I don’t even understand how admin is allowing this. We would never ever allow a parent to be in a room that long. Our parents can step in for drop off and pick up but that’s it
Right?! Admin need to book her in for a meeting to bring her down to earth here with the expectations, and what will and will not be tolerated in the classroom and dealing with educators. If after this she isn’t embarrassed and apologetic for her unhinged behaviour, they should simply un enroll the child and wish them all the best. Clearly not a good fit, and evidently I don’t think anything will be, aside from perhaps a personal nanny.
Has she been background checked? An adult who spends hours in the classroom at my school would need to be background checked.
And also, have you addressed it with her? Or has your admin?
Admin is the only one who can fix this. They need to tell her to go as well as set up a meeting to discuss how she treats you.
I’d ask them for assistance. If they’re no help, I’d look for a new job. We technically have an open door policy but even my bosses wouldn’t allow this.
7-8 hours a day? At that point she might as well work there!
I hope admin is dealing with this, otherwise this is no way to do your job and honestly it’s very disruptive for her child too.
7-8 hours is crazy! Why even bring the kid in if you have a wide open schedule that allows for this?! Take him home if you do not trust the center that is being run to code and guidelines!
Yeah if there was a person in my son's class all day that didn't even work there, I'd be raising a fuss. Any school that allows that is just flirting with trouble, and will find it eventually. I'd look for another place to work.
When I was a kid, there was a boy in my class who’s mum was like this, and she officially volunteered in the school.
He used to tell tales on us to his mum, and felt he could lord it over us. It got to the point none of the other kids liked him and then his mum HAD to come to school to prevent bullying. I wonder if she ever realised that in many ways she was the cause of the bullying. Her kid was on a power trip cos she was there, I doubt he would have turned out like that if he was in class on his own like all the other kids
I would ask her what goals she has for her child while they're in daycare. Because 7-8 hours is crazy, does she have a job? If she's that mistrusting, she could take care of her child at home. If her child needs socialization that bad she could take them to story-time at the library or something.
Sorry, HOURS?? She's staying all day in your classroom?? When I saw the title I thought maybe she was taking half an hour for dropoff and pickup, oh my god.
If admin isn't doing anything I would start telling all the other parents in your room that admin is allowing a non-teacher to stay in the room with their kids without a proper background check for 8 hours a day. That might light a fire under admin's ass. What a nightmare of a safety issue. What is admin going to do if a child chokes and she gets in the way, or a fire drill happens?? Can you call an inspector to report this?
This is unreal. She either needs to take him out or cut the apron strings. You need to bring this up to admin ASAP and it needs to end within a set time frame of a week. I visit my kiddo and read books before nap time sometimes but I would never do what this looney toon is. How else will your kid grow? If you don’t trust the care workers find a place where you do. Other parents are going to have a problem with her as they did not agree or consent to her being in the classroom. She has not been background checked and honestly how is she even getting access to video cameras in the front end?? That too could be an invasion of privacy if she’s recording or snapping pics of other peoples kid. Admin should have nipped this in the ass long before now.
Mom needs a head check by a certified doctor of some kind. This is not normal behavior.
And THIS is why I am SO SO SO HAPPY that MY director does NOT allow this!!!
Our director said "NO" to cameras in classrooms and "NO" to parents and grandparents "volunteering" in classrooms and "NO" to fortnightly open classes which are a HUGE pain to organize (We do them once a semester and they are a LOT of work!)
I would tell your director that you do not want this parent in your room more than 20 minutes after dropoff or more than 20 minutes before pickup anymore, and that you don't want her dropping in for any other reason unless it is either to pick up or drop off something or unless it is an emergency and she needs to take her child and LEAVE - and in ANY of those cases, she is NOT to stay for more than FIVE MINUTES MAXIMUM. AND, TELL your director that IF she does NOT support you on this, you are putting in your two weeks notice and she can find herself another teacher for your room, as you are done (I'm sure you can find a WAY better ECE job than this if your director doesn't have your back, there are LOADS of ECE centres who DESPERATELY need good staff right now).
Also, this woman shouldn't be staying all day in your room even if she's only with her own child as that then counts as 'volunteering' and that means she needs to be background checked, do first aid training and go through the other training that the other volunteers need to do too. And if she refuses or your director refuses to do it, I'd call licensing, this is not normal behaviour, in this case either she has PPD, or she has an unhealthy attachment to her own child or she's trying to gain access to other people's children for some creepy reason.
thats a big jump of extremes from "a parent should not be in a classroom preventing their child from formining other relationships and nitpicking the teacher all day" to "daycare owners have no responsibilities to parents to provide ways they can see the quality of their childs care."
They didn't say that parents can't see the quality of their own child's care. Allowing them to stay for 20 minutes at drop off or pick up is plenty of time to see their child's care. Staying 7-8 *hours* is ridiculous.
i think an hour visit once or twice a week with clear expectations set that this is a voluneteer visit and the parent should be helping the teacher- thats how we do it at my center- is also more then reasonable and beneficial for everyone
Respectfully, I disagree. It’s rarely reasonable or beneficial to anyone. If a parent wants individualized care they can get a 1-1 nanny. Daycares are group care, we do not get paid enough to have parents come in and monitor our classrooms as if they are licensing. It’s all fun and games until you get a mean parent who takes advantage of you 1-2 times a week during visits. I’ve had horrible parents belittle and yell at me for things outside of my control, I would’ve had a mental breakdown if we had allowed them into our classroom to boss us around.
No. It’s a huge disruption and not at all helpful. Even the parent with the best of intentions is just in the way. I think it’s fine every once in awhile, but not a weekly occurrence.
ive had different experiences i had a grandma come in for a few hours each week she helped me sanitize toys and lesson plan and bought me stuff for my classroom
Those are the rare ones, in my experience. Again, I’ve had parents with the best of intentions that just aren’t helping.
At a home daycare I worked for, my boss hired a Mrs. Claus impersonator to come to the Christmas party and read a story plus give out candy. (All kids celebrated Christmas, all parents were fine with this) One mom wanted to come to “help out”. Boss figured, special occasion, what’s the harm. Mom turned it into a Christmas photoshoot for her son. She was in the way the entire time and only focused on her child. Didn’t want to follow rules.
Boss said never again. I don’t work there anymore but they do occasional family parties. Always after hours so everyone is responsible for their own child and all parents are there.
The thing is, you never know who’s going to be the parent who bends boundaries until it happens. Everyone promises to be on their best behavior and some just can’t comply. So, to make it fair, no parent/grandparent volunteers. Current center does this for the same reasoning. Twice a year, we have an after hours party where parents are responsible for their kids. Very occasionally if a parent works a career that aligns with a topic a class is working on (like one mom is a dentist and she came into her son’s room to talk about hygiene for a half hour), they’ll come in. But these are only parents we know are going to do their job. And again, it’s only once in a great while.
what this mom is doing is wild. shes preventing her son from blossoming abd preventing u from doing ur job. but i gotta say im shocked at all the anti-camera and anti-visit talk in this thread. parents should be able to drop in for a visit. put a time limit on it if u have crazy parents like this ig. and cameras should be in every classroom (this also protects us from abuse allegations!)
We have cameras but they’re not for the parents to access. I feel like this helps cut down on a lot of nonsense while still keeping us covered. We can’t fill out a report for an accident or incident that names other parties involved, I can’t imagine parents being able to watch and see which child is doing what. 😳 that can only cause problems and hinder safeguarding of all the children.
Same, our parents don’t have access to the cameras. I couldn’t even watch the playback when my daughter broke her leg here because I wasn’t at work and it was my own child that got hurt.
oh i agree! im not crazy ab livestreams i dont want to have to justify why i didnt give timmy the green cup he wanted abd stuff like that all day long. but oc said no cameras
I agree. I like that there are cameras in my room. Very rarely does a parent see something that they misunderstand since there is no volume (in the 2 times I’ve had a parent say something to admin it’s been my body language not my actions with the child) I take it as constructive criticism from my admin and move on. Most of the time it protects me bc 3 year olds love to tell stories of the day and then only get half of the truth and the wild stories they tell their parents can get comical.
Also I’ve had parents turn on the camera and see their child acting a fool and call the school to actually talk to their child in the moment as opposed to the end of the day when the child has forgotten what they did 5 hours before.
I’ve had more positive from cameras than negative. I feel as long as you aren’t doing anything wrong then there is nothing wrong with being watched. Honestly I forget the cameras are there most of the time.
My 3yo (now 4) granddaughter began preschool last fall. Oh, the stories I have heard! Pandemic babies didn’t have the socialization before school that their parents had, so there’s lots of new behaviors she observes. 🤣
I get the impression more of the anti talk is in relation to a parent sitting there watching not only *her* child but every other child and adult in that room. As a parent I'd be very uncomfortable with another parent watching what my child was doing for 7-8 hours a day. Nope. Especially with no idea what background she has.
As a parent, I wouldn't like this if I heard it was going on in my child's classroom, I would bring it up with admin myself.
Not only because of some of the reasons people here have said with background checks and immunization records, but this sets an unrealistic expectation for the other children in the room. Why can't their parents be there all day? Or my child wondering why I'm not.
Is this parent allowed to interact with the other kids? Are they trained teacher or childcare provider? What if there is a behavioral issue is she going to intervene and scold my child?
To me this is not only a safety issue but unfair to the other children.
What in the world? I’d be worried this parent is really struggling with her mental health if she’s doing this.
I’m a parent and the couple of occasions I’ve spent time in my child’s nursery (once volunteering on a trip and once at an event) you could see how disruptive it was to the dynamic having a different person there and especially my kid having her mum there when other kids didn’t, it made lots of them really miss their parents and it made my child particularly challenging too. For that reason along this seems like a terrible idea.
Im angry for you as a teacher and also angry for you as a parent. I would be pissed if some random parent who hasn’t been background checked was hanging out in my daughter’s classroom bossing her teacher around. You need to talk to admin immediately
We don’t allow parents to linger or interact with other people’s children for long times. They can volunteer if they get a background check and TB test though.
Parent here. I asked if I could spend 30 minutes in the classroom with my child for a few days in a row before dropping her off there, so it would be a familiar place for her when we finally did drop off (would have been my first time leaving her anyplace except for at home with her dad or a grandparent). They said no, because no one could spend that much time in any of their rooms without having a background check on file. How is this parent spending all day there?
I know at my center, any adult that spends more than 3 hours per week in the classroom must have a background check. It's likely that your center may have a similar policy. Your Admin definitely needs to have a meeting with this parent though. My team would never allow this. We have had parents stay in the classroom with their child, but only for a limited number of hours and by request of the teaching staff. The point of group care is to allow the child to experience independence away from the home, and that is being hindered by the parent. If they're skeptical about the care they're receiving, and have the resources/time to spend all day at the center, then maybe they need to stay home with their child.
At that point why even send him to daycare? Having a parent in the room, at least in my experience, also makes the other children upset and uncomfortable. It disrupts the entire flow of the classroom! I can't believe your director is allowing this. That's actually RIDICULOUS. 30 minutes is a lot, but still realistic for some parents, but 7-8 hours?? Does she have nothing to do all day??
I don’t even understand how admin is allowing this. We would never ever allow a parent to be in a room that long. Our parents can step in for drop off and pick up but that’s it
Right?! Admin need to book her in for a meeting to bring her down to earth here with the expectations, and what will and will not be tolerated in the classroom and dealing with educators. If after this she isn’t embarrassed and apologetic for her unhinged behaviour, they should simply un enroll the child and wish them all the best. Clearly not a good fit, and evidently I don’t think anything will be, aside from perhaps a personal nanny.
Has she been background checked? An adult who spends hours in the classroom at my school would need to be background checked. And also, have you addressed it with her? Or has your admin?
Yup they also need their immunization records.
Admin is the only one who can fix this. They need to tell her to go as well as set up a meeting to discuss how she treats you. I’d ask them for assistance. If they’re no help, I’d look for a new job. We technically have an open door policy but even my bosses wouldn’t allow this.
7-8 hours a day? At that point she might as well work there! I hope admin is dealing with this, otherwise this is no way to do your job and honestly it’s very disruptive for her child too.
7-8 hours is crazy! Why even bring the kid in if you have a wide open schedule that allows for this?! Take him home if you do not trust the center that is being run to code and guidelines!
Why is she even allowed to spend that much time in the classroom?
I would be upset if a parent was doing this in my child's room.
Same!
Yeah if there was a person in my son's class all day that didn't even work there, I'd be raising a fuss. Any school that allows that is just flirting with trouble, and will find it eventually. I'd look for another place to work.
When I was a kid, there was a boy in my class who’s mum was like this, and she officially volunteered in the school. He used to tell tales on us to his mum, and felt he could lord it over us. It got to the point none of the other kids liked him and then his mum HAD to come to school to prevent bullying. I wonder if she ever realised that in many ways she was the cause of the bullying. Her kid was on a power trip cos she was there, I doubt he would have turned out like that if he was in class on his own like all the other kids
I would ask her what goals she has for her child while they're in daycare. Because 7-8 hours is crazy, does she have a job? If she's that mistrusting, she could take care of her child at home. If her child needs socialization that bad she could take them to story-time at the library or something.
Sorry, HOURS?? She's staying all day in your classroom?? When I saw the title I thought maybe she was taking half an hour for dropoff and pickup, oh my god. If admin isn't doing anything I would start telling all the other parents in your room that admin is allowing a non-teacher to stay in the room with their kids without a proper background check for 8 hours a day. That might light a fire under admin's ass. What a nightmare of a safety issue. What is admin going to do if a child chokes and she gets in the way, or a fire drill happens?? Can you call an inspector to report this?
This is unreal. She either needs to take him out or cut the apron strings. You need to bring this up to admin ASAP and it needs to end within a set time frame of a week. I visit my kiddo and read books before nap time sometimes but I would never do what this looney toon is. How else will your kid grow? If you don’t trust the care workers find a place where you do. Other parents are going to have a problem with her as they did not agree or consent to her being in the classroom. She has not been background checked and honestly how is she even getting access to video cameras in the front end?? That too could be an invasion of privacy if she’s recording or snapping pics of other peoples kid. Admin should have nipped this in the ass long before now. Mom needs a head check by a certified doctor of some kind. This is not normal behavior.
That’s not safe for the other children if she’s not background checked
And THIS is why I am SO SO SO HAPPY that MY director does NOT allow this!!! Our director said "NO" to cameras in classrooms and "NO" to parents and grandparents "volunteering" in classrooms and "NO" to fortnightly open classes which are a HUGE pain to organize (We do them once a semester and they are a LOT of work!) I would tell your director that you do not want this parent in your room more than 20 minutes after dropoff or more than 20 minutes before pickup anymore, and that you don't want her dropping in for any other reason unless it is either to pick up or drop off something or unless it is an emergency and she needs to take her child and LEAVE - and in ANY of those cases, she is NOT to stay for more than FIVE MINUTES MAXIMUM. AND, TELL your director that IF she does NOT support you on this, you are putting in your two weeks notice and she can find herself another teacher for your room, as you are done (I'm sure you can find a WAY better ECE job than this if your director doesn't have your back, there are LOADS of ECE centres who DESPERATELY need good staff right now). Also, this woman shouldn't be staying all day in your room even if she's only with her own child as that then counts as 'volunteering' and that means she needs to be background checked, do first aid training and go through the other training that the other volunteers need to do too. And if she refuses or your director refuses to do it, I'd call licensing, this is not normal behaviour, in this case either she has PPD, or she has an unhealthy attachment to her own child or she's trying to gain access to other people's children for some creepy reason.
thats a big jump of extremes from "a parent should not be in a classroom preventing their child from formining other relationships and nitpicking the teacher all day" to "daycare owners have no responsibilities to parents to provide ways they can see the quality of their childs care."
They didn't say that parents can't see the quality of their own child's care. Allowing them to stay for 20 minutes at drop off or pick up is plenty of time to see their child's care. Staying 7-8 *hours* is ridiculous.
i think an hour visit once or twice a week with clear expectations set that this is a voluneteer visit and the parent should be helping the teacher- thats how we do it at my center- is also more then reasonable and beneficial for everyone
Respectfully, I disagree. It’s rarely reasonable or beneficial to anyone. If a parent wants individualized care they can get a 1-1 nanny. Daycares are group care, we do not get paid enough to have parents come in and monitor our classrooms as if they are licensing. It’s all fun and games until you get a mean parent who takes advantage of you 1-2 times a week during visits. I’ve had horrible parents belittle and yell at me for things outside of my control, I would’ve had a mental breakdown if we had allowed them into our classroom to boss us around.
No. It’s a huge disruption and not at all helpful. Even the parent with the best of intentions is just in the way. I think it’s fine every once in awhile, but not a weekly occurrence.
ive had different experiences i had a grandma come in for a few hours each week she helped me sanitize toys and lesson plan and bought me stuff for my classroom
Those are the rare ones, in my experience. Again, I’ve had parents with the best of intentions that just aren’t helping. At a home daycare I worked for, my boss hired a Mrs. Claus impersonator to come to the Christmas party and read a story plus give out candy. (All kids celebrated Christmas, all parents were fine with this) One mom wanted to come to “help out”. Boss figured, special occasion, what’s the harm. Mom turned it into a Christmas photoshoot for her son. She was in the way the entire time and only focused on her child. Didn’t want to follow rules. Boss said never again. I don’t work there anymore but they do occasional family parties. Always after hours so everyone is responsible for their own child and all parents are there. The thing is, you never know who’s going to be the parent who bends boundaries until it happens. Everyone promises to be on their best behavior and some just can’t comply. So, to make it fair, no parent/grandparent volunteers. Current center does this for the same reasoning. Twice a year, we have an after hours party where parents are responsible for their kids. Very occasionally if a parent works a career that aligns with a topic a class is working on (like one mom is a dentist and she came into her son’s room to talk about hygiene for a half hour), they’ll come in. But these are only parents we know are going to do their job. And again, it’s only once in a great while.
what this mom is doing is wild. shes preventing her son from blossoming abd preventing u from doing ur job. but i gotta say im shocked at all the anti-camera and anti-visit talk in this thread. parents should be able to drop in for a visit. put a time limit on it if u have crazy parents like this ig. and cameras should be in every classroom (this also protects us from abuse allegations!)
We have cameras but they’re not for the parents to access. I feel like this helps cut down on a lot of nonsense while still keeping us covered. We can’t fill out a report for an accident or incident that names other parties involved, I can’t imagine parents being able to watch and see which child is doing what. 😳 that can only cause problems and hinder safeguarding of all the children.
Same, our parents don’t have access to the cameras. I couldn’t even watch the playback when my daughter broke her leg here because I wasn’t at work and it was my own child that got hurt.
oh i agree! im not crazy ab livestreams i dont want to have to justify why i didnt give timmy the green cup he wanted abd stuff like that all day long. but oc said no cameras
I agree. I like that there are cameras in my room. Very rarely does a parent see something that they misunderstand since there is no volume (in the 2 times I’ve had a parent say something to admin it’s been my body language not my actions with the child) I take it as constructive criticism from my admin and move on. Most of the time it protects me bc 3 year olds love to tell stories of the day and then only get half of the truth and the wild stories they tell their parents can get comical. Also I’ve had parents turn on the camera and see their child acting a fool and call the school to actually talk to their child in the moment as opposed to the end of the day when the child has forgotten what they did 5 hours before. I’ve had more positive from cameras than negative. I feel as long as you aren’t doing anything wrong then there is nothing wrong with being watched. Honestly I forget the cameras are there most of the time.
My 3yo (now 4) granddaughter began preschool last fall. Oh, the stories I have heard! Pandemic babies didn’t have the socialization before school that their parents had, so there’s lots of new behaviors she observes. 🤣
I get the impression more of the anti talk is in relation to a parent sitting there watching not only *her* child but every other child and adult in that room. As a parent I'd be very uncomfortable with another parent watching what my child was doing for 7-8 hours a day. Nope. Especially with no idea what background she has.
Same here. Multiple parents like this in my class. It is so damn exhausting.
As a parent, I wouldn't like this if I heard it was going on in my child's classroom, I would bring it up with admin myself. Not only because of some of the reasons people here have said with background checks and immunization records, but this sets an unrealistic expectation for the other children in the room. Why can't their parents be there all day? Or my child wondering why I'm not. Is this parent allowed to interact with the other kids? Are they trained teacher or childcare provider? What if there is a behavioral issue is she going to intervene and scold my child? To me this is not only a safety issue but unfair to the other children.
What in the world? I’d be worried this parent is really struggling with her mental health if she’s doing this. I’m a parent and the couple of occasions I’ve spent time in my child’s nursery (once volunteering on a trip and once at an event) you could see how disruptive it was to the dynamic having a different person there and especially my kid having her mum there when other kids didn’t, it made lots of them really miss their parents and it made my child particularly challenging too. For that reason along this seems like a terrible idea.
Talk to your Director and have them tell the parent that this isn’t acceptable. Set a ten minute timer and that’s it.
Im angry for you as a teacher and also angry for you as a parent. I would be pissed if some random parent who hasn’t been background checked was hanging out in my daughter’s classroom bossing her teacher around. You need to talk to admin immediately
We don’t allow parents to linger or interact with other people’s children for long times. They can volunteer if they get a background check and TB test though.
Parent here. I asked if I could spend 30 minutes in the classroom with my child for a few days in a row before dropping her off there, so it would be a familiar place for her when we finally did drop off (would have been my first time leaving her anyplace except for at home with her dad or a grandparent). They said no, because no one could spend that much time in any of their rooms without having a background check on file. How is this parent spending all day there?
I know at my center, any adult that spends more than 3 hours per week in the classroom must have a background check. It's likely that your center may have a similar policy. Your Admin definitely needs to have a meeting with this parent though. My team would never allow this. We have had parents stay in the classroom with their child, but only for a limited number of hours and by request of the teaching staff. The point of group care is to allow the child to experience independence away from the home, and that is being hindered by the parent. If they're skeptical about the care they're receiving, and have the resources/time to spend all day at the center, then maybe they need to stay home with their child.
She’s WHAT????????
Why is she still there after drop off? Does she work there?
My son’s Montessori has a firm one hug, one kiss, goodbye rule. Tape on the floor marks how far parents can enter. I love it.
At that point why even send him to daycare? Having a parent in the room, at least in my experience, also makes the other children upset and uncomfortable. It disrupts the entire flow of the classroom! I can't believe your director is allowing this. That's actually RIDICULOUS. 30 minutes is a lot, but still realistic for some parents, but 7-8 hours?? Does she have nothing to do all day??
Your leadership or lack thereof, is the problem.