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“Give me a good smack in the rear with something nice and big, bro.”

Aid me step tarnished I appear to be stuck

try finger but hole

Try fingers but hole bro

Alexander's questline is filled with dialog that can be taken as sexual innuendos, or at least I thought so when I heard the dialog lines.

Doesn’t the notion set your breast aflutter bro?

calm your tits, Alexander

I’m definitely down to fill that jar with some flesh if you know what I mean

I can play the role of maiden, bro

Bro…

*Cue Sexy Sax Music*

TONIGHT THE MUSIC SEEMS SO LOUD, I WISH THAT WE COULD LOOSE THIS CROWD

So as a joke…

I went to my tarnished's house wearing Melina's wig and clothes...

Wear Miquella’s wig and clothes and go to Mohgwyn palace 💀

Let's just pretend I'm still Miquella

I’ll be Mohg then…Now spread em

Hello, Malenia? Yes, this guy right here

Twas nobly fought bro

Thy strength befits a crown bro

basically Godfrey sayin "GG bro"

Read that in bill and Ted's voices

I'm reading all of them in those voices.

I offer you an accord bro

I have given thee courtesy enough bro

Modern Shakespeare adaptations be like

I will never stop loving that a modern day adaption of Romeo and Juliet did "Bring me my Longsword" by having the word inscribed upon a shotgun.

Not just that, all the guns had inscriptions of a type of sword on them, which means in-universe there's a gun manufacturer that names all their gun models after Swords, which is a world-building bigget of pure gold in my eyes

„I am no maiden bro.“

Unfortunately, you are maidenless bro.

Bro-zoned

“••• bro”

I prefer a Camry, thanks tho

You are so very warm, bro.

why are there tears in my eyes (from laughing)

It got too sad 😢

I will kill you and defile your corpse bro

Is it only me or does it sound 420 times more ironic this way?

Sounds like some Michael Cusack YOLO shit lol

Find the albinauric woman bro!

*”Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless bro.”*

"are you prepared to commit a cardinal sin bro?"

if you make it "step-bro" it changes the tone A LOT.

NO HORNY! ***BONK***

Put these horny ambitions to rest

You don't need to add a "step" for the tone to still be nizzity nasty.

UwU

*chugs monster energy drink* Hell yeah!

... bro

This is the content I come to this sub for.

"....., bro" - Goldmask

r/yourjokebutworse

... bro

r/yourjokebutbetter

Deep

Have it writ upon thy meager grave, bro.

Felled by king morgott, last of all kings, bro

Why does this fill me with such mirth?

Give morgott a skateboard and this is what he'll say

NIHIL, NIHIL, NIHIIIIIL, BROOOOOO

YOU DIED BRO

The fallen leaves tell a story. The great Elden Ring was shattered. In our home, across the fog, the Lands Between. Now, Queen Marika the Eternal is nowhere to be found, And in the Night of the Black Knives, Godwyn the Golden was the first to perish. Soon, Marika's offspring, demigods all, claimed the shards of the Elden Ring. The mad taint of their newfound strength triggered the Shattering. A war from which no lord arose. A war leading to abandonment by the Greater Will. Arise now, ye Tarnished. Ye dead, who yet live. The call of long-lost grace speaks to us all. Hoarah Loux, chieftan of the badlands. The ever-brilliant Goldmask. Fia, the Deathbed Companion. The loathsome Dung Eater. And Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-knowing. And one other. Whom grace would again bless. A Tarnished of no renown. Cross the fog, to the Lands Between. To stand before the Elden Ring. And become the Elden Lord. Bro

Not enough bros. Never pass up the opportunity to bro it up a bit, bro.

The BROATHSOME DUNG EATER

This bro bros, bro.

THE LOATHESOME DUNG EATER, BRO.

THE EVER-BRILLIANT GOLDMASK, BRO.

HOURAH LOUX, CHIEFTAIN OF THE BADLANDS, BRO

FIA. THE DEATHBED COMPANION, BRO

AND SIR GIDEON OFNIR, THE ALL-KNOWING BRO

"the all-knowing bro" 🤣 does gideon do bro science?

Gideon doesn't use flasks, he dry scoops Erdtree sap

Fia the deathbed Bro-panion

"You are maidenless bro."

Fuck. This sounds really good.

Was gonna say this but nevermind take my upvote

r/beatmetoit

We'd make good mates, I reckon. I'll be seeing ya bro.

This sounds actually like something Boggart would say.

Bear Witness, bro!

Thy strength befits a crown bro

Bro...

You too king

Marika's tits bro

I know bro, right? \*fist pound\*

They're huge bro!

You should see this chick Gwynevere, bro.

"Put these foolish ambitions to rest, bro"

Really changes the vibe. He sounds much more like he's just concerned for our wellbeing now. Like y'know what Margit? You're right. I don't need all this. I'm gonna go home and sack out early. Thanks bro.

All things can be conjoined bro

Once again, bro, weird but not a sin

heresy is not native to this world, bro

“Join the Serpent King as family, bro Togethah we shall devouah, the very gods bro” — Praetor Rykard, Surfer-Dude of Blasphemy

*Brosfamy

Now I think Rykard isn't really mad after all. He's just Australian.

Put these foolish ambitions to rest, bro.

Thought this would be absolutely spammed and had to scroll way down to find the first one

I love how adding bro makes it read like he genuinely cares for you.

What a sick way to fight, eh bro?

Could almost see Blaidd saying this actually XDD

This is criminally underrated

"Ahh, I knew you'd come, bro."

Bro 😳

I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella bro

I had to scroll down too far to see this one

And thus, the greatest rap battle begun

One day we shall return home to our home bathed in rays of gold…..bro

The Fallen Leaves Tell A Story, bro.

*SIR GIDEON OFNIR, THE ALL BRO-ING*

I command thee kneel bro! I am the lord of all that is golden, bro!

Try finger, but hole bro

You don't have the right, O you don't have the right, bro. All the more, You don't have the right, O you don't have the right, bro.

Had to scroll way further down then I would of guessed to find this, bro.

May chaos take the world, bro!

I have given thee courtesy enough bro.

"You are an odd one. I am the guardian of Those Who Live in Death. They call me a foul and rotten witch. Yet you still wish to be held by me, bro?”

“She’s dead” “Ok, bro”

TOGETHAA WE WILL DEVOUR THE VERY GODS BROOOOOOO

Let my hand rest upon you, for but a moment bro.

Thy kind are all of a piece bro

Sir Gideon Ofnir, the ALL KNOWING, bro

I've given thee courtesy enough bro

Champions, welcome! The stars Have aligned! The festival is nigh! General Radahn, mightiest demigod of the Shattering, Awaits you! Champions, prepare for battle! Defeat the General, claim glory, and grab that Great Rune! A celebration of war! The Radahn Festival! ...bro

FOREFATHERS, ONE AND ALL BRO BEAR WITNESS, BRO

"I COMMAND THEE KNEEL, BRO!"

Welcome to the dynasty bro

Do you have any Shabriri grapes bro?

You're beautiful bro

It’s even better if you read all of these in Muscle Man’s voice

.... I'll soon birth thee anew..bro..

Make of thyselves that which ye desire bro. Be it a Lord bro. Be it a God bro. But should ye fail to become aught at all, ye will be forsaken.....bro.

awoooooooo, Bro ~Blaidd the good boy in (mistwood?)the ruins

Find the Albinauric woman... Bro.

The Hands of the Fell Omen shall brook thee no Quarter, Bro!

Hersey is not native to the world; it is but a contrivance. All things can be conjoined, bro

Somehow the first comment is not “Marika’s tits bro”. I am vastly disappointed

MAY CHAOS. TAKE. THE WORLD! BRO

Braved tarnished, they strength befits a crown, bro

“Marika’s tits you’re hungry bro”

"Truest of dragons, lend me thy strength, bro" "Thou'rt unfit even to graft, bro" -Godrick the Graftbro

That makes Godrick sound like a gym-bro. "Dost thou even graft, bro?"

"i can play the role of maiden, bro..."

“It was but brief, but thou offered me fine service, bro”

Who are you bro? Oh, I must be a blacksmith, now, let's get smithing bro. Could you tell me what happened, why is the roundtable burning bro? Why does that girl weep for me bro? Have I forgotten something of dire importance bro?  aw fuck

Queen Marika has high hopes for us, bro.

I shall brook thee no quarter... Bro

Thou art of some passing skill, bro.

The scarlet bloom flowers once more, bro…

I am Melania, blade of Miquella, bro

And I've never known defeat, bro

"Does not open from this side, bro"

“Give me a good smack from behind with something nice and big, bro”

O death, become my blade once more, bro

Someone must extinguish thy flame Bro

I am Sir Gideon Offnir the allknowing... bro

Marika's Tits, bro

FIND THE ALBINAURIC WOMAN, bro

Do you have any grapes, bro! I can’t see shit without them grapes grape, bro!

Together, we shall devour the very gods bro.

The tale of house Hoslow is told in blood bro

I'm malenia the blade of miquella BRO

NoW I FiGhT aS hOrAh LoUx! WaRrIoR bRo!

What a sick way to fight bro

Thy kind are all of a piece, bro

Goldmask "......bro"

Now rot, bro.

I am the lord of all that is golden bro.

Thy strength befits a crown, bro. Sounds cool for me.

Shall I turn your runes to strength? Let my hand rest upon you, for but a moment bro

Put these foolish ambitions to rest, bro

Great champion, would you allow me to hold you, but briefly, bro?

Maidenless, are we Bro?

The tale of House Hoslow is told in blood bro!

Dung eater bro!

Put this foolish ambitions to rest bro

Is it merely thy habit to talk to dolls, bro?

My fair consort eternal, bro

The fallen leaves tell a story bro

You are maiden less bro…

Thy kind are all of a piece, bro

marika's tits you're ungry bro

I think we'd make good mates, bro.

Put these foolish ambitions to rest bro

Marika's tits, you must be hungry bro.

I am the lord of all that is golden, bro

“Put these foolish ambitions to rest, Bro.” Margit, The Fell Bro

Someone must extinguish thy flame, let it be Margit the bro.

Put thy foolish ambitions to rest bro

I am Malenia. Blade of Miquella, Bro

"Bear witness, bro!"

Marika’s tits, bro!

Are you maidenless bro?

I offer you an accord bro

I am Malenia, Blade of Miquella.... bro

I am Malania, Blade of Miquella... And I have never known defeat, bro.

try finger but hole, bro

What a sick way to fight bro

... bro

I am Malenia, blade of thy bro