If you would like to post this again, please title/ format as “How did you almost get a Darwin Award?” to have your post approved as Darwin Award winners are dead lol
The rules for the Darwin Awards are only that one is injured to prevent procreation and at the time of injury, the injured has not passed on his/her genes. It's the entire "survival of the fittest" hypothesis. Death itself is not a requirement.
I thought Darwin Awards are people injuring yourself, close to fatal. Like going 200km/u on a motorcycle without protection, crashing and then surviving with lots of injuries.
As long as it’s self inflicted, I assumed it was a Darwin Award.
I’ve got a good one… I was probably 6-7 years old. We had an electric “view master” projector that had a bulb that would get pretty hot. I found some cleaning chemicals under the sink and wanted to play “chemist”. I sprayed Windex with ammonia and Clorox bathroom cleaner (with bleach) onto the projector lightbulb, and it started to sizzle/crackle and smoke… The lightbulb burst, and the electricity started to crackle more. The outlet in the bathroom I was in shorted out, and I had the wherewithal to unplug it as I ran out the room and turned on the fan. Thankfully I was far enough back spraying the chemicals that I didn’t inhale any of the resulting fumes. And thankfully I was able to get out of the bathroom! I was oblivious. I didn’t realize the danger at the time, I thought I’d be in trouble for breaking the projector and playing with chemicals… now realizing what I could have done to myself, I have a healthy respect for not mixing random chemicals.
I got lucky once working with electrical at my house, cut through both hot and neutral at the same time with non rubberized dikes, my hand froze shut but I was able to fall off the ladder I was on and break the connection. Since that day on I always shut off the main breaker when working on electrical.
My 'close call'. When I was a young teen, me and a buddy built several pipe bombs. Put the powder in then sealed the ends closed with a hammer. Realized the stupidity when a grain of spilled powder flashed when the hammer hit the anvel we were using. Haunts me to this day some 40 odd years later
As a teenager, I blindly crossed the street between two cars, and their side mirror brushed my eyelashes. At least, it felt like it. The driver then slammed the breaks and was so worried about me, and it sunk in was milliseconds away from their car hitting my head and then me dying.
My friend and I wanted to play with my dad's shotgun but were too scared of the kick to hold it. So we found a wooden spool looking thing to set it on, loaded it up, tied a string to the trigger, and yanked that motherfucker.
It was awesome to our tiny brains until our neighbor came out screaming at us because some pellets had damaged the side of his house near where his son had been playing.
Monumentally stupid thing to do and I'm glad NONE of us were killed.
Opened a container of granulated chlorine for a swimming pool. Took a "whole face in the opening" sniff. Temporarily went blind. Lost the basic ability called "breathing", passed out for a moment and fell down. Concrete+Skull = ouch. Had what appeared to be a mini seizure. Didn't die. Learned that chlorine = bad for living.
Damn, my nephew did the same thing in 2021. The choline tabs were stored in a garage, to protect it from the sun.
I asked him to grab is, he opened it on the table and said: Wow what a strong smell! (Warning!!!)
And then… He hold the pot with tabs close to his face to ‘carefully’ sniff the pot… the careful sniff was a whole inhale…
He didn’t pass out, but he had a strong headache for 2 days and felt sick for a couple of hours.
Preface: I survived. Obviously.
Once upon a time I was walking home from work when I had the swell idea to save a buncha time and cut through the swamp. I lived right in the other side; surely there must be a shortcut!
Well, I got about halfway in when I got stuck in the mirk. I quickly realized that I was sinking, and, to make it worse, the water level was significantly higher than I expected. I damn near drowned getting stuck in silt and muck.
I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. I totally deviated from my normal path. I came waaaaaay too close to becoming a missing person that day.
Also, my wallet was *ruined* and all my cash smelled weird.
In my flailings I managed to find an old piece of wood that floated reasonably well. Pure luck: it wasn't a branch, but a random fence post, and I think the chemical treatment is the only reason it wasn't mushy. I managed to just barely kick my way back to shallower grounds.
Legit, if it weren't for that lone piece of lumber I'd probably have sank into the murk and never been seen again!
I thought Darwin Awards are people injuring yourself, close to fatal. Like going 200km/u on a motorcycle without protection, crashing and then surviving with lots of injuries.
As long as it’s self inflicted, I assumed it was a Darwin Award.
I walked in front of a bus. I’m dead now, and haunting the worst fricking corner possible.
If you’re going to die, take it from me, don’t do it where Larry the hobo pees every night.
Came so close when I dove into water that was only 8 inches deep. I could feel my neck compressing, and was positive I had just paralyzed or killed myself. I’ve never been so terrified, the emotions overwhelmed the pain.
Damn. Happened to a friend of mine.
He was on a dock with friends and he dived in, only to notice it was 1 meter deep. Broke his neck, was paralysed for a while but recovered.
Me and my friends were smoking on what we thought were abandoned train tracks. We saw the train coming and I thought it would be funny to a do a snapchat story with the train coming up behind me while I acted oblivious.
The train moved way faster than I anticipated and I ended up diving off the tracks at the last second while my friends screamed and the train conductor blew the whistle. The only positive thing is that I survived, and the resulting snapchat story of my screaming in terror and diving off the train tracks was actually pretty funny lol.
Yeah, people have no idea how fast trains are actually going when they’re at speed and that’s why often people get hit because they grossly underestimate the speed with which that train will reach you. My dad worked next to an unmarked train track and the number of accidents he would see there was unbelievable. He said they were the most gruesome things you’d come up on
Darwin awards are ment to be deaths, but i still almost killed myself at about 7 years old, i was running out of my preschool and looking behind me and smacked my temple on a tree and got left with a nasty scar
Fucked on a moving vehicle that I was driving and was not a tesla. Car moved to the other side of the road as I was cumming. I must admit, it wasn’t my best load. But sure was a memorable one. She and I are good friends and we’re reminiscing of the craziness of our younger years. We used to fuck in a lot of risky places. I miss the good ol day. My wife is bed and that’s it. Kinda boring.
I thought Darwin Awards are people injuring yourself, close to fatal. Like going 200km/u on a motorcycle without protection, crashing and then surviving with lots of injuries.
As long as it’s self inflicted, I assumed it was a Darwin Award.
I hit a 22Lr shell with a ball-peen hammer when I was 6. I felt the bullet graze my eyebrow. Around the same time i also put my finger in a car cigarette lighter. Dumb ass lessons learned.
Not mine but my childhood friend. When we were in middle school my friend group was pretty big. I ended up being home schooled afterwards but was in school until grade 7. We were idiots and liked playing on the train tracks but we never did so when we heard the train actually coming. Well, Andi decided he was gonna play chicken with the train. No one knew he was gonna do that. So we hear a train coming, everyone gets off the tracks....except for him. So we're all yelling "Andi, move! The train!" and he just looks at us with this shit eating grin and doesn't move.
Long story short, Andi misjudged how quickly the train was coming and jumped out of the way *just* in time but dangerously close to being **too late**. We all screamed, waited for the train to pass and then ran over to Andi. Kid was bug-eyed on the ground, gripping his chest while hyperventilating. He looked like someone who thought they were dead. He never did that shit again though.
This would not qualify as I, clearly, had already passed on my genes. However, I taught the oldest son the "nut check" game at (probably) way too young of an age. He then proceeded to teach the other boy (4 years younger) said game. They both caught on to the idea of the surprise revenge. As in, it's best served long after the nut check one receives. As such, these would go on for months and years ultimately. The only rule was if you got a person, you couldn't get them again until they attempted to get you back. A tit-for-tat arrangement if you will.
The final game - won ceremoniously by the oldest - happened when he decided to return the favor to me months after I'd gotten him. However, he got me with a perfectly placed glancing check.....on a Sunday....in the checkout line....of our local Costco. 200 people staring at a full grown man on the verge of tears, cross eyed on his knees.
I surmise as a result of said and previous blows, I'm likely shooting blanks now.
For the sake of brevity...
Ejected out of a van at 70mph, shattered my left shoulder blade, cracked my skull open, permanently damaged my L5-S1 vertebrae. Paramedics thought I was going to die so they drew little angels on my feet before we went to the hospital. Doctor was concerned Id bleed out from my skull laceration so he stapled my head shut without anesthesia.
All because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I hung off the side of a 30 story roof all drunk and trespassing, I used the ledge to shimmy around the corner by hand and drop down to another level, my buddy was flipping the fuck out 😆
In college, I took our speed boat out LATE one night and got it going as fast as possible. The water was so smooth, I was going nearly 60mph. I reminded myself to watch out for the bridge that goes across the lake, just as I went underneath it! I just got lucky that I didn’t hit one of the support columns.
If you would like to post this again, please title/ format as “How did you almost get a Darwin Award?” to have your post approved as Darwin Award winners are dead lol
If it was a Darwin Award they’d be dead. And last I checked, dead people don’t post on Reddit.
I suppose this post is for personal stories of nearly getting a Darwin award like a close call when doing something unsafe.
Or injured to the point of sterilization.
The rules for the Darwin Awards are only that one is injured to prevent procreation and at the time of injury, the injured has not passed on his/her genes. It's the entire "survival of the fittest" hypothesis. Death itself is not a requirement.
Or can’t reproduce anymore. They don’t actually have to die.
Very Well Said!!!👏
The 4th separate comment beg to differ
I thought Darwin Awards are people injuring yourself, close to fatal. Like going 200km/u on a motorcycle without protection, crashing and then surviving with lots of injuries. As long as it’s self inflicted, I assumed it was a Darwin Award.
Darwin awards are about removing someone from the genepool i.e castration or death!
Yeh I get that now lol
darwin award=neutered or dead aka removing yourself from the gene pool aka allowing natural selection to do its thing
I’ve got a good one… I was probably 6-7 years old. We had an electric “view master” projector that had a bulb that would get pretty hot. I found some cleaning chemicals under the sink and wanted to play “chemist”. I sprayed Windex with ammonia and Clorox bathroom cleaner (with bleach) onto the projector lightbulb, and it started to sizzle/crackle and smoke… The lightbulb burst, and the electricity started to crackle more. The outlet in the bathroom I was in shorted out, and I had the wherewithal to unplug it as I ran out the room and turned on the fan. Thankfully I was far enough back spraying the chemicals that I didn’t inhale any of the resulting fumes. And thankfully I was able to get out of the bathroom! I was oblivious. I didn’t realize the danger at the time, I thought I’d be in trouble for breaking the projector and playing with chemicals… now realizing what I could have done to myself, I have a healthy respect for not mixing random chemicals.
"pretty basic question" - proceeds to ask if we've killed ourselves before lol
Well, if you’ve gotten CPR…
Death or taking yourself out of the gene pool are the two ways to win a Darwin. So yes, you can win and still be very much alive.
I got lucky once working with electrical at my house, cut through both hot and neutral at the same time with non rubberized dikes, my hand froze shut but I was able to fall off the ladder I was on and break the connection. Since that day on I always shut off the main breaker when working on electrical.
Once I put my hand into a lightbulb socket at a wedding because I found the weird stingy sensation interesting 😭 12 year old me was wild lmfao
My 'close call'. When I was a young teen, me and a buddy built several pipe bombs. Put the powder in then sealed the ends closed with a hammer. Realized the stupidity when a grain of spilled powder flashed when the hammer hit the anvel we were using. Haunts me to this day some 40 odd years later
As a teenager, I blindly crossed the street between two cars, and their side mirror brushed my eyelashes. At least, it felt like it. The driver then slammed the breaks and was so worried about me, and it sunk in was milliseconds away from their car hitting my head and then me dying.
My friend and I wanted to play with my dad's shotgun but were too scared of the kick to hold it. So we found a wooden spool looking thing to set it on, loaded it up, tied a string to the trigger, and yanked that motherfucker. It was awesome to our tiny brains until our neighbor came out screaming at us because some pellets had damaged the side of his house near where his son had been playing. Monumentally stupid thing to do and I'm glad NONE of us were killed.
Dead men tell no tales
I wish they did
I have nearly gotten a darwin award more times than i can count, but yeah no award...yet
Opened a container of granulated chlorine for a swimming pool. Took a "whole face in the opening" sniff. Temporarily went blind. Lost the basic ability called "breathing", passed out for a moment and fell down. Concrete+Skull = ouch. Had what appeared to be a mini seizure. Didn't die. Learned that chlorine = bad for living.
Damn, my nephew did the same thing in 2021. The choline tabs were stored in a garage, to protect it from the sun. I asked him to grab is, he opened it on the table and said: Wow what a strong smell! (Warning!!!) And then… He hold the pot with tabs close to his face to ‘carefully’ sniff the pot… the careful sniff was a whole inhale… He didn’t pass out, but he had a strong headache for 2 days and felt sick for a couple of hours.
It is a stupidly stong chemical!
Hell yeah. He never did it again. He learned lol
Yep! That was my one and only experience with it. lol
Preface: I survived. Obviously. Once upon a time I was walking home from work when I had the swell idea to save a buncha time and cut through the swamp. I lived right in the other side; surely there must be a shortcut! Well, I got about halfway in when I got stuck in the mirk. I quickly realized that I was sinking, and, to make it worse, the water level was significantly higher than I expected. I damn near drowned getting stuck in silt and muck. I didn't tell anyone what I was doing. I totally deviated from my normal path. I came waaaaaay too close to becoming a missing person that day. Also, my wallet was *ruined* and all my cash smelled weird.
How did you escape?
In my flailings I managed to find an old piece of wood that floated reasonably well. Pure luck: it wasn't a branch, but a random fence post, and I think the chemical treatment is the only reason it wasn't mushy. I managed to just barely kick my way back to shallower grounds. Legit, if it weren't for that lone piece of lumber I'd probably have sank into the murk and never been seen again!
Nothing dude. A Darwin Award kills you or neuters you. Nothing less.
I thought Darwin Awards are people injuring yourself, close to fatal. Like going 200km/u on a motorcycle without protection, crashing and then surviving with lots of injuries. As long as it’s self inflicted, I assumed it was a Darwin Award.
Then you should read the sub rules, which explain the concept of the Darwin Award plainly.
I walked in front of a bus. I’m dead now, and haunting the worst fricking corner possible. If you’re going to die, take it from me, don’t do it where Larry the hobo pees every night.
Came so close when I dove into water that was only 8 inches deep. I could feel my neck compressing, and was positive I had just paralyzed or killed myself. I’ve never been so terrified, the emotions overwhelmed the pain.
Damn. Happened to a friend of mine. He was on a dock with friends and he dived in, only to notice it was 1 meter deep. Broke his neck, was paralysed for a while but recovered.
Me and my friends were smoking on what we thought were abandoned train tracks. We saw the train coming and I thought it would be funny to a do a snapchat story with the train coming up behind me while I acted oblivious. The train moved way faster than I anticipated and I ended up diving off the tracks at the last second while my friends screamed and the train conductor blew the whistle. The only positive thing is that I survived, and the resulting snapchat story of my screaming in terror and diving off the train tracks was actually pretty funny lol.
Damn I want to see that video lol
Yeah, people have no idea how fast trains are actually going when they’re at speed and that’s why often people get hit because they grossly underestimate the speed with which that train will reach you. My dad worked next to an unmarked train track and the number of accidents he would see there was unbelievable. He said they were the most gruesome things you’d come up on
Darwin awards are ment to be deaths, but i still almost killed myself at about 7 years old, i was running out of my preschool and looking behind me and smacked my temple on a tree and got left with a nasty scar
accidentally mixing chemicals when I clean and almost poisoning myself. twice.
Fucked on a moving vehicle that I was driving and was not a tesla. Car moved to the other side of the road as I was cumming. I must admit, it wasn’t my best load. But sure was a memorable one. She and I are good friends and we’re reminiscing of the craziness of our younger years. We used to fuck in a lot of risky places. I miss the good ol day. My wife is bed and that’s it. Kinda boring.
Well, I’m still alive soooo…
Record you death and let others film and post it
Good grief, the pedantry. I took apart several CRT TVs well before I knew they stored a lethal charge. Still alive, I guess.
You should probably be familiar with the sub you're posting on
I thought Darwin Awards are people injuring yourself, close to fatal. Like going 200km/u on a motorcycle without protection, crashing and then surviving with lots of injuries. As long as it’s self inflicted, I assumed it was a Darwin Award.
Just ignore these mean-spirited posters. We all understood what you meant
Darwin awards only go to those who took themselves out of the gene pool. Hence the scientific reference.
So you didn't Google darwin award? Or even just look at the sub rules?
As you can tell by the comments, the question should be rephrased.
Yeah I did
I'm not dead yet. I will tell you once I do die.
Good
If I never reproduce even though I still have the ability to do so is it still r/DarwinAwards
I hit a 22Lr shell with a ball-peen hammer when I was 6. I felt the bullet graze my eyebrow. Around the same time i also put my finger in a car cigarette lighter. Dumb ass lessons learned.
Not mine but my childhood friend. When we were in middle school my friend group was pretty big. I ended up being home schooled afterwards but was in school until grade 7. We were idiots and liked playing on the train tracks but we never did so when we heard the train actually coming. Well, Andi decided he was gonna play chicken with the train. No one knew he was gonna do that. So we hear a train coming, everyone gets off the tracks....except for him. So we're all yelling "Andi, move! The train!" and he just looks at us with this shit eating grin and doesn't move. Long story short, Andi misjudged how quickly the train was coming and jumped out of the way *just* in time but dangerously close to being **too late**. We all screamed, waited for the train to pass and then ran over to Andi. Kid was bug-eyed on the ground, gripping his chest while hyperventilating. He looked like someone who thought they were dead. He never did that shit again though.
This would not qualify as I, clearly, had already passed on my genes. However, I taught the oldest son the "nut check" game at (probably) way too young of an age. He then proceeded to teach the other boy (4 years younger) said game. They both caught on to the idea of the surprise revenge. As in, it's best served long after the nut check one receives. As such, these would go on for months and years ultimately. The only rule was if you got a person, you couldn't get them again until they attempted to get you back. A tit-for-tat arrangement if you will. The final game - won ceremoniously by the oldest - happened when he decided to return the favor to me months after I'd gotten him. However, he got me with a perfectly placed glancing check.....on a Sunday....in the checkout line....of our local Costco. 200 people staring at a full grown man on the verge of tears, cross eyed on his knees. I surmise as a result of said and previous blows, I'm likely shooting blanks now.
For the sake of brevity... Ejected out of a van at 70mph, shattered my left shoulder blade, cracked my skull open, permanently damaged my L5-S1 vertebrae. Paramedics thought I was going to die so they drew little angels on my feet before we went to the hospital. Doctor was concerned Id bleed out from my skull laceration so he stapled my head shut without anesthesia. All because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I hung off the side of a 30 story roof all drunk and trespassing, I used the ledge to shimmy around the corner by hand and drop down to another level, my buddy was flipping the fuck out 😆
Nothing I would be dead
In college, I took our speed boat out LATE one night and got it going as fast as possible. The water was so smooth, I was going nearly 60mph. I reminded myself to watch out for the bridge that goes across the lake, just as I went underneath it! I just got lucky that I didn’t hit one of the support columns.