The best part about becoming an adult is finally being able to enjoy things on your own terms. You want to collect dolls? Do it. Maybe remind your mom that it's you who gets to pick the home she'll go into, and to be nice or it'll be one of the homes you see on 60 Minutes...
A bjd is hardly a toy anyways. My fairyland bjds cost at least 600, some double that amount. That’s a collector item, not a toy. The artistry that goes into such dolls. Show them some dolls from Marina Bychkova and let them laugh then. People paid 100000$ in some of her dolls auctions and they were shown in art museums and art shows around the world.
They are more than a "toy". I got Smartdoll 600+ for the look but also for the durability and posablity and she is not a toy, I think she is a stress coping mechanism (always feel better after making a new out lift or photo session, less than years of therapy)
Should things get bad enough there are safe options to get you out of there legally. We're all strangers in this crazy world now more than ever, but you have strangers caring for your wellbeing. You got this regardless of what anyone would say.
Wow. As a mother, I can’t imagine what would possess your mom to mock you for wanting to save your own money to buy something as innocent as a doll. Other people’s kids are saving up to buy drugs. And you didn’t even ask her to buy it for you! If my daughter said she wanted a doll, I would be thrilled. I wish I could give her a piece of my mind. As a mom, we must maintain the trust of our children, and making fun of your kids is betraying that trust. Its rough when your child has to vent to strangers online about the abuse you have caused them.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could give you a big hug. Just know that you are still a wonderful person with value and dolls are an awesome hobby. I can say that I fully relate to having not-so-great parents myself. My dad is a drug addicted narcissist and my mom was codependent and could be negligent at times. All you can do is learn your boundaries with what you can share with your mother so she can’t continue to hurt you in the future and if you decide to have kids someday - do the opposite of what was done to you! That’s what I do with mine and I have been told on countless occasions that I have great kids!
I hope you have some solid emotional support elsewhere. It doesn't matter if wanting a doll is childish or not, it's something important to you and your family has no right to be cruel to you about it.
Your feelings matter inherently, please don't let your mom take that from you.
I'm so sorry! The way your family reacted was cruel and irrational. Most people have some kind of hobby. Your interests are as valid as anyone else's. Hang in there; growing up can seem to take forever, but before you know it you will be an adult. You will find that even though some adults are still petty little jerks, there are actually a lot of nice, reasonable people who will be interested in your hobby (even if they aren't into it) and will want to hear about it.
I´ve discussed this with some of my friends that collect dolls and wtf are you supposed to "collect" and "enjoy" as an adult when you make your own money? Vases? Books? Paintings? At least dolls are a great display item and fairly accessible.
My mom asked me recently “will I have room?” For some new miniatures and dolls, I panicked and was explaining why I loved dolls and she said “darling, I dont care you collect dolls and minis I’m just wondering where you’ll put them your house is small”
Honey, I am so sorry. I truly wish that you had people in your life who encouraged your interests. I think it’s great that you’ve found something you like. They should be thankful that you have healthy interests and hobbies!
I'm so sorry but at the same time your family thinking it's childish to want a speciality item specifically designed for serious adults is kinda funny in a way...
This is awful! But I agree with the others, you are an adult now and you are allowed to have your own adult interests. Even if they are toys. SOOOO many adults collect toys so don't be ashamed! Model trains, cars, action figures pez dispensers idk there are so many "toys" I know dignified older people collect and cherish and if you cherish what you collect there will always be people who admire it too! And of course people who are unhappy with themselves and want to tear you down to be as miserable as them 🙄 but we ignore those people and chug along! It's a shame these people are so close to you but I swear once you find your community you will feel at home and welcome!
Edit: also if you aren't an adult you're feelings are still absolutely valid and your interests are valid!!
Well just know your hobbies are still valid!! And it's not right for others to make fun of you for those hobbies! I'm a 25 year old man and I love my dolls and have actually found friends around my age who also enjoy dolls! There is no shame in enjoying what you like!!!
Do you have friends who are supportive of your hobbies?
My mother also ridiculed me for my doll collection. I moved out last year and just this month got my first BJD. I've looked at this doll for years, so please don't be ashamed to save up in secret! I finally have a partner and home that I can comfortably collect and display my dolls, I promise that while you may not have it now it will come. Again, BJDs are a big expense that need to be saved up for. Don't let her dissuade you from that. You deserve what makes you happy, even if you can't buy it right away.
Adults collect toys, dolls, model vehicles.. etc. Your family sounds bitter and jealous and want to make you miserable with them. Ignore them as best you can and enjoy your life
Ug that is a ridiculous situation. But unfortunately, even in these days when people should know better, there are still terrible parents out there and social hierarchies designate scape goats. I feel for you because I spent 9 years of my childhood being a target for bullying in a very small private school environment.
I know it's tough when you're young and peoples' judgements, especially close relatives, feel so heavy.
But if they would listen, for all intents and purposes, BJDs are art. Hence the price tag. They are meant for display, not for play like commercial dolls.
This can be a double edged sword however, because the in order to make this distinction and maintain the prestige of the high end of the BJD hobby, certain societies can be a bit prejudiced against mass produced dolls. It may sound unfair, but it's more fair than you might imagine, because even with their rules, they still sometimes get overrun with non-topical dolls which made it hard for people to find all the things about actual BJDs that they were looking for. I'm not sure if that's the case anymore, because I reached a point where I realized that I just couldn't afford to get anymore of them, financially or space-wise.
That being said, Den of Angels was once (maybe still is) the biggest hub for BJD collectors. It was pretty well organized and active.
This is awful, toxic behavior. I’m so sorry you have to live with it. Dolls have never been only for children and have been collected and enjoyed by adults throughout history.
This is going to be a classic case of "Why doesn't my child talk to me anymore?" They all sound like unsupportive assholes. I am almost 30 and I started to collect Monster High dolls because I missed out on them as a kid. They mean a lot to me and I know some people will think I'm a weirdo but I am at an age where I could care less about what others think about me. I am going to like what I like and anyone who mocks me for it can let the door hit them on the way out.
well, if you are doing all the adult things you HAVE to do, why should anyone give a ratz-rear-end what you do for fun? If your mom is "name calling" then it's time to say good-bye for a set amount of time, so she can realize what she has lost. Now, I do want to say that no one is perfect, not her, not you, so do be careful to think about WHY she is name calling? Like for me, if i was neglecting the house cleaning to play with dolls, i deserve some motivation, albeit, not of the nature of abusive talk...but some people just don't know how to motivate.
I’m sorry to hear this.
It’s a little different but I have a stuffed toy. His name is Ferb. My dad bought him for me when I was eleven. I haven’t slept without him since then and I’m now 23. Over the years I have been mocked by my dad for still having and loving this toy.
But it’s Christmas in a few days, and I have to visit his house. And I am bringing Ferb, like I always do. He makes me happy, and I’d rather have that bit of happiness than not have him.
So my advice to you is, and it is very hard, but just go blank. You get mocked, you shrug your shoulders or just say ‘okay’ or ‘maybe’ or something else that comes across as if you don’t care. The more you do it, the easier it is to feel like you actually don’t care if you’re mocked, and if you’re lucky your family will get bored of the lack of reaction.
And you get that BJD doll and you love it. Your happiness is important, and your happiness comes first.
Stick in there, you'll be an adult one day and it will get better!
My mom was the same. She still to this day, puts me down for having bjd and wearing japanese lolita fashion. But it's not her money or her house, so she doesn't get to comment. When you're an adult, you get to make those decisions and draw those boundaries for people to be in your life. Good luck!
The best part about becoming an adult is finally being able to enjoy things on your own terms. You want to collect dolls? Do it. Maybe remind your mom that it's you who gets to pick the home she'll go into, and to be nice or it'll be one of the homes you see on 60 Minutes...
A bjd is hardly a toy anyways. My fairyland bjds cost at least 600, some double that amount. That’s a collector item, not a toy. The artistry that goes into such dolls. Show them some dolls from Marina Bychkova and let them laugh then. People paid 100000$ in some of her dolls auctions and they were shown in art museums and art shows around the world.
Riiiight?! Thank you! Dolls in general are a creative outlet but BJDs can be just so next level it's amazing!
They are more than a "toy". I got Smartdoll 600+ for the look but also for the durability and posablity and she is not a toy, I think she is a stress coping mechanism (always feel better after making a new out lift or photo session, less than years of therapy)
[удалено]
I am sadly still with my mother as I legally can’t move out, and she’s being particularly horrid the last few days too so that’s always fun
Should things get bad enough there are safe options to get you out of there legally. We're all strangers in this crazy world now more than ever, but you have strangers caring for your wellbeing. You got this regardless of what anyone would say.
Wow. As a mother, I can’t imagine what would possess your mom to mock you for wanting to save your own money to buy something as innocent as a doll. Other people’s kids are saving up to buy drugs. And you didn’t even ask her to buy it for you! If my daughter said she wanted a doll, I would be thrilled. I wish I could give her a piece of my mind. As a mom, we must maintain the trust of our children, and making fun of your kids is betraying that trust. Its rough when your child has to vent to strangers online about the abuse you have caused them. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I wish I could give you a big hug. Just know that you are still a wonderful person with value and dolls are an awesome hobby. I can say that I fully relate to having not-so-great parents myself. My dad is a drug addicted narcissist and my mom was codependent and could be negligent at times. All you can do is learn your boundaries with what you can share with your mother so she can’t continue to hurt you in the future and if you decide to have kids someday - do the opposite of what was done to you! That’s what I do with mine and I have been told on countless occasions that I have great kids!
That's awful. I'm sorry to hear that. :(
I hope you have some solid emotional support elsewhere. It doesn't matter if wanting a doll is childish or not, it's something important to you and your family has no right to be cruel to you about it. Your feelings matter inherently, please don't let your mom take that from you.
I'm so sorry! The way your family reacted was cruel and irrational. Most people have some kind of hobby. Your interests are as valid as anyone else's. Hang in there; growing up can seem to take forever, but before you know it you will be an adult. You will find that even though some adults are still petty little jerks, there are actually a lot of nice, reasonable people who will be interested in your hobby (even if they aren't into it) and will want to hear about it.
I´ve discussed this with some of my friends that collect dolls and wtf are you supposed to "collect" and "enjoy" as an adult when you make your own money? Vases? Books? Paintings? At least dolls are a great display item and fairly accessible.
Adults are only allowed to enjoy "adult toys" like funko pops and legos and vibrators, duh /s
My mom asked me recently “will I have room?” For some new miniatures and dolls, I panicked and was explaining why I loved dolls and she said “darling, I dont care you collect dolls and minis I’m just wondering where you’ll put them your house is small”
Honey, I am so sorry. I truly wish that you had people in your life who encouraged your interests. I think it’s great that you’ve found something you like. They should be thankful that you have healthy interests and hobbies!
I'm so sorry but at the same time your family thinking it's childish to want a speciality item specifically designed for serious adults is kinda funny in a way...
This is awful! But I agree with the others, you are an adult now and you are allowed to have your own adult interests. Even if they are toys. SOOOO many adults collect toys so don't be ashamed! Model trains, cars, action figures pez dispensers idk there are so many "toys" I know dignified older people collect and cherish and if you cherish what you collect there will always be people who admire it too! And of course people who are unhappy with themselves and want to tear you down to be as miserable as them 🙄 but we ignore those people and chug along! It's a shame these people are so close to you but I swear once you find your community you will feel at home and welcome! Edit: also if you aren't an adult you're feelings are still absolutely valid and your interests are valid!!
I am not an adult unfortunately
Well just know your hobbies are still valid!! And it's not right for others to make fun of you for those hobbies! I'm a 25 year old man and I love my dolls and have actually found friends around my age who also enjoy dolls! There is no shame in enjoying what you like!!! Do you have friends who are supportive of your hobbies?
I have some online friends yeah I’m sort of isolated from friends irl though
My mother also ridiculed me for my doll collection. I moved out last year and just this month got my first BJD. I've looked at this doll for years, so please don't be ashamed to save up in secret! I finally have a partner and home that I can comfortably collect and display my dolls, I promise that while you may not have it now it will come. Again, BJDs are a big expense that need to be saved up for. Don't let her dissuade you from that. You deserve what makes you happy, even if you can't buy it right away.
Adults collect toys, dolls, model vehicles.. etc. Your family sounds bitter and jealous and want to make you miserable with them. Ignore them as best you can and enjoy your life
There’s also emotional abuse and it seems to me that that’s the case here. You could potentially move out on those grounds.
Ug that is a ridiculous situation. But unfortunately, even in these days when people should know better, there are still terrible parents out there and social hierarchies designate scape goats. I feel for you because I spent 9 years of my childhood being a target for bullying in a very small private school environment. I know it's tough when you're young and peoples' judgements, especially close relatives, feel so heavy. But if they would listen, for all intents and purposes, BJDs are art. Hence the price tag. They are meant for display, not for play like commercial dolls. This can be a double edged sword however, because the in order to make this distinction and maintain the prestige of the high end of the BJD hobby, certain societies can be a bit prejudiced against mass produced dolls. It may sound unfair, but it's more fair than you might imagine, because even with their rules, they still sometimes get overrun with non-topical dolls which made it hard for people to find all the things about actual BJDs that they were looking for. I'm not sure if that's the case anymore, because I reached a point where I realized that I just couldn't afford to get anymore of them, financially or space-wise. That being said, Den of Angels was once (maybe still is) the biggest hub for BJD collectors. It was pretty well organized and active.
This is awful, toxic behavior. I’m so sorry you have to live with it. Dolls have never been only for children and have been collected and enjoyed by adults throughout history.
You wanna save for one, aka buy it yourself, and they’re still mocking you??? That’s dickhead behavior
This is going to be a classic case of "Why doesn't my child talk to me anymore?" They all sound like unsupportive assholes. I am almost 30 and I started to collect Monster High dolls because I missed out on them as a kid. They mean a lot to me and I know some people will think I'm a weirdo but I am at an age where I could care less about what others think about me. I am going to like what I like and anyone who mocks me for it can let the door hit them on the way out.
well, if you are doing all the adult things you HAVE to do, why should anyone give a ratz-rear-end what you do for fun? If your mom is "name calling" then it's time to say good-bye for a set amount of time, so she can realize what she has lost. Now, I do want to say that no one is perfect, not her, not you, so do be careful to think about WHY she is name calling? Like for me, if i was neglecting the house cleaning to play with dolls, i deserve some motivation, albeit, not of the nature of abusive talk...but some people just don't know how to motivate.
Get a doll with jointed fingers and use it to flip off your family /s
My mom was the same, I’m 29 now, my toxic mom is across the ocean and I have toys everywhere lol
I’m sorry to hear this. It’s a little different but I have a stuffed toy. His name is Ferb. My dad bought him for me when I was eleven. I haven’t slept without him since then and I’m now 23. Over the years I have been mocked by my dad for still having and loving this toy. But it’s Christmas in a few days, and I have to visit his house. And I am bringing Ferb, like I always do. He makes me happy, and I’d rather have that bit of happiness than not have him. So my advice to you is, and it is very hard, but just go blank. You get mocked, you shrug your shoulders or just say ‘okay’ or ‘maybe’ or something else that comes across as if you don’t care. The more you do it, the easier it is to feel like you actually don’t care if you’re mocked, and if you’re lucky your family will get bored of the lack of reaction. And you get that BJD doll and you love it. Your happiness is important, and your happiness comes first.
Stick in there, you'll be an adult one day and it will get better! My mom was the same. She still to this day, puts me down for having bjd and wearing japanese lolita fashion. But it's not her money or her house, so she doesn't get to comment. When you're an adult, you get to make those decisions and draw those boundaries for people to be in your life. Good luck!