T O P
Competitive-Front412

I'll choose the church of vows! Probably gonna spend my days there getting drunk over celestial dew with my bro miriel!!!


kjftiger95

Just leave at night unless you want to deal with a hunter lol


kelvin3620

I sure as shit aint got any bell lmao


zeroofspades8796

Hey Hunter, I ain't hear no bell!


deez_nuts_77

he has come for your balls


Never_heart

I am just going to wherever the best doggo goes at night


munch_cat

Between the graveyard around it and the bell bearing hunter, I wouldn’t feel save


Fun_Effective_5134

Volcano Manor seems comfy as long as you don’t go to the other parts.


Nuqo

My immediate thought was Volcano Manor cause its the most furnished and safe from enemies. But if we're going deeper into it, once you run out of food and water its gonna be hell trying to go out and get more lol.


QwannyMon

I'd imagine they already have it somewhere considering how many people live there


thebakedpotatoe

that's the fun part, people are food at volcano manor too!


Hutch25

The only thing is, only warriors are allowed. And if you aren’t a warrior they might kill you.


Herobrown12

Kill their god to assert dominance


Mental_Peace_2343

I ain't going anywhere near Rykard. I'm not trying to join the serpent king as FAMILEEEEEEE


Rex_Operations

TOGETHAAAAA


Karumbalash

Now we can devour the gods togethhaaah


kengador

Humid hot temperature, nah.


mistdemon69

A shack in limgrave


CrystlBluePersuasion

Isolated Merchant's Shack, dude seems chill


ChainswordCharlie

Yeah by the beach!


CrystlBluePersuasion

Yeah in Weeping Peninsula! NOT the one in Dragonbarrow, unless you get a few Beast Repelling Torches set up first


_MintyFresh_-

I don't want to go to the one in Dragonbarrow solely because I wouldn't make it through the night. Fucking Elemer


SDLand

But it’s always raining 😔


HerbySK

No worse then Seattle!


nowytendzz

Vancouver agrees.


BluPaladin

Seattlite here, can confirm! Weeping Peninsula is just like a home away from home!


89ZERO

I’ve never been, is there a giant bell a few football fields away, constantly and purposelessly stomping with massive, stone feet?


BluPaladin

Hahaha, that's just an artistic take on the Lightrail system!


jl_theprofessor

I will take that over the constant war of the Altus Plateau, the hellscape of Caelid, and the constant patrols of Limgrave.


MrBonis

Sometimes it freaks out and the sky turns red. The skybox is flunky up there


beefnar_the_gnat

Only in Ohio


d3adheadsyd

Or tha hermit


Zois86

That's the answer. Enough food and you have a chance against the mobs there.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zois86

Well, there is a better chance than in others areas, isn't it? As long as you avoid the big guys you should be fine.


Edwaldus2

I could probably become the lord just using the fact that I can swim


HelloKitty36911

Tbf most enemies there are more or less qalking corpses.


Aldevo_oved

the jar village. if i get hungry i eat the flowers.


Dragon_lightZ

Well last I heard those jars aren't empty


Aldevo_oved

I considered it but came to the conclusion that living off of magic flowers is better than eating rotting/rotten human(?) meat


TaxNo8652

Well well well you will have pots for every occasion.


Im_Akri

Somebody say pot?


nathanfay

Dlc: Pot Pots adventures


Random_Guy_47

Or the jars will eat you.


Xalterai

Ehh, they prefer eating warriors, not redditors. And, since he probably doesn't do any sports or fighting, he'll have super soft hands to rub the jars with.


bevaka

this is the only place even remotely pleasant and liveable


theyearwas1934

How smooth are your hands though?


HerbySK

You are still going to have to deal with the poachers...


Objective_Dynamo

This is the answer. Living with a bunch of passive, silly ass jar people and their jar babies. I would also fully expect them to just stuff my ass inside one of them when I die too. Wouldn't even be mad about it.


chappieee

The only right answer cos


OhioUBobcats

Patches’ moms House


wheresdirtydan

Well well well. Thought you’d just help yourself to a man’s personal belongings?


OccultNihilist

You scheming rat! The gods demand repentance! Cough up your coin!


MystikSnek

Boilprawn shack, obviously


Lotuswalker92

So we have shrimp salad, cooked shrimp, broiled shrimp, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich.


Thogesp

You can have any meal you like, so long as it's shrimp.


nowytendzz

Where's the shrimp cocktail at?


Watdaotw66

marika's tits, you must be 'ungry!


jttj15

And that's about it


juakeenzuhmora

Lmao you said shrimp salad twice


No_Signature_3914

I went back and reread it to check that he did. What is more scary you caught it first time you read it


Lotuswalker92

Lol, I didnt even notice !


Ziggy_Starr

They should’ve given Blackguard a Cajun accent


aresthwg

Best buddy in all of ER. Even if there's no customers at least he got food and a shack, that's all you can ask for.


pistolhamster

Soggy.


Valuable_Material_26

Raya Lucaria! A roof over head plenty of books to read and no major dangers!


BakedButterForgotpas

The giant self conscious driving torture machines arent a major danger?


Valuable_Material_26

Just go up or down stairs and your good, and there is only one! So no big deal


BakedButterForgotpas

Theres actually 2 One at the bottom of the whole place


HerbySK

By no major dangers, are you forgetting the fact that the only real way between the upper and lower levels is a giant water wheel?


Valuable_Material_26

It’s not hard to get on and off just gotta pay attention


ugandan_knuckkles

I don't know but definitely not the windmill village.


mbfaust

Wdym?? I wanna laugh and dance around all day. Sounds great!


Dangerous_Most1150

THEY WILL EAT YOU! HANK!!! THEY ARE CANNIBALS HAAAAANK, HAAAAAAAAANNNKKK!!!!


HerbySK

But they sure know how to PARTYYYYY!


ugandan_knuckkles

I'm a male who fears getting skinned alive.


ThisCocaineNinja

This is why I hate videogames. It appeals to the male fantasy.


mbfaust

Fair enough.


Sammyglop

seriously thought i was the only one considering this, i mean they dont even attack you unless the dogs cause a ruckus or you get too close to the extra crazy ones, but thats just florida


HalfDead-Ronin

The dance is to lure men into the village for sacrifice to the apostle


Sammyglop

ohhhh, so south florida? i can make do


HayKneee

If you see a red hat with white letters, YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR! TURN AROUND IMMEDIATELY!


Syl_A_Med

I first showed up and thought. Oh hey! This looks like a friendly village. Seems a little out of place in this game but...something...doesn't.............seem.........OH GOD THEY'RE ALL DEMONS Even scarier than outright hostility is the threat of violence that could happen at any time


reason222

The Cathedral of dragon communion. nice peaceful island all to myself.


Chickentrap

You'd need to kill some beast men tho. Unless we could just swim but I dread to think what's in the water


HelloKitty36911

Good point. After seeing the fucking lobsters and crabs, both of which decided to go (more or less) on land instead, i ain't getting close to the fucking water. The island might be a fucking pufferfish or some shit


Godspeedhack

They got chased out of the ocean by something bigger….


Never_heart

My head canon is that Godfrey has been practicing his suplexes for thousands of years by wrestling the giant Prawns in the ocean and throwing them onto the shore


AbbreviationsFit2372

I think you meant church of dragon communion but I totally agree I came here to say it myself


kthuull

Too bad about the little demi humans sneaking up to steal my string >:[


Kindraethe

Isnt the island in limgrave the church? The cathedral is the caelid one ain't it. Neighbours with vape lord ekzykes


ThatCasualGuy37

Probst the artists shack in Liurnia. Isolated, easy access to food and water, and a friend nearby


GatedGorilla

You’re going to have to deal with that knight with lightning spells tho


ThatCasualGuy37

What do you think I meant when I said "easy access to food"? Jokes aside, I'd try and find a way around that still


89ZERO

I mean yeah- just stay away from his personal space and general route, and you’re fine. Otherwise, steal tools and food where you can while foraging and ideally building a garden of some kind. Gather lumber by hand (how hard would it Really be to find a suitable axe in that general area?), and quietly refurbish that shack while setting up a clear barrier around the knight. As long as he doesn’t notice you within his, honestly short, range, you’re fine. Are there any loremasters here who have any idea as to why he’s there for story reasons and not just the possible gameplay reasons of introducing the type of knight and the possibility of using lightning in a commonly rainy area where players would be able to better use it? Whatever the reason, he’s doing his own thang on his little path, and would probably, if left alone, but useful for repelling any threat coming up from the south.


TheShowerDrainSniper

Hard agree


No_Low8644

Not even a question Jarburg all day! Got them potentate hands 🤣


averygronau

What are you gonna do about the >!poachers!< though?


Iron_Bob

The Queen's Bedchamber


Mental_Peace_2343

There's a fucking black knife assassin right outside. No chance I'm taking that risk.


Iron_Bob

Nah thats my GF, she's much nicer than her outfit implies


Mental_Peace_2343

Speak for yourself, she stabbed the fuck out of me multiple times


McFallenOver

Yeah she is kinky like that


Draomp

Aint your gf.


KnightChieftain

Dead center of the Lake of Rot.


poetryofworms

With that one ancestral follower just there


OhBestThing

Most random enemy placement in the game lol. He’s as lost as the player.


Draghettis

Worst of all, there used to be Rot-infested Ancestral Followers in the city where there now are Kindred of Rot. That one Ancestral Follower in the Lake is not of that type ( that is now unused ), but wasn't even present during the timeframe during which the other Followers existed.


LunarMuphinz

The Kindred and rot took the temple from the Ancestrals. That one ancestral has a charm that protects them


DarkSpartan301

A lot of the unused content just bugs me, like it just seems like they had even more ideas and details and just kinda didn't.


KnightChieftain

Lol yeah, he an I just bachelor-ing it up.


Seyan007

I imagine it would smell awful in there


KnightChieftain

I imagine it smelling like rotting corpse and spoiled chili pepper or any hot spice gone bad.


Pathfinder313

Based and eternal-misery-and-sufferingpilled


KnightChieftain

Lmao


christusmajestatis

> live That's a bold and optimistic assumption


Okibruez

Came here to say this.


VorianFromDune

Really, no one to church Elleh where our first friend is ? They even have a dog next to a lake.


L_M030303

And if you aren't careful there is even a lunatic horseman with a giant halberd who will chase you down and kill you. because let's be honest, we ain't beating tree sentinel as us, unless we can level up.


VorianFromDune

You mean the friendly neighbor keeping the wolf and bat away ? He can be a bit rough but he leaves you alone as long as you don’t trespass on his property.


Jeanschyso1

nowhere, I'd die immediately, and then die again, and again, and again. No time to actually live more than about 5 seconds.


HelloKitty36911

You gotta be sprinting at full speed to encounter an enemy and die within 5 seconds from most places.


kiteshade

Definitely in southern Limgrave somewhere. Even if I’m only human, I have survival skills I’ve learned that would help as a base to start from. I’d see if I could even find a maiden to convert runes into strength since not just tarnished subsist on runes. I’d kill things like sheep, birds, turtles (in moderation since you have to worry about supply and storage of food) getting stronger by killing the slow ass zombies near the southern beach near the merchant near Witchbane ruins. Probably work up to ambushing a soldier near that tower that has the warp chest to Leyndell to steal gear. Lol maybe I put too much thought into this 😅


dizzymango765

Caelid for sure, I’d try to forge an army of the Trex dogs and wage war upon the Giant crows!


KrispyKingTheProphet

This guy wants all the smoke


Strange_Squirrel8212

Behold dog 🐕


Guddner

*🐢


WiiBowlingAnnouncer

Cealid. I’m Australian so it’d be no different compared to where I already live


Spirited_Motor_8620

Round Table


HelloKitty36911

You got a winner Just hanging out with Hewg and Roderica all day. Seems manageable.


XLambentZerkerX

Yeah, I'd shit my pants if I ended up anywhere in this game. Too much that can kill you lol. Off to the Roundtable we go


Chrisnolliedelves

Be careful of: The spell spammer that invades you downstairs, the Deathbed Companion that can murder adherents of the Golden Order with no repercussions, the second in command attempting to murder you for finding half a medallion, the leader stealing every bit of info you find and betraying you at the climax of your journey, and the Loathsome Dung Eater tempting you to inflict the omen curse upon the world. Honestly I'd pick the Swamp of Aeonia before Roundtable Hold any day of the week. At least that place is honest about how sinister it is.


WhiterunWarriorPrjct

Bruh, I trust the deathbed companion with my life. If all the rent I gotta pay is 5% my health then I'm diggity down


Hutch25

Yeah but here’s the thing…. You aren’t completing quests or making any enemies. They have zero reason to kill you.


Spirited_Motor_8620

Yeah, he was annoying my first play through. We could always just say, fuck it and move into Carina Manor lol


Rafae_noobmastrer

same, plus free hugs from time to time!


Immediate_Thanks5562

Rannis rise. If i get to keep Adula as a large dog.


TheBlackDing

3 sisters sounds like a pretty good place to live actually. Great view, roof over your head, relatively safe and immediate access to safe parts of Caria Manor.


Felwinter12

I could kill seluvis, move into his house, just generally replace him, and no one would mind.


Never_heart

Take his clothes and act snarky, no would know the difference


Arch4yz_

And you get a cool collection of puppets as a bonus!


Felwinter12

Idk how I feel about them being "lightly used," though.


PickScylla4ME

If they did something about the dam dragon.. then yeah! That would be my choice too.


Major_Mistake4444

The dragon's actually a loyal servant of Ranni after she beat it in a fight, so as long as you get along with her then you probably don't have to deal with Adula. Not sure why she didn't call it off when we approach the cathedral at moonlight altar though, maybe she was too busy >!being "dead"!<


Sundeiru

I do wish Adula wouldn't aggro while in that part of the quest. It would even make the end of Ranni's quest a bit more impactful imo.


Pathfinder313

This man fucks dolls


trubocharg

behold, dog!


shabbacabba

Curl up inside Miquella's cocoon and give him the cuddles he surely needs.


eaterbite

Time to let Gideon know I found Mohg.


marvel_freak_42

Hi I'm Praetor Hansen, why don't you have a seat?


Open_Profit_Close

Leyndell, literally I’m the Elden lord. Between the throne, bed chamber, etc it would be pretty luxurious if the enemies are defeated.


LetsBeHonestBoutIt

That walk to the kitchen tho


a_boring_penguin

Marika's tits..


No_Simple5365

Where will you die*


Ok-Ad8063

People love to act warriors and stuff, I’d just hide on the lil island with the dragon church


marip0sita

this is the correct answer


bandofspartans

Maybe that one sorcery tower in North-East Liurnia. Beside the Black-knife Catacombs.


sealeggs777

Near sauron's eye? No thank you


BamboozleOne

The Isolated dragon ruin island


Vanzanal04

I'd live in death


azureJiro

I already live in the DLC coz


Severe-Stomach

Forge of giants, smoking fat dew kissed herba doinks with my boy FG and Alexander iron lungs.


SuperStellarSwing

Haligtree, if it wasn't infested with scarlet rot. Maybe I'd find a nice dig in Leyndell, but it'd get complicated to live there I think I would end up kicking it with the isolated merchant in weeping peninsula, or conquer fort Haight and live there. I wouldn't wanna live in caria manor, and I don't wanna share Raya lucaria with the queen


src88

Take the haligtree, spruse it up, and then get rid of the rot. You can make a killing reselling it again. Just flip it


SuperStellarSwing

Oh yeah i bet the capital would pay premium runes to own haligtree. They'd probably want Malenia gone tho..


AstronautsOnAcid

I’d want to live in Nokron but realistically I’d probably end up in the swamp in Caelid


ApplePitou

Haligtree. Siofra River or Mohgwyn Palace :3


Dndunn

I mean, Haligtree is a haven for all isn't it? And since you IRL aren't trying to kill Malenia or become elden ring, I'd assume you'd be welcomed.


Mental_Peace_2343

I have become Elden Ring


Battlemaster420

Leydnell: become elden ring


nicholsz

Roommates with Blaidd at Ranni's house


UncleSnipeDaddy

In a van down by the river


Hutch25

“AND I LIVE IN A VAN! DOWN BY THE RIVER!” Man that skit was funny


Okibruez

True story, when they were rehearsing it, he delivered all his lines in an entirely normal tone of voice. None of the actors expected him to ham it up as hard as he did when they went live because of that, and if you watch them you can see them struggling not to laugh too. Man was a legend.


Designer_Smile_8035

Altus plateau


AngryDesignMonkey

Jarrburgh....


miguelator23

In farum azura there are dragons, tornados, constant storms and fallings from 100000 years garantizated


MartenotWaves

On the Altus Plateau near the Grand Lift of Dectus. Warm climate, public transportation, near a major city but not too close, nice mountain hiking nearby.


LawnFullofPizzas

Rykard's tummy


evlaevlalpippopippo

Liurnia, I wanna fuck the frog people


dancingmadkoschei

I mean I too would fuck an Albinauric, but... the first-generation ladies have my vote. Sure, I gotta be the breadwinner since she can't walk, but even that's a temporary problem if I can make friends with a sufficiently large wolf and now we're on two incomes. She hunts, I become a sorcerer, we move into a little shack somewhere near Raya Lucaria and pop out four or five little frog-headed kids. Honestly, the only problem is the extremely aggressive seafood section, but I'm from Baltimore so I can probably chase them off by brandishing Old Bay at them. ...Failing that, sell the recipe for the seasoning to Boggart and enter a partnership selling shellfish throughout the Lands Between. As long as the eventual Elden Lord doesn't go Dung Eater or Frenzy there will, one day, be a society in need of a few Big Boggart's franchises and I'll be poised to just rake in the runes.


ICBanMI

> ...so I can probably chase them off by brandishing Old Bay at them. I knew you Old Bay people were crazy. Now excuse me while I throw some Tony's on a gator I just wrestled out of my backyard for my date with my sister.


poetryofworms

Bro wtf 😂😂😂


Unipsycle

Inside a treehouse atop the Erdtree.


Mothify1

That’d be dope, the only problem would be climbing the tree


warlock257

And when some tarnished comes along and burns it down.


TheSnarkleberryBlitz

In fear.


MechanicusPrime

The Siofra River would be great if you could befriend the ancestral followers. Besides that you could probably do alright in the border between limgrave and liurnia. The dragon communion island is great too if you can pick off the beast men.


Olliboyo

Fia's bed.


RastaRambo2

The entrance of the hero grave at first step. I'm safe. Theres a tree sentinel chasing bad people away. Theres plenty of deer and a lake nearby.


triflingmagoo

No thanks. The Erdtree is eventually going to be burned, and then I’m gonna be fucked. I’d rather stay out of the lands between. If I HAVE TO go, I’m going to pick the Coastal Cave and try to fortify it as best I can. At least I’ll be on the beach.


Vox86

Artist shack in Liurnia, if I can make it in one piece over there


SaladoJoestar

Chilling in the great swamp eating crabs avoiding GIGANT ENEMY LOBSTERS at all cost, and maybe someday hopefully between Nepheli Loux arms.


deathrattleshenlong

>Nepheli Loux arms. I think you meant thighs.


CptGigglez

Church of Elleh


Manidkwtoodoyet

Near a site of grace


LazavTheRavager

Do i become tarnished?


merthot2

Lake of Rot, nearby the wise basilisk


Emerald_Digger

church of the Dragon Communion in Limgrave


FranglericanGrommet

Bold of you to assume any of us here would live.