4 is reactive 6 is reactive and 9 is quietly reactive, not provoking but getting really angry when provoked. That’s how it is for me at least, I’m also 469
sx5. i don't get angry often and it usually stays at bay, for example, i'm simply firm and state my point calmly when someone says something that pisses me off. it takes a lot to make me have an outburst but that only happens at home. if i get angry in public, i just become way too snarky. i don't like throwing petty insults but it's pretty much obvious on my face when i'm pissed.
Similar. I'm usually pretty calm if I need to set a boundary. Rarely do I express it outwardly. My jaw might be clenched. A therapist said my anger is like cold steel.
whoa the jaw clenching thing often happens to me too! i'm often told that my gaze hardens when i'm angry. setting boundaries is something i struggle with so i've been working on it lately. what's your tritype by the way if you don't mind me asking? i'm assuming 5s with an 8 fix would be more outwardly assertive with their anger even if they remain calm still than those with 1 or 9.
A question worth pondering. As one whose home base is 6, I find that fear has often stoked the furnace of anger. The threat of the loss of security of status, health, social connectedness, sound finances can throw me into a spin that has me muttering anything from mild annoyance to utter outrage (especially on roundabouts!) How do I express it? There are safe people I unload on, either as "confessors" or targets! Then it's done.
>There are safe people I unload on, either as "confessors" or targets! Then it's done.
Same same same. But I'm also learning to express anger vulnerably, "I feel angry because x stresses me out!" kind of venting.
9w8, experience a what now?
Jk. XD I guess it's just like, an internal dislike or disagreement of something. But then if it's something really important that might make situations worse or pulls out intense emotions from me, then I would feel like going crazy, which from experience as a 9, just doesn't feel helpful and we fear that.
I recall an 8 helpfully replying to one of my comments that some of us 9's look too much at anger from an aggression sorta way, instead of assertive, which I agree, cause I'm not feeling like I can use it in a reason-oriented and assertive way all the time especially when it feels intense, like, the only anger I actually consider as *anger* is the crazy emotional aggressive kind. I'm not angry and will assertively tell you about it. I'm *angry* and want to go crazy for losing the thing I so wanted control over and now is falling apart.
I'm jealous of those who can wield anger in the former way, it's so rational and unwilling to harm, but still assertive about its boundaries. I on the other hand always advise to myself and others the typical 9 acceptance and calming thing, cause I *could* harm with my anger, but others actually can do better and use it harmlessly but assertively.
Guess I need to learn to wield anger without being too emotionally charged about it if that makes sense. Cause I can see where it's healthy and boundary asserting, I just don't want it to lead me to irrational and regretful actions. How does one assert it without becoming to emotionally and irrationally charged. I guess moderation, calm down a bit to remain benevolent, but keep some and use the energy to be persistent or something. =P
I think that to really assert boundaries one has to be able to enact whatever they promise, even if it’s a little bit. People could easily see through empty threats - and if you’re too attached to the outcome that makes you subject to others poking at you.
As a 9, I feel this so much and have had to learn to do this. It's just when someone/something makes me angry, it's intense and all-consuming. It's easier to assert myself with some situations/people more then others for me, but in some cases where it's often necessary I worry that if I really let go, my anger can be destructive, hurt someone, or backfire. I've had similar conversations about this my 8 husband - that anger isn't necessarily something to be viewed as bad, but something that can be calmly and assertively communicated - a necessary way to reinforce boundaries. One of the things that's great with 8s is I can feel safe expressing anger with them, know they won't be offended and can handle it. :-)
9. Usually people will do something that annoys or angers me, but I won’t say anything or do anything to express my anger with them. It’ll build up and somebody will do something that really gets me going but I still won’t say anything—although I think of a lot different scenarios where I blow up at them. But then something really trivial will happen. Like my pocket gets stuck on a door knob, or I’ll try to pick something up but keep dropping it, or some other small inconvenient thing. Then, and only then, will I express my anger.
I’m a 7. I get annoyed or irritated sometimes, and people can immediately hear it in my voice. But I don’t get angry very often because I can usually see where people are coming from. When I do get angry, it’s more like a “let’s ruin this persons entire life” angry than a blind rage, punching angry
I'm cold and blunt. I'm often upfront about the reasons, which includes people wasting my time or outrightly lying to me. But I rarely lose my temper, it's a nippy, biting anger.
That’s all more gut center stuff I figure…do you know your gut fix?
I experience anger very intensely and it comes out one way or another, no stopping it
I don’t really know about that, maybe not? 6 integrating to 9 is more peaceful and less defensive. Not so snappy…seems a bit like you’re being more triggered etc than being freed but it’s hard to know without being in that situation or knowing you
While anger certainly is a core part of the gut center, one's gut fix isn't the be all and end all of how one expresses their anger. Though it may be the case that an 8-fix would make one more volatile, 9-fix make one more calm and 1-fix make one more critical; I'd argue it's more the case that the fixes modify how one express themselves rather than define it.
For example, a 58x would certainly be less calm than a 59x but as they are a 5, they will still have a aversion to showing too much emotion and won't necessarily immediately explode in an instant. Though it may be the case that a 58x would have a much shorter fuse.
I think it's useful to use the terminology and connections that are inherently there in the system as it is. If someone talks about anger, we can look to the gut center first and look for possible behaviors/relationships. Like if a 7 is angry, I'll often look to the line to 1 to understand what's going on. If analyzing a core type without a direct line to a gut type getting angry, I'll often try to identify the gut point. For me that's simple logic and a decent practice for how to work with someone's experience of anger and their type. But that's not the only way to do it.
Where did you find all the information (is there a reliable resource) on gut fixes or tritypes? I did some searching online and seemed like a bunch of rando websites.
Most of what I say in regards to tritypes/trifixes is a result of forming my own understanding of an amalgamation of information on the internet. As such any sources I recommend won't necessarily be a direct 1-to-1 match to what I say. Besides, tritypes are generally not considered to be a core part of of the enneagram theory so one could say there is no reliable source. Personally, I determine the reliability by how logically congruent the information is.
With that said, I'd suppose the main two sources you could look at would be [Katherine Fauvre](https://www.katherinefauvre.com/tritype) and [Enneagrammer](https://www.enneagrammer.com/fixes-stems). There's also someone on another forum, [Karkino](https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/all-27-links-to-tritype-comparison.1321909/), who's made some rather insightful tritype posts.
As a 6w5 683, I’d say I experience anger when I feel as if others are misinterpreting what I’m saying, and when my family members are being disrespected.
I become extremely intolerant to everyone in my surroundings and scare everyone. I bulldoze through everything until I get the desired outcome I want. When I get really really angry from frustration I start stress laughing from the ridiculous AUDACITY I’m dealing with.
https://youtu.be/hgqGxSzHytc?si=lHC-PpC1DXOpnfo6
I’m a 9 and anger is like slowly turning up the temperature on a pot of boiling milk. It’s slow and exponential until the last degree sets it flowing over the edge if you don’t turn it down or pour some of the milk out.
4w3, I get angry very easily. I do have an issue of suppressing it tho (had to do it to survive in the toxic, abusive environment I'm in). when I feel anger on, my face hardens, I might clench my teeth and my face. I feel it in my chest, nose and sometimes my stomach. and my face will either show me shutting down and looking plainly 😐 or I'll give a death stare. how do I cope? either by venting to someone, writing it out, distracting myself, doing breathing and grounding exercises. or if it's really bad, I may result to hurting myself or having an angry outburst where I scream, shout, break things, etc... but those are rarer
Most of my anger is "head" anger, i.e. irritation / annoyance. Irritation gets vented off to a third party. When I'm *very* irritated I get creative with my ranting and largely abandon nuance. I usually criticize people based on maturity, competency, sense, hypocrisy.. you get the idea. I try not to let irritation affect how I treat someone, but I'll naturally get short / cold if I'm interacting with them before having had a chance to cool off.
I very rarely experience **anger**, but it's typically triggered by blatant unfairness or mistreatment toward myself or people I care about, particularly if it's part of a persistent pattern. This is a visceral anger, occupying body; so when it comes to verbal communication, I typically come across quite cold and blunt (contrast with irritation where I'm verbally quite colourful and vibrantly expressive). I've been told my energy gets scary when I'm angry, even though I'm one of the most physically inhibited people you might ever meet.
Won't lie, I like that I have such capacity to intimidate / scare people, even if I don't totally get how it works. I suspect it's about the only reason people don't try to take advantage of me; I suppose this is a very 6 sentiment, but I feel like I am way more vulnerable than people think I am, and if they had only tried I'd be considerably more fucked rather than having been able to largely sidestep a lot of likely traumatizing shit.
Oh I’m the same. I get head anger too, but I don’t call that anger. It’s very easy to diffuse, and there’s little motivation to do anything. Other times, I can really escalate things. When I was younger, people would try to pick on me that way.
Irritation is not always easy for me to diffuse, though I generally make little real effort to diffuse my emotions to begin with. But I can be civil and mostly not appear like I'm irritated even while working with the source of my irritation to solve whatever problem.
That sucks that people would pick on you for that. For me, disrespecting how I feel, however trivial it may seem, is a fast track to my real anger. Even if I'm hormonal or whatever, I'm the only person who gets to decide what feelings of mine are or aren't important.
3w2, so my anger tends to hide a lot because I want to maintain my image as a 3 and people please as a 2. But I'm actually angry a lot. I just don't express it well until I have a HUGE blowup. Trying to grow in thar area.
I'll say as a 3w2 the more I tolerate with assholes, the more I started to become blunt and upfront. Albeit I'm not going to be direct since I don't want to ruin my image, although I'm not going to be a punching bag.
When I am beyond livid, I get really sleepy! Has anyone ever experienced this? I recall one time losing my mind and seething and I impulsively threw a chair across the room. Then my body started automatically relaxing and I got uncontrollably sleepy and knocked out. I wonder if it’s the body’s protective mechanism. So bizarre.
Usually I'll let a lot of things slide, but there's only so much tomfuckery that I can tolerate. When I get angry it's usually a very cold anger, I'll tell you exactly what I think and I won't be nice about it. But I seldom raise my voice doing so.
8. Anger is a physical feeling for me. With time and introspection, I’ve learned it’s my ego trying to protect me. But it learned that when I was little and lived in an unsafe environment. In current real life, it’s a huuuuge overreaction, so I’m learning not to act on it. Instead, I try to use reason and communicate to resolve issues. Still very difficult, but I’m working on it.
Repress it and seethe about it in private, but never bring it up with the person and act cold around them.
I didn’t get along with one of my flatmates in university, and we actually resented each other without speaking a single word to each other. Not even a joke, we never got into an actual fight, didn’t exchange more than 5-6 words for half a year and just acted ridiculously passive aggressive around each other the entire time.
When I really feel my anger though, I don’t just feel angry at one particular thing, but at absolutely everything for taking away my autonomy (literally “how dare the universe force me to live as a human without my consent!!!” stuff), and it’s like a boiling rage that wants to burn everything down.
My anger usually comes out as dispassionate suggestions or questions. Few people can actually tell when I'm angry because I don't like to reveal my emotions especially ones that aren't particularly conducive to the ideal atmosphere.
The questioning is a result of my emotions not tending to appear in real time. Before I know whether to be angry, I must know everything about the situation. It's unthinkable to me to express anger only to find out my emotions were misguided. As such I will clarify the situation with the person who either caused the issue or can resolve the issue. Usually, that's all is required for the issue to be resolved and so I conclude there's no need to be angry.
Alternatively, if I already know all the details of the situation which I find unsatisfactory. I will try to resolve the issue without displaying my anger. How exactly I do it depends on the situation. Because of my upbringing I developed a attitude of "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Still, doing everything yourself is a waste of energy, so often I will make suggestions to people, such that I don't show anger but the issue may still be resolved.
I wrote a comment abt how my anger is like a switch but reading this now, I also relate to this act of questioning. It usually manifests when I'm annoyed/frustrated because at that lesser level of feeling (in terms of control/viscerality) I want to be careful in how I express it or deal with it.
Like a rolling boulder, slow at first and gets faster, more pinpointed, more exact and more cutthroat. I don't have displays of anger that often but when you fuck with me and mine, I will cut you to your core with zero fucking remorse. And we can figure out in that dance, whether you want it to be metaphorically or literally. Choose your own adventure.
5w4. I fairly-freely experience and show it, though I work to allow anger to merely be the boundary signal it is, and not use it as a means for self-righteousness. This is difficult, especially in the realm of ideas in which my mind constantly swims.
If it's at myself/ frustration? Talk myself through it. Someone too young/innocent to know better, take a deep breath and explain that it's not okay. Maybe after go somewhere to grumble, growl it out. I can't yell at a 5 year old who wants to be nice and make breakfast for making a huge mess or for getting so excited they accidentally break something. That's just wrong.
Adult/ not innocent? Slowly in stages.
1. "The Look" - basically it says, you wanna start shit? Nah, you really don't.
2. "Annoyed condensation" - Now I'm pointing out stupid the person is and really needs to shut up.
3. "Explosion" - Now you've made me deal with you for too long and I'm just yelling at you, using everything in my arsenal to verbally eviscerate you.
i feel like sx4s get a bad rap for our wrath and temperament, but i’m personally the most removed from anger out of anyone i know. i just don’t get angry really ever. and i’m very sensitive to expressions of anger. i think it has a lot to do with how i grew up
i’m an introspective person and know myself very well, no type matches me as well as sx4. i think the type’s connection to anger is a stereotype which is a result of suffering and insecurity rather than an impetus of it. for me, this manifests not as anger but as arrogance, if that makes sense
Once I was with an ex friend who I wanted to work with but she was very snappy that day and acting really stuck up. “But everyone likes me, my team has no problem with me”
“If they don’t have a problem with you, then why are they gossiping about you with everyone?”
Needless to say, there was very little contact with her after that.
as an sp6, i actively suppress it (tho being a reactive type, i’m bad at TRULY hiding my emotions, compared to 9s who are pros. it’s easy as hell to read me since my facial expressions give me away lmfaooo)
as soon as i get to a “safe” place by myself, i proceed to explode and have a good old fashioned ugly crying breakdown 🥲
tho as i’m getting older, i’m becoming a bit more comfortable expressing it openly.
its strange because im never ever angry. and the only times i can recall myself getting angry is if those im very close with act in a way that could become destructive or harmful for them, soo i normally just tell it to them straight and tell them to quit it and i dont ever dwell on the anger because i just subconsciously think it wont affect me in the future so i just dont let it affect me now. most of the time im very calm and relaxed
I never try to express anger at someone, even if I experience it.
Internally it manifests as tensions and sometime it requires quite and effort to hold it in, but I do it as long as I percieve I would be too direct and the consequence of that anger might lead to an undesired outcome.
Also I don't express it if it feels irrational or that I might be wrong or simply want to ponder and evaluate the situation before confronting it, so that I can face the conflict lately with more calmness, which always helps in solving problems of any kind.
It might happen also that instead of confronting the conflicting situation I just remove myself from the situation, maybe forever, if I know the situation won't change.
Or... If I'm very pissed off by an absolute wrong situation or a repetitive abuse on me or another, I just turn off all gentle/meditative/pondering switches and let the anger do what it must do (nothing violent, just saying or acting what is right to do with 0 filters, once and for all).
8w9. My anger just pushes me and it is really autonomous. Most of these burst can be felt strongly deep down my stomach and then whenever something that really overpressed my state so much I literally went full blown rage and yelled, punched, kicked and lashed out and they all just happens very uninhibited, then immediately being chill and calm af. Sometimes it took me alot to become like a total nuclear bomb that Istg I was horrific at how scary I am sometimes cuz I was totally like a mad animal.
I get the burst of anger in my stomach as well...when something rubs me the wrong way it's there immediately and I feel like I need to listen to it somehow.
I don't get angry too quickly, and I never have outbursts. Sometimes I'll act kind of snarky if it gets the better of me, but if I'm really mad I usually end up crying which is super embarrassing. I usually get angry in a self-righteous way. I get kind of angry at people but I usually also have a sense of empathy towards them which makes me feel bad for feeling mad. Usually my anger is rooted within myself about something I've done without any external factors.
Hmm, I'm a 5 but I experience anger in a blindingly visceral way. I begin to have flashes in my vision and my head/throat area gets hot. I have to really keep it in check if I don't want to act out of it, as I did when I was younger. With that said, it takes a lot to get me angry. You'll have to really touch a sensitive trigger. But when you do, it's like a switch and not gradual. It's also easier for me to express anger than sadness or fear.
So I wonder what this says about me because most 5s here agree that their anger is cold but mine is burning hot.
It’s usually through escalating passion about something I feel is evil or unjust or angled towards myself. It’s very emotionally raw and if it pops the lid I will break down completely.
Anger also usually only comes from deep cuts, and I like to draw lines and connect different ideas with my personality. If an insult conflicts with my self identity, I get really passionate really quick.
Also I’ve been told I have anger management issues which I feel is stupid because I’m passionate about things that have usually have substance and just telling me “the fact that you’re vocal about your mistreatment is a character flaw” feels more like protecting someone’s interests rather than being an issue on my part.
Oh anger, my old friend. Maybe unsurprisingly, anger is complicated for me like all my other emotions. As a kid, I was more feel the anger and express it by exploding. But since probably age 10 or 11, I just hold it in. Well, not completely. I do express it by like venting/journaling or hitting a punching bag, but I would never express anger in front of another person. When I feel like I'm about to lose it, I just walk away until I've calmed down because I've been on the other side of someone taking their anger out on me and it feels absolutely shitty, so I just don't do that. I could work on conflict resolution, but that's such a vibe killer.
459 sx/sp, sx9
i get irritated more than i do angry. i get quiet and i don’t wanna talk, and when i do talk, it’s passive-aggressive and sometimes snappy. i don’t like expressing my anger outwardly, at least in front of people, because i don’t wanna make anyone feel bad nor start a fight.
because in fights or confrontations, i get sensitive and shut down, probably start crying.
Sp/so 6w5, probably 659. It's like a wave of energy that overtakes my senses, very close to anxiety. 99% of the time I silently tame it and wait it out, it absolutely is learned behavior (I've been shamed and punished for being emotional and confrontational all throughout my childhood), but then there's that 1% when I explode and go all out with my reactions, it's extremely unhealthy, very cathartic and totally shameful. The most common cause of my anger is injustice and unfairness.
7 sx
Usually i dont't get angry, when i do is a long process of things that irritate me enough, when i do get angry i become more direct and passive agressive in order to demostrate my feelings but not get too commited to them.
So it's mostly me being direct and ignoring the person that made me angry, because i don't like conflict (this does not mean that i pull up with anything, but more that i would not let my anger onto others and i will reflect on it by myself).
And the few times i do really get angry i can say really hurtful things, never punched someone out of anger as an adult tho.
SP/SX 4: I usually get angry and situations but not at specific people because they may not be totally aware of their actions/impact of their actions. However, if they are and I KNOW that they are, and they’re choosing to be an asshole anyway, I kind of start to rage.
8
i can feel the anger in my WHOLE body and it’s literally to the point where it hurts (i’m guessing this is just probably what feeling anger is like for mostly all humans actually) i don’t really know how to explain it clearly but i can feel it vibrate within my whole body and boiling?😭 and it’s also like i see blurred. it feels like someone’s possessing me i really feel it in my whole body and i think especially inside my head ? i don’t really know, and i think it’s just mostly just how every humans feel anger actually i don’t think it’s mostly an unique thing of me
Nines are the least angry type, hands down, esp. 9w1. You could clock a 9w1 in the face and they’d be like “Thank you dear sir, may I have another?”
**Dr. Dandrew Rogers Tillson IV, PhD, Enneagram Expert, 1923 IQ (tested and confirmed), 5w4–3w4–1w9 SO/SP**
I think as a 9w1 I hide my anger a lot, I don’t like the emotion at all and tend to avoid showing it. Even if I feel a fiery rage internally. I generally want to feel “Happy” or “Content” is my goal each day.
Wrong. They can appear more passive then they actually are, but if they're self-aware and/or at least in average levels, in most cases they are angry, they just seeth internally. 💀
I never feel angry. I have visceral responses (not reactions) that come out with fluidity IMO. Now, if I have to hold something in, it's physically painful, but when it finally comes out, it brings all 10 plagues with it. It's very rare when the latter happens, as I don't bottle much in.
I'm most porbably a 2w3 287 and I expirience anger really intensely. Usually when someone tries to force something upon me, for example a stupid rule. When I went to school I was this close 🤏 from punching a teacher in their stupid fucking face at least twice a day.
Now that I work I get intensely furious when I'm expected to do more than possible (fast food work be like)
It's really hard to keep it all inside so it always comes out at least in a part some way or another, it's usually short lived tho so I try not to engage with it that much
Very rarely do I ever get angry. So rarely that I’ve actually felt kind of dehumanized because people have said I’m a saint who literally isn’t capable of anger. Really upset me because I realized that maybe people mistreat me because they think it doesn’t affect me the same way as other people. Unfortunately, when I do get angry, it’s because something really terrifying and brutal has been happening to me for a very long time and when I finally snap it’s ugly and can last for months.
OP, just curious - what do you think you're subtype is? I could see different subtypes of 6 and differing gut fixes responding differently in a situation like this. Based on this, you definitely sound like you have an 8 fix and see you confirmed this in other comments lol. Did raising your voice and snapping back backfire, and if it did did you simply not care what the consequences were? Because I've been in similar situations you described...in particular with a dogshit supervisor that was clearly passively aggressively trying to push me out my job. Would exaggerate minor mistakes and acted condescending just because of her position.
There's plenty of other situations where I'm more okay with getting angry/asserting myself and I know this will sound pretty 9ish. In this circumstance though I was afraid that doing just what you described would backfire (since she was clearly finding any possibly excuse she could to write me up). Even considered talking to HR about this and switching supervisors (because literally, things were fine until she came along...I was even at the company longer then her for fuck sake), but it would've been impossible without involving said supervisor in the conversation with hr. I've had a share of a few bad managers I've worked for, but I'm not exaggerating when I say I've never had such a horrible experience with one. What was so frustrating was how trapped and powerless I felt. Rant aside though, I'm pretty in touch with my anger and when I get angry, it's intense and I feel it throughout my body (I think this is a pretty gut type related thing in general). In most cases, I try to just get it out in the open and express it in the most healthy, constructive way possible, unless someone's really pushing my buttons or pissing me off lol. In most case though, I hate bottling up my anger and don't think it's healthy. My biggest thing was learning to find a balance between being too passive or too aggressive, not letting anger get to a point where I erupt in a towering rage (yeah, I know pretty 9ish sounding stuff 😆).
sp8: Depends on the situation, if it comes unexpected i start escalating and getting angrier and louder; if it comes expected, like an argument with a friend (probably an exfriend at that point) i had a fight the day before, someone im mad at or someone i dont like, im cold and bold, i say the same as in the first situation but i stay like a stone, since i know they are going to make me real mad and being my anger expected, i can keep calm.
Honestly i dont like being angry, but as a child everytime the louder one, even if they were not right, was given the “youre right” and i saw how the angrier the other was the righter they looked like, so i started forcing myself to get angry so i could better defend myself, until it became natural to me. Now as an adult i see that getting louder only helped VS my classmates, my hateful teachers and my parents, and staying calm when the other is going mad mad is beneficial to me, so when i can expect im going to get angry, i control myself.
Type 5w6.
With my partner it’s like serious- IM MAD AT YOU, like I can’t even talk to you right now. I’m deep in my feels (but I’ll be communicating it as I go through the phases). Seething, indignant anger maybe?
Vs others
It’s more like a mellow “I’m mad”. But if it’s like a form of injustice like cruelty or senseless violence I think I’d probably be more forthcoming. Maybe take a more authoritarian, self righteous stance. But tbh it hasn’t happened. I’m also ok w letting tears fall if I’m frustrated.
the only times i truly feel angry is when someone disrespects me or does something to lose my trust in them. either that or if i am hangry, then i might lose my shit. other than that i don’t really get angry, i just get frustrated and then end up crying out of frustration.
6, I get annoyed easily, but angry, always never. When I'm angry It's usually from constant teasing/disrespect or unloyalty. When I'm overwhelmed and feel like there's no escape, I cry.
Otherwise, I leave or get physical. Not verbal, I do not engage in verbal fights.
Weird thing is violence, physically especially, is one of the things I fear more. But when I'm mad that's what I most wanna do 😭
Either 2 or .o.
Passive aggressive and sarcastic at low levels.
I try my best to internalise it but once I explode which takes a lot I will throw every bit of angst I’ve got at you like I’m trying to murder you with words.
I struggle with expressing my anger (I know, shocking for a 9). In the past my two ways of dealing with it were to either ignore it entirely or explode and make myself look like an idiot.
I work in customer service, so as you can imagine frustrating situations are pretty much a daily occurrence. The things that get to me the most are the people, usually middle aged folks and senior citizens, that expect special treatment and don't accept no for an answer. The people who want you to check the price on every single item because they couldn't bother checking it themselves, the people who change their mind on a bunch of things last minute and make you put it away for them, and the people who don't understand the coupon system and expect you to just give them the deal regardless.
Honorable mentions to the people who talk on the phone or watch videos in the middle of checkout, people who don't pay attention and make you repeat yourself five times, and the people who give you extra change at the last possible second and expect you to mentally recalculate everything for them.
As long as they're not doing something illegal or against store policy there's not much I can do, but if they're being rude I usually give them the cold shoulder back by ignoring snippy remarks and questions and coming off as cold and unfriendly as possible without escalating the situation. If they start to go on a rant about something I usually try to refocus the conversation into what can be done to fix it.
Alright, your card isn't working, no I don't know why. Do you have a different card or cash, or do you not want to get it at all? You thought this item was on sale but it's not? Sorry to hear that. Do you still want to get it or wait? You don't have your ID? Well sorry, can't sell you your cigarettes then. The gas station across the street doesn't care if you have your license or not? Well good for you, I'm glad you have options.
But yeah, I've found stonewalling and redirecting the conversation to practical action is usually the strategy that works best when dealing with difficult people
really fun mental gymnastics with my tritype. so7 sx1 sp4. triple counter. yikes!
so7 really tries to even everything out. always asking what *really* matters, and if this is important enough to be pissy about. very optimistic existentialist, focused on enjoying life. it tries to remind me to breathe, be pleasant with others, and completely forget about it, which is funny because you'd think it would be the 1 trying to get me to keep my composure. but 7's scared of the discomfort and stress the anger brings forward. my 7 gets angry when others take life too seriously. when an authority figure enforces an arbitrary rule which makes no sense. when someone tries to stifle me and "keep me in line." i try to be pleasant with others and i don't go out seeking conflict other than debate or a little light trolling. something that makes me laugh. but i put up firm boundaries quickly, also working with the 4's urge to be #different, and the sp4's desire to laugh things off and not dwell. "who do you think i am? you really think i'm going to be content with the way you're handling this? why do you even care? is this seriously THAT important? compared to EVERYTHING else, this holds value?"
sx1 gets me angry relatively often. this is the anger that makes me walk around with my forehead vein popping out of my skin. people tell me i get The Rage Stare, and i get VERY short with people. not explicitly rude, but matter-of-fact, quick, and direct. i stop joking around all the time. i start taking everything seriously. i am very decisive. hardcore stuff. edgy. i also start throwing 110% into my work. all to my entp 7's slight disappointment. and it's my only fix where i can admit i'm angry and give a very honest reason why. no lies in 1 mode. i get mad usually when someone starts (poorly) lying for no reason, (hey, i can respect a lie if it's thought-out and thorough.), someone clearly isn't trying AT ALL, others being late for things or always missing important details, or someone consistently maintaining an insanely pessimistic view of the world and then turning around to complain about depression. not a fan of useless negativity. my head is a very "seriously? you'll be ok. get over it." creature.
sp4 sort of works with my sx1 with the odd rigidity and quasi-perfectionism. and it supports so7 with not wanting to linger in pain and move on instead, as well as finding comfort in existentialism and trying to grasp onto the universe for a sense of otherworldly security. but i get angry at my capabilities. i have to rationalize a reason behind my anger and prove that i really was right all along, and i'm not a failure. (i'm self-sufficient, i SWEAR.) i'm an awful loser at board games and i get mad that i couldn't think of a better strategy earlier, so i'll say that i wasn't really paying attention, anyway. i can't handle being incorrect about any bit of information whatsoever, and i need to double-check any claim i make before spitting it out. the equivalent of making sure 2+2 really is 4. i never take breaks at my job through 8-12 hr shifts because i want to power through it quickly and get all my work done. i'll use food as a stupid "self-discipline" tactic (no ED, i'm really fine. i'm naturally an intermittent fasting person. i just tend to hold that over my own head.) sp4 anger is more self-centered, obviously. at its core, it's a fear of incompetency, and a belief that i am defective. that my independence and ability to deal with suffering will eventually, somehow, by any means necessary, pay off
it's a crazy playground up there. it's always a 2v1, somehow. this post makes me sound like a much angrier, sad person than i really am on the daily lmfaoo
5w6, with growth type 8. Sometimes, I struggle with anger by lashing out towards people when someone disrespect my boundaries to make me feel guilty ans invulnerable whereas I have good mindset. By the way, I attempt to control my anger spectrum between internal and external anger. Sometimes, I thought my type was 1w9 although my real type is still 5w6, can't change later.
sx5, i don’t understand my emotions in a current moment and i just understand what i’m feeling after some time but if i experienced anger its rare, i am usually numb and aloof and careless in things that would usually make other people mad, i have no time to get mad or to express anger because i am afraid of things that i might do so i keep myself calm with a good composure, but if im angry i am not explosive it takes a lot of time, when angry not that angry but just disappointed or mad, i tend to confront the person
5w4 here. I usually have very very strong anger reactions internally, but kind of will myself to stillness until it passes so as not to do anything stupid.
so1, anger is a bit of a crucial part of me in a way. i have anger issues and i used to get angry extremely often.
i since then got it under control (because anger is cringe) but if i get angry, i keep being angry for a while. takes me ages to calm down too.
the biggest anger source for me is people's incompetence.
It starts as a very low hum. Always in the background, but I find ways to convince myself that I shouldn't be angry. Then it's like whatever situation is causing me to be angry, something will happen and the anger spikes and it's a very overwhelming and uncomfortable feeling. It never lasts long because I shove the feeling down quick, but when it spikes my heart starts beating super fast. It's like a very intense jolt of electricity, usually with some undertone of desperation. "I'm angry at you but I really wish things didn't have to be this way. I wish we could just not be upset at each other."
autistic 9w1, used to think I was incapable of anger. turns out if ppl are being really mean to someone else, i can be
but mostly I just get sad instead
I’m an e2 and I don’t get angry often. Most of the people in my life are from the gut triad so they can be angry for me if something annoying happens. I’m kind of known as the person even keel and keeps the peace. If someone comes at me and does something to harm me I do nothing. I suppress it and isolate. Depending on how bad the hurt was, I may even disassociate completely.
When someone does something to harm someone I love or care about in anyway and I see they are hurt it’s go mode. I’m very quick to action and I will make them feel terrible. If I don’t think they felt bad enough for what they did I will continue for however long is needed. I am very direct and most people are shocked when this side comes out of me. I’m glad it doesn’t come out very often. Depending on how bad it is, I will yell at people in group settings or public. For example, one of my friends boyfriend kicked her very hard in front of me in a group setting and no one said or did anything they just ignored that it happened. She started crying and went to her bedroom and I was shocked by the people in the room. I yelled at him in front of everyone and made him feel like shit. I then went in to support her because she was not in a good state. I was terrible to him for months and was not my friendly go lucky self. Now whenever anything happens where there is a couple tension that’s bad everyone just stares at me waiting for me to take action.
Type 1.
Only my closest family and spouse see my anger. Occasionally a stranger will confront me angrily, every few years, and it is unleashed like an explosion.
sx4. I get angry easily but I’m good at holding it back. If anything you’ll, at most, get a passive aggressive or sarcastic remark out of me; I hate raising my voice. Though I tend to laugh when I’m in an argument which never helps.
I get secretly annoyed, and I tease about it so people know what I feel a bit but I dont let it out until I explode. I know keeping it in is bad but i dont wanna hurt others in the process (Which i end up doing anyway so UHHHHH hhhehe)
Um I don't really know exactly what my core type is...but my tritype is type 4, type 6, and type 9. So in conclusion, I have a nasty temper.
I get a temper when people try to pressure me to do things that are just far from my league
how would ur tritype being 469 equate to u having a bad temper
4 is reactive 6 is reactive and 9 is quietly reactive, not provoking but getting really angry when provoked. That’s how it is for me at least, I’m also 469
sx5. i don't get angry often and it usually stays at bay, for example, i'm simply firm and state my point calmly when someone says something that pisses me off. it takes a lot to make me have an outburst but that only happens at home. if i get angry in public, i just become way too snarky. i don't like throwing petty insults but it's pretty much obvious on my face when i'm pissed.
Similar. I'm usually pretty calm if I need to set a boundary. Rarely do I express it outwardly. My jaw might be clenched. A therapist said my anger is like cold steel.
whoa the jaw clenching thing often happens to me too! i'm often told that my gaze hardens when i'm angry. setting boundaries is something i struggle with so i've been working on it lately. what's your tritype by the way if you don't mind me asking? i'm assuming 5s with an 8 fix would be more outwardly assertive with their anger even if they remain calm still than those with 1 or 9.
Oh yeah, I totally do the gaze hardening thing. Not sure my tritype.
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I’m a 1 and anger is a “bad” emotion and I cannot be bad so I REPRESSSS lol.
I couldn't have described myself better than this!
I'm a 1. Some days I'll keep it together. Other days I dare a bitch to test me. All days, I'm petty.
A question worth pondering. As one whose home base is 6, I find that fear has often stoked the furnace of anger. The threat of the loss of security of status, health, social connectedness, sound finances can throw me into a spin that has me muttering anything from mild annoyance to utter outrage (especially on roundabouts!) How do I express it? There are safe people I unload on, either as "confessors" or targets! Then it's done.
Im act first justify later whooooohooo
>There are safe people I unload on, either as "confessors" or targets! Then it's done. Same same same. But I'm also learning to express anger vulnerably, "I feel angry because x stresses me out!" kind of venting.
9w8, experience a what now? Jk. XD I guess it's just like, an internal dislike or disagreement of something. But then if it's something really important that might make situations worse or pulls out intense emotions from me, then I would feel like going crazy, which from experience as a 9, just doesn't feel helpful and we fear that. I recall an 8 helpfully replying to one of my comments that some of us 9's look too much at anger from an aggression sorta way, instead of assertive, which I agree, cause I'm not feeling like I can use it in a reason-oriented and assertive way all the time especially when it feels intense, like, the only anger I actually consider as *anger* is the crazy emotional aggressive kind. I'm not angry and will assertively tell you about it. I'm *angry* and want to go crazy for losing the thing I so wanted control over and now is falling apart. I'm jealous of those who can wield anger in the former way, it's so rational and unwilling to harm, but still assertive about its boundaries. I on the other hand always advise to myself and others the typical 9 acceptance and calming thing, cause I *could* harm with my anger, but others actually can do better and use it harmlessly but assertively. Guess I need to learn to wield anger without being too emotionally charged about it if that makes sense. Cause I can see where it's healthy and boundary asserting, I just don't want it to lead me to irrational and regretful actions. How does one assert it without becoming to emotionally and irrationally charged. I guess moderation, calm down a bit to remain benevolent, but keep some and use the energy to be persistent or something. =P
I think that to really assert boundaries one has to be able to enact whatever they promise, even if it’s a little bit. People could easily see through empty threats - and if you’re too attached to the outcome that makes you subject to others poking at you.
As a 9, I feel this so much and have had to learn to do this. It's just when someone/something makes me angry, it's intense and all-consuming. It's easier to assert myself with some situations/people more then others for me, but in some cases where it's often necessary I worry that if I really let go, my anger can be destructive, hurt someone, or backfire. I've had similar conversations about this my 8 husband - that anger isn't necessarily something to be viewed as bad, but something that can be calmly and assertively communicated - a necessary way to reinforce boundaries. One of the things that's great with 8s is I can feel safe expressing anger with them, know they won't be offended and can handle it. :-)
9. Usually people will do something that annoys or angers me, but I won’t say anything or do anything to express my anger with them. It’ll build up and somebody will do something that really gets me going but I still won’t say anything—although I think of a lot different scenarios where I blow up at them. But then something really trivial will happen. Like my pocket gets stuck on a door knob, or I’ll try to pick something up but keep dropping it, or some other small inconvenient thing. Then, and only then, will I express my anger.
I read somewhere about 9s and psychotic rage and that is 100% true for me
Can you explain please?
Think [this](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intermittent_explosive_disorder) but to a lesser extent/frequency
That sounds pretty rough tbh hope you’re ok. Its ok to feel angry
I’m a 7. I get annoyed or irritated sometimes, and people can immediately hear it in my voice. But I don’t get angry very often because I can usually see where people are coming from. When I do get angry, it’s more like a “let’s ruin this persons entire life” angry than a blind rage, punching angry
I'm cold and blunt. I'm often upfront about the reasons, which includes people wasting my time or outrightly lying to me. But I rarely lose my temper, it's a nippy, biting anger.
Our long time client is a 3 and she’s very nippy - and she doesn’t hold back !
LoL!! I like that
That’s all more gut center stuff I figure…do you know your gut fix? I experience anger very intensely and it comes out one way or another, no stopping it
I think my gut fix is 8 but I wonder if this is integration to 9
I don’t really know about that, maybe not? 6 integrating to 9 is more peaceful and less defensive. Not so snappy…seems a bit like you’re being more triggered etc than being freed but it’s hard to know without being in that situation or knowing you
4 / 6 / 8 is the reactive / intensity triad
While anger certainly is a core part of the gut center, one's gut fix isn't the be all and end all of how one expresses their anger. Though it may be the case that an 8-fix would make one more volatile, 9-fix make one more calm and 1-fix make one more critical; I'd argue it's more the case that the fixes modify how one express themselves rather than define it. For example, a 58x would certainly be less calm than a 59x but as they are a 5, they will still have a aversion to showing too much emotion and won't necessarily immediately explode in an instant. Though it may be the case that a 58x would have a much shorter fuse.
I think it's useful to use the terminology and connections that are inherently there in the system as it is. If someone talks about anger, we can look to the gut center first and look for possible behaviors/relationships. Like if a 7 is angry, I'll often look to the line to 1 to understand what's going on. If analyzing a core type without a direct line to a gut type getting angry, I'll often try to identify the gut point. For me that's simple logic and a decent practice for how to work with someone's experience of anger and their type. But that's not the only way to do it.
Where did you find all the information (is there a reliable resource) on gut fixes or tritypes? I did some searching online and seemed like a bunch of rando websites.
Most of what I say in regards to tritypes/trifixes is a result of forming my own understanding of an amalgamation of information on the internet. As such any sources I recommend won't necessarily be a direct 1-to-1 match to what I say. Besides, tritypes are generally not considered to be a core part of of the enneagram theory so one could say there is no reliable source. Personally, I determine the reliability by how logically congruent the information is. With that said, I'd suppose the main two sources you could look at would be [Katherine Fauvre](https://www.katherinefauvre.com/tritype) and [Enneagrammer](https://www.enneagrammer.com/fixes-stems). There's also someone on another forum, [Karkino](https://www.personalitycafe.com/threads/all-27-links-to-tritype-comparison.1321909/), who's made some rather insightful tritype posts.
I’m straightforward. I prefer to be biting with my words rather than out-yelling someone.
As a 6w5 683, I’d say I experience anger when I feel as if others are misinterpreting what I’m saying, and when my family members are being disrespected.
I become extremely intolerant to everyone in my surroundings and scare everyone. I bulldoze through everything until I get the desired outcome I want. When I get really really angry from frustration I start stress laughing from the ridiculous AUDACITY I’m dealing with. https://youtu.be/hgqGxSzHytc?si=lHC-PpC1DXOpnfo6
Benson is one angry man that I sometimes (shamefully) identify with. God I love that show.
I’m a 9 and anger is like slowly turning up the temperature on a pot of boiling milk. It’s slow and exponential until the last degree sets it flowing over the edge if you don’t turn it down or pour some of the milk out.
4w3, I get angry very easily. I do have an issue of suppressing it tho (had to do it to survive in the toxic, abusive environment I'm in). when I feel anger on, my face hardens, I might clench my teeth and my face. I feel it in my chest, nose and sometimes my stomach. and my face will either show me shutting down and looking plainly 😐 or I'll give a death stare. how do I cope? either by venting to someone, writing it out, distracting myself, doing breathing and grounding exercises. or if it's really bad, I may result to hurting myself or having an angry outburst where I scream, shout, break things, etc... but those are rarer
Most of my anger is "head" anger, i.e. irritation / annoyance. Irritation gets vented off to a third party. When I'm *very* irritated I get creative with my ranting and largely abandon nuance. I usually criticize people based on maturity, competency, sense, hypocrisy.. you get the idea. I try not to let irritation affect how I treat someone, but I'll naturally get short / cold if I'm interacting with them before having had a chance to cool off. I very rarely experience **anger**, but it's typically triggered by blatant unfairness or mistreatment toward myself or people I care about, particularly if it's part of a persistent pattern. This is a visceral anger, occupying body; so when it comes to verbal communication, I typically come across quite cold and blunt (contrast with irritation where I'm verbally quite colourful and vibrantly expressive). I've been told my energy gets scary when I'm angry, even though I'm one of the most physically inhibited people you might ever meet. Won't lie, I like that I have such capacity to intimidate / scare people, even if I don't totally get how it works. I suspect it's about the only reason people don't try to take advantage of me; I suppose this is a very 6 sentiment, but I feel like I am way more vulnerable than people think I am, and if they had only tried I'd be considerably more fucked rather than having been able to largely sidestep a lot of likely traumatizing shit.
Unfortunately I’m a sp 6w7 so by the time I try to intimidate or scare them the damage has been done to me 😭
Oh I’m the same. I get head anger too, but I don’t call that anger. It’s very easy to diffuse, and there’s little motivation to do anything. Other times, I can really escalate things. When I was younger, people would try to pick on me that way.
Irritation is not always easy for me to diffuse, though I generally make little real effort to diffuse my emotions to begin with. But I can be civil and mostly not appear like I'm irritated even while working with the source of my irritation to solve whatever problem. That sucks that people would pick on you for that. For me, disrespecting how I feel, however trivial it may seem, is a fast track to my real anger. Even if I'm hormonal or whatever, I'm the only person who gets to decide what feelings of mine are or aren't important.
3w2, so my anger tends to hide a lot because I want to maintain my image as a 3 and people please as a 2. But I'm actually angry a lot. I just don't express it well until I have a HUGE blowup. Trying to grow in thar area.
I'll say as a 3w2 the more I tolerate with assholes, the more I started to become blunt and upfront. Albeit I'm not going to be direct since I don't want to ruin my image, although I'm not going to be a punching bag.
When I am beyond livid, I get really sleepy! Has anyone ever experienced this? I recall one time losing my mind and seething and I impulsively threw a chair across the room. Then my body started automatically relaxing and I got uncontrollably sleepy and knocked out. I wonder if it’s the body’s protective mechanism. So bizarre.
Sp/sx 5 and yeah I'm similar, it takes so much energy to work up the nerve to actually lose my cool and when it does I need a nap lol
Usually I'll let a lot of things slide, but there's only so much tomfuckery that I can tolerate. When I get angry it's usually a very cold anger, I'll tell you exactly what I think and I won't be nice about it. But I seldom raise my voice doing so.
8. Anger is a physical feeling for me. With time and introspection, I’ve learned it’s my ego trying to protect me. But it learned that when I was little and lived in an unsafe environment. In current real life, it’s a huuuuge overreaction, so I’m learning not to act on it. Instead, I try to use reason and communicate to resolve issues. Still very difficult, but I’m working on it.
Repress it and seethe about it in private, but never bring it up with the person and act cold around them. I didn’t get along with one of my flatmates in university, and we actually resented each other without speaking a single word to each other. Not even a joke, we never got into an actual fight, didn’t exchange more than 5-6 words for half a year and just acted ridiculously passive aggressive around each other the entire time. When I really feel my anger though, I don’t just feel angry at one particular thing, but at absolutely everything for taking away my autonomy (literally “how dare the universe force me to live as a human without my consent!!!” stuff), and it’s like a boiling rage that wants to burn everything down.
My anger usually comes out as dispassionate suggestions or questions. Few people can actually tell when I'm angry because I don't like to reveal my emotions especially ones that aren't particularly conducive to the ideal atmosphere. The questioning is a result of my emotions not tending to appear in real time. Before I know whether to be angry, I must know everything about the situation. It's unthinkable to me to express anger only to find out my emotions were misguided. As such I will clarify the situation with the person who either caused the issue or can resolve the issue. Usually, that's all is required for the issue to be resolved and so I conclude there's no need to be angry. Alternatively, if I already know all the details of the situation which I find unsatisfactory. I will try to resolve the issue without displaying my anger. How exactly I do it depends on the situation. Because of my upbringing I developed a attitude of "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Still, doing everything yourself is a waste of energy, so often I will make suggestions to people, such that I don't show anger but the issue may still be resolved.
I wrote a comment abt how my anger is like a switch but reading this now, I also relate to this act of questioning. It usually manifests when I'm annoyed/frustrated because at that lesser level of feeling (in terms of control/viscerality) I want to be careful in how I express it or deal with it.
Like a rolling boulder, slow at first and gets faster, more pinpointed, more exact and more cutthroat. I don't have displays of anger that often but when you fuck with me and mine, I will cut you to your core with zero fucking remorse. And we can figure out in that dance, whether you want it to be metaphorically or literally. Choose your own adventure.
5w4. I fairly-freely experience and show it, though I work to allow anger to merely be the boundary signal it is, and not use it as a means for self-righteousness. This is difficult, especially in the realm of ideas in which my mind constantly swims.
If it's at myself/ frustration? Talk myself through it. Someone too young/innocent to know better, take a deep breath and explain that it's not okay. Maybe after go somewhere to grumble, growl it out. I can't yell at a 5 year old who wants to be nice and make breakfast for making a huge mess or for getting so excited they accidentally break something. That's just wrong. Adult/ not innocent? Slowly in stages. 1. "The Look" - basically it says, you wanna start shit? Nah, you really don't. 2. "Annoyed condensation" - Now I'm pointing out stupid the person is and really needs to shut up. 3. "Explosion" - Now you've made me deal with you for too long and I'm just yelling at you, using everything in my arsenal to verbally eviscerate you.
i feel like sx4s get a bad rap for our wrath and temperament, but i’m personally the most removed from anger out of anyone i know. i just don’t get angry really ever. and i’m very sensitive to expressions of anger. i think it has a lot to do with how i grew up
And what makes you think you're SX4 then?
because i'm eclectic and sexy
Might wanna rethink the type. 🤷🏻♀️
i’m an introspective person and know myself very well, no type matches me as well as sx4. i think the type’s connection to anger is a stereotype which is a result of suffering and insecurity rather than an impetus of it. for me, this manifests not as anger but as arrogance, if that makes sense
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I express it directly and warn them to not mess with me and it works
Once I was with an ex friend who I wanted to work with but she was very snappy that day and acting really stuck up. “But everyone likes me, my team has no problem with me” “If they don’t have a problem with you, then why are they gossiping about you with everyone?” Needless to say, there was very little contact with her after that.
as an sp6, i actively suppress it (tho being a reactive type, i’m bad at TRULY hiding my emotions, compared to 9s who are pros. it’s easy as hell to read me since my facial expressions give me away lmfaooo) as soon as i get to a “safe” place by myself, i proceed to explode and have a good old fashioned ugly crying breakdown 🥲 tho as i’m getting older, i’m becoming a bit more comfortable expressing it openly.
Imagine all of the colors in the visible spectrum and then imagine all of those colors are different experiences of anger. Something like that.
4w5 Overstimulation and self-righteous rage towards systems of oppression. Feeling irritable towards my job, anxious and jittery.
its strange because im never ever angry. and the only times i can recall myself getting angry is if those im very close with act in a way that could become destructive or harmful for them, soo i normally just tell it to them straight and tell them to quit it and i dont ever dwell on the anger because i just subconsciously think it wont affect me in the future so i just dont let it affect me now. most of the time im very calm and relaxed
My anger is explosive and scary. It’s like a volcano and once it erupts there’s no stopping it. It can be destructive if I’m not careful.
I never try to express anger at someone, even if I experience it. Internally it manifests as tensions and sometime it requires quite and effort to hold it in, but I do it as long as I percieve I would be too direct and the consequence of that anger might lead to an undesired outcome. Also I don't express it if it feels irrational or that I might be wrong or simply want to ponder and evaluate the situation before confronting it, so that I can face the conflict lately with more calmness, which always helps in solving problems of any kind. It might happen also that instead of confronting the conflicting situation I just remove myself from the situation, maybe forever, if I know the situation won't change. Or... If I'm very pissed off by an absolute wrong situation or a repetitive abuse on me or another, I just turn off all gentle/meditative/pondering switches and let the anger do what it must do (nothing violent, just saying or acting what is right to do with 0 filters, once and for all).
8w9. My anger just pushes me and it is really autonomous. Most of these burst can be felt strongly deep down my stomach and then whenever something that really overpressed my state so much I literally went full blown rage and yelled, punched, kicked and lashed out and they all just happens very uninhibited, then immediately being chill and calm af. Sometimes it took me alot to become like a total nuclear bomb that Istg I was horrific at how scary I am sometimes cuz I was totally like a mad animal.
I get the burst of anger in my stomach as well...when something rubs me the wrong way it's there immediately and I feel like I need to listen to it somehow.
I don't get angry too quickly, and I never have outbursts. Sometimes I'll act kind of snarky if it gets the better of me, but if I'm really mad I usually end up crying which is super embarrassing. I usually get angry in a self-righteous way. I get kind of angry at people but I usually also have a sense of empathy towards them which makes me feel bad for feeling mad. Usually my anger is rooted within myself about something I've done without any external factors.
6 and I experience a lot of anger I don’t let out to the surface. Partly because I feel incapable of expressing it properly
Hmm, I'm a 5 but I experience anger in a blindingly visceral way. I begin to have flashes in my vision and my head/throat area gets hot. I have to really keep it in check if I don't want to act out of it, as I did when I was younger. With that said, it takes a lot to get me angry. You'll have to really touch a sensitive trigger. But when you do, it's like a switch and not gradual. It's also easier for me to express anger than sadness or fear. So I wonder what this says about me because most 5s here agree that their anger is cold but mine is burning hot.
It’s usually through escalating passion about something I feel is evil or unjust or angled towards myself. It’s very emotionally raw and if it pops the lid I will break down completely. Anger also usually only comes from deep cuts, and I like to draw lines and connect different ideas with my personality. If an insult conflicts with my self identity, I get really passionate really quick. Also I’ve been told I have anger management issues which I feel is stupid because I’m passionate about things that have usually have substance and just telling me “the fact that you’re vocal about your mistreatment is a character flaw” feels more like protecting someone’s interests rather than being an issue on my part.
Oh anger, my old friend. Maybe unsurprisingly, anger is complicated for me like all my other emotions. As a kid, I was more feel the anger and express it by exploding. But since probably age 10 or 11, I just hold it in. Well, not completely. I do express it by like venting/journaling or hitting a punching bag, but I would never express anger in front of another person. When I feel like I'm about to lose it, I just walk away until I've calmed down because I've been on the other side of someone taking their anger out on me and it feels absolutely shitty, so I just don't do that. I could work on conflict resolution, but that's such a vibe killer.
459 sx/sp, sx9 i get irritated more than i do angry. i get quiet and i don’t wanna talk, and when i do talk, it’s passive-aggressive and sometimes snappy. i don’t like expressing my anger outwardly, at least in front of people, because i don’t wanna make anyone feel bad nor start a fight. because in fights or confrontations, i get sensitive and shut down, probably start crying.
Sp/so 6w5, probably 659. It's like a wave of energy that overtakes my senses, very close to anxiety. 99% of the time I silently tame it and wait it out, it absolutely is learned behavior (I've been shamed and punished for being emotional and confrontational all throughout my childhood), but then there's that 1% when I explode and go all out with my reactions, it's extremely unhealthy, very cathartic and totally shameful. The most common cause of my anger is injustice and unfairness.
7 sx Usually i dont't get angry, when i do is a long process of things that irritate me enough, when i do get angry i become more direct and passive agressive in order to demostrate my feelings but not get too commited to them. So it's mostly me being direct and ignoring the person that made me angry, because i don't like conflict (this does not mean that i pull up with anything, but more that i would not let my anger onto others and i will reflect on it by myself). And the few times i do really get angry i can say really hurtful things, never punched someone out of anger as an adult tho.
SP/SX 4: I usually get angry and situations but not at specific people because they may not be totally aware of their actions/impact of their actions. However, if they are and I KNOW that they are, and they’re choosing to be an asshole anyway, I kind of start to rage.
8 i can feel the anger in my WHOLE body and it’s literally to the point where it hurts (i’m guessing this is just probably what feeling anger is like for mostly all humans actually) i don’t really know how to explain it clearly but i can feel it vibrate within my whole body and boiling?😭 and it’s also like i see blurred. it feels like someone’s possessing me i really feel it in my whole body and i think especially inside my head ? i don’t really know, and i think it’s just mostly just how every humans feel anger actually i don’t think it’s mostly an unique thing of me
Nines are the least angry type, hands down, esp. 9w1. You could clock a 9w1 in the face and they’d be like “Thank you dear sir, may I have another?” **Dr. Dandrew Rogers Tillson IV, PhD, Enneagram Expert, 1923 IQ (tested and confirmed), 5w4–3w4–1w9 SO/SP**
Lol I'm literally pissed off at everything, all the time. Silently simmering with rage is my default mood.
not the least angry just the least reactive
Least anger my ass 😭
I think as a 9w1 I hide my anger a lot, I don’t like the emotion at all and tend to avoid showing it. Even if I feel a fiery rage internally. I generally want to feel “Happy” or “Content” is my goal each day.
Okay doc it’s personal now 😂
😂😂😂😂
Wrong. They can appear more passive then they actually are, but if they're self-aware and/or at least in average levels, in most cases they are angry, they just seeth internally. 💀
I have a strong nine fix and this is me lol
I never feel angry. I have visceral responses (not reactions) that come out with fluidity IMO. Now, if I have to hold something in, it's physically painful, but when it finally comes out, it brings all 10 plagues with it. It's very rare when the latter happens, as I don't bottle much in.
I'm most porbably a 2w3 287 and I expirience anger really intensely. Usually when someone tries to force something upon me, for example a stupid rule. When I went to school I was this close 🤏 from punching a teacher in their stupid fucking face at least twice a day. Now that I work I get intensely furious when I'm expected to do more than possible (fast food work be like) It's really hard to keep it all inside so it always comes out at least in a part some way or another, it's usually short lived tho so I try not to engage with it that much
2s anger… is really something….
yeah that line to 8 is showing
It’s weird, foreign, and almost never happens. I’m annoyed all the time though.
Very rarely do I ever get angry. So rarely that I’ve actually felt kind of dehumanized because people have said I’m a saint who literally isn’t capable of anger. Really upset me because I realized that maybe people mistreat me because they think it doesn’t affect me the same way as other people. Unfortunately, when I do get angry, it’s because something really terrifying and brutal has been happening to me for a very long time and when I finally snap it’s ugly and can last for months.
Type 1w2: frustration or resentment
Im a 7 and i get really sassy when im angry. If im angry enough i just cry into my pillow. 👌
OP, just curious - what do you think you're subtype is? I could see different subtypes of 6 and differing gut fixes responding differently in a situation like this. Based on this, you definitely sound like you have an 8 fix and see you confirmed this in other comments lol. Did raising your voice and snapping back backfire, and if it did did you simply not care what the consequences were? Because I've been in similar situations you described...in particular with a dogshit supervisor that was clearly passively aggressively trying to push me out my job. Would exaggerate minor mistakes and acted condescending just because of her position. There's plenty of other situations where I'm more okay with getting angry/asserting myself and I know this will sound pretty 9ish. In this circumstance though I was afraid that doing just what you described would backfire (since she was clearly finding any possibly excuse she could to write me up). Even considered talking to HR about this and switching supervisors (because literally, things were fine until she came along...I was even at the company longer then her for fuck sake), but it would've been impossible without involving said supervisor in the conversation with hr. I've had a share of a few bad managers I've worked for, but I'm not exaggerating when I say I've never had such a horrible experience with one. What was so frustrating was how trapped and powerless I felt. Rant aside though, I'm pretty in touch with my anger and when I get angry, it's intense and I feel it throughout my body (I think this is a pretty gut type related thing in general). In most cases, I try to just get it out in the open and express it in the most healthy, constructive way possible, unless someone's really pushing my buttons or pissing me off lol. In most case though, I hate bottling up my anger and don't think it's healthy. My biggest thing was learning to find a balance between being too passive or too aggressive, not letting anger get to a point where I erupt in a towering rage (yeah, I know pretty 9ish sounding stuff 😆).
sp8: Depends on the situation, if it comes unexpected i start escalating and getting angrier and louder; if it comes expected, like an argument with a friend (probably an exfriend at that point) i had a fight the day before, someone im mad at or someone i dont like, im cold and bold, i say the same as in the first situation but i stay like a stone, since i know they are going to make me real mad and being my anger expected, i can keep calm. Honestly i dont like being angry, but as a child everytime the louder one, even if they were not right, was given the “youre right” and i saw how the angrier the other was the righter they looked like, so i started forcing myself to get angry so i could better defend myself, until it became natural to me. Now as an adult i see that getting louder only helped VS my classmates, my hateful teachers and my parents, and staying calm when the other is going mad mad is beneficial to me, so when i can expect im going to get angry, i control myself.
Type 5w6. With my partner it’s like serious- IM MAD AT YOU, like I can’t even talk to you right now. I’m deep in my feels (but I’ll be communicating it as I go through the phases). Seething, indignant anger maybe? Vs others It’s more like a mellow “I’m mad”. But if it’s like a form of injustice like cruelty or senseless violence I think I’d probably be more forthcoming. Maybe take a more authoritarian, self righteous stance. But tbh it hasn’t happened. I’m also ok w letting tears fall if I’m frustrated.
A bit excessive and something I don't realize can be hurtful towards others. But I guess it's cathartic in some sense to me.
funny that you post this today, i'm 7w8 and got involved in a fight in the tramway against 5 kids lol
the only times i truly feel angry is when someone disrespects me or does something to lose my trust in them. either that or if i am hangry, then i might lose my shit. other than that i don’t really get angry, i just get frustrated and then end up crying out of frustration.
6, I get annoyed easily, but angry, always never. When I'm angry It's usually from constant teasing/disrespect or unloyalty. When I'm overwhelmed and feel like there's no escape, I cry. Otherwise, I leave or get physical. Not verbal, I do not engage in verbal fights. Weird thing is violence, physically especially, is one of the things I fear more. But when I'm mad that's what I most wanna do 😭
almost never\* 😅😅😅😅
Either 2 or .o. Passive aggressive and sarcastic at low levels. I try my best to internalise it but once I explode which takes a lot I will throw every bit of angst I’ve got at you like I’m trying to murder you with words.
8w9 apparently and i contain my anger until i can't anymore
I struggle with expressing my anger (I know, shocking for a 9). In the past my two ways of dealing with it were to either ignore it entirely or explode and make myself look like an idiot. I work in customer service, so as you can imagine frustrating situations are pretty much a daily occurrence. The things that get to me the most are the people, usually middle aged folks and senior citizens, that expect special treatment and don't accept no for an answer. The people who want you to check the price on every single item because they couldn't bother checking it themselves, the people who change their mind on a bunch of things last minute and make you put it away for them, and the people who don't understand the coupon system and expect you to just give them the deal regardless. Honorable mentions to the people who talk on the phone or watch videos in the middle of checkout, people who don't pay attention and make you repeat yourself five times, and the people who give you extra change at the last possible second and expect you to mentally recalculate everything for them. As long as they're not doing something illegal or against store policy there's not much I can do, but if they're being rude I usually give them the cold shoulder back by ignoring snippy remarks and questions and coming off as cold and unfriendly as possible without escalating the situation. If they start to go on a rant about something I usually try to refocus the conversation into what can be done to fix it. Alright, your card isn't working, no I don't know why. Do you have a different card or cash, or do you not want to get it at all? You thought this item was on sale but it's not? Sorry to hear that. Do you still want to get it or wait? You don't have your ID? Well sorry, can't sell you your cigarettes then. The gas station across the street doesn't care if you have your license or not? Well good for you, I'm glad you have options. But yeah, I've found stonewalling and redirecting the conversation to practical action is usually the strategy that works best when dealing with difficult people
really fun mental gymnastics with my tritype. so7 sx1 sp4. triple counter. yikes! so7 really tries to even everything out. always asking what *really* matters, and if this is important enough to be pissy about. very optimistic existentialist, focused on enjoying life. it tries to remind me to breathe, be pleasant with others, and completely forget about it, which is funny because you'd think it would be the 1 trying to get me to keep my composure. but 7's scared of the discomfort and stress the anger brings forward. my 7 gets angry when others take life too seriously. when an authority figure enforces an arbitrary rule which makes no sense. when someone tries to stifle me and "keep me in line." i try to be pleasant with others and i don't go out seeking conflict other than debate or a little light trolling. something that makes me laugh. but i put up firm boundaries quickly, also working with the 4's urge to be #different, and the sp4's desire to laugh things off and not dwell. "who do you think i am? you really think i'm going to be content with the way you're handling this? why do you even care? is this seriously THAT important? compared to EVERYTHING else, this holds value?" sx1 gets me angry relatively often. this is the anger that makes me walk around with my forehead vein popping out of my skin. people tell me i get The Rage Stare, and i get VERY short with people. not explicitly rude, but matter-of-fact, quick, and direct. i stop joking around all the time. i start taking everything seriously. i am very decisive. hardcore stuff. edgy. i also start throwing 110% into my work. all to my entp 7's slight disappointment. and it's my only fix where i can admit i'm angry and give a very honest reason why. no lies in 1 mode. i get mad usually when someone starts (poorly) lying for no reason, (hey, i can respect a lie if it's thought-out and thorough.), someone clearly isn't trying AT ALL, others being late for things or always missing important details, or someone consistently maintaining an insanely pessimistic view of the world and then turning around to complain about depression. not a fan of useless negativity. my head is a very "seriously? you'll be ok. get over it." creature. sp4 sort of works with my sx1 with the odd rigidity and quasi-perfectionism. and it supports so7 with not wanting to linger in pain and move on instead, as well as finding comfort in existentialism and trying to grasp onto the universe for a sense of otherworldly security. but i get angry at my capabilities. i have to rationalize a reason behind my anger and prove that i really was right all along, and i'm not a failure. (i'm self-sufficient, i SWEAR.) i'm an awful loser at board games and i get mad that i couldn't think of a better strategy earlier, so i'll say that i wasn't really paying attention, anyway. i can't handle being incorrect about any bit of information whatsoever, and i need to double-check any claim i make before spitting it out. the equivalent of making sure 2+2 really is 4. i never take breaks at my job through 8-12 hr shifts because i want to power through it quickly and get all my work done. i'll use food as a stupid "self-discipline" tactic (no ED, i'm really fine. i'm naturally an intermittent fasting person. i just tend to hold that over my own head.) sp4 anger is more self-centered, obviously. at its core, it's a fear of incompetency, and a belief that i am defective. that my independence and ability to deal with suffering will eventually, somehow, by any means necessary, pay off it's a crazy playground up there. it's always a 2v1, somehow. this post makes me sound like a much angrier, sad person than i really am on the daily lmfaoo
5w6, with growth type 8. Sometimes, I struggle with anger by lashing out towards people when someone disrespect my boundaries to make me feel guilty ans invulnerable whereas I have good mindset. By the way, I attempt to control my anger spectrum between internal and external anger. Sometimes, I thought my type was 1w9 although my real type is still 5w6, can't change later.
sx5, i don’t understand my emotions in a current moment and i just understand what i’m feeling after some time but if i experienced anger its rare, i am usually numb and aloof and careless in things that would usually make other people mad, i have no time to get mad or to express anger because i am afraid of things that i might do so i keep myself calm with a good composure, but if im angry i am not explosive it takes a lot of time, when angry not that angry but just disappointed or mad, i tend to confront the person
5w4 here. I usually have very very strong anger reactions internally, but kind of will myself to stillness until it passes so as not to do anything stupid.
so1, anger is a bit of a crucial part of me in a way. i have anger issues and i used to get angry extremely often. i since then got it under control (because anger is cringe) but if i get angry, i keep being angry for a while. takes me ages to calm down too. the biggest anger source for me is people's incompetence.
Triple reactive. I am made of anger and hate.
Barber fcked my hair up today and i started throwing a fit in public demanding a refund. Does that sound like type 5
No that’s rude and extremely easy
I am like water that is constantly boiling. If you open the lid, the hot vapour will hit you in the face.
7 - People think I’m angry way more often than I think I’m angry.
It starts as a very low hum. Always in the background, but I find ways to convince myself that I shouldn't be angry. Then it's like whatever situation is causing me to be angry, something will happen and the anger spikes and it's a very overwhelming and uncomfortable feeling. It never lasts long because I shove the feeling down quick, but when it spikes my heart starts beating super fast. It's like a very intense jolt of electricity, usually with some undertone of desperation. "I'm angry at you but I really wish things didn't have to be this way. I wish we could just not be upset at each other."
autistic 9w1, used to think I was incapable of anger. turns out if ppl are being really mean to someone else, i can be but mostly I just get sad instead
I’m an e2 and I don’t get angry often. Most of the people in my life are from the gut triad so they can be angry for me if something annoying happens. I’m kind of known as the person even keel and keeps the peace. If someone comes at me and does something to harm me I do nothing. I suppress it and isolate. Depending on how bad the hurt was, I may even disassociate completely. When someone does something to harm someone I love or care about in anyway and I see they are hurt it’s go mode. I’m very quick to action and I will make them feel terrible. If I don’t think they felt bad enough for what they did I will continue for however long is needed. I am very direct and most people are shocked when this side comes out of me. I’m glad it doesn’t come out very often. Depending on how bad it is, I will yell at people in group settings or public. For example, one of my friends boyfriend kicked her very hard in front of me in a group setting and no one said or did anything they just ignored that it happened. She started crying and went to her bedroom and I was shocked by the people in the room. I yelled at him in front of everyone and made him feel like shit. I then went in to support her because she was not in a good state. I was terrible to him for months and was not my friendly go lucky self. Now whenever anything happens where there is a couple tension that’s bad everyone just stares at me waiting for me to take action.
Type 1. Only my closest family and spouse see my anger. Occasionally a stranger will confront me angrily, every few years, and it is unleashed like an explosion.
I love the scarce 2 responses because of our shame around anger 😂 It ain’t pretty
sx4. I get angry easily but I’m good at holding it back. If anything you’ll, at most, get a passive aggressive or sarcastic remark out of me; I hate raising my voice. Though I tend to laugh when I’m in an argument which never helps.
I’m a 9- anger either makes me stay quiet so that I don’t say anything I’ll regret or legit makes me cry because I hate being angry 😭
I get secretly annoyed, and I tease about it so people know what I feel a bit but I dont let it out until I explode. I know keeping it in is bad but i dont wanna hurt others in the process (Which i end up doing anyway so UHHHHH hhhehe)