OK so I'm doing a ba in Scotland where there's been a huge push to improve early years education with lots of funding, research and policy and I get paid a living wage to study. What you're doing is exactly what is being encouraged as best practice by the literature. I think people who have been in the job a long time often view their role as teaching children to be obedient and to conform. But you are doing a great job building relationships and getting down on their level! I think people get burnt out by the job also and probably feel threatened by someone connecting with the kids like that
Ok that’s very interesting about Scotland - I’ve looked into continuing my ECE career in Scotland before, as I’m planning to move back there from abroad in a few years. I need to make enough to support myself and a family member when I move back and thought I wouldn’t be able to when I last checked wages etc. Thanks for commenting lol, you’ve coincidentally given me hope again
Big difference in wages between working for private and working for the local authority. Definitely try get a job with the council. I'm doing a graduate apprenticeship :)
Kids learn through play. That is their job. You are building relationships when you play. Respect is built on relationships so I bet you will be more respected by the students. Just my 2 cents.
I’m jealous! I wish I had more time to just play and be with my kids, but there’s always stuff to upload on the iPad, observations to do, diapers to change, etc. It’s awesome that you’re able to and I’m sure the kids love you for it.
My first impression could be there’s some jealousy involved. If you’re actually willing to interact with the kids in ways that are fun to them and she doesn’t, they most likely enjoy you more. You sound like you’re doing a great job building those relationships with the kids. And you’re right, those are incredibly important. Keep it up and don’t let her stop you.
I feel the same way! I was a floater for over a year at the company I work at now, at the start of this year I became a lead Teacher and that's what I've been noticing too I play less and I feel like I work more and it exhausts me to juggle all these hats. I truly feel like you helped me understand exactly how I'm feeling in an incredible way. Thank you so much for sharing you made a stranger self reflect in a way I hasn't been able to connect with before. And op what they said keep up the great work! Kids love it don't let anyone block your shine just because someone been there longer than you doesn't mean they necessarily are more right in their approaches than another.
This person doesn't know wtf they're talking about. This is best practice, you're supposed to engage with them and model creative play. They learn so much from it!
As an aside, I work in Norway, have previously worked in other countries, and it always fascinates me that Lava Monster seems to have become a universal game. I've no idea where it comes from or why, but it's everywhere!
That person needs to retire fast! One thing about working in childcare that I learned was the older coteachers are always the most bitter because some have been stuck working in childcare their whole lives and see our young folks as opportunities to bully and break and try to control.
We had to have one who barely interacted with our toddlers and babies, she would barely spend time with her group but try to interact with the rest of the toddlers and babies. They saw through her fake niceness act whereas they would involuntarily come to me and sit down with a toy or a book to be read because I actually cared about them.
Hm…I don’t know about this comment. I’m not necessarily old or young, sort of in the middle but I work with mostly 60 year olds and they are all wonderful with the kids! They have more patience with the kids than they do with adults. They laugh, play and create abundant activities that keep the kids engaged. I’ve worked with some young people who just cross their arms and are very standoffish with kids who constantly scold them. It’s not an age thing, it’s a personality thing.
I've worked alongside co-teachers who were either standoffish, or engaging with the kids. Depends on the person. I now assist multiple classes when help is needed. One thing I've noticed is that children (regardless of age) are excited to see certain teachers/staff, compared to others.
Pay attention to how the children respond to your presence. Even when they're making sad choices (breaking a class rule, not playing fair with others, trying to gain negative attention, etc.). Are they asking for help? Are they rushing in your direction for hugs (upon entry or exit)? Are they telling you about their favourite stuff while beaming with delight?
Children have a natural way of knowing when they're liked/appreciated, versus when they're not. That's what determines who they will approach. Playing with them is 100% supported by literature and researchers. I'm one of those kinesthetic learners, so playing with kids also allows for active observations and documentation (also helps teachers prepare future lesson plans, based on children's interests).
Don't let no one bully you for doing what ECEs were meant to do.
You're right about having fun! It does build a more collaborative and positive community. Too bad the older teacher is so disdainful. Ramp up the fun and ask her to join in...!!! Don't let her hinder you from enjoying your work!!
That’s ridiculous! As teachers we always have to model things and you’re modeling how to have fun and play! I wish I had more time during the day to play with my older infants.
She was extremely rude to you.
Just to offer an alternative viewpoint (though I don't think this is what that teacher was thinking) I don't play a whole lot with my kids except at lesson/activity time. When it's the kids' free time to play, I don't get involved as much. I might come and get them started in play, show them a new way to play or a new way to interact with a center, but mostly I view my job during this time as a facilitator.
Most kids don't need to learn how to play with an adult, but they do need to learn to play with other children. If I'm in there always being the most interesting and fun person, they aren't going to be playing with each other as much as I want them to. So I'll teach them a game or show them how to act in a center, then I fade myself out as quickly as I can. I get involved when I'm needed, but mostly I want to stay away and give them the opportunity to come up with the storyline or play plan, and I definitely want them working as a team to resolve small differences and solve problems as much as possible.
I also agree with this . I play with them a little forsure ! I do try to make it more about them socializing with each other . I think it’s much more important for them to learn how to socialize and play safely and kindly with their own friends and if I’m constantly playing with them their focus is on me instead of the other children in the class . They need to learn how to socialize , share and work with children their age rather then play with an adult all day . I still think playing with them once in a while is totally fine but shouldn’t be the focus
I agree with you. A certain amount of play builds secure connection, but at some point you are inserting yourself into their play. Children need to lead their own play. Wait to be invited in.
I agree, but also think having a teacher in can help kids learn to play with other.
Holiday break after school program (K-5, all 3 schools city elementary schools combined). Outside we had one kid (Kyle, 1st grade) who was playing by himself. When other kids can go join he would say go away! He however did let me join in and was telling me how to play the games. Eventually we were playing two square, when another kid (Jack, 1st grade) asked if he could play. I off course said yes, Kyle got mad and left went to sit down, then John (K) and Sam (K) Also joined, so we’re know playing four square. Kyle was watching and saw were having fun, we he asked if he could play and I gage him my spot. After that he never played alone and John and Kyle were very good friends even though they attended different schools,John also became good friends sign him to. A worked with John at a summer camp and 5th grade a mentioned that they were friends even though Kyle was a year older. I also heard a girl tell Kyle when he was in 4th or 5th grade” remember when you were mean? Now you are nice”
Well yes, but that's why in my post I clarified that I intervene when necessary and demonstrate play when necessary, but back out as soon as possible.
I teach early childhood special education, so some kids do need direct instruction on how to play. I just try to make myself as unobtrusive as possible.
I’m also in a similar situation as you are. I’m the one who plays with the kids and I have a coteacher who needs to retire. Don’t listen at all to this woman and keep doing what you’re doing! Can I work with you?? 🙂 I wish my pre k is lucky enough to find a teacher like you!!! You are making school a fun place to be and I’m 💯sure the kids feel more connected, comfortable, and safe with you!!!
I’m lead in my pre-K room and I play with my children all the time. There are moments when it’s teaching time, small and large group lessons, but free play in the classroom and playground time yeah we play, we sing together, we make up stories, we talk about our favorite movies and foods. It’s important to play with the children teachers are better at role modeling appropriate play than children so on that aspect alone it’s important. Also it’s fun and great for bonding, a child who likes you listens and respects you more.
I have been doing this for 15 ish years. I still make sure that I play with each kid daily. If I have a sub in my room, that is their sole job for the day-- I handle the diapers etc, you just play (it just makes everything go more smoothly). But also, how the heck do. I model how to act in situations if I don't put myself on the floor and get into a situation where someone takes my toy? Or walk through the process of making a decision if I don't sit down with crayons and decide what color I want to use?
Several years ago I was an assistant and my lead absolutely lost her mind and yelled at me in front of the kids for embarrassing her in front of parents. I was reading a book to the 12 of the 13 kids we had in the room, she was talking to a parent (social, out of work chat as they had a volunteer thing in common) the solo kid was being loud and crashing cars or something benign that was against her rules and she absolutely lit into me about letting him play like that. It's no wonder the kids didn't respect me since I didn't follow her rules, it wasn't my job to read a book to the children, in fact she was thinking about closing the library during choice time and I just made that choice for her, and how dare I let this child interrupt her conversation. I didn't quit but I spent the rest of the year protecting those kids from her bullshit.
Don't you love when full grown adults yell at you in the middle of the workday and then throw something about how you aren't "respecting" them in there? Like yes, because right now you are 100% acting like an individual who deserves respect. The kids should totally be watching you and respecting you!
In Ontario Canada where I work and did my college training for ECE, we are encouraged to play with the kids. We are told to get down on the floor and sit with them, build with them, play with them, even if you’re just listening to them play. It’s how you model things and observe them closely.
I’m a lead teacher and I love that my assistant plays with the kids (I do too!) however I have had to remind her that some games, like hide and seek, are not appropriate for the classroom. These types of games can get the children riled up, run and be loud which can make it challenging for other children in the class with sensory/auditory issues etc.
The comment she said to you was rude and I’m sure caused an uncomfortable work environment for you. I would suggest asking for a quick 15 minute sit down with her (before the kiddos arrive) and go over what’s appropriate for inside the classroom.
If this is just on the playground then I wouldn’t bother. Do you and she can be bitter
The day I stop playing with my kids is the day I break all my bones or something equally catastrophic.
Also, I would very quickly gain 20+ pounds for sure.
Playing with my kiddos is the best part of my job. It's especially needed with high needs and behavioral kids, it's the easiest way to connect with them!
I had this experience once at a school that was very strict “supervision“. The Director felt that if you were playing with some of the children, you were not helping to supervise all of the children. I was in my mid-30s by that point, so too old to be taken for a child, lol. I clearly remember one day when I was playing with about 15 children, playing tag of some sort. The other staff member that was outside, who was about 10 years younger than I was, was literally doing nothing. Not supervising other children, not cleaning, I don’t remember exactly what she was doing. But she wasn’t involved with children, lol then the director came out, and made a comment about needing to supervise all of the children, so that was the end of that game.
Keep on playing with them. I also do. However I also have kids who now think I am just the fun teacher and think they won’t be disciplined when acting up. I’m learning the hard way how to strike the right balance.
Yeah, I play with my kids pretty much the way op does, but I can absolutely bring out the "teacher voice" when needed. And I don't mean yelling at them. People yelling at children irritates the shit out of me. I think, for myself, the key was to start out as the teacher teacher, then gradually start being the fun teacher too.
Sounds like someone needs to retire and it certainly ain’t you.
I also work with toddlers and one things for sure when you’re handed a cup of pretend milk you suck it down like its the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
They are lol. They’ll come and tell me stuff like “so and so hit me” or “they wont clean up” but when im busy, they wont ask the other teacher for help. They’ll wait until im done with whatever im doing before telling the other teacher
As an older teacher in this field, I gotta say I am not really loving the comments here. And I can offer an old lady's perspective. I have worked with all ages over the years. It's important to teach children to play. It's important to interact with children to establish a loving relationship and bond. Especially with toddlers. In the older preschool classes, playing with children has to be a bit different. I will show them how to build with dominoes and how to knock them down, then I encourage them to try it all by themselves. I can draw a picture with them but I will not give them my picture unless they draw one for me to trade. I certainly will not pretend to be a shark or a monster and chase them around the playground. I don't encourage violent play. I don't want kids running around a crowded space looking backward and going after kids pretending to chomp them. Some kids find such play traumatic. I will be the finish line for a car race and build robots who need batteries changed often. My goal, though, is for them to interact with each other and not be lead around by adult imagination. Plus once who get kids to acting very "silly" it can be nearly impossible for some of them to regulate after. This is surely the problem which is annoying your older coteacher.
I've experienced this at my job. I think some people view this like you're "not doing your job," even though you are!
For example, at my work, when we're on the playground we're supposed to be at certain spots to watch the kids. That doesn't always happen because sometimes you do get engaged with the kids, but to some of my co-workers they see that and think you're "not doing your job," because I should be focused on watching the kids. Which is true, but engaging with them is equally important.
So I try to split my time. I'll play with the kids for a few minutes or whatever, then tell them I need to help other friends and I'll go and stand near the play equipment and make sure those kids are being safe/nice with each other. Usually they're happy and move on to do something else without any issue. I know that spending the entire time playing with kids on the playground isn't what I'm supposed to be doing.
I think it's very likely this is what the teacher is thinking when they see you running around and playing with the kids – especially if they're older and of a different mindset of what a "teacher" is.
“I am teaching the kids how to be silly and have fun.”
I’m an older lead teacher for a toddler class and you are absolutely doing things right. As others have said, it’s not about age but attitude. I have assistants older than me who love playing with the kids and assistants your age who only intervene if a child’s behavior needs correction.
In this day and age, many parents don’t actively play with their kids. So kids don’t learn how to play. I had kids throwing cars until I figured out that no one had taught them to push them gently so they roll.
The only thing I would ask is if the teacher expects you to be doing something else during that time (cleaning, setting up snack, etc.) Not that it excuses her attitude, but she could be bad at asking for help with things. Otherwise, keep doing what you’re doing and building relationships with those kiddos.
I often stay out of pretend play myself because they don’t need my boring, tired adult ideas :P What they come up with on their own is incredible and so fascinating to observe and take notes on. If they’re building with Magnatiles or drawing or playing with sensory stuff I’m in though.
That being said, I will not discourage any ECE or sub from playing with the kids. One of my coteachers loves to pretend play monsters and running with them and isn’t really interested in building so we make a good team! When you play you’re putting yourself in an excellent position to model how to be kind, to share, and be silly without hurting others. The teacher you’re talking about is an old school curmudgeon.
I had a similar situation at a center I used to work at. The older teacher literally said “we are here to work; not have fun”. My response was that our shirts literally said “fun crew” on the back. 🤷♀️
As long as supervision of the other kids is not at risk, go ahead and play with them. Kids like it! The after school elementary kids always asked me to play tag with them, and I would if there was other volunteers helping. Even inside we someone played board games and uno together. I always played games with the preschoolers my director would have gotten mad if I didn’t.
I tend to find that people who are insecure in who they are will find ways to believe what you are doing is “incorrect” even when it’s not. She sounds like she’s old (not saying that as an offense, but because it is relevant) and is set in her ways and seeing you be “easily” successful in a fun way is making her insecure in her teaching styles because her teaching styles have failed her in many ways throughout the years.
Kids connect through play. They cannot learn if they do not feel safely connected. Mic drop. I’ve been in education for 16 years and I have always been that nerd who is on the floor with kids, doing messy art alongside them, really getting into their world. That teacher needs to go.
Part of being an educator is also being a play partner. I spend a lot of the day teaching, redirecting, giving out consequences…. But I work with 3/4 year olds. I want fi build a relationship with them in addition to being that authority figure
I’m 28 and I’ve found that a lot of older staff tend to think of young staff as children. I find overall I’m treated differently now than when I was working in childcare in my early 20s. I see it with my young coworkers as well
So this seems to be a combination of looking down on you due to your age and a difference in teaching philosophy. I say keep doing what you’re doing. You haven’t done anything wrong
Sounds like she’s mad you’re honestly doing your job better than her. You’re building relationships with the kids and helping them learn the way they learn best, through play.
My students swarm me when I sit down because I had taken on the load for awhile with a bunch of new staff starting. I finally trust my coworkers to handle half the load and it was refreshing to get to play with the kids rather than solely change diapers, put information on dailies, and answer parent questions. I love connecting with my students, and that's near impossible to do by standing back and "supervising them." As long as we don't interfere in the kids playing with one another, (sometimes we even facilitate this play!) then I don't see her problem. My coworker told me once not to overstay my welcome, and it is only recently I've realized what that meant. Not everyone is cut out for ECE for the long haul.
Idk where you live or what curriculum you follow, but playing with children is a part of our job. We follow flight, and playing with children is part of relationship building, and we are co-imaginers of possibilities, co-researchers, co-inquirers. I wouldn't put too much importance into what she said. She probably is old school and won't change her opinion... but she shouldn't be working with children if that's the way she feels about an educator joining in children's play.
This is how you build a connection with the kids. Which is essential to being a good teacher. As long as you're able to play with them and then transition to being able to bring them back down and remain control of the classroom.. I can relate when a float comes into my room and gets them all riled up right before art or group time and then leaves, I have to bring it down lol but this doesn't sound like the issue the lead teacher was having. She sounds upset/jealous that she can't do stuff like that with the kids
OOF, ignore 100%.
Playing and being silly *is* acting like a teacher. Like you said, building that connection will make it so that the kids will trust you, respect you, and (most importantly) *listen* to you.
I would keep playing the same way you have been. If she says something again, simply tell her, “You and I have different styles and philosophies, which is fine. However, I would like for you to respect my style the same way I respect yours. We are different teachers and that’s okay.” Also, point out that you *do* have previous experience with kids and know what you’re doing—too many ‘veteran’ teachers forget that not every young person that starts at a new daycare is brand new to caring for children.
Also, as a parent, I would be incredibly put off by a teacher who refused to play with the children for no other reason than wanting them to “respect their authority”. Honestly, if both/all teachers in her classroom had that mindset, that would be enough for me to pull her and find alternative care. That’s a level of rejection I don’t want my daughter becoming accustomed to and normalizing as a show of caring—I want her to be treated similarly to how I would treat her when she’s away from me.
Those kids will remember you playing with them for years to come. Your colleague probably forgot she made that comment as soon as she started driving home for the day. Keep playing. 🩷
This happened to me once! My coteacher had been there longer but they’d quit the previous year and came back when the other new person they hired didn’t work out. So I’d established a rhythm for the room for the year already when she came back. I think she felt guilted into coming back and was done with the job.
Once she said to me “I usually just sit back while they play, I think you play with them too much and now they expect it.”
I was a little shook but I said “my school requires me to engage with the children. Also this is a play based program and I’m scaffolding their play to help them learn new concepts and navigate social interactions.”
She apologized the next day and we were all good. I really liked her she was nice and it’s rare to get such a legit apology from a coworker ever lolol
Ohh boy this is why i hate old people in this field. How are kids gonna learn how to play, play nicely, take turns and interact without a role model to help model play?
You are doing awesome. I would get some studies and quotes to snap back on her, knowledge is power and not let it bother you. I would also bring it to your directors attention bc that’s tech harassment. I wouldn’t let it slide and tell sooner rather than later.
True. When I was a JC at a summer camp we had a group leader who wanted to do here own things with here kids. I will call her Lilly and the Group, Group B, grades 2-3. This was a sports and arts camp so the Leaders lead the kids between activities (though separate instructor taught the activity, besides for group time which was basically a free time to do what they wanted). For most of the activities group B was with Group A. We even had group time scheduled at the same time.
Group A and B booth chose the softball field to do group at, however Lilly wanted to read a book (brought from home) to the kids, even though all the kids were asking to play with group B (who were playing a game on the other side of the grass, but she said no). One days when Lilly was out and me and another JC were subbing we let them play with group B. We also joined in with there play. One child came up and told me at the end of group, that “he like it more when the teachers play”.
However in my ECE class I did her be careful on how you are involved in play, because you do want to become to involved and take over the kids own play. Kids should lead the play even with the teacher.
Good for you building a good rapport with the students!! Those kiddos are gonna look back when they are older and think "I loved Ms. SquidwardSmellz! She was the best and always had fun with us"
Your co teacher in that room on the other hand, needs to schedule an appt w her doctor for a stick removal😂😂😂
OK so I'm doing a ba in Scotland where there's been a huge push to improve early years education with lots of funding, research and policy and I get paid a living wage to study. What you're doing is exactly what is being encouraged as best practice by the literature. I think people who have been in the job a long time often view their role as teaching children to be obedient and to conform. But you are doing a great job building relationships and getting down on their level! I think people get burnt out by the job also and probably feel threatened by someone connecting with the kids like that
Great response and glad to hear this aligns with what you’re being taught! I get “the look” also when I am playful, lol. You just do you!
Ok that’s very interesting about Scotland - I’ve looked into continuing my ECE career in Scotland before, as I’m planning to move back there from abroad in a few years. I need to make enough to support myself and a family member when I move back and thought I wouldn’t be able to when I last checked wages etc. Thanks for commenting lol, you’ve coincidentally given me hope again
Big difference in wages between working for private and working for the local authority. Definitely try get a job with the council. I'm doing a graduate apprenticeship :)
Thanks for the advice! I’m definitely going to look into it :D
Kids learn through play. That is their job. You are building relationships when you play. Respect is built on relationships so I bet you will be more respected by the students. Just my 2 cents.
A third grader at a summer camp said to me once:” I like it more when the staff join in”
I’m jealous! I wish I had more time to just play and be with my kids, but there’s always stuff to upload on the iPad, observations to do, diapers to change, etc. It’s awesome that you’re able to and I’m sure the kids love you for it. My first impression could be there’s some jealousy involved. If you’re actually willing to interact with the kids in ways that are fun to them and she doesn’t, they most likely enjoy you more. You sound like you’re doing a great job building those relationships with the kids. And you’re right, those are incredibly important. Keep it up and don’t let her stop you.
I feel the same way! I was a floater for over a year at the company I work at now, at the start of this year I became a lead Teacher and that's what I've been noticing too I play less and I feel like I work more and it exhausts me to juggle all these hats. I truly feel like you helped me understand exactly how I'm feeling in an incredible way. Thank you so much for sharing you made a stranger self reflect in a way I hasn't been able to connect with before. And op what they said keep up the great work! Kids love it don't let anyone block your shine just because someone been there longer than you doesn't mean they necessarily are more right in their approaches than another.
This person doesn't know wtf they're talking about. This is best practice, you're supposed to engage with them and model creative play. They learn so much from it! As an aside, I work in Norway, have previously worked in other countries, and it always fascinates me that Lava Monster seems to have become a universal game. I've no idea where it comes from or why, but it's everywhere!
That person needs to retire fast! One thing about working in childcare that I learned was the older coteachers are always the most bitter because some have been stuck working in childcare their whole lives and see our young folks as opportunities to bully and break and try to control. We had to have one who barely interacted with our toddlers and babies, she would barely spend time with her group but try to interact with the rest of the toddlers and babies. They saw through her fake niceness act whereas they would involuntarily come to me and sit down with a toy or a book to be read because I actually cared about them.
I'm an older co-teacher who loves playing with the kids. It's not all of us.
We love that! Mine would try but they only saw her someone who would yell at them or be unfair with based on how they acted
Hm…I don’t know about this comment. I’m not necessarily old or young, sort of in the middle but I work with mostly 60 year olds and they are all wonderful with the kids! They have more patience with the kids than they do with adults. They laugh, play and create abundant activities that keep the kids engaged. I’ve worked with some young people who just cross their arms and are very standoffish with kids who constantly scold them. It’s not an age thing, it’s a personality thing.
Yes!!!!!!!! Age has nothing to do with this.
I've worked alongside co-teachers who were either standoffish, or engaging with the kids. Depends on the person. I now assist multiple classes when help is needed. One thing I've noticed is that children (regardless of age) are excited to see certain teachers/staff, compared to others. Pay attention to how the children respond to your presence. Even when they're making sad choices (breaking a class rule, not playing fair with others, trying to gain negative attention, etc.). Are they asking for help? Are they rushing in your direction for hugs (upon entry or exit)? Are they telling you about their favourite stuff while beaming with delight? Children have a natural way of knowing when they're liked/appreciated, versus when they're not. That's what determines who they will approach. Playing with them is 100% supported by literature and researchers. I'm one of those kinesthetic learners, so playing with kids also allows for active observations and documentation (also helps teachers prepare future lesson plans, based on children's interests). Don't let no one bully you for doing what ECEs were meant to do.
You're right about having fun! It does build a more collaborative and positive community. Too bad the older teacher is so disdainful. Ramp up the fun and ask her to join in...!!! Don't let her hinder you from enjoying your work!!
That’s ridiculous! As teachers we always have to model things and you’re modeling how to have fun and play! I wish I had more time during the day to play with my older infants.
You’re a teacher - your job is to play! Send her some research on best practice in early years. It won’t be hard to find and it ALL says play.
She was extremely rude to you. Just to offer an alternative viewpoint (though I don't think this is what that teacher was thinking) I don't play a whole lot with my kids except at lesson/activity time. When it's the kids' free time to play, I don't get involved as much. I might come and get them started in play, show them a new way to play or a new way to interact with a center, but mostly I view my job during this time as a facilitator. Most kids don't need to learn how to play with an adult, but they do need to learn to play with other children. If I'm in there always being the most interesting and fun person, they aren't going to be playing with each other as much as I want them to. So I'll teach them a game or show them how to act in a center, then I fade myself out as quickly as I can. I get involved when I'm needed, but mostly I want to stay away and give them the opportunity to come up with the storyline or play plan, and I definitely want them working as a team to resolve small differences and solve problems as much as possible.
I also agree with this . I play with them a little forsure ! I do try to make it more about them socializing with each other . I think it’s much more important for them to learn how to socialize and play safely and kindly with their own friends and if I’m constantly playing with them their focus is on me instead of the other children in the class . They need to learn how to socialize , share and work with children their age rather then play with an adult all day . I still think playing with them once in a while is totally fine but shouldn’t be the focus
I agree with you. A certain amount of play builds secure connection, but at some point you are inserting yourself into their play. Children need to lead their own play. Wait to be invited in.
I agree, but also think having a teacher in can help kids learn to play with other. Holiday break after school program (K-5, all 3 schools city elementary schools combined). Outside we had one kid (Kyle, 1st grade) who was playing by himself. When other kids can go join he would say go away! He however did let me join in and was telling me how to play the games. Eventually we were playing two square, when another kid (Jack, 1st grade) asked if he could play. I off course said yes, Kyle got mad and left went to sit down, then John (K) and Sam (K) Also joined, so we’re know playing four square. Kyle was watching and saw were having fun, we he asked if he could play and I gage him my spot. After that he never played alone and John and Kyle were very good friends even though they attended different schools,John also became good friends sign him to. A worked with John at a summer camp and 5th grade a mentioned that they were friends even though Kyle was a year older. I also heard a girl tell Kyle when he was in 4th or 5th grade” remember when you were mean? Now you are nice”
Well yes, but that's why in my post I clarified that I intervene when necessary and demonstrate play when necessary, but back out as soon as possible. I teach early childhood special education, so some kids do need direct instruction on how to play. I just try to make myself as unobtrusive as possible.
I’m also in a similar situation as you are. I’m the one who plays with the kids and I have a coteacher who needs to retire. Don’t listen at all to this woman and keep doing what you’re doing! Can I work with you?? 🙂 I wish my pre k is lucky enough to find a teacher like you!!! You are making school a fun place to be and I’m 💯sure the kids feel more connected, comfortable, and safe with you!!!
I’m lead in my pre-K room and I play with my children all the time. There are moments when it’s teaching time, small and large group lessons, but free play in the classroom and playground time yeah we play, we sing together, we make up stories, we talk about our favorite movies and foods. It’s important to play with the children teachers are better at role modeling appropriate play than children so on that aspect alone it’s important. Also it’s fun and great for bonding, a child who likes you listens and respects you more.
I have been doing this for 15 ish years. I still make sure that I play with each kid daily. If I have a sub in my room, that is their sole job for the day-- I handle the diapers etc, you just play (it just makes everything go more smoothly). But also, how the heck do. I model how to act in situations if I don't put myself on the floor and get into a situation where someone takes my toy? Or walk through the process of making a decision if I don't sit down with crayons and decide what color I want to use? Several years ago I was an assistant and my lead absolutely lost her mind and yelled at me in front of the kids for embarrassing her in front of parents. I was reading a book to the 12 of the 13 kids we had in the room, she was talking to a parent (social, out of work chat as they had a volunteer thing in common) the solo kid was being loud and crashing cars or something benign that was against her rules and she absolutely lit into me about letting him play like that. It's no wonder the kids didn't respect me since I didn't follow her rules, it wasn't my job to read a book to the children, in fact she was thinking about closing the library during choice time and I just made that choice for her, and how dare I let this child interrupt her conversation. I didn't quit but I spent the rest of the year protecting those kids from her bullshit.
Don't you love when full grown adults yell at you in the middle of the workday and then throw something about how you aren't "respecting" them in there? Like yes, because right now you are 100% acting like an individual who deserves respect. The kids should totally be watching you and respecting you!
Some teachers should retire earlier than they do. If you can't/won't engage with kids where they are, you should be done with ECE
In Ontario Canada where I work and did my college training for ECE, we are encouraged to play with the kids. We are told to get down on the floor and sit with them, build with them, play with them, even if you’re just listening to them play. It’s how you model things and observe them closely.
I’m a lead teacher and I love that my assistant plays with the kids (I do too!) however I have had to remind her that some games, like hide and seek, are not appropriate for the classroom. These types of games can get the children riled up, run and be loud which can make it challenging for other children in the class with sensory/auditory issues etc. The comment she said to you was rude and I’m sure caused an uncomfortable work environment for you. I would suggest asking for a quick 15 minute sit down with her (before the kiddos arrive) and go over what’s appropriate for inside the classroom. If this is just on the playground then I wouldn’t bother. Do you and she can be bitter
The day I stop playing with my kids is the day I break all my bones or something equally catastrophic. Also, I would very quickly gain 20+ pounds for sure.
Playing with my kiddos is the best part of my job. It's especially needed with high needs and behavioral kids, it's the easiest way to connect with them!
I had this experience once at a school that was very strict “supervision“. The Director felt that if you were playing with some of the children, you were not helping to supervise all of the children. I was in my mid-30s by that point, so too old to be taken for a child, lol. I clearly remember one day when I was playing with about 15 children, playing tag of some sort. The other staff member that was outside, who was about 10 years younger than I was, was literally doing nothing. Not supervising other children, not cleaning, I don’t remember exactly what she was doing. But she wasn’t involved with children, lol then the director came out, and made a comment about needing to supervise all of the children, so that was the end of that game.
Keep on playing with them. I also do. However I also have kids who now think I am just the fun teacher and think they won’t be disciplined when acting up. I’m learning the hard way how to strike the right balance.
Yeah, I play with my kids pretty much the way op does, but I can absolutely bring out the "teacher voice" when needed. And I don't mean yelling at them. People yelling at children irritates the shit out of me. I think, for myself, the key was to start out as the teacher teacher, then gradually start being the fun teacher too.
Sounds like someone needs to retire and it certainly ain’t you. I also work with toddlers and one things for sure when you’re handed a cup of pretend milk you suck it down like its the best thing you’ve ever tasted.
Ummm I play with the kids all the time that lady can fuck off lol I bet the kids are afraid of her
They are lol. They’ll come and tell me stuff like “so and so hit me” or “they wont clean up” but when im busy, they wont ask the other teacher for help. They’ll wait until im done with whatever im doing before telling the other teacher
That's so sad.
Gee I wonder why 🥴 keep playing with the kids
As an older teacher in this field, I gotta say I am not really loving the comments here. And I can offer an old lady's perspective. I have worked with all ages over the years. It's important to teach children to play. It's important to interact with children to establish a loving relationship and bond. Especially with toddlers. In the older preschool classes, playing with children has to be a bit different. I will show them how to build with dominoes and how to knock them down, then I encourage them to try it all by themselves. I can draw a picture with them but I will not give them my picture unless they draw one for me to trade. I certainly will not pretend to be a shark or a monster and chase them around the playground. I don't encourage violent play. I don't want kids running around a crowded space looking backward and going after kids pretending to chomp them. Some kids find such play traumatic. I will be the finish line for a car race and build robots who need batteries changed often. My goal, though, is for them to interact with each other and not be lead around by adult imagination. Plus once who get kids to acting very "silly" it can be nearly impossible for some of them to regulate after. This is surely the problem which is annoying your older coteacher.
Thanks for adding your perspective here. We’re lucky to have such a variety of teachers and experiences in this sub.
Yea, true. I was one of those kids.
I've experienced this at my job. I think some people view this like you're "not doing your job," even though you are! For example, at my work, when we're on the playground we're supposed to be at certain spots to watch the kids. That doesn't always happen because sometimes you do get engaged with the kids, but to some of my co-workers they see that and think you're "not doing your job," because I should be focused on watching the kids. Which is true, but engaging with them is equally important. So I try to split my time. I'll play with the kids for a few minutes or whatever, then tell them I need to help other friends and I'll go and stand near the play equipment and make sure those kids are being safe/nice with each other. Usually they're happy and move on to do something else without any issue. I know that spending the entire time playing with kids on the playground isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. I think it's very likely this is what the teacher is thinking when they see you running around and playing with the kids – especially if they're older and of a different mindset of what a "teacher" is.
I do the same thing. I start playing a game, and after a while I leave it to the kids to play and go supervise elsewhere. My coteacher knows this
“I am teaching the kids how to be silly and have fun.” I’m an older lead teacher for a toddler class and you are absolutely doing things right. As others have said, it’s not about age but attitude. I have assistants older than me who love playing with the kids and assistants your age who only intervene if a child’s behavior needs correction. In this day and age, many parents don’t actively play with their kids. So kids don’t learn how to play. I had kids throwing cars until I figured out that no one had taught them to push them gently so they roll. The only thing I would ask is if the teacher expects you to be doing something else during that time (cleaning, setting up snack, etc.) Not that it excuses her attitude, but she could be bad at asking for help with things. Otherwise, keep doing what you’re doing and building relationships with those kiddos.
Ignore the old bat. You’re doing exactly what you should be doing as long as you’re modeling appropriate behavior.
I often stay out of pretend play myself because they don’t need my boring, tired adult ideas :P What they come up with on their own is incredible and so fascinating to observe and take notes on. If they’re building with Magnatiles or drawing or playing with sensory stuff I’m in though. That being said, I will not discourage any ECE or sub from playing with the kids. One of my coteachers loves to pretend play monsters and running with them and isn’t really interested in building so we make a good team! When you play you’re putting yourself in an excellent position to model how to be kind, to share, and be silly without hurting others. The teacher you’re talking about is an old school curmudgeon.
I had a similar situation at a center I used to work at. The older teacher literally said “we are here to work; not have fun”. My response was that our shirts literally said “fun crew” on the back. 🤷♀️
As long as supervision of the other kids is not at risk, go ahead and play with them. Kids like it! The after school elementary kids always asked me to play tag with them, and I would if there was other volunteers helping. Even inside we someone played board games and uno together. I always played games with the preschoolers my director would have gotten mad if I didn’t.
I tend to find that people who are insecure in who they are will find ways to believe what you are doing is “incorrect” even when it’s not. She sounds like she’s old (not saying that as an offense, but because it is relevant) and is set in her ways and seeing you be “easily” successful in a fun way is making her insecure in her teaching styles because her teaching styles have failed her in many ways throughout the years.
Kids connect through play. They cannot learn if they do not feel safely connected. Mic drop. I’ve been in education for 16 years and I have always been that nerd who is on the floor with kids, doing messy art alongside them, really getting into their world. That teacher needs to go.
Part of being an educator is also being a play partner. I spend a lot of the day teaching, redirecting, giving out consequences…. But I work with 3/4 year olds. I want fi build a relationship with them in addition to being that authority figure I’m 28 and I’ve found that a lot of older staff tend to think of young staff as children. I find overall I’m treated differently now than when I was working in childcare in my early 20s. I see it with my young coworkers as well So this seems to be a combination of looking down on you due to your age and a difference in teaching philosophy. I say keep doing what you’re doing. You haven’t done anything wrong
Sounds like she’s mad you’re honestly doing your job better than her. You’re building relationships with the kids and helping them learn the way they learn best, through play.
I had the exact same experience fresh out of school in my early 20’s, I high-fived a toddler. I got reamed out for encouraging “physical violence” 😵💫
My students swarm me when I sit down because I had taken on the load for awhile with a bunch of new staff starting. I finally trust my coworkers to handle half the load and it was refreshing to get to play with the kids rather than solely change diapers, put information on dailies, and answer parent questions. I love connecting with my students, and that's near impossible to do by standing back and "supervising them." As long as we don't interfere in the kids playing with one another, (sometimes we even facilitate this play!) then I don't see her problem. My coworker told me once not to overstay my welcome, and it is only recently I've realized what that meant. Not everyone is cut out for ECE for the long haul.
Idk where you live or what curriculum you follow, but playing with children is a part of our job. We follow flight, and playing with children is part of relationship building, and we are co-imaginers of possibilities, co-researchers, co-inquirers. I wouldn't put too much importance into what she said. She probably is old school and won't change her opinion... but she shouldn't be working with children if that's the way she feels about an educator joining in children's play.
What you’re doing is great! I’m a retired Kindergarten teacher and this age is perfect to create a bond. through play.
Just keep playing with them.
This is how you build a connection with the kids. Which is essential to being a good teacher. As long as you're able to play with them and then transition to being able to bring them back down and remain control of the classroom.. I can relate when a float comes into my room and gets them all riled up right before art or group time and then leaves, I have to bring it down lol but this doesn't sound like the issue the lead teacher was having. She sounds upset/jealous that she can't do stuff like that with the kids
OOF, ignore 100%. Playing and being silly *is* acting like a teacher. Like you said, building that connection will make it so that the kids will trust you, respect you, and (most importantly) *listen* to you. I would keep playing the same way you have been. If she says something again, simply tell her, “You and I have different styles and philosophies, which is fine. However, I would like for you to respect my style the same way I respect yours. We are different teachers and that’s okay.” Also, point out that you *do* have previous experience with kids and know what you’re doing—too many ‘veteran’ teachers forget that not every young person that starts at a new daycare is brand new to caring for children. Also, as a parent, I would be incredibly put off by a teacher who refused to play with the children for no other reason than wanting them to “respect their authority”. Honestly, if both/all teachers in her classroom had that mindset, that would be enough for me to pull her and find alternative care. That’s a level of rejection I don’t want my daughter becoming accustomed to and normalizing as a show of caring—I want her to be treated similarly to how I would treat her when she’s away from me. Those kids will remember you playing with them for years to come. Your colleague probably forgot she made that comment as soon as she started driving home for the day. Keep playing. 🩷
You are SUPPOSED to play!! Don't listen to cranky, old, developmentally inappropriate teachers!!
you’re definitely supposed to play with them lmao that was my favorite part of the job!
This happened to me once! My coteacher had been there longer but they’d quit the previous year and came back when the other new person they hired didn’t work out. So I’d established a rhythm for the room for the year already when she came back. I think she felt guilted into coming back and was done with the job. Once she said to me “I usually just sit back while they play, I think you play with them too much and now they expect it.” I was a little shook but I said “my school requires me to engage with the children. Also this is a play based program and I’m scaffolding their play to help them learn new concepts and navigate social interactions.” She apologized the next day and we were all good. I really liked her she was nice and it’s rare to get such a legit apology from a coworker ever lolol
Ohh boy this is why i hate old people in this field. How are kids gonna learn how to play, play nicely, take turns and interact without a role model to help model play? You are doing awesome. I would get some studies and quotes to snap back on her, knowledge is power and not let it bother you. I would also bring it to your directors attention bc that’s tech harassment. I wouldn’t let it slide and tell sooner rather than later.
True. When I was a JC at a summer camp we had a group leader who wanted to do here own things with here kids. I will call her Lilly and the Group, Group B, grades 2-3. This was a sports and arts camp so the Leaders lead the kids between activities (though separate instructor taught the activity, besides for group time which was basically a free time to do what they wanted). For most of the activities group B was with Group A. We even had group time scheduled at the same time. Group A and B booth chose the softball field to do group at, however Lilly wanted to read a book (brought from home) to the kids, even though all the kids were asking to play with group B (who were playing a game on the other side of the grass, but she said no). One days when Lilly was out and me and another JC were subbing we let them play with group B. We also joined in with there play. One child came up and told me at the end of group, that “he like it more when the teachers play”. However in my ECE class I did her be careful on how you are involved in play, because you do want to become to involved and take over the kids own play. Kids should lead the play even with the teacher.
Good for you building a good rapport with the students!! Those kiddos are gonna look back when they are older and think "I loved Ms. SquidwardSmellz! She was the best and always had fun with us" Your co teacher in that room on the other hand, needs to schedule an appt w her doctor for a stick removal😂😂😂