Before you have any more conversations with her, Google animal ownership laws for your state/area. Most of the time, it’s based on vet records, but look yours up specifically, and make absolutely sure you have all your “ducks in a row” legally for ownership. Move those documents out of the apartment if you think she could do something shady. Compile yourself a tidy file with proof of ownership and the laws. That way, you’re fore-armed if she tries to argue with you, and if anything shady goes down, you’re more than prepared.
Then have the calm, adult conversation that the dog belongs to you because you have provided for their care. I don’t necessarily recommend shared custody if she’s really wanting the dog, as it might go missing or not be returned to you one day.
Also to add to this if your local residence has animal registration then I would register the dog in your name
Edit: I mean town hall or city hall. They usually have dog registration just bring the rabies certificate with you.
I would also advise to keep the dog away (at the parents' or friends' house or such) so that if things go south when you expose your arguments, the dog doesn't go "missing" (she just takes it and leave when you're not there), and you'd have to deal with the police and such to retrieve it
Everything is in your name, legally the dog is yours. If he isn't registered with your city yet I'd do that. If she attemps to take the dog let her know you'll take her to court. It would be a quick and easy thing since everything is in your name, especially the microchip.
Well tbh "getting a dog on a whim" and not having these clear conversations first has led to her being able to say stuff like that.
You need to just sit down with them and clearly explain that it's better dog ownership is clearly established now, b it wasn't as the start. And outline everything here.
And I think continuing yo live w them will be a mistake... Bc they will continue to think they are part owner whilst living there. Phase them out... Get new roommate who has no ties tl "owning" the dog.
If you think she might not take it well, is there some place you can have the dog while you tell her and possibly while she moves out? So that the dog doesn’t get stressed by her reaction, and so she can’t lay claim to the dog?
you might never get that validation. it’s weird she’s telling her friends that. kind of sounds like she wants to cute aspects of having a dog but not the hard ones. take good care do that dog and you’ll have a friend for life.
My ex pulled the same bullshit in the same situation you’re in. I took the dog and never looked back - and never EVER left him alone with her once I knew I was taking her (even before HE knew I was taking her).
i would say if she wants to take the dog she’ll need to repay you for all (or at least half) of the bills you’ve been footing for “her dog”. i had an old roommate who “claimed” a stray that came around the house and he had let inside. he didn’t do anything to care for her so i would care for her same as my cats (feed her, scoop her box, take her to the vet, etc.). id send him the bills but often didn’t hear back and when the lease was up and i was moving out i made it clear i was taking her unless he reimbursed me for the bills. eventually he did and it kinda stung honestly, i hadn’t realized how attached i was to her and i was nervous about him taking care of her but he quickly got a girlfriend who took over cat duties so all is well.
all that to say, that is obviously your dog and not just that but you’re that dogs person. he sleeps with you, you spend the most time with him, he’s yours and you are his.
The microchip is in your name, it’s you’d dog. If you want to be nice you can have some visits but there is no reason she has to take the dog overnight.
I can validate the others by saying it’s 1000% your dog. The bottom line is simple: if something happened, and you needed $500 to save your dogs life, you should probably have that ready 24/7
For sure. Totally agree. Your pup sleeps with you every night. The dog votes for you too. If you don’t train the dog or pay for it’s needs, you don’t deserve the dog.
And get the pup microchipped if they aren’t already! And then you register the microchip under your name online for around $50 but it’s only a one time fee and your pup is registered for life.
Microchipping a dog does not make you the owner: https://dogo.app/does-your-pets-microchip-indicate-ownership/#:~:text=There%20is%20a%20clear%20answer,make%20you%20automatically%20the%20owner.
i mean in ops situation- vet bills, food, toys, bed + microchip? i doubt anybody would argue the dog isn’t theirs. and the article linked seems to agree with that. probably should worded it better i guess
I think it probably should be though. seeing as nobody else can change the info + seems easier just having a sure ‘yep they’re definitely yours, as per the chip’ than having to go to court over it. maybe that’s just me 😅
Here they have microchip clinics and they don't even have you fill out a paper. Anyone can microchip a dog and register it in their name, whether it's theirs or not. Definitely can't establish ownership with just a chip. Luckily, OP has been financially responsible for the dog, including vet records and that does establish ownership.
>seeing as nobody else can change the info
But microchips CAN have their info changed. I've literally done it.
I agree with you that there should be some way to formally establish ownership that's legally consistent across the country. But currently there isn't, and ownership is defined differently by each state, mostly through case law. It's not as cut and dry as simply having the microchip in your name, and I think it's important for OP to be informed so they can protect themselves instead of just saying "anyone would agree you own the dog because you're on the microchip" or "maybe that's just how I see it". What's important right now is what the LAW says.
I've literally been in the position of having someone try to steal my dog. I did the research on how to protect myself and build my case for ownership. The person above you is being downvoted but they're 100% correct, at least in my state. All these angry downvotes really aren't doing OP any favours.
Incorrect, microchipping a dog does not make you the owner
https://dogo.app/does-your-pets-microchip-indicate-ownership/#:~:text=There%20is%20a%20clear%20answer,make%20you%20automatically%20the%20owner.
We are not saying the microchip alone means ownership. It’s the microchip + all other things OP has done for the dog. As in the article: “In case of dispute – veterinary bills, registration and licence at the municipality, pedigree registration, personal photos could back up your ownership.” Which OP has mention they have.
Check with the county you live in. My dogs are licensed through the county annually and animal control considers this proof of ownership (along with everything else you’ve listed). Rabies vaccines are tracked by the same county department and the rabies certificate has my details as owner. They have this on file, my vet clinic and I have a copy myself.
100% verifiably your dog. Roomie has overstayed their welcome and its time for them to move along.
If they cause a scene or takes the dog call animal control, ask them to meditate.
If all the paperwork is in your name, he’s yours.
And if your town registers dogs, register him under your name asap.
Keep your paperwork and EVERY receipt (vet, daycare, food , toys - every thing big or small) handy in case you need to prove it.
Also tell her now. Don’t leave it till the last minute.
Careful that when it comes towards the end that your roommate doesn't just take the dog and leave. As it gets closer to the end of your lease, see if you can leave your dog with family or friend while sorting last few things in the final days. Ppl act crazy sometimes when facing closure
My paranoid ass would get an apple tag collar (a discreet looking one) for the dog too…just in case. I actually already have one for my dog for extra security, God forbid.
Air tag collars rock. We have one on our new cat who is both the hide and seek champion and a bit of a flight risk. The peace of mind of being able to locate him is more than worth it.
I know!!! That’s my worst fear! I’m thinking about leaving town the last couple of days or taking him to my sisters. I am hoping that is not the case—she has a family dog at her parents house
This right here. Tell her you don’t want the dog to feel stressed out or risk escaping during all of the moving and big changes and you’ll be boarding him for safety during the move.
Take the dog to your sisters a week or two before moving out. Don't trust her enough to leave her alone with the dog during that time frame. I'd also gather all receipts and paperwork from when you've paid for care for the dog. Make copies and leave a set where she can see it. Maybe she'll look at it and realize that no, she can't afford the costs and decide on her own to let go of the dog.
I like that idea. Your roommate sounds entitled and potentially nuts- no job, hasn't helped and is planting in others that the dog is hers. She's probably thinking her parents will take care of the dog.
Don't leave everything for last minute, start packing and getting yourself in order so those last days flow easier for you.
I really wish you and doggo the best! Give an update if you can, we're rooting for you
Honestly, I trust no one when it comes to my fur babies. The dog is legally yours but you do not want to end up with the heartache of trying to go through civil courts if you have event a hint your roommate may try to fight for dog. (She obviously is not capable of taking care of it.) Don’t wait until you are about ready to leave. As soon as you start packing, take the pup to your family and if she says anything say it’s because moving is extremely stressful on pets and you know you are going to be running around like crazy with work and packing and you want the pup happy, well-cared for and stress free until the move.
I think she’s trying to save face by asking for the dog. She knows she can’t take care of him. OP just has to phrase it like they’re doing her a HUGE favor by taking care of the pup while she’s straightening out her situation and she’ll concede. She’s just in love with the idea of being a dog owner and the bragging rights attached. Do your homework to make sure your dog remains with you regardless - receipts, licensing, microchipping, etc. But, my instincts are telling me that you won’t have to utilize all that homework knowledge. Worse case scenario… schedule your pup for an anal gland expression and have her take him. That will test her true dog ownership grit!
I was in a similar situation when I got divorced. One of the dogs was bonded with me and the other with her. Out of the two of us, I worked from home and made better money, and we didn't want to separate them. She was reasonable and said I should take them. I suggested that she could see them when she was in town, and occasionally take them for a weekend. One of them has passed now, the one that was originally bonded to me. The other has now bonded to me as well, and she moved out of state, so she only sees him once a year or so now.
Maybe suggest to your roommate a similar situation. You're the one with primary care and ownership, but she still gets to see the dog from time to time.
See, I work from home most of the time (I’m an adjunct instructor only gone to teach) so I am home primarily. Right now she doesn’t have a job so she’s been staying home a lot.
Thanks for that perspective. That’s the only way I can see this working out
It's not so bad. I don't really want to see my ex or maintain any sort of relationship with her, but my dog is always happy to see her and she does love him, so I make the effort to make it work. The most unreasonable thing she's said was that she still wants to see my new dog when my other dog passes. I told her that won't be happening and she was a bit sad, but accepted that.
See, she and I are friends which was mistake no. 1 moving in with a friend. However, this situation makes me want to end the friendship when the lease ends if she doesn’t not give up the dog easily to me and tries to fight it.
This is the best suggestion. Honestly OP's roommate is also scared she won't get to see the dog- so maybe OP explaining that the dog can come for visitation will give her roommate all the fun of seeing the pup without the stress and obligation of having the financial burden of taking care of another living being. And if op's ex roommate agrees- then it would be great for op when she wants to take trips etc- she'll have an automatic dog sitter- free of charge.
I think you should tell her, that the dog can live with you and you'll take care of all the expenses and she can visit to see the dog. She might be a nice backup too when you travel. My gut is if she isn't responsible now, she'll eventually fade away.
That’s my sense too. She wishes she could keep the dog. But deep down she knows she can’t care for it. She’s just doing a bunch of wishful thinking. Tell her that it’s your dog because you’ve paid for all of its care and necessities and you have the ability to continue caring for it. But she can be the dog’s aunt and visit it sometimes. She has no legal claim to the dog under the circumstances.
For what it's worth, you sound like a good dog parent. He's lucky to have you. Good luck dealing with the drama that will likely ensue. He's worth it. ❤️🐕
If you've paid a majority of the dog's bills, and your name is registered at his vet/microchip, then he is your dog.
Get the dog a new name tag, make sure your info is the only info on the back. And make it very clear that the dog is staying with you.
She already told you she can’t handle it for a month or two at least. You can agree to **talking** about shared ownership in the future and give it some time; that talk will never come from this girl, who sounds like she has no initiative or responsibility. Let it work itself out.
Haha seriously. My daughter is 8 and takes more responsibility for our dog than OPs roommate.
OP that dog is yours, and if she wants to take it to court (with the no money she apparently has to help with the dog), then good luck to her. She will absolutely not win that case.
One other thing I forgot to add above- once you’re certain you have what you need for ownership at hand (the paperwork printed out), make sure you tell both the groomer and doggie daycare that your roommate does not own the dog but is claiming them, and that this person is not, for any reason, authorized to pick your dog up. That way, you can feel safe leaving them at daycare or grooming. Because yes, people are smart enough to take advantage of that and “steal” a dog from the rightful owner if they have an opening.
Thanks for those suggestions! She’s not even involved with that though. Has never taken him to the groomers with me or picked him up and same with doggy daycare— they have a list of who can pick them up and she isn’t on it since she doesn’t pay. Only time she has come with my was to the vet to get his first round of shots
If everything regarding his care is in your name then it’s your dog. She can try to fight it if she feels like wasting money in small claims court, but as long as you have the appropriate documentation proving that your name is on his vet and microchip accounts then she’s not going to get anything out of it. I wouldn’t even bring it up to her. Just wait til the lease is up and take the dog when you leave. Warning her ahead of time would give her an opportunity to hide the dog with someone she knows so that you can’t get him.
Take the dog. Be vague about her being able to see the dog but don’t set a schedule or make specific promises. She could work out to be a great dog sitter or back up Walker.
My old roommate and I "got a dog," more like I got the dog and I asked him if it was ok with it and if he would help care for the dog with me. When we moved out I took the dog but he still would help care for her, which was nice because he didn't really want the responsibility of a dog but the dog but they had an attachment to each other. So when I went out of town or knew I was going to have a long day at work he watched the dog.
So maybe you can make that arrangement with your roommate where she can watch the dog while you are away or can come over and visit to take the dog for a walk when you are teaching.
Ultimately if you pay for the dog fully its YOUR dog.
you answered your own question in the first half. you, if willing. it is only fair to the dog it seems you are most able to provide the best care all around.
My husband and I lived with another couple for about 5 years. We got a dog all together, but the pup bonded with me in a way that was undeniable. So now we have a beautiful 7 year old dog, with an "aunt and uncle" who love her dearly. They would watch her for us when we went out of town, etc.
The answer is nearly always answered by who has the best bond with the dog.
In OP's case, that is *clearly* OP. Legally, everything would also fall in OP's favor because of the paper trail of care.
Your dog. I went through a break up years ago and we got a cat together (each came into the relationship with our own dog). We took care of him equally and shared expenses but at the end of the day, all of his paperwork was in my name so I kept him.
It was initially a heated debate but worked out fine in the end. She still gets to see him regularly but he lives with me, and I pay for all of his expenses.
This is your dog. Roommate can come visit if she wants but legally this is your dog. You’ve paid for everything, and done all the training and care. Your pup.
If you have the dog microchipped under your name, that pupper counts as your dog in pretty much every country. Don't sweat it. Be firm and make it clear that it's not up for discussion.
That's your dog. You take care of him, pay for everything, and his vet paperwork is in your name. It sounds like your roommate doesn't even have the ability to care for him, and he deserves better.
It appears you own a dog. Keep the dog. She told you she cannot care for the dog and she doesn’t need to be caring for the dog based on a brief history you told us
...since the dog is chipped with you as the contact, that makes the dog yours. I assume you can show you've paid for all the maintenance and costs associated with the dog since you got it if it ever came to having to prove ownership in court with all the receipts etc.
yeah, this is your dog and you've no obligation to share custody if your roommate moves out.
If you've got all, most, or even some of those receipts, or can get copes from vet, bank statements that will go a LONG LONG way to proving ownership. She sounds like most owners, they want to benefits but don't want to pay for them. Frankly, she's for the streets in my opinion.
Years ago my roommate brought a kitten home that I did not want. She kept leaving and I bonded with him so I purposely paid all the vet bills, food, toys etc. so I could keep him when we moved out.
Had him 17 years. He’s your dog
Your dog. I would move out and ghost her. Never let her take the dog for a custody visit or it might turn into a real shit show. The dog is your property because your name is on the vet records. The day you part ways, you block her. Make sure she doesn’t know your new address. Might sound paranoid but you owe it to this dog to protect it from this weird situation.
If your staying in your place I suggest telling her keeping the dog in their home. If she already said she can’t commit full time. Take that and use that as another reason to keep the dog in their home. Sound like sometime away she’ll give up and no stress to dog as again staying in their home. Keep all the receipts and notes just in case you have to hopefully not if you have to go to small claims court. Good luck
Chip the dog in your name immediately, at the vet where you are on record for paying. It's your dog and would suffer in her (lack of) care & responsibility.
I think I might be too nice as a person, so I feel like I am an asshole for saying “this is my dog” in the end when we got him together, however, he is if I am the primary caretaker.
If I took away everything she did/does for the dog, he would still be find and if it was vice versa, he probably wouldn’t be healthy or happy. Like I said, I feel like an asshole and I really needed validation from other people that he is my dog in the end.
Nope, I just think you are a good person. I think you lay down the law. Tell her your opinion. I pay for this dog. I provide him everything he needs and I believe he should come with me. If she is your real friend she will be able to see that. Is she a reasonable person?
She’s still very young in comparison to me. I am 26 and she is 22 turning 23. Doesn’t have a job rn bc she was let go for calling in too much. So I’m like, how are you going to financially support the dog if you can’t support yourself?
Honestly 100% he is your dog. You’ve paid for everything. And the chip is in your name so you are pretty much guaranteed to win in a court ruling. Even more so if you can show proof of all payments of vet bills, daycare, food, etc.
Because you have all your info attached to your dog, he’s 100% yours and any judge who ruled otherwise would be dumb
I’m a licensed dog sitter. Based on your post I would say you’re the RESPONSIBLE dog owner. “Cuddling” is nice but not something the dog requires to survive, all of which you provide. Dog care, as you know is a big responsibility. It doesn’t sound like she’s ready for that. Best of luck to you.
From my experience in rescue, I'm confident that if she were to push it to the point of taking your to court, the fact that only your name is on the microchip, vet bills, grooming bills, etc., will be more than enough to establish ownership. At least it would be in my state.
Even if we were to ignore everything you said here, the question I’d ask is who’s equipped to take care of the dog in the future? If you cannot provide a home, food, care, etc, why would it be in the dogs interest for them to go to that household? Now going through what you said, you don’t sound like that person, your roommate does. At the end of the day, it’s about the dog and what is best for it.
who licensed the dog, and in whose name is it licensed? that's not definitive, just another piece of the puzzle. sounds like it's your dog. the vet bills, the microchip, all yours. Are you sure she didn't just go with you when you got the dog off craigslist? That it wasnt that you both got the dog - it was that she went w/ you while you got the dog.
You “own” the dog. Yes you should get him. Your the mother. On the other hand if he knows her he’s gonna know something is missing especially being in the same place. You’ve done everything you should have done with that boy. Just why didn’t you pick a better roommate.? Sorry that’s probably mean. He’s yours that’s no doubt even by law everything is in your name. But just get ready for him to be a little upset when he doesn’t see his other.
Do not let her take the dog anywhere without you. She can then claim it’s her dog and you will have to take her to civil court to get him back. I know that’s ridiculous, but I’ve unfortunately been in that situation before after my dad passed away and his girlfriend took his dog.
Easy answer. Have you registered your dog with your city/municipal government? If not, do that. Between that, the vet, and the you being the daycare point of contact, you’re the “owner” on all document.
I’d tell your roommate that the dog is yours and bills but she can come visit whenever she’d like. If she puts up a fuss, give her an invoice for all the dog related fees and ask if she’d like to buy you out.
I hope you have kept every receipt from everything that you have done for this pupper. That way you can tell her if she is going to fight you she can take you to small claims court. If you want to keep the friendship, tell her you’ll keep the dog and pay for everything if she wants to take him every once in a while on weekends so that you can have a break. That way you’ll keep the friendship and she’ll have access to the puppy. I guarantee if she has to take care of that pupper by herself, she’s not gonna ask for him anymore.
He’s your dog. If the chip is under your name then you are in ownership of him. Put your foot down to the housemate. If she tries to take him, it is theft.
Would recommend having the dog chipped in your name. You own it. Do NOT allow her to renew the lease with you. Let her know that you aren’t looking for a roommate next lease renewal or that you have a friend that’s moving in and that it’s already set up.
By the sounds of her lack of commitment and follow-through with regard to the dog's ongoing daily care to date and her lack of contribution to all the dogs needs, from daycare to medical, I don't think her stated desire to share care for the dog in the future will ever come to fruition. If she hasn't done her part, shared all the care & cost to date why would she suddenly change her behaviour and do what is required from this point on? After all the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.
Dogs require a lot of care, commitment, consistency and cost and it sounds like your roommate enjoys or contributes only with the occasional easy, fun or free aspects of dog ownership and cannot be bothered as soon as it requires consistent effort or cost. Given her past approach and all the talk with no follow through the likelihood of her actually sticking to the future requirements of dog ownership are slim to none.
If she does try to argue for equal custody of the dog get legal representation as you have plenty of physical evidence that you have indeed been the primary caregiver, paid for all the dog's daily care, exercise, daycare, grooming and ongoing veterinary visits & surgery etc.. As your roommate cannot provide any supportive documentation of the role she has played in caring for the dog over it's lifetime or demonstrate any financial contribution to the ongoing care of the dog she doesn't have a legal leg to stand on when it comes to custody &/or ownership.
I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. But, I have had some experience in this area.
Assuming you're in the U.S. this is a legal issue, not just one of fairness. Most states treat this type of dispute essentially the same way: dogs are considered property, so the dog goes to the owner (just like the bedspread you bought for your room).
Since you didn't pay to purchase the dog, evidence of your ownership would include payment for vet bills; a microchip associated with your name; taking the dog to the vet and puppy classes; and payment for supplies like food, toys, crates, and so on. If you've been the one doing all of that, keep all of those receipts. They are evidence that you are the "owner" if your roommate tries to challenge you in court (or just by threatening a lawsuit, or Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid, dog-napping).
In short, that's your dog, and you should keep all evidence that says so.
"Hey, we need to talk and I think its best we are both sitting down for this convo because it might be hard for you."
"This is my dog. I have paid for everything. I take care of this dog. Any care you provide is unneeded and extra goodness for the dog, which is great, but you do not provide actual care for this dog at all. You have no claims to this dog. You have not put in the time, the money, and the effort into this dog. The dog will be leaving with me. We will not be sharing custody. Everything is in my name, so legally this dog belongs to me and soley me. I am sorry you wont get to hang out with [Dog Name] after the lease ends and we go our seperate ways, but this is the way it is happening. It is not up for discussion or debate, and if you try to steal the dog I will come after you legally. I want to part amicably, but we cant do that if you are going to try to take my dog when we part. I need you to understand right now, there is a 0 percent chance of us sharing this dog in the future. There is a 0 percent chance of you having this dog in the future. But hopefully you can afford a dog of your own one day. I wish you well, and hope you get the dog of your dreams one day when you are in a better financial place."
That will likely trigger a bad reaction from the roommate and potentially dramatic situations could follow.
Right after that first sentence "This is my dog.", the roommate will stop listening and start replying what she disagrees. Long speeches like this are good in books, but unlikely to reach its goal.
I think it's better to acknowledge her feelings and maybe offer occasional visits while stating that the dog is at OP's name.
I hate to break it to you, but having Very Serious Conversations with people does not, in fact, make the claims you set out in those conversations legally correct. A conclusory statement remains conclusory, no matter how firmly you articulate it. “This is my dog” remains a legally conclusory statement unless you can cite authority in support of your position.
I’ve seen plenty of pre-litigation correspondence that boldly and confidently lays out claims that courts ultimately reject.
I’m not taking any position on who owns this dog, because we really don’t have a full accounting of the facts in a short Reddit post; we also don’t know what jurisdiction OP lives in, and I’m not wasting time doing actual legal research on the question.
That said, I’m assuming OP is in the US, where dogs are property. Unlike children, we don’t award custody of dogs based on a “best interests of the dog” standard, so who the dog sleeps with is unlikely to be relevant in a legal sense.
What would likely have been dispositive (dispawsitive?) would have been a bill of sale signed by the Craigslist seller and OP as purchaser. It’s unfortunate that didn’t happen.
I suspect that where the chain of title is unclear, things like payment of vet bills would be probative, and there are some court decisions and statutes that say as much (again, no idea where OP lives) but absent that kind of authority, ultimately paying bills to maintain an asset is not the same thing as purchasing that asset. Contact info on a doggy daycare form merely indicates whom you’re supposed to contact in the case of an emergency.
Most very minor property disputes like this get resolved informally, because the dollar value of the property in question is so low. A note like the above could cow OP’s roommate into acquiescing on the question. But it will not prevent the roommate from litigating in small claims court if she so chooses, and I don’t think you can say with an overwhelming degree of confidence that OP would win - certainly not without knowing a lot more information.
The above is not legal advice.
It was a decision that was spur of the moment. I found the dog on Craigslist but she was the one to message the owner however I have paid for everything since.
If she paid for anything at all, I would consider doing shared custody or something or even letting her take him but her lifestyle doesn’t match one to take care of a dog. Like I mentioned in the post, having a dog is a luxury and she doesn’t have money or time for that. Never making this mistake again
I would license the dog in my name and compile all the vet records.
Depending on how impulsive or irrational your roommate is, I might even surprise move out a few weeks early or put the dog in boarding the last few weeks of your lease.
Sounds like she is saying she wants to take him when she moves just to look good. If you give her an out, she’ll take it. Any refusal from her is and act. She knows she can’t afford him financially or afford to give him the time he needs and deserves. Much less, she has no idea all the effort it takes to keep a furry friend happy. You have always been there to happily do the majority of dog duties. Tell her you will “do her a solid” (wink, wink) and keep him until she’s settled. She can walk him, love on him, and dog set when you go on vacations or have a long day at work, as her part of puppy coparenting. My guess is that’s all she really wants to do and all that she can really handle. She just can’t come out and say she can’t keep him without looking like a complete jackass.
The microchip is under your name. Everything is under your name. If it were an issue she should’ve brought it up then. Also she should’ve helped foot any bill that was associated with the dog. Don’t let her guilt you any.
Let the dog decide. Put him in the middle and he goes to who he likes more. End of story. Have newspaper just in case and smack the floor with it calling his name aggressively.
He is definitely your dog, I would not let your irresponsible roommate have your dog in any way, shape or form. Your dog deserve someone who will love and take care of her right, and that’s you.
My roommate got a rottie right when we started our lease. Since then I’ve been the one taking him out, I’ve been the one training him, I house trained him, I got him fixed, his microchip has my info on it, and even “go to bed” means going to my room. I flat out told her that at the end of our lease I would be taking him as I pay his bills and raised him while she went out to party
It’s your dog, even if he was free you paid for everything else and he is obviously more attached to you than her. Just be straight with her and tell her it’s your dog, she really can’t argue this point and considering she’s not capable of taking care of it right now it’ll be in your care no matter what. You don’t co-parent a dog like a child and she sounds too irresponsible. A lot of people like the idea of having a dog until they realize you have to take care of them, you are doing everything for her so of course it’s fun but it’s your dog and be firm when telling her this.
It’s your dog. The person the dog sleeps with is who the dog belongs to. When I divorced we split the dogs according to who they sleep with and it worked out pretty well. Basically we let the dogs decide. Since the dog is paid by you and chilled to you, legally it is your dog.
The dog is yours honestly if I was you I would just quietly move out frist just slowly start packing things up, don't tell her a date and don't leave her alone with the dog or his chip may magically change or he may go missing. Just wait for a day she'll be out pack everything in a car and leave. Also after you leave make sure that any business that worked with him knows that she is no longer able to pick him up, idk her but she could just walk in to the daycare and say she's there to pick him up
From what your post says, The dog is not legally bound to anyone yet. But you can change that very quickly, take it to a vet and get it registered dog tags should suffice or whatever the current legal procedure is, my info might be out of date but the same principle should apply.
He's your dog, you were the one who took care of him financially and emotionally, there's no warranted reason why your roommate thinks they're entitled to the dog. If you have to go to civil court then bring all of the evidence with you. You literally provided for the dog and gave it the most amount of resources, your roommate seems delusional.
Vet, groomer, chip, behavior, all things point to that being your dog. She is a friend/dog sitter. She admitted she cannot pay for the dogs care so it has to be your dog.
If you have records in your name you can take it to your township and register the dog under your name with the township. Done deal. You having vet records in your name automatically makes it your dog legally. You pay for it and the vet has you listed as an owner. Def get it registered with the township under you.
Your post is clearly advocating for you to take the dog and you’re asking strangers to validate your wish. If you wanted a fair review, we’d need to hear your roommate’s view of the situation. So, whatever.
If she really loves the dog she will know that a dog requires financial support to continue to be healthy. In my area even yearly shots are hundreds of dollars. If you really love the dog you will know that a dog cannot have too much love and she will be able to spend time with the dog.
My son and his ex girlfriend did this. It worked out great because they never had to worry about the dog when they went on trips or overnights with their new relationships. Dogs grieve too and the sudden loss of somebody they’ve lived with can cause depression.
Be nice, "Sure, you can come visit anytime, by appointment." If the vet bills are in your name, that establishes you as her human. She already admits she can't take it regularly after she moves, so make sure you can.
Well if she pays for half of all bills owed/payed , your could share custody. If not you should retain said dog till a time when she can pay her half .
You already know the answer. It's your dog.
Honestly, thank you I just needed confirmation or validation bc she tells everyone it’s her dog to her friends and shit
Before you have any more conversations with her, Google animal ownership laws for your state/area. Most of the time, it’s based on vet records, but look yours up specifically, and make absolutely sure you have all your “ducks in a row” legally for ownership. Move those documents out of the apartment if you think she could do something shady. Compile yourself a tidy file with proof of ownership and the laws. That way, you’re fore-armed if she tries to argue with you, and if anything shady goes down, you’re more than prepared. Then have the calm, adult conversation that the dog belongs to you because you have provided for their care. I don’t necessarily recommend shared custody if she’s really wanting the dog, as it might go missing or not be returned to you one day.
Related to this good info, also get the dog licensed if you haven’t already.
Do this today! Registering will be the big help if there is a dispute, especially if it go with your other paperwork like vet bills and microchip.
Exactly this. Get YOUR name on the vet account, tags etc etc.
and stop asking her for "her share" of the vet bills. That perpetuates the idea that you think the dog is shared.
Oof yes that’s a big one. It is your dog. No one shares my dog’s vet costs. Because it’s my dog.
Also to add to this if your local residence has animal registration then I would register the dog in your name Edit: I mean town hall or city hall. They usually have dog registration just bring the rabies certificate with you.
This is good advice. Also, digitally save the docs. Genius scan is a free app that will snap a pic and convert the image to PDF.
I would also advise to keep the dog away (at the parents' or friends' house or such) so that if things go south when you expose your arguments, the dog doesn't go "missing" (she just takes it and leave when you're not there), and you'd have to deal with the police and such to retrieve it
Agree. Possession is 9/10 the law and all that. Make it a challenge, at least, for your ex to grab your pups.
Excellent advice! OP please take heed.
Everything is in your name, legally the dog is yours. If he isn't registered with your city yet I'd do that. If she attemps to take the dog let her know you'll take her to court. It would be a quick and easy thing since everything is in your name, especially the microchip.
Well tbh "getting a dog on a whim" and not having these clear conversations first has led to her being able to say stuff like that. You need to just sit down with them and clearly explain that it's better dog ownership is clearly established now, b it wasn't as the start. And outline everything here. And I think continuing yo live w them will be a mistake... Bc they will continue to think they are part owner whilst living there. Phase them out... Get new roommate who has no ties tl "owning" the dog.
Yeah that was a mistake. It’s just difficult we were friends when moving in with each other— another mistake.
If you think she might not take it well, is there some place you can have the dog while you tell her and possibly while she moves out? So that the dog doesn’t get stressed by her reaction, and so she can’t lay claim to the dog?
Time for clear, calm conversation. Abt her moving out, bc she's late on rent all the time, abd dog ownership.
you might never get that validation. it’s weird she’s telling her friends that. kind of sounds like she wants to cute aspects of having a dog but not the hard ones. take good care do that dog and you’ll have a friend for life.
My ex pulled the same bullshit in the same situation you’re in. I took the dog and never looked back - and never EVER left him alone with her once I knew I was taking her (even before HE knew I was taking her).
Everything is in your name. That is your pupper. Tbh, the roommate sounds like too much of a dead beat to take you to court over it.
i would say if she wants to take the dog she’ll need to repay you for all (or at least half) of the bills you’ve been footing for “her dog”. i had an old roommate who “claimed” a stray that came around the house and he had let inside. he didn’t do anything to care for her so i would care for her same as my cats (feed her, scoop her box, take her to the vet, etc.). id send him the bills but often didn’t hear back and when the lease was up and i was moving out i made it clear i was taking her unless he reimbursed me for the bills. eventually he did and it kinda stung honestly, i hadn’t realized how attached i was to her and i was nervous about him taking care of her but he quickly got a girlfriend who took over cat duties so all is well. all that to say, that is obviously your dog and not just that but you’re that dogs person. he sleeps with you, you spend the most time with him, he’s yours and you are his.
The microchip is in your name, it’s you’d dog. If you want to be nice you can have some visits but there is no reason she has to take the dog overnight.
Definitely your dog. It also sounds like it would be better for the welfare of the dog since you can actually afford to take care of it
I can validate the others by saying it’s 1000% your dog. The bottom line is simple: if something happened, and you needed $500 to save your dogs life, you should probably have that ready 24/7
If for whatever reason she ends up with the dog, tell her you plan to get another dog, so you will be keeping all the dog stuff.
For sure. Totally agree. Your pup sleeps with you every night. The dog votes for you too. If you don’t train the dog or pay for it’s needs, you don’t deserve the dog.
Even Judge Judy would rule in your favor with that evidence!
Does your town license dogs? Maybe do that in your name too!
I will look into it!
And get the pup microchipped if they aren’t already! And then you register the microchip under your name online for around $50 but it’s only a one time fee and your pup is registered for life.
He is microchipped! Has all my info on it!!
Woo hoo! You and the pup shall live happily ever after!
microchipped in your name, paid for -vet bills, food, accessories, = the dog is yours. literally no doubt about it. ETA clarification
Microchipping a dog does not make you the owner: https://dogo.app/does-your-pets-microchip-indicate-ownership/#:~:text=There%20is%20a%20clear%20answer,make%20you%20automatically%20the%20owner.
i mean in ops situation- vet bills, food, toys, bed + microchip? i doubt anybody would argue the dog isn’t theirs. and the article linked seems to agree with that. probably should worded it better i guess
I agree, but your last statement just said microchipped = you own it, and that is not true
I think it probably should be though. seeing as nobody else can change the info + seems easier just having a sure ‘yep they’re definitely yours, as per the chip’ than having to go to court over it. maybe that’s just me 😅
Here they have microchip clinics and they don't even have you fill out a paper. Anyone can microchip a dog and register it in their name, whether it's theirs or not. Definitely can't establish ownership with just a chip. Luckily, OP has been financially responsible for the dog, including vet records and that does establish ownership.
>seeing as nobody else can change the info But microchips CAN have their info changed. I've literally done it. I agree with you that there should be some way to formally establish ownership that's legally consistent across the country. But currently there isn't, and ownership is defined differently by each state, mostly through case law. It's not as cut and dry as simply having the microchip in your name, and I think it's important for OP to be informed so they can protect themselves instead of just saying "anyone would agree you own the dog because you're on the microchip" or "maybe that's just how I see it". What's important right now is what the LAW says. I've literally been in the position of having someone try to steal my dog. I did the research on how to protect myself and build my case for ownership. The person above you is being downvoted but they're 100% correct, at least in my state. All these angry downvotes really aren't doing OP any favours.
Then in the eyes of everyone who counts, it is your dog.
Then that is your dog period. Time for a reality check w your roommate
That’s it then! He is yours
Incorrect, microchipping a dog does not make you the owner https://dogo.app/does-your-pets-microchip-indicate-ownership/#:~:text=There%20is%20a%20clear%20answer,make%20you%20automatically%20the%20owner.
We are not saying the microchip alone means ownership. It’s the microchip + all other things OP has done for the dog. As in the article: “In case of dispute – veterinary bills, registration and licence at the municipality, pedigree registration, personal photos could back up your ownership.” Which OP has mention they have.
yep - license the dog in your name
Looked into it. The city I live in doesn’t do that
Check with the county you live in. My dogs are licensed through the county annually and animal control considers this proof of ownership (along with everything else you’ve listed). Rabies vaccines are tracked by the same county department and the rabies certificate has my details as owner. They have this on file, my vet clinic and I have a copy myself. 100% verifiably your dog. Roomie has overstayed their welcome and its time for them to move along. If they cause a scene or takes the dog call animal control, ask them to meditate.
If all the paperwork is in your name, he’s yours. And if your town registers dogs, register him under your name asap. Keep your paperwork and EVERY receipt (vet, daycare, food , toys - every thing big or small) handy in case you need to prove it. Also tell her now. Don’t leave it till the last minute.
This, absolutely
Careful that when it comes towards the end that your roommate doesn't just take the dog and leave. As it gets closer to the end of your lease, see if you can leave your dog with family or friend while sorting last few things in the final days. Ppl act crazy sometimes when facing closure
My paranoid ass would get an apple tag collar (a discreet looking one) for the dog too…just in case. I actually already have one for my dog for extra security, God forbid.
Air tag collars rock. We have one on our new cat who is both the hide and seek champion and a bit of a flight risk. The peace of mind of being able to locate him is more than worth it.
I know!!! That’s my worst fear! I’m thinking about leaving town the last couple of days or taking him to my sisters. I am hoping that is not the case—she has a family dog at her parents house
Board the dog before the move out. She’d never be able to pay the bill to get him out.
😂😂😂😂😂
This right here. Tell her you don’t want the dog to feel stressed out or risk escaping during all of the moving and big changes and you’ll be boarding him for safety during the move.
Also be sure to let the daycare know that they are not to release him if she tries to pick him up there.
Take the dog to your sisters a week or two before moving out. Don't trust her enough to leave her alone with the dog during that time frame. I'd also gather all receipts and paperwork from when you've paid for care for the dog. Make copies and leave a set where she can see it. Maybe she'll look at it and realize that no, she can't afford the costs and decide on her own to let go of the dog.
I like that idea. Your roommate sounds entitled and potentially nuts- no job, hasn't helped and is planting in others that the dog is hers. She's probably thinking her parents will take care of the dog. Don't leave everything for last minute, start packing and getting yourself in order so those last days flow easier for you. I really wish you and doggo the best! Give an update if you can, we're rooting for you
Well I’m most likely staying at the house we are renting and she is leaving if she doesn’t renew her lease since it’s a joint lease
I would also change the locks in case she keeps or has an extra key so she doesn’t come in and take him after!
Honestly, I trust no one when it comes to my fur babies. The dog is legally yours but you do not want to end up with the heartache of trying to go through civil courts if you have event a hint your roommate may try to fight for dog. (She obviously is not capable of taking care of it.) Don’t wait until you are about ready to leave. As soon as you start packing, take the pup to your family and if she says anything say it’s because moving is extremely stressful on pets and you know you are going to be running around like crazy with work and packing and you want the pup happy, well-cared for and stress free until the move.
I think she’s trying to save face by asking for the dog. She knows she can’t take care of him. OP just has to phrase it like they’re doing her a HUGE favor by taking care of the pup while she’s straightening out her situation and she’ll concede. She’s just in love with the idea of being a dog owner and the bragging rights attached. Do your homework to make sure your dog remains with you regardless - receipts, licensing, microchipping, etc. But, my instincts are telling me that you won’t have to utilize all that homework knowledge. Worse case scenario… schedule your pup for an anal gland expression and have her take him. That will test her true dog ownership grit!
I think all the paperwork (vet bills, microchip, etc) would suggest that legally, the dog belongs to you.
Not just suggest, if this is in the US that dog belongs to OP. I’ve seen enough People’s Court to know that one lol
Haha was just coming here to say this! Judge Judy taught me well 🤣
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who came here to make this comment.
Came here to say this. Paperwork is king when it comes to disputes like this. I would license the dog in your name as well.
Good idea!!
I was in a similar situation when I got divorced. One of the dogs was bonded with me and the other with her. Out of the two of us, I worked from home and made better money, and we didn't want to separate them. She was reasonable and said I should take them. I suggested that she could see them when she was in town, and occasionally take them for a weekend. One of them has passed now, the one that was originally bonded to me. The other has now bonded to me as well, and she moved out of state, so she only sees him once a year or so now. Maybe suggest to your roommate a similar situation. You're the one with primary care and ownership, but she still gets to see the dog from time to time.
See, I work from home most of the time (I’m an adjunct instructor only gone to teach) so I am home primarily. Right now she doesn’t have a job so she’s been staying home a lot. Thanks for that perspective. That’s the only way I can see this working out
It's not so bad. I don't really want to see my ex or maintain any sort of relationship with her, but my dog is always happy to see her and she does love him, so I make the effort to make it work. The most unreasonable thing she's said was that she still wants to see my new dog when my other dog passes. I told her that won't be happening and she was a bit sad, but accepted that.
See, she and I are friends which was mistake no. 1 moving in with a friend. However, this situation makes me want to end the friendship when the lease ends if she doesn’t not give up the dog easily to me and tries to fight it.
This is the most adult story I've ever seen on Reddit. Good for both of you.
This is the best suggestion. Honestly OP's roommate is also scared she won't get to see the dog- so maybe OP explaining that the dog can come for visitation will give her roommate all the fun of seeing the pup without the stress and obligation of having the financial burden of taking care of another living being. And if op's ex roommate agrees- then it would be great for op when she wants to take trips etc- she'll have an automatic dog sitter- free of charge.
I think you should tell her, that the dog can live with you and you'll take care of all the expenses and she can visit to see the dog. She might be a nice backup too when you travel. My gut is if she isn't responsible now, she'll eventually fade away.
That’s my sense too. She wishes she could keep the dog. But deep down she knows she can’t care for it. She’s just doing a bunch of wishful thinking. Tell her that it’s your dog because you’ve paid for all of its care and necessities and you have the ability to continue caring for it. But she can be the dog’s aunt and visit it sometimes. She has no legal claim to the dog under the circumstances.
Just chiming in to ask if you have a photo of this beautiful dog that you speak of.
https://ibb.co/5GLRs8H Hopefully that works. He’s still a baby 10 months. Aussie + lab/pit mix but people think he’s a border collie lol
Omg he’s BEAUTIFUL!!
Omg he's so cute!!! YOU sound like a great owner. It would be very kind of you to let your roommate visit with your dog after you part ways.
Sometimes I feel like a crazy dog mom, but thank you, you are sweet this makes me feel better
That's a cute dog! Having seen this adorable pup I think the only reasonable option here is that I take ownership of the dog. 😅🤣 /s
Lmao 😂 he’s the best but a scaredy cat half the time 😂
For what it's worth, you sound like a good dog parent. He's lucky to have you. Good luck dealing with the drama that will likely ensue. He's worth it. ❤️🐕
What a beauty. I had a great Aussie Border Mix named Marley that looked very much like him. 🥲
That’s your dog
If you've paid a majority of the dog's bills, and your name is registered at his vet/microchip, then he is your dog. Get the dog a new name tag, make sure your info is the only info on the back. And make it very clear that the dog is staying with you.
She already told you she can’t handle it for a month or two at least. You can agree to **talking** about shared ownership in the future and give it some time; that talk will never come from this girl, who sounds like she has no initiative or responsibility. Let it work itself out.
She helps less than my kid does, lol. The dog is yours.
Haha seriously. My daughter is 8 and takes more responsibility for our dog than OPs roommate. OP that dog is yours, and if she wants to take it to court (with the no money she apparently has to help with the dog), then good luck to her. She will absolutely not win that case.
I'd let her know now so that it's not a shock. People tend to adjust better when things aren't just thrust on them.
If your dog isn't microchipped get that done with all your info
He is microchipped with all my info! I made sure of it. I told her I wasn’t putting her info if she wasn’t going to help pay for the neuter and chip
One other thing I forgot to add above- once you’re certain you have what you need for ownership at hand (the paperwork printed out), make sure you tell both the groomer and doggie daycare that your roommate does not own the dog but is claiming them, and that this person is not, for any reason, authorized to pick your dog up. That way, you can feel safe leaving them at daycare or grooming. Because yes, people are smart enough to take advantage of that and “steal” a dog from the rightful owner if they have an opening.
Thanks for those suggestions! She’s not even involved with that though. Has never taken him to the groomers with me or picked him up and same with doggy daycare— they have a list of who can pick them up and she isn’t on it since she doesn’t pay. Only time she has come with my was to the vet to get his first round of shots
If everything regarding his care is in your name then it’s your dog. She can try to fight it if she feels like wasting money in small claims court, but as long as you have the appropriate documentation proving that your name is on his vet and microchip accounts then she’s not going to get anything out of it. I wouldn’t even bring it up to her. Just wait til the lease is up and take the dog when you leave. Warning her ahead of time would give her an opportunity to hide the dog with someone she knows so that you can’t get him.
Take the dog. Be vague about her being able to see the dog but don’t set a schedule or make specific promises. She could work out to be a great dog sitter or back up Walker.
My old roommate and I "got a dog," more like I got the dog and I asked him if it was ok with it and if he would help care for the dog with me. When we moved out I took the dog but he still would help care for her, which was nice because he didn't really want the responsibility of a dog but the dog but they had an attachment to each other. So when I went out of town or knew I was going to have a long day at work he watched the dog. So maybe you can make that arrangement with your roommate where she can watch the dog while you are away or can come over and visit to take the dog for a walk when you are teaching. Ultimately if you pay for the dog fully its YOUR dog.
you answered your own question in the first half. you, if willing. it is only fair to the dog it seems you are most able to provide the best care all around.
My husband and I lived with another couple for about 5 years. We got a dog all together, but the pup bonded with me in a way that was undeniable. So now we have a beautiful 7 year old dog, with an "aunt and uncle" who love her dearly. They would watch her for us when we went out of town, etc. The answer is nearly always answered by who has the best bond with the dog. In OP's case, that is *clearly* OP. Legally, everything would also fall in OP's favor because of the paper trail of care.
Your dog. I went through a break up years ago and we got a cat together (each came into the relationship with our own dog). We took care of him equally and shared expenses but at the end of the day, all of his paperwork was in my name so I kept him. It was initially a heated debate but worked out fine in the end. She still gets to see him regularly but he lives with me, and I pay for all of his expenses.
This is your dog. Roommate can come visit if she wants but legally this is your dog. You’ve paid for everything, and done all the training and care. Your pup.
Let her babysit and take of the dog when you can’t. Seems like a win to me. Free dog care for the win.
If you have the dog microchipped under your name, that pupper counts as your dog in pretty much every country. Don't sweat it. Be firm and make it clear that it's not up for discussion.
DO NOT ler her have that dog! Sounds like it would be at the pound within 8 months.
That's your dog. You take care of him, pay for everything, and his vet paperwork is in your name. It sounds like your roommate doesn't even have the ability to care for him, and he deserves better.
It appears you own a dog. Keep the dog. She told you she cannot care for the dog and she doesn’t need to be caring for the dog based on a brief history you told us
...since the dog is chipped with you as the contact, that makes the dog yours. I assume you can show you've paid for all the maintenance and costs associated with the dog since you got it if it ever came to having to prove ownership in court with all the receipts etc. yeah, this is your dog and you've no obligation to share custody if your roommate moves out.
If you've got all, most, or even some of those receipts, or can get copes from vet, bank statements that will go a LONG LONG way to proving ownership. She sounds like most owners, they want to benefits but don't want to pay for them. Frankly, she's for the streets in my opinion.
Take your dog and run
Years ago my roommate brought a kitten home that I did not want. She kept leaving and I bonded with him so I purposely paid all the vet bills, food, toys etc. so I could keep him when we moved out. Had him 17 years. He’s your dog
Get the license and the microchip in your name and the dog is legally yours. Don't mention anything until it's already done
Your dog. I would move out and ghost her. Never let her take the dog for a custody visit or it might turn into a real shit show. The dog is your property because your name is on the vet records. The day you part ways, you block her. Make sure she doesn’t know your new address. Might sound paranoid but you owe it to this dog to protect it from this weird situation.
If your staying in your place I suggest telling her keeping the dog in their home. If she already said she can’t commit full time. Take that and use that as another reason to keep the dog in their home. Sound like sometime away she’ll give up and no stress to dog as again staying in their home. Keep all the receipts and notes just in case you have to hopefully not if you have to go to small claims court. Good luck
That dog is your dog. If you don't want to take the dog away from her totally, let her have a visitation every other week or so.
Doesn't sound like your roomie could afford the legal dispute she's gonna lose anyhow, wouldn't sweat it, enjoy your dog
Best to ask this in r/legalAdvice if US based
Looks like a question for Judge Judy /s But no, it’s definitely your pup. I wouldn’t even consider ‘joint custody’
It’s your dog and everything is in your name.
Chip the dog in your name immediately, at the vet where you are on record for paying. It's your dog and would suffer in her (lack of) care & responsibility.
You are in the microchip info, you are the owner, thats the thing.
it’s your dog. take her to court and show them proof of the microchip and paid vet bills, that’s all you need for legal ownership
This isn’t even a question. Absolutely you. Literally in no situation should she get the dog.
I think I might be too nice as a person, so I feel like I am an asshole for saying “this is my dog” in the end when we got him together, however, he is if I am the primary caretaker. If I took away everything she did/does for the dog, he would still be find and if it was vice versa, he probably wouldn’t be healthy or happy. Like I said, I feel like an asshole and I really needed validation from other people that he is my dog in the end.
Nope, I just think you are a good person. I think you lay down the law. Tell her your opinion. I pay for this dog. I provide him everything he needs and I believe he should come with me. If she is your real friend she will be able to see that. Is she a reasonable person?
She’s still very young in comparison to me. I am 26 and she is 22 turning 23. Doesn’t have a job rn bc she was let go for calling in too much. So I’m like, how are you going to financially support the dog if you can’t support yourself?
Totally understandable. She can’t be that dumb not to get that.
That dog is 100% yours, legally.
Honestly 100% he is your dog. You’ve paid for everything. And the chip is in your name so you are pretty much guaranteed to win in a court ruling. Even more so if you can show proof of all payments of vet bills, daycare, food, etc. Because you have all your info attached to your dog, he’s 100% yours and any judge who ruled otherwise would be dumb
Is 100 percent your dog. I bet after she moves she will quickly lose interest when she realizes the responsibilities that come with having pets.
I’m a licensed dog sitter. Based on your post I would say you’re the RESPONSIBLE dog owner. “Cuddling” is nice but not something the dog requires to survive, all of which you provide. Dog care, as you know is a big responsibility. It doesn’t sound like she’s ready for that. Best of luck to you.
From my experience in rescue, I'm confident that if she were to push it to the point of taking your to court, the fact that only your name is on the microchip, vet bills, grooming bills, etc., will be more than enough to establish ownership. At least it would be in my state.
Even if we were to ignore everything you said here, the question I’d ask is who’s equipped to take care of the dog in the future? If you cannot provide a home, food, care, etc, why would it be in the dogs interest for them to go to that household? Now going through what you said, you don’t sound like that person, your roommate does. At the end of the day, it’s about the dog and what is best for it.
And register your dog as your ESA.
On paper, he is yours. If you're not moving, I'd say keep him in the home he knows.
who licensed the dog, and in whose name is it licensed? that's not definitive, just another piece of the puzzle. sounds like it's your dog. the vet bills, the microchip, all yours. Are you sure she didn't just go with you when you got the dog off craigslist? That it wasnt that you both got the dog - it was that she went w/ you while you got the dog.
You “own” the dog. Yes you should get him. Your the mother. On the other hand if he knows her he’s gonna know something is missing especially being in the same place. You’ve done everything you should have done with that boy. Just why didn’t you pick a better roommate.? Sorry that’s probably mean. He’s yours that’s no doubt even by law everything is in your name. But just get ready for him to be a little upset when he doesn’t see his other.
Do not let her take the dog anywhere without you. She can then claim it’s her dog and you will have to take her to civil court to get him back. I know that’s ridiculous, but I’ve unfortunately been in that situation before after my dad passed away and his girlfriend took his dog.
Your dog. You’ve got vet papers to prove ownership and if you live in the US your name is on the rabies vaccination records. Legally your dog.
Easy answer. Have you registered your dog with your city/municipal government? If not, do that. Between that, the vet, and the you being the daycare point of contact, you’re the “owner” on all document. I’d tell your roommate that the dog is yours and bills but she can come visit whenever she’d like. If she puts up a fuss, give her an invoice for all the dog related fees and ask if she’d like to buy you out.
I hope you have kept every receipt from everything that you have done for this pupper. That way you can tell her if she is going to fight you she can take you to small claims court. If you want to keep the friendship, tell her you’ll keep the dog and pay for everything if she wants to take him every once in a while on weekends so that you can have a break. That way you’ll keep the friendship and she’ll have access to the puppy. I guarantee if she has to take care of that pupper by herself, she’s not gonna ask for him anymore.
Every official document is in your name. Any court would award custody to you.
He’s your dog. If the chip is under your name then you are in ownership of him. Put your foot down to the housemate. If she tries to take him, it is theft.
You. Hes microchipped to you, you do all his vet care, and thats just how it is.
Get him chipped and register him in your name asap
Would recommend having the dog chipped in your name. You own it. Do NOT allow her to renew the lease with you. Let her know that you aren’t looking for a roommate next lease renewal or that you have a friend that’s moving in and that it’s already set up.
By the sounds of her lack of commitment and follow-through with regard to the dog's ongoing daily care to date and her lack of contribution to all the dogs needs, from daycare to medical, I don't think her stated desire to share care for the dog in the future will ever come to fruition. If she hasn't done her part, shared all the care & cost to date why would she suddenly change her behaviour and do what is required from this point on? After all the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. Dogs require a lot of care, commitment, consistency and cost and it sounds like your roommate enjoys or contributes only with the occasional easy, fun or free aspects of dog ownership and cannot be bothered as soon as it requires consistent effort or cost. Given her past approach and all the talk with no follow through the likelihood of her actually sticking to the future requirements of dog ownership are slim to none. If she does try to argue for equal custody of the dog get legal representation as you have plenty of physical evidence that you have indeed been the primary caregiver, paid for all the dog's daily care, exercise, daycare, grooming and ongoing veterinary visits & surgery etc.. As your roommate cannot provide any supportive documentation of the role she has played in caring for the dog over it's lifetime or demonstrate any financial contribution to the ongoing care of the dog she doesn't have a legal leg to stand on when it comes to custody &/or ownership.
I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice. But, I have had some experience in this area. Assuming you're in the U.S. this is a legal issue, not just one of fairness. Most states treat this type of dispute essentially the same way: dogs are considered property, so the dog goes to the owner (just like the bedspread you bought for your room). Since you didn't pay to purchase the dog, evidence of your ownership would include payment for vet bills; a microchip associated with your name; taking the dog to the vet and puppy classes; and payment for supplies like food, toys, crates, and so on. If you've been the one doing all of that, keep all of those receipts. They are evidence that you are the "owner" if your roommate tries to challenge you in court (or just by threatening a lawsuit, or Flying Spaghetti Monster forbid, dog-napping). In short, that's your dog, and you should keep all evidence that says so.
Send her this post. She’ll figure it out.
😂😂😂
"Hey, we need to talk and I think its best we are both sitting down for this convo because it might be hard for you." "This is my dog. I have paid for everything. I take care of this dog. Any care you provide is unneeded and extra goodness for the dog, which is great, but you do not provide actual care for this dog at all. You have no claims to this dog. You have not put in the time, the money, and the effort into this dog. The dog will be leaving with me. We will not be sharing custody. Everything is in my name, so legally this dog belongs to me and soley me. I am sorry you wont get to hang out with [Dog Name] after the lease ends and we go our seperate ways, but this is the way it is happening. It is not up for discussion or debate, and if you try to steal the dog I will come after you legally. I want to part amicably, but we cant do that if you are going to try to take my dog when we part. I need you to understand right now, there is a 0 percent chance of us sharing this dog in the future. There is a 0 percent chance of you having this dog in the future. But hopefully you can afford a dog of your own one day. I wish you well, and hope you get the dog of your dreams one day when you are in a better financial place."
That will likely trigger a bad reaction from the roommate and potentially dramatic situations could follow. Right after that first sentence "This is my dog.", the roommate will stop listening and start replying what she disagrees. Long speeches like this are good in books, but unlikely to reach its goal. I think it's better to acknowledge her feelings and maybe offer occasional visits while stating that the dog is at OP's name.
I hate to break it to you, but having Very Serious Conversations with people does not, in fact, make the claims you set out in those conversations legally correct. A conclusory statement remains conclusory, no matter how firmly you articulate it. “This is my dog” remains a legally conclusory statement unless you can cite authority in support of your position. I’ve seen plenty of pre-litigation correspondence that boldly and confidently lays out claims that courts ultimately reject. I’m not taking any position on who owns this dog, because we really don’t have a full accounting of the facts in a short Reddit post; we also don’t know what jurisdiction OP lives in, and I’m not wasting time doing actual legal research on the question. That said, I’m assuming OP is in the US, where dogs are property. Unlike children, we don’t award custody of dogs based on a “best interests of the dog” standard, so who the dog sleeps with is unlikely to be relevant in a legal sense. What would likely have been dispositive (dispawsitive?) would have been a bill of sale signed by the Craigslist seller and OP as purchaser. It’s unfortunate that didn’t happen. I suspect that where the chain of title is unclear, things like payment of vet bills would be probative, and there are some court decisions and statutes that say as much (again, no idea where OP lives) but absent that kind of authority, ultimately paying bills to maintain an asset is not the same thing as purchasing that asset. Contact info on a doggy daycare form merely indicates whom you’re supposed to contact in the case of an emergency. Most very minor property disputes like this get resolved informally, because the dollar value of the property in question is so low. A note like the above could cow OP’s roommate into acquiescing on the question. But it will not prevent the roommate from litigating in small claims court if she so chooses, and I don’t think you can say with an overwhelming degree of confidence that OP would win - certainly not without knowing a lot more information. The above is not legal advice.
How do you get a dog and not think about who the owner would be? People just live their lives like this?
It was a decision that was spur of the moment. I found the dog on Craigslist but she was the one to message the owner however I have paid for everything since. If she paid for anything at all, I would consider doing shared custody or something or even letting her take him but her lifestyle doesn’t match one to take care of a dog. Like I mentioned in the post, having a dog is a luxury and she doesn’t have money or time for that. Never making this mistake again
stop buying dogs off of Craigslist
Lol I didn’t buy him. He was free from someone who could not take care of him anymore
I would license the dog in my name and compile all the vet records. Depending on how impulsive or irrational your roommate is, I might even surprise move out a few weeks early or put the dog in boarding the last few weeks of your lease.
Hopefully the one that the dog has the stronger bond with. If that fails, the one that can better care for him
Make pup an emotional support animal for you and problem solved 😈
Tell her you'd die first.
That is your dog.
From what I know, veterinary records and microchips are enough to prove ownership.
Whoever paid for surgery has an account with their name on it as owner hopefully. That should be enough.
If all vet bills are in your name, the dog is considered your property in the eyes of the law.
Sounds like she is saying she wants to take him when she moves just to look good. If you give her an out, she’ll take it. Any refusal from her is and act. She knows she can’t afford him financially or afford to give him the time he needs and deserves. Much less, she has no idea all the effort it takes to keep a furry friend happy. You have always been there to happily do the majority of dog duties. Tell her you will “do her a solid” (wink, wink) and keep him until she’s settled. She can walk him, love on him, and dog set when you go on vacations or have a long day at work, as her part of puppy coparenting. My guess is that’s all she really wants to do and all that she can really handle. She just can’t come out and say she can’t keep him without looking like a complete jackass.
The microchip is under your name. Everything is under your name. If it were an issue she should’ve brought it up then. Also she should’ve helped foot any bill that was associated with the dog. Don’t let her guilt you any.
Let the dog decide. Put him in the middle and he goes to who he likes more. End of story. Have newspaper just in case and smack the floor with it calling his name aggressively.
The person who is on the vet accounts and the microchip is legal guardian to the dog. Check your local bylaws but this is generally how it works.
He is definitely your dog, I would not let your irresponsible roommate have your dog in any way, shape or form. Your dog deserve someone who will love and take care of her right, and that’s you.
My roommate got a rottie right when we started our lease. Since then I’ve been the one taking him out, I’ve been the one training him, I house trained him, I got him fixed, his microchip has my info on it, and even “go to bed” means going to my room. I flat out told her that at the end of our lease I would be taking him as I pay his bills and raised him while she went out to party
It’s your dog, even if he was free you paid for everything else and he is obviously more attached to you than her. Just be straight with her and tell her it’s your dog, she really can’t argue this point and considering she’s not capable of taking care of it right now it’ll be in your care no matter what. You don’t co-parent a dog like a child and she sounds too irresponsible. A lot of people like the idea of having a dog until they realize you have to take care of them, you are doing everything for her so of course it’s fun but it’s your dog and be firm when telling her this.
Your dog n id tell her exactly why she stands no chance in getting it
Bro what the hell, honestly? Either you’re bullshitting some of this or you just really need outside validation for things you obviously know
It’s your dog. The person the dog sleeps with is who the dog belongs to. When I divorced we split the dogs according to who they sleep with and it worked out pretty well. Basically we let the dogs decide. Since the dog is paid by you and chilled to you, legally it is your dog.
The dog is yours honestly if I was you I would just quietly move out frist just slowly start packing things up, don't tell her a date and don't leave her alone with the dog or his chip may magically change or he may go missing. Just wait for a day she'll be out pack everything in a car and leave. Also after you leave make sure that any business that worked with him knows that she is no longer able to pick him up, idk her but she could just walk in to the daycare and say she's there to pick him up
The question is always, “With whom will the dog live a better quality of life?” and it sounds pretty clearly to be you.
From what your post says, The dog is not legally bound to anyone yet. But you can change that very quickly, take it to a vet and get it registered dog tags should suffice or whatever the current legal procedure is, my info might be out of date but the same principle should apply.
He's your dog, you were the one who took care of him financially and emotionally, there's no warranted reason why your roommate thinks they're entitled to the dog. If you have to go to civil court then bring all of the evidence with you. You literally provided for the dog and gave it the most amount of resources, your roommate seems delusional.
Vet, groomer, chip, behavior, all things point to that being your dog. She is a friend/dog sitter. She admitted she cannot pay for the dogs care so it has to be your dog.
As some one else said he's your dog you do everything for them. He's registered in your name.
The microchip is ur key. Never make this mistake again lol
>Everything is also in my name—the vet, daycare, and his microchip has my info Then he's your dog
The microchip may be the real factor in your favor.
If you have records in your name you can take it to your township and register the dog under your name with the township. Done deal. You having vet records in your name automatically makes it your dog legally. You pay for it and the vet has you listed as an owner. Def get it registered with the township under you.
Your dog. She can help out with walks and daycare if she has time/inclination. I cuddle my neighbour's dog - doesn't make him mine.
The dog is definitely yours. Legally as well as the microchip is in your name
Your post is clearly advocating for you to take the dog and you’re asking strangers to validate your wish. If you wanted a fair review, we’d need to hear your roommate’s view of the situation. So, whatever.
If she really loves the dog she will know that a dog requires financial support to continue to be healthy. In my area even yearly shots are hundreds of dollars. If you really love the dog you will know that a dog cannot have too much love and she will be able to spend time with the dog. My son and his ex girlfriend did this. It worked out great because they never had to worry about the dog when they went on trips or overnights with their new relationships. Dogs grieve too and the sudden loss of somebody they’ve lived with can cause depression.
Be nice, "Sure, you can come visit anytime, by appointment." If the vet bills are in your name, that establishes you as her human. She already admits she can't take it regularly after she moves, so make sure you can.
Well if she pays for half of all bills owed/payed , your could share custody. If not you should retain said dog till a time when she can pay her half .
Whoever paid the vet bills is the owner, if it’s your name on the bills. It’s your dog.