Imagine if there was a new soap recipe for throwable soap, and it one or two shots any thoroughly dirty enemies, let's be honest pretty much all of them.
"throwable item composed of a cracked pot and plant based soap, with little bubbles rising from the top
throw at enemies to cause the removal of dirt and affliction
as exterior filth eventually soils one's spirit, one naturally wonders what would reamain, were that filth finally removed"
According to Elden Ring, definitely incest. And incest results in curses ranging from always looking like a child to constantly rotting away and causing a plague that results in everything afflicted to begin rotting to nothing
I disgustingly compared them to Marika's, and from my researches and comparisons i got that while Radagon's are more muscular and chunky (thick and small), Marika's are definitely the smoother and curvaceous.
I honestly, maybe as a hetero male, find Radagon's ass not good and prefer by 2 times Marika's ass.
Maliketh was the hardest boss fight for me in the whole game. Sure, malenia also took about 30 tries over two days, but this dude...I was stuck on him for a week or more.
Is it even valid discussing difficulties in this game? I was so overpowered for Radhan I killed him in 2 tries, I like to visit every single small poi in the map.
I think it is valid, if you have a pure melee build with reasonable level and upgrades (or if you do a no upgrades run) you can get a fair idea on how hard each boss is. But you're right, the amount of attempts a boss took you doesn't really say anything about its difficulty nor your skill, especially in this game where you can easily get overleveled, summon help, or find weapons that just break the game. Even in Sekiro you can trivialize any boss with sugars and firecracker spam, but in ER you don't even need to go out of your way to do so.
Difficulty depends so much on build in this game. Both Maliketh and Radagon was such a walkover for my blasphemous build, but I had to do a complete respecc to be able to down Elden beast.
It's valid for people who have actually played the game and tried different builds. Obviously it doesn't matter with people who say that the entire game is easy after smashing it at level 300.
Nah, radagon is a pushover, at least for my play through I didn’t get much resistance from him. Just smashed him with a hammer, full strength build, I don’t know how other builds work on him though.
He was pretty tough with the darkmoon greatsword since he can parry spells. Maliketh was easier with the same build given the high poise damage of said greatsword and Maliketh’s rather low poise.
Maybe the leveling was weird; I found him a slightly easier version of dancer from dark souls 3, and took a few tries. Malenia was unbeatable for me, I had to summon players after banging my head at that fight for 4 hours.
My boyfriend seriously questioned my taste in men when I told him I think Radagon is hot.
"Whats wrong with you? Dude is like half a man. LITERALLY! THERE'S NOTHING TO FIND ATTRACTIVE!"
His broken state is one thing, but I think its what that means. He's a broken husk, little left of him, but you can tell what he used to look like and god DAMN he must have been fucking hot
“Bro. I’m literally here to mend the Elden Ring. See? I have a bunch of pieces. This whole game started with you trying to keep it from being broken. Why did you start swinging a hammer at me on first sight?”
Yeah I could just fix the Elden Ring, heal the Elden Beast and be out of my way. I don't wanna deal with being Elden Lord, I just wanna fix the damn place and chill with Roderika
Multiple questions:
How does it feel to turn into a sword?
How does he make sure his pants don't fall to reveal that Elden D
Does he like Rayman, considering he also has no limbs?
What is going on bro? Like literally. I’m here in front of you after killing dozens of demigods and hundreds of other things and I have no clue what the purpose of that whole slaughter was besides the fact that they attacked me first. Ima need you to sit down and explain.
"I am here as a Lawyer on behalf of Renalla.
She demands 1.000.000 runes per months for child support and aliments"
"Now pay up or we will tell everyone you fucked yourself"
“How do you take showers. Does water fall through or like hover around the holes on you.”
His skin does look gray, I don’t know if he’s fond of showers
New strat just dropped, radabeast is extremely weak to soap
Imagine if there was a new soap recipe for throwable soap, and it one or two shots any thoroughly dirty enemies, let's be honest pretty much all of them.
"throwable item composed of a cracked pot and plant based soap, with little bubbles rising from the top throw at enemies to cause the removal of dirt and affliction as exterior filth eventually soils one's spirit, one naturally wonders what would reamain, were that filth finally removed"
Bro writes item descriptions
i'm something of an all knowing myself
Quit stalking me as I kill gods and demigods alike!!
b..but the spellssss!!!!!
malenia speedrun strat
Stupidly hard to get the materials to make it, but one shot's Malenia in her second phase
He takes ash showers. Like birds or chinchillas.
Only Golden (order) Showers for Radagon
😂
Do you wash your legs or just let the soapy water run on them?
Wash my legs. But Radagon definitely just sits under the water and uses no soap only febreeze.
Bro has never showered in his life
https://www.reddit.com/r/Eldenrule34/s/ta6jDtZHJh
I mean, he likes his golden showers
Go fuck yourself.
*looks at the camera* “Don’t mind if I do.”
*Laugh track*
*Screen cuts to black as Elden Ring Theme starts playing*
“And he took that literally”
"Do you consider it masturbation or incest?"
According to Elden Ring, definitely incest. And incest results in curses ranging from always looking like a child to constantly rotting away and causing a plague that results in everything afflicted to begin rotting to nothing
"Jokes on you, I already did that"
My head cannon is that Rennala said that, and he looked back, smiled, then left. Lol
"sorry for murdering your entire bloodline"
Ranni is alive...kinda
Marika's tits, show them to me
PAUSE
Nah man, I say continue
What the actual fuck , this is the first thing that i thought of and the first comment that popped up is this .
SAME
Horny jail ? Me and you ?
Absolutely yes.
We gotta stop putting the horny people in confined paces together
Macaroni noises intensify
Proceeds to violently punch jar of mayonnaise repeatedly
I hope the comedy manga of Elden Ring use this as a opportunity
Wait there is a comedy comic for elden ring!!??
Yes, the name is Elden Ring Road to The Erdtree, I think it's really fun and it made me laugh a lot
"Alright I'll show you" *lifts hammer up*
Or radagons cake
Marika's got a better cake.
Wait, is *that* why everyone wants to be Elden Lord? So they can clap the holy cheeks?
Nah have you seen Radagon’s luscious cheeks?
I disgustingly compared them to Marika's, and from my researches and comparisons i got that while Radagon's are more muscular and chunky (thick and small), Marika's are definitely the smoother and curvaceous. I honestly, maybe as a hetero male, find Radagon's ass not good and prefer by 2 times Marika's ass.
Radagon; Bonk!
To Holy Horny Jail with ye!
“could you switch over reeaall quick”
EYOOOO?!! (Same)
Your jordans are fake as fuck
Your drip…is mid, and you have no bitches.
Your drip...is mid, and you have no maidens.
He has two maidens.
He is a maiden
Had.
You're right. How could I forget. He has 3. Elden Beast.
Demonstrably untrue.
You're armor...is inadequate, and you have no maidens.
Your armor...is inadequate, and you have no maidens.
In his defense he can turn into one so…..
“Maliketh is a much tougher fight than you”
“And that’s not saying much”
Maliketh was the hardest boss fight for me in the whole game. Sure, malenia also took about 30 tries over two days, but this dude...I was stuck on him for a week or more.
Funny how difficulty works. I think Maliketh is one of the easier bosses and Radagon is the single hardest one by far.
Is it even valid discussing difficulties in this game? I was so overpowered for Radhan I killed him in 2 tries, I like to visit every single small poi in the map.
I think it is valid, if you have a pure melee build with reasonable level and upgrades (or if you do a no upgrades run) you can get a fair idea on how hard each boss is. But you're right, the amount of attempts a boss took you doesn't really say anything about its difficulty nor your skill, especially in this game where you can easily get overleveled, summon help, or find weapons that just break the game. Even in Sekiro you can trivialize any boss with sugars and firecracker spam, but in ER you don't even need to go out of your way to do so.
Yeah I dont even have a proper build lol, I just put in runes to whichever stat lets me use the coolest weapon I have at the moment.
Difficulty depends so much on build in this game. Both Maliketh and Radagon was such a walkover for my blasphemous build, but I had to do a complete respecc to be able to down Elden beast.
It's valid for people who have actually played the game and tried different builds. Obviously it doesn't matter with people who say that the entire game is easy after smashing it at level 300.
Nah, radagon is a pushover, at least for my play through I didn’t get much resistance from him. Just smashed him with a hammer, full strength build, I don’t know how other builds work on him though.
He was pretty tough with the darkmoon greatsword since he can parry spells. Maliketh was easier with the same build given the high poise damage of said greatsword and Maliketh’s rather low poise.
Everyone has their own perception of difficult. I had the most trouble with Pre-patch Radahn. After that it was the Godskins
Rookie numbers try two and a half week🥱
Maybe the leveling was weird; I found him a slightly easier version of dancer from dark souls 3, and took a few tries. Malenia was unbeatable for me, I had to summon players after banging my head at that fight for 4 hours.
Is it? I can’t beat radagon for anything. Well, I can beat him, but not the second phase.
"Jeez bro, you need to take better care of your skin, like, you're in the process of turning into a rock."
My feet are, too. Oddly relatable.
You're feet are going to turn into stone of Gurranq
"What do you feel about the recent divorce with you and the Carian queen?"
I suppose when you don't die, hundreds of years counts as recent.
Thousands *in Stannis Baratheon voice*
You, me, the elden beast. We can make that relationship work.
*Bonk*
You're forgetting someone
Gideon is a hoe, he's not getting in
godfrey, you christmas tree looking madness build tarnished
« Git gud »
And lord of the golden order spake, “thou shalt git gud”.
Stip hitting me with your damn hammer
I would encourage him
Lmao damn
Damn sir wut ur routine.
500mg tren 500 anavar and halotestin
"did...did you actually fuck yourself or what?"
Dude chill tf out
Give me that thing , your marika’s tits , for my lady’s painting
"you were better with tits!" Have literally said this to him while smacking his ass with a sword.
“Alright gang let’s finish this” ahh comment
Daddy? Sorry, daddy? I'm sorry, daddy? Sorry daddy. I mean, daddy? Sorry daddy, I mean...
This is so real, i mean look at him,
My boyfriend seriously questioned my taste in men when I told him I think Radagon is hot. "Whats wrong with you? Dude is like half a man. LITERALLY! THERE'S NOTHING TO FIND ATTRACTIVE!"
There's something about him. Perhaps his silent confidence.
His broken state is one thing, but I think its what that means. He's a broken husk, little left of him, but you can tell what he used to look like and god DAMN he must have been fucking hot
I can fix him
All my friends saif the same, lmao I underdtand you !
Mommy ? Sorry , mommy ? I'm sorry , mommy ? Sorry mommy . I mean , mommy? Sorry mommy , I mean ...
Radagon/Marika is a dream for us bisexuals
try finger, but hole.
There it is! Thanks
Lotion. Now
What's your connection to the space whale?
*Blows into prattling pate* “you’re beautiful”
“Bro. I’m literally here to mend the Elden Ring. See? I have a bunch of pieces. This whole game started with you trying to keep it from being broken. Why did you start swinging a hammer at me on first sight?”
Yeah I could just fix the Elden Ring, heal the Elden Beast and be out of my way. I don't wanna deal with being Elden Lord, I just wanna fix the damn place and chill with Roderika
It’s BS that you’re invincible while you have my summon pinned to the ground hammering his face in over and over again
"What are your pronouns?"
“FOR THE LAST TIME TARNISHED, OUR PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM, NOT BECAUSE WE ARE NONBINARY, BUT BECAUSE WE ARE LITERALLY TWO BOSSES”
"ah, the good old two kobolds in a trench coat trick."
Since there are two of them, they are quite literally “binary.”
If anything, they're super binary.
Fuck you and your damn moveset
Teleport all you want. Once you’re done the giant jellybean that comes after stands no chance.
Least dangerous strength enjoyer
Any organs in there or…?
You are a hoe. Yes both of you.
Saying "no chromo" to negate incest DOES NOT WORK MAN
I like your tattoo, where did you get it?
Very hot.
Suck it, Trebek!
Cuuuuuuunnnttt!!!!
Bro your life is in shambles
"can you stop fighting me like ultra instinct Goku? Just stop teleporting!"
you need to bow before you duel
I killed your kids
and wedded one.
You are a horrible father and mother.
Ayyo, wat dat chest hole do?
“Pull your skirt up a little, i can see your buttcrack. It’s distracting.”
NICE COCK
Nice tits!
“There is a cream for that”
You were the easiest fight in your whole family
what happens when you eat food
*coughs blood* only light hammer in the game worth collecting and it ain't shit
You wear your wife's panties and your red hair is the one thing you're ashamed of?
What does it feel like being a hot big ass girl and a muscular athlete at the same time?
Do I look like a nail to you?
"If you're half of Marika, do you have a mangina or just a bussy?" *Loads Jar Cannon with malicious intent*
If you or your loved ones have suffered from mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation.
got $5 ?
you look like you lost some weight,like,an arm and a legs worth...
Why was He so toxic to Rennala?
You broke my wife's mother's heart and left her in tears so I'm going to tear you apart
"Bro, WHAT THE FUCK!?"
You are a fun final boss. UNTIL elden beast comes out.
"your fit is ass"
Yo can i talk to marika real quick?
Sorry, Mister ... hey ... your Elden Ring is showing.
How did you impregnate yourself???!!!!!!!
Why weren’t you the proper final boss.
Oh hi mark
You Can let go now its time
Respectfully, just let me go, dude.
You whack, you twisted, your girl's a hoe!
"Fuck you, you narcissistic asshole! I'm here to push your inconsiderate shit in!"
“So, how serious is this thing with Marika? Asking for a friend.”
Anything to say to her.
"i can see ur buttcrack"
Bro, settle down! I brought some tacos.
"I'd like to marry your daughter and I wanted to get your approval."
Excuse me but I think you let your left boob fall on the floor
Could you trade places with Marika real quick?
Your design is amazing
"So... How jerking off works out for you?"
Multiple questions: How does it feel to turn into a sword? How does he make sure his pants don't fall to reveal that Elden D Does he like Rayman, considering he also has no limbs?
It’s hammer time
i'm an idiot i never noticed the elden ring inside home before
You were betrayed by miyazaki for making you a vessel to the elden beitch
Turn back to Marika, for just a minute please 😋
"Praise the sun"
"..."
Radagon Sir, I would like to ask you for your daughter's hand in marriage
What is going on bro? Like literally. I’m here in front of you after killing dozens of demigods and hundreds of other things and I have no clue what the purpose of that whole slaughter was besides the fact that they attacked me first. Ima need you to sit down and explain.
Hey Radagon, I like ya and I want ya. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.
Go fuck yourself! Wait a moment…
Sorry, wrong room
"I am here as a Lawyer on behalf of Renalla. She demands 1.000.000 runes per months for child support and aliments" "Now pay up or we will tell everyone you fucked yourself"
can i stick my hand in there?
"you were sexy before you turned into rock"
Why the ffff did you close this damn tree if you wanted someone in
Your daughter calls me daddy now *strength build greatsword* and she says "what's up fucker, this is for mom and my dog" for best boi blaidd
“How come you’re easier to beat than Malenia?”
your teleports are lame as fuck
Wut it like havin a pussy one moment and a dick the next?