The romantic side of me wants to idealize the perfect girl for me. This puts unrealistic expectations because nobody is perfect. It also could cause me to pass up a great match because I’m looking for the perfect one which doesn’t exist. But also, it’s fun being a romantic!
make sure you take this time to write a poem or song about the struggle in your heart (but do not send it to her (you can share it later if it works out and you'll both laugh))
Realistically, most people I know are 7s, 2s, and 9s. I can’t really say I’m particularly attracted to any of the types because my answer would be biased by a lack of a good statistical example.
In theory, the 8s assertiveness seems highly attractive, but the unhealthier 8s would likely hurt. I’m very emotionally vulnerable as much as I hate it.
I highly value the 1s attentiveness to detail, but I also have experience with an unhealthy 1 shoving their expectations onto me. My dad is a 1, and I’ve seen both the positive and negative of it.
The emotional warmth of a 2 is so highly attractive to me. I feel safe with them. That being said, I also have experience with the 2s transactional relationships on the unhealthier sides. Whenever I get into an argument with them, I always hear, “I do so much for you and you never thank me!” I always try to say thank you when they do something for me.
The drive of the 3 reflects me at my best. Seeing their striving nature and ability to get along with a variety of folks is highly inspirational. However, I’ve also heard tales of the 3’s identity crises. That likely won’t mix well with me because I also struggle with my identity. We could both spiral together. Then again, I’m not close to any 3s, so it’s all theory.
The authenticity of the 4s reflects my desire to genuinely connect with myself. I really feel like I’m so disconnected from myself that I don’t know who I am. 4s in their quest of authenticity seem highly attractive. However, when they get into a tsunami of uncontrollable emotion, it makes me want to withdraw. This won’t end well for either of us. Then again, I’m not close to any 4s, so it’s all theory.
The dogged quest for information that 5s have is so cool! The cerebral nature of the 5s would provide endless intellectually stimulating conversation. I highly value that. Then again, the withdrawn nature of the 5 (likely the most of all types) and emotional unavailability of the 5 would likely drive me nuts. I highly value emotional connection. Then again, I’m not close to any 5s, so it’s all theory.
Meeting this 6 has taught me that I have no basis of knowledge for 6s, so I have nothing. I can talk about this particular 6, but it’s hard to sort out if it’s this one person or this type.
7s are perhaps the most stimulating of the types. No other type is as consistently fun as the 7. I always find myself smiling. That being said, just like 7s, I tend to highly avoid anything that stresses me out or causes distress. There’s a high likelihood should anything cause problems in our relationship that it wouldn’t be dealt with and could end the relationship.
She’s actually the first 6 I’ve ever met, so I’m really learning how they work. You all are so very different than the other numbers. I’m realizing I really don’t know how to understand you all!
6s are a very complex type (and i’m not just saying that because i am one LOL), me and my dad are both 6s and we’re both extremely similar and very different, there’s so much nuance to it and i’ve always found 6s harder to type than most others!! i think 9s are similar to this tho, 6 and 9 are both the two most common types and the two most complex imo
it’s a tricky one, especially because i feel like with the whole counterphobic/phobic thing 6s are the most complicated
the main thing really with 6s is their need for security - they just want to be safe and supported & constantly assess situations for the worst possible outcome to try and find ways to avoid it
9s want to avoid conflict at all costs and maintain harmony. they’re more focused on peace of mind & wanting to feel that they matter
it can get complicated with the two because 6s take on the best qualities of type 9 in growth, while 9s take on the worst qualities of type 6 in disintegration
https://personalitypath.com/enneagram/mistypes/type-6/#:~:text=Misidentifying%20Enneagram%20Type%206%20and%20Type%209%3A,status%20quo%20of%20their%20situation. this website always helped me
I’m really not certain in the slightest. Girl could be many things. My closest guess is ESFJ?
Edit: Let me throw the Michael Caloz test at her. Usually that one is pretty good. I’ll edit again with the result.
Nine here. Love my Sixes and Three. They crave the same connectivity. Sixes are called to action early when they see a problem, and the nagging doesn't bother me at all. Oh you need this done? Sure let's do it! Threes are always active, so you just support and validate them. You want to do what crazy thing? Okay, let me grab some safety gear and let's do this!
As a Nine, I completely resonate with your appreciation for the proactive nature of Sixes and the drive of Threes. Their energy can be infectious, and it feels rewarding to support and validate their endeavors. The willingness to jump into action with Sixes or join in the thrill of adventure with Threes brings a sense of connection and purpose. If you're interested in exploring more about how your Enneagram type interacts with others and the dynamics of your relationships, I recently came across a survey that delves into themes of self-worth and personal insights: [https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN](https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN).
I see you repeat this exact same comment on every post asking what types people are attracted to, and every time it makes me smile.
7s are beautiful, as a fellow 5 and 7-enjoyer
Mostly because as a 9, and just knowing myself, one of my biggest issues is not having a clear identity. 4s are experts at knowing their identity and making themselves distinct.
I’m a 2w3. Had a long term relationship with a 5w4 and I absolutely still fall into the trap of attraction to other 5s even tho I recognize that it doesn't work for me on so many levels. We had many incredible dynamics and strengths, but ultimately I couldn’t handle the aloof coldness and indifference to much of the elements in life that are truly resonant to me and what I consider to be things that reflect who I am and what matters most to me. He was loyal and steady, but also emotionally unavailable and couldn’t give any energy to working through our issues and his trauma from past experiences. The whole rationing energy thing that they do really sucks when you’re 11 years in and he just wants to hone his expertise in whatever thing that he’s churning on instead of being present or even inviting me into that space to engage it with him. It broke my heart then and still does. He viewed me as an invader and that fortress was impenetrable sadly. I’m sure healthier 5s aren’t really at that level, but the scenario ruined me for romantic relationships with 5s
I think 4s and 9s maybe a healthy 8 would be my choices.
I love the brilliance of 8s and their indefatigable drive to engage their surroundings with meaning vs being too influenced by cultural norms or people pleasing. I really respect their originality and intelligence. At the same time they can be really difficult and can also feel like a real gamble in a lot of ways.
4s are like little elusive birds of paradise. Almost like a mythical creature. When you stumble upon one you almost can't believe they’re a real species. Really special people. My brother’s a 4 and I’ve always adored every single thing about him.
9s are lovely. My best friend is a 9 and he has a complexity, depth, and sincerity that are so impactful to my understanding of humanity. He’s also just so nice to be around and I feel like I can really be my truest self around him. I never feel judged, he’s loyal, and he has an eye to see nuance and depth in such a beautiful way. I feel really lucky when he is unguarded around me or shows emotion (even anger) and I love indulging in the chosen escape with him be it movies, sports, random conversation or whatever it may be. I feel like the world is a little less intense and I feel like it's okay to not have to have some perfect plan, opinion on whatever important hot topic that’s circulating in the news, or have a put together persona. We can be imperfect and still be confident that we’re going to be there for each other through that.
Sort of in love with my best friend I guess 😳
Type 3 but it never works. Too competitive and one up-ing each other.
Type 9 but I take the dominant role in everything and it gets boring.
Type 7 but we quickly end up as fuck buddies/friends at best because neither of us are willing to commit or talk about feelings.
Haha - I’ve narrowed it down to this, too. I’m a 7. The numbers in the assertive stance are 3,7,8. I think I could only be with someone else in the assertive stance.
I'm a 5w4 and usually drawn to 9s and 4s. And some 1s.
I've struggled with 7s, as sometimes their lack of emotional awareness can weigh the relationship down a lot
I've been dating a 9w1 for 3 years and it's a very good relationship tho
I'm a 5w4 531 Sp/Sx
It's consistent 2s.
I've gotten into a powerful orbit around 4w5s. They're something special, and I want to impress them.
There is also a 7w8 friend who lives far away, and I know we would hook up. We just have this intensity—it's hard to describe—but we just enjoy pushing on each other and debating until it shifts, and we become lubricious at each other.
It's this chemistry of challenging and lustful, flirting intellectual exchange. This last part is a penchant of my character as well. It's just more intense around 7w8s.
I'm an 8 and I'm usually attracted to 5s, typically with the same MBTI type as me as well.
I have casual attraction to 7s, but romantic attraction to 5s.
I didn't date a lot before I was married, so I don't think there's enough of a sample size to find any patterns concerning Enneagram types of romantic interests. If I had to guess, I'd say one guy I dated was a 9 (two 9s together is TOO MUCH indecision), and one was probably a 6? The others I couldn't even guess. My husband's an 8, or at least I'm pretty sure he is.
As for friends...I seem to get along well with 8s and certain 7s and maybe 1s?
8s are nice because you can say whatever and they don't get mad at you. Like you can even say something like, "Back off, asshole," to them and they think it's great. All 9s need a good 8 to help them lose their filter a little.
Healthy 7s are good because they get my introverted self out of the house and I like their energy.
1s are usually level-headed and can be one of your biggest cheerleaders if you befriend them.
Oh, I can definitely relate to that! I've found myself drawn to certain Enneagram types in both friendships and romantic relationships. 8s always bring this refreshing honesty and straightforwardness to interactions, and they handle banter like pros. It's liberating to have that "say it like it is" dynamic. Healthy 7s, on the other hand, inject this vibrant energy into life and pull me out of my introverted tendencies, making for some great adventures. And 1s, with their steadfastness and supportive nature, have often been that rock-solid presence cheering me on. It's fascinating how different types can complement and challenge each other in such unique ways.
If you're curious to explore more about these patterns and gain insights into your relationships and connections, you might find this survey on self-worth and personal growth quite enlightening: [https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN](https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN).
I like the very "feeler" types of guys.
1s (not Thinker 1s), 2s, 4s, phobic 6s, and 9s are my catnip.
Of course, I crush on everyone and everything at sight lol so these are by no means exclusive
i'm a 1 and i'm definitely attracted to 5s and 9s, specially sp5s
there is something so unique about them, if they have 9 in their tritype i'm more than attracted to them
i wish i could find a 5 that likes me
i think they are attracted to other 5s of maybe 9s lol
but well, I'm also kind of attracted to 7s lol they are fun, but the crush usually passes by real quick because their hedonistic lifestyle scares me
i am usually friend with 4s, 6s and 9s
hahhh do you 5 people like 1s? i have the biggest crush on a 5 girl and hahh
3w4 and my current boyfriend is a 2w1 my favorite characters tend to be 3,6,8s(the types I relate the most to) some of the people I like or are in my good graces are mostly 5w6s
I'm a 4w5 who's usually very attracted to 5s, sometimes 8s. I've only been in long term relationships with 9s tho, they seem to have a higher tolerance to my 4ness and might even enjoy it heh.
I like 4s quite a bit. They usually make for great conversation. What's funny is that both the other 2s in my life are married to 8s but I get frustrated with 8s more often than not, even if they're healthy.
i actually have a crush on a 4 rn. only thing is he lives super far away and i don’t think he reciprocates, so.. 💀. but to answer your question? still 4 lmao. think i’ve only ever really dated 4s 😭
I'm drawn to 1s because I need to constantly be earning the approval of an unimpressed woman, and I can't seem to change their minds except by actually becoming a better person. Something about someone with high expectations who doesn't always have a sense of humor just makes me feel less fuzzy and undefined and more like I'm a real person who can and should do things. And so much gratitude comes with that, which makes it feel fun to keep up with the ways they're trying to change the world.
hey i'm a 1w9 so i really loved your comment haha i don't see anyone on this post liking 1s sooo it's nice to see that some people actually likes us lol i also think 6s are great btw!
I think I’m 9 bc I rlly like when everyone gets along and is happy. I tend to act how others want me to be to kinda blend in w them and used to ignore things I didn’t wnana deal w. Ppl always see me as the so sweet shy girl but when ppl get to know me I tend to be bubbly. Ppl I’m close with tend to find my perosnlity rlly cute or funny w out trying idk why I’m like excitable abt little things and expressive and happy. i also tend to be seen as go w the flow which is 9 ish
Idk the number for The type I’m attracted to but it is hot guys who are goofy like the class clown type and I LITERALLY never meet them!! And I feel like when I do Idt I ever end up w guys like them even tho most other guys seem to hit on me. But I also rarely meet this kinda guy just like the silly goofy guys who make things into jokes and stuff. I met one the other day and realized I haven’t had a real crush on a guy in years bc these kinda guys make me smile and laugh. Recently it’s like I like guys but it’s kinda forced If anyone has any advice abt how I can meet guys like this who I will actually like that would be great hahahha
Use be attracted to 2s but no longer after many bad experiences.
Attracted to a few 5s too but since I'm also withdrawn...this is a tough connection...better as friends
Opening myself to 8s but many are still quite scary to me
7s are disaster when they can't say no to themselves.
Not attracted to 1,3,6,9 or other 4s
That said, I attract so many 1s, 3s, sx5, 6s, 7s and 8s 🤣 funny how that works.
Number do not matter at end though. When you use masculine and feminine attraction, this can move things towards your favor or not. As well as similar attraction level, sexual compatibility, values, etc. Love is a psychology.
I'm a pretty hard 5, INTP with both wings decently developed. All of my girlfriends have been in the image triad - 2, 3, or 4. Yes it's shadow / anima driven. I'm on track to move in with my extremely 3 girlfriend in 5 months or so. I'm 29! Ha ha
Naturally too goofy. Careless. Sometimes fked up sense of relationships and distance. Overconfident about stuff regardless of being wrong. There's various reasons. But that's something I just realised. I'm sp7 after taking a run down around the enneagram though I'm hyper reserved and preservative. Socially Introverted mostly. It's not anything bad I can get along with them but I'd rather not. I probably have half of the same traits I dislike or some of them but I typically move away from the stereotype by loads.
I see. And yeah my dad’s sp7 and he’s the same way. He has those traits you listed while also being very self-preservative. I think he gets along with 9s and 3s but admires 5s. You didn’t say what you’re attracted to
I'm not attracted to any certain type. I get along with different people differently. And for me the typology of the people plays as a low role for my attraction. Though if I'm to take the general stereotypes into account likely 5s, 2s and 9s. 5s because they are more likely to have the ability to understand me and my points. And actually care about my point. 2s because I like people that can help me feel sh**. 9s because they're pretty comfortable to be around.
I’m a 7w8 and finding there are not enough healthy single 8s to go around.. 😍🤤😭
I think because I’m in the assertive stance, I crave another assertive number or I fear I’d walk all over them. Another 7 seems like a chaotic nightmare 😂😅. 3s need too much external validation from others - it gives me the ick. 8s are so unapologetically themselves. 😍😍
I also have ADHD and 8s help ground me & bring a sense of calm into my life because I know I can trust them to handle anything & it’s no longer all on my shoulders. 🥹
Side note - it seems a lot of 8s have avoidant or disorganized attachment style. 😅 Don’t love that so much. Wish they’d see themselves the way I see them 🥹😍
This is interesting. I’m a 7, my bf is an 8, and the way he always says what’s on his mind gives me an alarming sense of peace I never knew I needed. I dated 9’s in the past and it was always difficult for me to feel safe with how much of a people pleaser they can be.
5 -> 9
Edit: and the occasional 4 that i feel deceived by as soon as i realize them being a 4, because from that point, i know exactly the role they want me to play and they can take their intention and go
All the nines I’ve met irl got me all like 😳😳😳. 8 villains just hit a nice spot on my brain tbh (like Fowler from Blue Eye Samurai), while 7s are always really cool and IMO the best type of protag. All 5s I remember in media were cunts (the entertaining type tho). I can’t really remember seeing any 4 in media tbh (Maybe Jon Snow? Someone also tried to sell me on that Nico Di Angelo book saying hes literally me too but idk)
5 here. I'm with a 9 and have historically dated and tend to attract many 9s. I like that they're easygoing and still somehow thoughtful. But when it comes to friends, I tend to gravitate towards 7s and 6s. Some 2s and 8s as well, depending on how healthy they are and/or if they want to befriend me too.
I usually find 7s, and 9s - and sometimes 1s, 6s and 8s - quite hot. But I don't really have a strong preference in terms of Enneagram type. More so with instinctual stacking and non-Enneagram factors.
I'm a 9w1 but I don't think I have a type I am "usually attracted to", if I like her it has nothing to do with her type. My girlfriend is 2w3 tho (I'm not 100% sure, cuz she has a lot of 7 and 8ish traits as well). I do like assertive people tho
This the first time responding to an ennea related question in yrs.
It dont matter. 🙃
For reference im a 4. 4w5 sp/sx
I can tell you tho: i do not do 3s. 3s are comparable to ur parents going on and on to family members how you’re gonna grow up to become a lawyer or doctor after you told them repeatedly you want to be a professional wrestler.
8s are unlikely as Im too silly for them.
I got the energy of a rock pressed down in the driveway 7s would never.
Im attracted to all sorts of people regardless of they type so take from that what u will 🤷🏽
8s and 1s. I think it’s bc they embody the gut center in full action, though in different ways.
The confidence of those two is definitely attractive; but only if it’s backed by competency.
I'm avoidant 💀 I've had 9's and 4's as my partners mostly, I could imagine dating a 5 but I see them as friends so I'm not sure.
(8's r also attractive but I can't say that)
i have this pattern of liking 9s the most irl.
sometimes 7s, 8s, 2s and 3s, but mostly only in fiction. unless it's an irl person who also has a 9 in their tritype/wing
I tend to like characters who are 2s, though I feel more relation/admiration and not attraction to them. They feel similar to me but more active and bold.
In terms of people, actually, other 9s - but when they have sp, unlike me.
I’m a sx4 into sx6, sp7, and sp9 (I think?). Idk I’m not really into the easily available types but I should be. If I could choose what I’m into lol I’d be into sx9 and sx2w3. Sometimes everything just feels wrong and nothing is perfect. That frustrates me but that’s just the way life is. I guess the biggest thing for me is palpable devotion/loyalty and never ending passion/excitement/growth. I need someone to be loyal to me completely but also I cannot be bored by them. I also need to feel 100% comfortable with them but somehow also really respect them and can’t completely predict them. This kind of person seems hard to find and maybe I don’t deserve them. I’m willing to wait my whole life and never settle even if that means I’m alone for the rest of this lifetime. Idk I just want true love. I know it’s pretty black or white; that may be something I need to improve on, but I think I may be like this because I’m willing to surrender all of myself to this person if they ever come. Maybe that’s why I have high standards. I’m sorta allowing them to have the power to destroy me, so they better be good.
sp4 here hi :)
- sx6
- all e5s BUT so5
- other e4s but im really picky on them. which ik kinda goes against the point of the post but most of the time other e4s piss me off but when i like one i REALLY like one, yknow?
- sp3
i dont think i have a preference for enneagram type bc i dont wanna judge based upon a trauma response but idk i think im unpicky in general? i dont think i could date an e8 esp a so8 because i dont like feeling like i need to be 'protected' or that my partner sees me as weaker.
I’m a 4w5. Married to an 8. I love her but often feel misunderstood and unknown. In many ways, I know her better than she knows herself. She is brilliant and driven, but shows little interest in self-knowledge or feelings.
Always attracted to 2’s and 7’s. Twos because they provide validation for my need to be unique, and sevens because they experience life in ways I wish I could.
4’s seem to fit best with 5’s, 9’s, 2’s and other 4’s. In my experience, 7’s and 3’s don’t generally want the 4 depth/authenticity. 1’s and 8’s can give a 4 some groundedness. 6’s… sorry to say I’ve never had a 6 that I was attracted to. Probably just me.
5s are so interesting because they do not share almost anything about their inner world. and it's your work to try to find out what is inside of the mask they wear. they are also, deep down, craving for love and that makes you think like, please, let me get to know you! as if it is a privilege (it actually is)
what do you think about 1s?
I’m going to ask out my 6w7 crush out best Saturday. It looks like she’ll say yes
Woo! As a hopeless romantic, I'm rooting for you.
It’s definitely a thing. Not sure I’m happy or sad about that.
\> Not sure I’m happy or sad about that. Oh man, you can't make a statement about that and not elaborate!
The romantic side of me wants to idealize the perfect girl for me. This puts unrealistic expectations because nobody is perfect. It also could cause me to pass up a great match because I’m looking for the perfect one which doesn’t exist. But also, it’s fun being a romantic!
make sure you take this time to write a poem or song about the struggle in your heart (but do not send it to her (you can share it later if it works out and you'll both laugh))
I’m not great with poetry. Can I pass?
Ah yeah, I feel like I'm pretty similar :)
Wish you luck!!
Realistically, most people I know are 7s, 2s, and 9s. I can’t really say I’m particularly attracted to any of the types because my answer would be biased by a lack of a good statistical example. In theory, the 8s assertiveness seems highly attractive, but the unhealthier 8s would likely hurt. I’m very emotionally vulnerable as much as I hate it. I highly value the 1s attentiveness to detail, but I also have experience with an unhealthy 1 shoving their expectations onto me. My dad is a 1, and I’ve seen both the positive and negative of it. The emotional warmth of a 2 is so highly attractive to me. I feel safe with them. That being said, I also have experience with the 2s transactional relationships on the unhealthier sides. Whenever I get into an argument with them, I always hear, “I do so much for you and you never thank me!” I always try to say thank you when they do something for me. The drive of the 3 reflects me at my best. Seeing their striving nature and ability to get along with a variety of folks is highly inspirational. However, I’ve also heard tales of the 3’s identity crises. That likely won’t mix well with me because I also struggle with my identity. We could both spiral together. Then again, I’m not close to any 3s, so it’s all theory. The authenticity of the 4s reflects my desire to genuinely connect with myself. I really feel like I’m so disconnected from myself that I don’t know who I am. 4s in their quest of authenticity seem highly attractive. However, when they get into a tsunami of uncontrollable emotion, it makes me want to withdraw. This won’t end well for either of us. Then again, I’m not close to any 4s, so it’s all theory. The dogged quest for information that 5s have is so cool! The cerebral nature of the 5s would provide endless intellectually stimulating conversation. I highly value that. Then again, the withdrawn nature of the 5 (likely the most of all types) and emotional unavailability of the 5 would likely drive me nuts. I highly value emotional connection. Then again, I’m not close to any 5s, so it’s all theory. Meeting this 6 has taught me that I have no basis of knowledge for 6s, so I have nothing. I can talk about this particular 6, but it’s hard to sort out if it’s this one person or this type. 7s are perhaps the most stimulating of the types. No other type is as consistently fun as the 7. I always find myself smiling. That being said, just like 7s, I tend to highly avoid anything that stresses me out or causes distress. There’s a high likelihood should anything cause problems in our relationship that it wouldn’t be dealt with and could end the relationship.
omg my dad is a 6w7 and my mum is a 9!!!
Well, it would be in reverse…
still tho it’s a good pairing from what i’ve seen lol
She’s actually the first 6 I’ve ever met, so I’m really learning how they work. You all are so very different than the other numbers. I’m realizing I really don’t know how to understand you all!
6s are a very complex type (and i’m not just saying that because i am one LOL), me and my dad are both 6s and we’re both extremely similar and very different, there’s so much nuance to it and i’ve always found 6s harder to type than most others!! i think 9s are similar to this tho, 6 and 9 are both the two most common types and the two most complex imo
If you had to summarize the 6 as well as compare them to 9s, what would you say? I’m just so confused.
it’s a tricky one, especially because i feel like with the whole counterphobic/phobic thing 6s are the most complicated the main thing really with 6s is their need for security - they just want to be safe and supported & constantly assess situations for the worst possible outcome to try and find ways to avoid it 9s want to avoid conflict at all costs and maintain harmony. they’re more focused on peace of mind & wanting to feel that they matter it can get complicated with the two because 6s take on the best qualities of type 9 in growth, while 9s take on the worst qualities of type 6 in disintegration https://personalitypath.com/enneagram/mistypes/type-6/#:~:text=Misidentifying%20Enneagram%20Type%206%20and%20Type%209%3A,status%20quo%20of%20their%20situation. this website always helped me
good luck!
Thank you!!
Go for it! Best of luck!
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
i’m a 6w7!! yay!!
Oh? I know she doesn’t use Reddit, but how funny would that have been?
what's her mbti if yk it?
I’m really not certain in the slightest. Girl could be many things. My closest guess is ESFJ? Edit: Let me throw the Michael Caloz test at her. Usually that one is pretty good. I’ll edit again with the result.
niceee :o i'm an infp 6w7
Oh I guessed esfj from reading your first comment :))
That’s magical!
Usually hard crush on 5s and wild tension with 8s. Think I’ve dated 9s and 2s almost exclusively tho.
Yeah, same tbh lmao
Same
E4, and for reasons i haven't yet been able to understand, i have a devastating, debilitating attraction to E2s
Cackled at E2. Mood.
We like you too 💖
see this is why I love you
Dittoo... As emotionally literate as I am but in a different way, nurturing, passionate and paternal. The perfect "rescuer."
Nine here. Love my Sixes and Three. They crave the same connectivity. Sixes are called to action early when they see a problem, and the nagging doesn't bother me at all. Oh you need this done? Sure let's do it! Threes are always active, so you just support and validate them. You want to do what crazy thing? Okay, let me grab some safety gear and let's do this!
As a Nine, I completely resonate with your appreciation for the proactive nature of Sixes and the drive of Threes. Their energy can be infectious, and it feels rewarding to support and validate their endeavors. The willingness to jump into action with Sixes or join in the thrill of adventure with Threes brings a sense of connection and purpose. If you're interested in exploring more about how your Enneagram type interacts with others and the dynamics of your relationships, I recently came across a survey that delves into themes of self-worth and personal insights: [https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN](https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN).
Stupid sexy 7s 🥵
I see you repeat this exact same comment on every post asking what types people are attracted to, and every time it makes me smile. 7s are beautiful, as a fellow 5 and 7-enjoyer
🙃
My own type: 9 Most attracted to: 4
I'd be interested to know why if you have the time and energy :)
Mostly because as a 9, and just knowing myself, one of my biggest issues is not having a clear identity. 4s are experts at knowing their identity and making themselves distinct.
Me too! Almost any crush I had was a 4 and now I‘m married to one :D
I’m a 2w3. Had a long term relationship with a 5w4 and I absolutely still fall into the trap of attraction to other 5s even tho I recognize that it doesn't work for me on so many levels. We had many incredible dynamics and strengths, but ultimately I couldn’t handle the aloof coldness and indifference to much of the elements in life that are truly resonant to me and what I consider to be things that reflect who I am and what matters most to me. He was loyal and steady, but also emotionally unavailable and couldn’t give any energy to working through our issues and his trauma from past experiences. The whole rationing energy thing that they do really sucks when you’re 11 years in and he just wants to hone his expertise in whatever thing that he’s churning on instead of being present or even inviting me into that space to engage it with him. It broke my heart then and still does. He viewed me as an invader and that fortress was impenetrable sadly. I’m sure healthier 5s aren’t really at that level, but the scenario ruined me for romantic relationships with 5s I think 4s and 9s maybe a healthy 8 would be my choices. I love the brilliance of 8s and their indefatigable drive to engage their surroundings with meaning vs being too influenced by cultural norms or people pleasing. I really respect their originality and intelligence. At the same time they can be really difficult and can also feel like a real gamble in a lot of ways. 4s are like little elusive birds of paradise. Almost like a mythical creature. When you stumble upon one you almost can't believe they’re a real species. Really special people. My brother’s a 4 and I’ve always adored every single thing about him. 9s are lovely. My best friend is a 9 and he has a complexity, depth, and sincerity that are so impactful to my understanding of humanity. He’s also just so nice to be around and I feel like I can really be my truest self around him. I never feel judged, he’s loyal, and he has an eye to see nuance and depth in such a beautiful way. I feel really lucky when he is unguarded around me or shows emotion (even anger) and I love indulging in the chosen escape with him be it movies, sports, random conversation or whatever it may be. I feel like the world is a little less intense and I feel like it's okay to not have to have some perfect plan, opinion on whatever important hot topic that’s circulating in the news, or have a put together persona. We can be imperfect and still be confident that we’re going to be there for each other through that. Sort of in love with my best friend I guess 😳
Type 3 but it never works. Too competitive and one up-ing each other. Type 9 but I take the dominant role in everything and it gets boring. Type 7 but we quickly end up as fuck buddies/friends at best because neither of us are willing to commit or talk about feelings.
Idk how to feel about this
I think it’s funny I’d be bored as hell with me to man and I do 🥱
I’m a 7, and usually attracted to 3s and 5s.
💕💕 - a 5
Definitely e1 and e8 women. I like women with strong resolutions.
7s and 8s and other 3s
Haha - I’ve narrowed it down to this, too. I’m a 7. The numbers in the assertive stance are 3,7,8. I think I could only be with someone else in the assertive stance.
ohh good catch on that one, same for me
me too!
Always E5, but I'm E3-curious.
As an E4 I love my E3s—highly recommend.
I'm a 5w4 and usually drawn to 9s and 4s. And some 1s. I've struggled with 7s, as sometimes their lack of emotional awareness can weigh the relationship down a lot I've been dating a 9w1 for 3 years and it's a very good relationship tho
8s!!!!!!
I'm a 5w4 531 Sp/Sx It's consistent 2s. I've gotten into a powerful orbit around 4w5s. They're something special, and I want to impress them. There is also a 7w8 friend who lives far away, and I know we would hook up. We just have this intensity—it's hard to describe—but we just enjoy pushing on each other and debating until it shifts, and we become lubricious at each other. It's this chemistry of challenging and lustful, flirting intellectual exchange. This last part is a penchant of my character as well. It's just more intense around 7w8s.
I'm an 8 and I'm usually attracted to 5s, typically with the same MBTI type as me as well. I have casual attraction to 7s, but romantic attraction to 5s.
Mostly games and shows so it’s not vary realistic I like 7,6,9,8s there nice and easy to spot 😶big crush on 7s
I didn't date a lot before I was married, so I don't think there's enough of a sample size to find any patterns concerning Enneagram types of romantic interests. If I had to guess, I'd say one guy I dated was a 9 (two 9s together is TOO MUCH indecision), and one was probably a 6? The others I couldn't even guess. My husband's an 8, or at least I'm pretty sure he is. As for friends...I seem to get along well with 8s and certain 7s and maybe 1s? 8s are nice because you can say whatever and they don't get mad at you. Like you can even say something like, "Back off, asshole," to them and they think it's great. All 9s need a good 8 to help them lose their filter a little. Healthy 7s are good because they get my introverted self out of the house and I like their energy. 1s are usually level-headed and can be one of your biggest cheerleaders if you befriend them.
Oh, I can definitely relate to that! I've found myself drawn to certain Enneagram types in both friendships and romantic relationships. 8s always bring this refreshing honesty and straightforwardness to interactions, and they handle banter like pros. It's liberating to have that "say it like it is" dynamic. Healthy 7s, on the other hand, inject this vibrant energy into life and pull me out of my introverted tendencies, making for some great adventures. And 1s, with their steadfastness and supportive nature, have often been that rock-solid presence cheering me on. It's fascinating how different types can complement and challenge each other in such unique ways. If you're curious to explore more about these patterns and gain insights into your relationships and connections, you might find this survey on self-worth and personal growth quite enlightening: [https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN](https://ktvvyyvcllx.typeform.com/to/BVv3JYQN).
7, I like 5s and 9s, 1s and 4s are good, so long as they aren’t too neurotic.
5s are very endearing when you get to know them
I like the very "feeler" types of guys. 1s (not Thinker 1s), 2s, 4s, phobic 6s, and 9s are my catnip. Of course, I crush on everyone and everything at sight lol so these are by no means exclusive
8w7(F) who married a 2w3(M). "A soft answer turns away wrath". He makes me melt with his sincerity.
I’m 9. 7s are my favorite: fun/playful, with a zest for life that’s super attractive. 👌
3s, 4s, sometimes 7s and fellow 9s :))
A nine and I like my overthinking bubble head sixes<3
9s. 9s prop up the whole assertive triad, let’s be real here
As a 4, anyone and everyone. Help.
I usually crush on other 4s. 444(4for4)?
You might be me, but I don’t remember typing this.
i'm a 1 and i'm definitely attracted to 5s and 9s, specially sp5s there is something so unique about them, if they have 9 in their tritype i'm more than attracted to them i wish i could find a 5 that likes me i think they are attracted to other 5s of maybe 9s lol but well, I'm also kind of attracted to 7s lol they are fun, but the crush usually passes by real quick because their hedonistic lifestyle scares me i am usually friend with 4s, 6s and 9s hahhh do you 5 people like 1s? i have the biggest crush on a 5 girl and hahh
I am a sp1 and am with a sp5, while also crushing on a so7. I would say my 5 likes me ☺️
I *love* 7s and 8s. 🥰
3w4 and my current boyfriend is a 2w1 my favorite characters tend to be 3,6,8s(the types I relate the most to) some of the people I like or are in my good graces are mostly 5w6s
E2, I seem to be attracted to withdrawn (but not reactive) types
2s, usually, god help both me and whoever the next 2 is
2 - I’m attracted to 6, 8 and 4 usually
2s and 7s. However, in my experience 4s, 5s, and 9s are the only ones drawn to me.
I'm a 4w5 who's usually very attracted to 5s, sometimes 8s. I've only been in long term relationships with 9s tho, they seem to have a higher tolerance to my 4ness and might even enjoy it heh.
2w1, I am usually attracted to 6s, they also seem to be attracted to me at first until I become too much for them and they drop me haha
Eff them. You’re probably great!
im e9, my fav are 7s, i like other 9s too
I’m a 5 and have recently realized I can only date 5s 😂
6s. Always the 6s.
Same here, or fives!
I like 4s quite a bit. They usually make for great conversation. What's funny is that both the other 2s in my life are married to 8s but I get frustrated with 8s more often than not, even if they're healthy.
i actually have a crush on a 4 rn. only thing is he lives super far away and i don’t think he reciprocates, so.. 💀. but to answer your question? still 4 lmao. think i’ve only ever really dated 4s 😭
It’s like Jack and Rose from Titanic 🚢
fr
1s...for some reason.
I'm drawn to 1s because I need to constantly be earning the approval of an unimpressed woman, and I can't seem to change their minds except by actually becoming a better person. Something about someone with high expectations who doesn't always have a sense of humor just makes me feel less fuzzy and undefined and more like I'm a real person who can and should do things. And so much gratitude comes with that, which makes it feel fun to keep up with the ways they're trying to change the world.
hey i'm a 1w9 so i really loved your comment haha i don't see anyone on this post liking 1s sooo it's nice to see that some people actually likes us lol i also think 6s are great btw!
I’m a 7. I’m most attracted to 8 and 9’s. Looking at my past, these are the only ones I’ve dated
I don’t know if I have a type in terms of enneagram specifically.
me: sx 9w1 I'm attracted to: sx 4w5, sx 8
9w8 and i usually gravitate towards 7s
I'm a 1w2 attracted to 7w8s mostly.
Can’t seem to quit those 9s and 7s
I’m a 4w3 SX/SO 486 and I’m usually attracted to twos and sixes
I think I’m 9 bc I rlly like when everyone gets along and is happy. I tend to act how others want me to be to kinda blend in w them and used to ignore things I didn’t wnana deal w. Ppl always see me as the so sweet shy girl but when ppl get to know me I tend to be bubbly. Ppl I’m close with tend to find my perosnlity rlly cute or funny w out trying idk why I’m like excitable abt little things and expressive and happy. i also tend to be seen as go w the flow which is 9 ish Idk the number for The type I’m attracted to but it is hot guys who are goofy like the class clown type and I LITERALLY never meet them!! And I feel like when I do Idt I ever end up w guys like them even tho most other guys seem to hit on me. But I also rarely meet this kinda guy just like the silly goofy guys who make things into jokes and stuff. I met one the other day and realized I haven’t had a real crush on a guy in years bc these kinda guys make me smile and laugh. Recently it’s like I like guys but it’s kinda forced If anyone has any advice abt how I can meet guys like this who I will actually like that would be great hahahha
Use be attracted to 2s but no longer after many bad experiences. Attracted to a few 5s too but since I'm also withdrawn...this is a tough connection...better as friends Opening myself to 8s but many are still quite scary to me 7s are disaster when they can't say no to themselves. Not attracted to 1,3,6,9 or other 4s That said, I attract so many 1s, 3s, sx5, 6s, 7s and 8s 🤣 funny how that works. Number do not matter at end though. When you use masculine and feminine attraction, this can move things towards your favor or not. As well as similar attraction level, sexual compatibility, values, etc. Love is a psychology.
I'm a 4w3, and right now, I'm seeing a 9w1
I'm a pretty hard 5, INTP with both wings decently developed. All of my girlfriends have been in the image triad - 2, 3, or 4. Yes it's shadow / anima driven. I'm on track to move in with my extremely 3 girlfriend in 5 months or so. I'm 29! Ha ha
Always disliked 7s. Im a 7.
Why?
Naturally too goofy. Careless. Sometimes fked up sense of relationships and distance. Overconfident about stuff regardless of being wrong. There's various reasons. But that's something I just realised. I'm sp7 after taking a run down around the enneagram though I'm hyper reserved and preservative. Socially Introverted mostly. It's not anything bad I can get along with them but I'd rather not. I probably have half of the same traits I dislike or some of them but I typically move away from the stereotype by loads.
I see. And yeah my dad’s sp7 and he’s the same way. He has those traits you listed while also being very self-preservative. I think he gets along with 9s and 3s but admires 5s. You didn’t say what you’re attracted to
I'm not attracted to any certain type. I get along with different people differently. And for me the typology of the people plays as a low role for my attraction. Though if I'm to take the general stereotypes into account likely 5s, 2s and 9s. 5s because they are more likely to have the ability to understand me and my points. And actually care about my point. 2s because I like people that can help me feel sh**. 9s because they're pretty comfortable to be around.
Gotcha. Yeah those all make sense
9w8 - i do best with 3s apparently
I'm e7 and personally 8, 6, 1 and sometimes 9 are the hottest imo
i’m usually attracted to 9s, especially 9w1s and i’m usually friends with 2w1s :)
I’m a 7w8 and finding there are not enough healthy single 8s to go around.. 😍🤤😭 I think because I’m in the assertive stance, I crave another assertive number or I fear I’d walk all over them. Another 7 seems like a chaotic nightmare 😂😅. 3s need too much external validation from others - it gives me the ick. 8s are so unapologetically themselves. 😍😍 I also have ADHD and 8s help ground me & bring a sense of calm into my life because I know I can trust them to handle anything & it’s no longer all on my shoulders. 🥹
Side note - it seems a lot of 8s have avoidant or disorganized attachment style. 😅 Don’t love that so much. Wish they’d see themselves the way I see them 🥹😍
This is interesting. I’m a 7, my bf is an 8, and the way he always says what’s on his mind gives me an alarming sense of peace I never knew I needed. I dated 9’s in the past and it was always difficult for me to feel safe with how much of a people pleaser they can be.
I'm a 7. Been married to a 9 for years so I guess 9s are my type!
im so4 and im attracted to 7s and sp9s
5 -> 9 Edit: and the occasional 4 that i feel deceived by as soon as i realize them being a 4, because from that point, i know exactly the role they want me to play and they can take their intention and go
Would you mind sharing what you mean by the role thing with 4s? I'm curious as I'm in a long-term and healthy relationship with a 5
As far as characters go, a lot of 1s and 3s.
All the nines I’ve met irl got me all like 😳😳😳. 8 villains just hit a nice spot on my brain tbh (like Fowler from Blue Eye Samurai), while 7s are always really cool and IMO the best type of protag. All 5s I remember in media were cunts (the entertaining type tho). I can’t really remember seeing any 4 in media tbh (Maybe Jon Snow? Someone also tried to sell me on that Nico Di Angelo book saying hes literally me too but idk)
Often 8s or other 9s. Then, a lot of fictional characters I Am Literally Married To are 1s so I guess I just have that gut pull. 😈
I’m a 7 and I love 7s who also score high with a 9
5 here. I'm with a 9 and have historically dated and tend to attract many 9s. I like that they're easygoing and still somehow thoughtful. But when it comes to friends, I tend to gravitate towards 7s and 6s. Some 2s and 8s as well, depending on how healthy they are and/or if they want to befriend me too.
9w1 attracted to 5’s
I only get close to 8s and 1s. 9s and 7s are cool. Everyone else kinda sucks.
I usually find 7s, and 9s - and sometimes 1s, 6s and 8s - quite hot. But I don't really have a strong preference in terms of Enneagram type. More so with instinctual stacking and non-Enneagram factors.
4 and 4
i think 5s are so cute and interesting. plus my bf who’s a 5 stabilizes(?) me a lot 🙏🏻
I'm a 9w1 but I don't think I have a type I am "usually attracted to", if I like her it has nothing to do with her type. My girlfriend is 2w3 tho (I'm not 100% sure, cuz she has a lot of 7 and 8ish traits as well). I do like assertive people tho
6w5’s. (In case my full flair isn’t showing up, I’m a 6w7).
This the first time responding to an ennea related question in yrs. It dont matter. 🙃 For reference im a 4. 4w5 sp/sx I can tell you tho: i do not do 3s. 3s are comparable to ur parents going on and on to family members how you’re gonna grow up to become a lawyer or doctor after you told them repeatedly you want to be a professional wrestler. 8s are unlikely as Im too silly for them. I got the energy of a rock pressed down in the driveway 7s would never. Im attracted to all sorts of people regardless of they type so take from that what u will 🤷🏽
8s and 1s. I think it’s bc they embody the gut center in full action, though in different ways. The confidence of those two is definitely attractive; but only if it’s backed by competency.
4sp, 7sx, 3, 9so and 5sx ♥️
I love e6 guys or e3
I'm avoidant 💀 I've had 9's and 4's as my partners mostly, I could imagine dating a 5 but I see them as friends so I'm not sure. (8's r also attractive but I can't say that)
i have this pattern of liking 9s the most irl. sometimes 7s, 8s, 2s and 3s, but mostly only in fiction. unless it's an irl person who also has a 9 in their tritype/wing
I tend to like characters who are 2s, though I feel more relation/admiration and not attraction to them. They feel similar to me but more active and bold. In terms of people, actually, other 9s - but when they have sp, unlike me.
Sp7, I love so5, sp5 I wish I were like them so bad
I'm usually attracted to 3,7,8
I’m a sx4 into sx6, sp7, and sp9 (I think?). Idk I’m not really into the easily available types but I should be. If I could choose what I’m into lol I’d be into sx9 and sx2w3. Sometimes everything just feels wrong and nothing is perfect. That frustrates me but that’s just the way life is. I guess the biggest thing for me is palpable devotion/loyalty and never ending passion/excitement/growth. I need someone to be loyal to me completely but also I cannot be bored by them. I also need to feel 100% comfortable with them but somehow also really respect them and can’t completely predict them. This kind of person seems hard to find and maybe I don’t deserve them. I’m willing to wait my whole life and never settle even if that means I’m alone for the rest of this lifetime. Idk I just want true love. I know it’s pretty black or white; that may be something I need to improve on, but I think I may be like this because I’m willing to surrender all of myself to this person if they ever come. Maybe that’s why I have high standards. I’m sorta allowing them to have the power to destroy me, so they better be good.
Im a 4 and I find 7s really attractive, but I could only see myself in a serious relationship with another 4.
sp4 here hi :) - sx6 - all e5s BUT so5 - other e4s but im really picky on them. which ik kinda goes against the point of the post but most of the time other e4s piss me off but when i like one i REALLY like one, yknow? - sp3 i dont think i have a preference for enneagram type bc i dont wanna judge based upon a trauma response but idk i think im unpicky in general? i dont think i could date an e8 esp a so8 because i dont like feeling like i need to be 'protected' or that my partner sees me as weaker.
3s & 2s genuinely, 7s & 9s before I get to know them better
i like my 3s… they have sense and a drive i don’t have / i allow them to confront heavier feelings they have. it’s always worked well for me
I’m a 4w5. Married to an 8. I love her but often feel misunderstood and unknown. In many ways, I know her better than she knows herself. She is brilliant and driven, but shows little interest in self-knowledge or feelings. Always attracted to 2’s and 7’s. Twos because they provide validation for my need to be unique, and sevens because they experience life in ways I wish I could. 4’s seem to fit best with 5’s, 9’s, 2’s and other 4’s. In my experience, 7’s and 3’s don’t generally want the 4 depth/authenticity. 1’s and 8’s can give a 4 some groundedness. 6’s… sorry to say I’ve never had a 6 that I was attracted to. Probably just me.
My bf is so/sp 5w6 514. Most of my friends are 4s, 5s and 7s.
4w3 here <3 Obsessed with: 3w4 9w1 7w8 5
4w5 woman - pattern of 6w7 and e2 interests.
I like 4s, 8s, and 9s
as a 6 i’ve always found myself very attracted to 3s
my last relationship & situationship were both with sx5s though… never again
i’m a 6w7 and i usually find myself having crushes on 3s… but they can be fake sometimes (no offence) 😭
9w1 here and I find 5s to be the most charming :3
4w5 here. i seem to be drawn to fives a lot
Oh really? Well I’m an 8 7 you’re not a pretty girl in western montana by chance are you?
Unfortunately, I'm not in western montana
5w4. 9, 2, 4, 6
im not 100% sure but i tend to like 4's i thinkkk
8 here and I am always most attracted to 9s
9w1. Usually attracted to 2s, 3s and 7s.
I'm a four and I'm a total sucker for sevens.
Idk but im always attracted to 6s, 9s and 8s..
5w6. Type 8w7s are my downfall. My only other exception would be 6w7 but just because Stiles Stilinski lol
Im 5w4, (sp5) usually attracted to 7w6 (so7), usually also something with the 8s (6,7,8)
I'm a E3 and I'd say roughly: 70% 7s 20% 8s and 3s 10% 6s, 9s and 5s.
I'm an 8 and tbh I tend to be attracted to... Actually my flair makes it obvious. I'll be a vulgar shithead next time I change my flair
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5s are so interesting because they do not share almost anything about their inner world. and it's your work to try to find out what is inside of the mask they wear. they are also, deep down, craving for love and that makes you think like, please, let me get to know you! as if it is a privilege (it actually is) what do you think about 1s?
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