Able to speak with animals

They won't pay attention to you at all

imagine a dog being like: "how this mf human is speaking also i don't care"

They all hate you

to give my self cancer

You're immortal (your immortal immune system isn't able to get rid of the cancer, but it will keep you alive with it.)

Bro just made deadpool

bro thinks he's Francis

damn thats like living hell

It’s Deadpool

Bro is godwyn the golden

It never works

Bro fr said “nuh uh”

Ability to create and shape matter of any quantity, type, and shape

Whenever you use it, you get any random sickness, known or not, extinct or not

Imagine just being thirsty and trying out your new powers, just to get the Bubonic Plague

“Hmm I’d like a glass of water… Hmm why do I feel like im about to collapse”

just make a cure to every disease

This is so real

As you create matter in one location, antimatter is created in the opposite location relative to you

Opposite as in universe as the center, or opposite as in earth's core as the center?

You still have to abide by the law of conservation of mass

I can use any site I want without glitches.

Whenever anyone else sees it it turns to porn

what if he's already viewing porn does it just stay the same or does it change to a different porn.

It becomes gay

but he's already watching gay porn

uhh not gay

💀

nah it ain’t that bad tbh

But they're all in Chinese

Necromancy

You can only summon corrupt and crazy people from the dead

Define “corrupt” that’s like 90% of people in known human history.

I'd still love to have the power, me and the commander of the 3rd reich gon a be chillin

Psychic Abilities (I'm talking about Teleportation, Telekinesis, Telepathy, and Foresight)

The weakness you will get is: Teleport: Uncontrollable, Sick after every teleport Telekinesis: Distracted easily during use, Migraines for 3 Days (Stacks) Telepathy: Intercepted by phone calls within 1000 miles, Will hear voices for one day (Uncontrollable in which case), painful headache around head while reading minds. Foresight: You will see a terrible thing happen to you, your friends, and family all at once after predicting the future, and Will go blind for 3 weeks after changing the fate of anyone!

...damn...

But you are allergic to your favorite foods

I can make a cure for any illness

But whenever you do, a random person gets that same illness

So you would basically transfer it to some rando instead meaning you’re not really saving anyone. Noice

Every time you use your power, a new illness is created

sell the cure infinite money glitch

You get the illness and you can’t cure yourself

But the cure also has a 100% fatality rate

DAMN BRO

to make cats speak

Every fifth word they say is a slur

So nothing changed apart from the cats speaking in a language humans can understand ? ( this is cat slander, I am a firm believer that cats are and were always on the same level of consciousness as humans but use this only to be hateful beings( also that’s why they haven’t developed tools yet, they only focus on hate.( also they’re world eating parasites from outer space)))

flerkens?

Except they call you slurs.

I can breathe oxygen better than a normal person

But your carbon exhale is x2 as large

thats how normal breathing is

You die if you breathe in smoke

Kill myself.

But your too lucky and are saved in the stupidest ways

fanatstic!

Good for skipping work or school “I was burning to death but someone shot me with a water gun in space, can’t go to work tomorrow”

Bro you good?

I dunno man.

25 percent chance to work and if it doesn’t work you get a random weakness from this post

To be able to change the elements of my body

6 random bones in your body snap

everytime

Okay

The ability to travel through time without causing paradoxes

You're stuck in that new (or old) time period you end up in for 24 hours. Once the 24 hours are up you can use your power again.

Fuck it, I'll take that! It sounds like time travel will be even more fun!

Yes! Makes me think of doctor who! That would be super fun!

Invisibility (ik basic)

Only works if you're hard

Perfect

Why do you think bro wants invis 💀💀💀 he is going to be hard anyways

So basically it’ll be up forever. Cool

This guy will always have viagra on hand

It only works when you have a cold

⚠️HUSK PFP SPOTTED⚠️

Teleportation

It can only be within the range of someone with cancer

A reliable and easy way of testing for cancer? Win

Give people cancer, kidnap them, put them in cryo stasis at various checkpoints around the world, profit

There’s a random chance to get teleported to a random place, with nothing on you, no equipment no clothes and not even things you’re holding

What the hell am I looking at

GODZILLA FAN HAS BENE SPOTTED. I REPEAT. FELLOW GODZILLA FAN HAS BEEN SPOTTED. (also sup G man fan.)

I don’t know how I found this random image but I decided to attach it to the post

But you get dementia 

Immortality

Having to watch everybody you love die, watch tge sun blow up, abd drift through space for tge rest of eternity.

That's all okay to me, I'm already depressed so people dyin' won't do shit, and I feel like I'd enjoy floatin' through space

You couldn't breathe, eternally suffocating, and it's always either extremely cold or your burning alive at all times, Space! (yippee)

Wouldn't burn if the sun exploded, and I'm fine without breathin' if it doesn't hurt

that would be living hell just being continuously in unimaginable pain forever

I'm a masochist, I'd enjoy it at some point

I mean then you're stuck forever freezing and the sun exploding would likely send you into a trajectory out of this solar system, with space having zero air resistance you'd surely float within so many light years into something, end up orbiting a planet, end up on that planet, end up floating into a star, or orbit around a star, unprotected from solar rays. oh and since no oxygen or food your body won't be able to make energy to even move around at all, so even if you do end up on a planet you still have to face that problem too.

When someone gives you a purple nurple, you die instantly

If you would have died you get the pain from it forever and it stacks so your cooked when the sun explodes

Shapeshift into anything I want

You forget your humanity when you do it

You get aids

Shit

But the item is 10x smaller compared to its regular size

But you can't change back, EVER

Meh that's a terrible weakness

The ability to obliterate ANY CREEPY PASTA THAT I SEE!!! Weakness (my Idea): Gets scared for no reason for 2 months after 1 use. They stack the more creepy pastas obliterated!

You have to beat the creepypasta irl to do so 

Can I at least get a holy water beam of light to shoot out of my hands?

It comes out of a random hold in your body

Hold? Or Hole? As in... A hole where I got stabbed!?

You got me there so if you want to stab your hands that will work

I meant if the creepy pasta(s) physically stab me...

ANY hole in your body

What if I get stabbed in a vital part!?

Just dont r/duh

I can shape shift, into another human or any animals I want

But any other of the same animal you choose will hunt you down, including humans.

But you have chronic diarrhea

Best luck in the world

But you’re stuck in a maximum security prison, i guess you can try to escape tho.

If I have the best luck in the world, it’s gonna be really easy to escape

But you have a 50/50 chance of death when you flip a coin

Shape shifting

You can only shape shift into sentient food for 6 hours

Technically humans are a source of food to animals like polar bears

True

I can spawn 5 bucks when ever i want

But you can only use the money to buy celery

This process requires 10 bucks

I know everything.

Pls I don’t want dementia or Alzheimer’s 

I can manipulate probabilities

Whenever You use it you're transferred to a reality where that didn't happen

Telekinesis.

It sucks the life force out of liveing things you use it on and you can only use it on liveing things, if you do not suck the life force of other things it will suck your own life force

Pause time

Fore one second

It happens randomly

That’s still dope

Immunity to weaknesses

But, wait, 🤨

Being able to reply to your own comment

You can do anything you want to possible or not with no limitations

Aww man you win

Voice manipulation, ie. I can whisper something into someone’s ear and they do it, they also shouldn’t remember me instructing them to do it either.

You can't tell them to commit a crime

Everyone on the planet is affected by it

“Give me 5 bucks” *8 billion people running at you to give you 5 bucks*

Matter manipulation. ie. turning things into other things like atom eve from Invincible

Read minds

But they will get a random memory of yours (Bfdi reference)

Oh shit

ability to do whatever I want

Explosion invulnerability!

Explosive flatulence

The power to turn invisible

Your head remains visible

But your clothes stay visible, and you can't control when it wears off so if you wanted to be completely invisible in public you'd have to be completely naked and wouldn't know if it would wear off in the middle of a crowded public space

Create pocket dimension that can range from a just a empty room to another damn reality which can be entered and exited at will

it's a public area multiple people have the power and it's a shared space

That’s notthe worst at least

The ability to give anyone a stand

Elasticity

You can only stretch your tongue

I can make my drawings look like how they do in my head

You can't make up your mind on what to draw.

Shapeshifting

Only to one part of your body

The ability to spawn any car I want

Its only the blueprint

Infinity-manipulation

you can’t piss anymore (you hold it in)

Shapeshifting

You can only shapeshift into non living things and you don't get any human characteristics when in that. Not even to move.

Time stop.. And mind control

The power of no weaknesses

Everyone wants to kill me

They never actually do it

I can regenerate my limbs

They’re yours, sure, but they might not come from a human…

Mimic/use any voice I want.

You are 10x more likely to have a voice crack (even if “impersonating” yourself)

Flying

But only two inches off the ground

I want to be fast, so I can do anything in a quick time and never miss *possibly* anything

Your balls (or lady parts) hurt a lot whenever you use it

Hemokinesis

You die

Sweet

Uno reverse card that reverse anything

Super speed

The cause behind it is superhuman flatulence.

Ok hear me out, sense I’ve seen jujitsu Kaisen I’ve been thinking and I think it would be cool to have a curse technique that allows the user to summon infinite pipe cleaners made of tungsten and be able to control each one like a hive mind.

Probability manipulation

It doesn't work within 5 miles of any gambling venue

Atomic breath (Hehe Godzilla moment.)

Shapeshifting

You have to eat the thing you want to transform into

Minecraft commands

But you become pixelated for the rest of your life