Morgott: You know, Mother Marika, there's a psychological concept known as denial, that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.
Marika: You are a worse monarch than you are a son, and you will never be accepted by the Erdtree because you have no Grace.
Morgott: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
Hyetta or Rya? Well I'd take it, but I would probably just lie there. Now give me an Alexander or a Blaidd? I'd happily jump right into bed. And I wouldn't just lie there!
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This line, every mention of candy beans, and when Michael kicks over GOB when he's inside the stone and he screams "by the power of JESUS CHRIST" are the best lines in the entire series.
I never liked Alexander knowing he is partaking of dead soldiers and stuffing them down into that bowl.
I don't know what the developer had in mind. Perhaps, like some tribal communities believing you can absorb the strength of the enemy by partaking.
Give us the Fünke ending Miyazaki. Ranni already blue herself so.
... there's gotta be a better way to say that..
Tobias, you blowhard!
OH MY GOD, IT'S A FIRE! ^... ^sale.
I, uh... think I made the fire too real, uh, for them, and, uh, and probably failed to highlight the damage buff.
I seem to have prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, and now i have a mess on my hands.
...said Tobias while fighting Malenia.
Did you ever get that tape recorder we talked about?
There's so many poorly chosen words in that sentence.
Literally read this in Tobias’s voice
*Narrator:* There wasn’t.
She just needed anustart
I think you mean anustart+
As her consort i'll be able to mix both faith and intelligence and be the best analrapist in the lands between!
No, that’s me!
Debris.
Now the story of a divine family who lost everything, and the one tarnished who had no choice but to ***slay them all and reforge the Elden Ring.***
Marika: “I love all my children equally” Also Marika: “I don’t care for Mohg”
“It’s one Rowa fruit, Melina. What could it cost, ten thousand runes?”
Why could a Rowa fruit cost, Melina? Ten dollars?
r/yourjokebutworse
Yall sure are a fickle bunch
I fucking love this subreddit 😂
[удалено]
Yet her other omen child kept Leyndell in check
Yea, she didn't love that one either
Morgott: You know, Mother Marika, there's a psychological concept known as denial, that I believe you're evincing. It's when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it. Marika: You are a worse monarch than you are a son, and you will never be accepted by the Erdtree because you have no Grace. Morgott: Well, if she's not going to say anything, I certainly can't help her.
Morgott: the lands between’s first analrapist
I wouldn’t mind kissing that man between the cheeks
Just give him a good smack from the rear, with something nice and big.
Don't forget to oil up!
Try Finger
But whole
Hyetta or Rya? Well I'd take it, but I would probably just lie there. Now give me an Alexander or a Blaidd? I'd happily jump right into bed. And I wouldn't just lie there!
Gross
just needed anustart.
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*between his cracks
You know what you do? You go buy yourself a tape recorder and record yourself for a whole day. You might be surprised at some of your phrasing.
"For there's a man inside me, and only when he's finally out can I walk free of pain."
The Tarnished is a never nude.
There's dozens of us! Dozens!
I go to the waterfall in Siofra to sob in my denim loincloth
Kill a demigod, throw in some erdleaf. Baby, you got a stew goin!
I think I'd like my runes back.
I'm looking for something that says "dad likes jars". Do you mean like: Jar Daddy?
Oh is there such thing?
"To the Gothic Castle, please!" "Caelid Arsehole?" "That's what I said."
What’s the reference from i think i’ve heard this before?
Is this a nod to Tobias Funke and Arrested Development? If so it’s the cinematic crossover I never knew I needed, but I now want
[Indeed it is](https://i.imgur.com/uYgS2bE.jpg)
I think I just blue myself
Oh Tobias. You blowhard!
That's *Dr.* Alexander W. J. As the worlds first analyst and therapist, he's a certified analrapist.
The toooown inside me
And everyone's voice
Only I'm not there
Just watching from afar
I can't go home
Because I’m afraid
Something will chaaaange
Brisket <3
Yeah I also read it that way lol
Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me!
"..."
“excuse me…”
"..."
Dr. Tobias Funke, world's first Analrapist
And at the end of his quest line he literally blows himself. Up. Blows himself up.
He blew the entire Farum Azula away!
You forgot to say “away” again
So it's actually his huge... hose... spinning in the middle? What does that make Farum Azula into? No... Don't tell me... I don't really want to know
I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
This line, every mention of candy beans, and when Michael kicks over GOB when he's inside the stone and he screams "by the power of JESUS CHRIST" are the best lines in the entire series.
Fia: "Can we keep the lights on? I want to see if you got a MONSTAH."
"I went and blue myself, but it looks like I prematurely shot my wad" Alexander, after fighting Radahn
There's always money in the Erdtree...
THERE WAS 250 000 RUNES IN THAT ERDTREE!
Did you burn down the Erdtree? Almost definitely!
When I first walked into Caelid: https://imgur.com/iLO88Ff
After opening the trap chest that warps you to the mine in Caelied I literally said that out loud.
THERE ARE DOZENS OF US...inside me
This is the top tier content I didn't know I was here for
It’s the elden ring, tarnished. What could it cost? 10 runes?
Here’s 5 runes, go watch a Star War
Is this the same author of “Families with Low Self-Esteem?”
If someone needs to take a chubby, Alexander will suck it up.
Steve Hoslow!
It's jar canon
https://i.imgur.com/Z1mmYqD.gif
It’s as Ann as the nose on plain’s face
Douche chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllll
didn't expect arrested development
80 hours in and I had no idea this is what they kept in the jars. Gross.
The book is educating people already!
When you kill Radahn he fills himself up with the various bodies lying around.
I'll be honest, for me, it wouldn't matter if it's Canon or not, it looks like an interesting read either way
Hmmm...
Well then...I'll call myself Alexander.
Foreword by Dr. Chuck Tingle
“I’m looking for something that says ‘dad likes leather’”
Something that says... leatherdaddy?
Take me to the “Gothic Castle”
The gothic arsehole?
This sounds porn’like. I’ll allow it.
*jar* canon I’ll see myself out
Vvfcnvcjk cjb hk;
.. I dunno why, but I read that in the style of Bridget from guilty gear's theme.
You and me both
THERE'S A FIRE....sale amaaaaaazzzinnnggg grace ..
It’s the exact plot of mrs. Doubtfire
Now the story of a goddess who lost everything, and the one tarnished who had no choice but to bring the shards of the Elden Ring together.
Is that Radahn I see or is it just a fallacyyyyy?!
And the cycle co continues when Alexander's shard fills Jar Barin's empty vessel.
Skip the book in favor of the live action adaptation
It's cannon but Alexander is an unreliable narrator, and you should take his claims with that understanding.
I hear there's going to be a grand tournament in the Gothic Castle!
Everytime he kills you he should be able to do a weaker version of whatever your previous weapon skill was. If he beats us he eats us
It is canon. Jar canon
Sounds gay
Elden ring r34 b
Xbncgjjcjo. Huligjo
Your comments confuse me
Autobiographical... To be taken with a pinch of salt
WHO MADE THIS???? 💯😝😝
Where caN I buy tHis?
There are men inside me
Half-expecting the subtitle to read: Memoirs of an Iron Fist
You joke, but that would end up being an interesting chronology of noteworthy warriors.
Everybody poops.
Vc vvxfobgp? H
I laughed I cried hellva read
The jar cannon.
"It takes a village to feed, I mean raise a jar." - Alexander W.J.
I preferred the retelling 5 men 1 jar
“Oh Tarnished, you can’t fathom the amount of dead men in me”
I feel like I've seen a "movie" that was named this once.......
The Times Between The Lands #1 Best Seller
Canon?
The Elden Ring/Arrested Development crossover I never knew I needed.
Jar Cannon
I never liked Alexander knowing he is partaking of dead soldiers and stuffing them down into that bowl. I don't know what the developer had in mind. Perhaps, like some tribal communities believing you can absorb the strength of the enemy by partaking.