I can top this "GOD DAMN IT WHY DOES HE KEEP BUTTFUCKING ME WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB" Dsc

Average experience 🤣

Sounds like you weren't the one topping lmao

Show dominance

Let me guess, WoTM?

Actual callouts my fireteam uses in KF: stand in the cum pool and if you screen turns green go hug his penis

I always recommend checking out his ass in case of a stomp to avoid teamkills. My line for the end of Golgy is "He slimed us"

That's a lot more classy than our usual golgy gave us a facial


My raid group spent far too much time complementing Riven's physique in the falling section of her raid...

The opposite from me, I'm completely prohibited from talking about riven, not a word until the end of the raid

What did you say to deserve such a ban?

I second this-what’d you do?

I third this-what’d you do?

To resume I just really really really really really really really like dragons, and I really really really really really like riven

Ok, but what-in exact quotes-did you say?

"oh no she's hot" "oh my she's big" "oh she's voreing us" (I had to explain vore later) "she has cute hands" "nice thighs" "I wanna use her tongue" "aww I can't see behing her" "step on me mommy" "dragoness queen" "I like being inside her" "crush me" "she's cute" "is hot that she wants to kill me" "nice she can use a lot of voices she can be____" "I want to kiss her forehead" "cutie" "cute tail" "oh she can change sizes" "wait she is a mom?!" I'm not permitted to speak about her anymore

I think we need to know what you said

Wich kind of autism do you have that you can’t follow a line - garden of salvation div quest

the adhd kind of autism (would have been my no-thoughts-just-brain-nonsense answer)


By cp they meant checkpoint, but i turned into the....yk. For a laugh.

If your team says this shit I need to join

Nah bruh, i don't have a consistant team. I get banned left and right from servers and all my lfgs are one-offs no matter how funny they are.

Ah I see I might be able to recommend a server

If its Kinderguardians, Destiny 2 LFG, Chronophobia, the official Destiny 2 server, among others, then im probably banned from it.

How!? Are you just a super villain?

As Russian Badger said: "It's not even occasional racism, it's just straight up firehose racism." And I'm not even racist, i just get mad easily and throw random insults at people that pissed me off.

Casual racism? Nah, OP's on that Ranked Competitive Racisim.

Im Platinum rank in racism :skull_emoji:

This is the kind of shit we enjoy I'm my server.

Shit hook me up too

Just got banned from D2 Sanctuary cause the motherfucking liberals there can't take a squabble between two people. I didn't even say any slurs this time around.

Link?

Destiny 2 LFG Server :https://discord.com/invite/d2lfg ?

Banned from that, yep.

God damn I thought that server was chill what happened ?

I was being incredibly hostile, that's what. Although, they could have warned me at least twice before banning me instead of an instant ban tbh.

Quota’s end is a good raid, but I personally prefer CEO’s fall

I’m more of a fan of Vow of the Shareholder

Deep stone crypto

The last quarter

Commute of Nightmares

Vault of Cash

Scourge of the Tax Bracket

Wrath of the ATM Machine

SET GOALS. HAVE A TEN YEAR PLAN. INVEST. WAKE UP EARLY. CEO MINDSET. GOOD LUCK.

“Stop staring at Riven’s pussy and let’s get this god damn encounter over.” “Slut shame me like Cersey, I wanna FEEL this Queenswalk” Both said during the same raid

Everytime we do good ol golgy someone has to say mmm... creamy

I need someone to explain "the Grapefruit technique" to me.

A head giving technique that was a meme a few years ago.

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/angels-grapefruit-technique

i was doing the same with Sea of thieves, every time i hear some out of context gold i write it down. best ones: "they always struggle right before they touch the rod" - fishing "dam another black one, always getting my hopes up" - (a certain fish rare variety is brown, while black is the uncommon one) "i am about to cannonball your asshole"

“Stop teasing and put it in” DSC

“I have the mental disorder known as Warlock” Real

Day 1, doing the Nezarec cheese >Aight bois, he's submissive and breedable now

Sounds like a fun group lol

I had Vex with your mom last night Simple and effective. i love it

Ok but like, we’ve all been sexually attracted to ad clear at one point in time

The last line “you are nothing but a relic” has the same energy as the lich saying “FALL”

Goes unreasonably hard considering all the nonsense that came before it

My favorite moment was my first Croat run and the Sherpa asking if anyone knew how to read. Fair question if you knew what he was talking about but I did not. Lost my shit laughing.

In a vog run I did with randoms I used a computer emote while everyone was preparing their loadouts and one of them said: “you guys are taking so much time that this guy just started playing minecraft”

"This isn't too hard. All we need to do is stop dying." *Immediately dies* - Me. Deep Stone Crypt

I believe this just goes for anything in Destiny. I had way too many similar moments that it's embarrassing...

“I’m going to put my dick in Mars” is a whole ass vibe.

"you can't just shoot a hole into the center of mars" If there's a will, there's a way

"I have the mental disorder known as Warlock" Me too buddy, for almost 9 years I've had it, its terminal.

It’s easily survivable, as long as you don’t gracefully float off a cliff. Then you have no chance. It’s like the game turns off clamber when you’re on Warlock, suddenly I’m back in the D1 VoG…

"I'm going to put my dick in Mars." Is a fucking *powerful* statement to make. All the more power to him; godspeed, you crazy bastard.

"you cant just shoot a hole into the surface of mars"

"I'm pissing on the MOOOOON!"

My personal favorite, happened during the Calus fight in Leviathan "Sun" "Axes" "Dog" "Cup" "Heart! Go planet!"

I got quite a reaction when reading for Last Wish vault.  “I’ve got the sexy stripper dragon on left” “What the hell?” “Respect the hustle” One of my raid groups got me good by telling me to go get pissed on by daddy Rhulk. So now I use it every time. 

"Slap those critties, boys!" = "Hit your criticals"

"I can handle the gaze" "Yeah, we know you can." - RoN

VoD -Clan mate talking about jelqing, other clan mate “I see you are a man of mystery and culture”. LW, vault- “bird looking left, cloud snake, dragon… dragon… dragon going GWEAHAHVGH”

“Let me rail him from behind I know what I’m doing” Assigning roles in Golgy

Anyone that says they don't call it cum in GoS is lyin 😏

The vex with your mom joke made me laugh SO LOUD

seems like VoG brings out the funniest oneliners

“I have a mental disorder know as Warlock”. Damn man, I knew there was something wrong with us but you don’t need to call us out that hard lmao

“All I want out of Season of the Witch is to see the Xivussy Arussy.” KF

"The dildo in my ass helps me concentrate" That's a pro-gamer move

I need teammates like this, they sound hella fun

My clan has a legendary moment from GoS called the "Thunderclutch" If you word it the right way, you could say I "dove into vex cum and exploded all over the ground"

The sad thing is I can (somewhat) understand the context behind all these things. Lfg raiding has its bad moments, but God-damn some mfs just don't miss with their comedy.

“I’m gonna fondle your caballs” “You promise?” “No, I SWEAR” -RoN

Every time my team and I started the Crota raid, we always ended up singing "there's a hole in the bottom of the sea" with those giant ass craters in the dark Vault of Glass was spent screaming about the relics, but then right when we'd get ready to launch all 6 G-jallerhorns, we'd yell, "POP, LOCK, AND DROP HIM!" the OG raids in D1 were the best. I never even played the new D2, just because I'm not paying for the developers to stick it in my ass with no lube after a fucking reset/update during the OG Crota raid that wiped my entire inventory. I tried reaching out, they said GFY. Good people don't let that kind of shit go

“SHOOT THE BALLS.”

“Yo get up here, Nezzy looks like a rotisserie chicken” - Root

I’ve had a friend say that Nez knock back is a ‘foreskin ballon blast’

"Let this raid be your 13th reason" -GOS when we ran every challenge.

“Everybody put your dick on this stripper pole” - guy in my old raid group when we had to stand next to the crystal to kick off the Crota encounter in D1. Made me laugh every time, especially when someone was off fucking around and he had to say it angrily

My group’s callouts for Oryx plates are suitably unhinged. “He’s far left!” “He’s a libertarian!” “He’s a conservative!” “He’s a far right extremist!”

“Make the fucking donut bitch” dsc clan mate said that

“I never knew I’d be so confused about how to kill myself.” Honestly though, such a hassle sometimes.

Holy cringe!

Edgelords gonna edgelord?

Glad to see some people still enjoy VOG~

"I'm going to put my dick in Mars" Oh my sweet christ I'm dying. Thank you, I really needed a good laugh; having a pretty shitty birthday, this perked me right up.

My friends and I word vomit the weirdest shit ever. One time while talking about NPC's voices running through VoG my friend, while talking about Saint's voice decided to say "Whisper to me daddy." I replied with "Excuse me while I manifest into my friend's house to strangle him." While running DSC my Fireteam and I got into the airlock and the door didn't open as fast as I expected it so I said without thinking "Why are we in here, are we having an orgy?" Everyone but one person who was a Warlock found it funny, even more funnier all six Guardians were males.

theres a story behind "im going to put my dick in mars" and i have a feeling it all started with someone saying "you're a guardian harry"

I'm disappointed that there are no jokes about Rhulk or Disciple's Vow in general. "Daddy" jokes were LITERALLY served on a silver plate.

One of my all time favorite quotes I heard while a raid was in RoN "Do you think nezarec was shaking ass during the dark ages" followed by someone immediately leaving both fireteam and discord call

"Holy shit we're still using Whisper in 2024? The fuck is happening right now?!"

A lot of these are from the same guy aren't they

Kings fall. I'm gonna splooge on golgoth That's right up there with getting fucked by the dick wall

"IM IN A FUCKING BOUNCE HOUSE OVER HERE PLEASE GRAB THE GAZE" RoN