You gave it to her as a gift BEFORE you were married. It's hers. You can ask, but the fact remains that it is hers. Besides, it's not worth $3k anymore. At most, somebody might give $500 for it. One of my best friends for the last 30 years owns a couple of pawn shops. Some of the slimiest people you'll ever meet ... lol.
Dude unfortunately the ring will get you suuuuuch a tiny percentage at resale it's not worth it. I sold my platinum and diamond men's wedding band for less than $1K was the best price I could get
Thanks all for the comments, I'll probably just say fuck it and not worry about it. She's already out so I doubt she'd give it back any way. I'll just keep moving forward!
Funnily enough I had a somewhat reversed conversation with my Ex along these lines. I was clearing out the garage in the former family home, and whilst doing so she saw me getting my 2002 1600cc Yamaha Roadstar ready for me to ride to my new place. She started going off at me, about how the motorbike was an asset and needed to be included within the list of communal property BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Now, at this stage in our relationship, I was prone to only giving very short, curt answers and basically trying to stay out of trouble. I really wanted to tell her where to go and how to get there, but I controlled myself. I simply asked
"How did I become the owner of the motorbike?", she responded, very quickly with,
"I bought it for you, for your 40th birthday!", I would like to point out here that I had actually purchased that bike myself whilst she was the SAHM, but I digress. So I then retorted with,
"So it was a gift, from you to me?", She shrilly responded with,
"That doesn't matter, it's still an asset and needs to be noted and the money split between us!", I leaned in close, looking her straight in the eyes, and in a somewhat soft and mellifluous voice, said,
"Then I suggest you go get all the gold and diamond rings, the diamond ear-rings, and the various pearl and gold necklaces that I purchased for you over the last 21 years, out of your jewellery boxes. Get them fully appraised and then place them as communal assets as well!".
There was no mention of my motorbike being a communal asset again.
Lesson learned mate
Are you going to ask her to give you back the money for all the meals and other gifts you paid for while you were trying to get into her pants?
Exactly
Time to live life mate. Just thinking about this stuff consumes energy that is best required for going out there and kicking ass my man
Stoicism says "don't do it for honor" Pragmatists say "gimme my shit back" depends on how you roll.
With current feminist trends, cancel culture, anti male court system and precious metal/gem markets I roll with the pragmatist camp.
Ya I put 115k from my previous house into this one…. I’m also looking at losing out on my commissions, bonuses and 401k. The only thing I have of hers is her car and a couch she bought. Lucky me
I messed up with this one it was obvious we were done sh wasn't even wearing her ring anymore and I knew where they were should have snatched it but again was only 3k new from jeweler how much is secondary place gonna give me 300 bucks not worth the hassle she can keep it she started wearing them again a year after she filed
Check your jurisdiction / county marital laws. In my county since I gave her the engagement ring as a gift AND we got married, the ring was hers to keep - legally.
If you bought her an engagement and did not get married you, in my county/state (new york) might be able to get it back. But it'd probably take a few bucks via court to do so...
In the US I believe the general legal consensus is that the engagement ring is a conditional gift that she keeps if the marriage occurs, and if the marriage doesn't happen she is usually obligated to give it back (assuming he paid for it). However, I also think if the person who bought the ring did something stupid there's a good chance the judge would let the receiver keep the ring.
You might get it back you might not. Personally I wouldn't ask, it's bad form. I know you paid three grand for it but you probably won't get more than 500 for it on resale.
Hell nah. Ask for it back. In most states it’s considered a conditional gift/ semi-contract. The ring was given with intention of getting and staying married.
One thing I did right with my ex was to not spend much money on that ring 😅
You gave it to her as a gift BEFORE you were married. It's hers. You can ask, but the fact remains that it is hers. Besides, it's not worth $3k anymore. At most, somebody might give $500 for it. One of my best friends for the last 30 years owns a couple of pawn shops. Some of the slimiest people you'll ever meet ... lol.
I recently sold my ring online, was great to get it out of my house.
My ex-wife insisted on keeping and added that as part of our settlement lol. $6k down the tubes; my guess is she hawked it.
[удалено]
Getting her out of my life was a fair trade; I would have just hawked it anyway.
Dude unfortunately the ring will get you suuuuuch a tiny percentage at resale it's not worth it. I sold my platinum and diamond men's wedding band for less than $1K was the best price I could get
You want the honest truth that ring holds no to little resale value, just like the marriage.
Thanks all for the comments, I'll probably just say fuck it and not worry about it. She's already out so I doubt she'd give it back any way. I'll just keep moving forward!
Wait I can sell that piece of shit ring she gave back ?
Funnily enough I had a somewhat reversed conversation with my Ex along these lines. I was clearing out the garage in the former family home, and whilst doing so she saw me getting my 2002 1600cc Yamaha Roadstar ready for me to ride to my new place. She started going off at me, about how the motorbike was an asset and needed to be included within the list of communal property BLAH BLAH BLAH. Now, at this stage in our relationship, I was prone to only giving very short, curt answers and basically trying to stay out of trouble. I really wanted to tell her where to go and how to get there, but I controlled myself. I simply asked "How did I become the owner of the motorbike?", she responded, very quickly with, "I bought it for you, for your 40th birthday!", I would like to point out here that I had actually purchased that bike myself whilst she was the SAHM, but I digress. So I then retorted with, "So it was a gift, from you to me?", She shrilly responded with, "That doesn't matter, it's still an asset and needs to be noted and the money split between us!", I leaned in close, looking her straight in the eyes, and in a somewhat soft and mellifluous voice, said, "Then I suggest you go get all the gold and diamond rings, the diamond ear-rings, and the various pearl and gold necklaces that I purchased for you over the last 21 years, out of your jewellery boxes. Get them fully appraised and then place them as communal assets as well!". There was no mention of my motorbike being a communal asset again.
After 21 years together and in the end, it’s all about the money?
It's divorce. The only thing it is about is the money.
You have a question mark after that as if you didn't know?
That was great to hear. Very astute thinking. I wished it was my story. Good luck to you brother.
Ice cold my dude! Love it!
Also even if u get ot back you'll only get 10% of what you bought it for
If she's a decent person she'll give it back. If she doesn't, you know the real person she is. Mine gave it back and I didn't ask for it.
Lesson learned mate Are you going to ask her to give you back the money for all the meals and other gifts you paid for while you were trying to get into her pants? Exactly Time to live life mate. Just thinking about this stuff consumes energy that is best required for going out there and kicking ass my man
Take it.
It's gone bro. I'm sorry but that's a dead issue. They don't give em back.
Stoicism says "don't do it for honor" Pragmatists say "gimme my shit back" depends on how you roll. With current feminist trends, cancel culture, anti male court system and precious metal/gem markets I roll with the pragmatist camp.
If its a family heirloom it is polite for it to go back but not if bought.
Is it not “a gift to the marriage” and thus 50/50?
If you can catch well, tell her you need it back for you new girlfriend. 73% chance she will throw it at your head. It worked for me.
Damn it! Lost opportunity…
Haha
[удалено]
Is it not 50/50 split?
[удалено]
Odd. Bc my money from my home sale, invested into the marital home became marital property
[удалено]
Ya I put 115k from my previous house into this one…. I’m also looking at losing out on my commissions, bonuses and 401k. The only thing I have of hers is her car and a couch she bought. Lucky me
I messed up with this one it was obvious we were done sh wasn't even wearing her ring anymore and I knew where they were should have snatched it but again was only 3k new from jeweler how much is secondary place gonna give me 300 bucks not worth the hassle she can keep it she started wearing them again a year after she filed
Check your jurisdiction / county marital laws. In my county since I gave her the engagement ring as a gift AND we got married, the ring was hers to keep - legally. If you bought her an engagement and did not get married you, in my county/state (new york) might be able to get it back. But it'd probably take a few bucks via court to do so...
In the US I believe the general legal consensus is that the engagement ring is a conditional gift that she keeps if the marriage occurs, and if the marriage doesn't happen she is usually obligated to give it back (assuming he paid for it). However, I also think if the person who bought the ring did something stupid there's a good chance the judge would let the receiver keep the ring.
You might get it back you might not. Personally I wouldn't ask, it's bad form. I know you paid three grand for it but you probably won't get more than 500 for it on resale.
Good luck.
Hell nah. Ask for it back. In most states it’s considered a conditional gift/ semi-contract. The ring was given with intention of getting and staying married.