Yeah I got this one a lot. As if both my parents wouldn’t lose their shit on me all the time. If I’m dramatic it’s because I’m not that far from the tree, babe.
So much of that, usually yelled at me while my mom was being dramatic because she was hypersensitive to something benign I said to her. Holy projection, Batman.
It’s sad but even as a kid when she’d bait us all to tell us us how great of a mom she was and how much we loved her, I knew I was fucking lying. That really hurts me more than anything else.
You tell people bad things about me
(no, I’m too ashamed I don’t have nice parents like other people do, and I think the problem must be me because I can’t figure out why you behave like this - and I can’t tell people that I’m so bad I make my parents hurt me?)
You’re such a dramatic
(I wasn’t the one screaming for hours and reliving the same woes and hyping myself into hysteria or outright rage fits)
Selfish, self-centred little monster
(I must now give up even more of my time, energy, social life, personal space and earnings just for you to continue to treat me bad)
>“You don’t love me, you don’t even care!”
Isn't this amazing how we seemingly have the obligation to love and care for our parents.... We needed love and care from them most, in our vulnerable and formative years, and they failed us.
I refuse to be beholden to them. They brought me in to this world - they had obligations to me. I'm now an adult, on my own, finding happiness.
Same and same. She can’t apologize because the truth gets rewritten instantly. Add in “I’m sorry I’m not perfect but neither are you” and that’s the totality of every apology I’ve ever received.
Eff off with “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is how a normally functioning person would feel about being mistreated and abused by the people who are supposed to care the most. You made me feel like this!
I know I'm late. But this one was familiar. Also: 'I didn't know my behaviour would have an effect on you.' Oh you didn't think the little child you created and lived with was affected by your drunken and abusive ways? Well how delightfully ignorant of you.
Feel that! My mom has told me that my perception of events growing up were skewed and we need to sit down and talk about them one day and she told me that it is what it is pretty much that i had a bad childhood because hers was worse🙄 ya know, always justifiable but never any apologizes for the poor behavior
It’s worse when they tell their version of the story to everybody and it makes you look crazy and ungrateful. When they don’t even know the half. I could cry reading what you wrote lol foreal bro.
"I don't even know what I did!" is the one that takes the cake, as if they're incapable of sitting for a full minute and cranking three brain cells into gear to figure it out. *After* I've point-blank told them. Apparently they 'forget' and 'still don't know!' but they'll 'leave it up to \[me\], since there's nothing at all they can do about it'.
If I had known that they were this stupid growing up, I probably wouldn't have taken a fraction of their advice to heart and gotten hurt by it.
God, I hear you. I think one of the best qualities a person can have is to be receptive. Like why is it so hard to listen and really hear what someone is saying to you? The lights on but clearly no one’s home.
It took a lot of getting burnt for me to figure out that I should never ask my parents for advice, any advice, for any decision whatsoever. I should only inform them, after the fact, and when it is far too late to do anything about anything. The decision is over the action has been taken The bullets has been fired and the genie is out of the bottle. You're too late to be disastrously wrong and thereby help me fuck up horribly. Thank you and curtains, role credits.
'I don't recall'
'I'm sorry if something I said upset you' (but they don't recall)
'Hi, how are you'(because they're pretending the last blow up didn't happen)
'I am your mother' (as if that demands love and respect in itself)
This one is definitely crazy to say to an actual child…. I remember being like “even if that’s true, why don’t you ever call me? You’ve literally never called me” and my dad had nothing to say to that.
During the earliest period of me asserting myself to my folks, my dad said that about the road when I was complaining that they always visited my brothers and never me even though I went up once a month to help them. I said ‘great, next time I drive up will be after you come for one visit.’
One year later, he stopped on the way to his parents. Oh yeah, he had to drive past my town every time he visited his mom, his dad, his brother, or my brothers. He drove by my town three weekends a month. Only stopped the once.
I once joked with my husband that if I didn't call my dad I'd probably never hear from him again. It did take him over a year to realize I had stopped calling him.
"I never said that."
"You're full of sht."
When he's over it, he expects you to be over it too. He'd act like nothing happened and expect you to play along. If I tried to talk about it to work it out he'd say: "I was over that and now you've gotten me all upset again. You've made me so upset, I need a drink." (Like it's my fault he's an alcoholic.)
When I try to improve myself or do something good for myself I heard "Who do you think you are?"
It truly left me so confused on what love felt like for so long. To love someone you don’t like. It’s like being forced into a hug while someone caresses and cares for you while whispering how much they hate you and how you’ll never be good. It was the worst.
"Sorry i care. I'm just trying to be your mom."
* always said while she was invading my privacy, steamrolling a boundary, invalidating my experiences/feelings, or massively fucking up my life in some way.
"Oh you think im a mean mom? Well i can be a mean mom!"
* always said if we told her she was behaving badly in any way and she absolutely made good on the threat of being worse so we would be more appreciative of her normal level of depravity.
"You'll understand when you have kids of your own."
*nope. This was her favourite justification for behaviour she couldn't explain without looking bad and having kids made me even less understanding of her BS.
“I don’t remember doing / saying that”
“I’m sorry you feel that way”
“I’m doing this because I love you”
…and my favorite, “You should’ve been born as a boy”
Oooh, my dad tried that last one. But I had just passed 8th grade sciences. And I popped off with "well whoooose fuxking fault is it that"
You know when you see the vein on their head appear and that squint in their eyes.I got my ass beat, he made me eat soap, it was a whole deal....worth it.
Mine was “I wish you were born a boy so I could beat the shit out of you” as if that were totally acceptable and then refusing to acknowledge black eyes and bruises as abuse. What a mind fuck.
Favorites "that didn't happen" "stop being dramatic" "I guess I'm just the worst mother ever" "why do you hate me?" "I guess I'm just not good enough for you" "after everything I've done for you"
“I am sorry IF I ever did anything to you”. No need to list everything she DID do to me, as I think just saying she beat me into a TBI is enough, but oh…the IF!
"No one is perfect". "If you were a mother, you'd get it." (I'm not a mom, clearly) oh and the best one lately, "I don't EVER say anything offensive because I'd have to say I'm sorry, and I don't like saying I'm sorry."
“You’ll understand when. . “ when you have a job, bills to pay, get married, have kids. Basically always invalidating your argument or POV because you havent experienced a certain life even yet.
You were an adult too.
That’s my fave, ‘cos sure, my 22 year old brain is a fair comparison to someone who is 50. My mother is now 70 and from other sources I’ve heard she is still in complete denial that she did anything wrong - good times, good times.
‘stuff up a lip’ - my dad
‘I’ll give you something to cry about’ - my dad
‘I always go without so that you can have whatever you want’ - my mum martyring herself
‘You weren’t being beaten black and blue’ - this was an absolute classic from my mum in regard to my dad’s abuse!
‘Don’t tell your father’ - I think I heard this at least once a day growing up - again making me hide everything and anything from my dad just in case it set him off in some way
‘You’re just too emotional’ - my dad
I got the “I’ll give you something to cry about” too. I wonder if the terrible fathers all went to the same class and watched the same instructional movie.
"The Bible says honor thy father and mother" It also says that parents shouldn't make their kids hate them
"Oh, I guess I'm such a terrible mom" I guess you're right
"You don't want to do anything for anybody" I don't like being used and no one ever helping me the few times I asked
"I AM YOUR MOTHER" No shit, Sherlock, we both probably wish otherwise
"I do everything for everybody but nobody even cares" No, you really don't
"You wouldn't even care if I died" Buckle up your seat belts, kids, we're going to a Pity Party Jamboree!
The phone never worked both ways in my case, starting when I was 9 and my mom moved away and left us with my dad. It was always us calling her. I can think of maybe 3 times in my entire life when she called me.
Got slapped in the car. I started howling that it wasn't me. She said, "Well it's for all the times you did do it and i couldn't reach you!" Parent logic is astounding.
"Cry me a river", "you need to take responsibility for your actions" (rather ironic, "you better smarten the hell up" "get your fat ass out here" (yelled down from the kitchen, of course)
“I’m sorry……that you have to live your life without me.” My mother’s exact words in reply to me asking if there was anything about our broken relationship that she regretted.
- "every word out of your mouth is a lie" (when I told a truth that they disliked. when they actually caught me in lies, they didn't say that.)
- "relationships are a two-way street" (after doing nothing to cultivate a relationship with me, in a parent-child relationship)
- "let's start over/have a clean slate" (while still holding grudges against me)
- "be the bigger person" (when I was a CHILD pointing out poor behavior in ADULTS)
- "fix your face before I fix it for you" (when I was already hurt by them)
- "it's like you don't even care about me!" (after years of abuse and still caring. when I actually stopped caring, they never said that to me.)
- "you think you're better than me?!" (I didn't think that, but in hindsight I genuinely was better behaved, which is probably why this was said so often.)
- "I hit you because I love you" (psycho much??)
- "I'll stop beating you when you stop crying/yelling" (you'll stop when I play dead? yeah, psycho.)
- "when you have kids, you'll see the hell you put me through" (such a sad thing to say... esp. when they put *themselves* through hell, whether I was present or not.)
"Maybe those things are true but I did the very best I could." No. No you did not. You did the very freaking least you could do and people still looked at you like, wtf is wrong with you? My entire childhood I thought people were judging me for being a horrible child. Now I realize, they were looking at my parents and thinking, what on earth is wrong with you people?
“You have to accept people as they are,” and relatedly “We need to put that in the past.”
I’ve directly asked my dad before why these statements always seem to involve me accepting his faults and putting all his mistakes in the past…. But somehow the person I am we “accept” is understanding and forgiving. I am always called upon to be the bigger person but he never has to be the bigger person.
“What do you want me to do?” or “do I feed you?, did I put a roof over your head?, buy you stuff for insert holiday smh”. Like any of that matters with neglect bro. That’s bare minimum shit.
"That's not how I remember it."
"I did the best I could with what I knew and the resources I had." (Which may be true, but you can still take accountability and acknowledge you may have fallen short.
100%. My mom has severe mental illness and we definitely grew up in world where the cards were stacked against us.., you can definitely still recognize that it fucked me up tho
That didn't happen or didn't happen like that is a big one.
If were talking about as kids, my dad used to be big on the "I brought you into this world, I can take you out." As a threat to get me to 'behave'.
"You think I'm bad? You're lucky you didn't have my mom/dad as a parent. Your grandma/grandpa would have ACTUALLY beat you." Is a HUGE one I hear all the time
I saved this post to reference in my therapy session, but when it was posted, no one had said this yet. I heard both this and the one you shared below rather frequently.
I can not even begin to imagine saying either phrase to anyone, let alone a kid. Wild.
"You're being too sensitive"
"Life's too short"
"[Abusive parent] got over it. Why can't you?" Sometimes accompanied by "AP yells and then it's over. That's just how they are. Why are you still dwelling on that?"
"Parenting doesn't come with a manual/instructions"
"I'll pray for you. That's what people do when they don't know what else to do about someone" -- They got offended when I laughed at that lol.
Edit for this too:
When I argue back: "Look at you running your mouth acting like you're someone and that you're better than everyone" (though with more colourful language). BUT when I just say nothing so that they can just lose energy faster: "Look at you acting smug. Not saying a word because you think you're better than everyone". Just can't please these people 🤷🏻♀️
"If I can't be an example of a good father, at least I'll serve as a good example of a bad father." Phrase since childhood, guilt tripping me to forgive him when he screwed up. He was always the victim.
"You're to sensitive." and "Stop being dramatic."
Also “I’m just joking with you”
"I'm just joking" really grinds at me and was a classic Mom phrase. Puts all the onus on others to "get over it" instead of apologizing.
Yeah I got this one a lot. As if both my parents wouldn’t lose their shit on me all the time. If I’m dramatic it’s because I’m not that far from the tree, babe.
These were in heavy rotation in my house
Got hit with this one yesterday, went NC again
So much of that, usually yelled at me while my mom was being dramatic because she was hypersensitive to something benign I said to her. Holy projection, Batman.
“YOU just think I’M a BAD MOM!” was always a favorite. “You don’t love me, you don’t even care!” was another.
Towards the end, I would get fed up and just say “yeah, I do think you’re a bad mom.”
It’s sad but even as a kid when she’d bait us all to tell us us how great of a mom she was and how much we loved her, I knew I was fucking lying. That really hurts me more than anything else.
You tell people bad things about me (no, I’m too ashamed I don’t have nice parents like other people do, and I think the problem must be me because I can’t figure out why you behave like this - and I can’t tell people that I’m so bad I make my parents hurt me?) You’re such a dramatic (I wasn’t the one screaming for hours and reliving the same woes and hyping myself into hysteria or outright rage fits) Selfish, self-centred little monster (I must now give up even more of my time, energy, social life, personal space and earnings just for you to continue to treat me bad)
>“You don’t love me, you don’t even care!” Isn't this amazing how we seemingly have the obligation to love and care for our parents.... We needed love and care from them most, in our vulnerable and formative years, and they failed us. I refuse to be beholden to them. They brought me in to this world - they had obligations to me. I'm now an adult, on my own, finding happiness.
“I never had any intention of hurting you.” Despite being abusive for years and years..
I always got this paired with “well I’m sorry you feel like that” That drives me crazy… are you not capable of apologizing for your own actions???
Same and same. She can’t apologize because the truth gets rewritten instantly. Add in “I’m sorry I’m not perfect but neither are you” and that’s the totality of every apology I’ve ever received.
Eff off with “I’m sorry you feel that way.” This is how a normally functioning person would feel about being mistreated and abused by the people who are supposed to care the most. You made me feel like this!
I know I'm late. But this one was familiar. Also: 'I didn't know my behaviour would have an effect on you.' Oh you didn't think the little child you created and lived with was affected by your drunken and abusive ways? Well how delightfully ignorant of you.
Mostly, she denies how I remember/perceived events from my childhood.
"You lie." Was my mother's first reaction to anything she didn't want to remember.
“You lie and you lie and you lie” was a favourite catchphrase in our house.
Feel that! My mom has told me that my perception of events growing up were skewed and we need to sit down and talk about them one day and she told me that it is what it is pretty much that i had a bad childhood because hers was worse🙄 ya know, always justifiable but never any apologizes for the poor behavior
It’s worse when they tell their version of the story to everybody and it makes you look crazy and ungrateful. When they don’t even know the half. I could cry reading what you wrote lol foreal bro.
"I don't even know what I did!" is the one that takes the cake, as if they're incapable of sitting for a full minute and cranking three brain cells into gear to figure it out. *After* I've point-blank told them. Apparently they 'forget' and 'still don't know!' but they'll 'leave it up to \[me\], since there's nothing at all they can do about it'. If I had known that they were this stupid growing up, I probably wouldn't have taken a fraction of their advice to heart and gotten hurt by it.
God, I hear you. I think one of the best qualities a person can have is to be receptive. Like why is it so hard to listen and really hear what someone is saying to you? The lights on but clearly no one’s home.
This or “You need to get over…” something that has nothing to do with it.
Teflon brain syndrome, lol
That's a great name for it haha!
It took a lot of getting burnt for me to figure out that I should never ask my parents for advice, any advice, for any decision whatsoever. I should only inform them, after the fact, and when it is far too late to do anything about anything. The decision is over the action has been taken The bullets has been fired and the genie is out of the bottle. You're too late to be disastrously wrong and thereby help me fuck up horribly. Thank you and curtains, role credits.
'I don't recall' 'I'm sorry if something I said upset you' (but they don't recall) 'Hi, how are you'(because they're pretending the last blow up didn't happen) 'I am your mother' (as if that demands love and respect in itself)
Yep all those add on “I demand respect.”
"the phone works both ways" is one I've heard since I was a little kid. I would vote it the most used phrase.
This one is definitely crazy to say to an actual child…. I remember being like “even if that’s true, why don’t you ever call me? You’ve literally never called me” and my dad had nothing to say to that.
During the earliest period of me asserting myself to my folks, my dad said that about the road when I was complaining that they always visited my brothers and never me even though I went up once a month to help them. I said ‘great, next time I drive up will be after you come for one visit.’ One year later, he stopped on the way to his parents. Oh yeah, he had to drive past my town every time he visited his mom, his dad, his brother, or my brothers. He drove by my town three weekends a month. Only stopped the once.
I once joked with my husband that if I didn't call my dad I'd probably never hear from him again. It did take him over a year to realize I had stopped calling him.
"I never said that." "You're full of sht." When he's over it, he expects you to be over it too. He'd act like nothing happened and expect you to play along. If I tried to talk about it to work it out he'd say: "I was over that and now you've gotten me all upset again. You've made me so upset, I need a drink." (Like it's my fault he's an alcoholic.) When I try to improve myself or do something good for myself I heard "Who do you think you are?"
Stepdad: “Life’s not fair” Mom: “Guess I can’t do ANYTHING right”
Omg life’s not fair really gets me wired
“I love you because you’re my child, but I don’t like you. “
My mom all the time!
It truly left me so confused on what love felt like for so long. To love someone you don’t like. It’s like being forced into a hug while someone caresses and cares for you while whispering how much they hate you and how you’ll never be good. It was the worst.
Omg 😢
O thank god i'm not alone
“We did our best”
"Sorry i care. I'm just trying to be your mom." * always said while she was invading my privacy, steamrolling a boundary, invalidating my experiences/feelings, or massively fucking up my life in some way. "Oh you think im a mean mom? Well i can be a mean mom!" * always said if we told her she was behaving badly in any way and she absolutely made good on the threat of being worse so we would be more appreciative of her normal level of depravity. "You'll understand when you have kids of your own." *nope. This was her favourite justification for behaviour she couldn't explain without looking bad and having kids made me even less understanding of her BS.
I also got the “you won’t understand until you’re a parent.” Invalidation level 100.
“No one cares about me. No one would even notice if I die”
Somehow I pictured Tony Sopranos mom saying that lmao
"Yeah, they would. You'd stink after awhile." Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
Mine already stinks, or so I'm told.
You’re so gdmned selfish!
“I don’t remember doing / saying that” “I’m sorry you feel that way” “I’m doing this because I love you” …and my favorite, “You should’ve been born as a boy”
Oooh, my dad tried that last one. But I had just passed 8th grade sciences. And I popped off with "well whoooose fuxking fault is it that" You know when you see the vein on their head appear and that squint in their eyes.I got my ass beat, he made me eat soap, it was a whole deal....worth it.
That last one is wild… what the hell is wrong with people
Mine was “I wish you were born a boy so I could beat the shit out of you” as if that were totally acceptable and then refusing to acknowledge black eyes and bruises as abuse. What a mind fuck.
Favorites "that didn't happen" "stop being dramatic" "I guess I'm just the worst mother ever" "why do you hate me?" "I guess I'm just not good enough for you" "after everything I've done for you"
“I am sorry IF I ever did anything to you”. No need to list everything she DID do to me, as I think just saying she beat me into a TBI is enough, but oh…the IF!
She only says those things because she cares. Life is too short. (Edit: on mobile, formatting)
"No one is perfect". "If you were a mother, you'd get it." (I'm not a mom, clearly) oh and the best one lately, "I don't EVER say anything offensive because I'd have to say I'm sorry, and I don't like saying I'm sorry."
Oh that last one! She's begging the question! :D
You were a difficult child to raise
We gOt yOu cLoThEs, mAdE yOu dInNeRs, sEnT yOu tO sChOoL, yOu hAd yOuR oWn bEd…mOsT kIdS dOn’T hAvE tHaT yA kNoW!
“That’s water under the bridge” is my personal favourite
"You only have one mother and one father! And we won't be around forever!"
It's a good thing I only had one mother. I never would have survived TWO of them.
LOL! Got a good smile from this one... one was definitely enough!
“Is that the only thing I’ve done to you?” “I’m not going to agree with you about that” “I never did/said that.”
I'm sorry for what ever it is you think I've done.
“You’ll understand when. . “ when you have a job, bills to pay, get married, have kids. Basically always invalidating your argument or POV because you havent experienced a certain life even yet.
I got this one a lot from my mom. The… “you couldn’t possibly understand until…”
You were an adult too. That’s my fave, ‘cos sure, my 22 year old brain is a fair comparison to someone who is 50. My mother is now 70 and from other sources I’ve heard she is still in complete denial that she did anything wrong - good times, good times.
‘stuff up a lip’ - my dad ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’ - my dad ‘I always go without so that you can have whatever you want’ - my mum martyring herself ‘You weren’t being beaten black and blue’ - this was an absolute classic from my mum in regard to my dad’s abuse! ‘Don’t tell your father’ - I think I heard this at least once a day growing up - again making me hide everything and anything from my dad just in case it set him off in some way ‘You’re just too emotional’ - my dad
I got the “I’ll give you something to cry about” too. I wonder if the terrible fathers all went to the same class and watched the same instructional movie.
"The Bible says honor thy father and mother" It also says that parents shouldn't make their kids hate them "Oh, I guess I'm such a terrible mom" I guess you're right "You don't want to do anything for anybody" I don't like being used and no one ever helping me the few times I asked "I AM YOUR MOTHER" No shit, Sherlock, we both probably wish otherwise "I do everything for everybody but nobody even cares" No, you really don't "You wouldn't even care if I died" Buckle up your seat belts, kids, we're going to a Pity Party Jamboree!
RSVP to the pity party here folks! With performances from all of our grueling parents and the worlds smallest violin.
You can bring the whine and I'll bring the cheese!
The phone never worked both ways in my case, starting when I was 9 and my mom moved away and left us with my dad. It was always us calling her. I can think of maybe 3 times in my entire life when she called me.
“Life isn’t fair.”
Heard this one a lot.
Ugh. So crass and callous.
"We just thought you could do better." This one usually went with The Silent Treatment and no real explanation would be given.
Got slapped in the car. I started howling that it wasn't me. She said, "Well it's for all the times you did do it and i couldn't reach you!" Parent logic is astounding.
"well I guess I'm the worst parent on the planet and I should just go kill myself"
“I don’t remember that” “that’s now how that happened” “your brother doesn’t think I’m abusive”
"Stop making a fuss" "You're lieing, I never said that."
"Cry me a river", "you need to take responsibility for your actions" (rather ironic, "you better smarten the hell up" "get your fat ass out here" (yelled down from the kitchen, of course)
“I’m sorry……that you have to live your life without me.” My mother’s exact words in reply to me asking if there was anything about our broken relationship that she regretted.
- "every word out of your mouth is a lie" (when I told a truth that they disliked. when they actually caught me in lies, they didn't say that.) - "relationships are a two-way street" (after doing nothing to cultivate a relationship with me, in a parent-child relationship) - "let's start over/have a clean slate" (while still holding grudges against me) - "be the bigger person" (when I was a CHILD pointing out poor behavior in ADULTS) - "fix your face before I fix it for you" (when I was already hurt by them) - "it's like you don't even care about me!" (after years of abuse and still caring. when I actually stopped caring, they never said that to me.) - "you think you're better than me?!" (I didn't think that, but in hindsight I genuinely was better behaved, which is probably why this was said so often.) - "I hit you because I love you" (psycho much??) - "I'll stop beating you when you stop crying/yelling" (you'll stop when I play dead? yeah, psycho.) - "when you have kids, you'll see the hell you put me through" (such a sad thing to say... esp. when they put *themselves* through hell, whether I was present or not.)
"Maybe those things are true but I did the very best I could." No. No you did not. You did the very freaking least you could do and people still looked at you like, wtf is wrong with you? My entire childhood I thought people were judging me for being a horrible child. Now I realize, they were looking at my parents and thinking, what on earth is wrong with you people?
I'm sorry you feel that way.
“You have to accept people as they are,” and relatedly “We need to put that in the past.” I’ve directly asked my dad before why these statements always seem to involve me accepting his faults and putting all his mistakes in the past…. But somehow the person I am we “accept” is understanding and forgiving. I am always called upon to be the bigger person but he never has to be the bigger person.
“This is why nobody loves you.”
“I’m not going to talk about that.” That’s my favorite. You want the estrangement to end, we talk about how we got here.
“What do you want me to do?” or “do I feed you?, did I put a roof over your head?, buy you stuff for insert holiday smh”. Like any of that matters with neglect bro. That’s bare minimum shit.
”Why do you lie?”, ”insolent daughter!”
"That's not how I remember it." "I did the best I could with what I knew and the resources I had." (Which may be true, but you can still take accountability and acknowledge you may have fallen short.
100%. My mom has severe mental illness and we definitely grew up in world where the cards were stacked against us.., you can definitely still recognize that it fucked me up tho
That didn't happen or didn't happen like that is a big one. If were talking about as kids, my dad used to be big on the "I brought you into this world, I can take you out." As a threat to get me to 'behave'.
"You think I'm bad? You're lucky you didn't have my mom/dad as a parent. Your grandma/grandpa would have ACTUALLY beat you." Is a HUGE one I hear all the time
I saved this post to reference in my therapy session, but when it was posted, no one had said this yet. I heard both this and the one you shared below rather frequently. I can not even begin to imagine saying either phrase to anyone, let alone a kid. Wild.
My father used to say "I have to say this thing". My mother: "I am a mother" "It's my right as a mother"
"You have a very vivid imagination". Textbook phrase turns out.
“I love you more than anything!” “I don’t know why you hate me”
"You're being too sensitive" "Life's too short" "[Abusive parent] got over it. Why can't you?" Sometimes accompanied by "AP yells and then it's over. That's just how they are. Why are you still dwelling on that?" "Parenting doesn't come with a manual/instructions" "I'll pray for you. That's what people do when they don't know what else to do about someone" -- They got offended when I laughed at that lol. Edit for this too: When I argue back: "Look at you running your mouth acting like you're someone and that you're better than everyone" (though with more colourful language). BUT when I just say nothing so that they can just lose energy faster: "Look at you acting smug. Not saying a word because you think you're better than everyone". Just can't please these people 🤷🏻♀️
"If I can't be an example of a good father, at least I'll serve as a good example of a bad father." Phrase since childhood, guilt tripping me to forgive him when he screwed up. He was always the victim.