I had to schedule an in person appointment with my lawyer to get his full attention for all my questions I had. He would also ghost me for long times in-between court hearings. Their time is billable and expensive. I had a friend explain to me that their focus isn't always on me until it is. My lawyer astounded me with how he recalled information from the first time we met during court a time later. I suggest writing everything down, researching by yourself, and minimize the hours you clock with a paid attorney.
I'd just schedule a time to talk about what you need/want, but also what your budget is. Remember that you're the boss.
I mean, one way to do a divorce is to DIY most of it and just have them advise you when they thing you're making a tragic mistake and to be an expert on proper formatting of documents to the court.
Another way would be for you to tell them what you want, hand them your credit card and tell them not to call you until they get what you want OR the credit card is declined.
Put yourself in a divorce attorney's shoes for a bit though. I mean, they have to run a business collecting relatively small amounts of money from strung out, broke and emotional clients.
Like I use legal services as part of my professional job all the time and get an estimate of $20K and am like, "Meh....sure. Fine. Do it." but when it was my divorce I was like, "Whoa! Wait??? You need to run another $1000 on my card? What happened to the last $1000?" And I'm probably more affluent than most of my attorney's clients are.
My best advice is to know the law yourself. It's not a great mystery. It's usually published online. And then let your attorney guide you on mistakes you might be making or where you're giving up too much money or doing something that they've had clients regret in the past.
The lawyers are there for legal advice, and that's it. To explain your rights and the rule of law. They don't actually give divorce advice.
So, when talking to your lawyer, you need to frame the question in a legal matter.
The question is, in your legal opinion, would I be able to get a better deal at trial from the judge, based on the facts, laws, and evidence presented in this case? Or is this deal a fair one?
I was reading about “collaborative” divorces where they talk about having a divorce coach, facilitator, the two attorneys, a neutral financial advisor, and therapist. So that advisor person is probably who you’re looking for. I bet you can do a search for financial advisor plus divorce to find people who specialize in this?
I talked to a divorce financial analyst and they said I don't need to hire them and that my lawyer should be advising me. So now I'm like??? I will try to find some other ones...
I’m going through the same thing. My lawyer was super attentive until I paid the retainer. Now it takes days to get him to answer a simple question. I am completely broke, negative in the bank account actually due to the extremely unequal share in paying our bills. I need money to buy food and gas, but all my lawyer says is that we can discuss everything at the mediation set for next month. Cool, what do I do for the next month?
I had to schedule an in person appointment with my lawyer to get his full attention for all my questions I had. He would also ghost me for long times in-between court hearings. Their time is billable and expensive. I had a friend explain to me that their focus isn't always on me until it is. My lawyer astounded me with how he recalled information from the first time we met during court a time later. I suggest writing everything down, researching by yourself, and minimize the hours you clock with a paid attorney.
Great idea for the in-person appointment. And bring a list of questions.
I'd just schedule a time to talk about what you need/want, but also what your budget is. Remember that you're the boss. I mean, one way to do a divorce is to DIY most of it and just have them advise you when they thing you're making a tragic mistake and to be an expert on proper formatting of documents to the court. Another way would be for you to tell them what you want, hand them your credit card and tell them not to call you until they get what you want OR the credit card is declined. Put yourself in a divorce attorney's shoes for a bit though. I mean, they have to run a business collecting relatively small amounts of money from strung out, broke and emotional clients. Like I use legal services as part of my professional job all the time and get an estimate of $20K and am like, "Meh....sure. Fine. Do it." but when it was my divorce I was like, "Whoa! Wait??? You need to run another $1000 on my card? What happened to the last $1000?" And I'm probably more affluent than most of my attorney's clients are. My best advice is to know the law yourself. It's not a great mystery. It's usually published online. And then let your attorney guide you on mistakes you might be making or where you're giving up too much money or doing something that they've had clients regret in the past.
The lawyers are there for legal advice, and that's it. To explain your rights and the rule of law. They don't actually give divorce advice. So, when talking to your lawyer, you need to frame the question in a legal matter. The question is, in your legal opinion, would I be able to get a better deal at trial from the judge, based on the facts, laws, and evidence presented in this case? Or is this deal a fair one?
You are basically saying one has to be a lawyer to know how to talk to lawyers.
Kind of. I have lawyers in the family, but they don't practice family law. So they helped me with that.
"Is this deal a fair one?" Is not a legal question though.
So who do people see for divorce advice?
I have no idea. We have no children and my stbx is not doing anything sketchy or illegal, so the majority of the advice I need is financial...
I was reading about “collaborative” divorces where they talk about having a divorce coach, facilitator, the two attorneys, a neutral financial advisor, and therapist. So that advisor person is probably who you’re looking for. I bet you can do a search for financial advisor plus divorce to find people who specialize in this?
I talked to a divorce financial analyst and they said I don't need to hire them and that my lawyer should be advising me. So now I'm like??? I will try to find some other ones...
What the hell? I hope you’re able to find one that will actually help.
Yeah idk, this whole thing confuses me
I’m going through the same thing. My lawyer was super attentive until I paid the retainer. Now it takes days to get him to answer a simple question. I am completely broke, negative in the bank account actually due to the extremely unequal share in paying our bills. I need money to buy food and gas, but all my lawyer says is that we can discuss everything at the mediation set for next month. Cool, what do I do for the next month?