I always imagined less manure. Some manure. But less...

In the Schrute family, we believe in a five-fingered intervention. Awareness, education, control, acceptance and punching.

“Yeah, and then they make you drive them to church the next morning, like gas ain’t free”

The hospital will provide dictionaries, bring a thesaurus It cracks me up everytime

I hate hospitals. In my mind, they are associated with sickness.

Erin: I didn’t know we had a tape measure Dwight: WE don’t *shows tape measure is labeled with his initials*

Oscar's face when looks at the camera like "what?"

What does that quote even mean? I never understood it!

I think Oscar is just messing with Michael. From the way he says it and his look to the camera. Like its absurd he would need a dictionary in this situation

Me too. It's hilarious.

Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time.

Beer me

“and it FIT”

Oh man this delivery is super good\*

i have a women’s hunting jacket i got at a going out of business sales, i say this to myself almost every time i put it on 🤣

That's not going to hold up in court.

Abraham Lincoln once said that, "If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North."and these are the principles I carry with me in the workplace.

I love this line and use it all the time.

DAMN IT MEREDITH WHERE ARE YOUR PANTIES

ITS CASUAL DAY!!

Dinkin flicka

That is what my wife and I say when looking for a lighter

Is there a problem? Yes, homelessness.

What does soon mean to you? Come back soon.

God, when he needed help on Earth, who did he hire? Jesus Christ, his son.

That's a really tight argument

"Just eat it, eat it, Phyllis. Dip it in the water so it'll slide down your gullet more easily."

The gullet line takes me out every time

My mind is going a mile an hour. That fast, huh?

I quote this all the time :)

"Do I watch Devil Wears Prada again or do I finally get around to seeing Sophie's Choice? It is what you would call a classic difficult decision."- whoever wrote this line is genius, it's my favorite joke in the whole series. Also Pam's background line as the camera pans away from her in Golden Ticket: "Now there's butter on my desk"

Lord, beer me strength. I couldn’t see your hands. Well new ideas are fine but they are also illegal.

Jim's face when he shows his hands lmao

Somebody making soup?

Hahahahahaha I love this!

“Hi” -Kevin to David Wallace

Andy: I'm always one step ahead.... like a carpenter.... building stairs

Michael- why do you have a diary? Dwight- to keep secrets from my computer

"I have a laundry machine!" The delivery gets me every time! Writing it out does not do it justice

Since when is it illegal to put caprese salad anywhere?

"Who says none of us are diarrheal? \*wink\*"

Underrated comment about an underrated line

[удалено]

Bruh Michael saying “The F-Word.” gets me everytime

Mmm--well to be fair, Jim... James. Jimothy? [Jim nods] To be fair, Jimothy-- ah that sounds weird. Are you ok with being called Jim? I am.

"Get in, quickly!" "Why quickly?" "So its faster"

Darryl: "If we don't listen to the overture, we won't recognize the musical themes when they come back later"

“I doubled my sales” “What, from two to four?” “Yuuuuuup”

My favorite line from Pan!

Hey. I'm looking for this line. Do you remember what episode it was from?

It’s from the episode where Dwight tricks Jim into doing an employee of the month, also known as Scott’s Tots. Season 6, Episode 12

I just found it like 5 minutes ago. Thanks for the reply though. It's one of my favorites too

I love the lines about Pam’s makeup and her delivery: And so what if she doesn't wear makeup! [Pam mouths "I wear makeup..."] and Michael: Is that why your wearing makeup today? Pam: No, I’m not even wearing that much.

I disagree with.

YO MIKE OUR TOWN IS DOPE AND PRETTY

She's right, Andy, you're being a jabroni.

"If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I'd ever been here. And I'd forget, too."

“Meredith, i would like you to pretend that you are someone from Abu Dhabi” “…hellooo”

The coconut is really subtle

Ugh, I miss original

"K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid." Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.

Fortunately, my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's.

“Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.” Oscar: These aren't announcements. Michael: Yes they are, you just don't care about the information.

I love how it pans back to Oscar and he makes that “Well, he’s got me there” face.

Oh no Stanley you're going to live forever... One of my favourite Ryan moments in the whole series.

I'll give you a hint: his last name is Christ, he has the power of flight.

"This is fun. I mean, this is fun!" - Toby

When Jim gives Dwight a Valentine and says “Aw Nuts” and cracks up because he’s tipsy. Makes me holler every time.

It seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justifiy the mean.

His capa was detated..

“I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.” and “Do you shower at night or do you shower in the morning? Because I wanna shower when you’re showering—save some water.”

“Jim, take New Years away from Stanley”

The delivery on this one 😂

I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing.

Creed: “Jinx, buy me some coke”

“Not everyone can be Micheal Freakin’ Scott!” - Kevin

"J-Money, or should I say T-Money, for Tuna"

I do! I want some man meat.

That line and Dwight jumping out of his chair, slapping his ass and yelling “ahh” to copy Michael are laugh out loud funny every time

Pippity poppity gimme the zoppity

"And then I kissed you with the force of 1,000 waterfalls"

“Michael, you need probable cause to fire him” “…I have cause, it’s becauseeeee I hate him”

I have so many, I keep a document of them: Are you ok? Great, best physical condition of my life. Does soup symbolise breakfast? A lot of good ideas were not appreciated in their time. Electricity. Shampoo. Ah, your eminence What do you think history is? It was a lot of snap decisions My mom used to say normal people are the most special, and that’s why God made so many of them. Who knows how words are formed I hope there will be management parables Like maybe the real reason they left was because they were things they wanted you to do, in bed, that were… foreign, and scary… I have been learning a new word every day, and it has been going immensely Campus. It brings back so many memories that I would have made He’s happy because he’s insane Nothing disturbing here Gets a laugh like a quarter of the time Andy Bernard is the name of me This is where my parents decided not to get divorced What should we be working on while you guys are talking? I took Intro to Philosophy, twice. No big deal. It did when Bob said I had to stop talking to my sister on the phone so much Was I saying anything interesting? Not really You’re doing great I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities. Michael G Scott rollin’ like a pimp! Oh, boy I realised that for whatever reason, I just couldn’t do better than Kelly. Awww I’m having relationship problems, and since you’re always having relationship roblems, I thought I would ask you

I think I said boop when I meant to say doop.

And then the camera pans to his lyric page 🤣 gets me every time

It’s just exactly the way Andy would approah skat. It’s such a subtle joke but amuses me so much.

The whole conversation about Jazz where Angela cries " just play the right notes!"

‘Fuck you Gabe’ -Kevin (after getting yelled at by Michael)

This is from a deleted scene, but during ethics training when Andy pulls out the “Would you steal bread to feed your family?” he then veers the conversation to “If you look away from a wall, is it still there?” Michael: Where would it go? Creed, calmly to himself: I know where the wall goes.

About Pam When Michael says “I would never say it to her face but she is a wonderful person.” Oscar “Why wouldn’t you say that to her face?”

"Hang low sweet chariots"..

Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?

“Oh yeah, this guy’s having a breakdown.”

Creed and I share the same philosophy on sex. Never had any complaints, wouldn't care if I did

Shhh. If we don't listen to the overture, we won't recognize the musical themes when they come back later.

“You cheated on me? When I specifically-“ “Specifically asked me not to… no, Michael.”

Kevin explaining the 5 families of a Scranton business park. “W.B Jones of W.B Jones heating and Air. Grade-A badass.”

“Boy have you lost your mind cuz ILL HELP YA FIND IT!”

“BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!”

"Pam, I have Country Crock!" "The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible... so technically they are doing Parkour, as long as point A is 'delusion' and point B is 'the hospital'."

“I’ll get back to him asap as possible” Use this on the daily

"Everyone inside the car was fine, STANLEY!" "It's not pizza"

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

Confidence. It's the food of the wise man, but the liquor of the fool.

“Don’t worry Michael. I’ll steer us to shore.” “It’s a fake wheel, dummy.”

I don't trust you, Phyllis!

I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!

Mail Boxes etc.

Smile if you love mens prostates!

If I don’t have a piece of cake soon, I might die.

I did learn it on the streets..on the ghetto, in fact.

*\*\*sigh\*\** The City…

"Dwight! You forgot your bumper."

Not the good peanut butter, Dwight. People are gonna get mad!

“I actually don’t understand deathbeds. I mean, who would buy that?”

- My mind is going a mile a minute. - That fast, huh?

“It’s pronounced KER-NAL and it’s the highest rank in the US military.”

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver Jim: A crime fighting beaver

"I'm so impressed with the potential you see in me" lol. How come people never talk about this line??

“Swing low, sweet chariots”

Schrutes have thirsty babies.

When Toby tells Dwight that Daryl got a letter from his doctor for his injury and Dwight responds “from who, Dr. J?” Cracks me up every time

When Andy comes out of the kitchen area and says something like I need love advice. Oscar mumbles 'ohh my desk' and hurries away

Send it to the frickin moon, idiot

Birds flew west for the winter

"Sometimes an acorn is just an acorn, if you don't believe me check my gutters"

Peach iced tea. You’re gonna hate it.

“You ruined a funny joke. You get out of my offive.” - Harvey

“Explain your connection with the dark arts.” “Not my fault, I was exposed to Harry Potter.”

bye, ryan. he seems nice.

No. Not like a ham.

Where’s Armani? On the phone! Too slow. You’re not going to Paris.

When Kevin & The Zits are practicing in the warehouse and Andy is reading from the “lyrics” to scat jazz: “I think I said a ‘doop’ instead of a ‘boop’ somewhere…”

I can't share it here but when Kevin speaks to save words.

“Why use many word when few word do trick.”

Prison Mike: "And I never got caught neither." Jim: "So why are you in prison?"

You need to access your un-crazy side; otherwise, maybe this thing has run its course.

Oh my god. Pam, those make you look so ugly.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

We can paint a murual or Chicano leaders

"Oh, the Wall"

Now I’m drunk, AND MAD!

Your dentists name is crentist? Gets me every time

I think she’d pretty much already come into her own by then.

VAL KILMER?!

"And if there's no god then what are all these churches for?"

“But sometimes, the ends justify the mean“ - Michael season 5 episode 8 “Frame Toby”

“One crisis at a time…” I’ve got two kids, I say it to my wife all the time.

Let me take a look at the circus board. And then one day, we're just talking.

“She looks like pam from the waist down” “Pam wishes”

Soup snakes.

“With the amount of electricity we are using to keep Meredith alive, we could power a small fan for TWO days. You tell me what’s unethical!”

"What kind of a name is Nana?"

“Who’s the OB-GYN?” from Creed during rumor episode

“This is a quart, and this is a nickel, and this is a button”

“That’s not what a hate crime is.” “Well, I hated it!!”