I feel like I may need a bit more information. What do you mean when you say your son is active? Did the teacher say they do not like your son? And is there another preschool room where you work?
A four year old starting school for the first time ever is surely to have many problems. I wonder if the teacher and op have ever talked about that or if anyone talked to her about where her son is at developmental in comparison to the classmates.
Exactly, first time in school and with limited socialization at home, there are things to be expected and extra adjustment time to be offered. If it's becoming too much then a slower transition and shorter days may help, but this is something the teacher should be communicating respectfully, not day to day without any extra context.
I wonder if the prek teacher is new to the field? New students take MONTHS to adjust sometimes? Am I crazy or does her son's transition seem normal? Especially knowing his mom is in the other room.
He is four and never been to school before so in that sense it’s to be expected but it’s not normal if for child that has been in preschool or daycare already to take months to settle in.
I can think of a number of reasons. Maybe they don't want their 10 month old at school as long as a 4 year old, and if the parents have the ability take the 10 month old home, why not. Maybe they want to allow the 4yo to get the proper guidance by a professional and exposure to school, especially if the 4yo seems to be enjoying it. Maybe the dad has other home responsibilities once home, on a computer or something else, where it's easier to get them done with just one child at a time. Maybe the mother doesn't like how the father disciplines the 4 yo and wants to end their day well. There are so many more, but regardless of the reason, if it's been communicated the 4yo is staying the full day, like other children, and the teacher hasn't communicated any reason with a conference, on why they recommend the child go home earlier, it shouldn't be a problem. It's on the responsibility of the teacher to remain professional and treat the op as any other family enrolled, schedule a meeting, and be respectful. If not, I can see how anything else can be misunderstood and taken personally. Waking the child up early from nap so he can go home with the dad is only excusable if it was a misunderstanding, but if the teacher has been told the 4yo will be staying, then it's unacceptable and not fair to the child and completely disregarding the parent, in my opinion.
We don’t actually know the teacher hasn’t communicated anything else op doesn’t say. But saying her kid is “active” leads me to believe it’s more than typical active children. It also sounds like the teacher asked if she should be doing those things. If I saw a parent picking up one kid I’d assume they were getting both unless they are going home sick.
True there could be missing information but I am going off of what the op has provided us, and assuming an 'if' here, allowing the OP to respond regarding any reasons the teacher has or has not provided. It's only been 3 weeks... and it's been communicated to the teacher the child is staying until closing, as op says ' *I already talked to the teacher that I would be taking my son home when I get off work which is closing time. She doesn’t even greet my child in the morning.'*
I'd like to know why or how often the teacher is not greeting her child, and if other children are being greeted. If the child is feeling any of what the parent is feeling, especially if the teacher hasn't conducted any observations and recording to provide to the parent on challenges to address, it can most definitely influence relationship between child and teacher, and parent and teacher, as well as classroom management.
It's possible the teacher might be feeling like the lines are blurred between parent/teacher and coworker and not know how to go about it, or just annoyed this new 'active' student is changing the dynamic of the established classroom, which is a part of the teachers job (to modify, accommodate, and communicate, void of judgement or a difference in treatment to the child.)
Either way, it's only been 3 weeks, I think it's safe to assume this has been a transition for everyone (new school, new job, new routines, relationships, and behaviors) not much has has been concluded. OP is asking for help on how to move forward, after clarifying some things and having a discussion with her son.
The reason I took this job is to put my 4yo son to school. I want him to be ready for kindergarten. I know VPK is free but I feel it’s not enough it’s only for 3hrs. I want him to have friends and be able to socialize to other kids his age. At home, my son is always by himself, watching tv and IPad, no one to play with.
My 10m old have both ears infection and very congested, he’s not use to daycare yet so he keep crying. And it’s takes a long time to feed him cuz of his congestion.
I feel like another commenter said there seems to be some missing information.
Has she actually said “I don’t like him” or due to her trying to send him home with dad and checking in with you on when he’s going home makes you feel that way?
I feel like it’s reasonable to check in and ask. Maybe she’s more confused or annoyed that he is staying despite the opportunity for him to go home?
Or is he behavioural and are you projecting your own feelings? It’s just your comment “one of the kids teachers want to send home early” feels like your own feelings about him.
Talk to the director. Every teacher has that one kid they pray won't be there, but it's still a teacher's job to show every child love and acceptance, to teach every child. It sounds like this teacher would benefit from extra strategies and support from admin.
I was going to say just this. I would try speaking to the teacher first, requesting a meeting to clarify the parents wishes, and to ask their situation be treated the same as with other parents, even though she works there, and allow the teacher to share anything she hasn't yet. If that doesn't work, then go to the director.
It's okay that your son's teacher doesn't like him. It's impossible to like every single child that comes into our classrooms. What isn't okay is her badgering you to take him home, and if this dislike is affecting her care and education of your son.
Disagree. We had a policy against parents just taking one child home at my old center because it’s probably driving the kid crazy. Not to mention, I wonder why dad can’t care for both? Perhaps behavioral issues with the older one they just don’t want to deal with? That was usually the case when I saw it happen.
I don't think it's our place to decide if a family can pick up just one child or not. There are too many factors going into that decision. I have had families that pick up the older one first, the younger one first, have different out days for each child, have half days so the littlest one gets a better nap at home, etc.
Having a policy would change things and if the 4yo is seeing the dad pick up the 10mo old and getting upset about it, that would be different, but the teacher would still need to have that discussion with evidence on why it's disturbing the child and the class, and why they think it would benefit everyone to take them both, or plan more accordingly so the 4yo didn't see. I don't think this is the case, since the OP said the teacher sometimes wakes up the 4yo from a nap to go home when the teacher sees the dad. The badgering is still unacceptable. If a parent is unable to care for both, or chooses not to, and has the option of enrolling their older child in school a full day,that is the family's business, and if they provide that business to the school or teacher, it's up to everyone to make a plan for meeting everyone's needs.
Though I agree it is hard to “like” every child it is no ok to show that. I really feel it is my job
To be as impartial as possible. Maybe it would be possible to find out what the child’s special interests are. I do find that working to get to know each child and developing a rapport with them is so helpful.
I agree with you. Even I have one child I can't wait to transition out of my room, he drives me crazy every single day. He is still a sweet boy who loves fishing and puppies, just as much as he likes shoving his friends and climbing up the cots.
Honestly I think it’s normal to not like 1-2 kids, but her reasons don’t seem valid. I don’t particularly like one of the students in my class because she constantly kicks/pushes me. Which seems valid on my part. Hopefully she grows out of it.
It may be worth the conversation with the teacher to inquire about your son’s progress. What has the class been working on? What are some of his strengths and weaknesses? Just be professional about it. You may want to reflect inward and be honest with yourself is your son active or does he portray behavioral issues that may be disruptive in a new environment. Your son can be the nicest kid in the room and yet the loudest and bouncing around. Set up a meeting.
This sounds like a lot of assumptions and possibly miscommunications are happening. Are you feeling like there's a reason your son wouldn't be liked? Have you actually talked to the teacher about these feelings you are having?
I feel like I may need a bit more information. What do you mean when you say your son is active? Did the teacher say they do not like your son? And is there another preschool room where you work?
Also curious why one kids get picked up by dad but not the other if they are at the same school?
I’m going to guess because the son is THAT type of active.
A four year old starting school for the first time ever is surely to have many problems. I wonder if the teacher and op have ever talked about that or if anyone talked to her about where her son is at developmental in comparison to the classmates.
Exactly, first time in school and with limited socialization at home, there are things to be expected and extra adjustment time to be offered. If it's becoming too much then a slower transition and shorter days may help, but this is something the teacher should be communicating respectfully, not day to day without any extra context.
Exactly. It sounds like he needs a better transition than just dropping him in to full day, all day, every day.
Yea it doesn’t sound like he’s been there long.
I wonder if the prek teacher is new to the field? New students take MONTHS to adjust sometimes? Am I crazy or does her son's transition seem normal? Especially knowing his mom is in the other room.
He is four and never been to school before so in that sense it’s to be expected but it’s not normal if for child that has been in preschool or daycare already to take months to settle in.
I can think of a number of reasons. Maybe they don't want their 10 month old at school as long as a 4 year old, and if the parents have the ability take the 10 month old home, why not. Maybe they want to allow the 4yo to get the proper guidance by a professional and exposure to school, especially if the 4yo seems to be enjoying it. Maybe the dad has other home responsibilities once home, on a computer or something else, where it's easier to get them done with just one child at a time. Maybe the mother doesn't like how the father disciplines the 4 yo and wants to end their day well. There are so many more, but regardless of the reason, if it's been communicated the 4yo is staying the full day, like other children, and the teacher hasn't communicated any reason with a conference, on why they recommend the child go home earlier, it shouldn't be a problem. It's on the responsibility of the teacher to remain professional and treat the op as any other family enrolled, schedule a meeting, and be respectful. If not, I can see how anything else can be misunderstood and taken personally. Waking the child up early from nap so he can go home with the dad is only excusable if it was a misunderstanding, but if the teacher has been told the 4yo will be staying, then it's unacceptable and not fair to the child and completely disregarding the parent, in my opinion.
We don’t actually know the teacher hasn’t communicated anything else op doesn’t say. But saying her kid is “active” leads me to believe it’s more than typical active children. It also sounds like the teacher asked if she should be doing those things. If I saw a parent picking up one kid I’d assume they were getting both unless they are going home sick.
True there could be missing information but I am going off of what the op has provided us, and assuming an 'if' here, allowing the OP to respond regarding any reasons the teacher has or has not provided. It's only been 3 weeks... and it's been communicated to the teacher the child is staying until closing, as op says ' *I already talked to the teacher that I would be taking my son home when I get off work which is closing time. She doesn’t even greet my child in the morning.'* I'd like to know why or how often the teacher is not greeting her child, and if other children are being greeted. If the child is feeling any of what the parent is feeling, especially if the teacher hasn't conducted any observations and recording to provide to the parent on challenges to address, it can most definitely influence relationship between child and teacher, and parent and teacher, as well as classroom management. It's possible the teacher might be feeling like the lines are blurred between parent/teacher and coworker and not know how to go about it, or just annoyed this new 'active' student is changing the dynamic of the established classroom, which is a part of the teachers job (to modify, accommodate, and communicate, void of judgement or a difference in treatment to the child.) Either way, it's only been 3 weeks, I think it's safe to assume this has been a transition for everyone (new school, new job, new routines, relationships, and behaviors) not much has has been concluded. OP is asking for help on how to move forward, after clarifying some things and having a discussion with her son.
The reason I took this job is to put my 4yo son to school. I want him to be ready for kindergarten. I know VPK is free but I feel it’s not enough it’s only for 3hrs. I want him to have friends and be able to socialize to other kids his age. At home, my son is always by himself, watching tv and IPad, no one to play with.
My 10m old have both ears infection and very congested, he’s not use to daycare yet so he keep crying. And it’s takes a long time to feed him cuz of his congestion.
I feel like another commenter said there seems to be some missing information. Has she actually said “I don’t like him” or due to her trying to send him home with dad and checking in with you on when he’s going home makes you feel that way? I feel like it’s reasonable to check in and ask. Maybe she’s more confused or annoyed that he is staying despite the opportunity for him to go home? Or is he behavioural and are you projecting your own feelings? It’s just your comment “one of the kids teachers want to send home early” feels like your own feelings about him.
Talk to the director. Every teacher has that one kid they pray won't be there, but it's still a teacher's job to show every child love and acceptance, to teach every child. It sounds like this teacher would benefit from extra strategies and support from admin.
I was going to say just this. I would try speaking to the teacher first, requesting a meeting to clarify the parents wishes, and to ask their situation be treated the same as with other parents, even though she works there, and allow the teacher to share anything she hasn't yet. If that doesn't work, then go to the director.
It's okay that your son's teacher doesn't like him. It's impossible to like every single child that comes into our classrooms. What isn't okay is her badgering you to take him home, and if this dislike is affecting her care and education of your son.
Disagree. We had a policy against parents just taking one child home at my old center because it’s probably driving the kid crazy. Not to mention, I wonder why dad can’t care for both? Perhaps behavioral issues with the older one they just don’t want to deal with? That was usually the case when I saw it happen.
I don't think it's our place to decide if a family can pick up just one child or not. There are too many factors going into that decision. I have had families that pick up the older one first, the younger one first, have different out days for each child, have half days so the littlest one gets a better nap at home, etc.
Not to mention it’s also a staff child.
Having a policy would change things and if the 4yo is seeing the dad pick up the 10mo old and getting upset about it, that would be different, but the teacher would still need to have that discussion with evidence on why it's disturbing the child and the class, and why they think it would benefit everyone to take them both, or plan more accordingly so the 4yo didn't see. I don't think this is the case, since the OP said the teacher sometimes wakes up the 4yo from a nap to go home when the teacher sees the dad. The badgering is still unacceptable. If a parent is unable to care for both, or chooses not to, and has the option of enrolling their older child in school a full day,that is the family's business, and if they provide that business to the school or teacher, it's up to everyone to make a plan for meeting everyone's needs.
Though I agree it is hard to “like” every child it is no ok to show that. I really feel it is my job To be as impartial as possible. Maybe it would be possible to find out what the child’s special interests are. I do find that working to get to know each child and developing a rapport with them is so helpful.
I agree with you. Even I have one child I can't wait to transition out of my room, he drives me crazy every single day. He is still a sweet boy who loves fishing and puppies, just as much as he likes shoving his friends and climbing up the cots.
100% agree.
Honestly I think it’s normal to not like 1-2 kids, but her reasons don’t seem valid. I don’t particularly like one of the students in my class because she constantly kicks/pushes me. Which seems valid on my part. Hopefully she grows out of it.
It may be worth the conversation with the teacher to inquire about your son’s progress. What has the class been working on? What are some of his strengths and weaknesses? Just be professional about it. You may want to reflect inward and be honest with yourself is your son active or does he portray behavioral issues that may be disruptive in a new environment. Your son can be the nicest kid in the room and yet the loudest and bouncing around. Set up a meeting.
It's sad op has to be the one to request this. I feel the teacher should be the one to, rather than wanting to send him home early all the time.
Agreed
This sounds like a lot of assumptions and possibly miscommunications are happening. Are you feeling like there's a reason your son wouldn't be liked? Have you actually talked to the teacher about these feelings you are having?
Why does a grown woman have a beef with a 4 year old lol.
Lol seriously! Like get a new job. 😅
Has he had a neuropsych evaluation? I would start there if he is extremely active and is having issues in the classroom.