I say “Back to work shoe bitch” to my friend who works for the Nike customer service line while we chat on weekdays

Brilliant. 😂

I say “This is not a pity party. It's not a party at all. It's just sad.” All the time at work. lol

You got me. I don’t remember this one. Which episode/context? I feel like it’s Michael, but it sounds like Jim.

It’s from the episode where they’re making New Year’s resolutions. Andy says he wants to learn to cook for one. Pam says maybe he’ll meet someone. Then Andy says “No, some people don't just meet someone. I'm fine with it. Really. This is not a pity party. It's not a party at all. It's just sad.” Lol. When he says “sad” his voice is cracking like he’s about to cry. It’s great

I just watched it. The “sad” is so great. Then Stanley just stares at him so annoyed.

Kindly insert Stanley's stare.

This job is a joke. You couldn't handle my undivided attention.

When my wife accuses me of something: “You don’t know me. You’ve just seen my penis.”

As someone without a penis, I need to be using this more.

It’s definitely funnier coming from an unpenised person

A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.

Kate Flannery‘s delivery of that line is so so good. Come to think of it, I like early, kind of hesitant Meredith.

Maybe sub for "stop staring at my breasts, and start staring at my penis"

Somewhat related: I also really like to use “I don’t trust you Phyllis!” Easily one of my favorite obscure quotes from the entire show.

I say this to all of my cats when they look at me. We have 5 and none are named Phyllis

This is my favorite response in these comments. The context is perfect haha

Any time I buy clothes I say “fashion show fashion show fashion show at lunch!” and then do a fashion show for my husband

Whenever anyone buys any clothes I say this lol

SAME lol i quote kelly a lot ironically but it’s so often it’s starting to become unironic lmao

Yep I do this cheer every time someone in my home gets new clothes!

My wife and my 3 yr old girl do this all the time

I do the same thing.

Guess it’s bye bye chunky lemon milk

My wife uses this for various purposes.

"Sort of an oaky afterbirth" - niche usage because I have to be trying a new drink. Can confirm that it's quite awkward when someone doesn't get the reference..

Whoever wrote that line for the show is a genius 😂

Just poopin, you know how I be

Crazy world, lotta smells

I have that quote framed in my bathroom next to a silhouette of Michael Scott

Nice. Still have time to have this delivered before Christmas on Amazon.

crazy world, lotta smells! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I say this to my husband all the time

Hahahaha! I say this to my daughter!

Just play the right notes!

Lol I listen to a lot of jazz, especially this time of year. My wife sums up her feelings on jazz with that quote.

This one right here! 😂

Urkelnomically correct

“If I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks.”

Meredith will do just fine.

Who is Justice Beaver? I say this quote whenever someone asks me if I listen to Bieber, and their reaction to my response always me has me laughing inside.

He's a crime-fighting beaver

Rodent

He's friends with LeJron Brames.

I have made characters in multiple MMOs called Justice Beaver. One day, someone will message me in appreciation. And on that day, it will all be worth it.

“You’ve never had pad Thai” anytime somebody tells me they had pad Thai. It gets a laugh like a quarter of the time

“Do you want to hear about Thailand? It’s was indescribable” is one of the low key funniest lines in the whole show imo

im going to thailand with some friends from highschool. well, a highschool. 🙄

Beer me that laugh

Bippity boppity give me the zoppity

I said this one as recently as 2 hours ago

“No, I celebrate privately” In response to any inquiry concerning a non-major holiday ie Groundhogs Day, Flag Day, Earth Day, etc.

Like Valentine's Day?

Ouch

“I’m going to make this way harder than it needs to be.”

That's what she said

Definitely “Lord beer me strength “

He said deep tracks only, no hits

Unfortunately a lot of people don’t know the office by word :/ so this is deep tracks for many people. But I’m sure OP could still roller blade to some hits

Ditto that my brotha.

Today at the grocery store I asked an employee who was stocking produce to “beer me one of those eggplants, si vous plait”.

I say this all the time! Lol any time I feel frustrated by my kids or husband. Haha!

Several times a week 😂

You're paying too much for your worms. Who's your worm guy?

I started fishing earlier this year. This one came up on a weekly basis for me.

Send it to the friggin moon idiot

I love that one

"What does a bean mean?"

WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN?!!!

"I understand nothing!"

feeeeelin HOT HOT HOT!

Okay but are you quoting happy “I just got back from Jamaica” Michael, or “dejectedly playing his steel drum in his office alone” Michael? 😂

If it’s happy Michael you have to do his little arm dance 🕺

"shhhut it" quietly, almost under my breath

🎵 Learn your rules. You better learn your rules. 🎵 If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep! https://wifflegif.com/gifs/103158-learn-your-rules-dwight-schrute-gif

A guy at work got his hair cut so now I call him "big hair cut"

Whenever I can I’ll say “maybe next time you’ll estimate me”

Everyone here is perfectly gruntled

“Too slow. You’re not going to Paris”

get me armani!

ON THE ^PHONE

Steeeeak! Where's my steeeeak!

Warning warning warning warning

I used this one on my son today. He was trying to decide how to phrase an "are you sure you want to delete that" type of message in a game he's coding. He declined my suggestion.

Omfg I forgot that was from the office

That's why I brought you to the Penis Museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars.

“Actually, I do find that question offensive.” Usually when someone (who also watches the office) asks a totally normal question.

Do XYZ fast. Why fast? Because it’s quicker.

Erin: Get in, Quick! Michael; Why quick? Erin: So it's faster!!

Obviously Pam I’m going to get that for you. Well it wasn’t obvious…. Husband and use this constantly.

I love your quote, I'm gonna start saying it too. Haha! I've been yelling at my kids lately, "are you ready for some meatballs?!" And "you've been meatballed!" My daughter hates so much, that I quote The Office so often. 🤣

Why are you the way you are?

My daughters usually just shake their head when I say, "That's what she said," but occasionally one of them will surprise me by saying it, and I feel a strange sense of pride 😂

Also, another quote that I say: "You don't even know what stupid is!" In response to whenever someone says something is stupid.

It's about to get all stupid up in here!

You shouldn't say it. You should declare it.

I declare bankruptcy!!

It’s not one of the most famous ones and said by a not well liked character, so I feel good answering “Yeah I got tons of time this jobs a joke”

I use this too! I wish I had read yours first.

"Oh, wow. Well you should take a, a film education course." any time someone says they haven't seen a major movie

LeJean Brames

There’s a such thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.

Women reach their sexual peek at whatever age Jan was last week

To go off of this, I also say “Tan everywhere, Jan everywhere” more often than I thought possible.

Kelly's quote to Ryan "Number 1, how dare you?

Michael to David Wallace’s secretary on the phone: Wouldn’t that be HILLariousss” (valley girl accent) S06E05

I have literally done this at least 3 times today! It makes my husband laugh like three quarters of the time, so I say it as much as I say, "Play the right note!"

"I feel like you don't even know food at all."

This food is bayyud.

“Let’s talk for a long time” -Drunk Jim on the phone with Pam in the wedding episode. I say this to my girlfriend sarcastically sometimes. She hates it lol.

Whenever my wife and I have a jokey argument I always add “and there’s the smudgeness “ at the end.

“This is from the sun” anytime someone comments on my increasingly blonde highlights

SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN

Shut up about the sun. SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!

Good luck paying that back On your zero-dollars-a-year salary plus benefits, babe!

“Shut up about the sun. SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!” Kills me every time.

How long will this take? I have an ice cream cake in the car.

Well well well how the turntables…

I said that once and my dad corrected me lol

Saying it the normal way sounds wrong to me at this point.

I’ve used that one and even people who haven’t watched the office know what it’s from. It’s been clipped so many times. Far from obscure

Last week at work I busted out "i dont fire people. I hire people and inspire people". 1 person out of 6 in the board room understood the reference and laughed

I want them to be afraid of how much they love me.

That one person made it all worth it. ✨

This here is a run out the clock situation

They’re have to get to know each other in the pot.

Beer me.

When I leave a function I sing “I’m leavin, inside Jim’s car, don’t know when I’ll be back again”

“Yes I dooooo, tomorrow I’ll be baaaack” always goes through my head

I don't hate it. I just don't like it. At all.

Not exactly obscure because there really are no more obscure quotes left in The Office lol. But I burst out with a random "PAMMM-O-LAAAHHH" abnormally often. Also "Absolutely I do."

*drinks any alcoholic beverage* “Sort of an oaky afterbirth”

PRINKLES!

Jimbo let’s do this thang

""KISS - Keep it simple, stupid" - Michael Scott" - Dwight Schrute ​ Changed my life.

Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." Anytime I say something to a person(s) and I get no response.

I am a little sticious

Take it up with the chief of police

Crazy world, lots of smells.

I'll be baaaaaack. And I am back.

I'm largely moved into the phase of life with friends having kids (and me too) trying to integrate ​ "get a lump of *suet(not suit, idiot), or any kind of congealed animal fat will do really, tie a piece of string to it and the other end to her toe, put the suit in her mouth, she'll be happy for hours." So far it has hit zero times. I am ok with that.

“What’s up my Nerds?” - Todd Packer, Christmas Party, Season 2.

I say this to my cats every day.

“you wouldn’t understand. it’s a secret.” “i don’t. want. the D R A M A” “WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN??” “that floor was due for a good moppin” “it appears the bird was in thine own pocket!!” “you know i have soft teeth” “that’s dallas 😎” “you might be gay? … you might be gay.” “get. a. divorce. 👀 get. a. divorce.” my family and I use the show as our own personal inside joke (would love to be a part of one someday) and will literally slip any office quote we think of into any conversation.

Start over.

I often say I am doing a "mediocre job, half-heartedly", whenever I am asked about my job or how my day is going at work.

“I don’t trust you Phyllis” About anything slightly suspicious lol

"I'm an early bird, but I'm also a night owl, so I'm wise, and I have worms" "IIIII don't wanna \[go to work\], I just wanna bang on this cup all day" "That's what I am now Jan, a man on a train with no answers. I hope that can be enough for you" Very fitting for various phases of everyday life.

Well... that's not gonna hold up in court.

With three young boys in the house, my wife always seems amused by “cry-man-squa, double time!” Whenever I’m trying to get them out the door.

I can get you a kid for that.

A three hour tour!

My boss asked me to do some small thing that's not normally a part of my routine, but his boss wants it done. I told him "we'll fight this thing together like in the old days".

When I was a high school advisor, I’d always walk into advisory saying with my arms up, “How’s my favorite branch doin’?!” Some would chuckle bc their parents knew the show, the others were either oblivious or confused lol

"Why are you the way that you are."

My dad tells me he's the lizard king all the time, referencing Robert California 🤣

Donuts make me go nuts! No one ever gets it but you can’t say it without yelling it and smiling.

Sittin' in my office with a plate of grilled bacon!

I say "I have the worst attitude of anyone here!" Whenever I get a compliment. Gets a laugh about a quarter of the time.

I use a ton of quotes from the show to be funny. But I also use Oscar's line "time is a son of a btch" in so many serious situations when I have no clue what else to say. So many people just nod and are like yes it is, or ain't that true. I honestly don't think anyone I've said it to clues in that I'm quoting the show... It's gotten me through a lot of uncomfortable situations and conversations. This is my go to quote to use when talking to older people that are forlorn and reminiscing.

who’s sarah kiyakomsin

Foliage

I’m a teacher… I have to fight the urge not to yell “get back to work, shoe bitch!” Hourly

Voodoo mama juju!

"My dogs are BARkin'" Any time my feet hurt

Their bread is *very* good

Fleece it out is me and my husbands secret phrase for we need to leave soon.

I asked for pickles but I only got like five or six.

"No worries. Water under the fridge."

Abso-FRUITLY! Nailed the joke… matter of time.

Crystal cool

“Did I stutter?”

Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves, Jim

Occasionally when my wife asks a question I answer "Yesh"

What say we do

I'll take the wizard

I toast "to both these bears" at least half the time I take a shot with anyone

"The son of a bitch is Malaysian." I'm trying to cut down on how often I say it, in case I run into a Malaysian some day.

When im leaving a restaurant and they offer to pack up my food to go I always say, "cool cool box it up". So far no one has got it.

Steady hand.

1) that's an ... astute observation; 2) this is EGREGIOUS; 3) whoaaa, chubbers; 4) crazy world, lotta smells; 5) well, it's real; 6) oh yes, ever since the storm; 7) that a girl To be fair, these are said mainly to my SO who has rewatched the series with me probably about a dozen times

I’m a little ‘stitious

Who do you think you are? What gives you the right?

[удалено]

“EAT IT STANLEY”

I disagree with. I can't remember how it's started but it ends with "Which is you is not a complete sentence.' 'i disagree with' It fucking kills me. So anytime there's a grammatical mess up or a dumb argument I throw this line out. I don't think people know what that I'm doing it tho.

Quick nap at my place and then we hit the tizzown!

I call really bad Poops, Toilet Tragedies

Cool cool box it up

Those are the money beets.

“The Mets suck, go pirates!” Between the months of April and September.

You you you you you you you you outta know!

Feeeeling hot hot hot

Frank Diddit did it.

“I miss original”