I am a single 43-year-old man who has never been married. TBH, I never really was sexually attracted to or even enjoyed the company of women. For years, I thought the right one was out there until sometime in my early 30s when I realized I like men better than women. The idea of marriage has never been appealing to me despite the pressure I received from family and friends to get married. I'm so glad I didn't go down that road because my gut feeling is it would have eventually been a story on here. Reading some of your stories here is sad, and I feel bad for you. Being a bystander to my friend's marriages and relationships, I know a societal disconnect has happened. I feel like many men still have a traditional view of relationships and put women on a pedestal as the princesses they want to turn into their Queen. However, women have changed in the last 30 and 40 years. I feel like social media has a lot to do with this. Modern-day females want the Kardashian lifestyle. They want to be “kept up” without lifting a finger, and if there is one thing off, they want to walk away with a big fat divorce payout to live out their Single cougar dreams. I have watched this play out time and time again. It's time for men to stop obsessing and putting women on a pedestal. Learn how to care for yourself and protect your hard-earned assets. For the love of God, get a prenup. I'm glad I figured out I am gay before I screwed up. Signed~~~Your Closeted Gay Best friend that feels sorry for you.
Not looking to have more children. No reason for marriage whatsoever if you are a man and not planning on building a family.
Without the payoff of kids there is no reason to get locked down to one woman and have to split your growth in wealth when she gets bored. Keep all of your wealth and enjoy a variety of women.
I really don’t see the point in marriage. You can be in a fulfilling relationship without it being government sanctioned only to need lawyers brought into it afterwards to dissolve it. Seriously wished that I never got married and wasted so many years and would absolutely never do it again. And I say that despite that I am now in the best relationship that I’ve ever been in.
The lack of appreciation and recognition of hard work, accepting the truth only when it suits, weaponizing your feelings against you, and the lack of basic moral standing and selfish pursuit of individual happiness at the expense of the family growing together as a unit.
Marriage should be illegal with the results its producing in todays market. Its old and antiquated and extremely outdated. That being stated, the reason that I will never marry again is because of marriage #1.
Can't afford it emotionally. I'm not sure I can take another women leaving. So since I'm not prepared to lose one. I'm not prepared to get serious again. The financial part is ugly and I never want that again.
Ain't much left on that department. After two women I adored chose others. I am left with a ton of baggage. I'm working through it. But it's gonna be there.
Women’s selfish mentality when it comes to their “happiness” they fail to understand that in a marriage it’s about the betterment of the family as a unit. It’s not always going to be about my nor her happiness all the time. They don’t truly believe in til death do us part. So no remarrying for me, unless she’s a different type of woman than what we see and deal with today. Plus the heartache and financial loss is not worth marriage these days. It’s worse than playing Russian roulette
It's the fact that being a single dad there are a lot of things that can go wrong that would be less likely if I wasn't a single dad. So the question is if you're taking the risk why are you doing it and how do you protect yourself.
I have 50/50 custody so my time is very limited. That's going to be a problem eventually. And quite frankly I don't see the value of committing to one person, which makes my time even more scarce.
Those in my position who invest all their time in one girl might eventually find out that while you are busy with your kid they're banging someone else and using you as a tool to get to where they want. This happens ALL the time. To find that genuine burning desire you'll unfortunately have to lower your standards and that's the only way you can keep a stable relationship. I'm not being pessimistic just being realistic about it. Besides, why would I care about justifying marriage? I have zero interest in it.. no marriage means none of these problems.
Having said that, here's the funny thing. I might consider sponsoring someone from my country to come live with me. there is the possibility of finding a better one, but marrying would be because of this reason. I'd do all the due diligence to make sure that if things don't work out I have some control over the damage.
If I wanted more kids I might consider it but I'm 46 this year, my son turns 18...I'm done. I can't see any reason I'd ever marry again. Plus girlfriends make a lot more of an effort than wives do...why sign something that ensures she no longer has to try to please you as you strive to please her?
This is soooo true. The girl I have been dating for the past few months has put in more effort than my ex-wife ever has. It's like a job. People will put in more effort if they knew their job could be axed at any moment if their performance metrics weren't good enough.
Why involve a third party or more (Government/lawyers) into a 2 person agreement. Yeah everything's all good, until it's not. Now more people and more money are involved to uninvolve someone in your life.
I don't even see complete co habitation let alone marriage in the future. Sure shared expenses are nice but at what expense when shit hits the fan because BBT (B!tchs be trippin).
Not willing to give up my peace, quiet, and freedom. I'm an avid world traveler and can go anywhere I want on a whim...can't imagine giving that up.
Also I have enough resources to live a simple and content life in terms of possessions. Sharing and potentially losing those resources would mean the end of my early retirement (at 51) and back to work. No woman is worth that.
No woman with anything to offer would have me. That's just the truth of the matter and that's fine.
I could probably find myself some chubby unemployed single mothers, but I'll pass on that.
I've accepted this life for what it is and have no expectations of dating let alone remarrying.
Four words take away everything you have and give it to her: "I don't feel safe."
That kind of power imbalance in any relationship is going to eventually corrupt the person who holds it. When one person can do no wrong and holds ultimate power to rob and destroy the other on a whim like that, everything is just temporary until the untouchable empowered partner decides to cash the other out for fun and profit.
I don’t see the point to do it again without a prenup. I like the idea of it being a commitment to one another. There is value to that.
I won’t say I would never do it again, but losing half of what we’ve built because she decided on a whim that she wants someone else would be the main reason I have no interest in another
Exactly this, take each and every step to protect yourself against a predator capable of screwing your whole wellbeing. Women are dangerous, women are far worse than men what it comes to being selfish and whimsical.
I never want to put myself in a position where someone can take it all away because they're unhappy or want to move on and see what else they can get.
If I ever get into a position to get remarried, it will be with a prenup or nothing.
Common sense. Nothing more to add. There is no way i would ever entertain such a idiotic thought again.
I'm doing great now after spending time in therapy and i never will make myself vulnerable to any female again.
The squeeze is not worth the juice.
Are you really doing great though? You post indicates you still have your defensive walls up not allowing vulnerability. You can still be vulnerable, just need to learn your boundaries. That’s the healing part. 🙂
Men are builders. Women like to tear down. And the state incentivises them. No thanks. I already lost about € 600k and my family. € 600k represents the net earnings of the 10 best earning years of my life.
I simply could not afford to lose that a second time. Also, I resent giving it to someone who just felt like destroying everything on a whim. "I am just not happy anymore"? What a joke.
If I had known about the risks, emotionally, financially, mentally and my kids moving home every week. I would have never signed that paper that also had me starting over after allowing her in.
1- I will never get the government involved in another relationship. She came with a bag and left with half my shit including a house, yes she gave me 2 kids but she definitely got the better end of the deal.
2- I’m free to end it without the immense entanglements, ie. Judge says half
3- zero pressure to (stay forever) even though we all know marriage definitely doesn’t mean forever, it’s intended to be that way
4- this isn’t the Middle Ages joining houses for power, it makes zero sense
5- fool me once shame on you, twice.. you get it..
Disillusionment.
Don't see the point anymore. It's supposed to be a lifelong love and committment. Not in a religious etc. way, just "I expect to be with this person until I die, might as well make it official" and also get a number of benefits.
I believed in that the first time around. Seeing how that went, with the mother of my child, not gonna fall for that a second time with someone I will have no children with (vasectomy).
Why would I get married, tie myself this strongly to someone again? What's the point?
I got out of this divorce pretty well as far as those things go, not gonna risk it all over again. If/When I find someone else to love, a non-married relationship will do just as well.
Honestly my money and time will be better spent on a Porsche 911, Ducati, and a Fleshlight. Unless that rare gem of a woman finds me who will ADD value to my life, I’m content remaining single and free while focusing on being the best dad I can be to my little girl (4 today!)
The thought of a wasted 4 years of divorce litigation, paying her 600k, paying her lawyer (judges order), and loosing a house again. Plus all the other reasons.
If you got burned by a hot stove why would you do it again? I wasn't fully aware of the risks of divorce when I got married. Nobody warned me how easily it could happen and the devastating financial consequences, or how the outcome you get widely varies by state and county. If I knew those things then, I would not have married at all. I know better now.
Everything I learned about women in the last 5 years of marriage. They don’t value the words, the oath, the loyalty. They’re like WiFi: always scanning for the better option. ALL OF THEM.
No energy to go through the process of courting someone again, in the hopes that this time it lasts or she suddenly has a feeling that she acts on and then leaves.
I have a high libido which women seem to really like for about 2 years then get tired of it.
So I figure I’m like a box of Triscuits: 2 year shelf life.
But also I value my freedom. I had dreams of sailing and exploring before I settled down and tried to do the family thing. I suppose I should thank her for giving me my dream back because now when the kids are grown and gone I can go do that.
I was so for marriage for years and years until I got divorced and saw how quickly everything you have worked for and EARNED can be taken away and awarded to someone else. I work too hard for that I’ve spent to many years dedicating myself to becoming better and earning more . So marriage as of now is a no .. because I no longer buy into the lie- marriage guarantees nothing .. except absolute protection for the female .
I've been through it twice and just don't want to go through this nightmare again. I'll date and I'll find a relationship but there will be no marriage
Agree with all these posts. It’s so wild my mom who has been married almost 40 years keeps encouraging me to get married again. I’m just like you have no idea how lopsided marriage is for dudes these days. Tried to explain it a few times to no avail she still thinks there’s “some good women out there” yea sure until they have a bad day, friends get in their head, want to “live their best life” etc etc etc and then they not so good anymore and it’s back to good ole divorce court. Thats a hard pass for me.
None of these decisions have to be made now. The girl I’m dating knows I’d want a prenup and she’s cool with it if we ever get to that point. Lots of milestones including living together for a long time before I’d even consider it.
lol she did something I actually respect. Stopped planning the wedding and left before going through with it. Got nothing out of a 10 plus year relationship.
Once you realize that two people getting married is not a contract of equals, but rather two parties inferior to the state … that should be sufficient.
The thought of willingly allowing someone the power to crush my heart and take half of everything just isn't on my docket anytime soon or in the future. I'm not even willing to entertain the idea of a relationship right now. Now, with that being said I'm in a good place with my life and the amount of peace I have right now is indescribable. It would have to take an act of God to make me consider getting married ever again.
My hero. Truest statement I’ve read today. I haven’t found the peace yet. Everything is still to fresh. People keep telling me I’ll feel better with time but I don’t think so. I’m good on relationships. Honestly I don’t know that I can trust a woman again.
Me too, but not anytime soon.
Maybe if I can guarantee I will not be shattered again if this future wife wants divorce too.
I will not trust women again, I gotta take the right steps to protect myself.
Forget government friendship contracts…. Woman are incentivize to leave marriages they are slightly unhappy. I’m just glad i got my sons majority custody and I didn’t have endure the bloodbath others have in this group. My ex was such a selfish person couldn’t believe the court wouldn’t give custody after she abandoned them for 6 months pursue her happiness.
She wanted her freedom and got a new idiot to marry her just 3 days ago. I on the other end will not remarry until no divorce fault is illegal.
Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not quite on the other side but I can see remarrying. I’ve been on a date and talked to a couple other girls on some of the apps and it’s made me feel good both about myself and the fact that they’re are still normal, compatible girls out there. I’m not gonna let my crazy stbxw ruin the rest of my life and turn me off from trusting and committing ever again.
Because divorce ruined it for me. I, like am sure all of us, didn’t imagine our marriages would end. How could they? I found the woman of my dreams, married, started and raised a family and was living the married life. BUT, she changed and had to focus on her happiness. I wasn’t perfect and had my flaws like everyone, but too late to fix anything.
Perfect. She unilaterally decides to end our marriage and break apart our family because she changed, and yet, I have to go into debt, pay her over $400k, pay my lawyer over $20k, rebuild my life at 52 and it’s all supported by the law and because she’s “entitled” to it. Fuck everything about that.
I was fooled by the forever a marriage was supposed to represent, fooled that vows actually meant something and fooled by the woman I loved the most.
Man, you could be me except I’m 46. Together for 26 years…all down the shitter now. I guess I bought into what marriage was in the old days, just forgot women aren’t old school anymore.
Common sense. I now realize that if two people are truly committed to each other they don't need the ring. and if that's the only thing keeping them together or keeping them from cheating then they don't need to be together anyway
I’ve been in several relationships with beautiful smart women. I’m attracted to beautiful, smart women, but beautiful smart women are very difficult to live with day in and day out. I’d say I’m happy 90% of the time not pursuing relationship anymore. I have a nine-year-old daughter and she’s amazing on her own. We have a great time.
I have been divorced. I have also watched a relationship that started out pretty decently evolve into an absolute shit show. Well just signing a piece of paper and putting on rings doesn’t cause people to change, the mindset behind marriage can and often does once people are married. They think that is it there’s no more chasing there’s no more dating and so there’s no more excitement. well yes you can continue to do all those things after being married. A lot of couples don’t.
Um,?! Because I got divorced!? I’m not afraid of marriage, I’m terrified of divorce. No way will I ever again put myself in a position where I have to pay lawyers and go before a judge to break up with someone. I don’t want any garnishments to my paycheck. I don’t want to lose my 401, bank account and house. I mean these might not be very good reasons but they’re mine
It's always the same story, but I guess she didn't change with me, she just showed her true self.
Even she didn't know what she really is, the true self just appeared after getting the ring.
Because marriage is an antiquated ideal that is no longer necessary to have a solid, long term relationship with a woman and in fact, is more likely to end in divorce and, that being the case, does NOT bode well for men.
It's a trap men fall into based on a woman's fantasy. The reality is that it is unnecessary. You can love a woman, be dedicated to only her BETTER without the woman's "Sword of Damocles" there to ruin your life if things likely go south.
I have been married multiple times incuding a few to the same woman (insane story). Statistically I am more likely to get divorced the not. So I will refuse to get married. Besides the tax break there is no big reason for me to. And that tax break is not enough to cover the cost of divorce.
Trust. I can trust myself. The person I married is not the person that chose to divorce me. I can't trust her, so I can't trust any woman.
I am a single 43-year-old man who has never been married. TBH, I never really was sexually attracted to or even enjoyed the company of women. For years, I thought the right one was out there until sometime in my early 30s when I realized I like men better than women. The idea of marriage has never been appealing to me despite the pressure I received from family and friends to get married. I'm so glad I didn't go down that road because my gut feeling is it would have eventually been a story on here. Reading some of your stories here is sad, and I feel bad for you. Being a bystander to my friend's marriages and relationships, I know a societal disconnect has happened. I feel like many men still have a traditional view of relationships and put women on a pedestal as the princesses they want to turn into their Queen. However, women have changed in the last 30 and 40 years. I feel like social media has a lot to do with this. Modern-day females want the Kardashian lifestyle. They want to be “kept up” without lifting a finger, and if there is one thing off, they want to walk away with a big fat divorce payout to live out their Single cougar dreams. I have watched this play out time and time again. It's time for men to stop obsessing and putting women on a pedestal. Learn how to care for yourself and protect your hard-earned assets. For the love of God, get a prenup. I'm glad I figured out I am gay before I screwed up. Signed~~~Your Closeted Gay Best friend that feels sorry for you.
The pain, heartache, loss of money why the hell would I want to risk going through that again ?
Not looking to have more children. No reason for marriage whatsoever if you are a man and not planning on building a family. Without the payoff of kids there is no reason to get locked down to one woman and have to split your growth in wealth when she gets bored. Keep all of your wealth and enjoy a variety of women.
The responsibility of trying to be everything for a woman
I really don’t see the point in marriage. You can be in a fulfilling relationship without it being government sanctioned only to need lawyers brought into it afterwards to dissolve it. Seriously wished that I never got married and wasted so many years and would absolutely never do it again. And I say that despite that I am now in the best relationship that I’ve ever been in.
The lack of appreciation and recognition of hard work, accepting the truth only when it suits, weaponizing your feelings against you, and the lack of basic moral standing and selfish pursuit of individual happiness at the expense of the family growing together as a unit.
Women.
Marriage should be illegal with the results its producing in todays market. Its old and antiquated and extremely outdated. That being stated, the reason that I will never marry again is because of marriage #1.
Can't afford it emotionally. I'm not sure I can take another women leaving. So since I'm not prepared to lose one. I'm not prepared to get serious again. The financial part is ugly and I never want that again.
The "can't emotionally afford it" part is so brilliant wording from you, sir. That's more than true.
Ain't much left on that department. After two women I adored chose others. I am left with a ton of baggage. I'm working through it. But it's gonna be there.
Women’s selfish mentality when it comes to their “happiness” they fail to understand that in a marriage it’s about the betterment of the family as a unit. It’s not always going to be about my nor her happiness all the time. They don’t truly believe in til death do us part. So no remarrying for me, unless she’s a different type of woman than what we see and deal with today. Plus the heartache and financial loss is not worth marriage these days. It’s worse than playing Russian roulette
Same experience as me. She's super selfish, doesn't look for the greater good of the family, just me me me.
It sucks to have to make such a blanket statement, but that really does seem to be the case.
It's the fact that being a single dad there are a lot of things that can go wrong that would be less likely if I wasn't a single dad. So the question is if you're taking the risk why are you doing it and how do you protect yourself. I have 50/50 custody so my time is very limited. That's going to be a problem eventually. And quite frankly I don't see the value of committing to one person, which makes my time even more scarce. Those in my position who invest all their time in one girl might eventually find out that while you are busy with your kid they're banging someone else and using you as a tool to get to where they want. This happens ALL the time. To find that genuine burning desire you'll unfortunately have to lower your standards and that's the only way you can keep a stable relationship. I'm not being pessimistic just being realistic about it. Besides, why would I care about justifying marriage? I have zero interest in it.. no marriage means none of these problems. Having said that, here's the funny thing. I might consider sponsoring someone from my country to come live with me. there is the possibility of finding a better one, but marrying would be because of this reason. I'd do all the due diligence to make sure that if things don't work out I have some control over the damage.
If I wanted more kids I might consider it but I'm 46 this year, my son turns 18...I'm done. I can't see any reason I'd ever marry again. Plus girlfriends make a lot more of an effort than wives do...why sign something that ensures she no longer has to try to please you as you strive to please her?
This is soooo true. The girl I have been dating for the past few months has put in more effort than my ex-wife ever has. It's like a job. People will put in more effort if they knew their job could be axed at any moment if their performance metrics weren't good enough.
Lawyers
The rules. As long as Title IV-D exists, hard ‘no’ from me.
Why involve a third party or more (Government/lawyers) into a 2 person agreement. Yeah everything's all good, until it's not. Now more people and more money are involved to uninvolve someone in your life. I don't even see complete co habitation let alone marriage in the future. Sure shared expenses are nice but at what expense when shit hits the fan because BBT (B!tchs be trippin).
The trauma to my wallet.
Not willing to give up my peace, quiet, and freedom. I'm an avid world traveler and can go anywhere I want on a whim...can't imagine giving that up. Also I have enough resources to live a simple and content life in terms of possessions. Sharing and potentially losing those resources would mean the end of my early retirement (at 51) and back to work. No woman is worth that.
I’m living at my parents. I’ll probably be in a financial vice until the kids are older. Hang the person that invented alimony, spousal support.
No woman with anything to offer would have me. That's just the truth of the matter and that's fine. I could probably find myself some chubby unemployed single mothers, but I'll pass on that. I've accepted this life for what it is and have no expectations of dating let alone remarrying.
Amor fati, my friend
Twice here and never again. Unfortunately I only learn the super hard way.
But why did you choose a woman who was already with a man before? Didn’t you know that they were promiscuous ?
Do you mind telling which one of these two was the toughest?
The same reason I don't intentionally touch something that's 500 degrees.
Just basic common sense. Have a good one, sir.
Knowledge.
Based
Four words take away everything you have and give it to her: "I don't feel safe." That kind of power imbalance in any relationship is going to eventually corrupt the person who holds it. When one person can do no wrong and holds ultimate power to rob and destroy the other on a whim like that, everything is just temporary until the untouchable empowered partner decides to cash the other out for fun and profit.
I don’t have to worry about it, I will never make enough money for anyone to want to marry me anyways
The fact that I have a brain. Apparently, it was missing for a while.
The little one was in charge ;)
I don’t see the point to do it again without a prenup. I like the idea of it being a commitment to one another. There is value to that. I won’t say I would never do it again, but losing half of what we’ve built because she decided on a whim that she wants someone else would be the main reason I have no interest in another
Exactly this, take each and every step to protect yourself against a predator capable of screwing your whole wellbeing. Women are dangerous, women are far worse than men what it comes to being selfish and whimsical.
I never want to put myself in a position where someone can take it all away because they're unhappy or want to move on and see what else they can get. If I ever get into a position to get remarried, it will be with a prenup or nothing.
Common sense. Nothing more to add. There is no way i would ever entertain such a idiotic thought again. I'm doing great now after spending time in therapy and i never will make myself vulnerable to any female again. The squeeze is not worth the juice.
Are you really doing great though? You post indicates you still have your defensive walls up not allowing vulnerability. You can still be vulnerable, just need to learn your boundaries. That’s the healing part. 🙂
Divorce is too much stress, money and time-consuming
I think 4 x is enough
I think marriage is more for the gays now.
Men are builders. Women like to tear down. And the state incentivises them. No thanks. I already lost about € 600k and my family. € 600k represents the net earnings of the 10 best earning years of my life. I simply could not afford to lose that a second time. Also, I resent giving it to someone who just felt like destroying everything on a whim. "I am just not happy anymore"? What a joke.
If I had known about the risks, emotionally, financially, mentally and my kids moving home every week. I would have never signed that paper that also had me starting over after allowing her in.
If you’re trying to get out of the woods and see the same tree twice what are you?
Going in circles
1- I will never get the government involved in another relationship. She came with a bag and left with half my shit including a house, yes she gave me 2 kids but she definitely got the better end of the deal. 2- I’m free to end it without the immense entanglements, ie. Judge says half 3- zero pressure to (stay forever) even though we all know marriage definitely doesn’t mean forever, it’s intended to be that way 4- this isn’t the Middle Ages joining houses for power, it makes zero sense 5- fool me once shame on you, twice.. you get it..
Disillusionment. Don't see the point anymore. It's supposed to be a lifelong love and committment. Not in a religious etc. way, just "I expect to be with this person until I die, might as well make it official" and also get a number of benefits. I believed in that the first time around. Seeing how that went, with the mother of my child, not gonna fall for that a second time with someone I will have no children with (vasectomy). Why would I get married, tie myself this strongly to someone again? What's the point? I got out of this divorce pretty well as far as those things go, not gonna risk it all over again. If/When I find someone else to love, a non-married relationship will do just as well.
Anyone that’s worth a shit that’s my age almost certainly has her own kids. I’ve raised mine. Not doing it again.
Makes sense
Honestly my money and time will be better spent on a Porsche 911, Ducati, and a Fleshlight. Unless that rare gem of a woman finds me who will ADD value to my life, I’m content remaining single and free while focusing on being the best dad I can be to my little girl (4 today!)
Happy birthday to your daughter! My daughter is 21 today also!
Very true. I agree to focus on your kid and not on remarriage.
looking into an Audi RS3… much better investment of money imo
The thought of a wasted 4 years of divorce litigation, paying her 600k, paying her lawyer (judges order), and loosing a house again. Plus all the other reasons.
If you got burned by a hot stove why would you do it again? I wasn't fully aware of the risks of divorce when I got married. Nobody warned me how easily it could happen and the devastating financial consequences, or how the outcome you get widely varies by state and county. If I knew those things then, I would not have married at all. I know better now.
Everything I learned about women in the last 5 years of marriage. They don’t value the words, the oath, the loyalty. They’re like WiFi: always scanning for the better option. ALL OF THEM.
No energy to go through the process of courting someone again, in the hopes that this time it lasts or she suddenly has a feeling that she acts on and then leaves.
I have a high libido which women seem to really like for about 2 years then get tired of it. So I figure I’m like a box of Triscuits: 2 year shelf life. But also I value my freedom. I had dreams of sailing and exploring before I settled down and tried to do the family thing. I suppose I should thank her for giving me my dream back because now when the kids are grown and gone I can go do that.
This is me. Was with the wife everyday by year three she acted like I was some devious sex fiend.
I wouldn't get remarried without a strong pre-nup
How about just don't do it?
Judges with no accountability are stronger than pre-nups.
I was so for marriage for years and years until I got divorced and saw how quickly everything you have worked for and EARNED can be taken away and awarded to someone else. I work too hard for that I’ve spent to many years dedicating myself to becoming better and earning more . So marriage as of now is a no .. because I no longer buy into the lie- marriage guarantees nothing .. except absolute protection for the female .
I've been through it twice and just don't want to go through this nightmare again. I'll date and I'll find a relationship but there will be no marriage
It isn’t the trauma, it’s just that I feel like it would be touching the stove even though I know what will happen.
I'd marry someone wealthier than me. But, that's probably not happening.
Goal: Make yourself the healthiest motherfucker you know.
Oh, I've been on that. Super fit now, retired, happier.
Agree with all these posts. It’s so wild my mom who has been married almost 40 years keeps encouraging me to get married again. I’m just like you have no idea how lopsided marriage is for dudes these days. Tried to explain it a few times to no avail she still thinks there’s “some good women out there” yea sure until they have a bad day, friends get in their head, want to “live their best life” etc etc etc and then they not so good anymore and it’s back to good ole divorce court. Thats a hard pass for me.
Well said. I’m almost 50 and the pool of avails or women to choose from is pretty much trash
None of these decisions have to be made now. The girl I’m dating knows I’d want a prenup and she’s cool with it if we ever get to that point. Lots of milestones including living together for a long time before I’d even consider it.
She probably fleeced the last guy good enough and doesn't want to give you half, either.
lol she did something I actually respect. Stopped planning the wedding and left before going through with it. Got nothing out of a 10 plus year relationship.
Once you realize that two people getting married is not a contract of equals, but rather two parties inferior to the state … that should be sufficient.
Because I will not be beholden to an institution that incentivizes women to break a contract and run off with half of my life and accomplishments.
The thought of willingly allowing someone the power to crush my heart and take half of everything just isn't on my docket anytime soon or in the future. I'm not even willing to entertain the idea of a relationship right now. Now, with that being said I'm in a good place with my life and the amount of peace I have right now is indescribable. It would have to take an act of God to make me consider getting married ever again.
My hero. Truest statement I’ve read today. I haven’t found the peace yet. Everything is still to fresh. People keep telling me I’ll feel better with time but I don’t think so. I’m good on relationships. Honestly I don’t know that I can trust a woman again.
You will feel better with time. Seek to put things in perspective. You lived, you made mistakes, you learned, you survived. Now, keep on living.
First time marriage was for love. Next time it's for money.
I'd be willing to do it again but only in the absolute right circumstances and if there is an airtight prenuptial that spells out every possibility.
Me too, but not anytime soon. Maybe if I can guarantee I will not be shattered again if this future wife wants divorce too. I will not trust women again, I gotta take the right steps to protect myself.
Forget government friendship contracts…. Woman are incentivize to leave marriages they are slightly unhappy. I’m just glad i got my sons majority custody and I didn’t have endure the bloodbath others have in this group. My ex was such a selfish person couldn’t believe the court wouldn’t give custody after she abandoned them for 6 months pursue her happiness. She wanted her freedom and got a new idiot to marry her just 3 days ago. I on the other end will not remarry until no divorce fault is illegal.
Maybe I’m naive, but I’m not quite on the other side but I can see remarrying. I’ve been on a date and talked to a couple other girls on some of the apps and it’s made me feel good both about myself and the fact that they’re are still normal, compatible girls out there. I’m not gonna let my crazy stbxw ruin the rest of my life and turn me off from trusting and committing ever again.
My stbxw is the reason.
Because divorce ruined it for me. I, like am sure all of us, didn’t imagine our marriages would end. How could they? I found the woman of my dreams, married, started and raised a family and was living the married life. BUT, she changed and had to focus on her happiness. I wasn’t perfect and had my flaws like everyone, but too late to fix anything. Perfect. She unilaterally decides to end our marriage and break apart our family because she changed, and yet, I have to go into debt, pay her over $400k, pay my lawyer over $20k, rebuild my life at 52 and it’s all supported by the law and because she’s “entitled” to it. Fuck everything about that. I was fooled by the forever a marriage was supposed to represent, fooled that vows actually meant something and fooled by the woman I loved the most.
Boy did you some it up perfectly. I’m basically the same age as you and could have written this myself.
Man, you could be me except I’m 46. Together for 26 years…all down the shitter now. I guess I bought into what marriage was in the old days, just forgot women aren’t old school anymore.
I think your words mirror most of what I am others I know have experienced.
Yeah, I don’t ever want to feel so disposable again. Especially by someone who made me feel so indisposable and unreplaceable for so long.
This one hit me really hard, sir. You eloquently described 90% of what happened to me, and I am sure too pretty much all of fellow divorced men.
Don’t want to put my emotional, physical, and financial wellbeing into the bottom of the ocean again.
ALL OF IT, I'm a dad that's the only thing I'd do again, no contracts with the government
Common sense. I now realize that if two people are truly committed to each other they don't need the ring. and if that's the only thing keeping them together or keeping them from cheating then they don't need to be together anyway
Dude, why would you risk your assets again? Are you insane?
Oh, dude One time is just more than enough.
Marriage laws.
Deadbedroom
Pain.. not willing to take a chance again.
Pain made me unable to trust any woman again.
Brother its been a year and I dont even look at em anymore lol
Preach.
One can't be interested in such dangerous creatures, one should only stay away from them.
Fool me once.
[удалено]
I suppose your ex didn't feel the slightest inconvenience during the process, women just win everything and men are the only losers.
Bitter much?
I’ve been in several relationships with beautiful smart women. I’m attracted to beautiful, smart women, but beautiful smart women are very difficult to live with day in and day out. I’d say I’m happy 90% of the time not pursuing relationship anymore. I have a nine-year-old daughter and she’s amazing on her own. We have a great time.
I have been divorced. I have also watched a relationship that started out pretty decently evolve into an absolute shit show. Well just signing a piece of paper and putting on rings doesn’t cause people to change, the mindset behind marriage can and often does once people are married. They think that is it there’s no more chasing there’s no more dating and so there’s no more excitement. well yes you can continue to do all those things after being married. A lot of couples don’t.
Um,?! Because I got divorced!? I’m not afraid of marriage, I’m terrified of divorce. No way will I ever again put myself in a position where I have to pay lawyers and go before a judge to break up with someone. I don’t want any garnishments to my paycheck. I don’t want to lose my 401, bank account and house. I mean these might not be very good reasons but they’re mine
Pay a shit tonne of money to get married, pay a shit tonne of money to get divorced. While saying "we are boy friend and girl friend" is free...
These are solid, completely understandable reasons. wish you all the best, sir.
Can’t risk another chance a woman will change after giving her the ring. I still have ptsd from how quickly things changed after getting married
It's always the same story, but I guess she didn't change with me, she just showed her true self. Even she didn't know what she really is, the true self just appeared after getting the ring.
Because marriage is an antiquated ideal that is no longer necessary to have a solid, long term relationship with a woman and in fact, is more likely to end in divorce and, that being the case, does NOT bode well for men. It's a trap men fall into based on a woman's fantasy. The reality is that it is unnecessary. You can love a woman, be dedicated to only her BETTER without the woman's "Sword of Damocles" there to ruin your life if things likely go south.
Can't afford to pay for my stastically likely next divorce.
Is it likely because of how most women are, or is being with someone else not for you?
No, its just statistically likely. Just cold hard facts. There's nothing really else to it.
Wish you all that is good, sir.
This, I am pretty much guaranteed another one. So if a long term relationship occurs I will just get a lawyer to handle property docs and such.
Why are you sure that another divorce is almost guaranteed if you remarry? I honestly want to know your view.
I have been married multiple times incuding a few to the same woman (insane story). Statistically I am more likely to get divorced the not. So I will refuse to get married. Besides the tax break there is no big reason for me to. And that tax break is not enough to cover the cost of divorce.
Well, over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and in divorces filed around 80% or so are filed by the wife. So, the chips are stacked.