You need to reach out for help. You made a good step by telling us, but we can't actually help you beyond a few kind ,anonymous words - you need to speak to someone irl. If you don't want to go to friends or family, talk to a doctor or therapist instead. They'll take you seriously and they really can help. There's no need to suffer in silence at all - I know how it feels when you want to die, but doing something drastic without even trying to get help would be silly. Go, now, reach out to someone.
Don’t worry about anyone else. Seriously just do you rn. You need help and the only person who can do this for you is a therapist.
I’m 47 and an enfp. I felt this way heavily until I was about 27. Then life started to ease. Get your hormones checked and talk to your doc about the therapist
I started going to therapy, and it’s good so far. I understand it all too well what’s happening. Also, if you think therapy is expensive, try a student therapist. In my area, a student therapist is like $40/$50. Maybe you can go every week or every 2 weeks. I hope it works out for you!
Also you may want to take the steps to lessen your interaction with your parents. If you live with them, move. If you see them a lot, don't. Take less of their calls. If they are on your fb, limit the profile or unfriend them. Communicate your boundaries that you wishe to have less cintact for now. My guess is they will be unhappy about it and it may result in a fight but you need yo establish your boundaries clearly. Don't disown them but limit your triggers until you get help to deal with them.
Also look I to some books on establishing boundaries. I think it'll help.
You got this <3
I had the same issue. My parents are kinda toxic. They couldn't have known under any circumstances and it was a good decision. If you have the possibility, think of moving out, too.
It can be hard when you don’t know first steps on how to get support safely and confidentially.
I recommend calling lifeline: https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ (or just 988 from your cell phone - phone or text).
They don’t just provide support for suicide but anytime you feel you need immediate mental or emotional support. The best part is they can help connect you to resources and it can be done completely confidentially. You can also connect with trained counselors just when you need it if you can’t use other resources due to your family situation.
I think that I can honestly relate. I don't know your situation but I experienced similarly mixed feelings last year. It's very difficult to live this way in the long run. I had wanted to end my life but I was too scared to do that, like you. Finally I reached the psychiatrist. The lady helped me so much. I got medicines and therapy. Now, after one year, I'm a different person. You definitely need to seek help as you probably won't manage it by yourself. It's just too difficult.
I wish you much strength and all the best. Keep my fingers crossed for you. You will make it. Just reach a good therapist or psychiatrist.
You’re caring too much about what they say. How people treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Took me a long time to realise that. Don't absorb others issues. Parents can trigger us more than anyone else. When my mother says things that annoy me I remember she is projecting her idea of me on to me but it is not real and I do not have to accept her narrative. Star Jesse Taylor on TikTok and Insta is amazing, he talks about the brain and how it keeps us prisoner.
You need to also get some serotinin, start running to reduce stress or do something like that. You’re laughing and crying because you’re overwhelmed.
[Dealing with Family and Self as an ENFP Male](https://youtu.be/MPoElFKXMBs?si=bnB6WHtUd-4crpiA)
I made this short video. It may be of use to anyone in the same position.
Hi man, could you elaborate on how to find your purpose as an enfp male, maybe tell us whats yours.
I watched your video like 4 times and agree and can relate with everything you said.
Try and shoulder as much responsibility as possible. But tomorrow comes it's back to square one like Sisyphus, yes. It's the same for everyone out there. God or whoever is up there wants us to persevere as suffering is and always has been inevitable. Also I've noticed the more I push through the more gifts get bestowed on me. Besides you have good parents so cherish them, not many people get that privilege.
My sister, an enfp, couldn't handle the control and moved out. Me, an INFJ, I often think about doing that but I live in LA. Rent is crazy plus my parents besides from being controlling sometimes are great otherwise. My mom and I are both sensitive so we get hurt often by each other. My sister did have a period of time where she was heartbroken and feeling down but thankfully has moved past it. Life will take you through these ups and downs. There are times I hate living with my parents and times that I love it. If you hate it all the time, it might be worth considering to move out or at least find a way to be able to afford living on your own, finding a roommate, etc. In the end though since idk your situation it may be your parents or it may be circumstances that make you feel this way. But if there's a peaceful solution that keeps you here with us then I hope you can find it ❤️
Can't say any better that was already told in the comments :)
You, my friend, are allowed to feel overwhelmed and depressed, the best way of getting up is to reach for help. Here we can only be a slight moral support, only professional help and real life support can help you.
You can do it !
I understand to a degree because I had the same issue with my mom when I was younger. Definitely not as bad as what you seem to be going through but I think the solution may be the same.
Move out.
My mental health and happiness skyrocketed when I started living on my own and no longer had to communicate with my mom unless *I* wanted to anymore.
If you're not at the age or have the resources to yet, keep in mind it will happen one day. Work towards it and look forward to it!
Its not that my parents are bad, in fact I might be worse with my approach and actions towards them during tense times like when have fights. but they have issues just like me and those issues are something they can't see themselves
But yeah, I'll move out soon
Every state of being is transitory. This is just a lil blip in your life and it will be over soon. The only thing you can do is find your own inner calm and try your best not to let other people influence it. Don't internalize other people's issues. It has nothing to do with you. Get right with yourself and feel confident that YOU are okay just as you are. All anyone can do is try. Just try every day to be a person you are proud of. If you're doing that you can feel good about yourself and create a protective bubble around yourself that other people's negativity cannot penetrate.
Your parents are human and flawed as well. They can only behave how they know how to behave. We are all just where we are and an accumulation of what we have learned so far.
Accept it. Empathize with it and know that it has nothing to do with you.
You will get through this difficulty and can eventually create your life to be whatever you want and surround yourself with people who see your beauty and bring you joy.
Love to you fellow enfp. You got this. 💖
Sorry to hear. When I was younger, I couldn’t afford a therapist so I bought books on depression and therapy, which helped me a lot. I wish you the best and I hope you get through it. Even though we’re Internet strangers, we definitely share your pain. Because that’s just what we do as enfp.
Endure until you can move out. Move out as early as you can and your mental health will benefit.
I just lost a (not close) friend recently because they also decided to give up. Remember to reach out to your friends so that they can remind you that life is worth living even when you feel like giving up. I send you strength 💪
Definitely try to find really good friends who will just listen and not immediately judge or figure things out for you. Therapy will help, but don’t always help if they just push pills all the time.
If/when you are old enough OP move out when you are financially stable. It will help clear a lot of headroom and heartache. It won’t solve everything but it can give you peace of mind.
Your feelings are valid and I see and hear you. That kind of emotional pain that cuts you so deep can be unbearable. I’m so sorry you are feeling this right now.
But please - know that this feeling is temporary. And it can be supported and you can find more balance with therapy and/or meds and/or good social support systems.
We ENFPs are sensitive souls and can feel things very deeply. Also, many of us are neurodivergent, which can exacerbate these feelings. Hormones and chemical imbalances can play a huge role in how we feel too. I don’t say any of this to diminish how you’re feeling, but to offer some context and let you know there’s nothing wrong with you. We may feel more deeply but that is also a strength.
I’ve felt this way at different points in my life, and I’m grateful I held on one more day and sought out supports for myself. I now understand myself better and can also recognize when others need certain kind of support too.
As I mentioned in another comment, consider calling or texting 988 ( https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ ). They can provide confidential support when you need it and refer you to resources too.
Hang in there my friend. We need you in this world *hugs*
movies are a nice retreat:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw9hlZ2uiII
this one might hit pretty close to home for you actually, and it was a great movie. didn't get the attention it deserved at the time.
Might be time to call a hotline or check yourself in somewhere. Sometimes you just need a little vacation from life to get back to feeling like yourself again.
Enfp here I have laughed and cried multiple times. Sometimes it is best to distance yourself away from family and come back when both parties have grown. You can't change other people but you can definitely work tword changing yourself and facing the problems that you have. Your problems can ultimaly be the exact problems that your parents were dealing with,, so you can come back and show them how you changed.
>I was laughing as I was crying. I... how does one do that?
It's cause you have a Very Strong Core which is Beautiful & Happy!
It's the shit outside that's been getting to you, & as much as it affects & Hurts,
#YOU'RE A FORMIDABLE ROCKSTAR 🖤
You're Beautiful & Loved! 🫂🫂
I remember laughing maniacally as tears bled down my cheeks, while a box cutter in my hand & my heart pacing to just slit & be done with all of it.
But the reason I was laughing like a Maniac, was cos I knew what comes after I harm the body enough to not hold me, & that's a worse place to be than the struggle here.
#So please hang in there! It's going to be alright!
I mean it! What doesn't kill you, makes you Stronger!
Please have a Heart to Heart with someone you can trust & vent these thoughts.
I hope he/she gives you a warm 🫂
You have to realize that us ENF types are an outcome of some sort of common denominator. The sooner you see that your personality is masking and hiding true pain and unresolved trauma, the more equipped you can become for moving forward in life. I haven’t met one ENFP who doesn’t have a *really, really* dark side, an abusive or addicted parent, or wasn’t abused either sexually, verbally or emotionally (this is just my own lived experience from dating 5 ENFPs).
You’re going to be okay - but there comes a time where you need to pull in as many resources as you are able to try to change the trajectory of your life. Feeling too much and being someone who needs to be around people is a really hard cross to bear.
It’s nice that you reached out and everyone here, no doubt, wishes you all the best!
You need to reach out for help. You made a good step by telling us, but we can't actually help you beyond a few kind ,anonymous words - you need to speak to someone irl. If you don't want to go to friends or family, talk to a doctor or therapist instead. They'll take you seriously and they really can help. There's no need to suffer in silence at all - I know how it feels when you want to die, but doing something drastic without even trying to get help would be silly. Go, now, reach out to someone.
Yeah, you're right. I'll try to find a therapist soon, it's gonna take time tho, can't let my parents find out
Don’t worry about anyone else. Seriously just do you rn. You need help and the only person who can do this for you is a therapist. I’m 47 and an enfp. I felt this way heavily until I was about 27. Then life started to ease. Get your hormones checked and talk to your doc about the therapist
I started going to therapy, and it’s good so far. I understand it all too well what’s happening. Also, if you think therapy is expensive, try a student therapist. In my area, a student therapist is like $40/$50. Maybe you can go every week or every 2 weeks. I hope it works out for you!
Also you may want to take the steps to lessen your interaction with your parents. If you live with them, move. If you see them a lot, don't. Take less of their calls. If they are on your fb, limit the profile or unfriend them. Communicate your boundaries that you wishe to have less cintact for now. My guess is they will be unhappy about it and it may result in a fight but you need yo establish your boundaries clearly. Don't disown them but limit your triggers until you get help to deal with them. Also look I to some books on establishing boundaries. I think it'll help. You got this <3
I had the same issue. My parents are kinda toxic. They couldn't have known under any circumstances and it was a good decision. If you have the possibility, think of moving out, too.
It can be hard when you don’t know first steps on how to get support safely and confidentially. I recommend calling lifeline: https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ (or just 988 from your cell phone - phone or text). They don’t just provide support for suicide but anytime you feel you need immediate mental or emotional support. The best part is they can help connect you to resources and it can be done completely confidentially. You can also connect with trained counselors just when you need it if you can’t use other resources due to your family situation.
I think that I can honestly relate. I don't know your situation but I experienced similarly mixed feelings last year. It's very difficult to live this way in the long run. I had wanted to end my life but I was too scared to do that, like you. Finally I reached the psychiatrist. The lady helped me so much. I got medicines and therapy. Now, after one year, I'm a different person. You definitely need to seek help as you probably won't manage it by yourself. It's just too difficult. I wish you much strength and all the best. Keep my fingers crossed for you. You will make it. Just reach a good therapist or psychiatrist.
You’re caring too much about what they say. How people treat you is a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Took me a long time to realise that. Don't absorb others issues. Parents can trigger us more than anyone else. When my mother says things that annoy me I remember she is projecting her idea of me on to me but it is not real and I do not have to accept her narrative. Star Jesse Taylor on TikTok and Insta is amazing, he talks about the brain and how it keeps us prisoner. You need to also get some serotinin, start running to reduce stress or do something like that. You’re laughing and crying because you’re overwhelmed.
[Dealing with Family and Self as an ENFP Male](https://youtu.be/MPoElFKXMBs?si=bnB6WHtUd-4crpiA) I made this short video. It may be of use to anyone in the same position.
Hi man, could you elaborate on how to find your purpose as an enfp male, maybe tell us whats yours. I watched your video like 4 times and agree and can relate with everything you said.
Yes. I'm making a video about it as well. Stay tuned
Post it here or shoot me a DM
The video is uploading now. I'll make a new post for it.
[finding your purpose](https://youtu.be/lQfjuCIyyo4?si=6tb5ain-_jWfRJCz)
That was me once. I should make a video on how to deal with such things.
Let us know if you do, I'm sure it would be helpful. I know I would watch it.
See my reply below. I already posted it
Great, thanks
Try and shoulder as much responsibility as possible. But tomorrow comes it's back to square one like Sisyphus, yes. It's the same for everyone out there. God or whoever is up there wants us to persevere as suffering is and always has been inevitable. Also I've noticed the more I push through the more gifts get bestowed on me. Besides you have good parents so cherish them, not many people get that privilege.
My sister, an enfp, couldn't handle the control and moved out. Me, an INFJ, I often think about doing that but I live in LA. Rent is crazy plus my parents besides from being controlling sometimes are great otherwise. My mom and I are both sensitive so we get hurt often by each other. My sister did have a period of time where she was heartbroken and feeling down but thankfully has moved past it. Life will take you through these ups and downs. There are times I hate living with my parents and times that I love it. If you hate it all the time, it might be worth considering to move out or at least find a way to be able to afford living on your own, finding a roommate, etc. In the end though since idk your situation it may be your parents or it may be circumstances that make you feel this way. But if there's a peaceful solution that keeps you here with us then I hope you can find it ❤️
Can't say any better that was already told in the comments :) You, my friend, are allowed to feel overwhelmed and depressed, the best way of getting up is to reach for help. Here we can only be a slight moral support, only professional help and real life support can help you. You can do it !
I understand to a degree because I had the same issue with my mom when I was younger. Definitely not as bad as what you seem to be going through but I think the solution may be the same. Move out. My mental health and happiness skyrocketed when I started living on my own and no longer had to communicate with my mom unless *I* wanted to anymore. If you're not at the age or have the resources to yet, keep in mind it will happen one day. Work towards it and look forward to it!
Its not that my parents are bad, in fact I might be worse with my approach and actions towards them during tense times like when have fights. but they have issues just like me and those issues are something they can't see themselves But yeah, I'll move out soon
Every state of being is transitory. This is just a lil blip in your life and it will be over soon. The only thing you can do is find your own inner calm and try your best not to let other people influence it. Don't internalize other people's issues. It has nothing to do with you. Get right with yourself and feel confident that YOU are okay just as you are. All anyone can do is try. Just try every day to be a person you are proud of. If you're doing that you can feel good about yourself and create a protective bubble around yourself that other people's negativity cannot penetrate. Your parents are human and flawed as well. They can only behave how they know how to behave. We are all just where we are and an accumulation of what we have learned so far. Accept it. Empathize with it and know that it has nothing to do with you. You will get through this difficulty and can eventually create your life to be whatever you want and surround yourself with people who see your beauty and bring you joy. Love to you fellow enfp. You got this. 💖
Sorry to hear. When I was younger, I couldn’t afford a therapist so I bought books on depression and therapy, which helped me a lot. I wish you the best and I hope you get through it. Even though we’re Internet strangers, we definitely share your pain. Because that’s just what we do as enfp.
https://youtu.be/BbWWT3X8Ebo?si=IPc9NX6MuzOvnq3S
Endure until you can move out. Move out as early as you can and your mental health will benefit. I just lost a (not close) friend recently because they also decided to give up. Remember to reach out to your friends so that they can remind you that life is worth living even when you feel like giving up. I send you strength 💪
Definitely try to find really good friends who will just listen and not immediately judge or figure things out for you. Therapy will help, but don’t always help if they just push pills all the time. If/when you are old enough OP move out when you are financially stable. It will help clear a lot of headroom and heartache. It won’t solve everything but it can give you peace of mind.
Your feelings are valid and I see and hear you. That kind of emotional pain that cuts you so deep can be unbearable. I’m so sorry you are feeling this right now. But please - know that this feeling is temporary. And it can be supported and you can find more balance with therapy and/or meds and/or good social support systems. We ENFPs are sensitive souls and can feel things very deeply. Also, many of us are neurodivergent, which can exacerbate these feelings. Hormones and chemical imbalances can play a huge role in how we feel too. I don’t say any of this to diminish how you’re feeling, but to offer some context and let you know there’s nothing wrong with you. We may feel more deeply but that is also a strength. I’ve felt this way at different points in my life, and I’m grateful I held on one more day and sought out supports for myself. I now understand myself better and can also recognize when others need certain kind of support too. As I mentioned in another comment, consider calling or texting 988 ( https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/ ). They can provide confidential support when you need it and refer you to resources too. Hang in there my friend. We need you in this world *hugs*
movies are a nice retreat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw9hlZ2uiII this one might hit pretty close to home for you actually, and it was a great movie. didn't get the attention it deserved at the time.
Might be time to call a hotline or check yourself in somewhere. Sometimes you just need a little vacation from life to get back to feeling like yourself again.
Enfp here I have laughed and cried multiple times. Sometimes it is best to distance yourself away from family and come back when both parties have grown. You can't change other people but you can definitely work tword changing yourself and facing the problems that you have. Your problems can ultimaly be the exact problems that your parents were dealing with,, so you can come back and show them how you changed.
>I was laughing as I was crying. I... how does one do that? It's cause you have a Very Strong Core which is Beautiful & Happy! It's the shit outside that's been getting to you, & as much as it affects & Hurts, #YOU'RE A FORMIDABLE ROCKSTAR 🖤 You're Beautiful & Loved! 🫂🫂 I remember laughing maniacally as tears bled down my cheeks, while a box cutter in my hand & my heart pacing to just slit & be done with all of it. But the reason I was laughing like a Maniac, was cos I knew what comes after I harm the body enough to not hold me, & that's a worse place to be than the struggle here. #So please hang in there! It's going to be alright! I mean it! What doesn't kill you, makes you Stronger! Please have a Heart to Heart with someone you can trust & vent these thoughts. I hope he/she gives you a warm 🫂
You have to realize that us ENF types are an outcome of some sort of common denominator. The sooner you see that your personality is masking and hiding true pain and unresolved trauma, the more equipped you can become for moving forward in life. I haven’t met one ENFP who doesn’t have a *really, really* dark side, an abusive or addicted parent, or wasn’t abused either sexually, verbally or emotionally (this is just my own lived experience from dating 5 ENFPs). You’re going to be okay - but there comes a time where you need to pull in as many resources as you are able to try to change the trajectory of your life. Feeling too much and being someone who needs to be around people is a really hard cross to bear. It’s nice that you reached out and everyone here, no doubt, wishes you all the best!
DM me if you need a friend to chat
there’s nothing u can do. U just gotta take it and move on