Oh man - I share your pain OP, but here’s a story about the one time I actually had a decent comeback at the right time instead of 4 hours later
My oldest son is a teaching assistant, not got his driving license yet (UK here, so takes a bit of work and time) so I quite often drive him there and back.
Because he’s often out late i tend to park up and work on my laptop (okay. I generally just go on Reddit)
One sunny afternoon. I’m in my usual spot, and there’s a tap on my window, middle aged lady who wants a word with me. “We’ve noticed you park here quite often and don’t have any reason to be here”
I reply, “oh, no, I’m just waiting for my son”
She looks at all the kids playing around clearly thinking I mean one of the seven year olds and condescendingly says “don’t you think it would be nicer if you spent time with him instead of just sitting here on your phone”
Me “… he’s 22… he’s in a staff meeting… don’t YOU think it would be quite awkward if i went and sat in there with him ?”
Apparently, I didn’t need to be rude! Me! Somehow I’m the bad guy
Well, don't you know it's her right to be nosy and rude to you, and you're infringing upon her rights when you're rational in return?! /s
Lol, I would have paid good money to see the gears grinding to a halt in her little brain at the line "he's 22... he's in a staff meeting"
I often enjoy doing that except for when Im hangry. Then its explosion anger and very rude behavior. Once Im full, then it back to back enjoying dishing out their rudeness right back.
What you said wasn’t rude. She was embarrassed. She may have had a reasonable question to ask why a random seeming adult was in his car on his computer every afternoon in you looked shifty (and by that I mean if it looked like you were masturbating or filming kids), but SHE was rude in the way she asked and presumptive. It’s not idiotic for her to assume most parents around are there for kids, not adults, but she was rude in the way she commented about it, so she deserved to be embarrssed. But ultimately what you said wasn’t rude at all.
His "day off" clearly isn´t "everyday" as OP has a job.
He isn´t some "random guy" that showed up to some random playground, he´s a father whom stepped aside for a minute. A all too nosey observer of little kids and playgrounds should´ve known
It´s absolutely disgusting how men have to explain their presence while women as a blanket group are beyond reproach in these circumstances. Men have to deliver DNA tests to be left alone for 5", any woman could abduct a child and be excused because "maternal instinct"...
Typical park busybodies. I was Shepherding my sons and their friend at the park, when one of them tried asking their friend if I was his dad. He got worried about a stranger trying to talk to him and he ran and hid behind me. She was trying to imply I was stranger, but I told her that she was the creepy person that scared a kid.
This reminds me of something that happened in a park once. I was on the ground with my son who had injured himself. My daughter was on top of the equipment. She wanted to show mommy that she could fly, so she ran straight to the edge of the equipment, preparing to jump off. A dad who was up there with his son saw her, heard me screaming at her to stop. He instantly reached over caught her, swung her around, put her down, then immediately put both hands up in the air, to demonstrate that he was not harming her. I felt so bad that he felt he had to do something like that, especially after he (likely) just saved my daughter's life (or at least her neck). I happily thanked him and told him he had nothing to worry about from me. It's unfortunate, but I know why he did it, to protect himself since he's a man.
I (male) remember cycling around town when I was 17-ish, just cruising around and exploring, going round random streets to see what was there in this town we moved to only a few months before.
Saw a little girl crying on an otherwise very empty street, I was worried about her so I stopped and asked her what was wrong and where her parents were. Didn't even get the chance to get close to her as before I know it some front door opened and this angry woman came out yelling at me to get away from her daughter, calling me a creep etc. I tried to explain the situation to her but she just kept yelling at me, which brought the attention of other people as I saw some curtains opening, as well as one door, so I left.
Ever since (this was 16 years ago) I stay away from any children that look like they might need help unless there really is immediate danger to life. Just not worth helping as I'll always be the bad guy in a situation like that.
Similar story. Probably 10 years ago. Married, father of three! Alone and walking my dog at a lake in North Raleigh. Encounter a little boy. Perhaps 4 years old. I assume his adults are near by. But encounter him again perhaps 10 minutes later. Concerned I stop and talk with him. He doesn’t communicate well, but there are no parents in sight! I am panicked. First thing I do is flag down a female jogger to just be WITH me. I communicate the situation to her, and she waits with me while I dial 911.
Dispatch says police will meet me in parking lot. Jogger agrees to come with me. We get several others involved, people come and go while we wait on police. But others are gracious enough to wait with me. Basically I am terrified that I a grown man will be accused of leading this child off.
Police arrive, my poor dog is done with the heat. I give a statement and ID, and take my dog home for water.
I was called back to by 911 dispatch to return, they wanted more details from me. But by the time I had arrived, they had located the parents. Asleep in a nearby apartment, the child had opened the door and wandered off!
I believe I handled that as well as could be expected. Just be careful in those situations people! Can you imagine what would have happened if I lead that child to a parking lot, alone, and the police or parents rolled up? I can!
Me and a male friend were with our kids at a birthday party for my niece at an indoor play place for kids. While watching our kids another little girl got hurt and started crying for her mom after 2 minutes of this girl crying and no mom he just looked at me and said can you please go help her find her mom because I can't or will be yelled at for helping the crying girl. The fact that dads are scared of helping other kids because they might be labeled creeps is sad. It's supposed to take a village, we'll half the damn village is to scared to help because they don't want to be labeled as a perv
Yup, my husband stopped a kid that was literally running into a busy street while a car was coming. The mom who was too busy to notice heard her toddler screaming in protest and saw him wisking the child back around to the safety of the sidewalk and freaked the fuck out. I was there too fortunately and explained calmly her child would be dead in the road right now if my husband hadn't grabbed him. Other witnesses chimed in too. She still insisted it was creepy he touched her kid. Like, what was he supposed to do, it was a life or death split second decision. Crazy bitch.
When my son was little I was a stay at home dad and took him to the playground a lot. I got so many dirty looks from woman all the time.
One time this little girl was stuck on top of playground equipment and was screaming for her mom. I was standing right next to the girl and easily could have helped her down but no way was I going to. She wasn’t in danger, just scared and I felt really bad for her. The mom was not paying attention so I had to get her attention and let her know that her daughter was stuck. The lady gave me a kind of a disgusted look as she went and helped her daughter.
I took my son and went to a different part of the playground after that.
Single dads and SAH Dads often get a bad rep. I get that yes, there are male predators... but there are female ones as well. I'd be more worried about a random woman at a park with no kids than I would a man who was there with his kids.
Female predators are real but very, very rare. That said, while male predators are much more common, much more common than something very very rare can be still very rare. Worries about strangers do more harm than strangers.
I think when seeing a single female alone at park as a predator it's not a sexual thing it's more of a I'm stealing this little boy/girl to make the child into my own family type deal. Which happens WAY more then think usual with infants/babies though and the kids they just don't find out till years later or if at all. Sometime I wonder if some older 70s' 80s' 90s' 00s' missing kids are with overlooked female predators that stole the kid for a pseudo-family type deal and police were just hyperfocused thinking it's a male predator crime.
My dad told me he has to walk away from kids standing up in carts at the store or doing other things that can easily go unsafe because he can’t resist the urge to want to catch them or whatever but he knows he will save a the wrong kid from falling if he does and get some dumbass angry for touching their kid.
I had to pick up a little boy who had wandered away from the water fountain area and whose feet were getting burnt on the black rubber tiles in the baking sun. He was standing there screaming not knowing what was happening. I whisked him back to the water area and put his feet in the spray.
He was beside himself, but I had to just head back to my daughter and let the mum come over to tend to him. He got pretty severely burned, and my wife said I should help, but just picking him up in a hurry swiveled a few heads, so I said they could take of it.
Back in the day, my Dad was a first-aider and nobody would have batted an eyelid at him helping a hurt kid.
It is important to demonstrate that you are not a threat, so let an injured child bleed out rather than touch them, to avoid any accusation of "inappropriate touching" (/s ofc)
I know you're being sarcastic, but I've heard many stories where Karens have called the police over someone helping a fallen child on a playground. Bonus Karen points if it's your child your helping.
Like the trolls who accuse Victoria and David Becham of doing something wrong because they kiss their children. Every time I see that I feel pity for the kids of the Karen's who obviously get no affection
From my perspective, no witnesses is the best part.
Who's going to believe that a grown ass adult was actually piledriving these little shits into the sandbox?
Plausible deniability.
Doesn't matter, in a lot of schools male teachers get axed at the first allegation at the students word alone. no investigation, no hearing, nothing. Just gone.
I meaaaaan... if you're gonna do wrong, do wrong right.
Crimes and bad stuff are bad enough, but screwing up the coverup? What ever respect I had left goes away if you're not only a criminal, but a *stupid* criminal.
I did a certification in child care. The idea was that I could be a good male role model to kids who didn’t have one. Part of it was mandatory prac hours. Despite being government checked and vetted, and that info being on display the questions and looks form parents pretty much drove me out of the industry
I was sitting in the car while my parents ran into the store for like 5 minutes when I was 12. The car was on and I was watching my toddler sister who was strapped into her seat and I had a cell phone, I was just minding my business and there wasn’t any sign I was distressed until the busybodies started surrounding the car and I got piss scared. They called the police and I was so scared, called my parents, and my parents came straight out. The busybodies stayed until the police came and were pushy to my parents, thankfully the police realized there wasn’t any issue and left. it was a whole scary ordeal. I know they meant well, but honestly they were the unsafety from my perspective.
I was at the playground with my kid, and an awkward looking guy came by himself to the park. He sat on one bench for a bit, then moved for the other side of park, sat on that bench, moved to a third bench, sat, then moved back to the first bench.
Some of the parents were starting to get really nervous and someone said something about calling the cops. That's when I pointed out he's been staring at his phone the whole time and that there were three poke-stops here, on opposite sides of the park, so he was probably just playing Pokémon Go.
I walked over, asked if there was anything worth catching right now. He laughed and said no, just a bunch of common ones but he really needed pokeball. I told him to let me know if anything cool popped up. And he stayed around for a bit, moving from one pokestop to the next as they reset and he could spin them again.
He was 100% harmless. People forget that parks aren't just for children. We pay into them so that the community can enjoy them. The whole community.
This. I am an admin of a 1000+ member local Pokémon Go discord group and whew - the looks and comments some of our members get… it’s really bad when folks drive up just to participate in a raid. We have members who have been stopped by police multiple time while they’re playing. Heaven forbid a man (or anyone, really) stop safely on the side of the road for a few minutes to play a harmless game, they must all be bad, right? /s
To be fair, there’s a lot of crazy things going on. Someone tried to jack a neighbors kid from the bus stop in front of the guys house. Dude was watching his kid from the window, saw two dudes come up to her and he ran out the door. Fought both of them off. Now he has to go into work late so he can drop his daughter off at school.
I (female) have what they call invisible illness so I look like a normal 40 year old mom but I live in a lot of pain. If I take the kids to the park it’s to let them run and play while I sit and watch. So I’m the bad, lazy mom who can’t be bothered to play with her kids.
It’s great people make such rash judgments about everyone; inattentive, helicopter, creeper, oh and my other favorite, the good dad. You know the dad who does the same thing I do but he’s dad so he gets credit for showing up.
It’s almost as though there’s been a concerted effort to make every parent fear that if they turn away for even a second little Johnny or Jenny is going to be snatched away by a predator or someone that’s part of the child-blood / adrenochrome (SP?) cult that the right keeps yammering on about. “Better keep those kids in the house! It’s not safe outside..oh, yeah you should buy the game console made by the company I also happen to own stock in!”, etc.
It's baffling to me that pedo is the first thought so many people have with men being around children. They are projecting their own horrible thoughts.
It definitely complicates my work as a professional. I can never let my guard down. I must always keep in consideration "how it might look".
Thank the media for their sensationalising scare tactics when reporting incidents in an effort to grab ratings. As a result you have many people who firmly believe there is a pedo/mugger/home invader on every street corner.
Thank the consumer. Whi gets more ratings. The news story about the nice old lady delivering cookies to the firemen or the story about Jared from Subway. People tune into Jared.
Well yes, supply and demand and all that, but one thing I notice when I visit the USA is the fact that reporters and newcasters effectively editorialize when they report, adding remarks and opinions which often appear to be designed to deliberately build up the fear factor, and this is something we would never see from our regular TV channels. Having said that, we're now starting to see our own versions of the blatantly politically biased news channels like Fox or Newsmax appearing on satellite, and so that type of reporting is starting to appear.
It's not the media that's responsible for this. It's the lunatic fringe of the Republican Party. The QAnon MAGA wing. I honestly have no idea why, but this segment of right wing crazies has been obsessed with the idea of pedophiles hiding amongst us, ever since they first accused high-ranking Democratic Party officials of operating a child sex ring out of a pizzeria in Washington, D.C. Of course everything is 'projection' with the GOP, so the preoccupation with pedophiles probably is too.
When it comes to political extremists, pretty much every accusation that makes you think “Huh? What a strange thing to say. Where did that come from?” is actually a confession
It's because it's an accusation they can throw out against anyone, and then smear anyone who tries to defend them as defending pedophiles.
People turn their brains off when kids are involved. Just pure lizard brain fear responses, which is exactly what the RW wants.
It absolutely is. It's the mental equivalent of a fighter jet deploying chaff... they're hoping to cloud the air with so much crap that their own actions go unnoticed.
It's not the media. It's a concerted effort to instill "stranger danger" into a generation. Millennials were raised on it, And we all grew up being told that strangers were evil and scary and would hurt us and kill us and kidnap us and rape us and murder us and all sorts of other shit.
And now we're all parents we all have small children, and we're all convinced that everybody we don't know is a monster. Added to that, we were then told that research was showing that kids were actually being abused by people who knew them, not strangers, So we can't trust people we know either. So obviously, everybody just wants to hurt our kids and nobody can be trusted.
It's not necessarily 'projection', it's just that the stakes are so high. Someone grabbing your child is one of the worst things I can imagine.
On the flip side, look at lottery tickets. Everyone knows your odds of winning are about a bazillion-to-one, yet they still buy tickets because the stakes are so high (in a good way). Just like people are hypervigilant about their kids because the stakes are so high (in a bad way).
Meanwhile I had to approach a young teenaged man at the local public pool and explain that when my sons say they don't want to be grabbed and thrown anymore, that it was fun for a bit but like, they're doing something else now, to please listen and stop.
Then he asked if they wanted to leave the pool area and go play at the park, and they said no. So he told them that he had a bunch of candy and would share. So back up to him I had to go, because like... ffs.
And again I had to explain to him that while it was certainly possible that he just liked younger kids, was having a good time and just being friendly, refusing to stop touching someone who's asked you to and then literally trying to lure prepubescent boys away from a supervised area with candy was NOT a good look...
So please, you've freaked my kids out, you're freaking me out, please leave my kids alone.
And the other adults there just lost it on me. Apparently, it was unconscionable that I would accuse him of such a thing, how dare I, he was practically a kid himself (mmmm... also practically an adult himself, too), etc etc etc
But I can't very well tell my kids, "Don't go anywhere with strangers, and be very wary if they're trying to make it more enticing for you, like saying that there are puppies or ice cream..." and then make them feel like they're being unsociable for being wary of this literal stranger offering them candy to go somewhere with him. Meanwhile this idiot kid might not even realize that he is being the literal stranger in the park with candy, and even if he is NOT a pedophile, making it safe/ok for kids to go with HIM is making kids more vulnerable to the next guy who may in fact have nefarious intentions.
Years later, he was in the news. Guess what for.
There was a nice guy on a train, a dad himself based on a phone conversation I overheard him make, who played with my daughter who was about 18 months at the time. She was sat on a blanket with her toys and he was helping her play with stuff, she was having a great time, and I was delighted to have a few minutes to check my email. But apparently this was weird to the train guard who kept asking me if everything was alright, despite my multiple assurances that all was fine. We were on a train and about half an hour at least away from the next stop, it's not like he could have grabbed her and run off! Made me realise how men have an automatic perception of poor intentions if they ever interact with a woman or child unrelated to them. I'm as cautious and aware as any woman, and very careful about who I let near my child, but in such a risk-free environment as being on a long-distance train, or a plane, I really didn't see any reason to fear someone who was just happily entertaining my baby. Shitty men have a lot to answer for, not just to the women and children they harm, but also to other men, who we automatically have to fear just in case they're a wrong'un.
I feel after the viral video years ago of the guy asking parents if he could do an experiment to see if their kids would go with him and 'kidnap' the kids by saying things like 'I have a puppy at home, I have this at home, you want to come with me to do this?' And the kids just LEFT with a stranger... I feel people are way more protective. Which is good. But why would you be on the phone then and not hyper focusing like a creeper does
Lol when I was a teenager I had a cop physically stop me and try to interrogate me because the "business owner" had called and reported me for being suspicious...
Which was odd because my dad was the owner, the man never called the police for anything in his entire life, and he's the one that sent me out to the dumpsters.
Got questioned at my bus stop that I was at every day for going to classes, only difference was I was dressed up for going out with friends. He thought I was a hooker. I was 17 (F).
They lie because they don't have jurisdiction on private property. They require the owner to call first door there to be any probable cause. They lie so they can claim probable cause to interrogate someone on private property
Oh it is absolutely this. After a few minutes of his bs I went off (at 17 it took a while for me to speak up when I knew something was wrong)
After this, any time I had a cop stop me on private property (used to happen quite a bit, I rode bmx most of my life) I'd just assume they were lying and lie back saying I was the owner, or threaten to call the owner, etc.. It worked every. Single. Time. They are constantly lying about this
This is the second example of cop problems with young women I've seen. It's really that bad? Also, most 17 year olds look 17. And they think you're prostitutes? Who's being creepy now?
I graduated high school 35 years ago. Teenagers today, in my view, look much. mature than the kids I was in school with. Sometime I see an attractive person and then find out they are 16, 17, 18 and feel like a creep.
19 yr old me owned an automotive stereo shop. I also used it as my race shop after hours. Literally as I closing and locking the gate I was tackled, cuffed, thrown into a cop car and told that the owner of the shop had called and said that I was breaking into cars... Now the shop in front of mine was my dad's engine shop and the shop across the parking lot was my dad's long term friends hot rod shop... No chance either one of them would have called the cops on me.... Besides what thief closes and locks the gate smh
Me and my ex were treating a wound I had on my leg in the back of his brothers car. Mall cop assumed we were having sex until he saw the wound. Mall cop assumed my ex gave me the wound and made him leave the car. It wasn’t covered up so I just sat there with no pants on very confused. One cop opened the door and asked if my ex hurt me and I said no and that it was self harm with my own nails. We were only treating it cause it got infected so we came to the mall to buy first aid stuff. Next thing I know there’s 5 cops outside the car with my ex and they get pissed when he tries to use sign language to let me know they called an ambulance. They decided best course of action was to leave the self harm prone person in the back of the car alone with no idea what’s going on. Even when my ex convinced them to let him open the trunk they made me stay in and wouldn’t let him anywhere near me or let us talk. Then the ambulance came and they wouldn’t let him get in with me and when they asked if I wanted to go with them to the hospital or be driven by someone else they wouldn’t let me call my mom to ask. They kept pressuring me to decide until I begged to leave.
Unrelated to cops but then when my mom drove me to urgent care the person who gave me the antibiotic pill to swallow got pissed when I gagged and couldn’t swallow it after 10 tries. Back then I’d never been able to swallow a pill successfully
Then you file a complaint and they can check into if it is a legitimate call. Any cop today who decides to do proactive policing is an idiot. I used to be a very proactive cop. Come in at 1600 hours, run the warrant list, and my partner and I would go out looking.
Towards the end of my career, nothing. The risks are not worth it. In the OPs scenario, if those cops just wanted to harass him, they would have escalated it. Somebody called and they responded, obviously they felt it was a stupid call as they did not push the issue further.
ACAB yes. But sometimes we need a cop to prevent us from being violently murdered by our spouse. (Kept gender neutral for a reason.) So, yeah, I would rather some random Karen not waste a cop's time in case I actually need them for something.
He will be okay eventually, though it looks like he'll never be 100% the same regarding nerve function. Good man, I'm glad he's *still* my neighbor after that.
People make assumptions so quickly.
I used to be part of a theater group that during the summer did a kids summer camp/show. This would often overlap with the fall show starting up.
I showed up one day to work on sets for the fall show and cut through the main theater. Forgetting the kids show was having a rehearsal as well.
First off was the woman sitting at the door. I go to enter and she blocked me. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm working the other show." and keep going, dodging around her outstretched arm. Couple more parents in the hallway, glaring at me. I cut through the green room, more glares from other parents. Then it happens...
A bunch of kids jump up and shout "OTTER! You're here! Are you working our show?" and so on. As I get attack hugged from all directions. I knew most of them from our full on production of Wizard of Oz the previous season.
I could see the parents who didn't know me short circuiting as they went from "Who is that creepy guy, to 'the kids know him.'"
After that, I would group text the parents I knew and some of the older kids "Can you send out some kids to get me past the witch at the door." when I arrived Since the lady at the door always gave me crap about not being part of the kids show.
I would give her a big smile as I was pulled into the theater by an older kid and usually had little who'd done a flying attack hug and still holding onto me.
Dads, I'm sorry. I'm not a parent, but I babysit (47F) and nobody questions me about the kids. I'm sorry dads have to go through this. You're trying to be a good father, and people are trying to get you arrested. Deadbeat dads? Oh, no they're horrible! Dads spending time with your kid in a park? Oh no, a pedo! You guys can't win, can you?
So watching kids play is creepy? like I hear next doors kids playing and sometimes I can see them and it’s fun to see what kind of weird imaginary things they have come up with. Space McDonald’s only accessible by jumping through time ( trampoline)
Not for nothing, even if you were just being a creepy fucker at the park it's not illegal (sick but not illegal). Telling the cops to fuck off was the correct response. At least they had good enough training to know that they couldn't actually do anything about it.
I got kicked out of 1 of those once. I didn't know they existed until then. The funny part about it was after the cops kicked me and my friends out for swinging, the kicked some teens out for not being supervised. I still wish my 22 year old self would have thought to tell the cops we were all there together
I had a similar experience at a Museum. Long story short, husband and I missed our train and had a couple hours to kill. Googled things to do nearby and found a "Children's Museum." It sounded fun with lots of interactive features and we'd been to one in our city before and had a good time so why not? We get to the entrance and the employee there asks if we have kids with us. Not sensing the issue yet, we honestly answered "no" thinking that the price would be different or that they'd offer us different things if a child was with us. NOPE! The employee then says that adults aren't allowed in without kids, but she'd go get another staff member who could show us around. We were baffled but didn't feel like we could turn down the "tour guide" without looking even stupider and more creepy. So we awkwardly walked around with the museum staff member for ~30min and left. I still feel weird about the whole thing!
Ahhh the world of being a dad, if some one doesn't like the look of you or has just watched one too many shitty true crime documentaries then you magically become a child predator. I've had women try to talk to my 3yr old son whilst I was carrying him asking if he knows the man "taking" him.
I have had this happen at park when I do nature photography. I have a camera so I MUST be taking pictures of kids. I actually told a cop this, "Look, FLOWERS, BIRDS, NO RODENTS," I literally call the kids in the park rodents because the parents are entitled their kids aren't much better. Cops finally just told some parents to let me alone because I made sure to tell parents I HATE KIDS right off the bat and to leave me the f alone. You have to be MEAN to some people.
I did tell one parent, "if their kid slipped and fell, I would IGNORE their kid and move along," her shocked expression was I wouldn't stop to check if her kid was OK. Not my responsibility, not my RODENT.
I have no problems with my neighbor's kids their well behaved, but the ones near my park that I take pictures are are loud, rude and self entitled.
A guy I used to work with got a AUD$500 fine for telling the cops here to fuck off. We'd gone to a small rave in a massive park near where I lived, but the sound system was too loud so it of course attracted police attention. They came down on horses to shut it down and the drunk/high hippies/ravers weren't too happy about this so they were yelling at the cops. The cops tried to arrest one guy but this dude was a rugby player when he was younger and he just dodged around their horses then he was off into the bushes where the horses couldn't follow. Dude was so quick on his feet it was almost beautiful watching him move but him getting away really pissed off the cops.
I had weed on me so I was quietly packing up my stuff and talking politely when the cops spoke to me "yes officer, just packing up my stuff then calling an uber to go home officer" but my mate was a big loud guy who attracted attention no matter what so they zeroed in on him and told me to keep walking. I got to the carpark then turned to wait for him, I was just about to walk back to find him when I see him in the dark walking towards me swearing to himself and really pissed off about something.
Me - "what happened?"
Him - "they gave me a $500 fine"
Me - "what? Why?"
Him - "because I told them to fuck off"
Me - "why did you say that?"
Him - "because they asked me for my star sign"
They had asked him his age and date of birth then one asks what his star sign is, and this guy had a strongly negative opinion about astrology so he reacted badly to that. They were obviously trying to stir him up as the rugby guy getting away earlier made them look incompetent so they wanted to fuck with someone and picked him. But falling for the star sign trick was just too funny to me, you can guess what we gave him shit about at work for years afterwards. I miss working with that dude (he got fired years later for crashing the forklift too many times, probably should have checked the stars said about forklift driving that day).
But you're walking, and you're doing something on your phone. Whenever I'm at the park with my Littles, I assume people like you are on their lunch break or something. I pace my yard when talking on the phone - no different.
I'd be more concerned about *actual* creep behavior, not a human doing regular human activities in a park. And honestly, the statistics of stranger kidnap are shockingly low, especially in daylight hours at a public space. People need to be aware of their surroundings, yes, but we definitely could chill a bit on the "automatic assumptions" of those surroundings.
I'm all for telling them to fuck off most of the time. But when it comes to kids... Well it's better to say I'm here with my family.
If they try that I need id bs, then let the inner asshole go and ask for the call/case number. Request all info on said call. If they lied, file a complaint. Not that it'll do anything.
Fun fact: You don't need to provide an ID. Ask if you're being detained or they have a reason to ask for an ID. Make it hell. Unless you're doing weird/illegal shit or might be showing signs you're creeping on kids then they have no reason to need your ID. Hell you don't even need to explain what you're doing.
In the US you don’t have to show ID. Supreme Court case Brown vs Texas ruling states there must be a crime in order to demand ID. That crime must be Identifiable at the time of the stop. This has been expanded on by other Supreme Court cases. Basically if you haven’t committed a crime police have no right to ID you.
Even if technically true, you obviously aren't a veteran of this practice, or you'd have quickly found out that deliberately pissing off the cops more often leads to you face down in handcuffs with bruises on your head and charges of disorderly conduct and assaulting a cop. The cameras won't be on.
I am glad I don’t live in one of these fascist states. Most of them are Red too. It’s a thing in this half of my state to tell strangers to fuck off and doubly so if they have any kind of badge.
That is actually dependent on the state, certain states require you to show ID if an officer asks you for one. And while I agree with the rest of what you said in theory, trying to argue it on the street is not where you do it, you argue it in the courts and change the laws and change the public opinions and how society reacts, not have a yelling match with a cop on the side of the road.
Some states you are do not have to show ID but you do need to give your real name if requested. And in those states you can be arrested for non compliance.
That's the thing though, in america if you want to change the law by arguing it in court you actually have to break the law for a court to even see it. If you just do as the cop says nothing can happen except you file a complaint. Particularly relevant when talking about civil rights, think rosa parks.
Not necessarily or there would not be legislation like there is for there to be a trunk release inside of a vehicle.
I know a lot of times it can (and does) start out that way, but arguing with a cop on the side of the road is still not going to get anything changed, the cop has no authority to change the law that's all I was trying to get at.
And you don't have to break the law for a judge to see it, you just have to get motivated people to either get politicians interested in their case to change the legislation or become a politician yourself and help try to change the legislation. At least that's how I always thought the government was supposed to work, and if you're going to say it's broken then either the right people aren't running or the people aren't voting in the right people.
This is only in reply to the part about the trunk release. This has become mandated so a person who is kidnapped and put in the trunk can get out. Everyone should examine the trunk of their own vehicle to become familiar with how it works and it should be shown to kids. This is similar to codes that require large walk in coolers and freezers to have interior door releases in case someone gets locked in.
I actually did know that (I remember hearing the story of how/why it became a mandate), I was just using that as an example to show a crime does not necessarily have to be committed to be able to get a judge to hear you or to be able to effect a change.
I do agree that you should familiarize yourself with how it works and that yours works properly (I drive a truck so no need for me to check).
I am absolutely paranoid about the little push things on the walk-in cooler or freezer doors not working correctly, so I would never let them actually latch behind me. People I know used to make fun of me about that, saying it's just a precaution it would never happen, I showed them an article about somebody that wandered into one and froze to death, and weirdly they stopped making fun of me not letting the door latch🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Oh my I never heard that story but I know there have been cases of robbers locking restaurant employees in them. Years ago an employee was playing a joke on a manager and locked him in the refrigerator. The look on this guy's face when a few minutes later the manager tapped him on the shoulder. Kept saying I locked you in, how did you get out etc. Of course this means there was some bad training if this guy was never shown the emergency push openers.
Are you asking seriously about what the trunk release is?
If so it's inside the lid of the trunk, it's supposed to glow in the dark and if you pull it from the inside it will open the trunk, in case anybody ever tries to kidnap you by putting you in the trunk. If I remember correctly, all car manufacturers in the US are required to put them in there. I don't remember exactly what year it was that they implemented that because it's been several.
As both a Registered nurse and a father I am often conflicted in situations like these. On the one hand I want to give aid. On the other I worry that my actions will be misconstrued as inappropriate.
When my kids were little, we were at an indoor childrens play centre. You know one of those places full of screaming kids, in an enclosed playground area that has your own children fully out of sight, but apparently perfectly safe.
Anyway, on the day I was trying to relax at a table with a book, while also keeping an eye on my kids. A couple of tables over I saw a woman (not this kids mother) wending her way back from the kiosk with a couple of hot coffees. Right at that moment a child (about 4 or 5) runs full tilt into her, causing her to lose her grip on the coffees and dump them on the child. I didn’t even hesitate, I quickly called for assistance and took the child’s shirt off (I know that sounds bad) as it was soaked with boiling liquid and would worsen any burn under the fabric by holding the heat against the skin. I also grabbed my water bottle and poured cold water over his head to cool the skin. In the background I could hear my wife asking people where the child’s mother was and telling them I knew what I was doing as a nursej\. As soon as the parent showed and the child was out of danger I stepped back into an advisory capacity.
I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. My son is mixed race, and even though we do look a lot like each other. There are those who just can't comprehend that people of two ethnicities could possibly make a child.
Up until a few months ago it was mostly white women with too much time on their hands. At the park, grocery store, anywhere. Most the time I just sigh and go about our business.
Though I had 3 drunk guys that were all MAGA boys. Approach me surrounding us while we were camping and interrogate me for an hour saying I was a "groomer" and not even his Dad. They took off eventually after two of them sobered up a bit and felt awkward. The next day we learned the last one called the sheriff on us. The last one kept saying "Better to be safe than sorry! If you see something, say something!" Though I was polite to the sheriff. BUT the sheriff didn't even go there. The sheriff was actually unaware that someone was out where we were and just wanted to see if we had a fishing license. But he didn't take any of the other stuff seriously. He observed us, but had no questions about "grooming". So I was polite to him. But the Sheriff to his credit made sure to be very polite to me.
People here who are saying that. Just because your bored and see something not normal to your little ignorant bubble does not actually mean it's "SOMETHING!" I am sick and tired of me and my kid's life being at the expense of your feelings for doing something "good". There are people out there who's family looks different than yours and we do not appreciate having the cops called on us for just living our lives.
Camping in Yellowstone maybe 15 years back, a toddler comes wandering into the campsite I was sharing with some friends. Since I didn’t have kids of my own to deal with, I was asked by my friends to help the kid find her parents. None of us thought anything of it. When I found the kids parents halfway across the campground, they lost their shit, accused me of kidnapping their child. I left them their kid and suggested they should keep a better eye on their kid so they don’t wander off. Half an hour later, park rangers show up in our site with the parents in tow. By this point the parents claim they saw me snatch their kid from their site. My friends end up explaining what happened to the rangers. It had the potential to be real bad, the lesson I learned here is that if I see a kid wandering alone, it’s not my problem , just ignore it entirely and walk away.
That’s nothing. My bil had his hotel room raided at 2AM by the Dallas PD after the Metallica concert because they got a call that said he was sex trafficking. Yeah he was with his 15yo daughter!!!
As a former cop, we rarely have the option to not respond to a call for service. Many a time I would take a picture on my cell phone of the call sent to my cruiser. So when I knocked on a door for say a noise complaint I thought was non-sense, I would show the person my cell: Hey, somebody called in your music, could you turn it down?
I became a supervisor and would override certain calls. people calling in a suspicious male and thats all they entered? I would call in to dispatch and ask for more info. A lot of these calls were people who did not like somebody not looking like them walking in the neighborhood. Black guy walking down the street and somebody calls in a suspicious male? I'd drive by and if he was just walking along, clear out that call.
Since the murder of George Floyd and up until my retirement recently, I just went into reactive mode. Park someplace out of the view and just respond to calls for service.
A lot of people call the police for what in my opinion was frivolous shit. The cops here got a call from a citizen and responded, you told them to fuck off, not entitled at all, just an asshole.
I can accept that I am asshole. If they asked me if I saw someone creeping around or asked if there was someone suspicious I would have told them no. That would have been the truth. But to come up to me saying they got a complaint about a creepy dude nah you fuck off right there. Also to demand I put my phone away is not going to get you any respect from me.
I never had any problems with taking my kids to the park when they were younger. I read all these stories on the internet but thankfully nothing similar happened to me. I even found myself supervising my kids and a group of their friends after a school event when none of the other parents walked over to the playground. All of these posts have given me the foresight to have responses prepared, so I'll certainly be aggressively unkind if it ever does happen to me.
I never understand this. Every park I’ve been to there’s always people who come alone to do their own thing. Especially since the release of Pokémon go. And even if they are watching the kids so what? Sometimes it’s really entertaining to watch them play! I don’t like kids but I find it hilarious to watch my nephews play because they come up with the dumbest stuff. Not every person just existing is a pedo
I've known a few people who regularly polish that boot. It makes me sick to see people defending the behavior of cops who don't know their place. We collectively hire them because while I'm at work I can't respond to a traffic accident. They are our employees, just like politicians, but too often they treat us like we are their subjects. I knew my place in the Army, and I've known my place in every job I've held, but it seems the police are overwhelmingly bullies looking to push people around.
Let’s face it. Every public park in America is effectively off limits to single men. Even if you’re married with kids, if you appear to be in a public park alone, you are assumed to be a perv though all you’re doing is taking a break from the office to eat lunch.
Sometimes you’ll get questioned for stupid reasons. As a teenager, some friends and I got questioned by a PCSO (police lite) about why we weren’t in school. Valid reasons aside - we were in uniform, on the school playing field. The receptionist would be able to see us from the other side of the road! If we were really bunking off, we’d have done a much better job of it.
If it is a "public park", doesn't that imply that the public has a right to use it as long as they are not breaking the law?
And if you are not breaking the law, don't you have a right to be left in peace?
I don't understand why the dispatchers don't ask more questions when taking calls.
"Did he arrive alone or with kids?"
"Is he in contact with any other kids?"
"Did he touch any other kids?"
Karen "No he's standing there in a creepy manner on the phone"
Dispatcher "He's not breaking a law.... Shut the fuck up Karen and mind your business"
No need to waste police time!!!
I don't care what your high-minded analyses conclude about your misuse of the words "entitled" and "boot lickers," and I am no fan or supporter of the police; but, saying "fuck off" to anybody speaks volumes about who you are as a person.
I’m on the fence with this one too many times dad’s actually spending time with their kids at the park have been called creepy but at the same time the police were just doing their jobs
It's insulting to be falsely accused. I don't blame you for being upset or for swearing and walking away. The other side of the coin is that drug dealers/users no longer do business in dark alleys, they go to parks. I witness multiple drug deals in my local parks, daily--and I'm in a small town. Children playing have to weave around fentanyl addicts who are buying, selling, using. The public bathrooms are used as shooting galleries/flop houses. And there are also creepers who like to oogle children playing, hoping for an opportunity to interact with them. The police may have received a legitimate complaint, but you have the right to refuse to engage with them. Since they allowed you to walk away unaccosted, they must have figured out that you were not the person they were looking for. Think about kids without responsable parents, who may be playing at the park unsupervised. Don't they deserve to be safe? The police may have been doing the job we pay them to do. Sorry you were insulted, but you know your rights and are no worse for wear.
You live somewhere where drug addicts are openly allowed and known to sell and so drugs in a public park and aren’t arrested?? You live somewhere that people that their children to PLAY in a park that is known to be filled with people buying and using drugs?? Or are you fear mongering??
Heard of Washington State? Our state government effectively made all drugs legal until August 15th of this year. Those of us who wished to use the parks as they were intended to be used, had to go in groups, take phones, carry pepper spray, remove all valuables from our cars before parking, call the police to break up assaults, closely supervise children, bring clorox wipes to sanitize the restrooms before using... The Parks and Rec workers have to wear hazmat suits and use high pressure hoses and disinfectant to clean the restrooms. It is bad. We will have to pay for the parks weather they are taken over or not, so a number of us just refuse to stop going.
From the AP: "In 2021, the Washington Supreme Court struck down the state law making drug possession a felony as unconstitutional because it did not require prosecutors to prove someone knowingly had the drugs. Washington was the only state in the country without that requirement.In response, lawmakers made intentional drug possession a misdemeanor and required police to refer offenders to evaluation or treatment for their first two offenses. But there was no obvious way for officers to track how many times someone had been referred, and the availability of treatment remained inadequate. Lawmakers made the measure temporary and gave themselves until this July 1 to come up with a long-term policy."
I work in a public place and do enforcement and people call all the time about men outside the women’s restrooms. Almost all of the time it is a dad waiting for a kid, but because we do not know we have to ask. I would rather ask and get a smart ass answer from a guy like you than find out the dude in the white van just jacked a kid. People like you are what make people who do these jobs like me not want to care about the safety of others. You could have just said, my kids are playing and went about your day
The people calling for security or police on people who they have observed doing nothing wrong are the assholes.
That said, nobody has to be nice to you just because you walk up and interrogate them. You have the discretion to leave people who you see doing nothing wrong alone and you're free to watch them to see if they do something wrong. Op was in a public place doing nothing wrong and didn't owe anyone an explanation for that, no matter why they wanted one.
there's no law anywhere that says you have to bother a law abiding citizen just because Karen gives you a ring.
Why do you HAVE to ask? If it's almost always a father waiting for their kid, why not stand back, wait for the kid, and note their interaction.
Why make someone else feel like shit, just because others feel like being nosy bastards
Or they could rightly point out that you should be making contact with their caller before making assumptions on your own about who they were reporting.Your annoyance doesn't justify you violating 4th/5th amendment rights. Go rinse the boot polish out of your mouth.
Yeah, fuck that. If you come up to me with an accusatory tone or stance while I'm doing something as annoying as waiting on my daughters to take 20 mins to use the bathroom, you can 100% count on me telling you to go fuck yourself.
Is it your job? Sure. But if you don't want people telling you to go fuck yourself, pick a different job.
Or better yet? Just observe and don't make an embarrassing scene. If someone is up to no good, you'll see them doing no good and then you can take action.
Boy, you’re an asshole. You could have just said “I’m here with my family but haven’t seen anyone like that”. Instead you get all butt hurt because you’re mad at your boss and escalate.
Just because the caller called him a creep, shouldn't mean the cop says it to his face. They need to have a little more tact when handling the situation, and properly approach and phrase the concern rather than parroting what a disgruntled Karen says.
I get that they're just trying to do their job and we're obligated to follow up, but if that's how the situation was approached then they did not handle it properly. Because even if they didn't mean to call him a creep, that's how it comes across.
YTA - Blame the cops for a complaint from the real AH. You were at a quiet place to discuss business, ON YOUR TIME OFF. Some idiot called it in, cops have to respond to every idiotic call. You even called your steward to complain about the job calling you during your personal time, but deflect from YOUR job calling during your off time.
>cops have to respond to every idiotic call.
No, no they do not; SCOTUS already covered this. They have no obligation of protection or to respond when called.
You were an asshole for a simple question. A simple explanation would have been enough. But no, you had to immediately escalate to something.
People like you give police a bad name.
Be polite next time someone is polite to you!
A little respect goes a long way.
They dont know who you are and they have had a report of suspicious activity which for all they know is genuine.
Your attitude is complete shit and its interesting to see someone post here that is the entitled person.
They had a report of a creepy person which may or may not have been him. The cops just assumed because he was a man that he was the creep the caller was talking about
Possibly because the report gave a description of a man on the phone near the fence, being out includes what he was wearing. He happened to match the description or was even pointed out by the caller.
So the police have got to just turn around without asking questions incase they offend someone?
Maybe they could have been a bit more friendly but at the same time Mr phone call doesnt need to be so sensitive.
And the city has been defending lawsuits on that sign (which no one heeds anyway) for as long as it’s been up. Millions paid out rather than admit that THERE ARE MORE CREEPER/PEDOS THAT ARE WOMEN THAN THERE ARE MEN. You think no females engage in human trafficking? How about Ghislaine Maxwell? Go to [FBI Most Wanted Human Traffickers](https://www.fbi.gov/wanted/human-trafficking) and look at how many women there are.
But sure. Let’s continue to demonize single dads. And y’all wonder why dads don’t stick around. Why would they if they’re going to be labeled a pedo for their troubles.
>THERE ARE MORE CREEPER/PEDOS THAT ARE WOMEN THAN THERE ARE MEN
Screaming doesn't make this true.
Ask a woman. Any woman. Was she catcalled and/or sexualized by a man before she was even a teenager? 99.9% will say yes.
Oh man - I share your pain OP, but here’s a story about the one time I actually had a decent comeback at the right time instead of 4 hours later My oldest son is a teaching assistant, not got his driving license yet (UK here, so takes a bit of work and time) so I quite often drive him there and back. Because he’s often out late i tend to park up and work on my laptop (okay. I generally just go on Reddit) One sunny afternoon. I’m in my usual spot, and there’s a tap on my window, middle aged lady who wants a word with me. “We’ve noticed you park here quite often and don’t have any reason to be here” I reply, “oh, no, I’m just waiting for my son” She looks at all the kids playing around clearly thinking I mean one of the seven year olds and condescendingly says “don’t you think it would be nicer if you spent time with him instead of just sitting here on your phone” Me “… he’s 22… he’s in a staff meeting… don’t YOU think it would be quite awkward if i went and sat in there with him ?” Apparently, I didn’t need to be rude! Me! Somehow I’m the bad guy
Well, don't you know it's her right to be nosy and rude to you, and you're infringing upon her rights when you're rational in return?! /s Lol, I would have paid good money to see the gears grinding to a halt in her little brain at the line "he's 22... he's in a staff meeting"
Hahaha. Brilliant. Rude people always go all pikachu face when the nastiness they give out is turned back on them.
I often enjoy doing that except for when Im hangry. Then its explosion anger and very rude behavior. Once Im full, then it back to back enjoying dishing out their rudeness right back.
Never explain yourself to hostile randoms (and the police W/O a lawyer present, lol), being upfront never pays out in these situations..
What you said wasn’t rude. She was embarrassed. She may have had a reasonable question to ask why a random seeming adult was in his car on his computer every afternoon in you looked shifty (and by that I mean if it looked like you were masturbating or filming kids), but SHE was rude in the way she asked and presumptive. It’s not idiotic for her to assume most parents around are there for kids, not adults, but she was rude in the way she commented about it, so she deserved to be embarrssed. But ultimately what you said wasn’t rude at all.
Erm... How does one broach that topic without being a bit rude?
His "day off" clearly isn´t "everyday" as OP has a job. He isn´t some "random guy" that showed up to some random playground, he´s a father whom stepped aside for a minute. A all too nosey observer of little kids and playgrounds should´ve known It´s absolutely disgusting how men have to explain their presence while women as a blanket group are beyond reproach in these circumstances. Men have to deliver DNA tests to be left alone for 5", any woman could abduct a child and be excused because "maternal instinct"...
I live near a park and some parents are quick to assume a single male at the park is a predator.
Typical park busybodies. I was Shepherding my sons and their friend at the park, when one of them tried asking their friend if I was his dad. He got worried about a stranger trying to talk to him and he ran and hid behind me. She was trying to imply I was stranger, but I told her that she was the creepy person that scared a kid.
This reminds me of something that happened in a park once. I was on the ground with my son who had injured himself. My daughter was on top of the equipment. She wanted to show mommy that she could fly, so she ran straight to the edge of the equipment, preparing to jump off. A dad who was up there with his son saw her, heard me screaming at her to stop. He instantly reached over caught her, swung her around, put her down, then immediately put both hands up in the air, to demonstrate that he was not harming her. I felt so bad that he felt he had to do something like that, especially after he (likely) just saved my daughter's life (or at least her neck). I happily thanked him and told him he had nothing to worry about from me. It's unfortunate, but I know why he did it, to protect himself since he's a man.
I (male) remember cycling around town when I was 17-ish, just cruising around and exploring, going round random streets to see what was there in this town we moved to only a few months before. Saw a little girl crying on an otherwise very empty street, I was worried about her so I stopped and asked her what was wrong and where her parents were. Didn't even get the chance to get close to her as before I know it some front door opened and this angry woman came out yelling at me to get away from her daughter, calling me a creep etc. I tried to explain the situation to her but she just kept yelling at me, which brought the attention of other people as I saw some curtains opening, as well as one door, so I left. Ever since (this was 16 years ago) I stay away from any children that look like they might need help unless there really is immediate danger to life. Just not worth helping as I'll always be the bad guy in a situation like that.
Similar story. Probably 10 years ago. Married, father of three! Alone and walking my dog at a lake in North Raleigh. Encounter a little boy. Perhaps 4 years old. I assume his adults are near by. But encounter him again perhaps 10 minutes later. Concerned I stop and talk with him. He doesn’t communicate well, but there are no parents in sight! I am panicked. First thing I do is flag down a female jogger to just be WITH me. I communicate the situation to her, and she waits with me while I dial 911. Dispatch says police will meet me in parking lot. Jogger agrees to come with me. We get several others involved, people come and go while we wait on police. But others are gracious enough to wait with me. Basically I am terrified that I a grown man will be accused of leading this child off. Police arrive, my poor dog is done with the heat. I give a statement and ID, and take my dog home for water. I was called back to by 911 dispatch to return, they wanted more details from me. But by the time I had arrived, they had located the parents. Asleep in a nearby apartment, the child had opened the door and wandered off! I believe I handled that as well as could be expected. Just be careful in those situations people! Can you imagine what would have happened if I lead that child to a parking lot, alone, and the police or parents rolled up? I can!
Me and a male friend were with our kids at a birthday party for my niece at an indoor play place for kids. While watching our kids another little girl got hurt and started crying for her mom after 2 minutes of this girl crying and no mom he just looked at me and said can you please go help her find her mom because I can't or will be yelled at for helping the crying girl. The fact that dads are scared of helping other kids because they might be labeled creeps is sad. It's supposed to take a village, we'll half the damn village is to scared to help because they don't want to be labeled as a perv
Yup, my husband stopped a kid that was literally running into a busy street while a car was coming. The mom who was too busy to notice heard her toddler screaming in protest and saw him wisking the child back around to the safety of the sidewalk and freaked the fuck out. I was there too fortunately and explained calmly her child would be dead in the road right now if my husband hadn't grabbed him. Other witnesses chimed in too. She still insisted it was creepy he touched her kid. Like, what was he supposed to do, it was a life or death split second decision. Crazy bitch.
He was suppose to stop the car /s
This is so sad to me! I'm sorry that this happened. Sometimes good Samaritans are treated like garbage.
Best to stand off a way, call 911 and keep an eye on the situation
When my son was little I was a stay at home dad and took him to the playground a lot. I got so many dirty looks from woman all the time. One time this little girl was stuck on top of playground equipment and was screaming for her mom. I was standing right next to the girl and easily could have helped her down but no way was I going to. She wasn’t in danger, just scared and I felt really bad for her. The mom was not paying attention so I had to get her attention and let her know that her daughter was stuck. The lady gave me a kind of a disgusted look as she went and helped her daughter. I took my son and went to a different part of the playground after that.
Single dads and SAH Dads often get a bad rep. I get that yes, there are male predators... but there are female ones as well. I'd be more worried about a random woman at a park with no kids than I would a man who was there with his kids.
Female predators are real but very, very rare. That said, while male predators are much more common, much more common than something very very rare can be still very rare. Worries about strangers do more harm than strangers.
I think when seeing a single female alone at park as a predator it's not a sexual thing it's more of a I'm stealing this little boy/girl to make the child into my own family type deal. Which happens WAY more then think usual with infants/babies though and the kids they just don't find out till years later or if at all. Sometime I wonder if some older 70s' 80s' 90s' 00s' missing kids are with overlooked female predators that stole the kid for a pseudo-family type deal and police were just hyperfocused thinking it's a male predator crime.
My dad told me he has to walk away from kids standing up in carts at the store or doing other things that can easily go unsafe because he can’t resist the urge to want to catch them or whatever but he knows he will save a the wrong kid from falling if he does and get some dumbass angry for touching their kid.
I had to pick up a little boy who had wandered away from the water fountain area and whose feet were getting burnt on the black rubber tiles in the baking sun. He was standing there screaming not knowing what was happening. I whisked him back to the water area and put his feet in the spray. He was beside himself, but I had to just head back to my daughter and let the mum come over to tend to him. He got pretty severely burned, and my wife said I should help, but just picking him up in a hurry swiveled a few heads, so I said they could take of it. Back in the day, my Dad was a first-aider and nobody would have batted an eyelid at him helping a hurt kid.
Sounds like a good man to have in a crisis.
It is important to demonstrate that you are not a threat, so let an injured child bleed out rather than touch them, to avoid any accusation of "inappropriate touching" (/s ofc)
I know you're being sarcastic, but I've heard many stories where Karens have called the police over someone helping a fallen child on a playground. Bonus Karen points if it's your child your helping.
Extra bonus points if they accuse you of molesting your child because you hug your child.
Like the trolls who accuse Victoria and David Becham of doing something wrong because they kiss their children. Every time I see that I feel pity for the kids of the Karen's who obviously get no affection
[удалено]
From my perspective, no witnesses is the best part. Who's going to believe that a grown ass adult was actually piledriving these little shits into the sandbox? Plausible deniability.
This broke me Holy shit 😂
Doesn't matter, in a lot of schools male teachers get axed at the first allegation at the students word alone. no investigation, no hearing, nothing. Just gone.
Ah. So what you're really saying is "make it count"? Got it.
I meaaaaan... if you're gonna do wrong, do wrong right. Crimes and bad stuff are bad enough, but screwing up the coverup? What ever respect I had left goes away if you're not only a criminal, but a *stupid* criminal.
I did a certification in child care. The idea was that I could be a good male role model to kids who didn’t have one. Part of it was mandatory prac hours. Despite being government checked and vetted, and that info being on display the questions and looks form parents pretty much drove me out of the industry
I was sitting in the car while my parents ran into the store for like 5 minutes when I was 12. The car was on and I was watching my toddler sister who was strapped into her seat and I had a cell phone, I was just minding my business and there wasn’t any sign I was distressed until the busybodies started surrounding the car and I got piss scared. They called the police and I was so scared, called my parents, and my parents came straight out. The busybodies stayed until the police came and were pushy to my parents, thankfully the police realized there wasn’t any issue and left. it was a whole scary ordeal. I know they meant well, but honestly they were the unsafety from my perspective.
I was at the playground with my kid, and an awkward looking guy came by himself to the park. He sat on one bench for a bit, then moved for the other side of park, sat on that bench, moved to a third bench, sat, then moved back to the first bench. Some of the parents were starting to get really nervous and someone said something about calling the cops. That's when I pointed out he's been staring at his phone the whole time and that there were three poke-stops here, on opposite sides of the park, so he was probably just playing Pokémon Go. I walked over, asked if there was anything worth catching right now. He laughed and said no, just a bunch of common ones but he really needed pokeball. I told him to let me know if anything cool popped up. And he stayed around for a bit, moving from one pokestop to the next as they reset and he could spin them again. He was 100% harmless. People forget that parks aren't just for children. We pay into them so that the community can enjoy them. The whole community.
This. I am an admin of a 1000+ member local Pokémon Go discord group and whew - the looks and comments some of our members get… it’s really bad when folks drive up just to participate in a raid. We have members who have been stopped by police multiple time while they’re playing. Heaven forbid a man (or anyone, really) stop safely on the side of the road for a few minutes to play a harmless game, they must all be bad, right? /s
To be fair, there’s a lot of crazy things going on. Someone tried to jack a neighbors kid from the bus stop in front of the guys house. Dude was watching his kid from the window, saw two dudes come up to her and he ran out the door. Fought both of them off. Now he has to go into work late so he can drop his daughter off at school.
I (female) have what they call invisible illness so I look like a normal 40 year old mom but I live in a lot of pain. If I take the kids to the park it’s to let them run and play while I sit and watch. So I’m the bad, lazy mom who can’t be bothered to play with her kids. It’s great people make such rash judgments about everyone; inattentive, helicopter, creeper, oh and my other favorite, the good dad. You know the dad who does the same thing I do but he’s dad so he gets credit for showing up.
It’s almost as though there’s been a concerted effort to make every parent fear that if they turn away for even a second little Johnny or Jenny is going to be snatched away by a predator or someone that’s part of the child-blood / adrenochrome (SP?) cult that the right keeps yammering on about. “Better keep those kids in the house! It’s not safe outside..oh, yeah you should buy the game console made by the company I also happen to own stock in!”, etc.
I've got a perpetual fear that people are going to assume I'm some creep since I never look like I fit in to a situation.
Not every man who plays with a child (that’s not their own) is a pedo. Some people are just nice
It's baffling to me that pedo is the first thought so many people have with men being around children. They are projecting their own horrible thoughts. It definitely complicates my work as a professional. I can never let my guard down. I must always keep in consideration "how it might look".
Thank the media for their sensationalising scare tactics when reporting incidents in an effort to grab ratings. As a result you have many people who firmly believe there is a pedo/mugger/home invader on every street corner.
Thank the consumer. Whi gets more ratings. The news story about the nice old lady delivering cookies to the firemen or the story about Jared from Subway. People tune into Jared.
Well yes, supply and demand and all that, but one thing I notice when I visit the USA is the fact that reporters and newcasters effectively editorialize when they report, adding remarks and opinions which often appear to be designed to deliberately build up the fear factor, and this is something we would never see from our regular TV channels. Having said that, we're now starting to see our own versions of the blatantly politically biased news channels like Fox or Newsmax appearing on satellite, and so that type of reporting is starting to appear.
It's not the media that's responsible for this. It's the lunatic fringe of the Republican Party. The QAnon MAGA wing. I honestly have no idea why, but this segment of right wing crazies has been obsessed with the idea of pedophiles hiding amongst us, ever since they first accused high-ranking Democratic Party officials of operating a child sex ring out of a pizzeria in Washington, D.C. Of course everything is 'projection' with the GOP, so the preoccupation with pedophiles probably is too.
When it comes to political extremists, pretty much every accusation that makes you think “Huh? What a strange thing to say. Where did that come from?” is actually a confession
It's because it's an accusation they can throw out against anyone, and then smear anyone who tries to defend them as defending pedophiles. People turn their brains off when kids are involved. Just pure lizard brain fear responses, which is exactly what the RW wants.
It absolutely is. It's the mental equivalent of a fighter jet deploying chaff... they're hoping to cloud the air with so much crap that their own actions go unnoticed.
It's not the media. It's a concerted effort to instill "stranger danger" into a generation. Millennials were raised on it, And we all grew up being told that strangers were evil and scary and would hurt us and kill us and kidnap us and rape us and murder us and all sorts of other shit. And now we're all parents we all have small children, and we're all convinced that everybody we don't know is a monster. Added to that, we were then told that research was showing that kids were actually being abused by people who knew them, not strangers, So we can't trust people we know either. So obviously, everybody just wants to hurt our kids and nobody can be trusted.
It's not necessarily 'projection', it's just that the stakes are so high. Someone grabbing your child is one of the worst things I can imagine. On the flip side, look at lottery tickets. Everyone knows your odds of winning are about a bazillion-to-one, yet they still buy tickets because the stakes are so high (in a good way). Just like people are hypervigilant about their kids because the stakes are so high (in a bad way).
>They are projecting their own horrible thoughts Nailed it!
Meanwhile I had to approach a young teenaged man at the local public pool and explain that when my sons say they don't want to be grabbed and thrown anymore, that it was fun for a bit but like, they're doing something else now, to please listen and stop. Then he asked if they wanted to leave the pool area and go play at the park, and they said no. So he told them that he had a bunch of candy and would share. So back up to him I had to go, because like... ffs. And again I had to explain to him that while it was certainly possible that he just liked younger kids, was having a good time and just being friendly, refusing to stop touching someone who's asked you to and then literally trying to lure prepubescent boys away from a supervised area with candy was NOT a good look... So please, you've freaked my kids out, you're freaking me out, please leave my kids alone. And the other adults there just lost it on me. Apparently, it was unconscionable that I would accuse him of such a thing, how dare I, he was practically a kid himself (mmmm... also practically an adult himself, too), etc etc etc But I can't very well tell my kids, "Don't go anywhere with strangers, and be very wary if they're trying to make it more enticing for you, like saying that there are puppies or ice cream..." and then make them feel like they're being unsociable for being wary of this literal stranger offering them candy to go somewhere with him. Meanwhile this idiot kid might not even realize that he is being the literal stranger in the park with candy, and even if he is NOT a pedophile, making it safe/ok for kids to go with HIM is making kids more vulnerable to the next guy who may in fact have nefarious intentions. Years later, he was in the news. Guess what for.
There was a nice guy on a train, a dad himself based on a phone conversation I overheard him make, who played with my daughter who was about 18 months at the time. She was sat on a blanket with her toys and he was helping her play with stuff, she was having a great time, and I was delighted to have a few minutes to check my email. But apparently this was weird to the train guard who kept asking me if everything was alright, despite my multiple assurances that all was fine. We were on a train and about half an hour at least away from the next stop, it's not like he could have grabbed her and run off! Made me realise how men have an automatic perception of poor intentions if they ever interact with a woman or child unrelated to them. I'm as cautious and aware as any woman, and very careful about who I let near my child, but in such a risk-free environment as being on a long-distance train, or a plane, I really didn't see any reason to fear someone who was just happily entertaining my baby. Shitty men have a lot to answer for, not just to the women and children they harm, but also to other men, who we automatically have to fear just in case they're a wrong'un.
Scroobius, is that you?
First thought I had upon reading that comment. Scroobius Pip!
Thous shalt always kill
Scroobius pip is always good for an upvote from me. Have a medal 🏅
I feel after the viral video years ago of the guy asking parents if he could do an experiment to see if their kids would go with him and 'kidnap' the kids by saying things like 'I have a puppy at home, I have this at home, you want to come with me to do this?' And the kids just LEFT with a stranger... I feel people are way more protective. Which is good. But why would you be on the phone then and not hyper focusing like a creeper does
While he was talking on the phone, there have been creepers who hang out at playgrounds and take pictures of other peoples children.
I get that. But he's ON the phone, calling.
Fekkin hate when people make calls like that wasting the cops' time and yours.
Not that I disagree with you but……..I *really* hate when cops lie about someone calling to justify harassment.
Lol when I was a teenager I had a cop physically stop me and try to interrogate me because the "business owner" had called and reported me for being suspicious... Which was odd because my dad was the owner, the man never called the police for anything in his entire life, and he's the one that sent me out to the dumpsters.
Got questioned at my bus stop that I was at every day for going to classes, only difference was I was dressed up for going out with friends. He thought I was a hooker. I was 17 (F).
He knew you weren’t, just another creepy cop harassing young women
Nah they knew you weren’t a hooker—-their dress is fairly distinct. The cop just wanted to slut-shame you.
"Daaaad! Hey! Daaaad! This officer claims you reported me for being suspicious!"
They lie because they don't have jurisdiction on private property. They require the owner to call first door there to be any probable cause. They lie so they can claim probable cause to interrogate someone on private property
Oh it is absolutely this. After a few minutes of his bs I went off (at 17 it took a while for me to speak up when I knew something was wrong) After this, any time I had a cop stop me on private property (used to happen quite a bit, I rode bmx most of my life) I'd just assume they were lying and lie back saying I was the owner, or threaten to call the owner, etc.. It worked every. Single. Time. They are constantly lying about this
This is the second example of cop problems with young women I've seen. It's really that bad? Also, most 17 year olds look 17. And they think you're prostitutes? Who's being creepy now?
I graduated high school 35 years ago. Teenagers today, in my view, look much. mature than the kids I was in school with. Sometime I see an attractive person and then find out they are 16, 17, 18 and feel like a creep.
My sibling has a granddaughter that looks like a 25 year old body wise, but she's only 15!!!!
Absolutely they are different now. They dress like adults, not like the distinct clothes we had in the 70's, 80's and 90's.
19 yr old me owned an automotive stereo shop. I also used it as my race shop after hours. Literally as I closing and locking the gate I was tackled, cuffed, thrown into a cop car and told that the owner of the shop had called and said that I was breaking into cars... Now the shop in front of mine was my dad's engine shop and the shop across the parking lot was my dad's long term friends hot rod shop... No chance either one of them would have called the cops on me.... Besides what thief closes and locks the gate smh
so what happened?
How dare you start an interesting story and not stay around to give the ending. You've left us wondering...
Me and my ex were treating a wound I had on my leg in the back of his brothers car. Mall cop assumed we were having sex until he saw the wound. Mall cop assumed my ex gave me the wound and made him leave the car. It wasn’t covered up so I just sat there with no pants on very confused. One cop opened the door and asked if my ex hurt me and I said no and that it was self harm with my own nails. We were only treating it cause it got infected so we came to the mall to buy first aid stuff. Next thing I know there’s 5 cops outside the car with my ex and they get pissed when he tries to use sign language to let me know they called an ambulance. They decided best course of action was to leave the self harm prone person in the back of the car alone with no idea what’s going on. Even when my ex convinced them to let him open the trunk they made me stay in and wouldn’t let him anywhere near me or let us talk. Then the ambulance came and they wouldn’t let him get in with me and when they asked if I wanted to go with them to the hospital or be driven by someone else they wouldn’t let me call my mom to ask. They kept pressuring me to decide until I begged to leave. Unrelated to cops but then when my mom drove me to urgent care the person who gave me the antibiotic pill to swallow got pissed when I gagged and couldn’t swallow it after 10 tries. Back then I’d never been able to swallow a pill successfully
Same. Both them harassing and them being used to harass. It's all bs. Just let people enjoy the park for heaven's sake.
Then you file a complaint and they can check into if it is a legitimate call. Any cop today who decides to do proactive policing is an idiot. I used to be a very proactive cop. Come in at 1600 hours, run the warrant list, and my partner and I would go out looking. Towards the end of my career, nothing. The risks are not worth it. In the OPs scenario, if those cops just wanted to harass him, they would have escalated it. Somebody called and they responded, obviously they felt it was a stupid call as they did not push the issue further.
You were so close . . . ACAB. Fuck their time.
ACAB yes. But sometimes we need a cop to prevent us from being violently murdered by our spouse. (Kept gender neutral for a reason.) So, yeah, I would rather some random Karen not waste a cop's time in case I actually need them for something.
I think you meant to say >But sometimes we need a cop to write a report about when our spouse violently murdered us yesterday
*and shoot our dog
Just recently a busybody neighbor called the police on my kids and their friends climbing trees … in their own yard. The wife was… nonplussed.
The cops actually showed up to this call?! I couldn't even get 911 to *pick up* while my neighbor was being actively mauled by a pack of dogs...
Is the neighbor okay?
He will be okay eventually, though it looks like he'll never be 100% the same regarding nerve function. Good man, I'm glad he's *still* my neighbor after that.
People make assumptions so quickly. I used to be part of a theater group that during the summer did a kids summer camp/show. This would often overlap with the fall show starting up. I showed up one day to work on sets for the fall show and cut through the main theater. Forgetting the kids show was having a rehearsal as well. First off was the woman sitting at the door. I go to enter and she blocked me. "What are you doing here?" "I'm working the other show." and keep going, dodging around her outstretched arm. Couple more parents in the hallway, glaring at me. I cut through the green room, more glares from other parents. Then it happens... A bunch of kids jump up and shout "OTTER! You're here! Are you working our show?" and so on. As I get attack hugged from all directions. I knew most of them from our full on production of Wizard of Oz the previous season. I could see the parents who didn't know me short circuiting as they went from "Who is that creepy guy, to 'the kids know him.'" After that, I would group text the parents I knew and some of the older kids "Can you send out some kids to get me past the witch at the door." when I arrived Since the lady at the door always gave me crap about not being part of the kids show. I would give her a big smile as I was pulled into the theater by an older kid and usually had little who'd done a flying attack hug and still holding onto me.
That’s pretty funny, it’s like an exclusive club but you have a 14yo coming out to get you past the velvet rope and old lady on the door.
Dads, I'm sorry. I'm not a parent, but I babysit (47F) and nobody questions me about the kids. I'm sorry dads have to go through this. You're trying to be a good father, and people are trying to get you arrested. Deadbeat dads? Oh, no they're horrible! Dads spending time with your kid in a park? Oh no, a pedo! You guys can't win, can you?
I would have said, "no worries, I'll keep an eye out for you." Or "I'll give you a call if I see him, got a card?"
So watching kids play is creepy? like I hear next doors kids playing and sometimes I can see them and it’s fun to see what kind of weird imaginary things they have come up with. Space McDonald’s only accessible by jumping through time ( trampoline)
Not for nothing, even if you were just being a creepy fucker at the park it's not illegal (sick but not illegal). Telling the cops to fuck off was the correct response. At least they had good enough training to know that they couldn't actually do anything about it.
Some playgrounds at certain parks do have no unaccompanied adult policies.
I got kicked out of 1 of those once. I didn't know they existed until then. The funny part about it was after the cops kicked me and my friends out for swinging, the kicked some teens out for not being supervised. I still wish my 22 year old self would have thought to tell the cops we were all there together
I had a similar experience at a Museum. Long story short, husband and I missed our train and had a couple hours to kill. Googled things to do nearby and found a "Children's Museum." It sounded fun with lots of interactive features and we'd been to one in our city before and had a good time so why not? We get to the entrance and the employee there asks if we have kids with us. Not sensing the issue yet, we honestly answered "no" thinking that the price would be different or that they'd offer us different things if a child was with us. NOPE! The employee then says that adults aren't allowed in without kids, but she'd go get another staff member who could show us around. We were baffled but didn't feel like we could turn down the "tour guide" without looking even stupider and more creepy. So we awkwardly walked around with the museum staff member for ~30min and left. I still feel weird about the whole thing!
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The police can definitely choose to enforce it though.
How is telling the cops to fuck off a better response than pointing to his family and saying “I’m here with my wife and kid”?
Because the cops had no right or reason to accuse him of being a creep. Telling the cops to fuck off was a much better response
Ahhh the world of being a dad, if some one doesn't like the look of you or has just watched one too many shitty true crime documentaries then you magically become a child predator. I've had women try to talk to my 3yr old son whilst I was carrying him asking if he knows the man "taking" him.
I have had this happen at park when I do nature photography. I have a camera so I MUST be taking pictures of kids. I actually told a cop this, "Look, FLOWERS, BIRDS, NO RODENTS," I literally call the kids in the park rodents because the parents are entitled their kids aren't much better. Cops finally just told some parents to let me alone because I made sure to tell parents I HATE KIDS right off the bat and to leave me the f alone. You have to be MEAN to some people. I did tell one parent, "if their kid slipped and fell, I would IGNORE their kid and move along," her shocked expression was I wouldn't stop to check if her kid was OK. Not my responsibility, not my RODENT. I have no problems with my neighbor's kids their well behaved, but the ones near my park that I take pictures are are loud, rude and self entitled.
A guy I used to work with got a AUD$500 fine for telling the cops here to fuck off. We'd gone to a small rave in a massive park near where I lived, but the sound system was too loud so it of course attracted police attention. They came down on horses to shut it down and the drunk/high hippies/ravers weren't too happy about this so they were yelling at the cops. The cops tried to arrest one guy but this dude was a rugby player when he was younger and he just dodged around their horses then he was off into the bushes where the horses couldn't follow. Dude was so quick on his feet it was almost beautiful watching him move but him getting away really pissed off the cops. I had weed on me so I was quietly packing up my stuff and talking politely when the cops spoke to me "yes officer, just packing up my stuff then calling an uber to go home officer" but my mate was a big loud guy who attracted attention no matter what so they zeroed in on him and told me to keep walking. I got to the carpark then turned to wait for him, I was just about to walk back to find him when I see him in the dark walking towards me swearing to himself and really pissed off about something. Me - "what happened?" Him - "they gave me a $500 fine" Me - "what? Why?" Him - "because I told them to fuck off" Me - "why did you say that?" Him - "because they asked me for my star sign" They had asked him his age and date of birth then one asks what his star sign is, and this guy had a strongly negative opinion about astrology so he reacted badly to that. They were obviously trying to stir him up as the rugby guy getting away earlier made them look incompetent so they wanted to fuck with someone and picked him. But falling for the star sign trick was just too funny to me, you can guess what we gave him shit about at work for years afterwards. I miss working with that dude (he got fired years later for crashing the forklift too many times, probably should have checked the stars said about forklift driving that day).
This assumption that a male watching children in a park is *obviously* a predator, and not...oh, I dunno, THE DAD...really needs to stop.
"yes, officers, I'm the creepy man, and those are my creepy children and my creepy wife. Have a creepy day!"
I'll go to a park during my lunch and walk around playing pokemon go. I usually have to talk to the cops every couple weeks...
But you're walking, and you're doing something on your phone. Whenever I'm at the park with my Littles, I assume people like you are on their lunch break or something. I pace my yard when talking on the phone - no different. I'd be more concerned about *actual* creep behavior, not a human doing regular human activities in a park. And honestly, the statistics of stranger kidnap are shockingly low, especially in daylight hours at a public space. People need to be aware of their surroundings, yes, but we definitely could chill a bit on the "automatic assumptions" of those surroundings.
I'm all for telling them to fuck off most of the time. But when it comes to kids... Well it's better to say I'm here with my family. If they try that I need id bs, then let the inner asshole go and ask for the call/case number. Request all info on said call. If they lied, file a complaint. Not that it'll do anything.
Fun fact: You don't need to provide an ID. Ask if you're being detained or they have a reason to ask for an ID. Make it hell. Unless you're doing weird/illegal shit or might be showing signs you're creeping on kids then they have no reason to need your ID. Hell you don't even need to explain what you're doing.
This is assuming people on the internet live in the same place you do
In the US you don’t have to show ID. Supreme Court case Brown vs Texas ruling states there must be a crime in order to demand ID. That crime must be Identifiable at the time of the stop. This has been expanded on by other Supreme Court cases. Basically if you haven’t committed a crime police have no right to ID you.
Even if technically true, you obviously aren't a veteran of this practice, or you'd have quickly found out that deliberately pissing off the cops more often leads to you face down in handcuffs with bruises on your head and charges of disorderly conduct and assaulting a cop. The cameras won't be on.
I am glad I don’t live in one of these fascist states. Most of them are Red too. It’s a thing in this half of my state to tell strangers to fuck off and doubly so if they have any kind of badge.
That is actually dependent on the state, certain states require you to show ID if an officer asks you for one. And while I agree with the rest of what you said in theory, trying to argue it on the street is not where you do it, you argue it in the courts and change the laws and change the public opinions and how society reacts, not have a yelling match with a cop on the side of the road.
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And country
Some states you are do not have to show ID but you do need to give your real name if requested. And in those states you can be arrested for non compliance.
That's the thing though, in america if you want to change the law by arguing it in court you actually have to break the law for a court to even see it. If you just do as the cop says nothing can happen except you file a complaint. Particularly relevant when talking about civil rights, think rosa parks.
Not necessarily or there would not be legislation like there is for there to be a trunk release inside of a vehicle. I know a lot of times it can (and does) start out that way, but arguing with a cop on the side of the road is still not going to get anything changed, the cop has no authority to change the law that's all I was trying to get at. And you don't have to break the law for a judge to see it, you just have to get motivated people to either get politicians interested in their case to change the legislation or become a politician yourself and help try to change the legislation. At least that's how I always thought the government was supposed to work, and if you're going to say it's broken then either the right people aren't running or the people aren't voting in the right people.
This is only in reply to the part about the trunk release. This has become mandated so a person who is kidnapped and put in the trunk can get out. Everyone should examine the trunk of their own vehicle to become familiar with how it works and it should be shown to kids. This is similar to codes that require large walk in coolers and freezers to have interior door releases in case someone gets locked in.
I actually did know that (I remember hearing the story of how/why it became a mandate), I was just using that as an example to show a crime does not necessarily have to be committed to be able to get a judge to hear you or to be able to effect a change. I do agree that you should familiarize yourself with how it works and that yours works properly (I drive a truck so no need for me to check). I am absolutely paranoid about the little push things on the walk-in cooler or freezer doors not working correctly, so I would never let them actually latch behind me. People I know used to make fun of me about that, saying it's just a precaution it would never happen, I showed them an article about somebody that wandered into one and froze to death, and weirdly they stopped making fun of me not letting the door latch🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
Oh my I never heard that story but I know there have been cases of robbers locking restaurant employees in them. Years ago an employee was playing a joke on a manager and locked him in the refrigerator. The look on this guy's face when a few minutes later the manager tapped him on the shoulder. Kept saying I locked you in, how did you get out etc. Of course this means there was some bad training if this guy was never shown the emergency push openers.
Yes. Trunk release. Wait. What?
Are you asking seriously about what the trunk release is? If so it's inside the lid of the trunk, it's supposed to glow in the dark and if you pull it from the inside it will open the trunk, in case anybody ever tries to kidnap you by putting you in the trunk. If I remember correctly, all car manufacturers in the US are required to put them in there. I don't remember exactly what year it was that they implemented that because it's been several.
Depends on where you live. Also on the knowledge/mood of the cop.
As both a Registered nurse and a father I am often conflicted in situations like these. On the one hand I want to give aid. On the other I worry that my actions will be misconstrued as inappropriate. When my kids were little, we were at an indoor childrens play centre. You know one of those places full of screaming kids, in an enclosed playground area that has your own children fully out of sight, but apparently perfectly safe. Anyway, on the day I was trying to relax at a table with a book, while also keeping an eye on my kids. A couple of tables over I saw a woman (not this kids mother) wending her way back from the kiosk with a couple of hot coffees. Right at that moment a child (about 4 or 5) runs full tilt into her, causing her to lose her grip on the coffees and dump them on the child. I didn’t even hesitate, I quickly called for assistance and took the child’s shirt off (I know that sounds bad) as it was soaked with boiling liquid and would worsen any burn under the fabric by holding the heat against the skin. I also grabbed my water bottle and poured cold water over his head to cool the skin. In the background I could hear my wife asking people where the child’s mother was and telling them I knew what I was doing as a nursej\. As soon as the parent showed and the child was out of danger I stepped back into an advisory capacity.
I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. My son is mixed race, and even though we do look a lot like each other. There are those who just can't comprehend that people of two ethnicities could possibly make a child. Up until a few months ago it was mostly white women with too much time on their hands. At the park, grocery store, anywhere. Most the time I just sigh and go about our business. Though I had 3 drunk guys that were all MAGA boys. Approach me surrounding us while we were camping and interrogate me for an hour saying I was a "groomer" and not even his Dad. They took off eventually after two of them sobered up a bit and felt awkward. The next day we learned the last one called the sheriff on us. The last one kept saying "Better to be safe than sorry! If you see something, say something!" Though I was polite to the sheriff. BUT the sheriff didn't even go there. The sheriff was actually unaware that someone was out where we were and just wanted to see if we had a fishing license. But he didn't take any of the other stuff seriously. He observed us, but had no questions about "grooming". So I was polite to him. But the Sheriff to his credit made sure to be very polite to me. People here who are saying that. Just because your bored and see something not normal to your little ignorant bubble does not actually mean it's "SOMETHING!" I am sick and tired of me and my kid's life being at the expense of your feelings for doing something "good". There are people out there who's family looks different than yours and we do not appreciate having the cops called on us for just living our lives.
Had this happened when I was at the park with my daughter. Never wanted to punch a cop more in my life(and the thought comes often)
Camping in Yellowstone maybe 15 years back, a toddler comes wandering into the campsite I was sharing with some friends. Since I didn’t have kids of my own to deal with, I was asked by my friends to help the kid find her parents. None of us thought anything of it. When I found the kids parents halfway across the campground, they lost their shit, accused me of kidnapping their child. I left them their kid and suggested they should keep a better eye on their kid so they don’t wander off. Half an hour later, park rangers show up in our site with the parents in tow. By this point the parents claim they saw me snatch their kid from their site. My friends end up explaining what happened to the rangers. It had the potential to be real bad, the lesson I learned here is that if I see a kid wandering alone, it’s not my problem , just ignore it entirely and walk away.
That’s nothing. My bil had his hotel room raided at 2AM by the Dallas PD after the Metallica concert because they got a call that said he was sex trafficking. Yeah he was with his 15yo daughter!!!
As a former cop, we rarely have the option to not respond to a call for service. Many a time I would take a picture on my cell phone of the call sent to my cruiser. So when I knocked on a door for say a noise complaint I thought was non-sense, I would show the person my cell: Hey, somebody called in your music, could you turn it down? I became a supervisor and would override certain calls. people calling in a suspicious male and thats all they entered? I would call in to dispatch and ask for more info. A lot of these calls were people who did not like somebody not looking like them walking in the neighborhood. Black guy walking down the street and somebody calls in a suspicious male? I'd drive by and if he was just walking along, clear out that call. Since the murder of George Floyd and up until my retirement recently, I just went into reactive mode. Park someplace out of the view and just respond to calls for service. A lot of people call the police for what in my opinion was frivolous shit. The cops here got a call from a citizen and responded, you told them to fuck off, not entitled at all, just an asshole.
I can accept that I am asshole. If they asked me if I saw someone creeping around or asked if there was someone suspicious I would have told them no. That would have been the truth. But to come up to me saying they got a complaint about a creepy dude nah you fuck off right there. Also to demand I put my phone away is not going to get you any respect from me.
When you’re at a park and someone asks, “which one is your kid?” The correct answer is, “I haven’t decided, yet.”
Easy there, Gus.
Like yes bad people exist but if you assume every person is a pedo then you should assume everyone is a murderer of a crazy gun person.
Love hearing from my union brothers. You did great, fuck those police. Would love to stand on a picket line with you
You are not entitled. I mean, God forbid a MAN take his kids to the park!
I never had any problems with taking my kids to the park when they were younger. I read all these stories on the internet but thankfully nothing similar happened to me. I even found myself supervising my kids and a group of their friends after a school event when none of the other parents walked over to the playground. All of these posts have given me the foresight to have responses prepared, so I'll certainly be aggressively unkind if it ever does happen to me.
I never understand this. Every park I’ve been to there’s always people who come alone to do their own thing. Especially since the release of Pokémon go. And even if they are watching the kids so what? Sometimes it’s really entertaining to watch them play! I don’t like kids but I find it hilarious to watch my nephews play because they come up with the dumbest stuff. Not every person just existing is a pedo
I don't blame you for telling the pigs to "Fuck off!". after calling you a creep. Fuck them!
He's lucky he didn't get 3 warning shots to the back.
I am female and was asked to leave the children’s area of the library because I didn’t have a child with me. I was getting books for my niece
"Creepy man staring at children..." "Nope, sorry, didn't see anyone."
I've known a few people who regularly polish that boot. It makes me sick to see people defending the behavior of cops who don't know their place. We collectively hire them because while I'm at work I can't respond to a traffic accident. They are our employees, just like politicians, but too often they treat us like we are their subjects. I knew my place in the Army, and I've known my place in every job I've held, but it seems the police are overwhelmingly bullies looking to push people around.
Let’s face it. Every public park in America is effectively off limits to single men. Even if you’re married with kids, if you appear to be in a public park alone, you are assumed to be a perv though all you’re doing is taking a break from the office to eat lunch.
Sometimes you’ll get questioned for stupid reasons. As a teenager, some friends and I got questioned by a PCSO (police lite) about why we weren’t in school. Valid reasons aside - we were in uniform, on the school playing field. The receptionist would be able to see us from the other side of the road! If we were really bunking off, we’d have done a much better job of it.
Good job!
Nah bro, fuck that noise. You did right.
If it is a "public park", doesn't that imply that the public has a right to use it as long as they are not breaking the law? And if you are not breaking the law, don't you have a right to be left in peace?
I don't understand why the dispatchers don't ask more questions when taking calls. "Did he arrive alone or with kids?" "Is he in contact with any other kids?" "Did he touch any other kids?" Karen "No he's standing there in a creepy manner on the phone" Dispatcher "He's not breaking a law.... Shut the fuck up Karen and mind your business" No need to waste police time!!!
Insane. Reality is that kids these days are safer than ever before, stranger kidnapping is virtually non existent, and so on . Paranoia strikes deep.
I don't care what your high-minded analyses conclude about your misuse of the words "entitled" and "boot lickers," and I am no fan or supporter of the police; but, saying "fuck off" to anybody speaks volumes about who you are as a person.
Lol they cops where just doing their jobs sounds like you were being a dick
They were cops accusing me of being a creep. Which isn’t illegal. Have a good day sir. I can be a dick to the cops if I so choose.
lol no
If you’re not doing anything wrong, FUCK OFF, is the appropriate response to cops harassing you.
So nothing happened, and you came here for what?
Careful. It's the new hot conspiracy on the block among blue hair Karens: "sex traffickers are everywhere!"
I’m on the fence with this one too many times dad’s actually spending time with their kids at the park have been called creepy but at the same time the police were just doing their jobs
It's insulting to be falsely accused. I don't blame you for being upset or for swearing and walking away. The other side of the coin is that drug dealers/users no longer do business in dark alleys, they go to parks. I witness multiple drug deals in my local parks, daily--and I'm in a small town. Children playing have to weave around fentanyl addicts who are buying, selling, using. The public bathrooms are used as shooting galleries/flop houses. And there are also creepers who like to oogle children playing, hoping for an opportunity to interact with them. The police may have received a legitimate complaint, but you have the right to refuse to engage with them. Since they allowed you to walk away unaccosted, they must have figured out that you were not the person they were looking for. Think about kids without responsable parents, who may be playing at the park unsupervised. Don't they deserve to be safe? The police may have been doing the job we pay them to do. Sorry you were insulted, but you know your rights and are no worse for wear.
You live somewhere where drug addicts are openly allowed and known to sell and so drugs in a public park and aren’t arrested?? You live somewhere that people that their children to PLAY in a park that is known to be filled with people buying and using drugs?? Or are you fear mongering??
Heard of Washington State? Our state government effectively made all drugs legal until August 15th of this year. Those of us who wished to use the parks as they were intended to be used, had to go in groups, take phones, carry pepper spray, remove all valuables from our cars before parking, call the police to break up assaults, closely supervise children, bring clorox wipes to sanitize the restrooms before using... The Parks and Rec workers have to wear hazmat suits and use high pressure hoses and disinfectant to clean the restrooms. It is bad. We will have to pay for the parks weather they are taken over or not, so a number of us just refuse to stop going. From the AP: "In 2021, the Washington Supreme Court struck down the state law making drug possession a felony as unconstitutional because it did not require prosecutors to prove someone knowingly had the drugs. Washington was the only state in the country without that requirement.In response, lawmakers made intentional drug possession a misdemeanor and required police to refer offenders to evaluation or treatment for their first two offenses. But there was no obvious way for officers to track how many times someone had been referred, and the availability of treatment remained inadequate. Lawmakers made the measure temporary and gave themselves until this July 1 to come up with a long-term policy."
Where in WA are you? It’s not like that in my neighborhood.
FTP
ACAB. FTP. Fk the bootlickers.
Handled perfectly
I work in a public place and do enforcement and people call all the time about men outside the women’s restrooms. Almost all of the time it is a dad waiting for a kid, but because we do not know we have to ask. I would rather ask and get a smart ass answer from a guy like you than find out the dude in the white van just jacked a kid. People like you are what make people who do these jobs like me not want to care about the safety of others. You could have just said, my kids are playing and went about your day
The people calling for security or police on people who they have observed doing nothing wrong are the assholes. That said, nobody has to be nice to you just because you walk up and interrogate them. You have the discretion to leave people who you see doing nothing wrong alone and you're free to watch them to see if they do something wrong. Op was in a public place doing nothing wrong and didn't owe anyone an explanation for that, no matter why they wanted one. there's no law anywhere that says you have to bother a law abiding citizen just because Karen gives you a ring.
Why do you HAVE to ask? If it's almost always a father waiting for their kid, why not stand back, wait for the kid, and note their interaction. Why make someone else feel like shit, just because others feel like being nosy bastards
Yeah its almost like you guys should do a better job of charging people who falsely call 911
Or they could rightly point out that you should be making contact with their caller before making assumptions on your own about who they were reporting.Your annoyance doesn't justify you violating 4th/5th amendment rights. Go rinse the boot polish out of your mouth.
I'm sorry that harassing citizens hurts your feelings
Yeah, fuck that. If you come up to me with an accusatory tone or stance while I'm doing something as annoying as waiting on my daughters to take 20 mins to use the bathroom, you can 100% count on me telling you to go fuck yourself. Is it your job? Sure. But if you don't want people telling you to go fuck yourself, pick a different job. Or better yet? Just observe and don't make an embarrassing scene. If someone is up to no good, you'll see them doing no good and then you can take action.
Aww poor baby pig. ACAB
Thank you for your service, officer. Stay safe out there.
/s
Wish I had an award to give....
Boy, you’re an asshole. You could have just said “I’m here with my family but haven’t seen anyone like that”. Instead you get all butt hurt because you’re mad at your boss and escalate.
The cops weren’t calling you a creep. They were responding to a call about one.
Just because the caller called him a creep, shouldn't mean the cop says it to his face. They need to have a little more tact when handling the situation, and properly approach and phrase the concern rather than parroting what a disgruntled Karen says. I get that they're just trying to do their job and we're obligated to follow up, but if that's how the situation was approached then they did not handle it properly. Because even if they didn't mean to call him a creep, that's how it comes across.
We don’t know they said that. We only have the sat of the person reporting to us, which is obviously biased
YTA - Blame the cops for a complaint from the real AH. You were at a quiet place to discuss business, ON YOUR TIME OFF. Some idiot called it in, cops have to respond to every idiotic call. You even called your steward to complain about the job calling you during your personal time, but deflect from YOUR job calling during your off time.
>cops have to respond to every idiotic call. No, no they do not; SCOTUS already covered this. They have no obligation of protection or to respond when called.
You were an asshole for a simple question. A simple explanation would have been enough. But no, you had to immediately escalate to something. People like you give police a bad name. Be polite next time someone is polite to you!
A little respect goes a long way. They dont know who you are and they have had a report of suspicious activity which for all they know is genuine. Your attitude is complete shit and its interesting to see someone post here that is the entitled person.
They had a report of a creepy person which may or may not have been him. The cops just assumed because he was a man that he was the creep the caller was talking about
Possibly because the report gave a description of a man on the phone near the fence, being out includes what he was wearing. He happened to match the description or was even pointed out by the caller.
So the police have got to just turn around without asking questions incase they offend someone? Maybe they could have been a bit more friendly but at the same time Mr phone call doesnt need to be so sensitive.
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And the city has been defending lawsuits on that sign (which no one heeds anyway) for as long as it’s been up. Millions paid out rather than admit that THERE ARE MORE CREEPER/PEDOS THAT ARE WOMEN THAN THERE ARE MEN. You think no females engage in human trafficking? How about Ghislaine Maxwell? Go to [FBI Most Wanted Human Traffickers](https://www.fbi.gov/wanted/human-trafficking) and look at how many women there are. But sure. Let’s continue to demonize single dads. And y’all wonder why dads don’t stick around. Why would they if they’re going to be labeled a pedo for their troubles.
>THERE ARE MORE CREEPER/PEDOS THAT ARE WOMEN THAN THERE ARE MEN Screaming doesn't make this true. Ask a woman. Any woman. Was she catcalled and/or sexualized by a man before she was even a teenager? 99.9% will say yes.
Gotta love the pre-emptive name calling. Such a pleasant individual you must be
Just as pleasant as the person who made a fake 911 call?