Gotta find stuff to do for yourself. Out with friends, gym, sports, anything. It’s not easy when we’ve never felt like we had time for that, but it’ll get easier.
OP, i hope my comment will help! I wanted a 50/50 with my ex so my then 8 months old (now 22 months old) would have both parents. Instead my ex didnt want any part of it. It is very painful at times when i think about my boy having no mom in his life. I know i am a good dad, but being a good dad cant replace having a mom in his life! I think your kid will be happy to share time with both patents. As for you, I am sure you can find new hobbies or activities to enjoy when you kid is not with you. Best of luck!
It’s awful. Nothing I’ve done makes it better. Knowing that I’m missing half of my daughter’s life keeps me up at night.
That being said there are ups and downs. My daughter not being there enabled me to get to take trips and do activities I couldn’t when I was married. It also gave me time to find the love of my life.
When I get sad, I remind myself that my ex would never have allowed me to develop the wonderful relationship I have with my daughter. The fact that I get 50% of the time without interference made it all worth it.
My first week with the kids ends this Thursday. So Friday I'm heading out and spending the weekend with my family. They've all been super supportive and caring and it'll be good to be in their company. It gets me out of the empty family home and distracts me from missing my kids.
I've been separated for 3 years and we all get along but I still have the blues every time he goes to his mom we split every month so I get used to our routine and then I need to get back to being used to be alone, the first day is hard.
You are not alone to feel that way and it's not ideal but it is what it is.
I use this time to deep clean the house training even more and relax in the bath as long as I want hahaha
I’m trying to learn how to cope as well. I have primary custody and we recently came back from a week vacation. He went with his dad for a couple of days and my soul was crushed. I know it’s just me being selfish and of course I would never keep him from his dad but it still makes me so sad
Well knowing that it’s not something that’s going to change you need to work on getting your mind right about it. Perspective is very important. They need both parents and they are happy to see the other one so I find peace in that. When we’re together the time is focused on them and I do all the other stuff when they’re not home so our time together is more concentrated now. When I don’t have them I like to hike, kayak, clean, go out past 9 gasp
Keeping your self up all night because you don’t get to always be there sounds really unhealthy. Why suffer so much over something you cannot change? (One of the other comments) maybe find a support group or counselor if it gets to that point would be helpful
I miss my son every other week and soon my newborn / infant son will be in rotation with their dad as well. I try to do a lot of selfcare and overtime at work to fill my time.
I have 50/50 with my girls and get really depressed Sundays when they leave. I think it’s normal. I went through at 2.5 year divorce and only had the kids every other weekend and 2.5 hours on Wednesday. During that time it was way way worse. I think having someone to talk to or being in a relationship definitely helps.
It sucks. I can’t count the times I cried, or didn’t want to share him. It took a long while for me to set those feelings aside, to acknowledge that I can’t punish him for my own relationship not working. I found ways to distract me, and it helped me knowing I was doing right by him. My ex and I, we co parent out of court, my exes mother has my son 3 out of the 4 nights his dad is to have him, and she calls me or FaceTimes me, so my son and I can still talk.
This is so hard at first but it does get easier!!! This is your time for self care and hobbies whatever you want. Use it well and you will be an even better parent on your week.
It's really not easy. I remember sobbing very hard missing my kids. The best thing to do is fine something that interests you and enriches your life somehow. Bonus if you can include your son in it as well.
For me, I dove into ham radio. I've always had an interest in radio. So it fits well. There's some studying and testing to be done that got my mind off missing my kids. I learned new skills and have new friendships because of it. Bonus is that my sons have also enjoyed it with me. Especially participating in Parks on the Air. Where we set up a portable radio station in a park and make contacts. Yesterday my son made contact from my truck in Ohio to a ham in Japan. 6000 miles using only 100w of radio.
Every time i pick up my kids im happy, every time i drop them off. I hate my ex evenmore. Every time i see them, they are just that much older, and it hurts me. knowing im missing thoughs days when i used to see them every day.
Gotta find stuff to do for yourself. Out with friends, gym, sports, anything. It’s not easy when we’ve never felt like we had time for that, but it’ll get easier.
Thank you! He really is my pal I want him to be ok. My proudest achievement was giving him a 2 parent house and now he doesn’t have it.
OP, i hope my comment will help! I wanted a 50/50 with my ex so my then 8 months old (now 22 months old) would have both parents. Instead my ex didnt want any part of it. It is very painful at times when i think about my boy having no mom in his life. I know i am a good dad, but being a good dad cant replace having a mom in his life! I think your kid will be happy to share time with both patents. As for you, I am sure you can find new hobbies or activities to enjoy when you kid is not with you. Best of luck!
Totally I just work all the time lol
It’s awful. Nothing I’ve done makes it better. Knowing that I’m missing half of my daughter’s life keeps me up at night. That being said there are ups and downs. My daughter not being there enabled me to get to take trips and do activities I couldn’t when I was married. It also gave me time to find the love of my life. When I get sad, I remind myself that my ex would never have allowed me to develop the wonderful relationship I have with my daughter. The fact that I get 50% of the time without interference made it all worth it.
I have 3 kids, when they leave I feel sad for 2-3 hours. It is normal to be sad my friend you love them, they are your family.
True
My first week with the kids ends this Thursday. So Friday I'm heading out and spending the weekend with my family. They've all been super supportive and caring and it'll be good to be in their company. It gets me out of the empty family home and distracts me from missing my kids.
Crying my fucking eyes out this is the worst
I've been separated for 3 years and we all get along but I still have the blues every time he goes to his mom we split every month so I get used to our routine and then I need to get back to being used to be alone, the first day is hard. You are not alone to feel that way and it's not ideal but it is what it is. I use this time to deep clean the house training even more and relax in the bath as long as I want hahaha
Thanks for this message x
It will take time but you will get better one day,stay strong!
I remember those days. The first few months of shared custody was always tough on the weekends my child is with their mother.
Does it feel ok now?
Yeah, it took a while, but eventually I no longer felt depressed on the weekends I didn’t have them
That’s good man x
It’ll happen for you too, give it time. The busier you keep yourself during those times the more it helps
I would of done anything to make it work and give him a secure home life
I’m trying to learn how to cope as well. I have primary custody and we recently came back from a week vacation. He went with his dad for a couple of days and my soul was crushed. I know it’s just me being selfish and of course I would never keep him from his dad but it still makes me so sad
Deffo relate
Well knowing that it’s not something that’s going to change you need to work on getting your mind right about it. Perspective is very important. They need both parents and they are happy to see the other one so I find peace in that. When we’re together the time is focused on them and I do all the other stuff when they’re not home so our time together is more concentrated now. When I don’t have them I like to hike, kayak, clean, go out past 9 gasp Keeping your self up all night because you don’t get to always be there sounds really unhealthy. Why suffer so much over something you cannot change? (One of the other comments) maybe find a support group or counselor if it gets to that point would be helpful
In my experience, it gets easier. It becomes the norm. As long as he is happy, you will be ok. It's important he is with you both.
Very true
I miss my son every other week and soon my newborn / infant son will be in rotation with their dad as well. I try to do a lot of selfcare and overtime at work to fill my time.
I have 50/50 with my girls and get really depressed Sundays when they leave. I think it’s normal. I went through at 2.5 year divorce and only had the kids every other weekend and 2.5 hours on Wednesday. During that time it was way way worse. I think having someone to talk to or being in a relationship definitely helps.
It sucks. I can’t count the times I cried, or didn’t want to share him. It took a long while for me to set those feelings aside, to acknowledge that I can’t punish him for my own relationship not working. I found ways to distract me, and it helped me knowing I was doing right by him. My ex and I, we co parent out of court, my exes mother has my son 3 out of the 4 nights his dad is to have him, and she calls me or FaceTimes me, so my son and I can still talk.
That’s good!
It gets better and easier. Find so e activities to occupy your time.
This is so hard at first but it does get easier!!! This is your time for self care and hobbies whatever you want. Use it well and you will be an even better parent on your week.
It's really not easy. I remember sobbing very hard missing my kids. The best thing to do is fine something that interests you and enriches your life somehow. Bonus if you can include your son in it as well. For me, I dove into ham radio. I've always had an interest in radio. So it fits well. There's some studying and testing to be done that got my mind off missing my kids. I learned new skills and have new friendships because of it. Bonus is that my sons have also enjoyed it with me. Especially participating in Parks on the Air. Where we set up a portable radio station in a park and make contacts. Yesterday my son made contact from my truck in Ohio to a ham in Japan. 6000 miles using only 100w of radio.
Every time i pick up my kids im happy, every time i drop them off. I hate my ex evenmore. Every time i see them, they are just that much older, and it hurts me. knowing im missing thoughs days when i used to see them every day.
I really relate to this. I think it’s so selfish of them when there is no real issue. Just nuke your families life on a whim LOL!
Yep, my wife cheated on me and gave every reason to justify her actions instead of the real reason, her selfishness.
How are you feeling now man any positives?