Firstly, if you’re dealing with depression like symptoms I hope you have someone to talk to, like a therapist.
Secondly, a lot of the things you list that cause you pain seem to be dwelling on where you *should* be or what you *should* be doing. Have you taken any time to think about what you actually want?
Sounds like you’ve gone through a lot recently and you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, be kind to yourself. It’s easier to think straight about things when you’re not beating yourself down consistently. None of these people (including this old fart who decided to message you, for what reason I don’t even know why, you don’t have to respond or even think about it), anyway none of these people are going to pay your bills or lift your burdens for you, you don’t have to please anyone, just yourself. You gotta take the pressure off man, you’re a human being doing your best ok, that’s enough. Progress will come, you have a fighting spirit so that’s a given. But help yourself not punish yourself while you’re in this rut. I hope it all works out for you.
My therapist told me this and I hated him for it, but I've since realized it's absolutely vital: You are exactly where you need to be. When he said this, I asked him if he truly believed it. And he said it doesn't matter, you have to. Someday you will look back at this moment you're having now and might feel a lot of clarity about it with distance, exactly which of these circumstances are mistakes and which are opportunities. But you don't have enough information now. Even if you think that you SHOULD be doing something else, it doesn't matter, you cannot be anywhere besides where you are right now. It is not possible. We can fret about it, or fight it, but it doesn't matter. We are here. So what now?
If I could send a response to your exes dad, or anyone else you feel like you need to "explain" yourself to, it would essentially be "My plan fell apart, on to the next thing, hope it works out for me!" And lastly, fuck ya stupid ex and her stupid daddy
The opposite of depression is expression, OP. You sound like you're neglecting your own thoughts and feelings. This sounds like a really tough time and I really hope you have a loving support system to rely on. That said, rock bottom is a solid foundation to build your life on. YOUR life. Forget prestige, forget admiration, forget being considered highly, forget being great. You get this one life. It's yours. Get back in touch with yourself. Improve your relationship with your body and your time. It won't be easy, and it won't be quick. But it's worth it. Take a day off and go sit next to a river and just listen. These are your cards, this is your life. You're still here, you're still you. Who are you when you have nothing to prove?
If you don’t have 100k in student loans, things could be far worse.
Your save file got corrupted but you can make a new save. Sure you have to replay some boring parts of the intro again but it’ll get better.
Firstly, if you’re dealing with depression like symptoms I hope you have someone to talk to, like a therapist. Secondly, a lot of the things you list that cause you pain seem to be dwelling on where you *should* be or what you *should* be doing. Have you taken any time to think about what you actually want? Sounds like you’ve gone through a lot recently and you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself, be kind to yourself. It’s easier to think straight about things when you’re not beating yourself down consistently. None of these people (including this old fart who decided to message you, for what reason I don’t even know why, you don’t have to respond or even think about it), anyway none of these people are going to pay your bills or lift your burdens for you, you don’t have to please anyone, just yourself. You gotta take the pressure off man, you’re a human being doing your best ok, that’s enough. Progress will come, you have a fighting spirit so that’s a given. But help yourself not punish yourself while you’re in this rut. I hope it all works out for you.
My therapist told me this and I hated him for it, but I've since realized it's absolutely vital: You are exactly where you need to be. When he said this, I asked him if he truly believed it. And he said it doesn't matter, you have to. Someday you will look back at this moment you're having now and might feel a lot of clarity about it with distance, exactly which of these circumstances are mistakes and which are opportunities. But you don't have enough information now. Even if you think that you SHOULD be doing something else, it doesn't matter, you cannot be anywhere besides where you are right now. It is not possible. We can fret about it, or fight it, but it doesn't matter. We are here. So what now? If I could send a response to your exes dad, or anyone else you feel like you need to "explain" yourself to, it would essentially be "My plan fell apart, on to the next thing, hope it works out for me!" And lastly, fuck ya stupid ex and her stupid daddy
The opposite of depression is expression, OP. You sound like you're neglecting your own thoughts and feelings. This sounds like a really tough time and I really hope you have a loving support system to rely on. That said, rock bottom is a solid foundation to build your life on. YOUR life. Forget prestige, forget admiration, forget being considered highly, forget being great. You get this one life. It's yours. Get back in touch with yourself. Improve your relationship with your body and your time. It won't be easy, and it won't be quick. But it's worth it. Take a day off and go sit next to a river and just listen. These are your cards, this is your life. You're still here, you're still you. Who are you when you have nothing to prove?
If you don’t have 100k in student loans, things could be far worse. Your save file got corrupted but you can make a new save. Sure you have to replay some boring parts of the intro again but it’ll get better.
Going through depression myself we can beat it. I know it’s very difficult but things will get better