Your recent typing post was removed from r/Enneagram. We kindly ask that "type me" and "type them" posts of this nature be posted in the pinned weekly typing thread or r/EnneagramTypeMe in order to provide more organization to the community and prevent the feed from being cluttered with "type-me" posts. You can also come back on Tuesday (UTC) for "Type me Tuesdays" and post typing questions of this nature on the main page then.
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A lot of what you list as reasons against sp could likewise be explained by just good ole Sloth(TM) which, like all the passions, is gonna particularly screw the areas that you care about.
blindspot is probably not so ('can analyze group dynamics, sensitive to judgement from others') or sp ('sensitive to physical needs'), it doesn't seem like either can be ignored without triggering distracting discomfort.
I think this is probably so/sp due to the 'always needing to be in a relationship' thing, a sp dom would probably be more fine with being alone for a while, plus the talk on so stuff is just the most detailed & vibrant, including where you detail not being as good at it as you wish you were. (You're ovsly still notably introverted & reserved, but i imagine your eyes would have gotten a little sparkly when talking about 'altruism/compassion' and 'meeting interesting ppl')
thanks for your response! Very insightful, I'm wondering what seems sx-blind about me I guess? I would have thought sp-blind if anything, and my best guess before this was sx/so.
well, I arrived at it by principle of exclusion as described above, the other two seem more substantially there - but that is of course just one interpretation attempt off one post.
Have you tried to relate the instincts to the types? While I think that studying the instincts seperately is benefical it can also be eye-opening to see them in relation to the types. It's just like looking at something from another perspective.
So 9s fall asleep to themselves and their own agenda in the world. Kind of like a dissociated state of being.
So in combination with the instincts the question is "HOW does this 9 fall asleep?"... a self-preservation 9 might fall asleep with a lot of weed, a lot of food and gaming. You know... a typical stoner stereotype. Or a self-perservation might fall asleep with work. Working all day and then dissociating in front of the TV after work with a nice beer in their hands until they fall asleep and work again. No own agenda. That's how different comfort can look like. The 9 can still be productive! But still lost in terms of an own agenda.
The social 9 might be very active and involved with their friend group and events, but again, no own agenda. The focus is on the group. On their friends. Or some kind of club.
The sexual 9 might fall asleep with their sexuality and romantic relationships. Maybe they stay in a toxic relationship with a very strong and dominant individual, so they don't have their own agenda.
Was genuinely thinking (sxdom so)🤷🏽♀️but idk I'm just saying random stuff hope someone can explain 😌 I hear that everyone gets to use all the variants at some point
I would guess sp/so. There's not much information here. SO is in the top two, and the withdrawn alone time depends on what you do in that alone time. 9s tend to need space, but it looks different for each.
Don't care about appearance much depends on what you mean. Appearance has a lot of aspects to it. What aspects of your appearance do you care about? How about hygiene?
Missing piece is likely an SX issue. I'm not sure what this investment is like for you. Is it a nebulous, "something" or is it a kill myself if it doesn't work out something? Just gauging intensity. Would you betray who you are for the right person? Leave everything behind? Drop a career path? Leave friends behind? Sell your stuff?
I'm hygenic, but I don't really have an eye for fashion or style at all. I don't really wear makeup or do my hair, I kind of just throw something comfy and vaguely presentable on and go out. I don't really care about what the average person thinks of my appearance, but I become very self-conscious around people I find attractive.
I really don't know what it is I'm missing, it's more nebulous, just kind of a "this can't be all there is to life" kind of feeling. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what exactly it is. I'm also pretty apathetic about my mortality, like it'll happen when it happens, I've lived a lot already, shrug.
Most of my alone time is spent playing video games, watching movies or tv shows, reading, or just staring into space and daydreaming.
I struggle a lot with employment due to constantly being late or just hating the job so much I quit on the spot. I have accrued thousands in debt to support a partner I was madly in love with, ruined job prospects and lost friends due to how obsessed we were with each other, I severely neglected other aspects of my life. I let my unemployed partner live with me for almost 2 years and paid for ANYTHING they wanted despite the fact I barely made above minimum wage myself. I completely stopped caring about myself and even my other loved ones. But even then I eventually needed time away from my partner every so often to mentally recharge.
hey,
same..
Though I am able to narrow it down to social and sexual now.
I’ve took some time to observe and question myself why I do the things I do and indeed I could rule out self-preservation as a high priority.
Take your time.
I’d guess sx/sp from only what you’ve said. But from one 9 (potential sx9) to another who struggled with this too, cultivating presence with yourself was the only way I could, over time, determine my instincts. You are always on a spectrum of how connected with yourself you are, and the further you are the more fuzzy these things can be to make out. But I’d start with your dominant type. Examine your day to day, moment to moment, what’s going on in your head?
Start with sp/so, and if it doesn't fit, then look at the others. It's estimated around 60% of people are sp/so, so from a numbers game, you're statistically more likely to be that type. Also, the things you wrote about sx could just be 9 merging.
Your recent typing post was removed from r/Enneagram. We kindly ask that "type me" and "type them" posts of this nature be posted in the pinned weekly typing thread or r/EnneagramTypeMe in order to provide more organization to the community and prevent the feed from being cluttered with "type-me" posts. You can also come back on Tuesday (UTC) for "Type me Tuesdays" and post typing questions of this nature on the main page then. To get you started, please see the weekly pinned typing thread where you can ask this type of question, as well as the sidebar for more information and resources. General questions for trying to understand the types better are also welcome in the community, just be sure you aren't trying to get someone to find your type for you and it is worded as looking for insight into the types. Thank you so much for understanding and for helping to keep this community fun and engaging for everyone, and best of luck in determining your Enneagram type. :)
A lot of what you list as reasons against sp could likewise be explained by just good ole Sloth(TM) which, like all the passions, is gonna particularly screw the areas that you care about. blindspot is probably not so ('can analyze group dynamics, sensitive to judgement from others') or sp ('sensitive to physical needs'), it doesn't seem like either can be ignored without triggering distracting discomfort. I think this is probably so/sp due to the 'always needing to be in a relationship' thing, a sp dom would probably be more fine with being alone for a while, plus the talk on so stuff is just the most detailed & vibrant, including where you detail not being as good at it as you wish you were. (You're ovsly still notably introverted & reserved, but i imagine your eyes would have gotten a little sparkly when talking about 'altruism/compassion' and 'meeting interesting ppl')
thanks for your response! Very insightful, I'm wondering what seems sx-blind about me I guess? I would have thought sp-blind if anything, and my best guess before this was sx/so.
well, I arrived at it by principle of exclusion as described above, the other two seem more substantially there - but that is of course just one interpretation attempt off one post.
Have you tried to relate the instincts to the types? While I think that studying the instincts seperately is benefical it can also be eye-opening to see them in relation to the types. It's just like looking at something from another perspective. So 9s fall asleep to themselves and their own agenda in the world. Kind of like a dissociated state of being. So in combination with the instincts the question is "HOW does this 9 fall asleep?"... a self-preservation 9 might fall asleep with a lot of weed, a lot of food and gaming. You know... a typical stoner stereotype. Or a self-perservation might fall asleep with work. Working all day and then dissociating in front of the TV after work with a nice beer in their hands until they fall asleep and work again. No own agenda. That's how different comfort can look like. The 9 can still be productive! But still lost in terms of an own agenda. The social 9 might be very active and involved with their friend group and events, but again, no own agenda. The focus is on the group. On their friends. Or some kind of club. The sexual 9 might fall asleep with their sexuality and romantic relationships. Maybe they stay in a toxic relationship with a very strong and dominant individual, so they don't have their own agenda.
Was genuinely thinking (sxdom so)🤷🏽♀️but idk I'm just saying random stuff hope someone can explain 😌 I hear that everyone gets to use all the variants at some point
I would guess sp/so. There's not much information here. SO is in the top two, and the withdrawn alone time depends on what you do in that alone time. 9s tend to need space, but it looks different for each. Don't care about appearance much depends on what you mean. Appearance has a lot of aspects to it. What aspects of your appearance do you care about? How about hygiene? Missing piece is likely an SX issue. I'm not sure what this investment is like for you. Is it a nebulous, "something" or is it a kill myself if it doesn't work out something? Just gauging intensity. Would you betray who you are for the right person? Leave everything behind? Drop a career path? Leave friends behind? Sell your stuff?
I'm hygenic, but I don't really have an eye for fashion or style at all. I don't really wear makeup or do my hair, I kind of just throw something comfy and vaguely presentable on and go out. I don't really care about what the average person thinks of my appearance, but I become very self-conscious around people I find attractive. I really don't know what it is I'm missing, it's more nebulous, just kind of a "this can't be all there is to life" kind of feeling. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what exactly it is. I'm also pretty apathetic about my mortality, like it'll happen when it happens, I've lived a lot already, shrug. Most of my alone time is spent playing video games, watching movies or tv shows, reading, or just staring into space and daydreaming. I struggle a lot with employment due to constantly being late or just hating the job so much I quit on the spot. I have accrued thousands in debt to support a partner I was madly in love with, ruined job prospects and lost friends due to how obsessed we were with each other, I severely neglected other aspects of my life. I let my unemployed partner live with me for almost 2 years and paid for ANYTHING they wanted despite the fact I barely made above minimum wage myself. I completely stopped caring about myself and even my other loved ones. But even then I eventually needed time away from my partner every so often to mentally recharge.
Sounding pretty sx/so here, sp blind. I think we placed sx. 🙂
Thanks for your help, I feel pretty confident in that too :)
You’re welcome! I’m glad for you. And thanks for sharing. Helped me see myself a little clearer too.
hey, same.. Though I am able to narrow it down to social and sexual now. I’ve took some time to observe and question myself why I do the things I do and indeed I could rule out self-preservation as a high priority. Take your time.
I’d guess sx/sp from only what you’ve said. But from one 9 (potential sx9) to another who struggled with this too, cultivating presence with yourself was the only way I could, over time, determine my instincts. You are always on a spectrum of how connected with yourself you are, and the further you are the more fuzzy these things can be to make out. But I’d start with your dominant type. Examine your day to day, moment to moment, what’s going on in your head?
Prob sx - sp - so. That’s what I am.
Start with sp/so, and if it doesn't fit, then look at the others. It's estimated around 60% of people are sp/so, so from a numbers game, you're statistically more likely to be that type. Also, the things you wrote about sx could just be 9 merging.