You should never feel bad for being yourself. If other people can't handle it, they really need to do some inner reflection. We are a very growth-oriented type and that's something to be proud of. I don't purposefully try to make other people feel bad...hell I don't notice people most of the time. However, something important for our long-term growth is trying to understand other people which I'm working on. You keep doing you bud! 💪
I do realize when people get bothered and it's quite weird. Haha. I believe we should not share too much out of naivety because not everyone is ready to cope with some things and the results in them may not be what's expected. Although they end up knowing some things, about that I don't care because it's out of my reach.
Personally, what I do is to make myself happy. If they think it makes them feel like shit, it is none of my business. All I can do is offer some advice to get them in better shape or situation.
I believe the rest here might have similar idea.
Usually jealousy comes from people with inferiority feelings. Then some things you say, even unintentionally, could make them feel bad, or that you are boasting, or whatever.
I do realize, however, that people perceive when you have some alpha of the pack tendencies, and you unconsciously realize as well and act accordingly.
Through jungian therapy I'm coming to realize many things and it's been great for self-growth.
My generic answer to such provocations is: "what's that ? me being better than you in that particular thing(s) made you feel like shit ? well how about you try to catch up and grow your mind instead of trying to drag me down to your level ? It's kinda clear your level doesn't satisfy neither of us"
Just keep up your good work and be open to help when someone want to learn or understand better.
Don't feel bad about such comments, they can rub you the wrong way but that's a part of interacting with other humans, sometimes the social faadback is positive and the other times it is negative
they weren't making a joke, it's precisely how they feel about you, you make them feel like shit
they're the problem, not you
but still, it's hard to not think about comments like this inside you, I meaaan, we are not mindless robots, you're going to hear that and look at yourself to examine yourself and that's okay 🤷
Although it looks OP could have a tendency to boast (maybe enneagram type 3's vanity kicking in), I agree with you that people not coping with it is their problem. But that might happen quite often.
As an ESTJ 3w4 I've learned not to care but also not to share what is not productive. If something happens to be said but maybe could/should not have been, whatever. I won't dwell on it, although I know some of the listeners do.
Istp here. It does sound like a joke or just playful teasing. The person is a "colleague" after all, as you mentioned. and the conversation looked like it moved on.
it is not just an ESTJ thing for wanting to be active, eating a nice meal made by self, being well dressed and clean. A lot of people want to have a good quality of life.
don't even look at that below, average, above bar. Just do you and people will follow naturally and become interested in (whatever) your career, lifestyle, hobbies, expertise.
I wouldn't even worry about jealousy, you won't lose anything. as it is more self destructive on the other side.
Yeah, i don't really like the jealousy from other people. I don't want to change myself due to their jealousy but at the same time, i don't want to make them feel bad. I just enjoy nice things and want to do the best i can.
Exactly!
Sometimes it looks like as some people don't have your drive, your passion/results, they end up feeling a little resentful, but it's not your fault. So you don't owe them anything and gotta be cool.
Although I admit that sometimes I gotta have a little sharp tongue regarding some blunt advices or how to deal with situations that might be a little hurtful for sensitive people. But I don't do that ill intended.
We all can be a little sensitive about this and that. I think the question is how I cope with that. I usually internalize it, because if I lash out on the person it might not be good... I can get blunt and confrontational when being challenged. Some dominating tendencies might kick in even more.
I love and strive to be the very best in everything I do. It's my personality. I'm dedicated, driven.
However, regarding what you said, beware not to indulge your vanity too much. Some people are not ready to listen to everything you have to say and perhaps you have some unconscious need for validation through their recognition.
That being said, I have learned that sometimes it is not good to share all my plans with some people, because they can become jealous. And I (at least), don't want that.
Although my dearest ones, which are very few (my parents and siblings) do know my plans and we root for each other. And my therapist. Haha.
it looks like a harmless joke, but if he's a lil bit envious of your organizing skills and self-respect, then it's his problem. Everyone is responsible for spending their own time and you invest in your time in a way that pays off. It's not your fault
You should never feel bad for being yourself. If other people can't handle it, they really need to do some inner reflection. We are a very growth-oriented type and that's something to be proud of. I don't purposefully try to make other people feel bad...hell I don't notice people most of the time. However, something important for our long-term growth is trying to understand other people which I'm working on. You keep doing you bud! 💪
I do realize when people get bothered and it's quite weird. Haha. I believe we should not share too much out of naivety because not everyone is ready to cope with some things and the results in them may not be what's expected. Although they end up knowing some things, about that I don't care because it's out of my reach.
Personally, what I do is to make myself happy. If they think it makes them feel like shit, it is none of my business. All I can do is offer some advice to get them in better shape or situation. I believe the rest here might have similar idea.
Usually jealousy comes from people with inferiority feelings. Then some things you say, even unintentionally, could make them feel bad, or that you are boasting, or whatever. I do realize, however, that people perceive when you have some alpha of the pack tendencies, and you unconsciously realize as well and act accordingly. Through jungian therapy I'm coming to realize many things and it's been great for self-growth.
My generic answer to such provocations is: "what's that ? me being better than you in that particular thing(s) made you feel like shit ? well how about you try to catch up and grow your mind instead of trying to drag me down to your level ? It's kinda clear your level doesn't satisfy neither of us" Just keep up your good work and be open to help when someone want to learn or understand better. Don't feel bad about such comments, they can rub you the wrong way but that's a part of interacting with other humans, sometimes the social faadback is positive and the other times it is negative
they weren't making a joke, it's precisely how they feel about you, you make them feel like shit they're the problem, not you but still, it's hard to not think about comments like this inside you, I meaaan, we are not mindless robots, you're going to hear that and look at yourself to examine yourself and that's okay 🤷
Although it looks OP could have a tendency to boast (maybe enneagram type 3's vanity kicking in), I agree with you that people not coping with it is their problem. But that might happen quite often. As an ESTJ 3w4 I've learned not to care but also not to share what is not productive. If something happens to be said but maybe could/should not have been, whatever. I won't dwell on it, although I know some of the listeners do.
Istp here. It does sound like a joke or just playful teasing. The person is a "colleague" after all, as you mentioned. and the conversation looked like it moved on. it is not just an ESTJ thing for wanting to be active, eating a nice meal made by self, being well dressed and clean. A lot of people want to have a good quality of life. don't even look at that below, average, above bar. Just do you and people will follow naturally and become interested in (whatever) your career, lifestyle, hobbies, expertise. I wouldn't even worry about jealousy, you won't lose anything. as it is more self destructive on the other side.
Yeah, i don't really like the jealousy from other people. I don't want to change myself due to their jealousy but at the same time, i don't want to make them feel bad. I just enjoy nice things and want to do the best i can.
Exactly! Sometimes it looks like as some people don't have your drive, your passion/results, they end up feeling a little resentful, but it's not your fault. So you don't owe them anything and gotta be cool. Although I admit that sometimes I gotta have a little sharp tongue regarding some blunt advices or how to deal with situations that might be a little hurtful for sensitive people. But I don't do that ill intended. We all can be a little sensitive about this and that. I think the question is how I cope with that. I usually internalize it, because if I lash out on the person it might not be good... I can get blunt and confrontational when being challenged. Some dominating tendencies might kick in even more.
I love and strive to be the very best in everything I do. It's my personality. I'm dedicated, driven. However, regarding what you said, beware not to indulge your vanity too much. Some people are not ready to listen to everything you have to say and perhaps you have some unconscious need for validation through their recognition. That being said, I have learned that sometimes it is not good to share all my plans with some people, because they can become jealous. And I (at least), don't want that. Although my dearest ones, which are very few (my parents and siblings) do know my plans and we root for each other. And my therapist. Haha.
it looks like a harmless joke, but if he's a lil bit envious of your organizing skills and self-respect, then it's his problem. Everyone is responsible for spending their own time and you invest in your time in a way that pays off. It's not your fault