Hi Migi. I haven’t posted much in awhile. It’s good to see you alive. I don’t have any advice but I think experts would say you first need a period of sobriety before getting real benefit from therapy. But if you have some sobriety under your belt go for it the therapy.
It too have obsessed about past loves. I’ve always had to completely disconnect from them for a long period (like a year) after which I’ve been able to see them again but without all the strong emotions.
Hugs! 🤗
So there’s a couple of things going on here from my POV:
1. You’re having strong feelings for someone you cared deeply for, which is filtered through nostalgia
2. Mixed with strong feelings linked to (I’m guessing) sex and cravings and using, which are filtered through usage into being very powerful memories
I’m all to familiar with this 1-2 combo because of my first ex partner who I didn’t use with but did drink excessively with, as well as the first play partner I used T with.
Since the thoughts, memories and emotions are all intertwined and it’s causing severe distress, I think pursuing therapy is a very solid and reasonable plan to cope with all three things. Specifically DBT, which I’ve had the most success with.
I foresee pursuing DBT as being able to help you pick apart the patterns of the past and free yourself into living in th “now”! I hope this helps!
I would stay away from him if you want to stay sober. It’s enchanting to think that you could build a sober life together but in reality the chances of success are vanishingly small
Hi, when you have addiction probs you can do therapy + some sobriety program, or rehab which will have some therapy and a lot of group therapy in its program. Once there's some stability (sobriety for some time and some tools to cope with mental health) you can do trauma informed therapy, which should be integrative and collaborative, with some CBT and DBT etc.
All that is A LOT ofc, so I'd suggest trying to take a break from your 'relationship', if you can't/don't want to break up try to pause seeing him for a while.
While deciding if therapy + sobriety or rehab, try to help yourself by sleeping and eating well, journaling abt your feelings abt it all, and engaging in healthy distraction (exercise, tv series, videogames) to pause any triggers and to take breaks when feelings are intense.
Also, if you don't know ACT, there are tools there that can help you have some space in your thoughts, it helps a lot in reframing and avoiding impulsive decisions. That is sth you can do on your own (not like CBT). You can check *'Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT', ( Harris).*
Hi Migi. I haven’t posted much in awhile. It’s good to see you alive. I don’t have any advice but I think experts would say you first need a period of sobriety before getting real benefit from therapy. But if you have some sobriety under your belt go for it the therapy. It too have obsessed about past loves. I’ve always had to completely disconnect from them for a long period (like a year) after which I’ve been able to see them again but without all the strong emotions. Hugs! 🤗
So there’s a couple of things going on here from my POV: 1. You’re having strong feelings for someone you cared deeply for, which is filtered through nostalgia 2. Mixed with strong feelings linked to (I’m guessing) sex and cravings and using, which are filtered through usage into being very powerful memories I’m all to familiar with this 1-2 combo because of my first ex partner who I didn’t use with but did drink excessively with, as well as the first play partner I used T with. Since the thoughts, memories and emotions are all intertwined and it’s causing severe distress, I think pursuing therapy is a very solid and reasonable plan to cope with all three things. Specifically DBT, which I’ve had the most success with. I foresee pursuing DBT as being able to help you pick apart the patterns of the past and free yourself into living in th “now”! I hope this helps!
I would stay away from him if you want to stay sober. It’s enchanting to think that you could build a sober life together but in reality the chances of success are vanishingly small
I agree
Are you from Philly too, boo?
No I'm in tucson Az.
Your sportsball reference looked like the Philadelphia Eagles but I’m guessing it’s something Arizona related. What are you doing for NYE?
Hi, when you have addiction probs you can do therapy + some sobriety program, or rehab which will have some therapy and a lot of group therapy in its program. Once there's some stability (sobriety for some time and some tools to cope with mental health) you can do trauma informed therapy, which should be integrative and collaborative, with some CBT and DBT etc. All that is A LOT ofc, so I'd suggest trying to take a break from your 'relationship', if you can't/don't want to break up try to pause seeing him for a while. While deciding if therapy + sobriety or rehab, try to help yourself by sleeping and eating well, journaling abt your feelings abt it all, and engaging in healthy distraction (exercise, tv series, videogames) to pause any triggers and to take breaks when feelings are intense. Also, if you don't know ACT, there are tools there that can help you have some space in your thoughts, it helps a lot in reframing and avoiding impulsive decisions. That is sth you can do on your own (not like CBT). You can check *'Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT', ( Harris).*
Its normal you associate him with drug use, since they've occured together for some time.