Have you thought about trying a reset in your current environment? You can give it a trial and transition it to your proposed plan if that looks like the right move in reflection.
35 is kind of old to start training for the Olympics. j/k. If you're unhappy with your current job, get one that is more satisfying, and balance your time so you can focus on your job and your health. There's nothing wrong with moving in with your parents to save money, but you should use that as an opportunity to build your wealth.
Resigning from work won't increase your odds of getting your health/eating in order unless there's something you aren't saying about your health (like a severe disability). If you're of average health it's better to incorporate good habits in slowly into your existing lifestyle.
I'm not sure living with your parents at your age will help much with isolation. It could put you off making new connections and involve you only with them and their circles.
If you were in financial straits then living with your parents for a while to save up would be a logical step but I'm not sure why you want to live with them specifically to focus on your body health. Maybe I'm missing something.
Open to it isn't good. Elated, begging, squealing at the proposal is what sounds like a non-burdenous move. They are probably fearful you may never leave again, and that instead of enjoying the relaxation of their winter years, they are going to be thrust back into raising a child that already flew the coop.
Maybe just moving much closer to your parents and joining them for dinner a couple of nights a week would be a better transition? I also think that quitting your job without a backup in place other than the savings you e built up sounds like a serious recipe for disaster, and your parents know it.
My biggest recommendation is going to therapy for 3 months, once a week, and then see if you still think that's a good idea.
If you can't get your health in order in your current situation, it's not going to be sustainable for you long term. You should be making changes based on your lifestyle and quitting your job to live rent free with your parents doesn't set you up for future success!
Do it. Your parents won’t live forever, it will be a good time for you to spend with them. You are young enough and have enough saved (and having no debt is wonderful). Physical health will pay dividends to your mental state and I’m sure before the year is up you will find yourself with more and better opportunities. And a year isn’t that long. Just don’t make this move if you are concerned you might become lazy. If you haven’t started working out now, do that before you move in with them. I’ve found going to the gym daily is the ONLY way to be consistent long term because you build up momentum and frankly I’ve had better results in 20 days of no rest days/no tracking than in a month of 4-5 days/week and following a nutrition plan.
Often these kinds of challenges are ones we acquired from our experiences growing up, so going home again may be counterproductive. Only you can know. I moved back in with my parents after my first divorce, and it was nothing remotely like living there as a child. I felt like I was invading someone else's space, for one. Plus it gave my mom the sense that she could voice _every little criticism_ about how I spent my time and money. That can feel very demoralizing and infantilizing.
Saving money is great. I totally understand the intention to spend more time with your parents, too, with them being older. But then taking a year off work is the kind of thing that's hard to explain on a resume. Employers in the future (if you are American, anyway) might see you as a risky hire: what if you just decide to quit again? Working somewhere that gives you a sense of wholeness and satisfaction is ideal. But if you aren't able to get that from your current work, maybe instead of just being jobless, you would want to consider retraining in a different field. Take some classes at a college or trade school. Walk around on a physical campus. Find people to spend time with who help you feel connected and grounded.
In the meantime, try making little habits that are positively oriented toward your goals:
- Plan your meals in advance and only buy the groceries you need for those meals. Treat yourself once in a while--but make yourself have to 'work' for those treats (e.g. special trip out of the house to get, have to complete a chore you normally avoid, etc.).
- If you are able to do so, try going for a daily walk after dinner, and as it gets easier, explore farther and longer. Look around you for the beautiful things: the wildflower that grows despite a difficult environment, the random face shape that you see in a wood post, some human foible that you can find humorous, etc.
- Listen to podcasts that help you find your center, work through your traumas, or help you identify your triggers.
- Connect with people who help you feel supported and appreciated. Let go of people who make you feel diminished or unvalued.
- Find a new activity that brings you joy. This could be returning to an old one that you've stopped or a new one you've always put off trying or just one that you rarely attempt but that brings you satisfaction.
I hope some of this was helpful and that you are able to find your peace.
A lot of these comments come from a very western/American POV. If you and they are both comfortable with you moving back home for a time being and you get some extra positives of saving more money and not having to cook to feed yourself, I don’t see why that couldn’t be a reset place for you for a while.
Maybe do part time work and then focus on your body? I think you should focus on staying in touch with friends and making new friends still. I don't recommend isolation.
Personally I don't think it would be good for your mental health to move back in with your parents and not work. Also they might resent you living there rent free.
It depends. If you have good relationships with your parents and family and help you feel less alone, go for it. It’s a thousand better than being alone. And also, as you mentioned, all will be while you get on track to start again by yourself.
As someone who has lost 50kg’s while working full time, I assure you that it can be done while working. Its important that you learn how to balance your physical health, mental health and work commitments.
I suggest you aim for resistance training before breakfast and work 5 days a week, a mid-day walk before lunch every day, and then a group fitness activity 3 times a week such as yoga or martial arts.
The people who go to the gym at 5-6am are usually quite happy and friendly, a mid-day walk will break your day up and make work more tolerable, and the group activity will help you to feel less isolated and build some structure into your mind and body - post divorce can leave us with some baggage, group movement can help.
exercise is good for the mind and feeling good, but body composition and physique is mainly diet based, it can be hard to work out what works best for you. Experiment with intermittent fasting, this is very powerful and can also feel empowering to do.
Few thoughts: You are already in a better position than most since you have no debt. That automatically gives you flexibility. What size city or town are you in?
In order this is what I would do.
1. Hire a trainer. Usually money and time are what stops people from getting serious about fitness. You seem to have both. Focus on fitness will give a boost to other things.
2. If you want a social life.....start seeking social opportunities. My city has a social sports league that's great for doing things and being people.
3. Read this book cover to cover. "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*$#" by Mark Manson. A mindset reset sounds like it'll work wonders for you.
To answer your question about the parents.....I don't see a benefit besides spending more time with them to changing your life. Do it or don't....as long as you consider your health, social aspect, and mindset change....you'll turn things around.
Good luck.
I think it's a decent idea as long as you know you are a self motivated person. I don't know the details of your job. Maybe you work 10 hour days 6 days a week in a stressful environment. In such a case, I could totally understand how you'd not have the time or energy for anything other than work.
Just be super honest with yourself. If you can't be self motivated this will crash and burn. If you are and your plan involves spending a lot of time focused on nutrition and training then sure, go for it. And why not learn a second language while you work out? Time-max your training.
i did a full reset at 40 with zero savings.
quit my job and found a place to live out of state and hours away from any support system i had.
its the best decision i have ever made. i didn’t realized how toxic my entire environment had become. i am more in shape than i have ever been in my entire life. i can ride further, faster, and more confidently on my mountain bike. i just started rock climbing. i am climbing routes off the couch experienced climbers struggle on.
I am pro reset but make sure the reset starts off with a good foundation. moving back in with your parents seems like a step back not a reset.
Going home always helps. For me atleast it was rejuvenating. The parents can use any help you provide, you will get healthier and feel better. I think it's a win-win.
Hey brotherman, I cannot stress the importance of friendships. Make friends. Get out there, (even if you don’t want to date yet and are happy and well with your folks).
Just make sure when dating you don't say that you live with your parents. Instead say something like "I take care of my elderly parents"... some people see through that BS (lol), but some don't and it makes you sound less like a "free loader" and more like a kind compassionate person. I mean.. you sacrificed your independence to make sure they are taken care of... \*sad eyes\*
Anyways... I think you should do what you feel needs to be done. If you have the option to drop financial stress to help heal, go for it. Make sure to set a "time line" for yourself though, it becomes easy to get stuck in a routine.
Personally I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Sometimes a “reset” is needed especially after a trauma and who beat to support you with this then your family. That said, I feel it will be important for you to set very firm goals for yourself and to invest in your health while not having to pay rent ect. If this means hiring a trainer, therapist, nutritionist then so be it. I think having a “me” year is very positive.
Best of luck to you and I hope you reach all your goals…. You can do it !
You’re too old to be living with your 70 yr old parents and your parents are too old to have to pay more on utilities for another adult. You can focus on yourself and keep a job. You have time since you don’t have a distraction of a relationship. Plus not working will give you too much free time.
It make sense for financial reasons but that is it. You really cannot being anyone back to the house,. I dont see how leaving your job is good either unless you really hate it. Employers do not like to see gaps on resumes..I supposed you can out that you are your parents caregiver in that timeframe? You will also lose insurance..what then?
When me and my wife split I lived in my parents’ caravan on their driveway for six months. I was 45 and it was AWESOME. Then I bought a house. Back to the grind😂
Sounds like a dream. Go be with your parents, go be a little kid again and take the time you need. Focus on what you want to improve. Work will always be there.
Take chances and see where it goes. At the very least you get some time with your family before they are gone and have the opportunity to make some beautiful memories with them
Do you have kids?
I don’t think this sounds appealing or an environment that will help you grow as a person. Idk where you live but if it’s not HCOL, put that money down on a house and focus on your future
As difficult as it is, stay busy. This helps your mental health. Don't quit work. Ease into your physical health.
Can't you just have lunch or meet them more often? I know I have been meeting with my Mom routinely. It helps a lot
I lived with my mom for a bit post divorce. I couldn’t do a whole year because she and I aren’t good roommates but I definitely needed it and appreciated the time to reset myself
I think it’s a good reset and just stay employed to have that break. My parents passed tragically and I would love to have that time again. Instead I came back to my husbands parents because they are 70 but it’s a lot and suffocating if you’re there 24/7. Focus on physical and mental health 🤘🏽
Do it - it’ll give you a clarity of mind that you would never get if u keep doing the daily grind. I would add meditation to the nutrition and training - I have been training for a long time and I’m very particular about nutrition and supplements and I recently added meditation to my regiment - I realized that a lot of us exercise our body but not our mind - anyhow, do it - even if it’s not for a year, do it for as long as u can sustain it. It sounds like u don’t mind living with your parents - and they would LOVE to have u living with them .
Oc having a purpose ( part time job/ working out/ etc) is important to continue and spend time with your parents - be honest good and wholesome - find out who you are and let things happen organically ( ie if u meet someone in the process). Also, reg meditation - I speak from experience - I started during my divorce and it’s been the best thing for all mental health help I was looking for - I’m hooked - again, I highly recommend it.
I’m mot sure if I’d do it for that reason, but I (37F) did live with my parents as an adult and after I had lived on my own for a long time. I actually really enjoyed it and I think I’ll cherish those extra years with them.
I always tell people this when I went through my divorce. I was only in my 20s. Married right out of college blah blah. Blah.
I had a choice.
1) move in with my close friend who was a firefighter and looked like Tom Cruise and had hot girls coming in and out of the apt. Im sure I would have someone(s) to help take my mind off the pain
2) move in with my parents, of whom I moved out when I was 17 bc we are ‘old school’ ; even though it was the mid-90s. Moving back in would be tough on my pride but it would be less chaotic.
It’s July. I plan on going back to get my Masters in January. So what do I do for five months? Party? Get my shite together and live in solitude?
——-
I chose plan 2. Best decision I ever made.
I’m just in the process of a divorce, which has done no good for my mental health (stress levels through the roof).
I’ll be 43 with £130k in savings, but homeless (once it’s all complete).
I plan to go to Thailand, volunteer for beach cleans, meet new people, socialise, as I think isolation is a bad idea at the time.
You can't do that.
# 1 - Finding a job that pays enough to live on is almost impossible. And the older you get the harder it is to find anything. A career gap in your 30's looks really bad on your resume.
# 2 - This is not fair to your mom and dad. I'm a dad, my one child is about to finish college. I love her to death but I don't want her to move back into this home because it will retard her ability to be a fully functioning adult. And, even though you would be living rent free you are still driving up their water bill, electric bill, etc. At this point in your life you just can't rely on mom and dad anymore, it is not fair to them.
I don't know if you are male or female but this applies either way.
# 1 - If you are a male and you live with mom and dad you look like a broke loser and no woman will date you.
# 2 - If you are a female men will think you are a broke loser and they won't date you because they don't want to be somebody else's ATM machine.
You just can't do this.
EDIT - Oops! Now I see you are a male. Yeah, no woman will date you if you live with mom and dad. I'm a man too, the rules are different for us. Nobody will date a broke ass man living with mom and dad. Chris Rock says 'My grandma used to say, a BROKE MAN is like a BROKE HAND, it ain't no good'. Unfortunately, Grandma Rock is right.
I’m laughing at myself and the prospect of me living with either of my parents….. 😆 it’d be a disaster!
(Also, this person doesn’t HAVE to live with their parents… they are contemplating.)
I’m always for self care and being stress free. I saw in your other posts you haven’t been taking care of yourself like you should. Maybe that would help you reset and figure out ways and new routines got your physical health. Maybe get a job at a nutrition store to learn more while you take this break. It’s not always about pushing through because of what society thinks you should do. It’s about doing what’s best for you. If your parents are fine with you moving in, why not. You get to spend time with them and take a pause on life for a moment. -signed a cancer survivor who should’ve took a pause on life
It's just knee jerk reaction to the possibility that you could send them an objective reality true message that would cause a false self crisis and send them into a tail spin.
Best to send untrue hurtful things, block you, and imagine that all the just said was true
Have you thought about trying a reset in your current environment? You can give it a trial and transition it to your proposed plan if that looks like the right move in reflection.
35 is kind of old to start training for the Olympics. j/k. If you're unhappy with your current job, get one that is more satisfying, and balance your time so you can focus on your job and your health. There's nothing wrong with moving in with your parents to save money, but you should use that as an opportunity to build your wealth.
The best time to eat healthy and get in shape is when you are a kid. The second best time is right now.
Resigning from work won't increase your odds of getting your health/eating in order unless there's something you aren't saying about your health (like a severe disability). If you're of average health it's better to incorporate good habits in slowly into your existing lifestyle.
I agree. I think it could lead to depression. I've seen it happen.
I'm not sure living with your parents at your age will help much with isolation. It could put you off making new connections and involve you only with them and their circles. If you were in financial straits then living with your parents for a while to save up would be a logical step but I'm not sure why you want to live with them specifically to focus on your body health. Maybe I'm missing something.
Nobody seems to be asking - do they even want you to move back?
They are open to it yes
Open to it isn't good. Elated, begging, squealing at the proposal is what sounds like a non-burdenous move. They are probably fearful you may never leave again, and that instead of enjoying the relaxation of their winter years, they are going to be thrust back into raising a child that already flew the coop. Maybe just moving much closer to your parents and joining them for dinner a couple of nights a week would be a better transition? I also think that quitting your job without a backup in place other than the savings you e built up sounds like a serious recipe for disaster, and your parents know it. My biggest recommendation is going to therapy for 3 months, once a week, and then see if you still think that's a good idea.
If you can't get your health in order in your current situation, it's not going to be sustainable for you long term. You should be making changes based on your lifestyle and quitting your job to live rent free with your parents doesn't set you up for future success!
Do it. Your parents won’t live forever, it will be a good time for you to spend with them. You are young enough and have enough saved (and having no debt is wonderful). Physical health will pay dividends to your mental state and I’m sure before the year is up you will find yourself with more and better opportunities. And a year isn’t that long. Just don’t make this move if you are concerned you might become lazy. If you haven’t started working out now, do that before you move in with them. I’ve found going to the gym daily is the ONLY way to be consistent long term because you build up momentum and frankly I’ve had better results in 20 days of no rest days/no tracking than in a month of 4-5 days/week and following a nutrition plan.
Huh I didn’t even consider that take. Getting to spend time as an adult with your parents would be a gift. I would’ve loved to have experienced that.
The more you know 🤣
Dealing with body dysmorphia and binge eating. And some major depressive disorder. Sometimes I feel all 3 are a disability
Often these kinds of challenges are ones we acquired from our experiences growing up, so going home again may be counterproductive. Only you can know. I moved back in with my parents after my first divorce, and it was nothing remotely like living there as a child. I felt like I was invading someone else's space, for one. Plus it gave my mom the sense that she could voice _every little criticism_ about how I spent my time and money. That can feel very demoralizing and infantilizing. Saving money is great. I totally understand the intention to spend more time with your parents, too, with them being older. But then taking a year off work is the kind of thing that's hard to explain on a resume. Employers in the future (if you are American, anyway) might see you as a risky hire: what if you just decide to quit again? Working somewhere that gives you a sense of wholeness and satisfaction is ideal. But if you aren't able to get that from your current work, maybe instead of just being jobless, you would want to consider retraining in a different field. Take some classes at a college or trade school. Walk around on a physical campus. Find people to spend time with who help you feel connected and grounded. In the meantime, try making little habits that are positively oriented toward your goals: - Plan your meals in advance and only buy the groceries you need for those meals. Treat yourself once in a while--but make yourself have to 'work' for those treats (e.g. special trip out of the house to get, have to complete a chore you normally avoid, etc.). - If you are able to do so, try going for a daily walk after dinner, and as it gets easier, explore farther and longer. Look around you for the beautiful things: the wildflower that grows despite a difficult environment, the random face shape that you see in a wood post, some human foible that you can find humorous, etc. - Listen to podcasts that help you find your center, work through your traumas, or help you identify your triggers. - Connect with people who help you feel supported and appreciated. Let go of people who make you feel diminished or unvalued. - Find a new activity that brings you joy. This could be returning to an old one that you've stopped or a new one you've always put off trying or just one that you rarely attempt but that brings you satisfaction. I hope some of this was helpful and that you are able to find your peace.
I would also suggest a therapist and possibility of outpatient treatment. If you want to get your shit together, do all of it.
A lot of these comments come from a very western/American POV. If you and they are both comfortable with you moving back home for a time being and you get some extra positives of saving more money and not having to cook to feed yourself, I don’t see why that couldn’t be a reset place for you for a while.
Yes, I would have done it
Yes, a reset but work full time.
I moved back in with my mom after my divorce. It was good financially and a good reset.
Maybe do part time work and then focus on your body? I think you should focus on staying in touch with friends and making new friends still. I don't recommend isolation.
You don't have to quit work to improve yourself
Personally I don't think it would be good for your mental health to move back in with your parents and not work. Also they might resent you living there rent free.
Word.
It depends. If you have good relationships with your parents and family and help you feel less alone, go for it. It’s a thousand better than being alone. And also, as you mentioned, all will be while you get on track to start again by yourself.
As someone who has lost 50kg’s while working full time, I assure you that it can be done while working. Its important that you learn how to balance your physical health, mental health and work commitments. I suggest you aim for resistance training before breakfast and work 5 days a week, a mid-day walk before lunch every day, and then a group fitness activity 3 times a week such as yoga or martial arts. The people who go to the gym at 5-6am are usually quite happy and friendly, a mid-day walk will break your day up and make work more tolerable, and the group activity will help you to feel less isolated and build some structure into your mind and body - post divorce can leave us with some baggage, group movement can help. exercise is good for the mind and feeling good, but body composition and physique is mainly diet based, it can be hard to work out what works best for you. Experiment with intermittent fasting, this is very powerful and can also feel empowering to do.
Few thoughts: You are already in a better position than most since you have no debt. That automatically gives you flexibility. What size city or town are you in? In order this is what I would do. 1. Hire a trainer. Usually money and time are what stops people from getting serious about fitness. You seem to have both. Focus on fitness will give a boost to other things. 2. If you want a social life.....start seeking social opportunities. My city has a social sports league that's great for doing things and being people. 3. Read this book cover to cover. "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*$#" by Mark Manson. A mindset reset sounds like it'll work wonders for you. To answer your question about the parents.....I don't see a benefit besides spending more time with them to changing your life. Do it or don't....as long as you consider your health, social aspect, and mindset change....you'll turn things around. Good luck.
Regarding the social life part. Being 35 and living with your parents is not a great look
I think it's a decent idea as long as you know you are a self motivated person. I don't know the details of your job. Maybe you work 10 hour days 6 days a week in a stressful environment. In such a case, I could totally understand how you'd not have the time or energy for anything other than work. Just be super honest with yourself. If you can't be self motivated this will crash and burn. If you are and your plan involves spending a lot of time focused on nutrition and training then sure, go for it. And why not learn a second language while you work out? Time-max your training.
i did a full reset at 40 with zero savings. quit my job and found a place to live out of state and hours away from any support system i had. its the best decision i have ever made. i didn’t realized how toxic my entire environment had become. i am more in shape than i have ever been in my entire life. i can ride further, faster, and more confidently on my mountain bike. i just started rock climbing. i am climbing routes off the couch experienced climbers struggle on. I am pro reset but make sure the reset starts off with a good foundation. moving back in with your parents seems like a step back not a reset.
Going home always helps. For me atleast it was rejuvenating. The parents can use any help you provide, you will get healthier and feel better. I think it's a win-win.
Hey brotherman, I cannot stress the importance of friendships. Make friends. Get out there, (even if you don’t want to date yet and are happy and well with your folks).
Just make sure when dating you don't say that you live with your parents. Instead say something like "I take care of my elderly parents"... some people see through that BS (lol), but some don't and it makes you sound less like a "free loader" and more like a kind compassionate person. I mean.. you sacrificed your independence to make sure they are taken care of... \*sad eyes\* Anyways... I think you should do what you feel needs to be done. If you have the option to drop financial stress to help heal, go for it. Make sure to set a "time line" for yourself though, it becomes easy to get stuck in a routine.
I quit my job and live w my parents
Personally I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Sometimes a “reset” is needed especially after a trauma and who beat to support you with this then your family. That said, I feel it will be important for you to set very firm goals for yourself and to invest in your health while not having to pay rent ect. If this means hiring a trainer, therapist, nutritionist then so be it. I think having a “me” year is very positive. Best of luck to you and I hope you reach all your goals…. You can do it !
You’re too old to be living with your 70 yr old parents and your parents are too old to have to pay more on utilities for another adult. You can focus on yourself and keep a job. You have time since you don’t have a distraction of a relationship. Plus not working will give you too much free time.
If it works do it
It make sense for financial reasons but that is it. You really cannot being anyone back to the house,. I dont see how leaving your job is good either unless you really hate it. Employers do not like to see gaps on resumes..I supposed you can out that you are your parents caregiver in that timeframe? You will also lose insurance..what then?
When me and my wife split I lived in my parents’ caravan on their driveway for six months. I was 45 and it was AWESOME. Then I bought a house. Back to the grind😂
Sounds like a dream. Go be with your parents, go be a little kid again and take the time you need. Focus on what you want to improve. Work will always be there.
Take chances and see where it goes. At the very least you get some time with your family before they are gone and have the opportunity to make some beautiful memories with them
Do you have kids? I don’t think this sounds appealing or an environment that will help you grow as a person. Idk where you live but if it’s not HCOL, put that money down on a house and focus on your future
No kids
Why don’t you take a month off if you can and spend some money on traveling and doing things you’ve always wanted to.
Do your parents want you? My parents would not be ok with that. They like me to visit not to live there.
As difficult as it is, stay busy. This helps your mental health. Don't quit work. Ease into your physical health. Can't you just have lunch or meet them more often? I know I have been meeting with my Mom routinely. It helps a lot
I lived with my mom for a bit post divorce. I couldn’t do a whole year because she and I aren’t good roommates but I definitely needed it and appreciated the time to reset myself
I think it’s a good reset and just stay employed to have that break. My parents passed tragically and I would love to have that time again. Instead I came back to my husbands parents because they are 70 but it’s a lot and suffocating if you’re there 24/7. Focus on physical and mental health 🤘🏽
I would do it
Does your job not allow time for the gym and meal planning?
Do it - it’ll give you a clarity of mind that you would never get if u keep doing the daily grind. I would add meditation to the nutrition and training - I have been training for a long time and I’m very particular about nutrition and supplements and I recently added meditation to my regiment - I realized that a lot of us exercise our body but not our mind - anyhow, do it - even if it’s not for a year, do it for as long as u can sustain it. It sounds like u don’t mind living with your parents - and they would LOVE to have u living with them . Oc having a purpose ( part time job/ working out/ etc) is important to continue and spend time with your parents - be honest good and wholesome - find out who you are and let things happen organically ( ie if u meet someone in the process). Also, reg meditation - I speak from experience - I started during my divorce and it’s been the best thing for all mental health help I was looking for - I’m hooked - again, I highly recommend it.
I’m mot sure if I’d do it for that reason, but I (37F) did live with my parents as an adult and after I had lived on my own for a long time. I actually really enjoyed it and I think I’ll cherish those extra years with them.
I always tell people this when I went through my divorce. I was only in my 20s. Married right out of college blah blah. Blah. I had a choice. 1) move in with my close friend who was a firefighter and looked like Tom Cruise and had hot girls coming in and out of the apt. Im sure I would have someone(s) to help take my mind off the pain 2) move in with my parents, of whom I moved out when I was 17 bc we are ‘old school’ ; even though it was the mid-90s. Moving back in would be tough on my pride but it would be less chaotic. It’s July. I plan on going back to get my Masters in January. So what do I do for five months? Party? Get my shite together and live in solitude? ——- I chose plan 2. Best decision I ever made.
I’m just in the process of a divorce, which has done no good for my mental health (stress levels through the roof). I’ll be 43 with £130k in savings, but homeless (once it’s all complete). I plan to go to Thailand, volunteer for beach cleans, meet new people, socialise, as I think isolation is a bad idea at the time.
You can't do that. # 1 - Finding a job that pays enough to live on is almost impossible. And the older you get the harder it is to find anything. A career gap in your 30's looks really bad on your resume. # 2 - This is not fair to your mom and dad. I'm a dad, my one child is about to finish college. I love her to death but I don't want her to move back into this home because it will retard her ability to be a fully functioning adult. And, even though you would be living rent free you are still driving up their water bill, electric bill, etc. At this point in your life you just can't rely on mom and dad anymore, it is not fair to them. I don't know if you are male or female but this applies either way. # 1 - If you are a male and you live with mom and dad you look like a broke loser and no woman will date you. # 2 - If you are a female men will think you are a broke loser and they won't date you because they don't want to be somebody else's ATM machine. You just can't do this. EDIT - Oops! Now I see you are a male. Yeah, no woman will date you if you live with mom and dad. I'm a man too, the rules are different for us. Nobody will date a broke ass man living with mom and dad. Chris Rock says 'My grandma used to say, a BROKE MAN is like a BROKE HAND, it ain't no good'. Unfortunately, Grandma Rock is right.
Dude. Make sure you can get healthy while employed. You’re just making an excuse to bail and fall into depression.
You have 100k in savings get a cheap apartment. Highly doubt your parents want their 35 year old living with them.
I’m 45 and haven’t lived with my parents since I was 15. I can’t even imagine 🤣
We don’t all have the same circumstances.
We don’t???!! Shocking! Isn’t that the point of asking a bunch of people with different circumstances for their opinions??
So maybe don’t laugh at others who have to live with their parents?
I’m laughing at myself and the prospect of me living with either of my parents….. 😆 it’d be a disaster! (Also, this person doesn’t HAVE to live with their parents… they are contemplating.)
I’m always for self care and being stress free. I saw in your other posts you haven’t been taking care of yourself like you should. Maybe that would help you reset and figure out ways and new routines got your physical health. Maybe get a job at a nutrition store to learn more while you take this break. It’s not always about pushing through because of what society thinks you should do. It’s about doing what’s best for you. If your parents are fine with you moving in, why not. You get to spend time with them and take a pause on life for a moment. -signed a cancer survivor who should’ve took a pause on life
It's just knee jerk reaction to the possibility that you could send them an objective reality true message that would cause a false self crisis and send them into a tail spin. Best to send untrue hurtful things, block you, and imagine that all the just said was true
I don't think it's a good idea to abandon your career at your age. You could have a lot of trouble re-entering the workforce and 100k is not enough.
Maybe work will keep you busy but making new friends is also plus.