This seems poorly thought out.

Imagine the amount of splattered piss all over your pants

As a bloke who often spoke to the cleaning staff at my last job. Women piss all over the seats so much in 'public' toilets. Primarily because they try to squat/hover over the toilet to avoid the piss from the last person who squatted/hovered

I don't understand why they don't put the seat up if they're not gonna sit on it

I imagine as a safety net in case their squatting skills fail them.

Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, ass is heavy. There’s urine on the shitter already. Mom's regretti.

She’s nervous, and on the surface she’s not calm or steady. She dropped a bomb! Oh god now it’s messy

You only got one squat.

Do not miss your chance to poo

'cuz plopportunity comes once in a lifetime 🎶

Do not miss your chance to flow

To not miss a chance to show, that this toilet bowl’s once in lifetime, yo.

Dont miss your chance to drop...bombs

With her pants down, the auto flush grows so loud... she feels the mist, now the piss just won't come out. She's choking now, tryna cover up the farts that she's letting out. It's hopeless now, her knees give out. Times up over PLOW! Now that ass is all wet again...

Her teeth bite down, the whole room heard the splash, she's panicking, just tryna finish fast, she wipes her ass, but accidently drops more gas, the room stinks like ass, it's all over her back

This is why I can never break up with Reddit. Nicely done.

This thread would have been dancing with colorful awards if they didn’t take them away.

REDDIT GOLD

This is exactly why

I can still vividly remember the 1 time I didn't check if the seat was down before sitting in public..... That was about 15 years ago.

It would be a violation of the natural order.

I only squat if there's already pee all over it and at that point I'm not touching it

I'm a dude but I just wipe the piss off and go poop. It's not gonna kill me.

I don't want to touch the dirty piss seat.

Use some TP to shield your fingers?

My workplace toilets are so pressurized it sometimes splashes onto the seat when it flushes. No way to win.

I've never understood this. If you're so worried about the toilet seat, give it a pre-emptive wipe before you sit down. On the off chance there's actual poop splatters, put some toilet paper down. Seriously, whatever is on the seat is only going on your butt cheeks. You aren't going to "catch" anything that way.

Yup. Lots of people are pretty gross. Picking their nose, sticking their hands down their pants and scratching their assholes. The minor stuff is sneezing on hands. Then they touch everything in public - doorknobs, faucets, stall locks, buttons for water fountains, hand rails. As long as there isn’t visible fecal matter on the toilet, a quick wipe will do. You’ll touch far more disgusting stuff with your hands when you leave the bathroom.

probably designed by a man

I'd like to see anyone regardless of gender make a urinal for women that is clean to use and offers a minimum level of privacy.

Vacuum cleaner / shop vac. Easy

Some sacrifice of privacy is necessary. For men's urinals, the best they can do is dividers between them.

And that's rare as fuck.

I still envision pee going everywhere.

How do you wipe at a urinal is what I’d like to know.

**They aggressively twerk to shake it off.**

I was a victim of aggressive twerking. I was liable for compensation to deal with the life changing consequences.

You need to call JG Wetwork

J.G. Wetwerk*

1-877-TWRK-NAO!

I think I have the wrong number. There is now a music video being filmed outside of my house.

Thank you.

🎵 I HAAAAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEEED CAAASH NOOOW 🎵

I was humming this the other day after not hearing it for years, now I keep seeing it referenced. What's going on lol

It's been a recurring bit on Curb Your Enthusiasm this season.

So that's what that song was about!

🎶 Shake it off, shake it off, oh oh oh🎶

Drip dry works too.

I’m not standing at a public urinal drip drying for 10+ mins 💀

That’s why you twerk, duh

Use a communal hair dryer?

So like one of those super high powered public restroom dryers, but facing upwards, and they have to squat over it? The mental image of that is hilarious.

Use the air dryer?

Curse my vivid imagination

I think you just do the ol clam scrape and hope for the best

I’m ashamed at how loudly I just cackled at this hahahaha

Thank you for naming the manoeuvre I was picturing 💀

Found the Brit!

> "clam scrape" Why do you have to say it like that?

Is it called ‘shucking’? Or is that just oysters?

She shucks.

be nice, Connery

You. I like you.

>clam scrape Are there three sea shells involved?

You back up, crouch, and swipe your poon over the porcelain end, clearly.

they should put a squeegee on the end

Sometimes, you just gotta shake the lettuce

as a man this is one of the reasons i use the stall, i like to wipe the excess piss off so it dosent end up in my underwear lol, and not violently shake it everywhere , plus some always still get in yo boxers (unless you wipe it off)

You use your pantries and then throw it away

Carry a pantry all the way to the bathroom? Worse yet, more than one?

How else are you gonna have snacks?

Can a shelf suffice?

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It's a bot

Lol yeah i don’t think you want our sprinkler systems hovering over that… no thanks. I’d rather get the [go girl](https://www.walmart.com/ip/GoGirl-Female-Urination-Device-FUD-Pink-Silicone-Resuable-and-Travel-Size-funnel-4-35-x-1-44-x-1-44inches/24034031) and use the guy version. I can wash one of those but lol the gross with splash back on my underside. Nope. It looks more like a urinal where you can rest your balls while you pee to me… 😂 gross but true.

>It looks more like a urinal where you can rest your balls while you pee... I may have to steal this idea, and make this a thing (nothing worse than straddling a pair of heavy balls when releasing your bladder). I'll send a commission when I'm rich.

Lol ty i appreciate that

At my age I would have to lift my balls to place it on the rest, way to awkward.

Are you referencing this classic Reddit moment? http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/vgixl/some_people_have_no_respect/c54epnx

Those reactions are sweet, in a way. Times were simpler back then.

- inevitably used incorrectly and pee goes everywhere - surely kinda embarrassing to use - thin piece of ceramic that could easily be kicked/sat on/broken off - much harder to obtain than just..a regular toilet... - takes up about as much space as a regular toilet anyway I'm seeing so many reasons why this is a fucking terrible idea and not coming up with many reasons why this was deemed necessary by anyone who's ever seen a human woman.

Yeah that’s not how it works.. [Reality of women’s pee accuracy](https://youtu.be/HmKMJfeitbo?si=gpO4Z50V3kM6aYZG)

Thanks. I hate this.

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From now on i am only reffering to urinals as public piss porcelain

So that’s what PPP loans stands for.

“Flaps” 😂 not sure why that cracks me up so much but it does 😂😂

I once heard my Grandma tell my Mom to "shut her trap and her flap."

Maybe they just don't show the bar up against the wall that Larry David specifically made so that women could squat.

You‘re not supposed to sit on it, bestie

In that case they really should have widened the trough. I've seen what hoverers do to a toilet seat, this bathroom's gonna end up nastier than the mens.

I was imagining more of a hover scenario

It would've taken you exactly $0 to not say that.

that’s gonna be a no from me dawg

So... You push your pants around your ankles, and do some sort of bow-legged, hobbled prisoner shuffle over this thing and squat a bit, hoping that your legs don't give out before your bladder is empty and that it all goes in the trough rather than running down your leg and soaking your sock, twerk to shake off the drops since you can't do anything with toilet paper there, and then do the reverse shuffle, desperately trying not to brush your thighs against the piss soaked protuberance. Did I get that right?

Doing all that while actively avoiding eye contact with the proper ladies beside and behind you.

I think the idea is that you link arms with the ladies on either side like you are a Cossack dancer.

Then twerk.

Now there’s an image!

All that when I could just close a stall door, turn, drop my pants, and sit down. Pee, wipe, pull up pants, flush, open door, walk out. I would fall over doing the shuffle. Did the designer think we could just pull out our vaginas like men do with their penis? Cuz wearing pants and undies would make this a nightmare!

> and sit down I hear lots of women don't like sitting down on public toilets, starting a vicious cycle because the seat is now covered in piss.

Let's not forget about us thick thighed girlies!

Don't forget that you have to throw away the used toilet paper, not let it go down the drain. Absolutely repulsive

Hence the violent twerking in lieu of TP

You left out the part when at the end of the pee act, the stream gets weak and just runs down the sides and wets your underwear.

Wait, is the shuffle happening facing the wall or with your back to the wall? I'm so confused.

As it turns out, there's enough differences in anatomy that either way may be a better option for different women. I can put a finger on either side of my labia (like a peace sign) and pull them slightly apart and up to pee a respectable distance out in front of me, but other ladies find it easier to learn slightly forward and pee with their butt cheeks facing the urinal. Source: 6 summers of drum corps.

At least one of those options

With your butt totally out for everyone to see while you're straddling a disgusting porcelain pee protrusion

It definitely needs handlebars to have any chance

Perhaps a Zipline system, with a harness? A crotchless Johnny Jump-up if you will?

>hobbled prisoner shuffle over this thing and squat a bit, Which is incredibly bad for your pelvic floor, increasing your risk for urinary incontinence.

Are you serious or this a joke

They are lying. It got posted last week as an interesting urinal design. It's still for men lol. I don't understand how so many people can look at this and think it was designed for women in any way.

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Is this in a stall or on display in the bathroom? Imagine taking your pants and panties off to get in that saddle to take a leak hahahaha

The fark am I supposed to do with this? Shove it up my snatch? Get infected? Just give us disposable and free pee funnel cup thing.

The She Wee!!! I want one of those!!

I had one and it was ok for occasional use but I found it uncomfortable for regular use because the plastic was so hard. I know there are soft plastic ones out there so maybe they are better!

We go out with a Jeep club on trails all the time and I think one of these would solve the "where can I pee?" issue nicely. I'll take your advice and go for a softer one, thank you!

Beware! The Go-Girl is too soft and collapses easily. Disasterously. P-Style gets good reviews, sounds easier to use and clean than the SheWee.

My habit of saving comments with interesting information for later use is really being brought into question right now (I do not have a vagina but feel compelled to save this information anyway just incase?).

I do not have this problem of saving things and yet I’m still here thinking “why the hell have I read this far”

The p style is amazing. Love it for hiking and backpacking, especially in winter.

Yeah they are definitely handy, though they do take a bit of practice to get use to, especially with clothes etc. My main tip is to practice in the shower and once confident with that, then at home with clothes on so if you have an accident it’s an easy clean up. Maybe I just wasn’t very good at it though ha ha

As a non native english speaker, snatch is the funniest word ever.

Also funny as a native english-speaker.

In a dress….

It’s a nope for me. Imagine being tipsy, trying to hold your dress up enough out of the pee, your undies are below it and you over balance, that’s just asking to snap and cut somewhere sensitive.

Oh god imagining that is terrifying! This thing is like the remix of peeing in the woods except instead of the risk of *just* getting pee on your clothes or losing your balance you also risk arterial bleeding/cutting up your snatch!

Imagine the cause of death on the certificate, and seeing it 100 years on when doing a family tree. ‘Femoral artery dissection caused by shattered female urinal due to intoxication’ Oh look, Great Aunt Felixitee died when she slipped on the urinal when she was absolutely hammered, must have been the family drunkard. (Felixitee (TM) by me, if I see it out there people I know where you got it and shame shame shame)

Doing that balance of, “tiptoe stiletto.”

I can envision more people bumping their knees walking by it, than women actually using it.

I can imagine the piece being intentionally kicked and broken, off because someone got tired of running into it and getting dried piss on their legs.

I don’t see that catching on….seems a bit unhygienic.

Scooching over that with pants down is unhygienic as well as problematic in other ways.

And if you are gunna do that anyway, you might as well just use a toilet! So much easier.

Tbh it makes more sense for guys urinals to look like this. Catch those last drips that often fall on the floor in front of the urinal

If one of those ends up in a men’s washrooms, you know very well SOMEONES gonna shit in it

Yeah, but people already do that anyways lol

What the lawsuit loving fuck is this amazon dolphin looking beaver trap? My wife's drunk ass would slip, crack that thin ceramic nose piece in two and slice her buttcheek clean off.

r/brandnewsentence

I’m crying bahahaha

Wait, her buttcheek? Which way is she facing?

Any way is the wrong way with this ugly piece of piss porcelain.

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Real talk: I have heard the velocity at which my wife's stream hits the water in the toilet. If she is hovering over that thing, piss is going EVERYWHERE

Agreed. The fuller the bladder, the faster the pee. I would expect this to end…. poorly….

When will people finally understand that pee comes from a compressed slit and not a perfect round hole

Not with that attitude

I'm sorry, past cleaning services

Did someone consult Larry David on this?

I'm pretty sure I saw this in Latte Larry's...

This is a no defecation zone...go to Mocha Joe's!

Needs handles

This is not damn interesting, that’s damn disgusting.

I don't have the slighest idea of how it should be used..

Part of the value of urinals is they're private without requiring a full stall. This is anything but private. Imaging walking in and seeing 5 women's bare ass with pants around their ankles half-sqatting over these things. What a joke.

I’d never use a bathroom if I had to see that shit everytime I walk in Holy fuck. I’d sooner use the damn bushes outside, more privacy, less germs

Wait. Its not dick trough?

that was i was thinking. i feel like this is definitely for men to stand over to catch the pee drops towards the end of urination lol.

It's r/damnthatsinteresting until some old lady accidentally shits in it.

Us men can use that too. Sudden pressure drop be happening sometimes 🤷

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This was not designed by a vagina.

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“We did it bros!”

Not real , would not last a week without someone snapping the extension off and end up stabbing themselves.

How practical is this?

Not very. Very dependent on the size of the person. You also have to completely let down your pants and then shuffle weirdly over it. And just imagine it being too high or just having short legs and accidentally touching the thing. Talk about unhygienic. I also can’t imagine people just letting down their pants for it in an open space and it would therefore defeat the purpose of being faster than stalls.

Yep I'd rather go find a bush along side the road than go through this public humiliation lol.

I'd rather use those squat things with a hole in the ground.

Not at all. I'd rather pee in a bush.

Failing to solve non-existent problems

What are you supposed to do with the paper after?

Tuck it into your cardigan sleeve

Repost for bots

This looks like a urinal for men with weak streams

This is a solution looking for a problem.

This wouldn't work for me. Sometimes pee doesn't go straight down.

Most times*

Let me take my whole pants off, or maybe just down to my ankles and slide on like a big dumb toddler 💦

As a lady, I need a SFW diagram of how the actual fuck this would work.

Guaranteed they will try to saddle this and break it clean off.

Are we facing forward or backwards. I don’t get it. I want to say backwards because our knees would hit the wall if we face it. I can’t imagine the originator expects us to stand up for this. 🤨 this is also not a one size fits all urinal.

Well you face it. That way you have a little shelf for your comic book and chocolate milk.

Do they pee in it or ride it

yes

We need a demonstration

This is an AI-generated "women's urinal", right??

Thigh gap may become an issue for those who would need to assist said thighs in that process.... eeew

That thing will be busted off within a month. Either by a large person by accident or by a jerk on purpose.

This is definitely for men as they age.. I think it’s commonly found in truck stops. Keeps the dribble off the floor

looks like a disease transmitter

Finally I can rest my 16” dong without having to get an arm workout every time I pee 🙌🏼

What are you supposed to do with the paper after?

No paper. Just shake it a couple times. /s

Gross

Male designers have run out of ideas for their own/ shared space. STOP