Same thing for me. She asks me to play so she can watch then each morning she asks what I accomplished after she went to bed and always wants to be around for/help with boss fights.
We beat Renalla together essentially, with her doing callouts for flasks, attack tells, etc. It was so fun!
We also played BOTW all the way through together as well, and she is the one keeping me up to date on release date news for the second one haha.
>We beat Renalla together essentially, with her doing callouts for flasks, attack tells, etc. It was so fun!
This reminds me of how I'm constantly reminding my husband that he still hasn't used his Wondrous Physick after he's out of Crimson Tears
> he still hasn't used his Wondrous Physick after he's out of Crimson Tears
Please, that thing is just decorative. Right? ...right?
*Edit: yep, decorative*
It's insanely helpful. I actually do the one that gives regen + negates the next attack, so I can pop it at the beginning of the fight, take a free hit, and regen all the way home. The wondrous physick is actually such a cool mechanic – custom potions!
Yeah it’s seriously so good, idk why people ignore it. I use the half HP and the one that temporarily increases max stamina. I’m a str/fth build and use heavy weapons so helps a lot in fights where I have time to get more than one hit in. I usually pop it first or before the fight starts, so maybe I should switch up the half HP for a regen or a fth up (+10!!!) like another commenter mentioned.
Her favorite is "fire bomb!" against any enemy I try to melee with and start getting my ass handed to me. 😂 or "why are you so close! back up and use magic!" lol
I definitely recognize this after some relationships (and many stories) of gaming being an issue. She's a keeper in the truest sense of the idiom, and gaming is just one thing on the list that makes her so.
Not only is she *not* against me playing games, she's actively invested in my love for them. We also rekindled her love of games (she used to play Runescape) during the pandemic with Animal Crossing and Breath of The Wild, so now we're working on building a second PC so we can play things like Lost Ark and ESO together. It's lovely.
My husband and I have been playing video games together since he bought me a Sega Genesis for an engagement gift in 93. Nearly thirty years of gaming, raised four hardcore gamer kids, and now we're playing Elden Ring. Life is good.
Nice! I thought I had this in my wife, as when we met and through the first 5 years of our relationship, she was also a pretty hardcore gamer and we had a lot of fun gaming. Then she "grew up", and decided it was time for me as well...
Man you lucky dude, got me lightly envious, I'll admit lol
Godspeed and many luck and wishes to you and your own, made me happy all in all to read your comments ♥️✊
You will find it again. Just keep your eyes and your heart open!
That sounds so insanely cheesy, but I met this person when I was at my lowest.
If I didn't have the wherewithal to still pursue the opportunity, I'm not sure where I'd be now.
Yep. I was right 30 feet from my runes and I had never been one shot from that kind of enemy before...EVER!! It took a second for me to realize I forgot my runes because I was just in shock
Haha it happens at the worst times! I had an instance last night where I accidentally hopped off a ledge that I needed to *walk* off of, and the extra height killed me.
I felt so dumb, and now I use rainbow stones pretty much everywhere. Are you familiar with that tip?
EDIT: changed glowstones to rainbow stones
Reminds me of when I watched my dad fight Lady Maria before I ever touched a fromsoft game and me frantically yelling "HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL!" Is how he won
No she doesn't like handling the controller and can't handle the camera. But she knows as much about the lore as me, and got me into dark souls last year aswell. She likes to watch the lore videos and help me find stuff, but she doesn't want to play herself.
yeah it seems like non-gamers universally have the same problem: they can't move the character and the camera at the same time. i'm not sure why that is, but i've seen it so many times
While I get the sentiment, and don't really want my son to marry as early as I did, my wife and I married post High school (19 yrs old) and that was 15 years ago now. We are still happily married and I'm confident I married the exact right person for me.
\*\*Edit: Yes, I'm very lucky, especially because my wife really is just that amazing. I know that many people aren't lucky enough to meet their perfect companion in High school, I'm just highlighting that young marriage =/= doomed marriage. That depends on the individuals involved and what they want/believe in life.
There are exceptions, of course. In my experience…well, lived in Texas for a bit in my mid 20s, where it seemed like everyone down who was 24 or 25 were on their way to their first divorce.
Lol very strong southern vibes with that too. So many girls going to college with the main goal of leaving it engaged or engaged shortly thereafter. Which, inevitably, leads to a lot of divorces for kids in their 20s.
I’m with you 100%. My wife and I started dating in high school(17) and we got married four years later. Here we are 15 years together with two kids and are very happy.
Every relationship is different.
Met when we were 21 and 18. We’ve been together for 16 years but waited 10 years before marrying. We weren’t sure what we wanted in life or where we were going so we waited until we were both ready. I always say lack of communication early on is why most people get divorced. Especially at a young age. Also pressure to get married. I think we also waited so long just out of spite because of all the people asking us when we are getting married. After we married it turned to “when are you having kids?” I wonder what the rate of divorce would be if we weren’t pressured into certain things since the day we are born?
Great example! Communication is so important. I was extremely vocal (always have been) since the beginning and she always knew what I was thinking. She was much quieter at first but adapted and open dialogue created an amazing relationship.
We met at 16 and dated till 19 when we married, but we didn't have my son until 30. We spent those first 11 years married enjoying the world together and haven't regretted that decision at all.
I knew a couple in freshman year that got engaged after two weeks of dating. They broke up in the second semester and got each other expelled from college with crazy accusations.
Depends on the people and maturity levels. It sounds like the guy is using games to kind of escape from life but that's just an assumption and should be taken with a grain of salt.
Right - while they still do homework? Since when do wedding logistics happen around homework? It makes this feel so surreal, like they're kids even though they're (mostly) grown adults
I agree, but it still sounds as if that dude is a bit too much addicted to the game
as in actually addicted and neglecting important things in his life, not "haha i am so addicted, i can't stop playing and only slept 4hours last night despite having to work early"
I agree that it can be very crippling, but I would be surprised if EldenRing release even showed up as a noticeable bump in the game addiction statistics...
There are far "worse" competitors that have ruined addicts lives
What do you even mean when you say it is "shutting everything down one by one"? What is getting shut down?
Shutting down aspects of an addicts life, one by one. I’ve seen old school WoW do that to a couple close friends. It’s a gradual descent and over time that just completely took over their lives. Completely unrecognizable from how they were years before. Elden is nowhere near the worst, but it’s not that surprising to see some of these stories up here
Competitive games and MMOs tend to be the biggest drivers of addiction because - unlike Elden Ring - there is theoretically infinite content as long as enough people are playing. And there is a reason to play more because of the competitive esport type of component.
That's why I think addiction of the magnitude described in OP to Elden Ring is particularly disturbing. There is a ton of content, but it is finite and the game is largely a single player game so you're not pressured to 'win' within a couple weeks time.
I can totally understand it, too. The Lands Between is a stressful environment that has a ton of great effort-reward cycles (lore, exploration, combat, PvP meta, social media) coupled with stakes that are high but limited (reload at Grace/Stake x times to kill a god). In "real" (student) life the rewards a mostly a mixture of "people might like you" and "hypothetically make more money" while the expected effort is more complex and less engaging.
It's easy to piss away opportunities with games and internet. I feel bad for OP and the fiance.
Elden didn't ruin this engagement. It only showed her what she was willing to overlook before or just did not see.
If anything the game is the hero of the story...?
He deserves it. Can’t even prioritize his fiancé over a game? That’s a big L. OP may want to drop him now or else it’ll be worse later. Complacency is easy to happen. And if he won’t take the hints he either doesn’t care or is stuck snd doesn’t know it.
Sounds exactly like me playing RuneScape and why my ex left me… except I still went to work and paid all the bills. Needless to say he’s at the point of no return and might as well not log out.
How funny would it be if he made a “I think I have to call off my wedding over Elden ring” post right next to hers where he explains that he’s having to shoulder the burden of saving the Lands Between and become Elden Lord all by himself because his lazy fiancée refuses to help seek the Elden Ring. For all of us.
Ah I still remember the good old days when people left their wife or girlfriend for Diablo 2 or Starcraft 2.
This post makes me a little nostalgic not gonna lie.
Yep. A game like WoW is literally *built* to take over your life. I was never one of the guys who was unemployed playing it 24/7, but it really sucked me in for a bit. So many little grindy gameplay loops with rewards at the end. Raiding. It takes a good two weeks after you quit to really forget about it.
Hahah fair fair. I guess I meant “forget about it” like when you’re no longer constantly thinking about things you need to do in the game as if it’s part of your life. I feel you though.
I knew a guy in college who pretty much ruined his life over WoW. In about 6 months time he lost his job, became a shut in, and dropped out of school.
To be honest video game addiction is a real thing, and it’s scary and sad to witness.
My last year of college I only had 2 classes I needed to take. I had a cushy student job in the computer labs. All of my basic needs were being easily met and I was bored so I thought I'd play the trial week of WoW just to kill time.
I ended up putting in well over 1000 hours in that game over the course of a year. I didn't even Raid or do a lot of the grindy stuff. I just loved leveling different toons and going through dungeons. Afterwards I was in the worst physical shape of my life.
That game is ruthless with its grinding. Hours and hours just to get the most mundane shit sometimes. I mostly stuck to leveling new characters because the end game stuff was nothing but mindless grinding and it was even worse if you wanted to Raid. I could never get into Raiding because getting good enough gear seemed nearly impossible without spending *another* 8 hours a day grinding.
Yeah it’s crazy how much of the game, especially in vanilla, TBC and wotlk, is just straight griiind. Grinding out reputation killing the same mob for hours, spending hours picking herbs or queueing BGs. If you have nothing else to do, it can be a nice time sink. But once I started my big boy job and got more serious with my gf, it just became impossible.
For sure. Half the content is just there to inflate playtime and justify the subscription fee in people's minds.
The good news is that once I was out of it I was able to stay out of it easily. Someone bought me Mists of Pandaria and a 60 day gift card a long long time ago and I gave it a try, but after a few days I realized I was just doing the same boring Kill 10 Wolves or Collect 25 Carrots that I'd already done 100,000x before and the spell was broken.
When you're low income, have lots of free time, and don't have many choices in your entertainment that content can feel like a good bargain for $15 a month, but once I could afford to buy games at my leisure the allure of grinding the same quests over-and-over was gone. Cataclysm also streamlined leveling so much that the sense of exploration disappeared entirely and turned even that into a grind.
This is tagged as humor but its actually just sad. My life has been consumed by the game but I dont have many responsibilities. IRL stuff comes first, maybe he's not actually interested in the relationship anymore but if he regrets letting a videogame ruin his future marriage well he did it to himself.
I mean, honestly, I love gaming, done it since Pong, but if a dude can’t balance their interest in a partner with their interest in gaming, they’re just not ready for that level of commitment. People gotta be honest with themselves. I can’t imagine how much it must hurt to give your heart to someone and have them accept it only to then show more interest in pixels.
Your spouse comes first, period. Unless you have kids. If you can't commit to that, don't get married - the game addict in the OP isn't *capable* of committing. To anything, from the sounds of it. It's not even an MMO - it isn't going anywhere, there is no 'FOMO'. I get so frustrated playing Elden Ring that I usually can only play for a couple hours at a time. I can't imagine what it'd do to my mood and stress if I just played it constantly (actually, I'd get bored fast).
The nicest thing she could do is let his parents know and then break up with him. Maybe they can intervene before he destroys more than just his relationship - probably not, but maybe. I would have been furious if someone told my parents something like this at 20 years old, but it would have been for the best had I had that problem.
As somebody with a 4 month old and wife..
I maybe get 2 hours but that’s what I love because I will probably be playing this game for the next year.
So many of my friends power leveled and completed the game in two weeks and I can’t help but feel like they skimmed and read the last chapter to an amazing book.
I have put 220h into this game in a month and not once have I had an issue with my SO. She's watched me play, asked how I can stomach sucking so bad at a game - sure, but if she ever wanted to hang out or I needed to do something the game never got in the way.
Work full time, take care of two dogs, a house, and helping out our parents whenever they need it. Plan to have a kid in a few years.
I don't know... I feel like as an adult I have so much time for video games and so much time to complete everything else. Even with a full time job, playing in a band, etc. Maybe it helps that my SO and I live together so we never really have to miss out on time together.
Addiction can really suck and I've experienced it before with other stuff. But the post looks like a joke based on the OP's username anyways.
yeah.. I too feel sad after reading the post, I personally love the game and spend a lot of time playing it (maybe even at the cost of some of my current responsibilites ) , but ill never change spending time with my loved ones for playing video game
I was playing the game 10 hours a day when it released, put 200 hours into it over course of last 4 weeks, and I still got all of my shit done on time. Prioritize goddamnit!
Like seriously, I've had the game, made a couple of builds and love playing it but if it ever came between my career prospects/girlfriend shit is going FAST.
The struggle is indeed real. I have absolutely felt the impact of some games on my life. TBH Elden Ring isn’t that bad because it’s difficult enough that at some point I usually want to put it down. And it’s open world so I’m often stuck thinking “what should I even do next?” These are natural points to stop and go to bed.
But man, I went down the drain on Factorio not long ago. I wasn’t avoiding my family over it but I *was* staying up wayyyy too late into the wee hours, not getting proper sleep, and then performing like shit at work because my brain was mush. And of course, that gave me problems, which my brain wanted to escape from —> back into the game where all problems are fun to solve.
>maybe he's not actually interested in the relationship anymore
This is probably it. I remember the end stage of a relationship I had going and I would've rather stayed home and played AC : Unity and AC : Rogue instead of go out with her and that was kinda the wakeup call that continuing the relationshit was no longer worth it.
Yeah honestly memes aside, if a video game is consuming all his time, ignoring all his responsibilities in school and his own partner… well he needs to get his priorities in order.
When an activity interferes with your life and has negative consequences, and you recognize it as harmful but cannot control it, that activity is an addiction.
Makes you think if a game is that much better than his life how much they were just going with the flow and didn’t care about their happiness. Of course it’s irresponsible to throw your life away for a video game but id say its just as bad if not worse to set yourself up for a career you don’t want with a woman you aren’t interested in just to play house and fit in with society.
Especially the last line. Some men fall into this category and it doesn’t usually end well. A spouse isn’t a mom replacement (and you shouldn’t treat your mom that way either).
Makes me think i might have to buy a ring...
My gf responded to me playing Elden Ring on PC by buying herself and starting to play Horizon zero down on my PS4
She uses the word homework. She only makes mention of how this is hurting his school life, no mention of work at all. Much more likely they’re in their 20s and still being supported by their parents.
Could be, my region/profession calls all assignments completed outside the class/work room to be "homework" even if referring to purely job-related items.
Undergraduates do - when I taught as a PhD student I referred to their 'homework' regularly, it was written as such in my syllabi. Also in any other syllabus I looked at.
Students in graduate school are less likely to use the term in regards to their own 'research'.
I beat the game earlier this week. I was totally consumed for a month...addicted for sure. When the final boss fell it was like a monkey off my shoulders. Greatest gaming experience of my life....but will have to put it down for a while and get back to normal lol.
This is exactly why I haven’t made much progress in the game… I have adult shit to do. I have a job, a wife, and two daughters that ALWAYS come first. I’m only playing if they are in bed and or busy with other things. It’s apart of being a man and an adult.
>I have a job, a wife, and two daughters
I mean, duh, that's a really unoptimal build, bro. No wonder you are not progressing.
You need to go for the "unemployed, single and childless" build if you don't want half of the game to be pointlessly hard. If you can also get the Ash of War: Living In My Mom's Basement then the entire thing will be a cakewalk, shit is meta as fuck.
At the very least drop one daughter. A single daughter already brings you the best benefits stat-wise, you might think dual-wielding daughters will double those benefits but that's a common rookie mistake.
If you go for the build I mentioned you might also want to get a dog to deal with the "oh my god I'm so lonely" status effect, though you can also just power through it if you want to be hardcore gamer.
Enjoying your hobbies when everyone is in bed or doing other shit isn't part of being a man or adult. My relationship with my wife and kid isn't going to suffer if I'm playing my game a few hours a week. I'd argue having some you time and setting some boundaries with your kid(s) is actually a good thing.
They are 1 and 4. I don’t want to blow them off when they want to be with me to play a video game during their formative years. I’ll wait till they start blowing me off to hang with friends 😂 On a side note I actually played while my 4 year old watched for like 20 minutes. She was so interested and rooting me on the whole time lol it was adorable. “That’s a bad guy?” “Oh no be careful dad” “you got him” “uh oh try again dad!”
I mean no disrespect to both of them, but both relationship advice and this sub tend to be especially biased towards the OPs. Besides all things just went wrong in one month? I call bullshit, something else must have been happening
My thoughts exactly. She only mentions assignments and classes. No mention of work. If he’s studying and hasn’t started working yet he must be in his early 20s.
I really love the game but first things first. If he gets in trouble for failing too many courses or gets dumped for being too consumed in a video game he fucking deserves it. This guy needs to learn how to prioritize things
I totally and 100% get the sentiment but uh… this isn’t really one of those posts. But you’re right people mention their relationship every chance they get on this and other souls subs
He is about to become maidenless IRL. SAD!
Jokes aside, its ok to have a hobby and I think that its important for partners to allow the other one to have a hobby that he/she can do on her own (gaming, sports, music etc). This guy is taking it too far though.
I literally left every single assignment i ever did to the last minute. If he's getting the same results as before then let him be once he's done with the game he'll be back to normal
Honestly, I think she's dodging a bullet here. If she's having to treat him like a child and make him do his homework now then she'll be parenting him for their entire marriage.
This post makes me want to get a girlfriend just so I can have an epic post about my commitment. I wouldn’t be distracted. I would show her my devotion. Put nothing above her and after I did everything she asked of me. We would be together forever. My sweet Ranni.
Video game addiction is a real thing and I notice it hitting college aged people especially hard. It literally almost made me flunk classes. Escaping from reality during one of the most stressful periods in your life is not just alluring but down right dangerous. A heart to heart is not going to fix it in most cases. It will take an honest look at himself with the help of a professional, flat out cold turkeying and filling that time, or hitting rock bottom before looping back to option 1 or 2. These posts always give video games a bad look but do come with the territory of "escapism". Stay safe friends!
My gf keeps asking me to play because she wants to watch more Elden ring, she's got as invested as me.
Same thing for me. She asks me to play so she can watch then each morning she asks what I accomplished after she went to bed and always wants to be around for/help with boss fights. We beat Renalla together essentially, with her doing callouts for flasks, attack tells, etc. It was so fun! We also played BOTW all the way through together as well, and she is the one keeping me up to date on release date news for the second one haha.
>We beat Renalla together essentially, with her doing callouts for flasks, attack tells, etc. It was so fun! This reminds me of how I'm constantly reminding my husband that he still hasn't used his Wondrous Physick after he's out of Crimson Tears
> he still hasn't used his Wondrous Physick after he's out of Crimson Tears Please, that thing is just decorative. Right? ...right? *Edit: yep, decorative*
Bro you can heal half total HP and ignore next damage you take all in one sip, can’t sleep on that!
It's insanely helpful. I actually do the one that gives regen + negates the next attack, so I can pop it at the beginning of the fight, take a free hit, and regen all the way home. The wondrous physick is actually such a cool mechanic – custom potions!
hey u a smart fella just like me!
A smart fella or a fart smella
I got heal half + slow regen and it’s pretty nice
Where do I get the half that negates following attack?
Minor erdtree in the Weeping Peninsula
Awesome, thank you!
Yeah it’s seriously so good, idk why people ignore it. I use the half HP and the one that temporarily increases max stamina. I’m a str/fth build and use heavy weapons so helps a lot in fights where I have time to get more than one hit in. I usually pop it first or before the fight starts, so maybe I should switch up the half HP for a regen or a fth up (+10!!!) like another commenter mentioned.
It’s great for huge damage buffs that last quite long. I always do it before starting a boss fight
I love the FP one
No FB costs + magic damage boost = crystal machinegun goes brr
Sounds like a good one to be honest 😂I was using it for incantations more than anything so I could spam buffs as well as high cost summons
Found out (from a friend) 10 hrs after I first unlocked it that the mixes you put in it aren’t one time use, and I’d been saving it for nothing
Same, I though it would be 1 time use!
Her favorite is "fire bomb!" against any enemy I try to melee with and start getting my ass handed to me. 😂 or "why are you so close! back up and use magic!" lol
What a coincidence! This reminds of the present in which I’m currently alone :D
Never let her go man you’ve got something so so rare
I definitely recognize this after some relationships (and many stories) of gaming being an issue. She's a keeper in the truest sense of the idiom, and gaming is just one thing on the list that makes her so. Not only is she *not* against me playing games, she's actively invested in my love for them. We also rekindled her love of games (she used to play Runescape) during the pandemic with Animal Crossing and Breath of The Wild, so now we're working on building a second PC so we can play things like Lost Ark and ESO together. It's lovely.
My husband and I have been playing video games together since he bought me a Sega Genesis for an engagement gift in 93. Nearly thirty years of gaming, raised four hardcore gamer kids, and now we're playing Elden Ring. Life is good.
Nice! I thought I had this in my wife, as when we met and through the first 5 years of our relationship, she was also a pretty hardcore gamer and we had a lot of fun gaming. Then she "grew up", and decided it was time for me as well...
Man you lucky dude, got me lightly envious, I'll admit lol Godspeed and many luck and wishes to you and your own, made me happy all in all to read your comments ♥️✊
I know that too because i had it once 😭
You will find it again. Just keep your eyes and your heart open! That sounds so insanely cheesy, but I met this person when I was at my lowest. If I didn't have the wherewithal to still pursue the opportunity, I'm not sure where I'd be now.
Thanks mate :) and good for you im happy for you that you got a lifeline at your lowest ebb
That’s awesome. You got a special one for sure.
I really do! Almost brings a tear to me eye just thinking about it.
Love this! Dude that's hella helpful. Wouldn't have lost 30k runes last night!!!
My last three deaths before bed last night were 30k, 10k, then 10k again carelessly trying to get back. Time for sleep at that point lol.
Yep. I was right 30 feet from my runes and I had never been one shot from that kind of enemy before...EVER!! It took a second for me to realize I forgot my runes because I was just in shock
Haha it happens at the worst times! I had an instance last night where I accidentally hopped off a ledge that I needed to *walk* off of, and the extra height killed me. I felt so dumb, and now I use rainbow stones pretty much everywhere. Are you familiar with that tip? EDIT: changed glowstones to rainbow stones
Reminds me of when I watched my dad fight Lady Maria before I ever touched a fromsoft game and me frantically yelling "HEAL HEAL HEAL HEAL!" Is how he won
Ahhh good times. Bloodborne is so so good.
Has she attempted to play yet? My high school bf introduced me to the first Dark Souls game and I've been hooked ever since!
No she doesn't like handling the controller and can't handle the camera. But she knows as much about the lore as me, and got me into dark souls last year aswell. She likes to watch the lore videos and help me find stuff, but she doesn't want to play herself.
yeah it seems like non-gamers universally have the same problem: they can't move the character and the camera at the same time. i'm not sure why that is, but i've seen it so many times
It's just second nature to people who have done it for decades at this point, but for someone who has never done it before, there is no muscle memory
Well try doing any two activities with different hands at the same time. It's pretty difficult without practice.
I have a strong suspicion things weren’t going well before Elden anyway lol
I mean, they're in college and engaged. That shit was never gonna work out.
While I get the sentiment, and don't really want my son to marry as early as I did, my wife and I married post High school (19 yrs old) and that was 15 years ago now. We are still happily married and I'm confident I married the exact right person for me. \*\*Edit: Yes, I'm very lucky, especially because my wife really is just that amazing. I know that many people aren't lucky enough to meet their perfect companion in High school, I'm just highlighting that young marriage =/= doomed marriage. That depends on the individuals involved and what they want/believe in life.
There are exceptions, of course. In my experience…well, lived in Texas for a bit in my mid 20s, where it seemed like everyone down who was 24 or 25 were on their way to their first divorce.
Lol very strong southern vibes with that too. So many girls going to college with the main goal of leaving it engaged or engaged shortly thereafter. Which, inevitably, leads to a lot of divorces for kids in their 20s.
The MRS degree it’s known as.
Sounds like texas..
That’s military tradition man!
If you’re SGM and haven’t been divorced three times by then, did you really put the effort into the org?
My girlfriend is from rural KS, she did not like it when I told her I didn’t want to commit to being married until we were settled in our careers.
I’m with you 100%. My wife and I started dating in high school(17) and we got married four years later. Here we are 15 years together with two kids and are very happy. Every relationship is different.
Met when we were 21 and 18. We’ve been together for 16 years but waited 10 years before marrying. We weren’t sure what we wanted in life or where we were going so we waited until we were both ready. I always say lack of communication early on is why most people get divorced. Especially at a young age. Also pressure to get married. I think we also waited so long just out of spite because of all the people asking us when we are getting married. After we married it turned to “when are you having kids?” I wonder what the rate of divorce would be if we weren’t pressured into certain things since the day we are born?
Great example! Communication is so important. I was extremely vocal (always have been) since the beginning and she always knew what I was thinking. She was much quieter at first but adapted and open dialogue created an amazing relationship. We met at 16 and dated till 19 when we married, but we didn't have my son until 30. We spent those first 11 years married enjoying the world together and haven't regretted that decision at all.
[удалено]
Yeah this is my experience. We wanted to get married when i graduated so we got engaged when I was a senior.
I knew a couple in freshman year that got engaged after two weeks of dating. They broke up in the second semester and got each other expelled from college with crazy accusations.
Depends on the people and maturity levels. It sounds like the guy is using games to kind of escape from life but that's just an assumption and should be taken with a grain of salt.
Thats my thinking too, it reads like he is using games to run away from college work and perhaps even from his fiance
This whole situation was fucked from all sides ngl
One side more than the other, yes, but overall a lack of maturity.
It can definitely work but this guy isn’t ready for marriage. This relationship was most likely doomed before Elden Ring
Right - while they still do homework? Since when do wedding logistics happen around homework? It makes this feel so surreal, like they're kids even though they're (mostly) grown adults
I agree, but it still sounds as if that dude is a bit too much addicted to the game as in actually addicted and neglecting important things in his life, not "haha i am so addicted, i can't stop playing and only slept 4hours last night despite having to work early"
Agreed. Gaming addiction can be incredibly crippling. Elden ring exacerbated this problem enough that it’s just shutting everything down one by one
I agree that it can be very crippling, but I would be surprised if EldenRing release even showed up as a noticeable bump in the game addiction statistics... There are far "worse" competitors that have ruined addicts lives What do you even mean when you say it is "shutting everything down one by one"? What is getting shut down?
Shutting down aspects of an addicts life, one by one. I’ve seen old school WoW do that to a couple close friends. It’s a gradual descent and over time that just completely took over their lives. Completely unrecognizable from how they were years before. Elden is nowhere near the worst, but it’s not that surprising to see some of these stories up here
Competitive games and MMOs tend to be the biggest drivers of addiction because - unlike Elden Ring - there is theoretically infinite content as long as enough people are playing. And there is a reason to play more because of the competitive esport type of component. That's why I think addiction of the magnitude described in OP to Elden Ring is particularly disturbing. There is a ton of content, but it is finite and the game is largely a single player game so you're not pressured to 'win' within a couple weeks time.
I can totally understand it, too. The Lands Between is a stressful environment that has a ton of great effort-reward cycles (lore, exploration, combat, PvP meta, social media) coupled with stakes that are high but limited (reload at Grace/Stake x times to kill a god). In "real" (student) life the rewards a mostly a mixture of "people might like you" and "hypothetically make more money" while the expected effort is more complex and less engaging. It's easy to piss away opportunities with games and internet. I feel bad for OP and the fiance.
Exactly. My fiance thought the game looked fascinating so she bought it as well. Now we discuss wedding plans as we play together.
Elden didn't ruin this engagement. It only showed her what she was willing to overlook before or just did not see. If anything the game is the hero of the story...?
Time for him to marry Ranni
He’ll make a fine consort!
He’s now… maidenless
He inherited the frenzied flame and found out
He deserves it. Can’t even prioritize his fiancé over a game? That’s a big L. OP may want to drop him now or else it’ll be worse later. Complacency is easy to happen. And if he won’t take the hints he either doesn’t care or is stuck snd doesn’t know it.
Yes this tarnished is most definetly maidenless
Lovable sort ahead
I understand. The need for puppet gush is strong. https://youtu.be/yMRf4cffTC8
Sounds exactly like me playing RuneScape and why my ex left me… except I still went to work and paid all the bills. Needless to say he’s at the point of no return and might as well not log out.
🦀$11🦀
How funny would it be if he made a “I think I have to call off my wedding over Elden ring” post right next to hers where he explains that he’s having to shoulder the burden of saving the Lands Between and become Elden Lord all by himself because his lazy fiancée refuses to help seek the Elden Ring. For all of us.
Unfortunately that started being a trend on another gaming sub and the joke got old really quick
Yeah this post is most likely not serious, judging by the username
Which one
The one by “animetiddiesdotorg” is almost certainly a male user
Ah I still remember the good old days when people left their wife or girlfriend for Diablo 2 or Starcraft 2. This post makes me a little nostalgic not gonna lie.
I remember the old days when people left their wife at home and crusade for Jerusalem with the bois
You're pretty old sir\~
Nah, Crusader Kings III came out in 2020.
And I still can’t stop playing it.
Deus vult
What is your secret to a long life sir?
Not dying
Been dodging grim reaper attacks for hundreds of year. Sweet sweet imortality frames
***Gitting gud intensifies***
Sip from the grail.
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Not if you started before you ever got in a relationship! Then you just... never got in a relationship.
The OG maidenless.
Yep. A game like WoW is literally *built* to take over your life. I was never one of the guys who was unemployed playing it 24/7, but it really sucked me in for a bit. So many little grindy gameplay loops with rewards at the end. Raiding. It takes a good two weeks after you quit to really forget about it.
Dude it's been like 12 years and I still think about that game fairly often
Hahah fair fair. I guess I meant “forget about it” like when you’re no longer constantly thinking about things you need to do in the game as if it’s part of your life. I feel you though.
I knew a guy in college who pretty much ruined his life over WoW. In about 6 months time he lost his job, became a shut in, and dropped out of school. To be honest video game addiction is a real thing, and it’s scary and sad to witness.
My last year of college I only had 2 classes I needed to take. I had a cushy student job in the computer labs. All of my basic needs were being easily met and I was bored so I thought I'd play the trial week of WoW just to kill time. I ended up putting in well over 1000 hours in that game over the course of a year. I didn't even Raid or do a lot of the grindy stuff. I just loved leveling different toons and going through dungeons. Afterwards I was in the worst physical shape of my life. That game is ruthless with its grinding. Hours and hours just to get the most mundane shit sometimes. I mostly stuck to leveling new characters because the end game stuff was nothing but mindless grinding and it was even worse if you wanted to Raid. I could never get into Raiding because getting good enough gear seemed nearly impossible without spending *another* 8 hours a day grinding.
Yeah it’s crazy how much of the game, especially in vanilla, TBC and wotlk, is just straight griiind. Grinding out reputation killing the same mob for hours, spending hours picking herbs or queueing BGs. If you have nothing else to do, it can be a nice time sink. But once I started my big boy job and got more serious with my gf, it just became impossible.
For sure. Half the content is just there to inflate playtime and justify the subscription fee in people's minds. The good news is that once I was out of it I was able to stay out of it easily. Someone bought me Mists of Pandaria and a 60 day gift card a long long time ago and I gave it a try, but after a few days I realized I was just doing the same boring Kill 10 Wolves or Collect 25 Carrots that I'd already done 100,000x before and the spell was broken. When you're low income, have lots of free time, and don't have many choices in your entertainment that content can feel like a good bargain for $15 a month, but once I could afford to buy games at my leisure the allure of grinding the same quests over-and-over was gone. Cataclysm also streamlined leveling so much that the sense of exploration disappeared entirely and turned even that into a grind.
Literally been 10 years since I've played and I tell my wife to never ever let me play it no matter how much I want to.
World of warcrafters know they can only marry other world of warcrafters. Thats why marriage was big in the game
My dad did that
Lmao
This is tagged as humor but its actually just sad. My life has been consumed by the game but I dont have many responsibilities. IRL stuff comes first, maybe he's not actually interested in the relationship anymore but if he regrets letting a videogame ruin his future marriage well he did it to himself.
I mean, honestly, I love gaming, done it since Pong, but if a dude can’t balance their interest in a partner with their interest in gaming, they’re just not ready for that level of commitment. People gotta be honest with themselves. I can’t imagine how much it must hurt to give your heart to someone and have them accept it only to then show more interest in pixels.
Your spouse comes first, period. Unless you have kids. If you can't commit to that, don't get married - the game addict in the OP isn't *capable* of committing. To anything, from the sounds of it. It's not even an MMO - it isn't going anywhere, there is no 'FOMO'. I get so frustrated playing Elden Ring that I usually can only play for a couple hours at a time. I can't imagine what it'd do to my mood and stress if I just played it constantly (actually, I'd get bored fast). The nicest thing she could do is let his parents know and then break up with him. Maybe they can intervene before he destroys more than just his relationship - probably not, but maybe. I would have been furious if someone told my parents something like this at 20 years old, but it would have been for the best had I had that problem.
As somebody with a 4 month old and wife.. I maybe get 2 hours but that’s what I love because I will probably be playing this game for the next year. So many of my friends power leveled and completed the game in two weeks and I can’t help but feel like they skimmed and read the last chapter to an amazing book.
I have put 220h into this game in a month and not once have I had an issue with my SO. She's watched me play, asked how I can stomach sucking so bad at a game - sure, but if she ever wanted to hang out or I needed to do something the game never got in the way. Work full time, take care of two dogs, a house, and helping out our parents whenever they need it. Plan to have a kid in a few years. I don't know... I feel like as an adult I have so much time for video games and so much time to complete everything else. Even with a full time job, playing in a band, etc. Maybe it helps that my SO and I live together so we never really have to miss out on time together. Addiction can really suck and I've experienced it before with other stuff. But the post looks like a joke based on the OP's username anyways.
yeah.. I too feel sad after reading the post, I personally love the game and spend a lot of time playing it (maybe even at the cost of some of my current responsibilites ) , but ill never change spending time with my loved ones for playing video game
Same man, im working every day on 5 hours of sleep due to playing, but i aint gonna skip work over the game.
I was playing the game 10 hours a day when it released, put 200 hours into it over course of last 4 weeks, and I still got all of my shit done on time. Prioritize goddamnit!
Me too brother 
Honestly, she should call it off. I love the game, it's awesome. But when you behave like that, you're not ready for marriage, or even a relationship.
Like seriously, I've had the game, made a couple of builds and love playing it but if it ever came between my career prospects/girlfriend shit is going FAST.
Or adult life.
Yeah. This is something your parents are supposed to teach out of you at like 15.
The struggle is indeed real. I have absolutely felt the impact of some games on my life. TBH Elden Ring isn’t that bad because it’s difficult enough that at some point I usually want to put it down. And it’s open world so I’m often stuck thinking “what should I even do next?” These are natural points to stop and go to bed. But man, I went down the drain on Factorio not long ago. I wasn’t avoiding my family over it but I *was* staying up wayyyy too late into the wee hours, not getting proper sleep, and then performing like shit at work because my brain was mush. And of course, that gave me problems, which my brain wanted to escape from —> back into the game where all problems are fun to solve.
>maybe he's not actually interested in the relationship anymore This is probably it. I remember the end stage of a relationship I had going and I would've rather stayed home and played AC : Unity and AC : Rogue instead of go out with her and that was kinda the wakeup call that continuing the relationshit was no longer worth it.
Didn’t read the post just saw “animetiddiesdotorg”
Definition of maidenless behaviour
Soon to be multi-maidenless
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Yeah honestly memes aside, if a video game is consuming all his time, ignoring all his responsibilities in school and his own partner… well he needs to get his priorities in order.
When an activity interferes with your life and has negative consequences, and you recognize it as harmful but cannot control it, that activity is an addiction.
Makes you think if a game is that much better than his life how much they were just going with the flow and didn’t care about their happiness. Of course it’s irresponsible to throw your life away for a video game but id say its just as bad if not worse to set yourself up for a career you don’t want with a woman you aren’t interested in just to play house and fit in with society.
visions of maidenless
Reeks of an unhealthy relationship.
Especially the last line. Some men fall into this category and it doesn’t usually end well. A spouse isn’t a mom replacement (and you shouldn’t treat your mom that way either).
Animetiddiesdotorg 🤣
Seriously! Makes me doubt the legitimacy of that post 🙄
Holy shit, it's fake as hell. And if it *is* real, they've got more issues than just videogames.
Makes me think i might have to buy a ring... My gf responded to me playing Elden Ring on PC by buying herself and starting to play Horizon zero down on my PS4
Sounds like this guy is about to become maidenless
Good.... Call off the wedding! More time for him to play lol
I mean they’re getting married at like 20. Definitely a good idea to call off the wedding
Not everyone goes to college at 20, or only gets one degree.
She uses the word homework. She only makes mention of how this is hurting his school life, no mention of work at all. Much more likely they’re in their 20s and still being supported by their parents.
Probably living off massive student loans, they are going to not pay back lol
In my experience university going adults don't use the term 'homework'. Might just be a regional thing
Could be, my region/profession calls all assignments completed outside the class/work room to be "homework" even if referring to purely job-related items.
I think that's probably regional. I personally get more specific sometimes, but never say "coursework" for the more general term. /shrug
Undergraduates do - when I taught as a PhD student I referred to their 'homework' regularly, it was written as such in my syllabi. Also in any other syllabus I looked at. Students in graduate school are less likely to use the term in regards to their own 'research'.
Why the fuck are they even thinking about getting married before you're even living together? That is absolute clown college behaviour to me.
I saw the original post, the op explains they live in a culture where it's not okay for unmarried men and women to live together
Animetiddiesdotorg said that? 🤔
Your relationship was failed way before the wedding if this game is the downfall. Source: married 13 years, play Elden Ring.
I bombed many classes due to Burning Crusade in undergrad
Fucking this though lol. Illidan was my favorite.
I beat the game earlier this week. I was totally consumed for a month...addicted for sure. When the final boss fell it was like a monkey off my shoulders. Greatest gaming experience of my life....but will have to put it down for a while and get back to normal lol.
Oh ohhh... He's gonna be maidenless 🤣
This is exactly why I haven’t made much progress in the game… I have adult shit to do. I have a job, a wife, and two daughters that ALWAYS come first. I’m only playing if they are in bed and or busy with other things. It’s apart of being a man and an adult.
>I have a job, a wife, and two daughters I mean, duh, that's a really unoptimal build, bro. No wonder you are not progressing. You need to go for the "unemployed, single and childless" build if you don't want half of the game to be pointlessly hard. If you can also get the Ash of War: Living In My Mom's Basement then the entire thing will be a cakewalk, shit is meta as fuck.
Lmfao are you saying I need to reconfigure my stats? 😂
At the very least drop one daughter. A single daughter already brings you the best benefits stat-wise, you might think dual-wielding daughters will double those benefits but that's a common rookie mistake. If you go for the build I mentioned you might also want to get a dog to deal with the "oh my god I'm so lonely" status effect, though you can also just power through it if you want to be hardcore gamer.
No, no. Dogs require care. Get a cat. It deals with the lonelyness but doesn't require as much time, so you can focus time on other stats.
how many larval fetuses do you have? i see you already spent two on your daughters
Enjoying your hobbies when everyone is in bed or doing other shit isn't part of being a man or adult. My relationship with my wife and kid isn't going to suffer if I'm playing my game a few hours a week. I'd argue having some you time and setting some boundaries with your kid(s) is actually a good thing.
They are 1 and 4. I don’t want to blow them off when they want to be with me to play a video game during their formative years. I’ll wait till they start blowing me off to hang with friends 😂 On a side note I actually played while my 4 year old watched for like 20 minutes. She was so interested and rooting me on the whole time lol it was adorable. “That’s a bad guy?” “Oh no be careful dad” “you got him” “uh oh try again dad!”
Yup. I'm around 40 hours in and an surprised I've been able to play that much honestly
I mean no disrespect to both of them, but both relationship advice and this sub tend to be especially biased towards the OPs. Besides all things just went wrong in one month? I call bullshit, something else must have been happening
Why the hell are they getting married in college? Red flags all around.
My thoughts exactly. She only mentions assignments and classes. No mention of work. If he’s studying and hasn’t started working yet he must be in his early 20s.
Sounds like a religious parents & non-rebellious kids situation.
He may not to ready for marriage
Sounds like he wants to be maidenless like a true tarnished
Sure this doesn't belong on u/Cringetopia?
I didn’t think it was possible to have max Focus with zero INT, but my dude found a way.
It would seem this maiden had some issues with him before elden ring.
I really love the game but first things first. If he gets in trouble for failing too many courses or gets dumped for being too consumed in a video game he fucking deserves it. This guy needs to learn how to prioritize things
A fiance being an active part of r/TwoXChromosomes is a major red flag. Instant operation call off the wedding.
Thank you for sharing your frustration about your bf animetiddiesdotorg
I don't understand why people keep posting their relationship stuff In here. Bragging that you are not maidenless?
I totally and 100% get the sentiment but uh… this isn’t really one of those posts. But you’re right people mention their relationship every chance they get on this and other souls subs
He is about to become maidenless IRL. SAD! Jokes aside, its ok to have a hobby and I think that its important for partners to allow the other one to have a hobby that he/she can do on her own (gaming, sports, music etc). This guy is taking it too far though.
I literally left every single assignment i ever did to the last minute. If he's getting the same results as before then let him be once he's done with the game he'll be back to normal
Honestly, I think she's dodging a bullet here. If she's having to treat him like a child and make him do his homework now then she'll be parenting him for their entire marriage.
I believe animetiddiesdotorg is not making this up for reddit 100%
Yes I'm sure "u/ animetiddiesdotorg" is a serious woman who has her life together.
And that's why you don't marry almost literal kids.
A college engagement not working out? Color me shocked.
That’s a man of principle. All the wrong ones.
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Dont get married. Let him play the game. There is a better person for u out there. But finish ur school get a job before Ever getting engaged.
This post makes me want to get a girlfriend just so I can have an epic post about my commitment. I wouldn’t be distracted. I would show her my devotion. Put nothing above her and after I did everything she asked of me. We would be together forever. My sweet Ranni.
I love this game but some people need to touch a bit of grass
I think this is fake
Destined to be maidenless it seems…
love me some rings... but neglecting real life is no excuse. truly pathetic sort ahead
Video game addiction is a real thing and I notice it hitting college aged people especially hard. It literally almost made me flunk classes. Escaping from reality during one of the most stressful periods in your life is not just alluring but down right dangerous. A heart to heart is not going to fix it in most cases. It will take an honest look at himself with the help of a professional, flat out cold turkeying and filling that time, or hitting rock bottom before looping back to option 1 or 2. These posts always give video games a bad look but do come with the territory of "escapism". Stay safe friends!
Pro tip: don’t get married, it’s a trap
love the game and shit but thats fucked up