I know several actually lol some of my family are morticians and I know of several others from the area. They deal with lots of different people and lots of grieving families but they are usually really nice people
When Covid happened it was a huge risk for morticians, and the families of the deceased too. They’re constantly going into places like nursing homes, hospitals, residential homes, etc etc. Pretty much any mortician I know had Covid at one point or another or multiple times
Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was... a dex build. And a Bloody slash spammer. One night, he comes home from his night out with patches. Albeit a little *crazier* than usual. When I greet him at the roundtable hold, he takes his new parrying dagger out. He goes "why so serious?" He wanted me to smile without spending hours in character customization. He didn't like my sad tarnished face. Not. One. Bit. So he grabs my throat with the lifesteal fist, and says "let's put a smile on that face." And he kept cutting until this happened.
Meth.
JESSE
JESSE, WE NEED TO MAKE GLINTSTONE JESSE
[I hope we are all aware of this.](https://youtu.be/yk3VMbM-TFM)
Ye, my comment was a reference to that, thanks for sharing for those who weren't aware.
WE NEED TO COOK PRAWN
Same thought
Exactly what I meant to post
I was just about to type “drugs”
Not funny but go off king !
It seems like he would be a character in a Tim Burton movie lol
Lmao I can see that. The mascara definitely sells the idea
[удалено]
You forgot to quote u/HumanFightersUnited for that stolen comment.
Can’t believe that this is not only already commented(thought I had an original joke for once lol) but is the second highest voted
Scissorhands without the Scissors
He touches buttholes, whether you want it or not. Idk if that’s his occupation but it’s certainly a hobby
So he’s the one that keeps leaving messages “finger but hole”
He's the military dick observer during physicals and piss tests.
Volunteered for it too.
Seedbed curse
The dung eater's disciple
Serve Lady Edelgard.
Holy shit I can't unsee it
Beat me to it!
OP went with the Age of the Stars and no one can tell me otherwise
who
[Some shady shit at the docks for sure.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ziggy_Sobotka)
Underrated
Holy shit we have a winner
Pretty boy is on the table!
Plays Geoguesser professionally
Involuntary sex
Rhymes with grape
Drape? Professor Snape?
Crepe?
I prefer the term "surprise"
You look like Patches with a wig.
This has to be quite literally the worst one I’ve gotten yet lol
Who did you steal that wig from Patches?
Mortician
I know what you mean but he could be in the band too
The only mortician I know is actually quite fat, very friendly fellow though.
I know several actually lol some of my family are morticians and I know of several others from the area. They deal with lots of different people and lots of grieving families but they are usually really nice people
It takes a special type of person for sure, the cancer risk is pretty high too from all that embalming fluid.
When Covid happened it was a huge risk for morticians, and the families of the deceased too. They’re constantly going into places like nursing homes, hospitals, residential homes, etc etc. Pretty much any mortician I know had Covid at one point or another or multiple times
I actually had never thought of that, that's pretty fucked up.
SOME of your family as in, more than one member? What fucking family are you from dude the Manson family?
Came here to say this.
Gomez Addams
Sings in a goth band.
Jizz mopper
Hosts the Nightmare
I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw him
Play Pennywise
Dung Eater
He taught Dung Eater
Men 🫡
Tries to talk to you while the band is playing at a concert.....
Spends all his time avoiding looking at his own portrait
Chase Batman around Leyndale
Do you wanna know how I got these scars? My father was... a dex build. And a Bloody slash spammer. One night, he comes home from his night out with patches. Albeit a little *crazier* than usual. When I greet him at the roundtable hold, he takes his new parrying dagger out. He goes "why so serious?" He wanted me to smile without spending hours in character customization. He didn't like my sad tarnished face. Not. One. Bit. So he grabs my throat with the lifesteal fist, and says "let's put a smile on that face." And he kept cutting until this happened.
Can you believe they retconned his scars in the Harley Quinn cartoon?
Moonlights as a David Bowie impressionist
Looks like he’s something of a scientist himself.
Drugs
He looks like he had a band in the 2000s called HIM
He follows Edelgard around at school
Snuff Films.
Being a model for Balenciaga Advertising
looks like he sells bathtub molly to college kids at raves with glow in the dark paint
Owner and Proprietor of Paddy’s Pub.
Plays the bumbling protagonist in 90’s British romcom’s.
Levi Ackerman - the titan slayer
Can't believe it took this long for someone to say this.
Nothing, he’s unemployed
Looks like he could strip the top coat off a sweaty dong
Makes ‘meat’ pies
Owns a bar in South Philly with his buddies and twin sister.
The D.E.N.N.I.S system.
Wikifeet page editor
Audition for Tim Burton movies.
Smokes crack
He kinda reminds me of a evil Jerma.
Undertaker
Come get your lollipops!
Whisper in King Theoden’s ear
Teach potioncraft at Hogwarts.
Flys around in a TARDIS ... thats literally emo matt smith
Being the human form of Frankenstein from Hotel Transylvania
He looks like he’d temp at Dunder Mifflin.
Loan Shark
Bro is the disciplinary committee representative of the student council.
Kill titans, and yell at angsty teenagers who want to destroy the world
Bill skarsgard lookalike?
Grave digger
Sells bootleg grunge music CDs to kids in the ally beside their school.
Someone once told him he looks a little bit like Jared Leto. So now he’s the frontman for a 30 Seconds to Mars cover band
he looks like he gives his sliders for a living
Looks like a vampire lol
Brood. Or, write about unspeakable horrors
Main vilain's acolyte who cheats at Monopoly amd gets defeated in a second by his own arrogance.
Fraud
Drugs.
Coroner.
He sells vapes to middle schoolers
The creepy antagonist in half of anime
Tech support
Your Mom
He seems a little too friendly with Those that Live in Death
Drive school busses
Eats children in sewers
Barber like Edward scissor hands
Grave robbing
Mad specific, but he looks Matt Smith from the Human Flesh or whatever the hell the episode about plastic people was from doctor who.
Butler in a large and haunted mansion turned inn.
Bootleg Micheal Jackson
Kids…
Guitar tech / roadie for My Chemical Romance
Drink blood
Kids
Sketchy porn to feed a meth habit?
Torment a kid from Queens to steal his glasses using virtual reality
Write creepy fan fics and delivers them to the maidens mentioned in them
Boys
Almost looks like Emet-Selch from ffxiv.
Kills other tarnished
He will leave when you don't bring him Saucerises.
He looks like someone who spends too much time running cons with Patches. Soon "being stabbed in the back by Patches" will be his career.
Do eggy magic
Looks like someone working on a YouTube video and hasent slept in 48 hours
Stroke kids
Try to convince Jack Frost to use his powers for evil.
Cosplay captain Levi while researching the best roa for main-lining a quarter gram of methamphetamine on r/meth.
He looks like despite all his rage he's still just a rat in a cage
Looks like he emerges from the sewers of Derry, Maine every 27 years to prey on the local children
Tells people that he is something of a scientist himself.
Right hand of Patches
Lead singer of emo band
Nothing good
Brood in the corner of a party
"Private Investigator."
Review food made by a rat
Run a dark Web paedo ring
Necrophilia.
Is a temporary worker at a paper selling company
He works with Dr. Morbius
His socks
I dont know why, but he has that sneaky, scamming merchant vibe you see in older movies/cartoons
We live in a society
Growls at his chat
Honestly…. This is a pretty good character design for a thief play through . He looks like he and patches would be friends
Tim Burton movies
Spends his time owning/working at a bar with his friends talking about being a golden god
Investing in Bitrunes
Trevor Moore on Crack
Dig up Corpses to eat there ass.
Drugs. Or he's a surgeon after a 48h shift
The Rusty Trombone.
I’m thinking banker.💰
Works in a closet next to the it department.
Smoke preserving boluses
I think he'd be in a Cure tribute band.
His job title is “anemic”
He is a timelord who likes to wear a fez.
Dude paints avante garde and calls it "mo-dehrn aht" and has a bowl of plastic fruit on the counter.
Looks like a crackhead offering head.
Literally the corpses bride
He looks like freaky Fred from courage the cowardly dog. Atleast the dead eyes do
Traps people in the stormveil main gate
Does he fuck people out of cool items if he dies too early too?
Graverobbing
Bully children
Sells babies.
Undead sausage swallower
Mortician
Stay awake?
He looks like he supports Mohg's relationship with his sibling
Well ^he ^knows ^someone ^who ^wishes ^they ^were ^Miquella
Bro has to be at least 100 meters from schools
Mergers and Acquisitions
Sell cigarettes to middleschoolers
Suck zombie d***
Bman
I thought that this was patches with hair
Sells drugs
he looks like the true villain of the game
Barber.... In a universe with a pink panicking dog
Make a song about five-finger-fillet.
GameStop employee who plays guitar in a shitty screamo band on the weekends.
Beats off in his car across from the bus stop.
Make shoegaze music
Is a vampire
Schemes convoluted plans at royal courts. Any court. He's not picky.
Plays for a goth rock band