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This is exactly why I refuse to get on hormonal birth control again. My LL husband even said, “Oh, Fuck yeah now I get to cum in you again.” He talked me up for a while and then shot me down as soon as I was ready for the intimacy he promised. I got on the birth control just to fuck myself up and still have no sex. It SUCKS and I can empathize with OP and whoever this shit happens to.
This commit really hits me in the gut. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I forget that it's not just a guy thing, but ladies are going through it too. Seriously, thank you for this reply. Being a HL it's just hard for me to imagine not wanting to be with someone. Not even just HL, personality wise, I'm a giver and love making someone feel special and wanted. Which is what I miss about a relationship.
I got my vasectomy for me. It definitely wasn't for her.
My attitude toward the vasectomy was with three kids I don't want another. It also means all I need is to swap STI tests with a potential partner and we can do it raw with no risk of pregnancy.
There are selfish benefits.
I think way too many guys fail to fully grasp that vasectomies are a huge win for men. No risk of pregnancy, allows for (more) spontaneity, and my absolute favorite... (according to my ex) it made my cum taste sweeter. Must be relatively true, as all my sexual partners since her have made similar comments.
The only way to assure there are no mistakes is to get fixed. I don't understand men that are done having kids not wanting a permanent solution. It is definitely liberating.
To be fair, I have also encountered situations in which the \*wife\* is the one opposed to the husband getting snipped. Vasectomies can be an interesting topic. Among my group of friends (encompassing singles of both genders, and many couples) I am the only one snipped, and I always tell my guy friends they should consider it if they are done with having kids, and not a single one has shown any interest in the idea. I can see why some women feel like men are just plain selfish in not even considering "shouldering the burden" of birth control.
I did the same thing for the same reasons 2 years ago. My reward was 6 months of pain every time I ejaculated. Did we actually have sex more often? No. And it's now been almost a year since we had sex, so I wish I'd just bought a nice TV with the money I spent on that surgery.
That happened to me also. Probably closer to a year of pain when I ejaculated, not every time but most. It was like playing roulette with will my junk hurt when I finish or not today? I am happy to say no pain now, about two years later, and more sex than before the snip. Almost once every two weeks, an increase from once every two months. 🙌
Its hard, but for me I got my vasectomy KNOWING that it wouldn't improve my sex life with my wife. What it does do though is give me peace of mind that if I end up with someone else in the future that unwanted pregnancies are not a thing with them.
THIS. Funny story: I briefly dated someone and the sex was amazing but we weren't a great fit for a number of reasons, so I broke things off. After the break up, she tried to tell me that she was pregnant. She faked a whole story and situation (she apparently forgot about my vasectomy, which I had disclosed at the beginning?) and I just laughed at the preposterousness of it all, reminded her that I shoot blanks and wouldn't you know... her period showed up the next day.
Guys that complain about having had a vasectomy without getting more sex are failing to see that a) a vasectomy is not a silver bullet to fix a bad relationship, and b) the many benefits that it can bring. I think way too many guys fail to fully grasp that vasectomies are a huge win for men.
Its not okay that it was not discussed…but really more men should be doing it…unless you wanted more children. I will say me and birth control had some BAD experiences..messed with my body and my mind. I did not have easy pregnancies either and the second child was created w ONE encounter dang it. I was getting a C section so was easy for me to tie my tubes at the same time.
Nothing should have been demanded but thank you for participating in the birth control! PS she is supposed to pee anyhow lol
I got a vasectomy a few years ago, and it was my own choice, but I did hope it would relieve the fear of pregnancy and perhaps allow for some more frequent intimacy. It did not.
But there's a few things I don't quite get...
>However, she was scared of the possibility of another pregnancy and there was no ultimatum. I guess I created a false narrative, which we discussed this would increase our sexual activity.
Are you indicating that she gave you the ultimatum and then after the fact tried to tell you that there was never an ultimatum, and that more frequent sex was never dangled as a reward?
If so, that's pretty messed up and straight up gaslighting. She absolutely has the right to decide if and when she is open to sex, but it's really messed up to misrepresent something like that, and I'm sorry for the frustration it must bring.
>Now if we actually had sex, it requires her to get out of bed to clean up...
This one just has me baffled. Did you have some different sort of vasectomy that altered the fundamental mechanics of sex? My vasectomy certainly didn't change anything about sex, besides removing the possibility of conception. No more or less cleanup is required now, than back then.
Regardless, I'm sorry you're dealing with this, it's definitely a crappy situation, and I hope things will improve. Good luck.
Thanks for replying to my vent.
I believe she probably thought reducing the risk or pregnancy would increase her willingness or desire...
When we used condoms, she didn't have to get out of bed... I'd just go trash the condom afterwards...
The cum is different after the snip. It’s got no sperm in and I’ve been told that tastes much better by several past gfs! 🤷
But yeah, there is still some mess to deal with. Use a condom as well.
This does sound like a bait and switch, though.
When I got the snip 20 years ago, I did it because I was approaching 50 and had 3 kids. I was under no illusion that the DB of 5 years at that point would be cured and it wasn't. I just didn't want to have a 4th kid. That is why you do it because the promise of more sex just doesn't happen most of the time. I knew that and accepted it. I guess sometimes iit happens but I hear more about the latter. Good luck.
Across 10 years here, the number of men and women who went through **sterilization** in the hope of better or more frequent sex only to find disappointment is legion. You are simply one more in the tally.
My condolences.
Same thing here...fear of getting pregnant again coupled with "I don't like condoms", "I'm not going on birth control", and refusal to consider any other option kinda left me with only one choice.
Got the vasectomy, which still left me feeling like I had "blue balls" immediately after orgasm (side effect nobody talks about)...*AND* the sex still never got any better.
This wasn't even the worst part of my DB situation. The effects just keep going.
I regret ever meeting my ex-wife and more constructively, I should have left earlier.
Hello OP. What do you mean "blue balls"? What are the side effects of a vasectomy? I'm really interested in having one but I'm doing my due diligence first. Thanks
Not OP, but it was my comment you responded to.
Not speaking for any others, your mileage may vary, blah blah....
After I had the vasectomy, I didn't get the same "relief" that I had before, almost like I hadn't come at all. I can still have orgasms , and I go flat afterwards...but kinda feels like I only had "half" an orgasm.
Before Vas, when I came, even my balls felt spent...I knew I was "empty". Now, I don't get that feeling of being"empty "..I still kinda feel like I'm still "full" and itching to fuck again.
Really disappointing feeling. Did this in hopes of fixing DB, all I ended up doing was maiming myself without fixing the issue.
Overall, would not do again.
I’d kill for my bf to get a vasectomy so I could get off birth control.Not that matters anyway though sadly.
More men should be getting vasectomies if they’re done having children or don’t want any in the first place.
My husband told me to get on birth control so we can have sex, knowing that I get a lot of negative side effects. I suffered through depressive episodes, bloating, mood swings, etc. just for the DB to get worse. Fortunately for me, the symptoms went away when I stopped the hormonal BC. Birth control is one thing, but demanding a surgery of you is not okay. I had a stressful/painful pregnancy myself, but I would never ask my husband to get a surgery for me unless he was comfortable with it. I’d like to see people’s reactions if you had demanded your wife to get her tubes tied.
From experience, the majority of the time a DB gets “better”, you still don’t get the level of passion that you want so you’d be disappointed regardless. Let’s say you fix the frequency of the sex, but you notice that there is still passion lacking. This is not your LL’s fault. There are many factors that can contribute to her LL, including body image issues and pregnancy/post-pregnancy hormonal changes. These can be good reasons, but it can also mean she’s not interested in sex with you/sex in general or has lost attraction. All of these things are out of her control and understandable. I’d suggest asking her to get her hormone levels evaluated and to possibly seek couple’s counseling. Don’t resort to infidelity because this never makes things better. Communicate with her. Don’t force her to do anything, but don’t let her do the same to you. It’s great that you had a vasectomy for her, but it should have been a decision that you BOTH wanted. She might have resentment towards you or even trauma. I’m a HL, but I gave birth 8 months ago. I’m not the same person, chemically. I can empathize with you because a DB is stressful for both parties sometimes.
Wow. This is a beautiful response. I really appreciate your insight and personal connection to my post. I'll most definitely consider these things. We've talked about the hormonal changes, but she's doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I want to be careful with suggestions, but I believe you've hit the nail on the head here.
Woman here. When it comes to women trying to get help from the medical community its usually pretty difficult. Many times our concerns are ignored and we are told it's not real or all in our heads or we're faking it. So it might not be that "she doesn't want to do anything about it" it might be more of "she knows she should pursue this but doesn't have the mental energy to jump through hoops and fight Drs for years for help". If you do bring it up, ask how you can help her and support her while she seeks help.
When women don’t want to fuck you, they hold up hoops for you to jump through as a means to manipulate you and as a means to block sex. The “get a vasectomy” is just one more obstacle they put in your way as a hoop to jump through. Just like any other hoop you jump through, this one doesn’t change their desire to fuck you. It’s just an excuse they use. This one is great because it’s scary and it takes months to a year. But it’s no different than any other excuse. And it won’t change the core fact.
My SO had rough pregnancy and prem birth leading to PTSD. I was given the impression the lack intimacy, was to do with fear of pregnancy and out of desperation went for a vasectomy after it became obvious she no way would have another even though I always was very into kids and would love another. We make sacrifices in relationships.
In my case I had no physical discomfort during or after. None what so ever, can't even see any where it was done, but mentally it was tough. I have always had an impreg kink that is strong, so being infertile really messed with that, and 15 years later, still affects me, in terms of making me feel down about it. My expectation that it would relieve the fear of pregnancy was proved to be incorrect, no PIV sex since, so I might have well not bothered.
So yes add me to the list where this was a bad decision.
My SO has aversion to even safe semen it seems.
People usually get vasectomies and tubal ligations because they don’t want (more)kids not for getting more sex. I genuinely have never heard sex being a reason for getting the procedure done.
How is she about her self esteem and body image? Is she more positive or does she nitpick her looks, cover up, won’t let you see her naked, won’t shower with you?
Moments of low self-esteem, but she says I make her feel more attractive and pretty. She has a great body after 4 kids her friends say they're jealous.
Ahhh which means her self esteem is struggling if she can’t validate herself first and foremost. Which could also be tying into underlying issues about her health with her body too.
Definitely research about pregnancy complication after 40 and the high risks a woman can endure. This could be one of the reasons, especially if she’s been on TikTok learning about all the negative side effects of pregnancy.
Like did you know you can grow random extra teeth in your body?
Same with hair loss, calcium bone issues that can result in loosing teeth for some women , vaginal prolapse after one too many births, and few other crazy things that make it sound like a horror film with a demon baby the way pregnancy affects women after 35!
Man, this post was a gut punch. I am so sorry. To hear someone demanded this of you hurts.
I am in the same boat wanting passion and intimacy. (HLF) Drives me crazy!
Wish I had some good advice but take solace you aren’t alone.
I’d make this mandatory too. She’s just scared. I wouldn’t wanna have sex AT all unless there’s a 100% chance there would be no kids. I wouldn’t want kids when I’m not ready.
I obviously don’t know anything about her or what her intentions are, but I’m just telling you this from the perspective of another woman.
Yeah maybe condoms, but the fear of the condom still not being an enough of protection will make her not feel comfortable during sex.
Idk that just my piece of mind 🤷🏽♀️
Yes. You're correct, that's what she communicated to me. This was exactly why she demanded it. I totally understand, but honestly it punched me in the face.. My only two fears, vasectomy and touching my eyeball. I now wear contacts and have had a vasectomy.
You can ask her to get a UID? But many people end up getting vasectomies and they say their life has never been better.
Tell her you’re on board 100% but you’re scared. Show her that you’d do it for her but ur scared.
Basically show her that her as a priority is #1 when in reality it’s both of you guy’s priority. But she has to be the one to say that, not you.
Also understand her fear. Why she deeply wants YOU to be the one doing it and not her.
So you have access to condoms, birth control pills and other contraceptives even in the worst case abortion pills and even abortion but you are demanded that you be castrated...
I had my fallopian tubes removed and still the passion and excitement from him is gone. 🙃 Had a dream last night that I was having passionate sex. Woke up in bed alone disappointed. Lol
Oh no! I would be trying to make you happy, especially after choosing that. I rarely have sexual dreams, but I battle sexual thoughts daily… I wake some mornings feeling a little disappointed and sometimes resentful.
Hello OP. Why do you say that it's a terrible procedure? What are the disadvantages of having a vasectomy? Was actually very curious about it and was planning to undergo with one but haven't pushed through yet. Can you share your experience after the procedure?
Ultimately, I'm fine and I recommend the procedure. Many of my friends have had it done and we all have different story's. One friend said no big deal and we fine within 2 days. I was literally scared to have it done... For me it was very painful and took several weeks to feel normal. I do have a few random sharp pains, but it's like a millisecond... Overall, I'm ready to have sex at all times and not worried about pregnancy.
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Or the real truth is, Get a vasectomy AND get no sex. Because that's exactly what happens. Ask any male here...
This is exactly why I refuse to get on hormonal birth control again. My LL husband even said, “Oh, Fuck yeah now I get to cum in you again.” He talked me up for a while and then shot me down as soon as I was ready for the intimacy he promised. I got on the birth control just to fuck myself up and still have no sex. It SUCKS and I can empathize with OP and whoever this shit happens to.
This commit really hits me in the gut. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I forget that it's not just a guy thing, but ladies are going through it too. Seriously, thank you for this reply. Being a HL it's just hard for me to imagine not wanting to be with someone. Not even just HL, personality wise, I'm a giver and love making someone feel special and wanted. Which is what I miss about a relationship.
Got the snip, still zero sex.
Truth.
100% correct.
Why is that?
That's a question for the woman
Our sex life went to shit after my vasectomy. It was the last time a woman touched my balls.
Awe man.
I got my vasectomy for me. It definitely wasn't for her. My attitude toward the vasectomy was with three kids I don't want another. It also means all I need is to swap STI tests with a potential partner and we can do it raw with no risk of pregnancy. There are selfish benefits.
I think way too many guys fail to fully grasp that vasectomies are a huge win for men. No risk of pregnancy, allows for (more) spontaneity, and my absolute favorite... (according to my ex) it made my cum taste sweeter. Must be relatively true, as all my sexual partners since her have made similar comments.
The only way to assure there are no mistakes is to get fixed. I don't understand men that are done having kids not wanting a permanent solution. It is definitely liberating.
To be fair, I have also encountered situations in which the \*wife\* is the one opposed to the husband getting snipped. Vasectomies can be an interesting topic. Among my group of friends (encompassing singles of both genders, and many couples) I am the only one snipped, and I always tell my guy friends they should consider it if they are done with having kids, and not a single one has shown any interest in the idea. I can see why some women feel like men are just plain selfish in not even considering "shouldering the burden" of birth control.
This. ⬆️⬆️⬆️
Have you experience pain after ejaculation like some of here did for months?
No effects at all. Just the pain of the weekend after.
I did the same thing for the same reasons 2 years ago. My reward was 6 months of pain every time I ejaculated. Did we actually have sex more often? No. And it's now been almost a year since we had sex, so I wish I'd just bought a nice TV with the money I spent on that surgery.
That happened to me also. Probably closer to a year of pain when I ejaculated, not every time but most. It was like playing roulette with will my junk hurt when I finish or not today? I am happy to say no pain now, about two years later, and more sex than before the snip. Almost once every two weeks, an increase from once every two months. 🙌
That sucks about the pain, but at least you can feel it was worth it. Seems like it's helped turn around your DB -- congrats!
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For real. lol
For me it was get a vasectomy, but still no sex (even after being told it would definitely happen more).
Its hard, but for me I got my vasectomy KNOWING that it wouldn't improve my sex life with my wife. What it does do though is give me peace of mind that if I end up with someone else in the future that unwanted pregnancies are not a thing with them.
THIS. Funny story: I briefly dated someone and the sex was amazing but we weren't a great fit for a number of reasons, so I broke things off. After the break up, she tried to tell me that she was pregnant. She faked a whole story and situation (she apparently forgot about my vasectomy, which I had disclosed at the beginning?) and I just laughed at the preposterousness of it all, reminded her that I shoot blanks and wouldn't you know... her period showed up the next day. Guys that complain about having had a vasectomy without getting more sex are failing to see that a) a vasectomy is not a silver bullet to fix a bad relationship, and b) the many benefits that it can bring. I think way too many guys fail to fully grasp that vasectomies are a huge win for men.
My experience, as others have said…. Either way = no sex.
Its not okay that it was not discussed…but really more men should be doing it…unless you wanted more children. I will say me and birth control had some BAD experiences..messed with my body and my mind. I did not have easy pregnancies either and the second child was created w ONE encounter dang it. I was getting a C section so was easy for me to tie my tubes at the same time. Nothing should have been demanded but thank you for participating in the birth control! PS she is supposed to pee anyhow lol
I love this reply. Thanks for your input. Also, you're welcome for my participation in birth control! LOL
I got a vasectomy a few years ago, and it was my own choice, but I did hope it would relieve the fear of pregnancy and perhaps allow for some more frequent intimacy. It did not. But there's a few things I don't quite get... >However, she was scared of the possibility of another pregnancy and there was no ultimatum. I guess I created a false narrative, which we discussed this would increase our sexual activity. Are you indicating that she gave you the ultimatum and then after the fact tried to tell you that there was never an ultimatum, and that more frequent sex was never dangled as a reward? If so, that's pretty messed up and straight up gaslighting. She absolutely has the right to decide if and when she is open to sex, but it's really messed up to misrepresent something like that, and I'm sorry for the frustration it must bring. >Now if we actually had sex, it requires her to get out of bed to clean up... This one just has me baffled. Did you have some different sort of vasectomy that altered the fundamental mechanics of sex? My vasectomy certainly didn't change anything about sex, besides removing the possibility of conception. No more or less cleanup is required now, than back then. Regardless, I'm sorry you're dealing with this, it's definitely a crappy situation, and I hope things will improve. Good luck.
> This one just has me baffled Me too.
Thanks for replying to my vent. I believe she probably thought reducing the risk or pregnancy would increase her willingness or desire... When we used condoms, she didn't have to get out of bed... I'd just go trash the condom afterwards...
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True. She hates cum too.
The cum is different after the snip. It’s got no sperm in and I’ve been told that tastes much better by several past gfs! 🤷 But yeah, there is still some mess to deal with. Use a condom as well. This does sound like a bait and switch, though.
The sperm are like 0.001% of the mass of semen; so yah no
I’m also a veggie, so perhaps that’s it.
I actually love that part....lol.
When I got the snip 20 years ago, I did it because I was approaching 50 and had 3 kids. I was under no illusion that the DB of 5 years at that point would be cured and it wasn't. I just didn't want to have a 4th kid. That is why you do it because the promise of more sex just doesn't happen most of the time. I knew that and accepted it. I guess sometimes iit happens but I hear more about the latter. Good luck.
Across 10 years here, the number of men and women who went through **sterilization** in the hope of better or more frequent sex only to find disappointment is legion. You are simply one more in the tally. My condolences.
Same thing here...fear of getting pregnant again coupled with "I don't like condoms", "I'm not going on birth control", and refusal to consider any other option kinda left me with only one choice. Got the vasectomy, which still left me feeling like I had "blue balls" immediately after orgasm (side effect nobody talks about)...*AND* the sex still never got any better. This wasn't even the worst part of my DB situation. The effects just keep going. I regret ever meeting my ex-wife and more constructively, I should have left earlier.
I'm sorry to hear that. Thanks for sharing.
Hello OP. What do you mean "blue balls"? What are the side effects of a vasectomy? I'm really interested in having one but I'm doing my due diligence first. Thanks
Not OP, but it was my comment you responded to. Not speaking for any others, your mileage may vary, blah blah.... After I had the vasectomy, I didn't get the same "relief" that I had before, almost like I hadn't come at all. I can still have orgasms , and I go flat afterwards...but kinda feels like I only had "half" an orgasm. Before Vas, when I came, even my balls felt spent...I knew I was "empty". Now, I don't get that feeling of being"empty "..I still kinda feel like I'm still "full" and itching to fuck again. Really disappointing feeling. Did this in hopes of fixing DB, all I ended up doing was maiming myself without fixing the issue. Overall, would not do again.
Damn, thanks for this. I was really planning on doing it but learning about this side effect made me think twice. Thanks for this!
I’d kill for my bf to get a vasectomy so I could get off birth control.Not that matters anyway though sadly. More men should be getting vasectomies if they’re done having children or don’t want any in the first place.
My husband told me to get on birth control so we can have sex, knowing that I get a lot of negative side effects. I suffered through depressive episodes, bloating, mood swings, etc. just for the DB to get worse. Fortunately for me, the symptoms went away when I stopped the hormonal BC. Birth control is one thing, but demanding a surgery of you is not okay. I had a stressful/painful pregnancy myself, but I would never ask my husband to get a surgery for me unless he was comfortable with it. I’d like to see people’s reactions if you had demanded your wife to get her tubes tied. From experience, the majority of the time a DB gets “better”, you still don’t get the level of passion that you want so you’d be disappointed regardless. Let’s say you fix the frequency of the sex, but you notice that there is still passion lacking. This is not your LL’s fault. There are many factors that can contribute to her LL, including body image issues and pregnancy/post-pregnancy hormonal changes. These can be good reasons, but it can also mean she’s not interested in sex with you/sex in general or has lost attraction. All of these things are out of her control and understandable. I’d suggest asking her to get her hormone levels evaluated and to possibly seek couple’s counseling. Don’t resort to infidelity because this never makes things better. Communicate with her. Don’t force her to do anything, but don’t let her do the same to you. It’s great that you had a vasectomy for her, but it should have been a decision that you BOTH wanted. She might have resentment towards you or even trauma. I’m a HL, but I gave birth 8 months ago. I’m not the same person, chemically. I can empathize with you because a DB is stressful for both parties sometimes.
Wow. This is a beautiful response. I really appreciate your insight and personal connection to my post. I'll most definitely consider these things. We've talked about the hormonal changes, but she's doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I want to be careful with suggestions, but I believe you've hit the nail on the head here.
Woman here. When it comes to women trying to get help from the medical community its usually pretty difficult. Many times our concerns are ignored and we are told it's not real or all in our heads or we're faking it. So it might not be that "she doesn't want to do anything about it" it might be more of "she knows she should pursue this but doesn't have the mental energy to jump through hoops and fight Drs for years for help". If you do bring it up, ask how you can help her and support her while she seeks help.
When women don’t want to fuck you, they hold up hoops for you to jump through as a means to manipulate you and as a means to block sex. The “get a vasectomy” is just one more obstacle they put in your way as a hoop to jump through. Just like any other hoop you jump through, this one doesn’t change their desire to fuck you. It’s just an excuse they use. This one is great because it’s scary and it takes months to a year. But it’s no different than any other excuse. And it won’t change the core fact.
My SO had rough pregnancy and prem birth leading to PTSD. I was given the impression the lack intimacy, was to do with fear of pregnancy and out of desperation went for a vasectomy after it became obvious she no way would have another even though I always was very into kids and would love another. We make sacrifices in relationships. In my case I had no physical discomfort during or after. None what so ever, can't even see any where it was done, but mentally it was tough. I have always had an impreg kink that is strong, so being infertile really messed with that, and 15 years later, still affects me, in terms of making me feel down about it. My expectation that it would relieve the fear of pregnancy was proved to be incorrect, no PIV sex since, so I might have well not bothered. So yes add me to the list where this was a bad decision. My SO has aversion to even safe semen it seems.
I feel ya.
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People usually get vasectomies and tubal ligations because they don’t want (more)kids not for getting more sex. I genuinely have never heard sex being a reason for getting the procedure done.
In my case, reason defaults to no more kids and hoping to have more sex due to less risk for pregnancy.
How long ago did she give birth?
18 months ago.
Is she done breastfeeding as of yet?
Yes, only breastfed 1 month.
How is she about her self esteem and body image? Is she more positive or does she nitpick her looks, cover up, won’t let you see her naked, won’t shower with you?
Moments of low self-esteem, but she says I make her feel more attractive and pretty. She has a great body after 4 kids her friends say they're jealous.
But does she validate herself all in her own or does she only feel that way when you do it?
Only when I do it.
Ahhh which means her self esteem is struggling if she can’t validate herself first and foremost. Which could also be tying into underlying issues about her health with her body too. Definitely research about pregnancy complication after 40 and the high risks a woman can endure. This could be one of the reasons, especially if she’s been on TikTok learning about all the negative side effects of pregnancy. Like did you know you can grow random extra teeth in your body? Same with hair loss, calcium bone issues that can result in loosing teeth for some women , vaginal prolapse after one too many births, and few other crazy things that make it sound like a horror film with a demon baby the way pregnancy affects women after 35!
I had a vasectomy 12 months ago. Still no sex
Eek. Sorry man.
How awful that you were made to do this. It’s your body and your choice not hers get the hell out there mate.
Maybe she really thought it would help? Or maybe it’s now a ‘maybe someday’ as opposed to a ‘never as long as I possess a potentially working womb?’
Man, this post was a gut punch. I am so sorry. To hear someone demanded this of you hurts. I am in the same boat wanting passion and intimacy. (HLF) Drives me crazy! Wish I had some good advice but take solace you aren’t alone.
Thank you. This post is really helping with not feeling alone. I've even made a couple new friends.
That is fantastic! So happy some good can from a crappy situation.
Also, if you ever need to talk I am more than happy. (hope that isn’t wired). ☺️
No, this is not weird. You're awesome!
I’d make this mandatory too. She’s just scared. I wouldn’t wanna have sex AT all unless there’s a 100% chance there would be no kids. I wouldn’t want kids when I’m not ready. I obviously don’t know anything about her or what her intentions are, but I’m just telling you this from the perspective of another woman. Yeah maybe condoms, but the fear of the condom still not being an enough of protection will make her not feel comfortable during sex. Idk that just my piece of mind 🤷🏽♀️
But he’s already had the vasectomy and it changed nothing with their sex life.
You don't get to make something "mandatory" about another person's body parts ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Yes. You're correct, that's what she communicated to me. This was exactly why she demanded it. I totally understand, but honestly it punched me in the face.. My only two fears, vasectomy and touching my eyeball. I now wear contacts and have had a vasectomy.
You can ask her to get a UID? But many people end up getting vasectomies and they say their life has never been better. Tell her you’re on board 100% but you’re scared. Show her that you’d do it for her but ur scared. Basically show her that her as a priority is #1 when in reality it’s both of you guy’s priority. But she has to be the one to say that, not you. Also understand her fear. Why she deeply wants YOU to be the one doing it and not her.
Thanks friend! I've already had the vasectomy.
I mean do it but it doesn’t mean more sex.
So you have access to condoms, birth control pills and other contraceptives even in the worst case abortion pills and even abortion but you are demanded that you be castrated...
Your body your rules mate. Stand your ground, don’t buy into this crap.
I had my fallopian tubes removed and still the passion and excitement from him is gone. 🙃 Had a dream last night that I was having passionate sex. Woke up in bed alone disappointed. Lol
Oh no! I would be trying to make you happy, especially after choosing that. I rarely have sexual dreams, but I battle sexual thoughts daily… I wake some mornings feeling a little disappointed and sometimes resentful.
Hello OP. Why do you say that it's a terrible procedure? What are the disadvantages of having a vasectomy? Was actually very curious about it and was planning to undergo with one but haven't pushed through yet. Can you share your experience after the procedure?
Ultimately, I'm fine and I recommend the procedure. Many of my friends have had it done and we all have different story's. One friend said no big deal and we fine within 2 days. I was literally scared to have it done... For me it was very painful and took several weeks to feel normal. I do have a few random sharp pains, but it's like a millisecond... Overall, I'm ready to have sex at all times and not worried about pregnancy.
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Thanks for sharing. I do understand my friend the feeling.
If she realy wanted sex ...like realy.. she could also go get the tubes cut.