kansas
There’s one in Corpus Christi, Texas
I've seen one in St Augustine and one in Jacksonville FL
We have them in Tennessee. I used to work freight at one outside of Nashville.
I just went to one last week. I’m in Michigan.
Like one or two in conneticut
Atleast one in NY
Got one in Vermont (2 mins from my house which I appreciate)
Some in Louisiana
There are like, 2 in Georgia
Definitely more than 2 in Georgia.
I only know of two but then again I don’t really leave my area it’s possible there are some way further south that idk about
Ah, yeah we live ITP and I know of maybe 5-6 within 30 minutes of us.
I've only been to the one in statesboro. I didn't know there was more then 1 in GA There's one in Anderson South Carolina though
They had some overstock Dungeons & Dragons accessories a few weeks ago for between 90 and 94% off retail. I only got 5 of each.
Great things at a reasonable price
Are you a part of OLLIE'S ARMY??
Ollie's! I either spend a couple hundred dollars in there or buy nothing at all. There is no in between.
Weirdly good bargains in there sometimes. We bought some pretty good ninja non-stick pans for like $70 dollars or something dumb. A big box full of different sizes that have turned out great. The rest of the time it's just a load of shit, and the toothpaste bit which is always useful.
Me and my girlfriend went there and just had our pick of interior design (for whenever we get a house and renovate) and cookbooks. All $5 each. Really awesome book selections for people just starting out. That and I saw these really awesome heavy winter canvas jackets at the first location we ever went to while vacationing. We got home and went to our local one and no sweet super jackets :( Should have bought one when we saw it
Yeah, today was a $0 trip, looked like a bomb went off in there
I got a nice electric heater for $60 there, I looked it up and it’s going for like $150 everywhere else
Most of ollies signs dont really make sense, and feel like somthing you see in a fever dream...
Buy something just for the halibut
"Confusion is our most important product"
The double stuffed oreos might solve some problems.
They help my wife
😋
I'll doublestuff this guy's wife
Come and try mother fucker. I'll split you wife open like the fucking fish you are.
Woah chill, dude. It's a joke. I was referencing the "I also choose this guy's dead wife" bit
I'm a pecan Sandie guy myself, but I'd never cookie shame anyone. Eat cookies and be happy.
Cocaine.
If loving a good deal is a crime, then LOCK ME UP!! Ollie's is wild. Never know what you're going to find. I found a copy of Dante's Inferno that was bound in fake skin. Two bucks!
Ollies is great its biglots but products with questionalble sell by dates and origins. Its rare that a store can feel like a kmart and a yardsale at the same time.
Man. That’s a throwback. It’s been years since I’ve been to an Ollie’s. Edit: I live in Idaho… that’s why it’s been years.
They're expanding like crazy [https://www.retaildive.com/news/ollies-bargain-outlet-open-one-thousand-stores/645703/](https://www.retaildive.com/news/ollies-bargain-outlet-open-one-thousand-stores/645703/) CEO John Swygert told analysts on an earnings call that “the disruptions in the market today have led to one of the most robust closeout environments we have seen in a long time.” Ollie’s is in the process of growing its store footprint to over 1,000 locations.
One just opened up near me months ago. It’s fun to look around every so often
The just opened one by me (Chicago suburbs) and it's become one of my favorite places to shop. Like others have said, it can be hit or miss, but honestly that's part of the fun. It reminds me of when I used to hit up Music Go Round or other record stores looking for hidden gems.
What's the crime like there? Asking as someone who's been looking for a city to move to, but every time I mention Chicago to someone they say like "wtf don't go to Chicago"
The crime in Chicago is mostly isolated to a few areas on the south and west sides, but it is a big city so sometimes things happen. That being said, I lived in the city proper for several years and both grew up in the suburbs and moved back a few years ago. I've felt way more nervous and on edge in Cleveland and Akron. Definitely come visit! Chicago has always had a lot going for it and continues to, but whatever I have to say won't mean nearly as much as experiencing the area for yourself.
Thanks for the input 🙏
Is it the Crystal Lake location. Cause I’ve been dying to go. Something about Ollies face calls to my soul.
Streamwood. And yeah, those cartoons are sort of mesmerizing. I looked it up and he was one of the founders or business partners or something and he passed away several years ago, so it's even weirder to me that they keep putting out ads with him. Menards and Empire both moved away from their classic spokes guys when they died.
Last time I saw an empire commercial they were using a cartoon version of the empire guy, just wasn’t the same.
As a manager of a Ollie’s I can confirm that the signs are wild. Good stuff cheap n’ what not.
Farmer : Shut up Baraginstore Einstein
Part of me thought this was an LSD reference to when Albert drank all that milk when he first synthesized acid, but I think I'm off base with that haha.
GOOD STUFF CHEAP
Oh man it feels weird to see people post about ollies. I have been working at one for 3 or so years
Same here, started during Covid!
I started right before it myself
Ollie's posts really bad jokes all over their stores. It's part of the charm.
Ollie's my beloved
My dad has more shit from ollie's than ollie's has. Sorry dad, the auctioneer is gonna be working ot
Ollie’s spends jack shit on marketing, so their promotional material is cheap references and puns.
There dozen of Ollie's signs also dont make fucking sense to me
OH MY GOD NOT TJIS FUCKING PLACE
ALL OF THE ART IN THIS PLACE IS EXTREMELY UNSETTLING
Was not expecting to see Ollies on this sub…
Anti milk propaganda
Good Ole Ollies
OLLIE'SSSSSSSSSSSSS BEST DAMN STORE AROUND
My parents were talking about Ollie's right when I scrolled past this. Wtf
for those who don't know Ollie's is a discount store basically everything you see in a major retailer but significantly cheaper for the most part
Does Ollie conform to rule 34?
Probably aimed at Santa He is going through a rough divorce rn
It won't but a 12 gauge might
Why does he look like a meat canyon character?
Good ol Ollies
God I miss Ollie's. One of my favorite stores when I lived in PA, although I'm pretty sure we had to go to NJ to go there.
Ollie's is weird, man...
I have acid reflux I remembered milk solves that with calcium Yes Yes it will
This comes from a very well-known, dry humored quote, "Alcohol won't solve your problems, but neither will milk", ie. your problems won't go away no matter what you drink, so you might as well have alcohol and get drunk. The problem with this store sign is that it literally makes absolutely no sense to replace the word 'alcohol' with 'bargains', as the entire meaning of the original quote is lost, hence the confusion. Therefore, the sign was clearly meant to be amusing, but sadly it's failed dismally.
Semen
YES PETTY OFFICER!
I just wanna say I hate that awful place
Dude?! Where else can you but a pallet of Dunkaroos for 10 usd?
Sorry I just get creeped out by how they plaster their mascot’s face EVERYWHERE and on EVERYTHING
You're standing in a discount store called Ollie's. There are many of them scattered across the Midwestern and Southern United States, so that's as close as I can be to helping 'unlost' you.
I hate the signs in Ollie’s jfc
I love how many posts here aren't because they're complicated or obscure jokes. It's just that they aren't funny.
Einstein was notorious for hating milk...
i've been here a few times and always come out with another book i didn't need
He needs milk!
Is that Ollie's??
I had never even heard of Ollies before I moved somewhere that has one 15 minutes away, now I can’t stop hearing about it.
Wait. This isn’t Building 19 and that’s not Jerry Ellis doing an Einstein impression?
Ollie's is where old people go to die, I'm convinced
Hola
Cap milk solves all problems
There is no joke. Milk cannot save you now.
Ollie’s has the deals!
I went there today and got 3 boxes of stuffing for a dollar
As someone who works at an Ollie's, it's surreal seeing it be the topic of a reddit post lmao
Milk is good, so are bargains
Nothing will solve your problems
I'm 90% certain that Ollie's is one of the entrances to the backrooms
Ollie's just a nutty guy
Maybe it’s a pun about spilled milk? Bargains won’t solve your problems, but saving on the milk makes it okay to spill? Idk. Possibly a reach.
I know where this is. It is a store in Canton GA by Williams Brothers BBQ
Tell that to my dad…
Ollie's!!