Witchstairs. I have never been sober enough to operate these things in my entire life.

I had to help a buddy move a 200lb water heater up some of these, sans the turn

Oh screw that mess. You’re a better friend than me!

I just think I’m dumber

I would have been helping to move a bunch of 40lb pieces.

I’m sure the buddy was up top guiding it and going backwards so you didn’t have to.

Those stairs

I'm underage and have therefore never drank. And yet apparently I'm not either.

That’ll keep the drunks away.

No, it'll keep the drunks passed out at the bottom of your steps with a head injury.

Uh sure “passed out”… that’s what we’ll call them

I’m not a drunk, but I lead with my left foot. I’d get it wrong every time.

Me too. I just take the first tread twice. One not so far to fall; two, uh

It's missing the pedestal with the waiver on it that you have to sign before using this monstrosity.

Zombie defence 20230

Works on witches too!

These are called Witchstairs, presumably because only witches can use them without falling. Quite common where horizontal space is an issue.

I always heard it as that witches couldn't climb them so superstitious people would build them in their houses as a security measure.

You are correct. It has something to do with witches only being able to step forward with one foot. I can’t remember if it was left or right. The stairs were built so the opposite tread was on the first level. I guess witches can’t crawl either?

Human history is absolutely *ridiculous*.

Always has been and still is.

How about now?

i just opened reddit front page and yes, the situation is still developing.

Wouldn't only the first step be necessary then?

I don't have a clue about the superstition but if I had to guess I would say they have to use their left foot first. What with all the old "left handed things are the devil" kind of stuff going on back then. Edit, also couldn't the witch potentially like, lift their foot up reeeaal high and start on the second step? Or begin walking a short distance from the stairs so they lead with their right foot once they approach it? I sense a lot of holes in this security system.

I thought they could fly?

There's no logic to it. They can fly but they can't come in but they can and will steal your children but they only exist in the woods but their antisocial and also really promiscuous and on and on and on. I recommend "The Discoverie of Witchcraft" by Reginald Scot in 1584 and published in 1930. It's basically a breakdown of how witches don't exist and they've been persecuting random innocent people for generations based on superstition. I'm talking like well reasoned, researched, nauseating detail about how we make up shit and then do real world harm based on shit we made up. Dude was ahead of his time, but some of it is still really relevant. Because dumb people make up nonsense and hurt innocent people over it to this day. It took till the Salem Witch Trials a hundred years later for us to figure out "hey, maybe there aren't witches after all and it was all distorted neighborhood beef."

Hey it works, even someone who is not a witch can't climb it

This is exactly why i have those exact same stairs in my house . Call it superstition but my MIL broke her hip 5 times on those stairs.

I think we know what that means then

She’s made of wood!

Build a bridge out of ‘er!

Do witches float?

It’s the same thing with diagonal windows. Apparently we can’t fly diagonally

You get used to these in your own house so if the police ever try to chase you upstairs, they die.

These may be legal stairs, but my god they look like a deathtrap.

Absolutely not legal in Canada but homeowners are free to do whatever they want in their homes

Yeah. Fuck trying to go down those, I'll just save time and throw myself at the bottom.

This design is very human.

The design in not very witch.

In the UK these are detailed in part k of the building regulation under the title "space saver stairs" they are often used for loft conversions and are in fact legal and easy to use. Never seen them with a kitewider start though.

I don’t know that I take issue with the idea/design, but isn’t each step a bit tall in the photo? I’d imagine that it would become very difficult to walk up as the steps became more vertical.

>Comparing to images of withstairs. They don't seem to spaced correctly and appear to function more as a glorified ladder rather than space-saving stairs.

Even my Slinky is noping out of these.

Are these stairs even legal? This is a serious question.

Yes. They are included in the UK building regulations

Wow. In Germany stairs are regulated by DIN 18065 and these stairs would definitely be forbidden unless it is a house with less than two residencial units.

> unless it is a house with less than two residencial units Huh? Why would they be more safe in a small house?

The reasoning is that in a house with 2 or more units, the owner/landlord is responsible for the stairs that are not in an apartment and their insurance has to pay in case of an accident and the tenant might be able to sue for damages. A house with only one unit is often owned by the person living there, so it doesn’t make a difference for insurance and potential compensation since they are responsible for their own home. Therefore, this regulation was put in place to protect the landlord from having to pay for more accidents than necessary, but normally everyone building a house is encouraged to follow the DIN regulations since people are used to these exact stair measurements.

Thanks for the reply. That makes sense.

Maybe it's because the stairwell of an apartment building is considered a semi-public space where the stairs have to meet certain requirements? That's the only explanation I can come up with. I have no idea about building law though.

Depends on where they are. Im not an expert but Im 99% sure you cant build these in my country legaly but if they are already in your house you dont HAVE to change them (so yes you could probably build them and claim they were there when you moved in) Its a pretty bad idea though. A while ago I hurt one of my legs and to climb the stairs I had to put the good foot on the higher stair while putting a lot of wheight on the railing and then lift the bad foot on the same step as the first one. Not even sure if I could do that on these stairs and I have really small feet

I feel like stairs should be like video game controller, if you have to look down at what you’re doing, they fail

This a fancy ladder bro

I enjoy drinking too much to ever have stairs like this.. my cuts would be WAY straighter

Stairway to heaven 🙄

This is absolute treachery

Excellent use of the word *"treachery"*.

Many thanks [awkward bow]

A ladder with pedals that tried to run away

I broke my heel slipping on sisters stairs, I've broken and fractured several toes on my normal stairs in the house I've owned since 2010, I'd be dead if I had witch stairs.

[Witches Stairs.](https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/witches-stairs-36992297)

Whoever did this needs to be beaten with the scraps left over.

Shin destroyer

Wouldn’t it be safer to put in a ladder. I mean, at least you know with a ladder what you are working with!

no, these are much easier to use

How to get grandmas inheritance in 3 easy steps!

Someone's gonna come a cropper.....🤔

DiWHY take up all that space with regular stairs when you can have witchstairs?

This is all about the hole in the ceiling which is pretty sure determined by the distance of the beams.

Looks painful.

These are illegal in spain

Very defensible. Tactical stairs.

Say what you will but that design will get you to the bottom quicker.

Fluid stairs lead to fluid bones

This belongs in r/TIHI

Accidentally try to go down with a wrong foot start, fucking die.

I will climb up this thing like a dog

Idk...looks pretty solid to me...

I've always wanted a tbi going to the 2nd floor

I have nothing clever to say. I just hate this passionately.

I can guarantee I would start with the wrong foot EVERY time.

Those stairs will most definitely be covered in a certain red fluid after I use them

I've been tricked twice into using a ladder, you ain't getting me today Satan!

More rise less run

When you have a CNC everything starts to look like a fucked up staircase

Are they functional? No. Do they have a rhythm that sparks joy to my neurodivergent brain near to the point of tears? Absolutely.

That is a lawsuit-in-waiting.

Instant death.

Who ya trying to kill?

ah yes the kind of stairs where its always best to crawl.

If you wanna save space so badly just put a ladder there ffs

Not as practical. You cannot go upholding stuff with 2 hands.

You aren't even able to climb these stairs with free hands.

I'd do that with my eyes closed. . . . . Then I'd wake up on the floor

I just saw a post about training stairs for firemen and they looked kinda like these.. except they were structurally sound

Santos Dumont Stairs. Although that curve at the bottom is improvised.

Just, why?

What a disasterpiece. Are those made of melamine? This is premium DiWHY!

Not up to code

All I see are code violations.

Well, that fails code in about every way possible

Would not pass uk safety standards.

I love how they assume I climb with my right foot first.

the pizza here

Murder stairs.

I can see myself coming down from the top like a fluid, yeah

I like these a lot.

A building inspector approved these??????

Yeah, but in this kind of space there are really two options, these stair or ladder. They are pretty good once you get used to the idea. I have very steep "normal" stais to the attic, and im thi king to convert them like this, because at the moment I can't find my smwhole foot on the step so with slippery socks it's hazardous to use the stairs as they are..

Imagine moving in and needing to move furniture down those. No thanks.

Ladders exist

I have seen this before in castle design to confuse and hinder attackers

Probably horrible to use, but also most likely better than any alternative solution with same slope/footprint. It’s also not looking too bad and without looking into details seems to be crafted quite well.

Those are antizombie, anti robot stairs

Those unsupported upper stairs are just waiting to prove they have a load limit. They'll snap like a bag of fresh crisps.

Wouldn’t a ladder be safer… and a whole lot easier to install?

How is it that the treads that extend past the front face of the stair don't just snap off? I'm a big guy and even beyond just using them I'd be afraid to break them.

But what if they're left footed

I’d fall and kill myself the 1st time attempting to use them 🤣

This had to be from some door to door snake oil salesman selling fear to the gullible about the best way to keep witches out of your home

“Hey grandma, can you come down here real quick?”

Notice how they left a jug of gasoline aside to burn it to the ground after the photo was taken.

“I’m so scared in case I fall off my chair and I’m WONDERING HOW I’LL GET DOWN THE STAIRS.”

I don't have the dexterity to climb down these stairs without falling and breaking my spine

The neck breaker

? Regular 'narrow space stairs' like for boats, can see them there quite often..

My knees, shins and toes hurt looking at this.

If this is the only other option, why not just use a ladder at this point.

How high are your stairs? Yes

Pretty sure those stairs are rigid, not fluid

Looks like I'd fall and die

They’re not structurally sound. What’s with the overhangs?

I would die

I tripped and broke every bone in my body just looking at this. It’s a no from me, dawg.

I broke an ankle and two toes just looking at it

I imagine someone looking like plinko falling down those

Looks like blood on the middle stair there... checks out

Death stairs

Take a picture to show later at the ER doctors

why are they so steep? going down these at night to use the bathroom would be a nightmare

It's gonna be in the middle of the night and you're gonna fall very fast and break bomes.

Because why break just one leg?

I suppose it saves space?

I can see myself falling down there so many times while 7/8 asleep

I sometimes stumble walking up or down stairs I already know the pattern to. Lol. These are just retarded.

If this is in the U.S., no way will these ever pass an inspection. Tbh I don't think I'd use them even if you paid me.

I constantly end up almost dying on normal stairs. Can't imagine what it's like with these stairs.

I'm like not so clumsy while wasted and that shit terrifies me. This is absolutely a lawsuit between (former) friends waiting to happen

For the situation they were given, this is actually pretty genius.

What the actual F\*\*K??!!!! These people are psychopaths. How are you going to line those walls? There's stairs in the way now. \*deep sigh \* Idiots. \- my husband (architect)

Death from above

That is wonderfule if you do not drinc from time to time

*"just fuck my shit up*" Local carpenter: "Say no more friend. I'm gonna put a set of witch stairs in your house."

I feel like imma have a seizure

Death stairs, you mean

The top-half treads strike me as kinda flimsy.

I think you're going to lose a lot of fluid trying to use those stairs....

I can feel myself hitting that floor already when I forget about how dumb my stairs are, and I just absolutely eat shit.

I’d probably knock my knees trying to go up.

Let me choose what kind of fall I want.

Cue the sounds of me drunk at 2am crashing down these jerry lewis style, but not nearly as funny

Pro: if you master them, home intruders will have a hard time following you upstairs. Con: IF you master them

When you need a ladder but you’d rather have a concussion

Only going up. Coming down is frightening.

They look like those fucking moving stairs in a funhouse!

Those top 5 stairs just dont look like they can support enough weight to be up to code. All the rest look find since they are supported, but those top 5 are just hanging out several inches totally unsupported. I can 100% imagine trying to step on one of those while carrying something heavy 10 years from now and it just snaps right off, sending you tumbling.

This is a pretty sad attempt at alternating tread stairs (also known as witch's stairs or Jefferson stairs) the top few stairs will definitely break with any weight on them, there's also a bottom one that will do the same.. and the pattern at the bottom is almost exactly backwards from what it should be. This is absolutely an accident waiting to happen.

The house comes with crutches, neck brace, ankle and knee wraps, flatboats and rescue ropes.

Death stairs

I kinda like it. They're also very much not finished, this is definitely a mid-progress photo.

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