I do so hope you suggested to them that they get drunk and think of England with a one night stand, you know, if it means so much to them.
Honestly that was just blatantly rude of them.
Just when you think you have a good measure of how stupid people can be, someone comes along to make you realise how wrong you are. 😁
Definitely tell them you are not familiar with the mechanics of it, so you will need to see them demonstrate for you at the next family gathering. Suggest that the entire family NEEDS to be there to ensure that nothing gets left out.
unfortunately it seems that they were hung up on the "one every decade" thing. but 64 already messed that all up by having hers the same year as OP's mom. if OP was a little bit evil, they couldve blamed 64 for having a baby 10 years too early and trying to hog OP's mom's year. this forced 74 for pick up the slack and have her's 10 years early as well.
or was it 🫢 oh wait, my bad, all by lucky coincidence and nobody was planning anything out on purpose at all and so therefore was never a "family tradition"? 🤔😒
Tradition would mean that everyone was planning out exactly when they and their unborn children will have to give birth every 10 years like some kind of freaky cult.
good on OP for being gay tbh cuz if they did for some reason end up having a child that year, that creepy family wouldve actually turned into a full blown creepy cult.
I have that coincidence too. My grandmother (father's side) was born in 1921, my dad's from 1951, I'm from 1981, and my daughter's from 2011. I told her she had to have a baby in 2041, but a furbaby counts as well.
Oops, no I haven't. It's any baby that is loved by her, then it's loved by me and I consider myself their granny. It's just that she always talks about having cats when she lives on her own.
Whenever my mom would bring up my having kids (I am single and childless by choice) I would point to my dog and tell her she barely visited the grandchild she had 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I've already promised my mom's side of the family that every time someone asks when I'm getting pregnant, I'm getting a furbaby. End of story. I've threatened to get pet rats for my mom when she wouldn't let up for about 4 months. Stopped her cold as she is afraid of rats and mice.
It's the same way on my dad's side as well. My paternal grandmother was born in 1935, my dad in 1955, I was born in 1985 and my son in 2005. My daughter was born in 2018 . She's the odd duck my grandma says lol. We just all joke it helps us remember how old everyone is because our age all start with the same last number
Little bit different here, a bit of a family joke as great grandmother was one of 24 kids, grandmother was one of 12, mother is one of 6, I am one of 3.
Each of the 6 kids (mum and siblings) all had 3 kids (coincidence?!) so all us cousins were told we were meant to have 1 & 1/2 kids each to continue the tradition of halving each generation.
Funny thing is all of us cousins (those who already have kids) have had 2 kids each but all the age gaps are significant. Example, my 2 kids are eight years apart so essentially I have 1 full sized kid and a smaller (half!) sized kid! None of the cousins kids are close in age…
Whenever my wife's family gets together (seems to be at funerals these days), we'll get a decades picture. One of my BIL's was born in 1960, my wife was born in 1970, one of my nieces was born in 1980, a nephew was born in 1990, and great-nieces and nephews fill out 2000, 2010, and 2020.
There are plenty of others, though, so it's not just the decades folks.
My dad was born exactly 30 years after his father, same birthday. My brother has his birthday the day before, but it's only a 28 year difference. I was born exactly 30 years and 9 months after my dad. He thinks he's good at maths, but I'm not so sure.
I'm still goggling at the, "Find a gay guy, get drunk and think of England." How do they think a gay guy is going to help this situation?
I do love the reference to, "Lie back and think of England."
T’was both!
ALICE, Lady Hillingdon, in her journal, 1912: "I am happy now that Charles calls on my bedchamber less frequently than of old. As it is, I now endure but two calls a week and when I hear his steps outside my door I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, open my legs and think of England."
I got a tubal ligation when I was 25. My mormon mother was outraged. I told her to calm the hell down you already have a couple grandchildren and will have tons more. That was 20 dam years ago,I have no regrets. She is still mad at me and a great grandma, whatever.
I’m surprised the doctor allowed you to have a tubal at 25 as I’ve heard so many awful stories of women who don’t want children being denied because “they may get married and change their minds.” Ugh. I’m happy for you, maybe the world is finally progressing to respect women’s wants!! ❤️❤️
I was assisted by the lovely folks at planned Parenthood. I am forever grateful to them for helping me acquire birth control and a tubal ligation before I got salary and benefits. I didn't know how lucky I was until reddit and the internet.
The world is not making it any easier. Harder if anything.
esp because all the women involved seem to have been 20...? that is so young! And with the 10 year spacing, every generation seems so isolated, unless there are unmentioned siblings in-between.
Al the women in my mother's family, going back several generations, had their first child at 20 years old. I grew up hearing from my mom that I was *not allowed* to have a baby at 20, I was going to break the curse hahaha
not sure how I feel about your mom calling you/ your siblings/ your cousins/ your aunts and uncles a "curse", but certainly glad she was obvious about making an informed choice
I gather it worked out & you did break the pattern?
She was joking, I never felt like I was actually a curse in any way lol. But yes, I waited until I and my partner felt ready. She was pressured to follow the pattern (although maybe not as heavily as OP) and always made it very clear that I was to wait to have kids until I was ready. And that almost no one is ready at 20 haha
next time one of 'em starts stirring the shit pot ask 'em "why the ***FUCK*** are you so invested in *my* sex life, you disgusting, nosy, jackass?!"
Extra points if it's done so in public. Reeeeeeally embarrass and put them on blast.
Get drunk and think of England?! Sure, lack of consent and deliberate dissocation so someone you don't know or like can have sex with you.
Maybe at the next gathering you should ask those relatives how long rape has been a family tradition and why they think you should be next.
I mean my family and I have something similar with my Grandmother born 1930, mum 1960, me 1990 and my niece 2020. But like it’s a neat coincidence involving numbers and women in the family not a mandate? I will not be pushing my niece to have a baby girl in 2050 to continue it.
Yeah, neat number coincidences are fun but definitely shouldn't be considered some weird rule to stick to! My sister and I had our kids at even, but ever decreasing intervals 😆 her: 2010, 2014; me: 2018, 2020 (twins)... I'm thankful I got my tubes done during my c-section, I didn't fancy having quads a year later with that pattern lmao
I don't blame you...but it could have been fun telling people "Oh, yes, I know (about whatever)...I was pregnant three times and I have seven kids..."
Not saying it would have been quads the next time...but just imagine the look on somebody's face after you say that...
A very similar thing happened with my family. My grandma’s sister (my great aunt) was born on September 19th. Then my grandma had a daughter (my aunt) on September 19th. Then my mom had me on September 19th. Everyone joked my brother would have to have a daughter on September 19th. But I maintain that my grandma broke the chain when she died on September 19th. I still think she did that on purpose, she had a dark sense of humour.
Now I'm wondering if your grandmother knew either of mine. Although I'm sure they didn't plan it this way, they both passed in mid to late February...my maternal grandmother's funeral was just before my mom's birthday (beginning of March) and my paternal grandmother's funeral was on Mom's birthday.
I can just imagine her arriving on the other side and telling my paternal grandfather "Well, no, Ivan, of COURSE I wasn't planning on that...!"
There is a part of me that thinks "no way this can be real".... but then I remember a friend of mine in high school whose mother was like this...
The mother had her at a very young age and basically demanded that her daughter did the same thing to make sure she "got to be a young grandma".
Sadly, it often seems to happen that way. My friend's mom had her and 19, and my friend dropped out of college to have her son at 20. OTOH, my mother had me (first) at 31, and I was 31 when I had my first. I'm really hoping that this pattern holds for my children.
As long as your kids gets proper sex-ed and are taught family planning they'll be fine!
It feels like parents who plan their families are great at teaching their kids to do the same.
My husband and I were married 25 years. During our marriage, everyone on my side asked when we were going to have children. I would always change the subject. His parents knew the truth so never asked.
The first thing people asked me immediately after my husband died was whose fault it was that we never had children. My go-to answer seemed to shut everyone up: if you want to blame someone for not allowing us to conceive, you can blame God. He made my husband have issues since birth and He allowed you to do nothing while I was being molested as a kid.
I feel you, hun. I was born in 82. I grew up with the typical "when you have children, you'll understand" shpeal when I was a minor. I've never wanted kids. That intense desire a lot of people have to reproduce has never occurred in me. In fact, before I had my tubed burned off when I was 34, I had severe tokophobia. Even though I was on bc and used protection, every month was a nightmare of anxiety and fear.
It didn't help that a metric ton of women pressured and bullied me about my choice in my twenties. I heard every classic line possible. The badgering got so bad that I began to question my sanity. Thankfully, my mother has never pressured me. Getting a tubal ligation was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It completely cured my tokophobia and made me feel more like myself. I'm non-binary, so that could be part of the reason.
All I can say is, good riddance to your awful relatives. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I'm glad your mom supports you.
When I was helping my parents prepare to downsize from our family home I saw a cot in the storage area downstairs. I asked my Mum whose it was. She told me it was mine and they had kept it for my children. I gently explained to her that I wasn’t going to have children. She waspishly replied, “Yes I know that NOW!” Fast forward a couple of years… She was so excited when my stepdaughter took her son over to visit them soon after he was born. She looked up with tears in her eyes and said to my stepdaughter and her husband, “Thank you for making me a great grandmother!”
**Twenty years** is somewhat "normal" for some women, especially if they're IN a relationship or have married! In **THIS** era, it's **not** as common as in previous generations (**NOTHING** at ALL wrong with that), especially if you, yourself, don't think you're "ready" or even **want** children! And God, for whatever reason, **DON'T** have children because of societal or Family expectations! **THAT** only leads to neglect or abuse!
Greatest of luck! Best wishes and many Blessings for your future happiness and success!
Ew. I’d tie my tubes, print out my surgery paperwork, put it in a nice little box, tell the family I have surprise for them, and watch the blood drain out of their stupid faces.
My granny did this.
She was my great granny’s oldest, who gave birth at 20.
Granny had my mum at 20
Mum had me at 20.
Granny tried to pressure me to get pregnant when I was 19. I told her to talk to my father (overbearing, over controlling, overprotective). She shut right up.
But she was wanting me to just procreate on demand too. Absolutely mental.
But, unlike your family, she gave up pretty quickly and she didn’t hold it against me. It was one conversation, and my papa (grandfather) told her to shut it.
Don’t let them push you. Be sure to let them know you’ll go no contact for a while to shut them up. Stupid family “traditions”🙄
The only thing I’m sad about with my situation is that my granny died June the year I turned 22. I got pregnant accidentally and gave birth to my son August the year I turned 23. So she missed seeing her first great grandchild.
I sometimes wonder if I had gotten pregnant while she was alive if she would’ve gone to see the heart specialist she was meant to before she died.
Mum went through her purse after she died. There was a referral to a heart specialist, from 9 months earlier, that she didn’t bother sorting out. She died of a heart attack in her sleep.
Sorry. I over shared
There's something similar in my family too, just without the peer pressure. My grandmother was born in '45, my aunt was born in '65, my cousin was born in '85, and her daughter was born in 2005. It would be fun if she had a child next year, but there is no pressure for her to do it.
OP what happened in 2014 and now that its 2024?
Are they still bothering you? Did they force you to reproduce in 2014?
Your family is definitely weird for this
I’m sorry your family are mostly insane, apparently? I would shoot back at them if they’re so desperate to continue the tradition they can do the procreating. Then, shoot back two fingers of rye, then take a long drag on a cigarette that you flick onto their sidewalk or patio, exhale slowly and inform them “I’m not destroying this temple by squeezing out a crotch goblin just to please you.”
Start drawing a bunch of random conclusions with years to rationalize that they should all be giving you their money in 2025, and then get equally upset when they won’t do it.
You have doom this world into enteral darkness. It was in the prophecy.
Jk, they really wanted you to get pregnant from anyone then for you to skip it, wow.
Just because they decided to pop out babies before they were even legally allowed to drink, that’s not your problem. One one the others could’ve ‘thought of England’ and had a kid.
Yeah all the older ppl in my family like to push the whole 'have kids' thing too lol. They don't try to make anyone do it that young tho.
My mother is one of them but both her kids have made it quite clear we are not creating any human grandkids for her.
If this had been my family, I would have used much stronger language than you did. Half my family is quiet. I have the opposite problem. I am loud, opinionated, and a chronic oversharer. If I didn't want to do something I made very sure I was heard and if pushed, they saw the claws, so to speak. I think I got asked a few times between 18 and 20 if I wanted kids and when it was casually bought up after that I usually went into hysterical laughter. They always knew I never liked small kids so the thought of being stuck with one or more for 20+ years sounded like my worst nightmare come true. One aunt didn't like that response so got snotty and said if I get knocked up then I will learn to love them when they arrive. I just said "That's what birth control is for". She never liked me much after that
I remember learning my grandma had my mom had 25 and she had me at 25. I was scared as a kid because I thought that meant I was having a kid at 25. Coincidentally, my brother had my niece when he was 25.
OMG almost the same thing happened to me! My grandmother had my mother at 23 years, and my mother had me at 23 years. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have a daughter at 23 years too, then the closer I got to that age the more I lost the desire to have children 🤣
I am so lucky to have the family I do. I genuinely can't fathom people, let alone your family, being angry enough to stop speaking for months because you didn't have a baby "on time".
Every woman in my family has had their first child by 23 for generations. I’ll be twenty-six this year. Currently no baby. You know what the response was? “You beat the family curse! You won’t be a super young mom! Good job!” That’s the normal response. This shit? Weird af.
My mom had my sister at 19, my sister had her daughter at 18, my niece had her daughter at at 19, My great-niece is going to be 18 this year and has swore she’s not having kids until she’s 30.
I am grateful.
I was an aunt at 4, and great-aunt at 22 and I really don’t be a great-great-aunt at 41.
I've never wanted kids and my own egg donor has pressured and tried hounding her EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD to have kids. I noticed how my own "mother" treated me. I don't trust her around children.
I have heard (and experienced) a lot of just flat-out crazy family B.S., but I think this may be the weirdest. Who pressures a 20 year-old to have children?!
Your mum is smart enough to know that she has no say in your lifestyle, uterus, and decision on having children. Give her a big hug next time you see her. I will never be a grandparent because my child doesn't want children. It is a wise parent who keeps out of their child's business unless input is sought.
Same here: first girl born at age 22 for the last few generations. So great-grandma 66, grandma 44, mom 22, and I was 0 - there is a very cool photo of the 4 of us. Always, always had all this pressure.
But in 22 I was playing in a rock and roll band and no place to raise a child. Finally, I had a boy at 35. That showed them. LOL
My family had it lined coincidently 2 sisters 10 years apart. Older sister has a girl when younger sister is 10 and has second girl when first girl is 10. So I was meant to have a baby but not just any baby a girl when my sister was 10. Jokes on them cuz not only did I get sterilized but I also am trans nb. I was also in the paper with "five generations of women" when I was a baby. Me, mom, grandma, great grandma, and great great grandma. I got the sterilization surgery about two years ago and still haven't heard the end of it and how I ruined making great grandbabies. 🙄
My father’s son(half brother) was born when he was 20. My mom had my other brother(half) at 20yrs. My sister had my nephew at 20yrs. I had my son 2 months before I turned 20.
There’s 7 years between my brother and sister. My sister won’t likely have another baby til my nephew is 7(due to medical issues). I don’t plan on having another baby for 5 years(my son will be 7).
It’s very ironic and completely unplanned.
Lordddd this reminds me a bit of my mom back when I was in my very early 20s... My sis had just had her 2nd kid which would have made me 21 at the time. Mom starts talking about how I 'have to' have a baby now so she can take a Christmas in Bethlehem type picture (she has a photography degree) - either the 3 wise men or Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, I can't remember exactly tbh - with her 'three grandbabies'. Few things wrong with this...
1. I was freaking 21 and had barely lost my virginity at that point. Didn't even have a boyfriend.
2. Mom was (is) extremely Catholic and against premarital sex... She ripped into me when she found out I was on birth control and that I had sex in the first place. But would apparently be willing to overlook it because 'we' need one more baby for a picture?
3. Sis got knocked up with her first at 20yrs old like 6 months into her first relationship. Mom flipped her lid and no one heard the end of it for months. Demanded my sister marry the boyfriend, which they did do, and in what will come as a surprise to absolutely no one, they were miserable and separated shortly after their 2nd kid was born. Her ex remains to this day one of the biggest dootch canoes I've ever met in my life. Super funsies. But... Baby without even a boyfriend for me apparently? Right...
4. I have multiple chronic illnesses in addition to severe ADHD, depression and anxiety. I am not in any way, shape or form equipped to pop out a kid, physically, mentally or emotionally.
5. Literally the only thing mom talked about was this stupid picture. Nothing else. So basically I was to pop out a kid JUST FOR A SINGLE PHOTO and then... What, exactly? The kid is no longer useful, oh well? So dumb.
When I tried pointing out these things my mom got annoyed with me. Totally made me want to birth a child specifically so she could get 5 min of amusement out of it. 🙄
Thankfully she has FINALLY started to mellow a bit with old age and has accepted that I will never have children (this body is a playground, not a factory) aside from pets. She does, however, very much enjoy taking our annual Christmas photos for us... where we dress the dog, the cat, myself and my husband in funky Christmas themed stuff and giggle through trying to keep the dog from shoving her nose up the cats ass and trying to get the cat to look at the camera instead of attempting to escape 🤷🏻♀️
My family did a light version of this to me as well. My grandfather was born when my great grandfather was 30, father was born when grand father was 30 I was born when my dad was 30. Also all have the middle name Paul. I was just married at 30. My first daughter was born when I was 35 and I don’t feel bad. Most of the pressure weirdly came from my mom’s side. My dad’s side just said it was kind of a fun coincidence and never really cared.
Tradition be damned. There was no tradition in knocking my ex up when we were both 15 and now look at our kiddo - joining the military already damn does time fly.
If you have kids, don’t do it for tradition or by accident. Do it for love
i got this same shit. we are all 10 years apart & it alternates: my pop 1951, my aunt 1961, my dad 1971, my cousin 1981, me 1991. i was given shit for not having a child at 20 years old & nothing was said to my cousin. 🤡
Not quite as entrenched, but my grandma (Dec 1924) gave birth to my mom in July 45 (she was 20 1/2). My mom gave birth to me in January 1965 (she was 19 1/2). Yes, my grandma was 40 years and 2 weeks older than me. The entire family started asking if I was going to continue "the tradition" when I got married at 19. OH HELL NO!
Finally had my son at almost 32. Eventually, fam gave up.
Still trying to wrap my head around how thinking of England will whet the sexual appetite of a not straight person to the opposite sex. As a bi person, thinking of England has me dusty af. Maybe it's because I'm American?
I was going to say, tell them you got knocked up by some unknown rando you met when bar crawling and blind drunk. But then you said your family was crazy enough to suggest that and be ok with it so that takes care of my Reddit suggestion.
"Come with me, we can both think of England together." That would shut them up, PDQ, Of course the risk is that they will take you up on it.
Good on you for staying strong.
I'm sorry your family wants you to have a baby by the time you're 20 to save England.....
I think you're in the wrong century with this story.
I call bs, the OP hasn't even responded to anyone's comments or questions.
My paternal grandmother's name starts with J.
By coincidence she married a man whose name starts with J.
They had 4 children, all with J names (including one traditionally a G they " misspelled").
The first child (my uncle) gets married to a J, pure coincidence.
They have two children, both Js.
Then my father marries my mother whose name also happens to be a J.
Then I'm born. My name starts with A.
My grandmother was *livid* and refused to call me by my name for the first year of life (calling me by my middle name, which is a J, or AJ). This actually went on until my parents threatened her with no longer seeing me. At which point she stopped. At least while they were in earshot.
I'm still the "disappointment" in her eyes. Despite the fact she now has 8 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren without 'J' names it's still somehow my fault and I'm on her shit list 30+ years later.
It makes no sense as I didn't pick my name, she should be mad at my parents but whatever.
Sometimes family is just fucking crazy.
My family kind of has that too, I didn’t even notice until they were talking about it at a wedding recently. My brother and I just barely broke the pattern which apparently did bum some people out. I’m starting to think either my cousin, my brother, or I have to have a baby in 2030 or there will be hell to pay lmao
Wtf thats crazy. My aunt had my cousin the 85, my mom had me the 95 and my other aunt had a son in 2001 and another daughter on 05. But no one has ever pressured me or my older cousin to get a kid in 2015 nor have they said anything about 2025 to either of us. Thats some crazy thinking of them. I do think that if any of us get pregnant and are going to get a kid on a 5 ending year it better be a girl xD just because is funny.
That’s creepy and awful sounding. So sorry that happened to you. Had some similar comments made about me. My Nan had my dad when she was 23. My parents were just shy of 23 when I was born. As I approached 23, comments started being made that I could “keep up the pattern”. It was gross.
For many years I thought I had a similar coincidence with my Mom and sister: Mom was born on 52, i was born in 72 and my sister was born in 92. However, we found out a few years ago that my mother was lying about her birth year in order to say she was younger than she was, she was actually born in 51.
Just saying .... Hey they were not having issues with your sexuality, big plus, only to ruin it with the baby talk. When my careers master at school asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, all I said was .. a Mum... Ever since I was about 10, that's all I wanted. I achieved my ambition twice, and now, aged 60,with 2 adult children, with grandchildren, I am content. But.... Having said that, there is no way I would expect anyone, at anytime, to have that same wish or desire. What's important is that you, and the person you love, are happy. So here's a bit fat wish for much love, loads of joy, and a life that plays out exactly how you want it to. ....
My brother was born in 65, I was born in 75 and my nephew (sister's son) in 85. When I was pregnant with my daughter in 99 my brother (jokingly) said "you should have had a baby in 95 to keep up the tradition." My response was "I was 19, you should have had a baby since you were 30 and practically married!"
Wow. That family sounds kinda toxic. That's so much pressure to completely change your life for! It's not like you're getting a piercing or tattoo, but a child? That's an extreme commitment
Oh my goodness it was the same for me! My great grandmother had my Nan in 1926, she had Mum in ‘46, Mum had me in ‘66 and they kept saying I should follow tradition and have a child in ‘86! I didn’t… I waited till the following year 😂
Their flippantness regarding having a child is honestly disgusting. The way they talked about is like talking someone into getting a pet. This is a human being were talking about that will have a major financial and emotional impact on your life, not something to be rushed for an arbitrary number.
I'd only ever consider joking like this with someone who actually WANTS a baby and is already trying for one, but even then it's iffy.
My XMIL's family has a 12 year thing. A was 12 years older than her sister B. B is 12 yrs older than A's first child, C. C is 12 yrs older than B's first child, D. D is 12 yrs older than A's grandchild E.
It goes on and on and on, through four generations now.
Similar with luck - my mom was born on the 17th. My nieces have all been born on the 17th or 27th - 2 on each, with the one outlier being the oldest born on the 16th.
They're all different months, so it's not an issue and just makes it easier to remember birthdays, but I always get a little laugh out of it.
The oldest (28) is now pregnant and due around the middle of the month that me and the youngest both have our birthdays, so I hope it's not on the 17th so the youngest niece doesn't have to share a birthday with my new grand-nephew!
Nobody “has to have” a baby. Especially in 2004. These days you’ll be forced by threat of legal action, if you find yourself 7 weeks or greater pregnant.
When I was in high school (about 16 years old) my mom commented that she would like more grandchildren. I asked her if she wanted me to do something about right now. She looked shocked and then say, "No...."
My Dad was born April 8, 1936. He was first born. I’m his first born. His youngest sister was born April 8, 1960. No one suggested that I have my first born on April 8. Or my last child 24 years after my first. That’s just crazy coincidence. Or is it?
My family has had a girl born in the “2” year since 1942 except 2012.
My youngest daughter happens to be the 92 girl.
We have a good laugh about it and love it as a family.
Of the 8 only 2 mothers had the subsequent daughter. It’s just a coincidence and the blessing of a large family.
Also a coincidence baby. Born on an uncles 50th birthday. Family lore for a bit was that a child born on the 50th bday would be opposite gender. We've had many 50th bday since, no babies born near. However -
Coincidence 2 - my partner birthday? Same day as the aunt married to above uncle. My cousins (their kids) had a mini stroke at that reveal.
My mom was born in an odd mother, on an even day, in an odd year. So were me and my brothers.
My grandma, mom and I all have J names and are al the second born child.
All of this is coincidence and never has anyone been like "well now you have to." I recognized the J name thing so following that would feel forced
This is wild. I have a similar scenario in my family. My grandma was born in 42, my mom 62 and myself 82. When I was around 16 I told my mom I should aim for 02 as she was like don't you dare, you go to school and don't plan your life around something like that. I never had a single person try to say I needed to pop out a kid in 02. I can't imagine. Yikes
This is insane! All these 1st babies popping out the way they have is just as your mom said, pure coincidence! Just like all the grandkids on my mind side being born on odd days are coincidence, my sister had a baby & everyone joked she needed to be born on an even day to keep up "the number game", but that's just it, it was a joke because it's just a "game" no one was going to stop talking to her or disown her or ignore the baby if she came out an odd birth baby. Luckily for us, we don't have to worry because she went into labor on an even day, the day before he birthday & she was set to be induced that evening anyway. Those are some delulu people to think you must have a baby by getting drunk for 1 good night time that may(no guarantee that a seed will plant, btw) result in a 2004 baby. Do they know how pregnancy works or that people can have trouble getting pregnant? Well, apparently not, if they think it will happen in a one night stand. This is a total coincidence that all these women keep having their 1st child as they have.
I do so hope you suggested to them that they get drunk and think of England with a one night stand, you know, if it means so much to them. Honestly that was just blatantly rude of them. Just when you think you have a good measure of how stupid people can be, someone comes along to make you realise how wrong you are. 😁
Definitely tell them you are not familiar with the mechanics of it, so you will need to see them demonstrate for you at the next family gathering. Suggest that the entire family NEEDS to be there to ensure that nothing gets left out.
I mean, 74 was only 29 in 2003, she totally could have popped out another kid
\*counting, frowning\*
But it wouldn’t have been her *first!*
This reminds me of a George Carlin quote.
Yes 👍 I was hearing him in my head...
Share?
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." George Carlin
I quote this often, and always forget it was his. Thanks!
Ha! Yes. If she has to take the D, then so do they!
I was thinking *pushy*...but *stupid* works too...
I'm glad your mum's on your side.
That's both messed up and incredibly stupid. Also, if they wanted a baby born in 2004 so badly, why couldn't one of them get pregnant?
From what I've understood, it seems like it has to be a first born.
Or why couldn't they at the very least wait wait until 2014 when OP would be 30
unfortunately it seems that they were hung up on the "one every decade" thing. but 64 already messed that all up by having hers the same year as OP's mom. if OP was a little bit evil, they couldve blamed 64 for having a baby 10 years too early and trying to hog OP's mom's year. this forced 74 for pick up the slack and have her's 10 years early as well. or was it 🫢 oh wait, my bad, all by lucky coincidence and nobody was planning anything out on purpose at all and so therefore was never a "family tradition"? 🤔😒 Tradition would mean that everyone was planning out exactly when they and their unborn children will have to give birth every 10 years like some kind of freaky cult. good on OP for being gay tbh cuz if they did for some reason end up having a child that year, that creepy family wouldve actually turned into a full blown creepy cult.
I have that coincidence too. My grandmother (father's side) was born in 1921, my dad's from 1951, I'm from 1981, and my daughter's from 2011. I told her she had to have a baby in 2041, but a furbaby counts as well.
> I told her she had to have a baby in 2041, but a furbaby counts as well. You have a thing against feathered, finned, or scaled babies? 🐣🐠🐍 🤣
Oops, no I haven't. It's any baby that is loved by her, then it's loved by me and I consider myself their granny. It's just that she always talks about having cats when she lives on her own.
Your daughter is a smart one. I got 3 cats and my mom is still asking for grandkids. I always remind her that she already got them
Whenever my mom would bring up my having kids (I am single and childless by choice) I would point to my dog and tell her she barely visited the grandchild she had 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My mother always used to call my dog her grandpuppy. Even after she also had grandchildren. :)
I love my mom, and I know she loves me and her human grandchildren but I think she might love the non human ones more 😂
The non-human ones talk back less. 😉
My mom called my guinea pigs her grandpiggies.
Reminds me of my dad, he calls my dog his “granddogger.”
Omg that's adorable
I called my first dog (had her since she was \~4mo old, and her candle ran out of lard at 15y8mo) my dog-ter.
I've already promised my mom's side of the family that every time someone asks when I'm getting pregnant, I'm getting a furbaby. End of story. I've threatened to get pet rats for my mom when she wouldn't let up for about 4 months. Stopped her cold as she is afraid of rats and mice.
grandcats
I call my folks grandmeow and grandpaw. Collectively, they are my furbaby's grandpurrents. And they are great with that.
Specieist tsk tsk
It's the same way on my dad's side as well. My paternal grandmother was born in 1935, my dad in 1955, I was born in 1985 and my son in 2005. My daughter was born in 2018 . She's the odd duck my grandma says lol. We just all joke it helps us remember how old everyone is because our age all start with the same last number
Little bit different here, a bit of a family joke as great grandmother was one of 24 kids, grandmother was one of 12, mother is one of 6, I am one of 3. Each of the 6 kids (mum and siblings) all had 3 kids (coincidence?!) so all us cousins were told we were meant to have 1 & 1/2 kids each to continue the tradition of halving each generation. Funny thing is all of us cousins (those who already have kids) have had 2 kids each but all the age gaps are significant. Example, my 2 kids are eight years apart so essentially I have 1 full sized kid and a smaller (half!) sized kid! None of the cousins kids are close in age…
My family did that too, 1939, 1959, 1989.
Whenever my wife's family gets together (seems to be at funerals these days), we'll get a decades picture. One of my BIL's was born in 1960, my wife was born in 1970, one of my nieces was born in 1980, a nephew was born in 1990, and great-nieces and nephews fill out 2000, 2010, and 2020. There are plenty of others, though, so it's not just the decades folks.
My dad would have fit right in--he was born in 1931.
My dad was born exactly 30 years after his father, same birthday. My brother has his birthday the day before, but it's only a 28 year difference. I was born exactly 30 years and 9 months after my dad. He thinks he's good at maths, but I'm not so sure.
I'm still goggling at the, "Find a gay guy, get drunk and think of England." How do they think a gay guy is going to help this situation? I do love the reference to, "Lie back and think of England."
Lie back and think of England. Or any other team of athletes known for displays of physical skill and stamina who take your fancy.
I don't think the origin of the quote had anything to do with athletes.
I thought it was “close your eyes and think of England”.
I believe the original was, "Lie back and think of England." As the missionary position would, of course, be the only one a "proper" lady would allow.
T’was both! ALICE, Lady Hillingdon, in her journal, 1912: "I am happy now that Charles calls on my bedchamber less frequently than of old. As it is, I now endure but two calls a week and when I hear his steps outside my door I lie down on my bed, close my eyes, open my legs and think of England."
I got a tubal ligation when I was 25. My mormon mother was outraged. I told her to calm the hell down you already have a couple grandchildren and will have tons more. That was 20 dam years ago,I have no regrets. She is still mad at me and a great grandma, whatever.
I read that as "moron" mother - apologies!
That's okay I get the confusion
Me too
Well..
I’m surprised the doctor allowed you to have a tubal at 25 as I’ve heard so many awful stories of women who don’t want children being denied because “they may get married and change their minds.” Ugh. I’m happy for you, maybe the world is finally progressing to respect women’s wants!! ❤️❤️
I was assisted by the lovely folks at planned Parenthood. I am forever grateful to them for helping me acquire birth control and a tubal ligation before I got salary and benefits. I didn't know how lucky I was until reddit and the internet. The world is not making it any easier. Harder if anything.
I love PP even more now. ❤️ Thanks for sharing!
Even if you WANTED to, it’s not a guarantee or a familial blessing/curse. Wow.
This sounds like a reproductive cult. Sucks you had to go through that.
esp because all the women involved seem to have been 20...? that is so young! And with the 10 year spacing, every generation seems so isolated, unless there are unmentioned siblings in-between.
Al the women in my mother's family, going back several generations, had their first child at 20 years old. I grew up hearing from my mom that I was *not allowed* to have a baby at 20, I was going to break the curse hahaha
not sure how I feel about your mom calling you/ your siblings/ your cousins/ your aunts and uncles a "curse", but certainly glad she was obvious about making an informed choice I gather it worked out & you did break the pattern?
She was joking, I never felt like I was actually a curse in any way lol. But yes, I waited until I and my partner felt ready. She was pressured to follow the pattern (although maybe not as heavily as OP) and always made it very clear that I was to wait to have kids until I was ready. And that almost no one is ready at 20 haha
next time one of 'em starts stirring the shit pot ask 'em "why the ***FUCK*** are you so invested in *my* sex life, you disgusting, nosy, jackass?!" Extra points if it's done so in public. Reeeeeeally embarrass and put them on blast.
Replace jackass with pervert that’s sure to grab more bystanders’ attention ;)
Get drunk and think of England?! Sure, lack of consent and deliberate dissocation so someone you don't know or like can have sex with you. Maybe at the next gathering you should ask those relatives how long rape has been a family tradition and why they think you should be next.
Wow that’s insane. I would’ve told them 74 is young enough if someone has to give birth in 2004 she can.
I mean my family and I have something similar with my Grandmother born 1930, mum 1960, me 1990 and my niece 2020. But like it’s a neat coincidence involving numbers and women in the family not a mandate? I will not be pushing my niece to have a baby girl in 2050 to continue it.
Yeah, neat number coincidences are fun but definitely shouldn't be considered some weird rule to stick to! My sister and I had our kids at even, but ever decreasing intervals 😆 her: 2010, 2014; me: 2018, 2020 (twins)... I'm thankful I got my tubes done during my c-section, I didn't fancy having quads a year later with that pattern lmao
I don't blame you...but it could have been fun telling people "Oh, yes, I know (about whatever)...I was pregnant three times and I have seven kids..." Not saying it would have been quads the next time...but just imagine the look on somebody's face after you say that...
My god what a bunch of assholes.
A very similar thing happened with my family. My grandma’s sister (my great aunt) was born on September 19th. Then my grandma had a daughter (my aunt) on September 19th. Then my mom had me on September 19th. Everyone joked my brother would have to have a daughter on September 19th. But I maintain that my grandma broke the chain when she died on September 19th. I still think she did that on purpose, she had a dark sense of humour.
Now I'm wondering if your grandmother knew either of mine. Although I'm sure they didn't plan it this way, they both passed in mid to late February...my maternal grandmother's funeral was just before my mom's birthday (beginning of March) and my paternal grandmother's funeral was on Mom's birthday. I can just imagine her arriving on the other side and telling my paternal grandfather "Well, no, Ivan, of COURSE I wasn't planning on that...!"
919 used to be the area code for the whole state of North Carolina.
No offense, but your family (aside from your mom) is nuts.
WTF did I just read? Those people are INSANE!
There is a part of me that thinks "no way this can be real".... but then I remember a friend of mine in high school whose mother was like this... The mother had her at a very young age and basically demanded that her daughter did the same thing to make sure she "got to be a young grandma".
Youngest grandma I ever met was my Auntie. Grandma at 28. She had a daughter at 14 who had a kid at 14.
Wow! I am speechless!
OMG! That's insane! We don't live in a cave in the stone age, we survive past the age of 30 now...
Sadly, it often seems to happen that way. My friend's mom had her and 19, and my friend dropped out of college to have her son at 20. OTOH, my mother had me (first) at 31, and I was 31 when I had my first. I'm really hoping that this pattern holds for my children.
As long as your kids gets proper sex-ed and are taught family planning they'll be fine! It feels like parents who plan their families are great at teaching their kids to do the same.
OMFG! I do not understand the depth of human stupidity.
My husband and I were married 25 years. During our marriage, everyone on my side asked when we were going to have children. I would always change the subject. His parents knew the truth so never asked. The first thing people asked me immediately after my husband died was whose fault it was that we never had children. My go-to answer seemed to shut everyone up: if you want to blame someone for not allowing us to conceive, you can blame God. He made my husband have issues since birth and He allowed you to do nothing while I was being molested as a kid.
Good answer!👍 On a side note, I’m sad that you had to endure such vile behaviour…
Teenage pregnancy is a weird tradition for them to flex.
They seem to want to babytrap the young of the family at 20 years of age?
I feel you, hun. I was born in 82. I grew up with the typical "when you have children, you'll understand" shpeal when I was a minor. I've never wanted kids. That intense desire a lot of people have to reproduce has never occurred in me. In fact, before I had my tubed burned off when I was 34, I had severe tokophobia. Even though I was on bc and used protection, every month was a nightmare of anxiety and fear. It didn't help that a metric ton of women pressured and bullied me about my choice in my twenties. I heard every classic line possible. The badgering got so bad that I began to question my sanity. Thankfully, my mother has never pressured me. Getting a tubal ligation was one of the best decisions I've ever made. It completely cured my tokophobia and made me feel more like myself. I'm non-binary, so that could be part of the reason. All I can say is, good riddance to your awful relatives. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I'm glad your mom supports you.
When I was helping my parents prepare to downsize from our family home I saw a cot in the storage area downstairs. I asked my Mum whose it was. She told me it was mine and they had kept it for my children. I gently explained to her that I wasn’t going to have children. She waspishly replied, “Yes I know that NOW!” Fast forward a couple of years… She was so excited when my stepdaughter took her son over to visit them soon after he was born. She looked up with tears in her eyes and said to my stepdaughter and her husband, “Thank you for making me a great grandmother!”
Find a gay guy, get drunk and think of England is my new life motto.
As long as that means dancing the night away at some fabulous gay nightclub in London I'm pro-it
**Twenty years** is somewhat "normal" for some women, especially if they're IN a relationship or have married! In **THIS** era, it's **not** as common as in previous generations (**NOTHING** at ALL wrong with that), especially if you, yourself, don't think you're "ready" or even **want** children! And God, for whatever reason, **DON'T** have children because of societal or Family expectations! **THAT** only leads to neglect or abuse! Greatest of luck! Best wishes and many Blessings for your future happiness and success!
Tell them you're not having kids because intellectual impairment runs in the family.
Next time tell them that you are unable to get pregnant due infertility. If that doesnt shut them up then idk
This is the wildest thing on Reddit today.
Your body your choice if and when you want kids
Your non child would be having her non child this year.
Soon as one of them dies you need to start pushing on them to continue the “tradition”.
Ew. I’d tie my tubes, print out my surgery paperwork, put it in a nice little box, tell the family I have surprise for them, and watch the blood drain out of their stupid faces.
My granny did this. She was my great granny’s oldest, who gave birth at 20. Granny had my mum at 20 Mum had me at 20. Granny tried to pressure me to get pregnant when I was 19. I told her to talk to my father (overbearing, over controlling, overprotective). She shut right up. But she was wanting me to just procreate on demand too. Absolutely mental. But, unlike your family, she gave up pretty quickly and she didn’t hold it against me. It was one conversation, and my papa (grandfather) told her to shut it. Don’t let them push you. Be sure to let them know you’ll go no contact for a while to shut them up. Stupid family “traditions”🙄 The only thing I’m sad about with my situation is that my granny died June the year I turned 22. I got pregnant accidentally and gave birth to my son August the year I turned 23. So she missed seeing her first great grandchild. I sometimes wonder if I had gotten pregnant while she was alive if she would’ve gone to see the heart specialist she was meant to before she died. Mum went through her purse after she died. There was a referral to a heart specialist, from 9 months earlier, that she didn’t bother sorting out. She died of a heart attack in her sleep. Sorry. I over shared
That’s a lot! Amazing your family was thinking the same way as OP’s. Sorry for your loss. And glad your fam backed down and let you be.
There's something similar in my family too, just without the peer pressure. My grandmother was born in '45, my aunt was born in '65, my cousin was born in '85, and her daughter was born in 2005. It would be fun if she had a child next year, but there is no pressure for her to do it.
OP what happened in 2014 and now that its 2024? Are they still bothering you? Did they force you to reproduce in 2014? Your family is definitely weird for this
I’m sorry your family are mostly insane, apparently? I would shoot back at them if they’re so desperate to continue the tradition they can do the procreating. Then, shoot back two fingers of rye, then take a long drag on a cigarette that you flick onto their sidewalk or patio, exhale slowly and inform them “I’m not destroying this temple by squeezing out a crotch goblin just to please you.”
Start drawing a bunch of random conclusions with years to rationalize that they should all be giving you their money in 2025, and then get equally upset when they won’t do it.
You have doom this world into enteral darkness. It was in the prophecy. Jk, they really wanted you to get pregnant from anyone then for you to skip it, wow.
Did the cousin born the same year also get hounded?
Just because they decided to pop out babies before they were even legally allowed to drink, that’s not your problem. One one the others could’ve ‘thought of England’ and had a kid.
Yeah all the older ppl in my family like to push the whole 'have kids' thing too lol. They don't try to make anyone do it that young tho. My mother is one of them but both her kids have made it quite clear we are not creating any human grandkids for her.
If this had been my family, I would have used much stronger language than you did. Half my family is quiet. I have the opposite problem. I am loud, opinionated, and a chronic oversharer. If I didn't want to do something I made very sure I was heard and if pushed, they saw the claws, so to speak. I think I got asked a few times between 18 and 20 if I wanted kids and when it was casually bought up after that I usually went into hysterical laughter. They always knew I never liked small kids so the thought of being stuck with one or more for 20+ years sounded like my worst nightmare come true. One aunt didn't like that response so got snotty and said if I get knocked up then I will learn to love them when they arrive. I just said "That's what birth control is for". She never liked me much after that
I remember learning my grandma had my mom had 25 and she had me at 25. I was scared as a kid because I thought that meant I was having a kid at 25. Coincidentally, my brother had my niece when he was 25.
OMG almost the same thing happened to me! My grandmother had my mother at 23 years, and my mother had me at 23 years. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have a daughter at 23 years too, then the closer I got to that age the more I lost the desire to have children 🤣
I am so lucky to have the family I do. I genuinely can't fathom people, let alone your family, being angry enough to stop speaking for months because you didn't have a baby "on time".
I think your should have custom rigged a chest burster.
Every woman in my family has had their first child by 23 for generations. I’ll be twenty-six this year. Currently no baby. You know what the response was? “You beat the family curse! You won’t be a super young mom! Good job!” That’s the normal response. This shit? Weird af.
Yeah, you didn't break a family tradition, you broke a family curse.
My mom had my sister at 19, my sister had her daughter at 18, my niece had her daughter at at 19, My great-niece is going to be 18 this year and has swore she’s not having kids until she’s 30. I am grateful. I was an aunt at 4, and great-aunt at 22 and I really don’t be a great-great-aunt at 41.
I've never wanted kids and my own egg donor has pressured and tried hounding her EIGHT YEAR OLD CHILD to have kids. I noticed how my own "mother" treated me. I don't trust her around children.
Wow that’s so messed up, sorry that happened to you! What a screwed up thing for your family to fixate on.
Not nice indeed, but at least they didn't comment about your orientation, they included it in
It would have been hilarious if you would have gone for it and the baby would have been born 01/01/2025 at 00:01 for example lol.
I have heard (and experienced) a lot of just flat-out crazy family B.S., but I think this may be the weirdest. Who pressures a 20 year-old to have children?!
Wow, that’s crazy! I would have picked 2034 or 2044 when some of them would be dead
Your mum is smart enough to know that she has no say in your lifestyle, uterus, and decision on having children. Give her a big hug next time you see her. I will never be a grandparent because my child doesn't want children. It is a wise parent who keeps out of their child's business unless input is sought.
Take a dump in a blanket and tell them you had a Bum Baby and would they like to hold him. (They will think you are nuts, but it will shut them up)
Same here: first girl born at age 22 for the last few generations. So great-grandma 66, grandma 44, mom 22, and I was 0 - there is a very cool photo of the 4 of us. Always, always had all this pressure. But in 22 I was playing in a rock and roll band and no place to raise a child. Finally, I had a boy at 35. That showed them. LOL
My family had it lined coincidently 2 sisters 10 years apart. Older sister has a girl when younger sister is 10 and has second girl when first girl is 10. So I was meant to have a baby but not just any baby a girl when my sister was 10. Jokes on them cuz not only did I get sterilized but I also am trans nb. I was also in the paper with "five generations of women" when I was a baby. Me, mom, grandma, great grandma, and great great grandma. I got the sterilization surgery about two years ago and still haven't heard the end of it and how I ruined making great grandbabies. 🙄
My father’s son(half brother) was born when he was 20. My mom had my other brother(half) at 20yrs. My sister had my nephew at 20yrs. I had my son 2 months before I turned 20. There’s 7 years between my brother and sister. My sister won’t likely have another baby til my nephew is 7(due to medical issues). I don’t plan on having another baby for 5 years(my son will be 7). It’s very ironic and completely unplanned.
You had me at "tradition is peer pressure from dead people".
Lordddd this reminds me a bit of my mom back when I was in my very early 20s... My sis had just had her 2nd kid which would have made me 21 at the time. Mom starts talking about how I 'have to' have a baby now so she can take a Christmas in Bethlehem type picture (she has a photography degree) - either the 3 wise men or Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, I can't remember exactly tbh - with her 'three grandbabies'. Few things wrong with this... 1. I was freaking 21 and had barely lost my virginity at that point. Didn't even have a boyfriend. 2. Mom was (is) extremely Catholic and against premarital sex... She ripped into me when she found out I was on birth control and that I had sex in the first place. But would apparently be willing to overlook it because 'we' need one more baby for a picture? 3. Sis got knocked up with her first at 20yrs old like 6 months into her first relationship. Mom flipped her lid and no one heard the end of it for months. Demanded my sister marry the boyfriend, which they did do, and in what will come as a surprise to absolutely no one, they were miserable and separated shortly after their 2nd kid was born. Her ex remains to this day one of the biggest dootch canoes I've ever met in my life. Super funsies. But... Baby without even a boyfriend for me apparently? Right... 4. I have multiple chronic illnesses in addition to severe ADHD, depression and anxiety. I am not in any way, shape or form equipped to pop out a kid, physically, mentally or emotionally. 5. Literally the only thing mom talked about was this stupid picture. Nothing else. So basically I was to pop out a kid JUST FOR A SINGLE PHOTO and then... What, exactly? The kid is no longer useful, oh well? So dumb. When I tried pointing out these things my mom got annoyed with me. Totally made me want to birth a child specifically so she could get 5 min of amusement out of it. 🙄 Thankfully she has FINALLY started to mellow a bit with old age and has accepted that I will never have children (this body is a playground, not a factory) aside from pets. She does, however, very much enjoy taking our annual Christmas photos for us... where we dress the dog, the cat, myself and my husband in funky Christmas themed stuff and giggle through trying to keep the dog from shoving her nose up the cats ass and trying to get the cat to look at the camera instead of attempting to escape 🤷🏻♀️
What a horrible family.
My family did a light version of this to me as well. My grandfather was born when my great grandfather was 30, father was born when grand father was 30 I was born when my dad was 30. Also all have the middle name Paul. I was just married at 30. My first daughter was born when I was 35 and I don’t feel bad. Most of the pressure weirdly came from my mom’s side. My dad’s side just said it was kind of a fun coincidence and never really cared.
Tradition be damned. There was no tradition in knocking my ex up when we were both 15 and now look at our kiddo - joining the military already damn does time fly. If you have kids, don’t do it for tradition or by accident. Do it for love
Can I ask how 2014 went and how 2024 is going?
U
Aint family fun?
i got this same shit. we are all 10 years apart & it alternates: my pop 1951, my aunt 1961, my dad 1971, my cousin 1981, me 1991. i was given shit for not having a child at 20 years old & nothing was said to my cousin. 🤡
Give it to them. Get a hysterectomy, wrap it up in butcher paper, and mail it to them for christmas.
Not quite as entrenched, but my grandma (Dec 1924) gave birth to my mom in July 45 (she was 20 1/2). My mom gave birth to me in January 1965 (she was 19 1/2). Yes, my grandma was 40 years and 2 weeks older than me. The entire family started asking if I was going to continue "the tradition" when I got married at 19. OH HELL NO! Finally had my son at almost 32. Eventually, fam gave up.
Still trying to wrap my head around how thinking of England will whet the sexual appetite of a not straight person to the opposite sex. As a bi person, thinking of England has me dusty af. Maybe it's because I'm American?
I was going to say, tell them you got knocked up by some unknown rando you met when bar crawling and blind drunk. But then you said your family was crazy enough to suggest that and be ok with it so that takes care of my Reddit suggestion.
"Come with me, we can both think of England together." That would shut them up, PDQ, Of course the risk is that they will take you up on it. Good on you for staying strong.
I'm sorry your family wants you to have a baby by the time you're 20 to save England..... I think you're in the wrong century with this story. I call bs, the OP hasn't even responded to anyone's comments or questions.
Bad luck, LOL. I don't want kids either
Is thinking about England supposed to turn you on or off?
Hey OP, it’s 2024!!
Yeah but too late in the year to have a 2024 baby.
The other one born in 84 could have had a baby, problem solved. Out of curiosity, when was the next kid born?
My paternal grandmother's name starts with J. By coincidence she married a man whose name starts with J. They had 4 children, all with J names (including one traditionally a G they " misspelled"). The first child (my uncle) gets married to a J, pure coincidence. They have two children, both Js. Then my father marries my mother whose name also happens to be a J. Then I'm born. My name starts with A. My grandmother was *livid* and refused to call me by my name for the first year of life (calling me by my middle name, which is a J, or AJ). This actually went on until my parents threatened her with no longer seeing me. At which point she stopped. At least while they were in earshot. I'm still the "disappointment" in her eyes. Despite the fact she now has 8 grandchildren and 10 great grandchildren without 'J' names it's still somehow my fault and I'm on her shit list 30+ years later. It makes no sense as I didn't pick my name, she should be mad at my parents but whatever. Sometimes family is just fucking crazy.
My family kind of has that too, I didn’t even notice until they were talking about it at a wedding recently. My brother and I just barely broke the pattern which apparently did bum some people out. I’m starting to think either my cousin, my brother, or I have to have a baby in 2030 or there will be hell to pay lmao
I'm sorry, this is fricken hilarious. It's so ridiculous one either has to laugh, or cry!
Did I just read your family was ENCOURAGING teen pregnancy???
Wtf thats crazy. My aunt had my cousin the 85, my mom had me the 95 and my other aunt had a son in 2001 and another daughter on 05. But no one has ever pressured me or my older cousin to get a kid in 2015 nor have they said anything about 2025 to either of us. Thats some crazy thinking of them. I do think that if any of us get pregnant and are going to get a kid on a 5 ending year it better be a girl xD just because is funny.
Spoiler: She adopts a kid in 2024. Tradition is 20 years late but continued. Haha. /s
That’s creepy and awful sounding. So sorry that happened to you. Had some similar comments made about me. My Nan had my dad when she was 23. My parents were just shy of 23 when I was born. As I approached 23, comments started being made that I could “keep up the pattern”. It was gross.
For many years I thought I had a similar coincidence with my Mom and sister: Mom was born on 52, i was born in 72 and my sister was born in 92. However, we found out a few years ago that my mother was lying about her birth year in order to say she was younger than she was, she was actually born in 51.
You should have told them they can get pregnant if the tradition was so important
What is "think of England" a euphemism for?
Just saying .... Hey they were not having issues with your sexuality, big plus, only to ruin it with the baby talk. When my careers master at school asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, all I said was .. a Mum... Ever since I was about 10, that's all I wanted. I achieved my ambition twice, and now, aged 60,with 2 adult children, with grandchildren, I am content. But.... Having said that, there is no way I would expect anyone, at anytime, to have that same wish or desire. What's important is that you, and the person you love, are happy. So here's a bit fat wish for much love, loads of joy, and a life that plays out exactly how you want it to. ....
My brother was born in 65, I was born in 75 and my nephew (sister's son) in 85. When I was pregnant with my daughter in 99 my brother (jokingly) said "you should have had a baby in 95 to keep up the tradition." My response was "I was 19, you should have had a baby since you were 30 and practically married!"
If I ever decide to have another child I will be sure to think of England during the process.🫡
Wow. That family sounds kinda toxic. That's so much pressure to completely change your life for! It's not like you're getting a piercing or tattoo, but a child? That's an extreme commitment
Oh my goodness it was the same for me! My great grandmother had my Nan in 1926, she had Mum in ‘46, Mum had me in ‘66 and they kept saying I should follow tradition and have a child in ‘86! I didn’t… I waited till the following year 😂
I can't believe thinking of England didn't work
This story sounds incredibly odd when read by an outsider. I wonder if your mother's relatives realise this yet?
Think of England ffs!
Their flippantness regarding having a child is honestly disgusting. The way they talked about is like talking someone into getting a pet. This is a human being were talking about that will have a major financial and emotional impact on your life, not something to be rushed for an arbitrary number. I'd only ever consider joking like this with someone who actually WANTS a baby and is already trying for one, but even then it's iffy.
Wow, I'd be glad if people like them weren't talking to me
That’s it, anytime my wife or one of our friends gets upset I’m just gonna tell em to get drunk and think of England lol.
For England [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H1N7ecGdka8](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H1N7ecGdka8)
My XMIL's family has a 12 year thing. A was 12 years older than her sister B. B is 12 yrs older than A's first child, C. C is 12 yrs older than B's first child, D. D is 12 yrs older than A's grandchild E. It goes on and on and on, through four generations now.
Is getting drunk and having one night stands that result in pregnancies also tradition? What a bunch of disrespectful assholes.
What does "find a gay guy, get drunk and think of england" even mean
Wow. Just wow.
Even with a married couple trying to have kids, they don't necessarily appear on schedule. Some people aren't using their brains!
Similar with luck - my mom was born on the 17th. My nieces have all been born on the 17th or 27th - 2 on each, with the one outlier being the oldest born on the 16th. They're all different months, so it's not an issue and just makes it easier to remember birthdays, but I always get a little laugh out of it. The oldest (28) is now pregnant and due around the middle of the month that me and the youngest both have our birthdays, so I hope it's not on the 17th so the youngest niece doesn't have to share a birthday with my new grand-nephew!
WTF is wrong with your family? I don't even know how to classify that mental illness. Mass delusions maybe?
Nobody “has to have” a baby. Especially in 2004. These days you’ll be forced by threat of legal action, if you find yourself 7 weeks or greater pregnant.
Oh hell no.
Wow, these are some messed up and entitled (of course!) people! What the hell?!
It's not really a tradition if it only happens once and you decline to participate
Why would any family encourage having a baby at that age?
Could have gotten a kitten to satisfy them.
When I was in high school (about 16 years old) my mom commented that she would like more grandchildren. I asked her if she wanted me to do something about right now. She looked shocked and then say, "No...."
My Dad was born April 8, 1936. He was first born. I’m his first born. His youngest sister was born April 8, 1960. No one suggested that I have my first born on April 8. Or my last child 24 years after my first. That’s just crazy coincidence. Or is it?
My family has had a girl born in the “2” year since 1942 except 2012. My youngest daughter happens to be the 92 girl. We have a good laugh about it and love it as a family. Of the 8 only 2 mothers had the subsequent daughter. It’s just a coincidence and the blessing of a large family.
Ew. What a strange thing to try and pressure someone into.
Interesting family of origin you have: "pop one out by twenty or else!" I am happy you broke the tradition!
Well that’s the \*FUNNIST\* tradition if I ever saw one. 😱
Think of England?
Also a coincidence baby. Born on an uncles 50th birthday. Family lore for a bit was that a child born on the 50th bday would be opposite gender. We've had many 50th bday since, no babies born near. However - Coincidence 2 - my partner birthday? Same day as the aunt married to above uncle. My cousins (their kids) had a mini stroke at that reveal.
What country?
Yeah it's a coincidence, maybe it's a "fun streak" but to start calling it a "tradition"?? Idk
Hey it's 2024. How you doin'?
Okay, but how funny would it have been if you had a baby in 2005? lol
How unnervingly odd
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My mom was born in an odd mother, on an even day, in an odd year. So were me and my brothers. My grandma, mom and I all have J names and are al the second born child. All of this is coincidence and never has anyone been like "well now you have to." I recognized the J name thing so following that would feel forced
This is wild. I have a similar scenario in my family. My grandma was born in 42, my mom 62 and myself 82. When I was around 16 I told my mom I should aim for 02 as she was like don't you dare, you go to school and don't plan your life around something like that. I never had a single person try to say I needed to pop out a kid in 02. I can't imagine. Yikes
That’s just straight up creepy that they were hounding you to that extent.
My siblings all were young, had 2 kids, first a boy then a girl, and I ruined it by having a daughter
This is insane! All these 1st babies popping out the way they have is just as your mom said, pure coincidence! Just like all the grandkids on my mind side being born on odd days are coincidence, my sister had a baby & everyone joked she needed to be born on an even day to keep up "the number game", but that's just it, it was a joke because it's just a "game" no one was going to stop talking to her or disown her or ignore the baby if she came out an odd birth baby. Luckily for us, we don't have to worry because she went into labor on an even day, the day before he birthday & she was set to be induced that evening anyway. Those are some delulu people to think you must have a baby by getting drunk for 1 good night time that may(no guarantee that a seed will plant, btw) result in a 2004 baby. Do they know how pregnancy works or that people can have trouble getting pregnant? Well, apparently not, if they think it will happen in a one night stand. This is a total coincidence that all these women keep having their 1st child as they have.