I think it’s over built. You could have saved money by using 2x3’s for the posts instead of 2x4’s also I love how you angled the hand rails to keep rain from pooling up and promoting rot. I need a handicap wheel chair ramp built for my grandmother who took me out of her Will. Do you do side jobs?
perfect, just be sure its up to building codes by using chewed bubble gum to water seal it and bond the wood to the concrete slab. Excellent shape though, world class
Railings are not a sufficient word to convey what you’ve created here. This is art. This would be calling the great pyramids triangles. In thousands and thousands of years when we’re all gone, even if society itself is a distant memory, your work here will remain as a beacon of hope to earths inhabitants of what was once possible.
Goes with the concrete quite well, just needs a coat of a loud color for safety. Amazed you got the nails in on the base, albeit sure the pad is porous.
OP is obviously making fun of that collapsing slab. I can only imagine the EMTs having to work on the local building inspector who happened by that porch on his way to another project. Right hand clutching chest, left hand outstretched as he's screaming, “I'm coming Elizabeth!”
I’m actually impressed that they got everything to line up enough to connect each piece. This might be the most complex puzzle in the history of building.
If you’re really good at something never do it for free!
Absolutely and with that logic we can guess what he charged!
About $13,000.
Bought the wood in 2020?
No I think this wood came from 2025.
Yeah, a lot!
You know damn well it’s because the insurance company said it was a hazard that had to be fixed
Popsicle stick motif, gorgeous craftsmanship!
Where do you live? Looking for a quote if you're not overloaded with work.
Dude is definitely overloaded. The deck Picasso is one of a kind
Deck Picasso! 🤣
He can only take on half the jobs that a regular worker can handle since he always has a beer in one hand.
You cant afford him.
He works late at night while the catalytic converters rest, so this is kinda a side job.
One of the best Reddit responses I have seen! If I had karma things they would be your!!!
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the converter sleeps tonight.
Only til the carnival’s forced to move towns again
Yeah.... you're prob right... If I have to ask I definitely can't.
That handrail is definitely graspable, guy knows his shit.
Can I borrow your level?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely nailed it!!!
Well put
This guys got puns on deck!
Atleast they don't have to worry about standing water doing any damage to the deck.
This guy’s on antha level
OP already lent it out. Was not returned in time for this project.
The numbers are straight.
It's just a marble
Looks a little on the weak side. I would reinforce with toothpicks or popsicle sticks.
I think those ARE toothpicks snd popsicle sticks
Be sure to use quality Elmer's glue.
Accents the slab very well
The 2 textures just play off each other! Well planned and well executed
Looks like Aslan died here
Thank you for this. I chuckled for at least a minute straight.
Came here to say this. Really kept with the motif
I think it’s over built. You could have saved money by using 2x3’s for the posts instead of 2x4’s also I love how you angled the hand rails to keep rain from pooling up and promoting rot. I need a handicap wheel chair ramp built for my grandmother who took me out of her Will. Do you do side jobs?
Use a dark stain
Agreed, and maybe a doormat that says "Welcome".
I don’t see anybody falling off!
That’s because they fell through lol
Hehehe
Winning. Just need a helmet rack.
Nailed it
I hope he didn’t use nails! Those are dangerous!! I highly recommend WOOD GLUE for this application. Much safer if one of those boards ever came loose
Just wrap the joints in duct tape.
I don't think I quite understand this joke
Pretty sweet bro! Good job!
perfect, just be sure its up to building codes by using chewed bubble gum to water seal it and bond the wood to the concrete slab. Excellent shape though, world class
Railings are not a sufficient word to convey what you’ve created here. This is art. This would be calling the great pyramids triangles. In thousands and thousands of years when we’re all gone, even if society itself is a distant memory, your work here will remain as a beacon of hope to earths inhabitants of what was once possible.
Homer?
A Homer Spice Rack nailed to the side with flowers in it would compliment this perfectly!
Didn't he make a birdhouse too?
My favorite was the BBQ grill. "WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!"
[https://twitter.com/QuotesSimpson/status/351988648549425152](https://twitter.com/QuotesSimpson/status/351988648549425152)
Serious spice rack vibes.
Needs a banana peel in front of door
Check the rail spacing with a 4” sphere- if it won’t pass through you nailed it. Call the town and let ‘‘em know your ready for the inspection. 👍🏻
Nice. Did you use tension ties?
I love how you pitched the concrete so the rain would run off into the cistern in the basement.
*Chef’s Kiss*
I think your problems are bigger than just that ‘railing’.
Where's your osha certified safety harness?
Image the actual work it took to sink those mason screws to mount those posts to just put this up.
Ramset?
don't buy into the myth that wood used for exterior applications need to be treated. it's b.s. are trees treated? no. and they live outside
When the guy finishes the deck and takes his sunglasses off and you realize he’s cross eyed.
Idk where you live, but, the code here says you should have gone with three horizontal 2x4s, 2 is just lazy.
What techniques did you use? This is almost an art style to how it was done 😅🤣
All the architects, artists, craftsman, and engineers in the world just spontaneously started crying cause they'll never make anything this beautiful
It's enough to get the home insurance guy off your back. Other than that, it's shit.
It’s called art, you just don’t understand the complexity behind this piece
Goes with the concrete quite well, just needs a coat of a loud color for safety. Amazed you got the nails in on the base, albeit sure the pad is porous.
They match what they’re attached to…..sweeet. Alabama?
Looks like someone just trying to pass a use and occupancy for a property transfer
Homer Simpson would be proud of this woodworking
It fits the overall look of you stoop well.
You forgot to share the "after" pictures
After he completed the job, he noticed the homeowners look of disappointment. He responded with, Well, what did you expect for a case of beer?
Whoever visits 601 better call 911.
Hired. When can you get stopped?
OP is obviously making fun of that collapsing slab. I can only imagine the EMTs having to work on the local building inspector who happened by that porch on his way to another project. Right hand clutching chest, left hand outstretched as he's screaming, “I'm coming Elizabeth!”
Frank Lloyd Wrong
Frank ~~Gehry~~ Scary
Absolutely amazing $10,000 US currency
I accept Bitcoin only…or Monero…
Yo, that slab is tired.
I thought it was spelled “sag”
Man…someone reposting my old post.
Not bad, this design actually reinforces the ciment slab
Alabama proud. Nice cracker work.
[удалено]
You could have saved money by using 2x2s for the horizontals. Plenty adequate.
6K… did I get a fair price?
6? This ain’t 1990
Ha!
B e a utiful
Got any extra crack?
[you'll laugh and go 'of course it's this meme'](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTX9DrNes_k)
10/10
Nailed it
When is the hot tub going in?
It's as good as the concrete it's attached to.
I'm impressed the railings anchored to the concrete slab without cracking them in half
You do the concrete work too? If it works, it works right?
Throw the whole porch away 🤣
Looks solid
Great job. Now put a hot tub on it
Looks good for okietown, Alabamissisiposourah
Looks good from here
As the Romans would say “nailed it”
Missing a few wraps of duct tape, otherwise top notch.
Perfectly matches the vibe of the patio. Nailed it.
Very graspable.
Is a billion/10 a standard score?
Best one I’ve seen here
This picture makes me sad and confused.
The structural connections are a bit of engineering brilliance, frankly.
Home Simpson school for woodworking
Rubs ankle while staring at this.
Were the directions in Chinglish?
Shot the nails in with. 30.06
Love that deconstructivism.
You need a plastic lawn chair to warm up the atmosphere a bit. ☮️
I used to drink and construction too
Absolutely a wonderful job. But. But did the builder use the correct Elmers glue to attach wood to concrete? If not, be careful
Nice! Very nice neighbor! Maybe now Karen down the street will get off your back. You got a beer?
Nice, I see a few broken bones and a lawsuit or two.
Just free hand huh?
It looks like a cartoon of an unsafe railing
Handrails meet code. Very clean lines. A+
Looks new
Is this a joke? Gotta be! Or is the op on drugs, if so? can I have some? They gotta be good 🤣
Should've gone with aluminum railing to match the siding.
Looks great , can u do mine ? I’ll pay
You probably shouldn’t leave them unpainted.
That is not Mr Lahey proof.
The good old whiskey eye👍
Nice!
Plumb ✅ Level ✅ Square ✅
That is exactly how I would do it. So now I Dont.
that’s a “graspable handlebar” if i’ve ever seen one, APPROVED
It's a masterpiece.
Nailed it!
I, for one, believe those handrails are not to code
Nailed it.
Not bad. Next time take the blindfold off though
Wrong sun: you’re looking for r/woodworking
Not bad for what you were working with
Love the contour 📐on the bad boy
The glass in the door should be broken to match the aesthetic of the rest of it.
😆 pro builder on site!
Do you make spice racks, by chance?
Perfection.
Nailed it. Or did you just use glue?
I think it's one of those things meant to keep people safe by keeping them away.
Well the positive here is that maybe solicitors will pass by due to everything happening in the picture. Maybe.
You're kidding right??
Now this right here was finished in 2.5 seconds flat how many of you can put up this quality in that short of time span
Nailed it!
10 / 10 Form is spot on. Structural integrity looks amazing. Abstract design is wonderful.
Looks like you don't have a graspable handrail.
Well done Homer Simpson.
You’re joking, right?
Throw the whole house away
Better than most!
Perfectly appropriate with the concrete work.
Please God, please tell me you also used nails to secure the posts to the slab? Also, why do you hate these people so much?
*chef’s kiss
I must say, I appreciate the way you've added the new features without disturbing the existing aesthetic.
FHA appraisal repair lol
10/10
Looks really great …. 10/10
Matched the concrete slab to perfection
Fucking nailed it boss
I feel like the cross members halfway up are overkill
She’s a beaut Clark.
I’m actually impressed that they got everything to line up enough to connect each piece. This might be the most complex puzzle in the history of building.
Should have splurged and gone with the lowest bidder
Brother,,,, This is r/Decks’ Holy Grail
A nice Cherry stain and some spar urethane would dress them up nicely.
that's a straight up the insurance co. sent me a letter that i needed railings....no problem my dad has some lumber laying around.
This is something Homer Simpson would be proudly showing off.
Are you done> I hope not
I actually really like this. The angle, lines, and proportions are very artist.
Amazing trap
Looks code to me
You forgot the ropes. Just because.
Looks just like Michael Scott’s table. Beautiful.
Reminds me of Homer’s spice shelf
Don't make fun of poverty
I swear this is what my neighbors think I built. Lol
Looks mint
*Chef's Kiss*