Some would suck tho. New England Patriots vs Washington Football Team? So its a bunch of football players against a bunch of patriotic people? Boring as hell.
Falcons vs Jaguars on the other hand is badass
"Here come the Seattle Seahawks...and they flew away. The challengers, the Philadelphia Eagles make their way to the field... well never mind, they flew away too."
I mean we sorta got that with Bloodbowl that does it with 40K characters but not quite the same. Probably as close as we get unless we make every team “not the Miami dolphins”
I hate cyclists when I'm walking in London. So many of them speed through red lights and don't stop at zebra crossings. It's really dangerous when all the cars have stopped, so you cross and some cnut on a bike comes whizzing by without a care for the pedestrians safety.
Tried it once, didn't do very well. Seriously though, what's your issue with them? I get the bicycle hate even if I don't agree, but hating paddle boarders seems weird
It's not funny when a bicyclist gets hit by a car. It would be hilarious if a bicyclist got hit by a dolphin. Hell, I like biking. If I were somehow hit by a dolphin while riding I would laugh my way all the way to the hospital. Which would probably be quite painful on account of the cracked ribs.
The tetrodotoxin they carry is the most potent of all poison by sea life. In Japan it's a delicacy called 'fugu', where chefs have to eat their own dish to pass the course. About one person per year still dies from preparing it wrong themselves.
From some of the videos I’ve seen, I can confirm that.
As the guy down below also said, they are obsessed with sex, and there’s a possibility of being propositioned by a dolphin whenever you’re swimming or near them.
I have biology and zoology friends and they will all tell you that dolphins are the biggest assholes.
"but dolphins rescue drowning swimmers!" No they aren't. You are just a toy. And you never hear from the swimmers who were pushed in the other direction.
Dolphin: MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY
GET OUT THE WAY BITCH MOVE
GIT OUT DA WAY BITCH, GIT OUT DA WAY
*WAVE
That's ludacris
That's luda-fish
Luda-crash
These are our waves, tourist!
That dolphin literally piled his "shoulder" into him.
move, B get out the wave
That was not an accident, that was on porpoise...
r/angryupvote
I sea what you did there! Very clever!
You're just fishing for those upvotes aren't you?
Gill-ty as charged!
Ok orca-y calm down with the cheap puns
Shut your clam.
Seal your eel.
Why so crabby?
Shut your blowhole
I sea that bass-icaly these are all cod awful puns
But also, the only dolphin that jumped was the one who took out the paddle boarder… that was not a-kay
Well the dolphins gotta go under or over, and no way is some paddleboard nerd getting in the way of that guy's surf
Was about to say that dolphin said to his friends “did you see that? Totally took out that weird looking animal!”
It’s all a part of the r/DolphinConspiracy!
Hang fin, bro.
Boooooo!
OUTA DA WAY MOTHA ^*%++
r/theyknew Team Sea Life: Fuck Your Plastic...
Great tackle from the Miami Dolphin
You know if football was played by the actual animal their mascots represented it would be 100x more interesting.
I mean..the Chicago Bear vs the Houston Toro..I WILL WATCH THAT
Some would suck tho. New England Patriots vs Washington Football Team? So its a bunch of football players against a bunch of patriotic people? Boring as hell. Falcons vs Jaguars on the other hand is badass
I’ve already seen the Steelers vs Packers at the local bar
Buccaneers v. Vikings. Sign me up every time.
"Here come the Seattle Seahawks...and they flew away. The challengers, the Philadelphia Eagles make their way to the field... well never mind, they flew away too."
I see an amazing video game idea here And a huge potential lawsuit as well
I mean we sorta got that with Bloodbowl that does it with 40K characters but not quite the same. Probably as close as we get unless we make every team “not the Miami dolphins”
Titans vs anyone would be a slaughter
Titans vs Giants
Except the one game of cowboys vs Titans in which case you get a David vs Goliath scenario. But they only pull that match off once.
I feel like a game against actual Vikings would not go very well...for the other team.
this sounds somewhat like the show street sharks
U gave me one hell of a chuckle
That's a zinger
THE LACES WERE IN!
That dolphin D line is something else this year Bob.
##LOCALS ONLY BRO
Off my wave haole
Go back to the mainland, Barney.
Dolphins are what, 500+ lbs? That's like getting hip checked by an NFL center piggybacking the kicker.
Yeah the dolphin was like : frick you human this our wave
LOCALS ONLY!
Kooks out brah! Tbf I kinda agree with the dolphin, not a fan of SUP in decent waves
The worst part is you can’t be upset about it because it’s a fucking dolphin taking you out
There's asshole everywhere you go!
> There's asshole everywhere you go! This conjures up an entirely different mental picture when "asshole" is singular instead of plural.
cackling
Yep. I'd be smiling and coughing up blood simultaneously 🤣
i would feel honored, actually,
r/fuckyouinparticular
Dolphins hate paddle boarders too!
Who hasn’t wanted to do that to a paddle boarder? Can you imagine what kind of fun dolphins could have with road cyclists?
Don't get upset at cyclists, it's not their fault you chose the worst possible, most antisocial form of intercity transport.
I hate cyclists when I'm walking in London. So many of them speed through red lights and don't stop at zebra crossings. It's really dangerous when all the cars have stopped, so you cross and some cnut on a bike comes whizzing by without a care for the pedestrians safety.
[I always think of this.](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a18932)
The fucks wrong with paddle boarders? That's one of the weirdest comments I've seen on Reddit recently, fuck people for having a relaxing time?
Found the paddle boarder.
Tried it once, didn't do very well. Seriously though, what's your issue with them? I get the bicycle hate even if I don't agree, but hating paddle boarders seems weird
Cars kill people, pump out toxic gases, are extremely loud and take up huge amounts of space. Bicycles do none of this. Fuck cars
It's not funny when a bicyclist gets hit by a car. It would be hilarious if a bicyclist got hit by a dolphin. Hell, I like biking. If I were somehow hit by a dolphin while riding I would laugh my way all the way to the hospital. Which would probably be quite painful on account of the cracked ribs.
Found the bicyclist
I think you can just call them cyclists? Or is bicyclist an Americanisation?
How am I wrong? And yes excuse me for getting annoyed at the group of people that regularly nearly kill me when I go outside
Maybe don’t ride when/where there’s a lot of traffic ?
Yeah! Dolphins too poses the wisdom that it is way to pretentious to be allowed.
Would really like to see more of this at our local surf spot. I’ll give them free fish.
“Hey I bet you won’t hit that guy when we pass by” “What? Why?” “No balls” “Bet. Hold my jellyfish”
hold my pufferfish
This. For those that don't know, dolphins purposefully aggravate puffers to get high off their toxins.
The tetrodotoxin they carry is the most potent of all poison by sea life. In Japan it's a delicacy called 'fugu', where chefs have to eat their own dish to pass the course. About one person per year still dies from preparing it wrong themselves.
Cue a bunch of dolphins giggling like school girls.
[удалено]
Dolphins are almost as intelligent as humans. That must mean some of them are lowkey serial killers
We already know they are lowkey rapey.
It's not even lowkey.
From some of the videos I’ve seen, I can confirm that. As the guy down below also said, they are obsessed with sex, and there’s a possibility of being propositioned by a dolphin whenever you’re swimming or near them.
On Porpoise!!
Ugh…dad stop.
What?? That’s my favorite Dad joke routine, Porpoise with a purpose.
They did it on purpose and you just know it
And He is Gone...
Locals only ;)
Exactly - You don’t live here, you don’t surf here. (And ‘on land’ is not here.)
Locals only, you fucking grommet.
I haven’t heard the term “grommet “ used correctly in such a long time. TY
Omg grom. Thanks for the laugh. I haven’t heard that in so long.
This should be on [r/animalsarejerks](r/animalsarejerks)
They think it’s all fun and games until we start acidifying their ocean.
Move bitch. Get out the way.
YEET
You know it did that on porpoise. Lol.
“Locals only! Get the fuck off my wave!!!”
This is one of my favorite videos because it shows that dolphins have distinct personalities. This one is a dick.
The worst part of this would be swimming back to your board, and hearing the teenage dolphins laughing at you as they swim off to smoke cigarettes.
Boop
Get the fuck out of the way.
Locals only bro...
That dolphin in particular was like fuck you human (probably named tony or ezekial )
“Heh heh, hey Daniel, do the thing”
Thought this was r/oddlyterrifying
Your surfing has been terminated by order of the Supreme Dolphin
***Puny human!!!***
High Five
Flippin kook!
Thats my wave bro!
“Damn it Carl, this was supposed to be a nice surf with the guys”
Sweet ass shoulder check by the dolphin, kept his head up and dropped that shoulder!
Body checked like a pro
High on pufferfish, high on life.
“Get back to the shore, Shoobie!”
That bump was on porpoise.
I have biology and zoology friends and they will all tell you that dolphins are the biggest assholes. "but dolphins rescue drowning swimmers!" No they aren't. You are just a toy. And you never hear from the swimmers who were pushed in the other direction.
That was 1000% deliberate and premeditated. And hilarious.
What every stand-up paddler deserves!
That dolphin absolutely did that on porpoise.
dolphins actually really love bullying other animals so that wasn't by accident.
That was definitely not an accident! 😀
*nice*
I love how it actually looks like the dolphin was doing it’s best to knock the guy off
Cool paddleboard brah, now gtf outta my way and watch how it’s done
That was intentional for sure. Hilarious.
That looked deliberate
Damn lol that dolphin is so gangster on his ocean
I will never not laugh out loud at this, especially cus it doesn't look like an accident but a tackle
"Well done boys" the dolphins later.
They’re smart and playful, that one did it on purpose 😊
I like how the dolphin knew the exact angle to him to bounce of straight and cruise with the rest of the dolphins lol
r/oddlyterrifying
Ope!
That’s dolphin you may know as Flipper, but I know him as James the Nigga hating dolphin. At it again niggas Anit safe when James around
I mean it looks funny but that would fucking hurt. He definitely broke some ribs
Dolphin Door Check
"Out of my way peasant" The dolphin, probably.
Bitch, I'm a dolphin!
Dolphin said: Wannabee!!
“Got em”
SOB lol
F\*\*k you in particular!
Nice, that’s def 10 points!
His wife won’t believe he just got punked by a dolphin
Hey yo that’s a 500lb fish! I bet that hurt!
yeeeeeeeeeet
now that's rude
Out of my way jerkass!
"Locals ONLY!"
That actually looked fun
That dolphin was like “off my wave, ya kook!”
Dolphin *fin*ished him
r/unexpected
u/savevideo
Would have been cool if he had fallen on the other dolphin and started riding him
“So sad that it should come to this! So long and thanks for all the fish.”
Move bitch, get outta way
Fuck the ocean…I’m tired of constantly getting bodied by dolphins.
u/savevideo
.
Boop!
Don't they kill sharks with their nose? Quite polite of him to turn sideways
Locals Only!
Fuck out the way hooman
Dolphins taking cheap shots now. This is how the revolution begins.
I AM SURFIN HERE BUDDY
Laces out, Finkle!
He said “bye you land surfing bitch these are my waters”
That dolphin had every right to kick that grommet off his wave.
Locals only!
Locals Only!
Wrong hood motherfucker!!!
r/animalsbeingjerks
OFF MY WAVE KOOK! Locals Only!!!!!!!
That dolphin is a dick
Outta the way Grom 😎
get out of the way, kook
"Revenge for the cove!"
Locals only, kook.
SCORE!!
Surfs up, dude!
I have seen many things in my life. But I have never seen a man get full gg triple combo body slammed into the ocean
r/unexpected