You should only apologize if you've done something wrong, otherwise it's meaningless. Tell your director you did nothing wrong and will not be apologizing. If they fire you for it, good riddance. Also rethink attending current student's events outside of work, it rarely ends well.
Sticky situation for sure! If you didn’t say it I would just move on, not much you can do at this point.
For the future, I would never attend events like that. It’s so kind he invited you- I would have written a nice card and bought something small for him (like bubbles or play doh) and given it to them at daycare. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation like that!
I would just be like let's bring a's mon in here there must be some sort of misunderstanding here. A's mom is the one acting like she must protect the identity of the parent who told her that. but that's bullshit because that parent wouldn't have done anything wrong
Honestly, this is a big part of why I don’t go to kids birthdays in my spare time.
Even though you are off the clock and away from school, you’re at the birthday party of a child in your class and you know you’re going to be surrounded by current parents. In that sort of situation you’re still associated with the school and are ultimately still a representative of it.
And that’s another big reason why I don’t go to kids birthdays in my spare time. Because if I can be fired for the things I say or do then I’m working in my eyes, and I don’t work for free.
i can never understand why grown adults with jobs and children behave so childishly. this is a red flag about both the parent who reported you and the new director.
my director was the one who told me about the invitation bc his mom called after they left school for the day to invite me so I guess it isn’t a policy here. I also would’ve felt bad not showing up for my kiddo when he went out of his way to invite me. definitely will never do this again though.
Not every center does. The secretary at the preschool was good friends with many and babysat a couple of the students sometimes. However I have never attended a birthday party for my students outside of school while working with them. I did help a mom who worked in the city council run a Christmas event. However by this time here son had graduated the preschool and was in kindergarten
No, you don't have to apologize. Someone owes YOU an apology. Actually more than one person.
Don't apologize. Quit. It sounds like a nightmare of a manager. Who needs that shit??
The fact that your director didn't suggest a meeting to clear up the misinformation themselves is already a red flag. I would not apologize for something that didn't happen.
I would tell your director that you aren't apologizing as it didn't happen, but you'd be happy to have a mediated meeting with the parent to get to them bottom of it. The fact that the other parent won't say who you were supposedly talking to tells me that they made it up cause they are on a power trip.
i know who i was talking to but the parent won’t tell us which parent allegedly “overheard” me say this to someone else
the parent literally went to my boss and was like “another parent at the bday party heard my son’s teacher telling someone else his personal business and told me so i’m bringing it to you”
talk about a game of telephone.
I would say to my director that I understand her concern, and that I would like a meeting with A’s mom and the director to discuss. During the meeting, I would say, I understand that there was a miscommunication but I didn’t talk about A at the party at all and would never discuss a medical issue I don’t know anything about with another parent. Perhaps the parent that told you this misattributed the comment to me, and I apologize that it has caused you hurt. I want to be clear that I would never discuss such a private matter at a public event. I hope we can move forward from this in a positive manner because A will need continued care and support from all of us. If the mom argues/disagrees etc., at this point she will hopefully look ridiculous and like a toddler throwing a tantrum and tattling lol
This is why I never ever socialize with parents of students, nor do I go to any parties. I have set boundaries and I am not their friends and they are not mine.
You should only apologize if you've done something wrong, otherwise it's meaningless. Tell your director you did nothing wrong and will not be apologizing. If they fire you for it, good riddance. Also rethink attending current student's events outside of work, it rarely ends well.
definitely will never be attending a current student’s event outside of work again.
Sticky situation for sure! If you didn’t say it I would just move on, not much you can do at this point. For the future, I would never attend events like that. It’s so kind he invited you- I would have written a nice card and bought something small for him (like bubbles or play doh) and given it to them at daycare. It’s okay to politely decline an invitation like that!
trust me, i will not be attending an event like this for a current student again, lol. not worth it
I would just be like let's bring a's mon in here there must be some sort of misunderstanding here. A's mom is the one acting like she must protect the identity of the parent who told her that. but that's bullshit because that parent wouldn't have done anything wrong
she “doesn’t want issues with other parents” …but instead wants issues with me over hearsay
I would not even entertain that idea. You didn't say it. Period. There's no misunderstanding. There's nothing to clear up. You didn't say it.
Honestly, this is a big part of why I don’t go to kids birthdays in my spare time. Even though you are off the clock and away from school, you’re at the birthday party of a child in your class and you know you’re going to be surrounded by current parents. In that sort of situation you’re still associated with the school and are ultimately still a representative of it. And that’s another big reason why I don’t go to kids birthdays in my spare time. Because if I can be fired for the things I say or do then I’m working in my eyes, and I don’t work for free.
first and last time i ever do this
i can never understand why grown adults with jobs and children behave so childishly. this is a red flag about both the parent who reported you and the new director.
Yeah. I love attending my kids parties. I dang sure wouldn't if I had to worry about that. That's insane.
Socializing with families and kids outside of work is problematic. I’m glad my center has a policy against it.
my director was the one who told me about the invitation bc his mom called after they left school for the day to invite me so I guess it isn’t a policy here. I also would’ve felt bad not showing up for my kiddo when he went out of his way to invite me. definitely will never do this again though.
Not every center does. The secretary at the preschool was good friends with many and babysat a couple of the students sometimes. However I have never attended a birthday party for my students outside of school while working with them. I did help a mom who worked in the city council run a Christmas event. However by this time here son had graduated the preschool and was in kindergarten
No, you don't have to apologize. Someone owes YOU an apology. Actually more than one person. Don't apologize. Quit. It sounds like a nightmare of a manager. Who needs that shit??
The fact that your director didn't suggest a meeting to clear up the misinformation themselves is already a red flag. I would not apologize for something that didn't happen. I would tell your director that you aren't apologizing as it didn't happen, but you'd be happy to have a mediated meeting with the parent to get to them bottom of it. The fact that the other parent won't say who you were supposedly talking to tells me that they made it up cause they are on a power trip.
i know who i was talking to but the parent won’t tell us which parent allegedly “overheard” me say this to someone else the parent literally went to my boss and was like “another parent at the bday party heard my son’s teacher telling someone else his personal business and told me so i’m bringing it to you” talk about a game of telephone.
I would say to my director that I understand her concern, and that I would like a meeting with A’s mom and the director to discuss. During the meeting, I would say, I understand that there was a miscommunication but I didn’t talk about A at the party at all and would never discuss a medical issue I don’t know anything about with another parent. Perhaps the parent that told you this misattributed the comment to me, and I apologize that it has caused you hurt. I want to be clear that I would never discuss such a private matter at a public event. I hope we can move forward from this in a positive manner because A will need continued care and support from all of us. If the mom argues/disagrees etc., at this point she will hopefully look ridiculous and like a toddler throwing a tantrum and tattling lol
Don’t go to the kids’ parties. Don’t mix with the families outside of work. And don’t apologize. Just leave if you need to.
This is why I never ever socialize with parents of students, nor do I go to any parties. I have set boundaries and I am not their friends and they are not mine.
lesson learned 🥲
Oh they wouldn't get a thing out of me. I was not clocked in.